Generally speaking, the late night threads are consumed with insults, dick jokes, worries about xBrads teef, and the occasional dick-joke-insult. Last night was no different, but the thread also contained a fairly serious conversation. You see, Andy and JackStraw went to see Mark Steyn deliver a speech last night. If you haven’t read his book, America Alone; tsk tsk. It’s very good, even if it is kind of uncomfortable to read. No one wants to face the truth of the demographic nightmare that is creeping across Europe, effectively changing their culture.
During the speech, a question was raised by an audience member:
Will the Europeans push back as the Islamic tide breaks?
The response was summarized by categorizing the European population in the following way:
1) Old folks who are too tired to resist
2) Young people who leave
3) Converts to Islam (go along to get along)
Fack! Well, ok. That sort of leaves us in a future position to save the world (again). So lets take look at the next generation to see who will be defending us, and our way of life:
Fack! Save us Will and Peel, you’re our only hope! We’ll also need PJ, Herr, and Car in’s army, STAT.
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
GET UP!
Gah, you inflicted this upon us this early? Damn you, MJ!
My kids beat up the emo kids at school.
help is on the way.
My kids beat up the emo kids at school.
—————-
Give them all an extra cookie for me.
Morning
aaaiiiigggghhhh! Oh, whew…. thought I was out of coffee!
Hey Sohos. Happy Friday to you and the Count.
Thanks MJ back at ya!
Where are the younger Europeans leaving to go to. It’s my understanding that we don’t let Manu of them cone here any more.
Fucking auto-correct.
I’m training mine in the ancient art of “Blowing Shit Away”.
What does “EMO” mean?
EMO means emotional. It used to be a type of music, kind of like the Cure, but then spread to a culture of black shit, face holes, and androgynous self-awareness.
I don’t have kids, but it seems like we our proportion of pussies to normal kids has risen dramatically.
My parents actually had a rule when I was growing up: No black clothes, period.
short for “emotional” I believe. At least that’s what my son, Chronic, says….
CB it is the current “GOTH”
*zaps errant ‘we’ out of comment.
I don’t have kids, but it seems like we our proportion of pussies to normal kids has risen dramatically.
I agree with this. As MCPO pointed out one day when it was snowing, how many kids were out scooping snow for their parents, then off to make a little spending money by scooping the neighbor’s walks?
Even my brothers do it themselves, while the kids sit inside. It’s a different world.
In no way, does this surprise me: http://is.gd/Q094YE
>> Fack! Well, ok. That sort of leaves us in a future position to save the world (again).
You should’ve heard the rest of the speech. Not encouraging …
Oh, okay and thanks all for the definition. So EMO’s are the ones who are responsible for all the whiney ass formula music on radio these days, eh?
In no way, does this surprise me: http://is.gd/Q094YE
I’m not opposed to piling on obama when he fucks something up. And I’ve enjoyed a lot of pile ons over his many fuck ups. Participated vivaciously in some.
Having said that, I spent 8 years being pissed at the liberal media for blaming Bush for shit that was way the fuck underneath his job description. Abu Grabe comes to mind. In my opinion Fox News is engaging in the same petty bullshit with this headline. Unless they can verify that Obama personally arranged for this transport or someone pretty damned close to him in the heirarchy, then my sense of fairness is offended. My guess is that someone who has never even met Teh Won made this call.
Possibly moldy but funny nevertheless:
These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite…)
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a ‘full six-pack’ but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming..
10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?” (MY FAVORITE)
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8 “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” (National Crime Information Center)
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
AND THE WINNER IS….
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.. Sign here.”
formula music on radio these days, eh?
————
*Sets snare trap in neighborhood with The Shins CD, and Twillight DVD.
Gimme a few minutes, I’ll let you know.
Heh, Twilight is the perfect example.
What PG said.
I had pretty much the same thought when I read that.
Even my brothers do it themselves, while the kids sit inside. It’s a different world.
————–
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few days. I recently rented our condo to a nice young couple that is going to be married in April. The girls mom called to bitch about the condition of the bathroom because she felt like she had to clean it when she helped her daughter move in.
Her mom called.
She’s 25.
WTF?
