After seeing the enthusiasm my fellow Hostages greet the Chess Thread with I thought I’d steal some of that magic.
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Well, chess can be moderately amusing. I’d play it if I was retired. And the electricity was out for at least a few days. And I burned through most of my cellular data. So Labor Day has come and gone and now it’s time for the candidates (and the Russian hackers) to get serious and make their case to the American people. HAHAHA, who the hell am I kidding!?! This clown car won’t stop until the country goes broke or Soylent Green becomes the staple of our diets. Let’s keep the party going like it’s 1999!
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Well fuck. Somebody has to be first.
Which, now that I think about it, is probably the last thing your mom heard before she passed out at that frat party back in ’64.
I guess I could claim this bitch as mine. But then what would I do with it?
niiiicccce –
pg opens with the “your mom” gambit
he must be white
I do be white an shit. But I tan well.
Interesting crowd, this AM. Car in probably will be too scared to WW.
I was up early but had to do some shit first. Work is done for the day except for some reading/research later on. Now I have to hope nothing comes in to the ER before 1400-1500 that would require my attention.
Well, it is populated by the most racist, evil, misogynist, *-phobic and dangerous subset of the human race at the moment.
There is a surprising shortage of funny gifs or, for that matter, any gifs for chess on the tittyweb. I can remember lots of movie scenes where they say “Check” and the hero responds “Checkmate” but I’ll be damned if I can remember where they came from.
Carin must be off lamenting the loss of the earphone jack on the new iPhone.
Suck my white bishop while I dry hump your black rook.
Car in’s probably still in bed. Lazy American.
0bama thinks Americans are lazy because he only ever meets with democrats and republican politicians.
If I only ever met UAW bosses I’d think the whole organization was just organized crime with a thin veneer of legitimate business.
I’m watching a press conference with Pickles. After almost a year, the questions asked are hilarious.
Is the RNC sexist? Why aren’t you winning by more?
You have to be kidding me. It’s actually kind of funny.
Follow up.
Are you held to a different standard because you’re a woman?
Not a question about her repetitive lying about the lying that she lied about.
Not one.
Pickles is having a press conference? Or handling questions from approved people?
She took 5 questions but once her handlers realized it was a cakewalk they tried to pull a Constanza and left on a high note.
Not any questions about this?
http://tammybruce.com/2016/09/at-military-forum-hillary-forgets-benghazi-claims-we-did-not-not-lose-a-single-american-in-libya.html
*puts on the What if Bush did it list.
*has to change to BigInt, because we’ve gone over the integer 32 bit threshold of 2 billion
But I expect that given she’s barely standing and is throwing out a blizzard of lies.
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/De7TPa5
http://tinyurl.com/jtxypu3
Jam found the chess pics. Imagine that as a gif.
Er, maybe not…
Bottom to top – life, Tushar
https://imgur.com/13dHxvo
Alternate caption: today’s crossfit WoD
Is that a Wall Ball?
No wonder Car in hates them.
New Quilted Northern Rustic Weave toilet paper
Taking the environmentalists by storm!
Ugh. Lost another friend. We haven’t kept in touch, but he was basically like extended family to me. Known him for 20 years. Stroke. That makes three people this year.
2016 needs to go suck the dead flies off my foul, sticky hump, pronto.
Sorry to hear that, laura.
you know what I hate? Getting a little zit on your cheek, just so your eye can see it.
Driving me crazy!
I don’t remember my last zit.
I can’t see my own cheek. You’re weird.
I get about 2 or 3 real zits per year. Mostly under my right jawline where the beard grows in a weird direction and shaving stirs up trouble.
I think mine are from the exercise mats not being cleaned well. It goes in cycles.
I used to be able to see my cheeks, now I have to have a bad wind burn or sunburn.
Sympathies, Laura, sorry about your friend.
Xbradtc, shaved his balls for this?
Sorry about your friend, Lauraw.
My ex-wife and current NP both had/have adult acne. It’s weird how some people continue to have it as adults. Really something I know little about.
