*
Motherfocker brings the pain!
*
My homey DJ Burpsalot spins sick records when the bitches show up.
*
Navy Joe loves the ladies, not the land.
*
And there you go. HHD. You’re welcome.
Update:
June 6, 2012
Categories: bacon, fucking genius, Hosefuckers, Merry Christmas . . Author: MJ (grease gun)
216 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
March 3, 2021
Our government is a giant shitball of incompetents, liars and fascist pricks.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009
Those tats aren’t gonna look very good in a few years. Yikes!
cuuuuute!
HAHAHA! Well done, my man. Well done.
MJ was an adorable baby!
The gang at MSNBC could learn a thing or two about maturity from MJ’s crew.
Sorry Gabe.
Just about done with my chores and my workout is complete. Yay me!
Bhahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahah – DEEP BREATH – ahahahahhahahaha!
suck it union assh0les
Well, as least babies are less ghey than the normal HHD.
*pokes poat with a stick*
Damnit, a-dog.
It’s almost 4:00. Where are the 200,000 misplaced ballots for Barrett?
Me too Chief. Ran 5 miles in 46 mins, which is good considering I haven’t been running much.
Damnit, a-dog.
Would you want to get poked with a stick? I can’t help it if you don’t hit refresh often enough….
Where are the 200,000 misplaced ballots for Barrett?
They haven’t arrived from Chicago yet… stuck in traffic.
I’d like to think that the reason this HHD was so tardy in getting itself poated is that no one could bare to push down the spectacular beertits chick from the last poat. At least that’s what I’d like to think.
no one could bare to push down the spectacular beertits chick from the last poat
I was good with that.
bare…heh
I read somewhere that the beertits chick had peanuts superglued on for that scene.
What kind of shit do you read? I can only imagine the contents of for browser history.
Ummmm…..not the usual Wednesday eye candy, but I figure everybody is still recovering from last night’s pudding and Val-u-Rite bacchanalia.
Speaking of which, who made off with the lampshade?
Hey, can we get DJ Burpsalot to play at Lapeerapalooza?
He looks like he has major skillz……
Yea, I’ve got a great idea. How about we put pictures of little cute baby girls for BBF?
Ok, I can do that. But most baby gurls I know are about 22 and built like a brick shit house.
No no no … I’ll do it.
It’ll be the cutest thing EVER.
Yeah, remember that time laura did BBF?
Look, If I don’t get hunks, you guys don’t get boobs.
It’s not our fault. #slackers
Car in is a marxist. She wants equality of suffering.
OMG. There is totally too much soccer drama in my life right now.
UGH. My kids’ little club (Lapeer soccer) is a hell-hole of fighting parents and coaches. The club has some questionable policies for a travel team … so now we are having TWO OTHER professionally run travel organizations holding try-outs for “lapeer” teams.
Lapeer Arrows and Lapeer Bolton.
It’s a fucking mess. I don’t want to be involved in politics or any of this bitching. I just want my kids to play soccer (SYWM – everyone of you). I feel if I pick one team (I have to eventually pick one team) , I’ll be burning bridges.
Is it too early to drink?
Carin – You sound like one of those people they bussed in to WI to vote for the unions. . . just sayin’.
>> Look, If I don’t get hunks, you guys don’t get boobs.
You’re complaining to the wrong department
* files formal complaint with H2 management.
There. Someone will straighten out this mess.
>> I feel if I pick on team (I have to eventually pick one team) , I’ll be burning bridges.
If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.
/geddylee
I’ll settle this. I’ll do BBF.
I’ll settle this. I’ll do BBF.
Yea, that’ll even things out.
/geddylee
I thought Neil wrote all the lyrics.
If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.
/geddylee
Ain’t that the truth. Honestly, this soccer thing is such a clusterfuck of fail. I cannot believe these folks have created this.
I’ll settle this. I’ll do BBF.
From a guy who wears a skirt? Could be trouble….
Agile may have been on a break when Hotspur last did BBF.
