BBF–Big Boob Friday™

Hi scum!! You’ve made it to Friday and you are not dead. Well, everyone except George. He’s been dead for ages and often disappears, proving that the market for dead guy gay pron is alive and well. SWIDT?

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I wrote this song with Mark Knopfler. He’s cool. If you don’t agree, please see Cyn for discipline–and not the fun kind.

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This week’s model has been featured in this enormously popular, non-cheese related post before but I’m on the road this week so deal with it. I can’t quite decide if they’re too big or if they’re not. And by ‘them’ I mean her eyes. You’re such scum to think otherwise. By the way, if you haven’t watched the end of Breaking Bad, Hank kills Pinkman and Walt in a shootout. Please welcome our weekly spoiler alert–Wendy Fiore!!!!! ELEVENTY!!!!!!

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tumblr_mk3no8wMZl1rhhd9ho1_500

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No test this week because it’s MLK day coming up. Instead I dug up some stories that are either about us, or about future Hostage candidates.

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He has no fear of getting rubbed at nights because he has built no possessions. (That’s a real sentence).

… was staying at an ‘alternate housing facility‘ after receiving early release for a three year prison sentence…

Iowa…Hmm? Who do we  know that lives in Iowa.

I thought Mare was a girl. I’m so confused I don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe he/she/it is cis-it?

We have a doctor and a few engineers. I think we’d have room for this guy, though.

No means no!!!! That includes blow jobs.

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain’t one.

Lot’s of cheese in the news and blog lately. I can’t help but assume this all started here.

Question: Is this the ugliest woman alive you racist filth?  Answer: Yes.

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Ya’ll have a great weekend and try not to dork the swiss too much while I’m out. That’s my cheese. It was looking at me all saucy and sexy like.

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336 Comments

  1. Good morning all!

    Spectacular bewbs.

  2. They’re huuuuuge. And real.

    She’s a freak of nature.

  3. I said HUUUUUGE.

  4. She seems nipples.

  5. http://i.imgur.com/6il1nro.jpg

  6. Poor girl can’t go anywhere without people assuming she’s some kind of hooker.

    I’d love to console her.

  7. How long does it take to get a passport?

  8. Wakey Where’s My Muthafoching coffee wakey.

  9. BUNK!

  10. Here’s your god damn coffee!

  11. Wendy has been at the H2 more than some authors have!

  12. I’m out of coffee. And my car most likely wont start because it’s got a short and keeps draining the battery.

    (shakes fist at sky)
    MAAAARRRREEEEEE!!!!!!

  13. I think it took us 2 months, Jay.

  14. I remember mine taking three weeks.

    There’s an expedited process online.

    Plus I’m not a dwarf.

  15. I might be wrong. It was January 2009 and we didn’t need them until June.

  16. I’m out of coffee. And my car most likely wont start because it’s got a short and keeps draining the battery.
    ———-
    Hybrids suck.

  17. Where are you going Jay?

  18. It’s not the hybrid. It’s my minivan.

    *cries

  19. My MIL wants to go on a cruise with the family.

  20. My MIL’s Saturn had a short in the door lock that kept draining the battery if she didn’t drive it for a while. Make sure to check the switches!

  21. My son is going to get me coffee!!!!

    He loves me.

  22. Good morning. I downvoted this post. This model makes me feel inadequate and that is a hate crime against cis-chestally-impaired-hunchthings.

    And she can’t come to any of our club meetings, either.

  23. *tries to downvote it again*

    Hm. Only once per customer.

  24. HELLO FILTH. TAGNASH HAS ARRIVED TO…OH THERE IT IS.

    *dashes over to downvote button

  25. SHIT.

  26. I downvoted it for you.

    I don’t give a shit either way. I just want my mothafoching coffee.

    *encourages son to speed

  27. It’s not the hybrid. It’s my minivan.
    ———
    Minivan? I don’t even know what to say. That offends me more than a hybrid.

