Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. I didn’t get a chance to put this poat together last night because it was Rocketboy’s birthday. I no longer have a teenage boy in the house, but he still eats like one. But I digress.
This was the funniest moment of the All-Star Break. I laughed when David Wells stopped to take a photo.
Chris in Ghostbusters. Worth seeing?
Another appearance from Tarzan.
And today is Josh’s birthday.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day. Happy birthday to Eddiebear and Teafran!
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Changing Headers since March 2009 
This poat needs more abs.
Good job Roamy.
Roamy!! Niiiiiiice.
Who is writing for the The H2 twitter account?
I was worried about whether I should wear a sport coat to court this morning. Looking around I should get a major award for bathing and wearing pants with closed toe shoes.
Sweet Jesus
When I served on a jury I kept thinking, these people cannot possibly be representative “Of Our Peers.”
Do regular people somehow get out of it more?
I’m sure they do mare. I’ve been called once in my life where I had to serve for a day. When they called me about ten years ago my practice manager called to tell them I was a busy guy serving people’s medical needs. Haven’t heard back from them since
Court? Pro tip. Just tell them the blow was the hooker’s, and not yours, jimbro.
…and that whore was driving, not me!
Witness testimony has been delayed because they’re hearing “emergency petitions” whatever the fuck those are. I think it’s lawyer speak for wheeling and dealing. The hospital lawyer told me they’d hear me first at 0830 and I planned accordingly. My office will be filled with angry people around 1100.
All the other witnesses look like they’ve been to this rodeo before and brought stuff to do while waiting. Rookie mistake.
I’m hoping I’ll be disqualified from the juror pool. Still waiting to hear from them. At least they are doing the selection remotely, you don’t have to go in and sit there all day.
I might need a medical excuse from Jimbro. Surely hanging out here demonstrates some type of sickness….
You are correct, Sir!
Say what you will about the man, Trump’s children seem to love and admire him a great deal. They all turned out pretty well.
The one time I appeared was when I was in college on summer break. I had just completed some military training for ROTC and was looking forward to sun and fun with friends at the beach and working my part time job. During selection when they asked about conflicts for a drunk driving case I told them that since my cousin was a cop I was biased toward a conviction. I was home well before noon.
If you get picked Pepe I’ll type something up and get you sprung
Hemorrhoids?
If you get picked Pepe I’ll type something up and get you sprung
Here’s a note from my doctor in Maine.
Yeah, nothing fishy THERE!
Bacterial vaginosis has rendered this individual unable to serve on a jury.
*inspired by Jay’s FISHY comment
I can see how this would go down. Hostages doctor’s note.
“To whom it may concern;
Please excuse Pepe from Jury Duty. As his physician of many years I attest that he has butt snakes and jakeleg. This will make serving, as well as sitting, on a jury impossible. Dude, totally 100% no bullshit.
Your Buddy,
Dr. ‘Jimbro’ “
Well crap, I need to hit refresh more often
I think jimbro’s real name is Dr. Nick Riviera.
You have slow internet there, laura?
No, just slow brain.
“Yes your Honor, I do believe in a death penalty…yes I understand this is a shoplifting case…yes I understand you were asking if I had trouble judging another…I’m just sayin’, hang ’em all and save the cost of housing ’em…done for the week? Thank you, your Honor…”
I’ll just tell them I need to take my companion animal to reduce stress. I’ll send a pic of a mule. Maybe attach copy of article on recent courthouse shooting and insist on carrying a gun.
99% sure I’d be excused, don’t want to drive 100 miles, find parking, and sit there all day waiting for it.
Wanna be excused? Wear a Trump shirt, A Gadsen Shirt, A 2A shirt. Anything with the word “Freedom”
The last time I had to go at the local courthouse, they sent a dress code. Long sleeve shirt, nothing with slogans, long pants. “You will be held in contempt of court.” When 3 people didn’t show up, Sheriff’s deputies were sent to find them. Judge was not messing around.
I was sposta go over to Pecos for federal grand jury duty last Wednesday. But I was outa state. Hope they don’t throw me in with all the dopers and illegals awaiting deportation.
I asked to postpone once because I had a vacation planned. They said okay and I should expect to get a summons for the next round. Never came.
I was sposta go over to Pecos for federal grand jury duty last Wednesday. But I was outa state. Hope they don’t throw me in with all the dopers and illegals awaiting deportation.
Take a tube of KY.
gary johnson people are gonna unfriend me today on Facedouche.
My garden is almost looking good enough for another update.
Gary Johnson is a fraud. Big-L Libertarians are a joke.
It’s all bullshit.
Comment by Hotspur on July 20, 2016 11:39 am
It’s all bullshit.