My sister had a similar experience in which an employee’s mother called to dispute the performance review she had been given. The girls was in her mid twenties, graduated college, and HAD a fairly professional position in the company. Again, WTF?
Also, GET OFF MY LAWN!
Sounds like a fun night with Steyn, Andy. I’m jealous!
But I got to almost shake hands with Palin, when she was in Des Moines before 2008 elections, so that softens the blow.
Hmmm. Looks like someone at FNC thought that too. Now it says “Team Obama”.
Hmmm. Looks like someone at FNC thought that too. Now it says “Team Obama”.
Layers and layers of editorial control. I guess the top layer finally finished the Starbucks and closed the poker website, looked at the website and said, “Win The Future?”
That is fucked up, MJ. I don’t know whether to blame the kids, the parents or both. So I’ll go with both.
MJ, my stepmother is like this with my half brother. She even would go to his house and clean and make dinner (two things she never/rarely did when she lived with my dad). now, my brother is married. But the two of them need a MOMMY to take care of ’em.
I don’t understand it. When I hit 18, I was OUT THE DOOR. I wanted to be on my own, and take care of my own shit.
It’s not the kids that are necessarily different. It’s a different breed of PARENT that has created these kids. I think that is a very important thing to point out.
These kids didn’t spring from no where. They were raised this way.
So I’ll go with both.
———
Me too. I think I’m just getting older, and starting to notice more. The guy who rented the place apologized, which was nice. He was pretty embarrassed, which means there’s hope. $20.
As for kids shoveling snow – I wonder if it isn’t merely a simple situation of people not knowing their neighbors.
When I was a little kid, I knew EVERYONE. My parents could safely send me to their door, to knock or whatever.
Now a days? People don’t know their neighbors anymore. I’m not making excuses, but I know before I moved out to the boonies, I was outside as much as possible, trying to meet folks. But did I trust ’em? I didn’t know what child molester may have lived nearby.
My kids do the driveway (a multi-hour job – usually two), although sometimes I have to go and do a bit of improvement afterwards.
I’m fussy, and the exercise is good for me.
One of my son’s friends made $900 during the last storm.
He’s got a truck with a plow in front (beater truck, I guess). Out here, most driveways have to be done with a truck. My husband’s stubborn.
Eventually we’ll switch. The rocks break the snowblower all the time.
Yeah, I can see the parent thing. I can’t imagine how my mom coped with 3 boys in the house, all in sports, messing around, jumping garbage cans on their bikes with no helmets, etc.
I was surprised when my SIL let my oldest nephew go out for Jr. High football. At his age, I’d already had about 30 stitches in various parts of my body from dumb things I tried. Guess they might be a little smarter, in that regard.
an employee’s mother called to dispute the performance review she had been given.
Helicopter parents, always hovering.
Carin I was like you at 18 I hit the door and never went back. As a first generation latch key kid I never felt I got enough attention from my parents and I was super independent. I think at first I tried to make up for that with my kid, Then I realized I was creating a spoiled, whiny brat. That’s worse. When I was my kids’ age. I could clean the whole house and get dinner on the table. My kids are JUST now learning how to load the dishwasher etc…by the time they graduate high school they should be independent enough to get shit done and not fall apart and need MOMMY.
Son wants the new video game that it is out. It is 60 bucks. His Mother gave him 20. we gave him 20. and he has to do chores for the other 20. He will be working this weekend.
I was a latch-key kid too. I never had issues really with thinking about my parent’s attention (looking back, though, I LOL at how little they were involved in my life – like they NEVER went to a track meet, although I lettered all four years, and was captain my senior year).
My mom even skipped my HS graduation.
But, I just didn’t want to put up with parents anymore. Their moods, or wants. I wanted what I wanted. My coffee cup HERE. Dinner when I wanted it.
You know what commercial really illustrated that for me? The one where the guy is in his house, calls his dad to tell him he left the door wide open and he’s heating the whole neighborhood.
Ha ha ha … I lurved that one.
Also, it helped that moving out didn’t mean I suddenly needed to assume all sorts of extra bills that were really costly.
I didn’t have a car (nor car payment or insurance) and I didn’t have a cell phone, etc.
I think those two things really glue a kid to living at home.
