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We are so emulsified

That was some great sax work near the end. Released in 1961 and played on the “Chitlin’ Circuit“. Some of you hosefockers were probably conceived with this song playing in the background (on a 45 record that lasted 2:34 … yeah).

Nod to our neighbors to the north (do we have any Canadian lurkers?) My student right now is from Manitoba. Smart kid.

canadian-csi

Not sure if this is really true. If it was I would have learned it in school, right?

demotivation-us_life-is-like-a-bowl-of-soup-you-only-get-blown-if-you-are-hot_135127193140

You know what I never see around much anymore? Deviled ham or even ham salad sandwiches for that matter. I bet they were listening to “Emulsified” on their way to the picnic.

1952_underwood

*

*

*

My internet service crapped out right after I got the deviled ham ad up. Back to the Stone Age of typing on my iPad using cellular data. Publishing a post using the WordPress app or regular site on an iPad is possible. Just not easy or fun.  Anyway, in light of my connection problems and with consideration of my paying job, I leave you with a knock knock joke containing a possible solution to our 2016 woes.
*
*
*
*
Knock Knock
*
Who’s There?
*
Do U Want 2 Cd’s
*
Do U Want 2 Cd’s Who?
*

Do U Want 2 C Deez Nutz

{*’s because wordpuss app doesn’t save spaces and all the paragraphs clump together}

 

 

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July 21, 2016
Categories: Your mom likes this . Tags:black-eyed peas, chitlins, greens, grits, Hambone, pickled pig's feet . Author: Jimbro

236 Comments

  1. Comment by Pupster on July 21, 2016 7:04 am

    America needs options.

    https://is.gd/HLKrTY

  2. Comment by Pupster on July 21, 2016 7:07 am

    Pupster Family Theater

    *boy1 stumbles into Pupster in the hallway, carrying 2 lit candles*

    Boy1- Is the power out?

    Pup- …no, I was just wanted to see what it was like to take a shower by candle light. It’s very soothing.

    -fin

  3. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 7:26 am

    what’s with the asterisks?

  4. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 7:27 am

    heat index of 115 today, better wear deodorant.

  5. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 7:28 am

    mares up! everyone straighten up!

  6. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 7:36 am

    I used to take showers with the lights off, but it creeped my wife out too much.

  7. Comment by Jimbro on July 21, 2016 7:43 am

    A lot of movies show women taking baths with candles lit around them. If you see flower petals you know there’s going to be some romance. If she’s home alone and on the telephone you know there’s going to be some slasher type that shows up real soon. Don’t often see the shower by candlelight depicted in popular culture. I think you’re ahead of the curve.

  8. Comment by Car in on July 21, 2016 7:55 am

    wakey wakey.

    First day of vacation and the kids are already figthing.

  9. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 8:21 am

    Good morning!

  10. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 8:23 am

    The Pupsters had sexy time?

    Niiiiice.

  11. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 8:32 am

    I’m still trying to figure out how people have second children.

  12. Comment by Tex Lovera on July 21, 2016 8:58 am

    I remember eating Underwood Deviled Ham sandwiches that Mom packed us for school lunches when I was a very little kid.

    Funny the stuff I ate when I was a kid.

    Heat index of 115 or so today. Hell, that was playing outside weather in South Texas 50 years ago…

  13. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 9:01 am

    I LOVED getting sandwiches with Deviled ham for school lunch!

  14. Comment by lclintsp on July 21, 2016 9:17 am

    Me too, Mare. Still do.

  15. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 9:30 am

    Did Cruz go full ‘sperg last night or is it just me?

    I hate this century.

  16. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 9:33 am

    He’d make a fantastic SCOTUS pick. Perfect environment for him.

  17. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 10:08 am

    I haven’t watched or listened to a single minute of the convention. I’m being very careful to change radio stations as soon as it comes up.

  18. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:08 am

    Too bad it will be Hillary making that pick. Everyone is staying home, after all.

    Democrats don’t have that problem.

  19. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:10 am

    Pence’s speech was good, so was Newt’s. Newt is being a peacemaker, interesting role for him.

    I don’t think Cruz’s speech was that divisive at the end. He just didn’t endorse. He didn’t downplay him, either. But it’s a convention, and it’s rah rah time. He had to endorse with the speech. He’s just being clever again. Got him into trouble in campaign season too.

    A leopard doesn’t change his spots.

  20. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 10:17 am

    I’m still trying to figure out how people have second children.

    Just do what comes naturally.