  28. Minivan? I don’t even know what to say. That offends me more than a hybrid.

    I’m a FRICKEN soccer mom to five kids. It’s either a min-van or a bus.

  29. THANK YOU, FEMALE EARTH VERMIN. WHEN TAGNASH DESTROYS YOUR PLANET, YOU WILL BE AMONG THOSE WHO ARE PERMITTED TO LIVE .005 SECONDS LONGER THAN THE REST OF YOUR DOOMED SPECIES.

    IT IS A SMALL AND SELECT GROUP. YOU SHOULD BE PLEASED. FOR A VERY SHORT MOMENT.

  30. Doesn’t Porsche have a SUV?

  31. *slowly shakes head.

  32. As long as MJ goes before me, Tagnash, I’m good.

  33. THANK YOU, FEMALE EARTH VERMIN. WHEN TAGNASH DESTROYS YOUR PLANET, YOU WILL BE AMONG THOSE WHO ARE PERMITTED TO LIVE .005 SECONDS LONGER THAN THE REST OF YOUR DOOMED SPECIES.

    IT IS A SMALL AND SELECT GROUP. YOU SHOULD BE PLEASED. FOR A VERY SHORT MOMENT.
    ————-
    What if I’m cis-gendered but identify as a gay woman?

  34. TAGNASH CANNOT HELP BUT NOTICE THAT THIS MODEL’S TEATS ARE TOO LARGE, AND FOUR OF THEM ARE MISSING.

    DID THESE TWO TEATS EAT THE OTHER FOUR? HA! HA! TAGNASH IS THE FOREMOST COMEDIAN ON PLANET TAGNASH.

    IT IS THE LAW.

  35. Morning, children. Good job, MJ. With these recent attractive models, why do I get the feeling you’re setting us up for something nasty in the future?

  36. Tagnash can kill us all now if I don’t get that coffee soon.

  37. Jesus, people, do NOT gis ‘cat porn.’ The fuck is wrong with some people. Dammit. You try to frame up a little joke…bleargh.

    *removes brain and soaks it in the sink with a little bleach*

  38. Heh, Putin is at work already, undermining the US Constitution:

    http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/olympics-fourth-place-medal/jessie-vetter-olympic-goalie-mask-u-constitution-removed-165941958–oly.html

    Yahoo link used because they had better pictures.

  39. It’s truly shocking. A friend and I stumbled across a site that was Frankenstein porn. It was animated and had a section related to bald women/monsters that had wieners. They were the Igor characters in Dr. Frankensteins lab.

    And the site was in some old 90s format. So weird. People are just nuts.

  40. Tagnash can kill us all now if I don’t get that coffee soon.
    ———
    My coffee meter is at zero as well. Let’s commit murder suicide.

    I’ll go first.

  41. l. Let’s commit murder suicide.

    I’ll go first.

    *murders MJ

    Oh look! Coffee’s here.

    What a shame.

  42. Lauraw, I haven’t gotten a single seed catalog.

    I may have to murder someone else.

  43. *sits on 2 seed catalogs

    Me either, Car in!

    *fist bumps laura

  44. I hate you both so very much.

  45. *murders MJ

    Oh look! Coffee’s here.

    What a shame.
    ————–
    Hahaha. You outsmarted me.

  46. I thought you wanted to “go” first.

    My bad.

  47. I was more interested in our mutual death from caffeine withdrawal. Mine is still affecting me.

    Death is preferable.

  48. Diet Mt. Dew FTW!

    *already had my cup of coffee, on the glorious ride in on the black ice

  49. And yes, I know diet pop won’t help me lose weight

  50. Yes, you’re right. Life w/o coffee isn’t worth living.

    Thankfully my son picked me up TWO large coffees.

    One down, one to go.

  51. Diet soda gives me headaches. And the carbonation makes my tummy hurt. I can have a sip here or there (at work, that’s what I do when I haven’t eaten and am extremely thirsty). But more than a few sips …

  52. You let your youngest drive to get coffee? Nice!

  53. You have to build your tolerance. Start with Sierra Mist, pretty soon you’ll be up to Jolt (all the sugar and twice the caffeine!).