They get used to living the high life and don’t want to give things up for independence. Especially when living at home isn’t really any sort of restriction on their life.
Heh, Wisconsin isn’t the only place where Dems are gumming up the works, debating the Labor Bills for extended periods: Des Moines Register: Dems push labor-bill debate all night long
like they NEVER went to a track meet,
—————–
Weird. Mine were the same way. When I was a kid, sure, but in high school they couldn’t really make it.
ha ha ha.
comments are comedy gold.
After action report for my last link it funny too.
Oh, good lord. Pseudoephedrine registries .
Apparently, this legislator isn’t in favor of my “give addicts all the drugs they want” approach to dealing with the problem.
Ok, I’m done entertaining you folks this morning.
Thanks for your time, Car in!
Next!
Mj, I linked this before, but I just saw it again and I always think of you:
http://tinyurl.com/6ck6b3a
MARE, you WHORE, you’re HERE!!!
So. Whatcha doing?
Carin, why are TSA agents patting down people AFTER they get off the train?
http://americandigest.org/sidelines/2011/02/
Carin, my husband is hunting with friends, I am at home wondering if i am going to go to a movie or not.
Yes, I’ve decided, I’m going. I just don’t know which one.
I also need to decide what I’m going to do with the rest of my life……no biggie.
Awesomeness. Where you been?
This always remind me of you:
http://tinyurl.com/4kn83qg
My good friend and her husband pampered their son. Never made him do anything for himself and allowed a lot of video game playing and sleeping in. Well, they now have a 15 year old disgusting, obese, flunking out of school, pig. The kid is repulsive.
HA! I love the word “skank.”
That is, I love calling skanks, skanks.
I also need to decide what I’m going to do with the rest of my life……no biggie
Ever consider a future in plastics?
In defense of my friend, she was always trying to get the kid to do stuff, but her stupid, liberal husband was ALWAYS working against her. It broke up their marriage.
this is just what we were talking about – VDH.
Ever consider a future in plastics?
MEANING OF LIFE SOLUTIONS™
Go see The King’s Speech, Mare, if you haven’t already.
Why is VDH living in the mind of the Hostages? It seems like such a waste.
On the list, Clint!
…at 18 I hit the door and never went back…
I think most girls are that way; boys not so much. All it took was the THREAT of having to come live at home and go to junior college for DD#2 to straighten up and improve her grades at college. Said she was going to “prove” that she could do it. Hey, whatever it takes!
That may be why military service was mandatory for so many years – get the boys out of the house (and away from Mommy) and turn them into men tout suite.
If you wait until they’re 21, it takes until they are 30+ to turn them into men…..
The first time one of my older daughter’s schoolmates got pregnant (sophomore year) and the new mama and the baby were gonna live at home and grandparents were gonna provide the money for all the baby’s needs and daycare costs and everything so young mama could continue her schoolgirl life uninterupted, me and Mrs. Pendejo decided to have a long talk with both of our daughters. If they got preggers and had a baby here’s what would happen. Band – out. Athletics – out. Any other extra-curricularrs out. School 8:00 – 4:00 and then home to be a mama to her baby. Have to get a job on the wknd to pay for the day care during the week. Parents paying for college – OUT. Baby daddy – buzzard buffet out in the middle of the desert somewhere.
I’d bet a considerable sum of money that both my daughters graduated from HS with their virginity intact.
http://www.snotr.com/video/5987
Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa, snort, LOL, cry, hahahahahahahaha.
*admires PG’s parenting technique
Car in, I think of myself as a kind and loving father. I’m sure opinions vary on this. But it never occurred to me and my wife that we shouldn’t take charge of our childrens lives from the getgo and then loosen the reins gradually as they got older. I used to see the parents of my children’s peers bargaining with their ten year olds as to how shit was gonna go down, and frequently giving in to the little shitasses, and I wanted to slap them silly. And then slap them for being silly.
But it never occurred to me and my wife that we shouldn’t take charge of our childrens lives from the getgo and then loosen the reins gradually as they got older.
Dad? Is that you?
My favorite Father’s Day card to my dad read this on the front: Dad, when I was 18, I couldn’t believe that you didn’t know ANYTHING!
Inside: Congratulations on all that you have learned in the last 7 years!
