Rock Around the Crock: Sweet, Sweet Saxophone

I’m doing something new this week. Instead of featuring a specific composer, or a musical form, I’m going to focus on a particular instrument. The headline should have given that away. Let’s learn about the bendy sex whistle saxophone! We’ll start with Alexander Glazunov’s Concerto for Alto Saxophone, just to reassure everyone that we still get to listen to snobby concert music:

The saxophone was invented in the early 1840s by Belgian instrument maker Adolphe Sax, who wanted to design an instrument with the agility of a woodwind but the projection of a brass. It is a single reed woodwind instrument with a conical body, usually made of brass. Traditionally, the instrument has a range from the Bb below middle C, up to the F two and a half octaves above, although some modern instruments have keys giving an extra note or two. For most saxophones, that musical range requires that the instrument have a bendy shape to it, lest it get too unwieldly to play, but soprano and sopranino saxophones don’t have that problem, so they can be straight, like what Kenny G plays:

Although the saxophone was incorporated into some musical ensembles in the fist decades after its invention, it has never become widely adopted as an orchestral instrument. It was added much more quickly to brass bands, and especially military bands. I find that interesting, because I associate the sound of a saxophone much more with seduction than with war. The sax solo in Never Tear Us Apart is gorgeous:

And maybe the sultriest use of a saxophone I’ve ever heard is in Careless Whisper:

Seether did a cover of that song, which I can respect, but they swapped out the sax with a guitar, which means the whole song is completely pointless. Instead of linking that, here’s Postmodern Jukebox:

Hall and Oates use a nice doubling effect on the sax solo in Maneater that I like a lot. I loved this song when I was a kid, and I still do. It was written about actress Kelly Lebrock. I would describe the bass line here as relentless:

Us and Them, Pink Floyd:

The Revivalists, Wish I Knew You. This video is really sweet:

Literally anything by Morphine, a three-piece band that features drums, bass and saxophone. Why can’t love be blind? Instead of just a blind man singing, “why can’t love be, why can’t love be blind?”

The Lonely Island, Saxman:

One of my absolute favorite things, from about eight years ago. Dude on a New York City subway busts out of saxophone and starts playing for tips. Little does he know, there’s another sax player on that train, and before he knows it he’s in an epic sax battle. They play off of each other so perfectly – two total strangers who know their instruments and have so much soul:

Now that you know about the power of the bendy sex whistle, I must warn you that it contains a power that, if not respected, can destroy the unwary.

To play you out, let’s get back to where we started with concert music, this time with Rhapsody, by Andre Waignein. Have a sultry Sunday.

101 Comments

  1. Subway Sax Battle was great

  2. So was the dude cradling an infant with the unmistakable look of happiness on his face

  3. Congrats to your parents Pupster, that’s remarkable. We had a 50th for my parents that was wonderful.

  4. Say what you want about Kenny G, motherfucker is laughing all the way to the bank

  5. Pups, thanks for the baby pic.

  6. My older brother played the sax for a few years. Our high school didn’t have a band so he dropped the sax and I dropped the trumpet once we got to HS. I’m sure they encourage the kids more now with some type of band.

  7. How is everyone celebrating Juneteenth?

    I thought I’d go downtown and torch a few buildings.

  8. * breaks into beauty supply store *

  9. You can get your toddlers vaccinated now.

  10. And happy Father’s Day, you racists not celebrating Juneteenth.

  11. so they can be straight, like what Kenny G plays:

    ^First time in history “straight” and “Kenny G” appeared in the same sentence.

  12. Y’all just jealous of my boy Kenny.

  13. Happy J’Teenth J’ames.

  14. The mayor of Milwaukee just announced on NPR that white people can celebrate Juneteenth too.

  15. #Problematic

  16. The Biden falling off the bike memes are friggen funny. If I weren’t so lazy I’d put together a compilation poat of them. And some of the comments.

  17. Happy Father’s Day to all of you fatherly hawt sausages! May someone feed you barbecue while not talking to you, whilst you park your can wherever it is most comfortable.