  21. Comment by terribletroy on July 21, 2016 10:17 am

    Effng “Stress Test” today for my heart. (The sumbitch has decided to go rogue on me) Testing starts at 11. If I have it right, first inject with some radioactive dye (which if I remember correctly, the RN will say “Now this is going to feel like your private region gets heated up a little bit”. Translated this means “your asshole is going to feel like its on fire’) then some kinda imaging. Then onto the tread mill, go til you puke, and then more images. No coffee or food this morn, not supposed to drink anything 4 hrs before (WTF? I get to be dehydrated?) and of course today is the day for it to be “Africa Hot”. We’re at some insane level of humidity and index is to be over 100. My son is out working in the fields today. Im proud of the Lad, first summer working for realzies, out in the heat, and he requires no morning motivation or oversight, he gets up and goes.

    Cruz is a dick and he needs to become a televangelist.

  22. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:19 am

    Heh, headline is all about the protest. But actually someone was on fire, trying to light a flag on fire, and the police saved the person. I’m sure it’s all about the evil police:

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/07/20/protesters-arrested-at-flag-burning-outside-gop-convention-officers-injured.html

    Should have let them burn.

  23. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 10:29 am

    Just do what comes naturally.

    Possum’s dysfunctional relationship with sleep is making it difficult. Mine was bad at her age too, which might be why my sister wasn’t conceived until I was almost 2.

  24. Comment by pendejogrande on July 21, 2016 11:34 am

    TT, I’m struggling through my DOT physical right now. Not as much suck as a stress test but still a dose of suck.

  25. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 11:40 am

    Heh, Poor little MSNBC flowers

    I wonder if they will have a segment on the buttons sold at the DNC. I’m sure it will be sunshine and lollipops, concerning Trump/Drumpf/Donald/Melania/Ivanka.

  26. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 11:58 am

    ‘Sup, people?

  27. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:03 pm

    I find it incredibly telling that suggesting that people “vote their conscience” drives so many Trumpkins even more insane than usual.

  28. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 12:05 pm

    If your conscience tells you to vote for Hillary, you don’t have one.

  29. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 12:05 pm

    What Wiserbud said.

  30. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:06 pm

    These are the people who demand me to unite with them.

    http://hotair.com/headlines/archives/2016/07/21/cruzs-wife-father-had-to-leave-the-convention-last-night-for-their-own-safety/

    No.

  31. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:07 pm

    “demand that I”

    /hotspur

  32. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:08 pm

    >>>If your conscience tells you to vote for Hillary, you don’t have one.

    Not voting for Trump is not voting for Hillary.

  33. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 12:10 pm

    I find it incredibly telling that suggesting that people “vote their conscience” drives so many Trumpkins even more insane than usual.

    I find it equally enlightening many of those same voices were telling us to line up and vote for the milquetoast in previous years.

    Suddenly switching to “vote your conscience” instead of insisting on “party unity” reeks of sour grapes. May be legit, maybe not, but it’s hard to tell right now.

  34. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 12:11 pm

    Doesn’t change the factual nature of my statement.

    Voting for Gary Johnson, however, is voting for Hillary. He’s just Hillary in drag with a bag of weed.

  35. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 12:13 pm

    Fear, desperation, emotional frenzy, willingness to harm innocents to satisfy an overweening sense of righteousness. This is looking more like a South American election all the time. Isn’t this great? Good times. I love this.

  36. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:15 pm

    Actually, it looks to me that the establishment are the ones that are telling us to get in line behind Trump after fighting against him for so long.

    Chris Christie comes to mind. He was a big “fight the establishment” guy until he wasn’t, who then fell in line behind the “outsider” Trump who is now getting the full support of the RNC, thanks the Reince.

    I give Cruz credit. He may be taking the slings and arrows today for not endorsing the guy who attached his wife’s looks and attempted to smear his father, but he would have looked even worse had he endorsed him.

  37. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:16 pm

    In CT, it matters not at all who I vote for.

  38. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 12:21 pm

    This is also my mantra, Wiser. It doesn’t matter what I do. The Blue Machine will do what it wills.

  39. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 12:22 pm

    The establishment GOP really needed unanimity in endorsing to spread the blame for this shit show after they nominated a fucking con man Hillary donor for President.

    Then along comes Ted Cruz to be the turd in the punchbowl, again, to hold a mirror up to their faces. Couldn’t be happier, myself.

  40. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 12:23 pm

    Yep. My vote doesn’t matter at all here in the People’s Republic of MA. I’m writing in SMOD.

  41. Comment by terribletroy on July 21, 2016 12:23 pm

    Vote my conscience? Ok, I vote we kill them all. There is not a truly honorable one in the whole lot.

    Stuck in a waiting room….

  42. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 12:24 pm

    I will admit, the establishment folk do seem to have adapted to Trump far better than expected, which gives me pause. Is this a sign they’re turning him? Sinking him? Falling in line from self-preservation? (I suspect the third.)

    I voted Cruz in the primaries. I was not entirely impressed by the end of the speech last night. However: I have also said for some time we need to strip out the good people in the GOP who were there by default and start anew using them as the core of a new organization. If he chooses to bolt the GOP fold and start building said party, it will strengthen the argument that it was principle in my mind.