Best thing my parents ever said to me: “I’m disappointed in you. You are better than that.”
Always made me think, and make better decisions.
If you don’t read another thread all day, read this one: Ace: FiAF: Ancient Whore Edition
It starts with the Slushop, continues with the story, and then the comments.
This one will wind up in the sidebar for all time. Wow, the funneh is strong in this one. Well done, lauraw!
I just read the thread. That was very funny.
Oh that is just hysterical!
Aw thanks J’Ames. That story looked like a good week ender for the Morons.
Ok simple question to start an argument: whose funnier, you or scott?
Same-same. We can’t make each other laugh. What one jokes aloud, the other was already thinking.
He found the Millie story for me last night.
Scott strikes me as a guy who would make a great friend, but his thought processes are reasonably normal and intact which is to say that he’s funny occasionally but not constantly. Laura strikes me as being someone who constantly thinks outside the box which is to say that she’s liable to be funny at the drop of a hat. Her little vignettes make me laugh about as hard as Rosetta’s lists. I vote lauraw
Lauraw has nicer bewbs.
Not much nicer, but still.
*runs away*
Same-same.
———-
That’s good. If you ever end up in Tampa you have to come over for dinner so I can laugh my ass off. My motives are purely selfish in this endeavor.
Same-same.
———-
That’s good. If you guys ever end up in Tampa you have to come over for dinner so I can laugh my ass off. My motives are purely selfish in this endeavor.
The question was pretty much for laura directly, but since you other fucksticks feel like jumping in…
suppeth unto all you all.
also, it’s snowing again. like a bitch.
Wow. No one ever invites me over to make them laugh.
If you guys ever end up in Tampa you have to come over for dinner so I can laugh my ass off.
I’m terribly boring in person until I get real comfortable, which takes years. You want Wiserbud or Rosetta for that.
You’re invited too brad. BYOT.
xbrad, you can come over to my house anytime and make me laugh.
I’m terribly boring in person until I get real comfortable, which takes years.
That’s gonna be a loooong visit.
*jumps Carin, gives her ‘the barefoot shoe’ *
I need some snowvacaine
Actually, I’m starting to hear rumbles that there might be an XBrad Southeastern USA tour this summer.
So, should I take the kids skiing this weekend? Hubby just suggested I take the kids up north for Saturday and Sunday.
Humn.
think he’s got plans with his girlfriend?
I always tell him, it had better be for love, ’cause I’m gonna have all his money.
Lapeer isn’t in the South East.
*double checks map.
Nope,I’m right.
I was SOOOOO disappointed that lauraw wasn’t able to make the Dallas meet-up! Not that Scott wasn’t a delightful person (he was), but I really wanted to meet the missus as well…..
Ok, I gotta go do stuff.
sigh.
Stupid oil in car.
there might be an XBrad Southeastern USA tour this summer.
Do Missouri in May instead or I’ll be crushed.
Sorry, Car in.
I made a tour of MI back in 97. You missed your chance.l
Laura, it’s bad enough I’ve missed the last 3 “drink all of Michael’s beer and wipe your dick on the drapes” parties.
I’m not in charge of the tour schedule.
Stupid oil in car.
I dare you to try it without it.
I’m not in charge of the tour schedule.
You are not a man.
>> I’m terribly boring in person until I get real comfortable, which takes years.
Shut up, whore.
HA!
That’s a little harsh, Laura.
**scratches ladybits**
Hello?
She’s never had crabs but she once had trilobites.
Not only is the crowd at Ace’s place funny, they also bring the f***in’ knowledge….
Do Missouri in May instead or I’ll be crushed.
So does this mean a hump sighting is confirmed? I might have to skip DD#3’s HS graduation!
*ducks to avoid Car in’s well-aimed barefoot shoe*
Will be there, as far as I know.
So does this mean a hump sighting is confirmed? I might have to skip DD#3′s HS graduation!
*ducks to avoid Car in’s well-aimed barefoot shoe*
yea, sure.
FUUUU
Look, you guys need to plan the STL meatup around MY schedule. I’ll carjack someone in B’ham and run up there…
**buys case of 5W30 for the hump**
The lack of mammaries at this weblog is highly disappointing.