    My husband will be spending it helping out the dopey kids. SIL’s car won’t start, so he took my daughter’s car to the bachelor party he was invited to, yesterday. He has proven himself at his own, to not be able to handle such festivities.
    My daughter’s car now has a flat. Do-pee.

  18. Asked the husband why he’s going over there since the boy’s father was coming up to help him and he says no way is he going to be shown up on Father’s Day.

    Back in our day, if that happened to us, we, as in he, would have taken care of it himself. He would not have put off the one to go to a party where he would flatten the other’s tire.

  19. Off to weed the front garden…stfu with your wm.

  20. Oh and the CDC has issued monkeypox guidelines if any of you plan on hitting some bath houses or gay raves..

    “Some of the guidance includes masturbating at least six feet away from a partner, avoiding kissing, having virtual sex, and “having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present.”

    The CDC makes plain its advice comes because “monkeypox spreads through close skin-to-skin contact and any person can spread the disease.”

    Additionally, those infected with monkeypox — or who are presumed to be carrying the virus — are asked to wash their hands along with other accoutrement including “fetish gear, sex toys, and any fabrics” that may have come into contact with infected areas during sexual intercourse.”

    You’re welcome.

  21. wakey wakey

  22. I can’t believe that the CDC would be so insensitive to publish something like that during Monkypox Pride Month. SMH.

  23. I think we need a campaign to eradicate this scourge. It will need a catchphrase. How about

    “Let’s Spank Out Monkeypox Together!”

  24. Okay, sometimes I enter our neighborhood from a different street just to avoid the soul crushing repetition of turning down the same street every single time and today I took the different way. There’s a house on the corner near the river that has a new sign up and I slowed down enough to read it today.

    https://www.penobscotbayweddings.com/

    I had no idea. I vaguely knew the house was owned by a lawyer and I think I met him once a long time ago. He must have either died or moved because his daughter and her husband are running it as an event venue now. Hopefully they do well, this town needs the revenue.

  25. Happy Fathers Day

  26. You may spank my Monkeypox.
    Also, Spanking Monkeypox would be a good band name.
    Also also, I just like the word Monkeypox.

  27. Saxophone? You’re gonna need yourself some Leo P.

  28. You know what else is fun to day?

    Penobscot.

  29. CDC is probably full of monkeypox spreaders that is why they do not issue the most obvious advice to keep your effing schmeckles in your pants, away from numerous strangers. Doing so would stop the spread of so many itchy burny oozing things.

  30. Masters Agility Championship at Westminster is on RIGHT NOW.

  31. I’ll see your Penobscot and raise you a Mic Mac and a Kennebec

  32. HA! The leader, so far, of the championship was getting belly rubbins.

  33. I saw spanking monkeypox open for INXS in ‘88.

  34. Ha! Fun stuff Beasn! I’ll have to make some one day 😀
    I like the middle finger one too.

  35. Michilimacinac is fun to say too.

    I try not to spank my monkeypox, bad habit to be in.

  36. I misspelled it, it actually has a k:

    https://www.mackinacparks.com/parks-and-attractions/colonial-michilimackinac/

  37. I’m sure they’ll be adding BIPOC and LGBTQ+ representation if they hadn’t already, because those were so important to colonial-era northern Michigan.

    Well, okay, the “I” might have been, but they likely already had that.

  38. Wow, that border collie was awesome. She fit her name, Kaboom.

  39. Had a weird migraine this morning, just the aura, no pain. A bright shimmer in my field of vision that wouldn’t go away.

    This flexeril I took is really old, guess I should just chuck the rest of it. Didn’t do anything for pain, anyway, only ibuprofen helps.

    Ugh. I have so much stuff to pick in the garden and my back is still angry. Asked sis to come help tomorrow.

  40. Kaboom is a boy. 10 years. Got 1st place.
    Such a good boy.

  41. I’ve never been a fan of prescribing Flexeril for patients. It’s a pretty common Rx in the ER and I wrote for more of it in my month long rotation as an intern than in all the years since. People get whacked out with it and most people don’t like the feeling it gives them. Some people swear by its effectiveness. I’m not one of them.