—–
I have no idea what Hotspur is talking about but I agree.
*double high fives Mare*
Ok, garden poat.
https://h2gardentalk.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/as-the-garden-grows/
Pfffffttttt….
Comment by Hotspur on July 20, 2016 12:46 pm
Pfffffttttt….
——
I agree again! hahahahahaha
The most impressive thing about the garden thread so far is that metal roof in the background of one of the tomato pics. That’s a damned fine metal roof and I’m jealous bastard.
Carin’s whole house is awesome. ❤ ❤ ❤
I left a question for you over there, Carin.
I really need to get around to my garden poat. Most of the pics I took are outdated now and I should take new ones, though.
I love comparing the old pics to the new ones. Gardens put on a real growth spurt in July.
Mine definitely did. My trellising with twine is barely hanging on in a few places. The tomato plants are just too heavy.
I made a jungle by mistake in one location. The plants appear robustly healthy so far, but it’s going to be a pain getting fruits from in there.
That happened to me last year. What a mess. The year before, Scott did most of the trellising and he saved my toms.
Life is getting more awesome all the time.
https://www.engadget.com/2016/07/19/bratwurst-bot-autonomously-orders-cooks-and-serves-sausage/
$15 an hour!
I love the part about how it is made from on-the-shelf items.
We can soon replace unhappy un- or low-skilled workers with some schematics and a trip to Home Depot.
And they won’t spit/put glass in your food.
Probably won’t need prompting for straws or plasticware.
Will the robot waitresses have cute butts, though?
All is proceeding as I have foreseen:
http://nextbigfuture.com/2016/07/pokemon-go-is-getting-chat-application.html
Comment by leoncaruthers on July 20, 2016 3:19 pm
Will the robot waitresses have cute butts, though?
Hoover already has a contract for the oral-sex coffeehouses.
There’s already a pokedate application. It’s called Tinder.
Will pokedate be more skeezy or less skeezy than Tinder?
Combine an anime convention game room with bronies. That’s your dating pool with pokedate.
ixnay onnay ethay onybray arksnay
http://thefederalist.com/2016/07/20/when-the-zombies-attack-enlightened-males-will-be-the-first-to-fall/
I killed it.
*has poat stuffed and mounted*
*slaps the shit out of all the giggling retards*
I take solace in the fact that the “enlightened males” will perish first.
heh, watch the Daily Show vid at AOS. There’s some enlightened males for you. Joel Pollak got them good.
Couple other angles, and Pollak’s side of it here:
http://www.breitbart.com/california/2016/07/20/the-daily-show-gays-for-trump-breitbart-news/
I’m eating some wasabi peas. The taste sensation goes from pleasurable taste to sinus pain in the ice cream headache zone. Yet I continue eating them from my little serving cup.
Anniversary of first moonwalk.
Annual reminder that no human has been on the moon since before I was born.
Jay, have you ever done a bread recipe with scalded flour? I’m reading about it now and it seems like the way to go for soft dinner rolls.
If you indeed scald your flour, do not be at all surprised if the Processed Grain Department of Managing Everything comes knocking on your door to take away your flour.
Moon landings were a scam.
Nuh nuh.
Mmm…wasabi nose burn.
Heh. Moonwalk v Moonwalking. Roamy, do we have any astronauts named Michael Jackson?
Neighbor got a new puppy, its a
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catahoula_Cur / Great Dane mix.
She’s cute, Nessie the Wonder Dog has been on her good behaviour so they are making friends. In this shot, the neighbor cat wandered into visual range.
https://is.gd/o2nBVz
FB is being wonky today. Heather Radish had Zuckerberg report her FB page to the Stasi.
Cool dog, I’ve never heard of that breed. Hope she and Nessie become fast friends
Yeah, Nessie decided she wasn’t a threat pretty early, but she bullies the puppy around which elicits some snaps and growls. I’d never heard of a Catahoula either, she’s really laid back with pretty leopard spots.
https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2016/07/robert-farago/breaking-massachusetts-attorney-general-bans-new-ar-15-sales/
Great…
How is that remotely legal or warranted?
Stupid and evil are relentless.
Cruz is an idiot if he doesn’t support Trump.
Lilikoi Kepolo clone (Passion Fruit)
This one is flat, damn. But the flavor is great! I can live with flat. maybe I just got a bad bottle. I’ll let it condition for another week.
I have not done scalded flour.
Your moms Indian name is Scalded Flour.
Man, Cruz still makes my panties fly crazy around the room.
I’m still Cruzing, but dude.
I thought we had locusts.
According to a rumor I just read, someone’s writing a crossover comic wherein Jack Burton will team up with Snake Plissken.