Here you go, HM…
http://tinyurl.com/4mo22om
There’s been a date for Gettin Loony in St Louey?
Nothing official Jay but May 12-13 has been tossed around.
20th.
Mapping tells me I can make it to St. Louis in 23 H 39 M.
*runs out to gas up car and pick up 3 L of Mtn Dew*
*streaks thru blagh since no one’s here*
*tosses beads at myself*
*has been secretly filming Cyn’s insanity*
*posts on youtube*
*has been secretly filming Cyn’s insanity*
Nice coconuts!
*dubs Yakety Sax over the part where Cyn streaks through the blog*
This is going to win awards.
Don’t forget to speed up the tape, to give it that Benny Hill appearance, too!
*going for editing credits on award winning film
*begins incoherent rants about Lauraw’s hump and J’Ames’ love of Rosetta’s Pokemon costume while vowing to return triumphantly*
I’m terribly boring in person until I get real comfortable, which takes years.
Liar!
Count and I are both coming to teh St. Louis meat-up
Wiser is on bewb duty, so maybe we’ll see something before Saturday morning.
Sohos! Don’t bring count! I’ll be askerdt to grab your butt when you give me a hug!!
Just grab his as well and you’ll be fine
Hotspur – 38 on the front, 43 on the back. . . a respectable 81 today!
Just grab his as well and you’ll be fine
HAHAHAHAHA!
At the same time?!?!?!
Excellent, sounds like you’ve shaved a couple off this past week.
IMAO: FrankJ introduces you to the Koch Brothers
Hotspur – Striking it and putting it well, but the “touch” pitching off the dormant Bermuda is kicking my ass!
“Honey Badger don’t give a shit” T-Shirts for sale on E-Bay:
http://tinyurl.com/6gsaolr
Heh.
Nice round, Chief. Got a month to go until our big trip into the hills of West Virgina, which is less about golf and more about beer and charbroiled animals and poker and Yo Mama jokes, but still.
This post reeks of sweat and fear. When is Wiser going to post, or do we need a sub for the sub?
I just hope BBF isn’t the middle Emo kid.
MJ – Keep you britches on. . . at least until you see the poat!
Heh. Nice score today MCPO.
Who had February 25 in the pool for how long Parker/Spitzer would last?
DC Trawler: Client 9, Kathleen Parker 0
Hahahahaha
Fucking scrunt.
I am compelled to ask – where are the bewbs?! My deadlines have been met – I worked my ass off til 10 each night for the last 3 nights… I wanna see some tittehs!
I just hope BBF isn’t the middle Emo kid.
– – – – – –
I just verped.
Is that the term for throwing up a little in your throat?
The oral equivalent of the shart.
Striking it and putting it well, but the “touch” pitching off the dormant Bermuda is kicking my ass!
– – –
open your stance, lay that blade flat and sweep that baby right up there nice and cozy.
Is that the term for throwing up a little in your throat?
– – – –
vomit/burp = verp
The oral equivalent of the shart.
– – – – –
hahahaha, and ew
81… nice, Chief.
I’m playing Sunday if it doesn’t rain and isn’t freezing.
I’m delicate that way.
open your stance, lay that blade flat and sweep that baby right up there nice and cozy.
Or just do what I do and blade that mother fucker right into the pond where it belongs.
The witch’s chutzpah is a marvel to behold:
http://weaselzippers.us/2011/02/24/classic-nancy-pelosi-adds-in-more-praise-to-dnc-resolution-honoring-nancy-pelosi/
…open your stance, lay that blade flat and sweep that baby right up there nice and cozy…
*low-hanging fruit alert*.
GML – Yeah, I know WHAT to do, but my muscles ain’t cooperating – I keep decelerating on the way down and either chunking it or hitting a worm-burner.
Caption:
2 girls three dongs.
boobs are now available for your viewing pleasure
Yeah Chief – that is always the problem with green side chipping. That deceleration is good for about 4-5 strokes a round. Over swing and get that ball past the hole instead of trying to chip to it.
Or just do what I do and blade that mother fucker right into the pond where it belongs.
– – – –
Hank Haney is a hostage?!
[…] If these really are “actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New Y… I take back (almost) everything I ever said about teachers. […]