Car in, maybe your kids have had enough as well – they might not enjoy it any more, either.
It sounds like a lot of the problem parents are trying to live vicariously through their kids – a toxic situation for all concerned, especially those who just want to play for love of the game.
I hope they are able to work something out……
Later, all. Time to go pick up the truck from the shop. F’ing rental feels like an escape pod compared to my truck…
F’ing rental feels like an escape pod
Check behind the pipes, Ripley, before you go to sleep. THE ALIEN IS HIDING IN THERE!
Things I didn’t know:
http://twitpic.com/9titpp
Soccer is ghey.
We’ve got some serious thunder, lightning, and rain happening right now –
Rebecca keeps running in and trying to save us…..
I ♥ you Red Solo Cup.
What are the other three lines for?
I updated this mutha.
You’re welcome.
What are the other three lines for?
Head room ‘spur or it is full, it is really full, and you are gonna spill it.
You’d kick ass on Jeopardy, Cliff. Er, I mean Jay.
No wonder I got so fucked up last Saturday night…..I was filling it up with Crown to the wine mark.
Wow, Car in – that is quite the hunk…..
…..a hunk of what, I’m not exactly sure – Cheetos, maybe…..
Really? “Cheetos” killed it?
New pic to put in the rotation, Cyn:
http://twitpic.com/9tjj9f
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
It’s the pervading sense of shame when I look at my orange cock and can’t thing of a clever retort, that’s what it is.
SOHOS!!!!!!
Who said Geddy Lee?
I swear it was for science!!
http://tinyurl.com/88mj7gu
I just fired mcafee.
Any suggestions for an antivirus program?
Scott – I use Norton, for what it’s worth.
And the antivirus comment kills. . .
I just remembered that our local computer geek recommends Microsoft Security Essentials. It’s free.
McAfee was $70 a year.
(off in the distance, the muffled sound of a car door slamming. A dog barks twice, then is silent.)
I use Microsoft scott, works for me. Doesn’t use hardly any resources, either.
I used AVG before, it was a memory hog.
Evenin’, folks.
Scott, I use Mac.
You enter a room, the scent of lavender and blood is prevalent.
I have noticed a speed increase Jay.
Scott, I use Norton also. It’s been absolutely foolproof.
You people are boring me to tears.
“Democracy is dead!”
*sobs*
I got through 30 minutes of The Ed Show.
It’s hard to believe they have more viewers than CNN.
Ed is Bob Beckel. But drunker.
I think Ed and Bob are probably sisters.
There is not shit on tv tonight.
I am too old for MAC
Hotspur isn’t fooling anyone.
You enter a room, the scent of lavender and blood is prevalent.
———————–
What is Marilyn Monroe’s bathroom?
Holy shit. That was a long day. But, I got a repeat, which means more of the same tomorrow. Which is a good thing, because I also got a recommendation from the crew supervisor who wants me to fill out an application tomorrow before we start work.
Whatcha doin Jewstin?
High point of the day:
*Driving down a residential street behind some pokey old ranch truck
Pat (the driver): Hey! What the fuck is wrong with this guy?!
Me: Yeah. HEY, CHRISTOPHER, WHY DON”T YOU FUCKING DROP DEAD?!
Back Seat Guy: Who’s Christopher?
Me: I don’t know.
*Moment of stunned silence
*Cue hysterical laughter and near crash with sign post.
Back in Irvine, safe and sound.
Landscaping. It’s pretty okay. 10 hour days though.
They have residential streets out there?! I’ll be damned!
Landscaping is ok if you don’t have allergies.
It’s true, MCPO. We’ve finally arrived.
There are even street lights in the crappy part of the town.
Scott, I use Norton also. It’s been absolutely foolproof.
Bullshit. Norton is a memory hog and requires other programs like Malwarebytes to find the stuff it can’t.
I recommend removing Norton to anyone who has ever had a problem with their computer and it usually solves it.
Antivir is free and works great, especially in conjunction with SuperAntiSpyware (also free).