  43. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 12:27 pm

    Yeah, I’ma vote straight R ticket for the local stuff then write in “Extinction-Level Meteor Impact” for Prezzie.

    Living in a monolithic blue state with few electoral votes is freeing, in a way. We see almost zero political ads, for another thing.

  44. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 12:31 pm

    Ugh! We get the ads target for southern NH here. No escape.

  45. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:34 pm

    I am not looking forward to going to work at the store after Cruz’s speech. Owner is a rabid Trumpster. He believes that every single thing Trump does is exactly the smartest thing ever done by anyone who has ever run for Presidrnt and he will likely win 50 states.

    Every time he starts, I just roll my eyes and shrug.

    He knows I was a Cruz supporter. He will likely go crazy on me for how Cruz so horribly attacked Trump and stabbed him in the back.

  46. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 12:36 pm

    Hmm, UConn maybe to the Big 12? Interesting.

  47. Comment by Andy on July 21, 2016 12:38 pm

    It’s going to be awesome when Cruz is blamed for Trump’s landslide loss.

  48. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:39 pm

    >>>Hmm, UConn maybe to the Big 12? Interesting.

    Well, time to give the coaches a couple of million dollars in raises!

  49. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 12:40 pm

    Heh, true Andy!

  50. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 12:41 pm

    I’ll vote for Trump and hope for President Pence.

    Hope & Pence.

  51. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 12:43 pm

    Hope and pence.

    Pence is pennies. Pennies are change. HOPE AND CHANGE.

    ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

  52. Comment by lclintsp on July 21, 2016 12:44 pm

    I fully expect it to be a Hillary landslide despite the lowest voter turnout in modern times.

  53. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 12:47 pm

    Why dieting is hard

  54. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 12:48 pm

    >>>It’s going to be awesome when Cruz is blamed for Trump’s landslide loss.

    Remember when Trump said he didn’t need us to win?

    Ok. I’ll accept that challenge.

  55. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 12:57 pm

    You guys never fail to underestimate the stupidity of the public.

    Bacon sandwich wrapped in fried chicken? Instant winner.

    Dude in a dress just being a dude in a dress? Hero worship.

    Dumb game with light up lights that light up? Pop culture phenom.

    Hillary or Trump? Orange crush is the likely winner.

  56. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 1:02 pm

    I never really believe that, MJ. But then I remember Obama was REelected in 2012.

    I should listen to you.

  57. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:07 pm

    Pokemon Go talk at the office again. 30 minutes so far.

  58. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:07 pm

    Hillary is trying to embrace her biggest fault:

    No, not the lying, cheating, untrustworthy, bad fashion choices, woman hating, racist, lying, greedy, lying, money grubbing, sell out, rape apologist, lying, insular, detached, narcissist, old lady cankles, alcoholic, lying.

    Her experience. She’s actually going to run on being qualified, as if that matters to anyone.

  59. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:10 pm

    Professionals. College educated. Advanced degrees. STEM.

    Pokemon.

  60. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:10 pm

    Credible and genuine wins. One of two loses.

    Gore? Credible, not genuine. Bush? Both.

    McCain? Genuine, not credible. Obama? Both.

    Romney? Credible, not genuine. Obama? Both.

    Hillary? Credible not genuine. Trump? Genuine possibly credible.

    I think Trump has some upswing whereas granny gin breath does not.

  61. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:10 pm

    OHTHANKYOUHEAVENTHEYSTOPPED.

  62. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:11 pm

    Some of the dumbest people I know are engineers, Leon.

  63. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:14 pm

    Kerry was neither.

  64. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 1:15 pm

    Anybody want some paste? I brought plenty!

  65. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:20 pm

    Fish stick flavored paste would fly off the shelves.

  66. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:21 pm

    Isn’t that pretty much what the Filet o’ Fish is?

  67. Comment by PepeLp on July 21, 2016 1:27 pm

    You guys are underestimating the absolute devotion of the Press. Trump will do nothing right, old accusations, made up accusations, etc. Hillary can do no wrong, everything will be slanted to favor her. They called the attack in Nice a “truck accident”. When the media went shamelessly full left, it was the nail in the coffin.

  68. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 1:30 pm

    And that’s why I don’t always listen to MJ.

  69. Comment by PepeLp on July 21, 2016 1:31 pm

    Haunches that may be too robust for Leon…

    http://tinyurl.com/jg69dkx

  70. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:35 pm

    Haunches that may be too robust for Leon…

    Hmm. I like a challenge.

    *clicks through*
    *hears choir singing*
    *single tear falls*

    It’s… beautiful.

  71. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 1:40 pm

    I’m getting a kick out of Rush’s descriptions of past conventions where there were actual fist fights on the floor. And several primary/speaker candidates who did not endorse the nominee.

  72. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 1:52 pm

    The VP used to be the losing opponent.

  73. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 1:53 pm

    I think it would be awesome if Cruz ended up as the never trump candidate.