  54. He doesn’t like decaffeinated Mom.

  55. My oldest is home today – since he had to work SUnday. He works m-f most weeks.

    And no, he doesn’t like decaffeinated mom. No one does.

  56. Sierra mist is WAY to sweet. At work, I mix ginger ale (it’s a bar one, so not very sweet), with a bit of sour mix. It’s yummy.

  57. Sour mix + OJ + 7up = YUM!

  58. I like a good orange soda. OH, and ruby red squirt.

    That’s about it.

  59. I’ve stopped drinking soda mostly because I don’t want to carry it up the stairs.

    I do kind of like it though.

    The new place was awesome. I got lucky.

  60. Have you guys heard of Green Mountain? Maybe Green something else. Anyway, it’s Green.

  61. I’ve heard of the color green. Is that what you’re talking about? I use it everywhere in my landscaping.

  62. Ruby red squirt? OMG That sounds kinky in a really bad way.

  63. Prospective customer calls and leaves message to tell me they don’t really want to spend any money on getting this work done.

    Yeah, I’ll be calling you right back pronto!

  64. It’s nice that you can refuse. I don’t find out people don’t want to pay me for my work until after I’m done.

    The other night, this elderly man didn’t have enough money to tip me more than $2.50 on $40.

    THANKS!

  65. Maybe they send seed catalogs to your area later? Dunno.

  66. Maybe they send seed catalogs to your area later? Dunno.

    Maybe they found out how bad the blight is in my garden and don’t want e to have their seeds?

  67. Waitresses should negotiate their prices up front, like the rest of the world. Even hookers do it.

  68. Well, we do get screwed spectacularly that way too. Scott did about five hours of work a couple weeks ago, and then the guy changed his mind. And while he was wasting our time, we had other, better, customers, waiting too long and getting ticked off. So it was a double whammy of a time-killer.

    And not only did the guy change his mind AFTER we did the work, but he felt it necessary to *also* send shitty disparaging emails to us as well, criticizing our pricing.

    It doesn’t happen often but when it does you want to choke a bitch. Cost of doing business.

  69. Maybe if you choked a few, you’d find a better class of customer?

  70. In restaurants, you’ll often find that the more demanding the table, the less your tip is going to be. They’ll need a drink refill every 2 minutes (my favorite is when you deliver drinks, start taking the order, and they interrupt you halfway through the table to ask for more), the steak is underdone, I need two BUTTERS, extra ranch, more bread, etc. They don’t want to be a bother, but we forgot to ask for BBQ sauce for our fries.

    @@

  71. “Yes, I can bring you BBQ sauce for your fries. It adds $2 to the tab. Is that okay?”

  72. I like xbrad’s method. I’m starting tonight.

    Beware, Iowa pizza customers!

  73. “Yes, soda refills are free, but you’ve got to add a quarter per trip, per refill for the tip.”

  74. First refills are free. Cause I’m nice like that.

  75. “Hi. My name is Carin, and I’ll be your waitress tonight. Before I tell you about the specials, let me tell you about my price – minimum of 20% of your total tab. Now, about those specials…”

  76. LOL. That’s an excellent idea. I am a good waitress, though. I”m totally worth it.

    That’s why I get so many people who request my section. Some will even wait. At times I’ve had to pick up an extra table in someone else’s section because they requested me.

  77. I only drink club soda and the very occasional Pepsi Throwback (and then only with rum). The rest are entirely unappealing to me anymore.

  78. Carin, when I had my store, the customers who want you to do the most extra work also do not want to pay for it. They don’t only do this in restaurants.

  79. The Pupsters are high-maintenance restaurant customers. Boy one always needs extra plate, extra napkin, Coke no ice. He’ll send back silverware, cups, dinnerware that have any blemishes, even water spots.