Haven;t had a problem in years using both of those.
Here’s a fine example:
http://tinyurl.com/cakbgsd
(You can’t see the lights on account of how it’s still daytime in that picshure)
http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/article/lefts-fantasy-wisconsin-worker-rebellion/584336#disqus_thread
This encapsulates a lot of stuff that I felt but really didn’t know to verbalize so much. Also, the union tantrum revealed to the regular people a depth of ignorance about the recession that everyone else was so painfully experiencing. This was also their undoing.
Here’s a fine example:
Oh LOOK! A Tornado Magnet!!!
Wiserbud is here? What the hell am I doing up this late?
And In Re: This Poat
MJ be rolling with some swagg beeyotches.
I think. Is that right?
This encapsulates a lot of stuff that I felt but really didn’t know to verbalize so much.
What’s really weird is that, of all the people I speak to here in CT, almost all of them are conservatives and they hate public unions, even if they belong to one.
Yet…..
Wiserbud is here? What the hell am I doing up this late?
I was trying to wait you out…..
We need to extend the Clinton tax cuts.
We need to extend the Clinton tax cuts.
I thought those were now known as the Obama tax cuts?
Damn, it’s getting impossible to keep up….
Seriously; I explained to a public employee last year that our business was just limping along, many of my customers had lost their jobs, and people were losing their homes.
She bitched to me about how her department always seemed to defer their raises, year after year. No raise for three years.
How do you even fucking respond to this level of spoiled ignorance? It’s like if I had my leg amputated, and in response she complained about a bad pedicure.
Wiser Norton 360 solved most of the “problems” you had. I haven’t had any with it, though earlier versions caused me a problem or two.
*tackles wiserbud and gives him ‘the Wyoming trailer home’*
(fleas, rust, and three lukewarm cans of PBR)
How do you even fucking respond to this level of spoiled ignorance?
Preferably with a baseball bat.
*tackles wiserbud and gives him ‘the Wyoming trailer home’*
ow.
Please stop that.
ow.
Wiser Norton 360 solved most of the “problems” you had.
No better than free programs have done and sometimes, worse. And with more than a slightly negative impact on system performance.
Norton sux
Scott:
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2369749,00.asp
Scott:
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2369749,00.asp
and who buys more ad space in PC Mag?
Ticks is extra.
I’m pretty happy with Avast.
Roseanne Barr says that Hollywood has blacklisted her because she is too liberal. Who is going to tell her the truth?
Roseanne Barr says that Hollywood has blacklisted her because she is too liberal.
Well, if you define “too liberal” as being “batshit crazy and having the potential of going violently off the rails at the drop of a hat,” then yeah, she’s probably right.
Who is going to tell her the truth?
Not me. I still have her Lakers jacket, so I’ve been bought.
I’m playing golf tomorrow, Friday and Sunday. I lurve me some summer!
Interesting that that PCMag article don’t mention MalwareBytes.
I run resident Malwarebytes and Vipre anti-virus.
The engineering company that Anita used to work for changed their Anti-Virus from Kaspersky to Vipre, so we had to run that here. It don’t seem too intrusive. I’ve renewed it a couple times.
The last time I really ‘got bit’ was when, on start-up in the morning, a pop-up appeared advising an “Update for Adobe Flash” was available. I clicked on it and trashed my machine.
YMMV
Oklahoma is one of the few states I’ve not visited. This makes me kinda glad. . .
http://tinyurl.com/663sm2
Interesting that that PCMag article don’t mention MalwareBytes.
yeah….. interesting…..
Cool fact about Oklahoma: dave was born in Oklahoma. He was a Oklahomo before he was Dave in Texas.
Chief,
Our ‘Summer’ here was the last two months. I actually turned on the gas-log yesterday!
Our normal rainfall for June is .3″. Yesterday we got .95″.
It’s 1945, the sun is still up, and it’s 62 degrees.
If I walked into the garden now, I’d probably lose a shoe.
It’s snowing in the passes.