    I read somewhere that they’re hoping to have someone in a few weeks.

  74. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 1:58 pm

    The VP used to be the losing opponent.

    This was intended to reduce partisanship. Unfortunately, it also meant the assassin had a veto on the election. See also: Booth, John W.

  75. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 2:04 pm

    I don’t read ace’s site like I used to but I’d be sad to see him go.

    He’s a gifted writer and personality although I agree it might be time to close it up.

    I hope he’s as successful at whatever else he pursues–and can remain as funny. Dude is seriously hilarious.

  76. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 2:09 pm

    Is Ace a practicing lawyer?

  77. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 2:12 pm

    I really can’t say this enough: news cycles.

    Since the Trump/Cruz deal no one gives a crap about Melania. It will be something else tomorrow.

    You just have to keep praying and remember, tomorrow is another day and you never know what’s going to happen.

  78. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 2:14 pm

    Ace should come here and talk gardening, diet, and fitness with us. I think it would help him relax. Plus I think he’ll like Fridays.

  79. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 2:16 pm

    Ace could be in charge of the diet aspect of this blog. His diet posts are great. Seriously.

  80. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 2:18 pm

    I should go home early so I can find funny gifs for BBF.

  81. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 2:36 pm

    I’d like to recommend him some books, Mare. I think he might enjoy Phinney and Volek’s books.

  82. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 2:44 pm

    Yannow, I’m old enough to remember that when you dropped $800 on a washing machine, it lasted more than 4 goddamned years….

    Repair guy says it will only cost $750 to repair. To last another 4 years.

  83. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 2:48 pm

    Yikes, Wiser.

  84. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 2:52 pm

    Fucking Kenmore POS

  85. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 2:58 pm

    Kenmore is just a brand now. Chinese manufacturer for most appliances, plus all the energy-efficient crappie makes them less reliable. Our AM station has an appliance show on Saturdays that’s pretty good, and he rails on modern shifty appliances a lot.

  86. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 2:59 pm

    Phone fucked up all my swearing and not quite swearing.

  87. Comment by Jimbro on July 21, 2016 3:00 pm

    We have a fancy LG top loader to replace a Maytag that was at least 12 years old. It runs fine but I just noticed the soap dispenser is clogged or something and the water in there smelled like mildew. Hopefully I can find some on line tips and avoid the repair call.

  88. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 3:04 pm

    When we sell new appliances we tell our customers that the days of expecting to get good performance from a washing machine (or range, or fridge…) for 15-20 years are done-zoh. They are built to be replaced at about twice the rate that people renovate their kitchens.

    And these $900 Samsungs that look like spaceships are basically shinyshinycrap. The flat panel ooohhh shinyshinybuttons on them break with breathtaking speed, lol.

    Remember your old washer with big clunky knobs and a big old agitator paddle in the middle? Yeah, that ugly thing is what nobody wants but that is what still works the best over time.

    I had a young couple keep going back to a machine I told them straightout was crap, over and over again, and finally buy it, because it was shinyshinyprettier than the one that was what they really needed. Some people need their laundry room to be cutting edge pretty.

    Whatevs. Must be nice.

    I will say though, the new ‘black stainless’ appliance finishes are gorgeous.

  89. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 3:04 pm

    Kenmore used be awesome. Looking to unload a stand-alone full sized freezer that lasted 40 years before giving up the ghost. (May instead see if someone can get it working again!)

  90. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 3:09 pm

    Our last one lasted 30+ years.

    This one barely got dust on it.

  91. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 3:12 pm

    >>>Kenmore used be awesome.

    That’s why we bought this one. It even great reviews on-line.

    Next one will be coming from Craig’s List.

  92. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:16 pm

    Case is falling off mine, but it still works. Replaced the agitator washer twice, too.

    Makes noise, but it works. 20 years old.

  93. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:16 pm

    And it’s a kenmore/whirlpool.

  94. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:16 pm

    I like the black stainless too. But my place already had a dishwasher, oven and microwave that had traditional stainless so my fridge had to match.

    I wanted a top loader and researched the crap out of it. Went to 4 different stores (for pricing), one store about 5 times ( to look and think). On the day I went to buy it I was compelled to stick my arm in and then realized I’d need a step stool to reach my clothes at the bottom and I’m not that short. 5’6″ Had to choose another rather quickly, front loader which I didn’t care about but my husband like the matching dryer which had the steam deal and we actually use it to get out wrinkles.

  95. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:17 pm

    I get wrinkles out by hanging it in the shower while I get ready.

  96. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 3:18 pm

    Professionals. College educated. Advanced degrees. STEM.

    Pokemon.

    You don’t have time for Pokemon, what with having sex with real life girls and all that.

  97. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:19 pm

    We bought our fridge and washer/dryer right around Thanksgiving and got the best prices I’ve seen on them. For some reason I can’t remember if it was Lowes or Home Depot.