    Boy two wants grenadine in his Dr. Pepper and usually has at least one spectacular spill on himself/table/others.

    Mrs. Pupster will drink 3-4 diet cokes with her meal, and always seems to time it right after the server leaves the area. Always needs a to-go box and usually leaves it on the table when we go home.

    I require a constant stream of alcohol to keep from choking out my family in the restaurant.

    My tips start at 20% and go up.

  80. they requested me.

    They’re just checking out your ass.

  81. I did a downvote. Tagnash scares me.

  82. You’re a good egg, Pups. Sorry about the rage-induced alcoholism.

  83. Oso! Are you usually around this early? I think of you as a late night commenter.

  84. I require a constant stream of alcohol to keep from choking out my family in the restaurant.

    My tips start at 20% and go up.

    Ha ha haa! I would love to wait on the Pupster family. If I know kids have issues I will be extra patient (there are several families who come in with kids who have aspies and various levels of OCD, etc). There is a woman who comes in that is very OCD as well. I’m fine with that. Those families almost ALWAYS tip well. They also don’t make me “guess” as to what they need.

  85. They’re just checking out your ass.

    Guilty.

  86. I’m around late. I’m around early.

  87. They’re just checking out your ass.

    A worthy endeavor.

  88. I’m usually at the HQ for Gabe and the news dump in the AM.

  89. I usually set a $5 bill on the table, and tell the waitress that every mistake she makes, $1 comes off the tip.

  90. I usually set a $5 bill on the table, and tell the waitress that every mistake she makes, $1 comes off the tip.

    You do not.

  91. Ha! Pups! Stress makes the alcohol taste even better!

  92. We watched Captain Phillips last night. What a fucking horrible movie. Tom Hanks is a tool.

  93. Can Tagnash start the genocide with people that wear sunglasses indoors?

    I find that silly.

  94. Why do you watch so many crappy movies?

    Lone. Survivor.

  95. The next movie you should go see is “Her.”

  96. I don’t “go” see movies.

  97. Have you seen Four Rooms, HS.

    It’s terrible. You seem to like bad movies.

  98. Have you seen White Dog yet? It’s Kristy McNichols finest work.

  99. Sideways is another horrible movie. Get that one.

  100. Daylight with Stallone. Awful. 2 hours of your life you won’t get back.

    Must see.

  101. Sideways is another horrible movie. Get that one.

    While sipping Merlot.

  102. I talked my dad out of seeing Captain Phillips. I’m glad to see I was right.

  103. We have a copy of Sideways. Couldn’t make it through fifteen minutes of it without falling asleep.

    By the way, I’m still dead.

  104. Have you seen White Dog yet? It’s Kristy McNichols finest work.

    False. The Pirate Movie is Kristy McNichols finest work.

  105. Daylight was hilarious. Almost as good as The Day After Tomorrow.

  106. You don’t even have to rent it!

    http://youtu.be/JiKIDqtbEPc

  107. OMG, the full movie of Yellowbeard is on youtube.

    My evening? Planned.

  108. Y’all might like this.

    http://bmoviecast.com

  109. For Leon. Pretty sure it’s not Kristy McNichol.

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/e0ba09d6101d2ccb35e84afe0d769816/tumblr_mzexy97nsu1r9n0vbo1_500.jpg

  110. stagger stagger, crawl crawl.

    Go leon!

  111. Hotspur should see “12 Years a Slave”. Oscar material.

  112. Thanks Pepe, velly nice.

  113. Graham Chapman deserved an Oscar for Yellowbeard.

    He wuz robbed.

  114. Hotspur should see “12 Years a Slave”. Oscar material.

    I watched The Butler. I’ve had my fill of white guilt for the year.

  115. Fahrenheit 9/11 and Bowling for Columbine were excellent. And by excellent I mean dumber than señor Biden.

  116. Now watch this drive!

  117. Did you use autocorrect on Fahrenheit, MJ? I bet you did.

  118. Two girls one cup.

    A classic!