  42. Whacked out is right! I’ve hardly been awake since this time yesterday.

    I pulled my back three days ago picking up a heavy waterlogged bag of wood chip mulch and twisting at the waist to chuck it into the wheelbarrow. I shook it off and worked through it. But then yesterday I knelt by the front garden and pulled a few weeds and then POW. It was that same muscle from the first time that went. I wasn’t even really bent over!

  43. El Gato Malo found another covid vax research paper where the results are softened or even outright denied in the abstract, while the data tells a different story. The researchers do this because journals are still spiking papers that produce data that might stimulate criticism of the mRNA vaccines. Apparently sperm concentration is affected by the clotshots. https://boriquagato.substack.com/p/pfizer-vaccine-effects-on-total-motile

    post day 150, sperm concentration was -15.9% vs baseline, lower even than in the 75-120 day period. average time post vaxx for T3 collection was 174 +/- 26.8 days so we’re talking about 6 months post vaxx with NO recovery in sperm concentration.

  44. Any govt agency that releases a guidance stating you should spank your monkey pox riddle junk 6 feet away from other ppl should be immediately defunded and closed. The head of that agency should be publicly shamed and barred from all future government employ.
    W
    T
    F

  45. https://tinyurl.com/3vyp7mjn

  46. Pat Metheny is my favorite jazz musician by far – I listen to his music several times a week. So he can do no wrong by me.

    Anyway, I think he’s dead right about Kenny G. I laughed when I saw Sobek put him up as an example of saxophone music.

  47. YALL LEAVE KENNY G ALONE!! THE MAN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!!!!

    A Monkeypox on the houses of all the haters!!

  48. Great. Now I’ve got frickin’ monkeypox on my house.

  49. According wikipedia, Kenny has been married twice and has two children, and probably has women following him everywhere wanting him to grab them by the pussy, so calling him gay is pretty queer if you ask me.

  50. Well HAPPY FATHERS DAY to KENNY FUCKIN GEE I had know idea he has such an ardent set of defenders.

    In somewhat related news my sister’s hometown has a Kitten Cuddling Lounge where you can make an appointment to cuddle with cats.

    Home

  51. One of Colbert’s staff was arrested for illegally entering the u.s. house.
    Wondering if that too qualifies as an insurrection.

    Just hearing about it. Caught the tail end of a report on Fox. Apparently Capitol police are looking into all possible charges.

  52. To celebrate JuneTeenth I’ve been wearing my pants fastened just a couple inches above my knees today.

    Also did research on getting a “grill” for my teeth.

  53. ^ thought about taking a lot of Fentanyl & resisting arrest, but don’t have the cash to spare thanks to Brandon.

  54. My best friend admitted to going to a Kenny G concert when he was a young man. But th deal was that his girlfriend loved KGs shit and he was pretty sure that it would lead to bonus pussy for the next week or so. There are trade offs in everything we do.

  55. Bonus pussy. Who could pass that up?

  56. Almost forgot-

    Happy Father’s Day to all you motherfuckers!

    It’s a new age for Father’s Day, since cell phones have made the collect call obsolete.

  57. The reason I quit watching Lawrence Welk is there’s too much sax & violins on tv.

  58. I swear it seems like these Bigfoot hunters don’t really want to find one of these things. Damn it guys get your shirt together.

  59. Lumps, that’s not entirely true. Try calling dad from jail!

  60. Hello Dad, I’m in jail

  61. Well Son, don’t drop the soap,

  62. Geoff, that’s just warped.
    Typically the call goes along the line of “hello. This is a collect call from the * county jail” then a pause where the perp gets to say their name, then “press 1 to accept the call”.

  63. Okay then.
    When the husband went over to help the dopey kids, he wound up being the driver to the lunch daughter treated him to while her husband and his dad went to pick up/change the flat on her car…where he left it. Problem is, they couldn’t find the car because he doesn’t remember where he left it. Car got the flat…he left it..walked to a place and called an Uber home.
    Because the other problem is, he was a little inebriated.