I had awful folliculitis on the back of my neck for years. I thought it was acne and I was just stuck with it. Asked my GP and he told me to take a round of penicillin, rub in some cort-10, and wash my pillowcases in hot water.
It was a like a miracle. 10 years of suffering and using coal-tar shampoos to try and cure my ‘dandruff’ were over in a week.
Seems the media is unhappy with Lauer’s unfair treatment of Hillary Clinton
http://ijr.com/2016/09/689395-matt-lauer-is-getting-destroyed-over-the-military-forum-with-hillary-and-trump-last-night/
Yes, the media is mad. Look for a reversal, like the one between the 1st and 2nd debates between Romney and Obama.
Anti dandruff shampoo does nothing for me. I should probably talk to a doctor.
Guy on The Price is Right was spinning the wheel just now, and Drew Carey asked him if he had any shout-outs. One of the first things he said was, “Happy birthday, Michael.”
Happy birthday, Michael.
Alex, if your scalp is itchy a lot, particularly at the hairline, it might be what I had. In any event, it can’t hurt to ask
I am loving the blowback from the MSM over Lauer’s treatment of Pickles. Their heads began exploding when he treated her like a man instead of a dried out hairy old entitled vagina.
I have a name you may recall – Candy Crowley.
Eat me.
How did we settle on Pickles? I like it.
She went on some dip shit’s show (too lazy to look it up), and the sycophant host, in an attempt to allay suspicion that she is in ill health, had her open a jar of pickles.
Sorry for the loss of your friend lauraw.
Ah yes, the Kimmel incident.
Mongo only pawn in game of life.
Anyone who believes that the pickle jar wasn’t opened back stage can keep their head up Pickles’ ass.
Pickles are green. You know what else is green? Whatever it was Hill Pickle hocked up on stage!
Back in Rockford for the day, stopped by to get some more of that candied bacon…no longer on the menu. My life sucks and I hate you all.
Can we not call her Pickles? I like pickles. Pickles are good.
http://tinyurl.com/zhpv682
for sean only you loogie hocking bastards –
http://tinyurl.com/zlnqo6l
Bless you, jamjam. I take back all those bad things I said about you behind your back.
What should we call the old cunt?
NSFW –
this pickles name is Bill
http://tinyurl.com/zshrj2s
this pickle’s name is mchacknkoff:
http://tinyurl.com/zaebe44
Football season starts tonight.
Interesting game. Cam Newton says it’s not a rematch of the Super Bowl. Whatever.
Wakey wakey
I like pickled. Lol
I’m three hours from Vermont.
And I’ve been up since 6am, MJ, you hosefocher
I’m three hours from Vermont
Me too! Eh, more like four. Why the drive?
Wedding. Troy new york
I’m 4 hours from your mom.
Carin?
http://tinyurl.com/hmsr2sf
Leon?
http://tinyurl.com/jkr53xy
2 hours from here.
* waves to the Northwest *
You are about to get storms.
Xbradtc loofahed his ass for this?
A wedding?
http://tinyurl.com/ja9b46g
No sooner does Carin send her daughter off to college and – shotgun wedding.
Gets all the kids outta home school and she’s jetting all over the country.
Leon?
No, Salatin. Much better writer than I am, and a better libertarian than most Reasonoids.
Getting my CO2 charged up tonight for my totally legal mass-inflammation device.
Make sure you get some beer, so someone can hold it.
Leon later tonight:
http://tinyurl.com/kroxq6d
I probably won’t have time to build it until Saturday morning.
That’s it. I’m voting for Johnson.
The fact that Trump doesn’t know that Aleppo is the capital of Raqqa is a big no no for me.
What’s a Leppo?
I didn’t know until today. I was pretty sure I saw it on a map in my RSV-CE when reading Exodus, but I didn’t know it was still there.
That’s it. I’m voting for Hillary.
Total side note: apparently pickles are a huge deal these days. Grocery stores are carrying artisan pickles that are like $10 a jar.
I’m dumb. Slightly dumber than Gary Johnson after a nice wake n’ bake but there is no way I’m paying $10 for a jar of pickles.
A leppo? Meh. Hill Pickle claims no one died from Preznit Tee Time leading from behind in Libya.