  119. I’m in the Delta Sky Lounge. It appears that there are two types of frequent travelers that use these things.

    1. Get drunk on free booze at 11:25 am.

    2. Try to look incredibly busy and stressed out, eleventy.

    I’m gonna go with 1 and have a free Bloody Mary.

  120. Probably Jay.

  121. Ask for a Roy Rogers with extra rum.

  122. Imma gonna head to the gym in a bit. Work at four.

    Booo hissss

  123. Have a free Ruby Red Squirt.

  124. Headed to the gym at noon or so. Super happy to have found the Kindle Cloud Reader. Now I can finish my book on flow analysis.

    Not that kind of flow, gutter-dweller.

  125. headed for the Pizza Ranch, for the lunchtime buffet. I will use 2 plates, to increase my lifting

    *tired

  126. If there isn’t a Ruby Red Squirt picture in the header along with a joke referencing your mom by the time I get off my second flight I’m going to be disappointed.

  127. You should do a flow analysis of Ruby Red Squirt.

  128. Trying to figure out where to get lunch. Really craving good New Mexican food.

  129. Oso, aren’t you in NM? Isn’t anything you eat there thereby qualified?

  130. New Mexican food is a scam.

  131. It’s better than Old Mexican food.

  132. Comment by Hotspur on January 17, 2014 11:52 am

    New Mexican food is a scam.

    It’s a conspiricy by Big Tortilla?

  133. Quote of the day:

    “The Army has long been criticized for being too big and lumbering – qualities that perhaps suited it all right for the conventional land wars of the past decade. Calls for a lighter, nimbler one haven’t made huge impacts yet on the institution. ”

    http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2014/01/16/the_us_military_is_slated_to_shed_150000_soldiers_can_it_still_go_to_war_with_so

    There’s a point where you’re not even wrong because you’re so far divorced from reality.

  134. “Lighter, nimbler” forces have a bad habit of getting overrun.

  135. My program manager brought her labrador retriever to work today. He’s a big sweetheart, but try pulling that in DC.

  136. You should bring in your barn cat, and call it your service cat.

  137. You should bring in your stink bugs.

  138. Comment by xbradtc on January 17, 2014 1:02 pm

    “Lighter, nimbler” forces have a bad habit of getting overrun.

    Yup.

    I love how we went from the 90s, where the end of the Cold War meant that we no longer needed a large army and the new way of warfare will involve small conflicts with limited troops, to the 2006, where Donald Rumsfeld was a moron for trying to turn the Army into a smaller, lighter force and we should all have listened to Colin Powell when he was calling for more troops, to 2014, where the end of Afghanistan and Iraq means that we no longer need a large army and the new ways of warfare will involve small conflicts with limited troops…

  139. *spots stink bugs on Leon’s pumpkins*

    *gets baseball bat

  140. I had a friend that works for the EPA she brings her baby to work.

    For real. They have a separate office for the baby.

  141. The barn cat is working in the barn, no way I’d take her off duty to come hang out here. She and the chickens are the only productive animals I’ve got.

  142. Now we know why Cyn hasn’t posted……….

    http://knuckledraggin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/drunk-woman-2.jpg

  143. I hope all of you invited to the Gilded Sasquatch’s 50th birthday party have remembered to eat before you arrive, as instructed.

    How dare you presume to eat out of Moochelle’s own pantry, the one which she actually pays to stock.

    Fucking cheap ass tightwad bint.

  144. I had a friend that works for the EPA she brings her baby to work.
    For real. They have a separate office for the baby.

    Get a government job. Get the real bennies. Only suckers work for capitalists.

  145. Get a government job. Get the real bennies. Only suckers work for capitalists.
    ————–
    It was only for six months but still. I thought it was kind of weird. But she’s in charge and they has the room.