I’ve got your Goreball Warming “Right Here”.
*Grabs Crotch*
Mary Wells. . .
*tries to lure Roamy out*
Another cool fact about Oklahoma is that Ft. Sill is there. You can go to the artillery school there and get paid to blow-up a lot of stuff! Including dropping a round into downtown Lawton!
Hey mofaku I was born in Alabama.
If any state deserves to have a crapload of artillery shot at it, it’s Oklahoma.
Oklahoma, Alabama… Same difference….
Mrs. Caruthers is on her way to Estonia.
I’m considering making this on Saturday.
Oklahoma, Alabama… Same difference….
http://tinyurl.com/6gwcg68
Leon – Hoping she has a safe and enjoyable deployment.
I have, or had, a Lithuanian uncle by marriage. Joe. Good man.
When he was nine years old he ran messages for the Lithuanian resistance against the Nazis. He seemed like a sweet old guy, but my dad told me one day “he could fuck somebody up if he wanted to. He’s seen some shit.”
Me too, Chief. Going to be another tough couple of weeks.
He’s seen some shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ug-I2kHhz8
http://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2012/06/robert-farago/you-can-never-stress-safety-enough/
Well, it wasn’t that kinda shit. That’s freaky.
All seriousness aside, the story was the Nazis shot his dad along with several other men who they claimed were hiding resistance fighters. I don’t know. These things can be total bullshit or totally true. But I liked Joe, and he carried a kind of “eh, I’ve seen worse” sort of thing about him.
I’m craving a fried chicken sammich. Good thing there is no Chick-fil-A within 10 minute drive.
You’d have to peel it.
I’m down 10 pounds as of right the fuck now. I do that 4 more times and I made it.
I’ll split it with ya, Chief.
There’s one about 10 min from me.
There’s one about 10 sec from me.
Yeah, but Cyn, you’re more than 10 minutes from me.
True that.
Shit. Now I want Waffle Fries.
I only crave Chick-fil-a on Sundays. My hubby gets free sammich and shakes coupons from a former co-worker that does marketing for CFA. Their shakes are YUMMY!
Mmmmm Milkshake
Oso’s milkshake brings all the bears to the yard.
WTF is Chick-fil-a? Never heard of such a thing. I’m in western WA, so we don’t even have sidewalks here.
I did go to combination KFC and Taco Bell today and get four “Doritos Locos Tacos” for $1.29 each. Was VERY disappointed. Would have been better-off stopping at Jack in The Box and getting twice as many “Two for $.99” Tacos for the same money.
So it goes…
http://tinyurl.com/8y9cya5
NYTOL.
Chick-fil-a has too many carbs. 44grams in just the basic sammich. No waffle fries. I make Dan order shakes so I can have a sip. He’s gained 30# since I was diagnosed.
XB, Justin is my favorite writer at the duffel blog. He cracks me up more than Frank J at imao.
Nighty dreams, Chrispy.
*opens bag full of carbs and munches*
Oh, man I just realized I forgot to eat dinner. No wonder I’m getting tipsy on half a cocktail.
I haven’t paid much attention to who writes what, but it overall is a pretty good blog.
Gots to sleeps.
G’night Dave. G’night ChrisP
Cyn, I may actually have to cut back on my refreshing beverage intake or start exercising. New job isn’t as physically demanding as old job. Stupid carbs shouldn’t be so yummy!
I’ll drink it for you.
I’m nice that way.
Thanks. I was enjoying the Bud Light Lime-a-ritas until I actually read the nutrition panel. Back to Evan and Diet 7. (Wine level on my red solo cup)
Name that party!
http://news.yahoo.com/dc-council-chair-resigns-bank-fraud-charge-005917721.html
Let’s go to the movies!
http://tinyurl.com/82p7qwa
Heh. G’night, XB.
Daddy was a derp robber, but he never hurt nobody.
He just loved to live that way and he loved to steal your money.
wakey wakey
Did I mention that I am pretty sore from that soccer game? My legs AND my core. All that start and stopping.