  98. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:21 pm

    We have a frameless shower unless I want to install a pole across our bathroom that won’t work.

  99. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 3:23 pm

    I think I am far enough along that I can’t jinx it now…

    Just got off the phone with Future Bossman’s business manager. Offered me a salary roughly 12% higher to work from home on the stuff I’m genuinely interested in, contingent on getting my access turned back on and approval from the customer (which will initially be my former employer, whom I left on very good terms).

    I feel like Robust Haunches Girl just sat on my lap and offered me a whiskey and soda.

  100. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:25 pm

    Very happy for you, Leon.

  101. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 3:29 pm

    GO LEON!!! Booyah!

  102. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 3:32 pm

    Good for you, Leon.

  103. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:33 pm

    Congrats, leon!

  104. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:34 pm

    Hang it on the shower door, mare.

  105. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:35 pm

    Why, James? I have a dryer that I love that does the job beautifully and I can see out my shower.

  106. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:36 pm

    Pro tip:

    Don’t look INTO my shower while I’m showering.

    *shudders*

  107. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:36 pm

    Get me a job, leon!

  108. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 3:37 pm

    Because I’m lazy, and I don’t want to walk downstairs, mare.

    Plus I forgot to iron, again.

  109. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 3:39 pm

    hahaha…Gotcha, Jay.

    I hate ironing….hence my husband’s “surprising” decision to give his opinion on which washer or dryer we should buy.

  110. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 3:41 pm

    Woot leon!

  111. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 3:50 pm

    Washing machine?

    Oh, you mean wife.

  112. Comment by Jimbro on July 21, 2016 3:54 pm

    Awesome news, hope it all comes to pass!

  113. Comment by Jimbro on July 21, 2016 3:55 pm

    Wait? The Sandwich Machine should also do laundry?

  114. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:00 pm

    Me too.

  115. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 4:02 pm

    https://is.gd/Wmyban

  116. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 4:02 pm

    Congrats Leon

  117. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:05 pm

    Laura, there’s a lot of anecdote to back that one. “Time under tension” is the mantra of the calisthenics community. Gymnasts rarely lift weights other than themselves, and it’s not like they’re weaklings.

  118. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:10 pm

    “but the dividends on the back side” … “are enormous.”

    Witness the power of careful editing.

  119. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 4:12 pm

    Congrats Leon. When do you think you’ll start looking for another job?

    Tomorrow or Monday?

  120. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:14 pm

    Monday, at the soonest. I want to enjoy the weekend.

  121. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:28 pm

    MJ, yes, I get that I’ve been a blistering malcontent about work for the last two years or so, since my friend got fired and my promotion got postponed and I switched industries and learned that it kinda sucked.

    I’m really hoping that ends soon. I’m sick of me too.

  122. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 4:28 pm

    The body responds to stress and adapts. Whether that is exhaustion through lifting a heavy weight a few times, or lighter weights a lot of times. Figure out which meets your goals.

  123. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 4:33 pm

    I’m not sick of you, buddy.

    I’m happy for you.

  124. Comment by Car in on July 21, 2016 4:39 pm

    I was told the black stainless chips really easy. They’ve had to replace the doors on the floor model several times.

  125. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 4:39 pm

    An early picture of Mare:

    https://is.gd/3zCVC2

  126. Comment by Car in on July 21, 2016 4:40 pm

    I can mention I’m on my way up north because I’ve left a few kids at home.

    Party at my house this weekend most likely.

    Going to the UP.

  127. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 4:46 pm

    Urinary polyps?

  128. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 4:46 pm

    Congrats, leon

  129. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 4:53 pm

    Car in, should Hotspur and I drop in on the house and scare the remainder?

  130. Comment by terribletroy on July 21, 2016 4:59 pm

    Grats Leon.

    The stress test was fun. Not. Couldnt get my heart rate up to where they wanted it using exertion, (said my meds were keeping it down) so they induced it chemically. Headache, nausea, general feeling of shitty. Now to wait on the results.

  131. Comment by PepeLp on July 21, 2016 5:00 pm

    Penelope got a new washer a few years ago. Had to be a front loader. It, combined with the environmentally friendly detergent, doesn’t get clothes clean at all.

  132. Comment by pendejogrande on July 21, 2016 5:02 pm

    Mrs. P frequently reminds me that our maytag fridge is now 27 years old. She is ashamed to not have a new shiny and yet I ware it as a badge of honor.

  133. Comment by pendejogrande on July 21, 2016 5:02 pm

    Wear.

  134. Comment by xbradtc (@xbradtc) on July 21, 2016 5:04 pm

    Where?

  135. Comment by Car in on July 21, 2016 5:07 pm

    Leon if you don’t mind.

    And help yourself to whatever needs harvesting in the garden.