  146. We have enough room spare here to run a full day care.

  147. And maybe a drug store.

  148. And a coffee shop with full bakery.

  149. How about a dry cleaners, a bowling alley, and a Home Depot?

  150. Pizza store? I’m in! Car will be bringing your food, so tip generously. She has to tip out, you know.

  151. Wonder what Car in will say about this.

    warning: link to New York Slimes
    http://is.gd/Rtp6W1

  152. Maybe a dry cleaner. Bowling alleys are a losing investment.

    You could put a Home Depot in the unsold-after-ten-years wooded lot adjacent to us.

  153. Friend of mine brings her Sheltie to work with her. She actually got the dog a job chasing geese of the well-manicured grounds – the dog has its own Contractor badge (with photo).

  154. If they want to keep buying coffee all day, but it doesn’t appear that is the case. Sounds like these folks need a community center. Why does the Korean community dislike it’s elderly so much it makes them hang out at a McDonalds?

  155. Thing is, there aren’t enough employees in the building to support any of those businesses. Maybe the day care, but that’s unlikely.

  156. We couldn’t even keep the vending machines here.

  157. Vending machines are a scam.

  158. There is a noxious thing I’ve noticed on public television here in Southern Clownifornia. There is an interstitial ad for some charity with an anodyne self-important name like “Feed The World” or “Bread For The Children” or something. It consists of a voiceover accompanied by quick cuts of still images. The usual crap is in there; you know, non-white kids grinning and shots of classrooms in the third world. But I very distinctly noticed a couple of bits of insane left-wing vanity. You see a child’s hand writing the name of Senator Barbara Mikulski. A bit of self-congratulatory wanking, yes Barbara? Did you twist some arms to get taxpayers to pay for this commercial? Even more bizarre is a quick still image of… freaking Sandra Slut. Oh, sorry. Fuck. Or Fluke. Whatever. Really? The woman best known for demanding free pills and condoms as a means of waging political war on conservatives has something to do with feeding starving masses? I thought children would be the last things she wanted around. Being punishments, sayeth the president.

  159. Maybe Obama will write an executive order that pays all employees minimum wage at our new magical office. Then it will work!

  160. Why does the Korean community dislike it’s elderly so much it makes them hang out at a McDonalds?

    Ageists! They won’t let them hang out at Korean places – go bother the gringos.

  161. How on earth are any masses starving? Why isn’t agriculture the first fucking thing we export to these people?

  162. Settled for a Freddy Burger. Dan is making tamales, tacos, and rice for dinner.

  163. Can I come over for dinner?

  164. My building needs a titty bar.

  165. Leon, all of our crops are genetically modified, and many of the countries won’t let them in. It’s all very political, but suffice it to say that Monsanto and Archer, Daniels, Midland, et al are evil evil companies.

  166. We can send heirloom seeds and teach them organic farming for all I care. It’s ludicrous to send food/$$ rather than teaching them how to feed themselves.

  167. and teach them organic farming

    And make them WORK for their food? GASP! Why would we expect them to do more for their free shit then our own people?

  168. America! Exporting dependency around the world!

  169. http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/2-Thessalonians-3-10/

    One of my favorite verses.

  170. >> How on earth are any masses starving?

    Because despots and tyrants use food as a weapon.

  171. Two step process, then.

    1) Kill despot/tyrant.
    2) Air-drop region specific copies of “Self Sufficient on 5 Acres”.

  172. That whole “topple the strongman” thing? Very cheap in terms of time/resources. Holding the ground is what’s pricey. Just keep toppling the head honcho the second he looks naughty and the lesson will eventually take.

  173. People don’t own their own land. They can’t grow crops.

  174. Or — and I know this is crazy talk — we could let failing cultures fail.

  175. Cultures that don’t value private property and capital formation deserve to fail, Jay.

    Eventually the ones that remain won’t suck.

  176. Eventually the ones that remain won’t suck.

    So the Chinese and Japanese dynasties that lasted for centuries were okay? The monarchies of England and Spain? Compared to these examples, our Republic is still a budding experiment.

  177. Or — and I know this is crazy talk — we could let failing cultures fail.

    The only problem there is those culture’s only export products tends to be failure and violence.