I dont wanna get up
I have an 8:30 meeting ugh which means I have to be out the door in 10 minutes. ugh
Chick-fil-owha?? Don’t think we have those here.
ION, my backyard looks like Scotland. Brilliant green, kinda foggy and damp, no leprechauns.
WHERE’s LAURAW???
I got her package yesterday. WOOT
She put me to shame with my piddly offeringss and poor packing. THREE days? I need to send her more stuff. I don’t care if she doesn’t even want it.
I’ll poat a picture when I get everything planted. I’ve already got the mini water-lilly on my porch in a bowl, but I’m starting to envision grander schemes for it … a bigger bowl … in the garden perhaps? I’ll need to research this.
THANK YOU LAURAW!!!!! I haven’t decided where to put the mint yet.
*ponders.
The blue lobelia (I don’t think I spelled that correctly) – I think I’ll put that in my “new” garden.
*ponders more
Good morning ladies!
Mrs Phat and the phatlings are off for a weekend mission trip so it’s just me and the dogs for a couple of days.
What could possibly go wrong?
Glad to see this turn into the ‘Smart Gardening Blog’ it was always meant to be.
That’s cardinal lobelia- red. Bright red, blooms end of Summer and brings in hummingbirds. I have mine potted in compost, in pots with no holes in the bottom. They don’t need drainage and even like a little standing water around their feet from time to time.
Glad you like it honey! Let me know if you need any waterlily advice. Did you pot it up and then sink the pot in the bowl of water, or did you plant it directly in the bottom of the bowl and then fill?
A few pots of Cardinal lobelia close to the house will bring hummingbirds right up to your face, as Wiserbud discovered one afternoon a year or so ago, lol.
*hugs Carin, in sheer garden-blog joy*
Oh, honey.
Let’s promise to always ruin the blog tegether. Forever.
My neighbor put in a ‘ghost pepper’ plant his year. He had to special order it.
Are those things as nuclear-hot as they say? Saw Adam Richman eat on Man vs. Food and it damn near killed him.
RED. right. gah. How tall does it get?
well, I need a bigger bowl, so it’s just temporarily hanging in a bit of water.
Oh, honey.
Let’s promise to always ruin the blog tegether. Forever.
ALWAYS!!!!
*pinkie promises*
What could possibly go wrong?
I suggest you try making the bacon explosion while they’re away. That way you don’t have to share.
Are those things as nuclear-hot as they say?
You can juice them directly into pepper spray. So… maybe?
OMG OMG OMG. I have a wonderful idea about what to to with it.
No telling until it’s done.
Glad to see this turn into the ‘Smart Gardening Blog’ it was always meant to be.
*shuns phat for lacking vision
Honestly, I didn’t get a HHD this week. I may start talking fitness next. And then? BREAD recipes.
Gardening and fitness are one thing, bread is just one step too far. I’m sorry.
That Wiserbud / hummingbird thing was funny as hell.
I thought he was going to lose an eye.
Meeting a guy on Saturday morning to try and sell the bike.
Plan for today:
finish coffee
shave
go to work
go to gym
go to eye exam
come home and try to start car
if car starts, drive directly to dealership and trade it in
Honestly, the car thing might have to wait until tomorrow if the eye exam runs long.
Bread is a bridge too far. I cut bread/wheat from my diet and dropped 10 lbs in 2 weeks.
Then I went back to eating it because I LOVE IT SO DAMN MUCH! *sobs.
Car in, you are going to need something to prevent skeeters living in the lily pot. Home Depot mosquito dunks are easy.
I was going to hit spin class after lifting this am, but have been reading that intense cardio after weights may inhibit muscle growth.
Any thoughts on that, Leon?
Insert ‘from’ anywhere it works.
Car in, you are going to need something to prevent skeeters living in the lily pot. Home Depot mosquito dunks are easy.</em.
What I need are some guinea hens. I wonder if the chickens would help out?
I may just ride the bike to the gym and call it good.