But, there really good pickles!
We have lots of pickles. Don’t think we’ve paid $10 for any of them.
MJ, could I interest you in some artisinal canned pasta sauce for…
*does some math*
$30 a quart?
I need to make pickles for a banh mi.
I have no idea if it’s any good, I haven’t opened a jar of it yet.
It probably is.
Also, if I were that Navy vet, I would join the witness protection program before there’s another unsolved murder, but he probably won’t because he had some stones, man.
He has “Connections” to Faux News. I don’t know what they are, but “Connections”
If you question Hill Pickle’s health, you are a “Fucking asshole”. Per Sarah Silverman. Jimmy Kimmel’s ex GF. Jimmy Kimmel…who provided Hill Pickle with the jar of pickles she opened on TV…adjusts tinfoil
MJ, could I interest you in some artisinal canned pasta sauce for…
*does some math*
$30 a quart?
——————-
That seems a bit high. I could probably afford $45, though.
But please use the metric system. I like to signal to my friends that I once went to Europe after college on a grand tour of the great cathedrals in Aleppo.
Alt Right connections, no doubt.
France better remember who the fuck they are before Notre Dame is lost. They weren’t always cheese eating surrender monkeys.
They are in 1qt jars, so I think that’s 5 kilonewtons apiece, as for metric money, I’ll take $50CN per jar.
There isn’t a person alive in France who isn’t a cheese eating surrender monkey. It’s been that way for over a century.
France could use a man like Charles Martel about now.
Unfortunately they have Hollande the willing catamite.
Ok that sounds fair.
I assume its locally grown, organic, non DNA, free trade sauce If not I can only pay $55CN per jar.
You can wire the sauce to my bank account: 4563425, 234590664 at Lehman Brothers. My SSN is 000000002.
That’s all bullshit.
Barack Obama is an effing mental deficient. He’s such an unworthy arrogant clown. Ace wrote this about him and its perfection: “it’s almost as if this pampered, do nothing, unqualified, malcontent actually hates America.”
It does contain DNA. Your mom helped me can, and she can be sloppy.
Okay, time to take Possum out shopping for flamethrower propellant.
Osiris-Rex launch in about 20 minutes
http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv/ustream.html
90 mil to Laos? Fucking Laos? I H8 TFG.
In anticipation of tomorrow’s post, I leave you this (probably NSFW) link:
Busty cosplay brings Ariel from The Little Mermaid to life like you’ve never seen her before
I just saw a Hillary commercial and she was talking about solar panels. SOLAR PANELS. Can you believe their after that boondoggle again? Eff them all. To hell. With Leon’s flamethrower.
Ima install some solar panels.
Up Pickles’ hoohah.
Sideways. With a pitch fork. And a taser.
Hello people Barak O’bama thinks are lazy.
Watched the NASA launch Roamy linked. Pretty amazing work for a bunch of bitter lazy racists. Of course we’ll never get to Indonesia’s level of technology.
I just had to have Dan open a jar of jalapenos. He’s calling me Jalapeno Gorton.
Xbradtc bleached his poo hole for this?
Every day, I H8 TFG more and more. I still H8 Hill Pickle more.
Don’t hate TFG. We’re done with him. Other than cancelling the election, he can’t do much more damage. He’s like a fly on a hot summer day who won’t light.
Hello people Barak O’bama thinks are lazy.
To be fair, I kinda am.
To be accurate, so is he.
Thanks for talking me off the ledge, HS.
Speaking of big boobs, I just found out today that the hot lead singer of the Divinyls died in ’13.
Co-worker showed up today, apologized, said he was trying to be funny and failed. I accepted his apology.
I still think it is sizest bs that my drinks are fewer in number and shorter pours because I am 100# lighter than Dan. More like 70# right now. Whatevs
XBrad, I thought you Army types did more by 9 AM than we mortals did all day. Please don’t tell me those commercials were lies. My friend TV has never lied to me before.
Roamy, you’re a good person. However, this guy is mental, keep an eye on him.
Roamy, what Mare said. Too bad you aren’t a woman of color or a Burka Babe
I did notice on TOS anniversary that you are not a red shirt.