  178. I’d rather live under any given emperor of China or Japan than whatever passes for government in Haiti.

    The only problem there is those culture’s only export products tends to be failure and violence.

    Is containment an option?

  179. I’m just pretty sure all our experiments with building nations have failed, whereas our experiments with breaking them are typically quite successful.

  180. And sending food doesn’t appear to do us much good either, because we’re still evil.

  181. Is containment an option?

    Just as expensive as “holding the ground”.

    I’d rather live under any given emperor of China or Japan

    A serf is a serf is a serf, doesn’t matter if it is an Emperor, Dictator, Democrat, or a King.

  182. because we’re still always evil

    Fixt.

  183. I’m not even sure what we’re arguing here anymore.

    My argument was that we shouldn’t be sending money or food to anyone, and that we should at best be teaching the ones that respect private property how to farm.

    We have tried and failed to build nations because our population has no stomach for it, and isn’t any money for it anyway because we spent all of it already on penis pumps for old people. Until and unless we as a nation decide that our priority really and truly is the Pax Americana, we’re wasting out time, blood, and treasure on it.

  184. And now I have to leave, I’m sure I’m fundamentally wrong in some way and you’ll all be kind enough to let me know.

  185. Technology. Technology is the answer.

    http://i.imgur.com/TZB6gyC.gif

  186. http://i.imgur.com/2vBs1tu.gif

  187. Comment by leoncaruthers on January 17, 2014 4:16 pm

    I agree with what you said. No argument from me on those points.

  188. No arguments?? Well sheeeeeoooooot.

    *puts popcorn away*

  189. I’m sure I’m fundamentally wrong in some way

    Of course you are, because you are a conservative white cis male, who probably likes limburger cheese.

  190. I lost a close tag around here somewhere – anybody seen one lying around?

  191. Disturbing

  192. And,,,,,I lost another close tag.

  193. Disturbing

    Yep.

    {{shudders}}

  194. This is probably old, but I just saw it, so I’m poating it.

    NSFW

    http://tinyurl.com/cbno3u2

  195. Wait! There’s popcorn?

  196. Orwell will have a tags and tinyurl clinic sometime. Don’t worry!

  197. Cyn, are you going to do a poat in honor of the First Wookie’s birthday?

  198. Wait! There’s popcorn?

    Not any more – she put it away.

    Now be a good boy and go get me a plain pizza with extra cheese.

  199. Cyn, are you going to do a poat in honor of the First Wookie’s birthday?

    For the love of all that is holy and just, absofuckinglutely not.

  200. tinyurl is a scam.

  201. In fact, my brain was Wookie-free until you said something. Dammit.

  202. Cheese pizza? Definitely a scam.

    Plus it’s boring. Little kids eat cheese pizza.

  203. Try “is.gd”

  204. Or don’t. See if I care!

    *stomps off to bedroom*
    *slams door*
    *orders deep-dish double meat & cheese pizza with a hint of anchovies*
    *And a Diet Root Beer*

  205. Someone get Cyn a Thor injection, stat!

  206. For Cyn only, no one else look!

    http://is.gd/UFl8O6

  207. This hot chick just texted me that I have a dinner date with her at 7:45. Gotta go!

  208. And: Go, PATS!

    (I’m pretty sure they’re gonna lose, though.)

  209. I don’t know about that, AD. Belichick is pretty good at coming up with a gameplan to stop another team, or outscore them. I don’t think they will outscore the Broncos, though. They will have to stop them.

  210. Obama was invited to speak to a gathering of the Organization of Arab States. He was prepped and ready to go until the lat minute when he found out they were meeting in Algeria. He canceled on the grounds that he didn’t speak Algerian. He flunked Algebra twice.

  211. I’m not sure who to take in the SF/Seattle game. I keep leaning to SF, but Seattle has stopped a lot of teams this year, just not SF.

  212. For Cyn only, no one else look!

    http://is.gd/UFl8O6

    Booooo!