  136. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 5:10 pm

    Possum turns 1 Saturday, so I may or may not be able that evening. Tomorrow night I have to clean the house for my parents can enter it.

  137. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 5:16 pm

    So they can enter, rather. Geeze.

  138. Comment by Brother Cavil on July 21, 2016 5:22 pm

    There wolf. There castle.

  139. Comment by Pupster on July 21, 2016 5:41 pm

    GOD I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

  140. Comment by wiserbud on July 21, 2016 5:49 pm

    >>>>GOD I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH.

    Aaaaaand the 2020 Presidential campaign season has officially begun!

  141. Comment by PepeLp on July 21, 2016 5:52 pm

    Keeping my fingers crossed, Leon.

  142. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 6:43 pm

    Y U h8 me?

  143. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 7:23 pm

    Meatup at Car ins?

  144. Comment by lauraw on July 21, 2016 7:33 pm

    *tosses suitcase in Party Van*

    Ready

  145. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 7:37 pm

    I hope leon knows where the key is, or we’re gonna have to burn part of the deck.

  146. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 7:41 pm

    Moose is going to be sad.

  147. Comment by Pendejo Grande on July 21, 2016 8:03 pm

    Twenty year old son of an employee comes into the office today to see if he can borrow some money off papa. He’s about 5’2″ and 150……..pretty muscled up, but still……5’2″. He’s wearing a tank top and cargo shorts so he can sport his pecs, bis, and tris for all us old folks…….and his full sleeve of tats on down each arm. And some shit that looks like the preamble to the declaration of independence around his neck. I’m guessing it wasn’t. Maybe some TUPAC lyrics or something.

    #1 book keeper, woman about 50 or so, with zero filter, starts wearing his ass out about finding a REAL job one of these days whilst looking like oil field trash. He says and I quote, “Yeah, I’ve heard all that about how in your day nobody but military and white trash got tatted up but it’s different now. I know about six or seven really hot chicks who don’t stand a chance once they see my ink.” Implying that the tats were getting him laid above his pay grade. Did I mention that he’s 5’2″?

    The fucking world has done passed me by.

  148. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 8:06 pm

    I wouldn’t hire him. Short guys have bad attitudes.

  149. Comment by Hotspur on July 21, 2016 8:15 pm

    Implying you’re getting laid, and getting laid are two entirely different things.
    Plus he’s short.

  150. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 8:24 pm

    Short people are the short people of the world.

  151. Comment by Hotspur on July 21, 2016 8:28 pm

    There was a thing in the Navy when you were getting close to the end of your enlistment you start keeping a short timer’s calendar.
    Every time you walk in the barracks, or compartment you holler out SHORT.
    It was funny to see the guys who weren’t even close roll their eyes, and mutter “fuck you.”

  152. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 8:30 pm

    I just had to lift myself up and almost into the washer to get a sock.

  153. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 8:37 pm

    *pushes oso in

  154. Comment by Hotspur on July 21, 2016 8:38 pm

    *closes lid and sets on delicate*

  155. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 8:39 pm

    Actually, those 6-7 are pegging him, since he’s so short.

  156. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 8:41 pm

    It’s been about 3 or 4 months since I’ve put up a comment at AoS.

    I’ve been banned!

    Probably shouldn’t have been a sanctimonious prick and told him the site is kind of lackluster.

    I had no idea he actually read the comments. Whoops.

  157. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 9:05 pm

    Dan thinks it’s funny that Pups pushed me in the washer and HS set the cycle.

  158. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 9:06 pm

    Ace put up a health post after Mare complimented him on his diet posts?

  159. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 9:13 pm

    I found his health post lackluster.

  160. Comment by Pupster on July 21, 2016 9:28 pm

    I did no such.

  161. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 9:31 pm

    I GOT AWAY WITH IT!

  162. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 9:32 pm

    MJ banned? nice!

  163. Comment by Pupster on July 21, 2016 9:35 pm

    Does coffee not count as fasting? I can go 12 hours every day without eating but not without coffee.

    https://is.gd/fnB8n2

  164. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 9:37 pm

    YES!

  165. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 9:38 pm

    *bans MJ from H2

    *cackles like Hillary

  166. Comment by Tushar on July 21, 2016 9:40 pm

    Women’s Diving 0.3m Springboard!OH!degree of difficult is 3.0!

  167. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 9:40 pm

    *grabs a bucket of water

  168. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 9:49 pm

    Saw Hillary’s America. Great job on the history of the Dem party.

    He also rammed it home what a scumbag Hillary and Bill are using their own words.

    Great patriotic ending.

  169. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 9:50 pm

    Did not know the extent of their open thievery concerning Haiti and the Clinton Foundation.

  170. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 9:56 pm

    I got inspired just reading Ace’s Health Post….haven’t even hit the comments yet. And, wow, Ace is kicking butt.