Once the trebuchet stuff is over, Mini-me and I are going to take Krav Maga classes.
Shauna?
Raqqa on🎶
Co-worker showed up today, apologized, said he was trying to be funny and failed.
Riiiiiiggggghhhhht.
The commercial said 8am.
And once I got all that shit done by 8am, I didn’t feel like doing jack shit the rest of the day.
Finally a day off. Wife beater and cargo shorts. Tiara. Oso pooping MA is way mo bettah than PoW
Evening Hostages. So who refused to honor the Anthem today? I’m betting on MJ.
Bcoch hasn’t even posted a baseball thread at the Mothership.
*sigh* I know. Surgery on Tuesday means I’m probably going to have some time off work and be bored at home. So maybe a baseball thread while stoned on painkillers. That should be fun.
Osita, blue for science, of course. (It was borrowed, I was just happy it fit.)
LOLing at lib cousin tearing into Matt Lauer, that big meanie picking on the poor leetle girl Hillary.
You looked amazing. And nerdy. Moar amazing than nerdy.
Okay Xbrad you win, you are lazy, and I’m too lazy to argue about your laziness. So I guess BO was right.
Bcoch sorry to hear about you going under the knife but I would enjoy a baseball post at the HQ.
Good luck with surgery BCoch
Thanks folks. Years and years of baseball (pitching specifically) plus a season of church league softball finally did the shoulder in. Torn labrum.
Osita, thank you. It was B.C., before children. I think 1993 or 1994.
Bcoch should’ve played in the Jewish league with Wiser. The Chosen don’t have labrum surgery
Crap, someone is all sizest tonight. Good night you few. You chosen few
It’s not even dark there yet.
CT is so business friendly, Mossberg is moving out.
Our Governor will celebrate this news.
Where’s Mossberg headed to?
They’re all crashing at your house for the next couple of weeks. Just until they get on their feet again.
Also, you should definitely do a podcast while stoned on painkillers.
Texas.
The CT governor has zero respect for CT history.
TX, of course.
Hahahahaha, do you know where in Texas, Scott?
Sending birthday hugs to CoAl. SMOD 2016
All the manufacturers are leaving.
My local gun shop is where Mossberg employees got their employee discount.
CoAlex, I’m sure a stoned on painkillers podcast will be a thing.
Thanks Oso! Birthday is on Sunday, but I’m planning to hang out with Gushka and her hubby and Bebe’s Boobs Destroy on Saturday. Maybe go to the range on Sunday with Gushka’s hubby.
Maybe go to the range on Sunday with Gushka’s hubby.
*jealous*
Tell him I said hello.
Mare, google says Eagle Pass, so Mexico.
BCoch,
Will do. Of course, you could always bring the family to California for a vacation. I promise we would only give the wild a blunt sword. At first.
*shudders at the thought*
You’re brave even giving her a blunted weapon.
This from the other day when we were all discussing our tempers and our reactions.
Wild: “Well, when I get really mad, I go in my room and take my softest pillow and just punch it as hard as I can over and over until I’m not mad anymore.”
……*awkward silence*…..
Labrum is greek for implants.
brendacochran81
Pffft. They’re real and they’re spectacular.
High Fat, Low Carb diet and intermittent fasting will take care of that problem.
High Fat, Low Carb diet and intermittent fasting will take care of that problem.
This is America, I am hungry, I can afford food, therefore I will eat what I want when I want.
(Some of that is a lie due to the stupid diabeetus)
I was good but I’ve started eating carbs again in the last two weeks and now I’m back up to a can of Coke a day when I’m on campus. Luckily I’ve been better about the gym.
As much as I’m not looking forward to the surgery, the good news is that the rehab ultimately will have me in the gym again and, hopefully, I can finally actually work out.
Dinner tonight was pulled pork tacos and beer. That is all.
Brent, the fact that she goes and finds a pillow is great. It means that she understands good ways to deal with aggression and stress.
Woke up to people so derp to you
I can’t so I won’t stand up
Chuck break luck
Look for the splinters
You might see where they come in