*attempts to pre-order on Amazon*
Eff them all. Cruz included. Holy shit Cruz this isn’t about your shit political career. It’s about the nation. F it all. I’m sure they made a deal, I screwed your Dad, you don’t have to mention my name. But FFS, we have to win this.
Yeah, he should have man’d-up.
I wish the NeverTrumpers and the ProTrumpers would take a breather from being at each others’ necks all fucking week. This election is nothing to lose friends over.
Frankly, the attacks on NeverTrumpers reek of desperation and fear, and you’re not going to persuade anybody to consider your case if you call them a retard. Or a ‘cuck.’
On the other side, continually pointing out Trump’s every false step and contradiction to your friends who have decided to vote for him, is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Because yes, they are emotionally invested. If you’re really sitting this one out, then cut the shit and sit it out, already.
Christ, it’s like a bunch of snarling teenagers ripping on each other. I will STOP THIS CAR.
I was really hoping that he was saving it for the end, but alas…
*puts panties back on*
I was a FERVENT Cruz supporter. I’ve never been a #NeverTrump douche, I’ve never been a Trump fan but Cruz (whom I loved) has to stop thinking about his own and think about the nation.
Please Lord Jesus, let Cruz and Trump have made a deal and Cruz will be a SCOTUS for not being forced to mention Trump (who trashed his Dad).
But, hey, us little people are just players in this bullshit game.
Just very sad at the rifts that are developing.
Pumpkin Amber Ale
Backlit for color. Nice flavor on this one!
Never forgive!
NEWT!
I have a family reunion coming up, and I’m really hoping the truce holds. I got into it last year with BIL over the Mississippi flag. He’ll gripe about gun-grabbing but still vote for Hillary.
I know others here have been affected by Obama’s policies. I have certainly been screwed by this administration.
I’m screwed if Hillary wins. I’m over giving shits about the GOP who feel they should be considered. Romney, I’m looking at you. I actually need people in my corner not those working their career.
He’s gonna save Cruz’s bacon.
He just did.
I’m voting how I’m voting. Team Diet DP. ❤️ You guys. Not blocking. Just chillaxing
Holy shit, I want Newt for President and previously I’ve ripped him.
Oso, what does that mean?
Newt is nailing the National Security issue.
Yeah. Real great. Open fire on each other instead of stopping Notorious H R C. That’s the way to a better tomorrow.
Fucking shit.
Fucking sick of the Horde’s infighting on this shit. Funny thing is it’s an inversion of most years, it’s the insiders’ turn to deal with the Did Not Want candidate and do they line up like the rank and file did election after goddamn election? Nope!
Fuck the lot of them. Almost don’t care how this ends now, I just want them all to fucking burn.
Brother Cavil what does that mean?
Cyn ♥’s Newt. I’m sorry he never got a real chance to go all the way.
Cyn, I’m with you, he did that douchy climate thing with Hillary but generally he’s been kick ass.
>>>Fucking sick of the Horde’s infighting on this shit. Funny thing is it’s an inversion of most years…
Ha ha. You can set your presidential election year calendars by the amount of pearl wrenching and in fighting.
Second look at Jill Stein?
Yeah, that Hillary ball-fondling killed his future aspirations. Some discussions on Fox a minute ago that Cruz not endorsing Trump has fucked the rest of his political career, as least as far as the presidency is concerned. I know I won’t forget.
Pence on now… he’s gonna be great. He’s no life insurance policy for Trump like Joey Bumblehead, but I can almost see him taking an active role… wishful thinking maybe.
McCain’s useless ass who quits and won’t speak against Obama? Gotta pull the lever! Romney’s blatantly flawed non-fighting “father of Obamacare” ass? Gotta pull the lever! Someone outside the club who at least bothers to fight and look out for Americans whatever his many other flaws? I caaaaaan’t it’s just too horrrrrible…
Fuck all this. When Hill opens the camps I’m getting a job working the damn ovens. This is literally Too Damn Stupid To Live.
I want Newt as Trump’s Chief of Staff.
I fucking voted for Cruz.
I went to bad for his ass.
Never. Again.
True story:
Newt lifted a burning car off of a pregnant woman.
She wasn’t pregnant before the accident.
NEWT!!!!!!!!!
Pence’s speech is good.
Cyn, we are a hopeful people. Hell, I’m voting for Trump.
Indiana loved Pence.
I just said to my husband,” I love Pence, Rosetta, loved Pence as a Presidential Candidate every time I see Pence I think of Rosetta.”
* not a shameless emotional Trump endorsement
*walks in*
*declares support for Cruz*
*waits for wailing and cursing*
Ha! I’m even re-tweeting Jim Gerharty.