  171. Comment by Pendejo Grande on July 21, 2016 10:08 pm

    We have before us a choice. We can either elect the Godmother of an international crime syndicate masquerading as a global charity to lead the nation. Or we can elect a con-man who has built a giant real estate empire through fucking other people in the ass.

    At least the con-man hasn’t blamed any of his shit on a youtube video yet, so that’s where I’m prolly gonna place my vote.

    Also, Hillary is a cunt.

  172. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:21 pm

    MJ, don’t fall in the bucket. Your picture is on the side, after all.

  173. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 21, 2016 10:27 pm

    If you picked three days before “I had a BM” was discovered, you win.

    She sounded like a chicken squawking, it was funny as hell.

  174. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:28 pm

    Haha, nicely done roamy!

  175. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 10:28 pm

    Dan: OMG he has Buckeye hands. (Noticing for the first time the creepy doll baby hands of the Trumpster)

  176. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:28 pm

    Trump, or bottom of the 9th, tied Cardinals game.

    Hmmm.

  177. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 10:30 pm

    Trump’s hands look like one of those skits where someone stands behind you and uses their arms in place of yours.

  178. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 10:30 pm

    Watching the Trumpster Dumbster!

  179. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:30 pm

    At least he’s not reading everything from the prompter. Better than someone else I can think of.

  180. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:31 pm

    Compare this to Pence last night.

    Or Newt.

  181. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:32 pm

    Bases loaded, 1 out, 5-5.

  182. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 10:33 pm

    Mi familia has little hands. Both sides.Guys at work used to call me “Man Hands”. My hand is the size of Dan’s palm. I did do the hand check to Roamy “Johnny Bench” Fire Hydrant

  183. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:35 pm

    Ok, back to Trump after a CARDS WIN!

  184. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 10:37 pm

    You go and see Hillary’s America and you won’t care that Trump is a total___________________ (fill in the blank).

  185. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 10:42 pm

    I am totes H8N Hillary’s America. Release date moved to Monday. Original date was 7/26. POS wasn’t communicated with, and I had to pull the book. Members are asking for it.

  186. Comment by Jay in Ames on July 21, 2016 10:43 pm

    did we have some disruptors?

  187. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 21, 2016 10:59 pm

    Not watching the convention.

    Baseball channel is static, so I’m watching Hogan’s Heroes.

  188. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 11:01 pm

    I’m pretty sure I want to see more of Ivanka.

  189. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:03 pm

    Watching the convention. LIV Dan has watched every night with me. Told me that he will not watch the DNC. I will have to watch the DNC in the bedroom. By myself. He H8s Hillary.

  190. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:04 pm

    Dan loves Ivanka.

  191. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:05 pm

    When Eric called her a princess, Dan laughed.

  192. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:05 pm

    I’m pretty sure I want to see more of Ivanka.

  193. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 11:06 pm

    Ivanka see more.

  194. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:06 pm

    He bets she has a better tiara than I do

  195. Comment by Tushar on July 21, 2016 11:08 pm

    When you have to choose between two assholes, choose the one who stinks less.

    Trump it is.

  196. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 11:08 pm

    Dog asleep. Wife asleep.

    Trump doing lines of orange blow with a panda bear on top of a 30 foot wall.

  197. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 11:10 pm

    These events would be much better if ‘wrap it up’ music from the Oscars started after 2 mins.

  198. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 11:11 pm

    I’d vote for PT Barnum over FDR. This one’ll be easy.

    Easier than McCain, at any rate.

  199. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:12 pm

    When that fat boobed skank, Meghan McCain said something to the effect that Ivanka “acted like royalty” her envy of a classy, beautiful, poised, articulate woman was showing.* Plus has there been a more “raised above their abilities political daughter” than Meghan McCain (and Chelsea Clinton)?

    *I know that Ivanka is probably a dem and is all about getting Dad elected but, really, I’m not exactly sure I care

  200. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 11:14 pm

    Her tiara probably didn’t come from Disney or a truck stop.
    Just a hunch.

  201. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 11:15 pm

    Okay, I think I’m ready to half-ass a BBF poat.

  202. Comment by MJ on July 21, 2016 11:15 pm

    I’m not really into blondes but I’d like to spend a few minutes talking to Ivanka about international travel.

  203. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:15 pm

    For some reason, I often think about the seething resentment from the McCain, Romney, etc., crowd. Especially the wives.

  204. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:16 pm

    I’m so pissed I can’t watch the DNC next week

  205. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:17 pm

    I will say this, Trump saying Obama was an idiot for putting Clinton in charge of American foreign policy was a master stroke.

  206. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:17 pm

    I need a better tiara.

  207. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:18 pm

    Mare, you need a tiara.

  208. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 11:18 pm

    Ivanka should put out a line of tiaras.

  209. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:19 pm

    Ace is effing brilliant sometimes.

    Erick Erickson ‏@EWErickson 18m18 minutes ago
    Trump’s speech sounded better in the original German.