Although I do love my back row spin bike. The view is lovely! Especially with all the girls home from college.
Did I mention I’m a Class-B bachelor this weekend?
Car-In, get a bat-box. I’m going to try and build one this weekend. Those things eat their weight in skeeters every night.
I have a bat box … I need to put it up. I get bats already though. I also put up a martin house this year, although no one has taken occupancy yet. It can take a few years I hear.
We need to extend the Clinton tax cuts.
———————
Hahahahahahaha.
Ghost Peppers (Bhut Jolokia, $15 for 15 seeds) are indeed that hot. I can use 3-4 habeneros for pork tamale filling, but 1 ghost will light you up. Supposedly 5 times hotter than a habenero, 5k more than a jalepeno. Still doesn’t taste as good as a habenero or a tepin, though. But use gloves when cutting them up!
I was going to hit spin class after lifting this am, but have been reading that intense cardio after weights may inhibit muscle growth.
If you’re really trying to drop some fat, sprinting/interval workouts are probably going to help a lot. Timing-wise, after weights is probably best, because weight-lifting is going to burn through most of your stored sugar and leave you primed to burn mostly fat in spinning.
If you go too long in spinning, though, you’re going to really run out of sugar. That can be bad, because you need some glycogen (sugar stored in muscle, which is what I mean when I say “sugar” here) to burn along with fat. If you have none left, you’ll make some via a process called gluconeogenesis, which requires amino acids (protein building blocks) and fat. You probably don’t mind burning the fat, but your body only stores protein one way: muscle. If you don’t have free amino acids in your bloodstream, you’ll start to catabolize muscle to free some up.
Simple answer: if you’re going to do both, get some branched-chain amino acids (BCAAs) or some no-sugar whey protein to consume prior to starting the weights. That way they’ll be digesting and hitting your bloodstream just in time to keep you from cutting into muscle to do your spinning workout. If your real goal is strength, though, I’d keep spinning to 1/2 times a week or not at all. You can only repair so much, and you’d want to make sure your recovery capacity went toward strength.
Sorry for the blog post. I like to answer completely so my short answer doesn’t look like bro-science.
Is there some way to do that while I sleep, leon? That sounds like a lot of work.
Short bro-answer: “brah, srsly, just drink some BCAAs or whey or pop some tabs before you go do a marathon workout brah”.
Is there some way to do that while I sleep, leon? That sounds like a lot of work.
Yes. Don’t drink before bedtime; sleep in a cool, dark room; try to get 8-9 hours a night. Good sleep is more important to weight loss than exercise.
Work time.
8-9 hours? I don’t know if I could sleep that long. I’m willing to give it a shot, though.
Carin, do you have any clay soil on your property? Waterlilies like clay or mucky soil. Or you can just use some heavy garden dirt.
It’s a good idea to crumble up a mosquito dunk and mix it with your lily dirt. Seems to work better than just floating a dunk in the water.
I’ll find some.
That Wiserbud / hummingbird thing was funny as hell.
I thought he was going to lose an eye.
Well, that would have made it even funnier…..
Obama replaces Hail to the Chief as his intro music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aRnFRtrYaI
I sent you an email about potting lilies. Kicking myself for not sending you a little kit.
Ga. Idiot on my face chimp again if anyone wants to go play.
How tall is the red thing? I need to know for placement.
Good morning cool kids.
2-3 feet tall. Likes afternoon shade.
Thanks Leon!
I’d read about the catabolic effect. I usually don’t drink protein prior to lifting. I use 1MR and then a protein shake after workout.
I’ll probably just hit the weights today. Doing spin after a leg workout is rough.
Bread is a bridge too far.
How about bagels?
I like the asiago cheese bagels.
http://is.gd/oz6v2A
Obama ate a fuckin’ dog.
I’m trying to get the guy to unfriend me. Think he will?
Depends on how far you are willing to go. you could deploy
W
P
IYKWIMAITYD
You may rely on it.
New Poat is up for the masses.
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