Hell with it, tired and grouchy. Going to discontinue grumbling and call it a night. (Half ready to walk from the HQ, it’s just Getting Old.)
Later, folks.
Too bad Cruz isn’t running for President.
[i]Comment by mare on July 20, 2016 11:00 pm
Too bad Cruz isn’t running for President.[/i]
Right? That would have been useful.
Bcochran I honestly don’t get your point. Cruz (whom I really wanted) Is NOT running for President.
By the way, anyone know who is writing the The H2 Twitter feed?
I was being snarky, mare. I like Cruz and would have far preferred him to the current candidate. (Although Cruz was like my 4th or 5th choice back at the beginning of this clusterfuck)
Bcock, I think we both wanted Cruz and he somewhat proved that tonight.
Ivanka looks really pretty tonight. Wow.
Bcock, we”re on the same sad page. Although in my naïveté I’m getting excited wTching the convention. Yeah, I know I’m a sucker. FFS, I liked Ryan at one point.
i can’t wait to watch Ivanka’s speech tomorrow.
This “Bernie Voter” in Luntz’s Dunces is a professional. He lives for these panels. I can’t prove that, but that’s how he acts.
I can’t wait to continue not watching and play with 4 of my nieces and nephews when they get here tomorrow night.
I’ve caught part of DT Jr, Pence, and I’ll watch Ivanka and think naughty thoughts. That’s about it.
Ivanka is worth naughty thoughts. I will def give you that.
a) Cruz’s speech hit all the right points, but overall… yawn. I love the guy, but he’s been way better.
2) The H2 Twitter account is Andy. I thought he shut it down when we lost Rosetta, but I guess he decided to revive it.
I am so sick of politics these days….
BCochran,
Any chance you and AtC can do drunken live commentary of the DNC? At least one night?
Oh man, CA. Lemme talk to her and see if we can swing that. Not quite sure how I’d do the tech aspect, but we’ll see. Could be entertaining.
On the other side, continually pointing out Trump’s every false step and contradiction to your friends who have decided to vote for him, is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Because yes, they are emotionally invested. If you’re really sitting this one out, then cut the shit and sit it out, already.
Yes THIS. When “conservatives” post/comment the exact same thing as my proggie mother, I know they have “issues.
I’m not emotionally invested, but if you want to try to talk me out of voting for trump, copying the Huffington posts talking points isn’t gonna do it for me.
I listen to Chris Steven’s mom this morning on the radio. CRYING. Crying that we cannot have that LIAR as a president.
Shit- TRump should make that a commercial. And sorry folks, Gary Johnson is Ross Perot this election cycle. He just is. But he’s less popular. He needs a white board or something?
Trump sucks. Clinton sucks. Johnson sucks.
I’m writing in a vote for POTUS. Honestly, the only reason I’m showing up is to vote down ballot. That shit still matters.
Hey CA, what night would you want commentary on?
BC, I don’t know. The DNC doesn’t have a schedule of their speakers up yet, so I don’t know which assholes deserve the most mockery. I’d default to the last night, but I know that listening to that harpy would drive both of you to drink more than is practical, safe, or even humanly possible.
I think it’s possible to do. Think. I’ll play with it and see if AtC is interested.
Whatever works for you. If there’s a speaker that you really want to mock, go for that day.
Ho-lee-shit did you guys listen to Laura Ingrahms speech? To its end? It. Was. fantastic.
I’ve never been her biggest fan, but oh man she so nailed it. It was a thing of beauty.
Did she get naked? Cause otherwise, I don’t care.
Thank you, Wiser.
No, bcochran, she didn’t get naked. However she gave a very good , pro conservative speech. Probably some of the most reactive stuff of the night.
But no nudity. SAD.
I missed Ingraham’s speech; will have to find it tomorrow.
The more I think about it, Pence is going to be running the joint. Think about it: he’s got the experience in the House, the gubernatorial experience–Trump will be the mouthpiece, the showman, the motivator, and he’s good at all of it. We’re going to see a very active Veep, maybe not publicly, but Trump will never be able to navigate the DC shitshow without Pence.
Oh boy, this is gonna be great!
http://www.c-span.org/video/?c4612536/laura-ingraham-calls-former-gop-candidates-support-donald-trump
SeanM probably behind the H2 Tweet Desk. I seem to remember he had the keys.
Oh boy, this is gonna be great!
hahahahaha.
*drinks more*
wiserbud answered the H2 Twitter question at 11:22. I have the keys, but it’s probably been about two years since I tweeted anything from there.
Baby tonight belongs to us
Every thing’s right, do what you must
And derp by derp we get closer and closer
To every little part of each other ooh baby, yeah