    The Dishonorable DJT ‏@AceofSpadesHQ 26s26 seconds ago
    Your criticisms sound better in the original Coastal Liberal. @EWErickson

  210. Comment by scott on July 21, 2016 11:21 pm

    One with air conditioning.

  211. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:23 pm

    She should!!! Eric said she never had a problem being the princess.

  212. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:25 pm

    Oso, I meet your tiara and raise you a scepter.

  213. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:27 pm

    You have a scepter?

  214. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:29 pm

    Based on twitter you’d think Trump was too negative, I disagree. I think he had to show how shit flowed downhill since Obama took office and how Hillary would be more of the same.

    He appealed to those of us who have grievances and want them acknowledged and obviously changed.

  215. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:29 pm

    I’m on craigslist right now looking for one.

  216. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 21, 2016 11:34 pm

    Most girls these days have scepters, don’t they?

    Sorry, “massagers”.

  217. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:37 pm

    Alright Now….nice touch.

  218. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:39 pm

    I have a $20 story for you about getting my car serviced and what the front desk guy said to a customer. Maybe tomorrow.

  219. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 11:40 pm

    “serviced”

  220. Comment by Colorado Alex on July 21, 2016 11:42 pm

    Now they’re playing “You can’t always get what you want” which I find hilarious.

  221. Comment by mare on July 21, 2016 11:43 pm

    Also, remember what I said about “news cycles” this is a perfect example of that.

    Oops prep

  222. Comment by osoloco11 on July 21, 2016 11:46 pm

    I need a better tiara. Trying to design a sceptor. Needs a baseball

  223. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 22, 2016 12:02 am

    BBF @7am sharp. G’night.

  224. Comment by Sean M. on July 22, 2016 4:09 am

    Ever take a minute just to show a real emotion
    In between the moisture cream & velvet facial lotion?
    Ever tell your kids you’re glad that they can think?
    Ever say you loved ’em? Ever let ’em watch you drink?
    Ever wonder why your daughter looked so sad?
    It’s such a derp to have to love a plastic Mom & Dad

  225. Comment by Jimbro on July 22, 2016 6:00 am

    Trigger thumb
    Busted ankle
    Radial neck fracture
    Home
    Beer
    Vacation #2, 2016

  226. Comment by Jimbro on July 22, 2016 6:06 am

    Totally missed the convention coverage other than you guys. I watched the Sox beat the Twins. Their pitching sucks but they’re hitting incredibly well. Who knows how far they’ll go in the playoffs but it’s been fun watching David Ortiz’s final year.

  227. Comment by Jimbro on July 22, 2016 6:07 am

    Workie workie

  228. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 22, 2016 6:28 am

    Mini-me had trigger thumb when she was 3. I got pretty paranoid at the hospital the day of surgery because there were 7 other kids having surgery, and they were all having tubes put in their ears. I also wrote “NO” on her good hand.

  229. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 6:51 am

    I got inspired just reading Ace’s Health Post….haven’t even hit the comments yet.

    Me too! I gained some weight the last couple years. Not watching carbs, sitting on my butt at school all day + studying at home, drinking too much, etc.

    I haven’t had any alcohol for a couple weeks and I’m thinking this should be permanent. Especially since I’m going into my last (most important) year of school and a new career. And I need to clean up my diet. I don’t have the hummingbird metabolism anymore but I’m still eating like I do.

    Also need to clear out our cluttered computer room and put my bike stand up here.

  230. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:08 am

    Time for another health convulsion.

    I read the intermittent fasting post to Scott while we were on the road a couple weeks ago, and he said “That’s what I do! And you’re always nagging me about when was the last time I ate!”

    It’s true. He’s not on any IF ‘diet,’ but he naturally goes long hours, sometimes a whole day, without eating. He’s always been this way and I just figured it was a terrible thing for him to only eat one meal in a day. How can he be getting all the nutrition he needs?

    Well, he’s probably not, but that’s another whole different issue. Anyway, he’s thin and his weight has remained nearly static for all the time I’ve known him.

  231. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:11 am

    Want to see if I can make it until noon before eating today.

  232. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:15 am

    Don’t think I’m gonna make it

  233. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:26 am

    *walks around banging pots and pans together*

    Up! Up! Up and at ’em! Let’s go, people!

    *trumpet practice*

  234. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:28 am

    Here’s the thing; not sure one is supposed to go straight from grilled sourdough pizza last night, to intermittent fasting. I read somewhere in one of those posts that you’re supposed to start low-carbing first.

    Is that true? Leon?

    *invites marching band to march through the poat*

  235. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:29 am

    *starts stuffing large fireworks under poat & tying fuses together*

  236. Comment by lauraw on July 22, 2016 7:32 am

    *slowly opens seventeen crinkly candy wrappers*

    *puts the wrappers on the floor and does jumping jacks on them*


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