    I can’t even.

  64. We’ve been cutting/tedding/raking/baling hay since mid-Friday. I had a little too much gin Thursday night and I had a slight hangover Friday morning, so I went from headache to this weird lightheadedness that oddly hasn’t had any congestion, but the wife just pointed out that my face is all puffy.

    Thank God, I thought I’d had a stroke or something. I’ve been stone sober but walking around dizzy like I’m half-drunk for two days.

  65. Drunk Mr Beasn just reminded me.

  66. I have never lost a car.

  67. Tonight’s TOS: “Amok Time” written by Theodore Sturgeon! Spock is having a really bad week, I think this is the one where he goes into heat and has to get back to Vulcan. First episode I’ve seen with Chekhov.

  68. I lost a dinner once or twice, but no, never a car.

  69. When you get so drunk you lose your car, you might be a redneck.

  70. Did he at least make a sweet jump over a cop car with it first?

  71. It’s probably been towed already. Said he parked it in a strip mall. The entire length of road is nothing but strip malls. In a city where I bet there are signs that say non-customer cars will be towed.
    So why hasn’t the nincompoop called around to various tow places or the police to find out if they impounded it. When Mr. B called the daughter an hour or so ago, he was sleeping.

    Mr. B did say he gave him a Gibbs to the back of the head and called him a dumbass, when he over to jump start his car. He was all apologetic and us worried about the car….but other than looking this morning with his dad, he’s done nothing else.

  72. Whatever. All I have left to say is..good luck to them. He needs to get off his ass and fix it.

  73. I got drunk enough to spend two hours afoot looking for my hotel, which was only 5 blocks from the bar, one time. It’s a thousand wonders I wasn’t either mugged, raped, or arrested. Good times.

  74. I’m sorry your SiL is a dipshit, Beasn.

  75. He parked it in a strip mall and had to walk to call an Uber?

    Not buying it.

    It’s in a stream.

  76. Can’t he use google maps timeline to figure it out?

  77. Are there any strip clubs around there?

  78. He was inebriated and clearly was not making good decisions by getting in the car in the first place. Thus why my husband smacked the back of his head and told him he was a dumbass.

  79. Hopefully no ded hookers in the trunk.

  80. Diane enjoyed remembering Papa.

  81. Give the son-in-law another smack on the head for me and say Aunty Roamy says stop being a dumbass with the booze. Though at least he stopped driving before getting a DUI, because that will seriously fuck up your life.

    In other news, I got to watch a sheepdog demo that was in the middle of frickin nowhere. Farmer said he was glad for the EU subsidy for wool then turned around and bitched about the cost of car tags and insurance. Guess he’s not getting gov’t good and hard enough yet.

  82. If there’s a Monday poat, I’m not seeing it.

  83. Lol, I am getting ads for Irish dating apps, and there’s some good HHD fodder. Not saving them to my phone though.

  84. ww

    Sorry your SIL is a dumbass beasn.

  85. I am recovering from hay production, just got up.

  86. heh the little girl was the first person brandon spoke to after getting up

  87. Okay, inside and outside cats are fed, birds are fed and watered. I need to hunt for claritin before I do anything else. I still have zero equilibrium.

  88. Pay got this for father’s day: https://ooni.com/collections/ovens/products/ooni-koda

    And three tickets to a packer’s game.

  89. I have an emergency Monday poat in the hopper if Leon wants to take a break.

  90. I’m on my phone so if someone wants to hit publish….
    Emancipate it.

  91. https://tinyurl.com/49smv24s

  92. I told Mrs jam to make sure she emancipates a motherfucker at work…
    She looked at me and said it’s the twentieth….

  93. I’ll post it Jam, thanks. Next MMM is 500 and I’m too loopy to do that justice.

  94. Emergency T-rannyMonday Poat

  95. heh the little girl was the first person brandon spoke to after getting up

    What do you mean by “getting up”?


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