  213. Booooo!

    Aaah! Ghost Tits! :)

  214. Hi Cyn!

  215. I’m not ashamed to say it…I kind of miss you.

  216. Orwell will have a tags and tinyurl clinic sometime. Don’t worry!

    I’ve got my eye on you, mister.

  217. I miss Miss Cyn. And her bacon.

  218. Via Huffington Post:

    Michelle Obama turns 50 today — yes, the first lady was born on January 17, 1964. But you would never know it.

    That’s because Michelle, who just might be the coolest woman to ever occupy the White House, knows how to do aging right. She doesn’t deny that she’s getting older, and she embraces it while still remaining vibrant, dynamic and young at heart. Oh, and did we mention cool?

    Ten bucks says tonight Mrs. Sasquatch-On-The-Potomac serves kool-aid at her party.

  219. Good evening, people whose birthday cards for Michelle Obama must’ve got lost in the mail or something.

  220. people whose birthday cards for Michelle Obama must’ve got lost in the mail

    That’s only because I sent mine to the National Zoo.

  221. We have most of our house back.
    Got a big one out of here today.

  222. >>>Got a big one out of here today

    I left a big one at work. Great feeling. Lighter.

  223. Got a big one out of here today
    —-
    I left a big one at work. Great feeling. Lighter.

    Scott’s house must be awfully small.

  224. Afternoon.

  225. I always feel better after a big one.

  226. Today I built seven (7) of these:

    http://tinyurl.com/bm49fw2

  227. Manticore: We need Taco Bells. Here’s a helpy-helper for you.

    Me: *Walks Helpy-Helper through build 1*

    Helpy-Helper: *Punctuates each step with ‘And theeennnn. . . .?’

    Me: *Walks Less Helpy-Helper through build 2*

    Helpy-Helper: . . . And theeennnn. . . .?

    Me: *. . . Build 3. . . *

    Rinse and repeat

    The day eventually ends.

    Manticore: Wow. You guys did good today.

    Me: Yeah, well. It wasn’t easy with Short Bus on my team.

  228. You call your boss Manticore? Heh heh.

  229. This place is really strange. We get this post using both interstitial and anodyne:

    Comment by George Orwell on January 17, 2014 2:33 pm
    There is a noxious thing I’ve noticed on public television here in Southern Clownifornia. There is an interstitial ad for some charity with an anodyne self-important name like “Feed The World” or “Bread For The Children” or something…………..

    Followed by this:

    Comment by Pupster on January 17, 2014 3:10 pm
    My building needs a titty bar.

    Start feeling stupid, then relief knowing I still kinda fit in. Cracks me up.

  230. Jewstin,
    How the hell did *Helpy-Helper* NOT get gone in the lay-off?

  231. Hot tub was nice but annoying kids weren’t.

  232. You left out “Ghost Tits” Pepe

  233. Bought a cheap sound bar at WalMart. Just watched The Hobbit. Watching The Avengers. Found out my dentist is selling his practice. I’m blaming 0care because it feels right.

  234. Bread For The World. Eric’s been watching Rick Steves.

  235. Hey Oso, can you talk Sam’s Club into carrying ammo? ’cause that would really make my day/week/month. Picturing pallets of 5.56/.223 and .308 at good prices makes my heart go pitter-pat.

  236. My anodyne building needs an interstitial titty bar. With laser beams and missile launchers.

  237. Seriously, Mr. Bont, but what the floating feathered fuck is Sandra Slut doing in that Bread for the World guilt trip commercial? Maybe if it were a commercial for sending marital aids and IUDs to Burkina Faso.

  238. Meijer hasn’t stocked pistol ammunition in years. Maybe since 2007 or so. Haven’t checked to see if the good stuff is being stocked at Cabela’s yet.

  239. http://tinyurl.com/nfs7gb8

    Makes me want to drive around Maryland.

  240. Helpy-Helper did get walking papers. The company is giving notice for each wave of lay-offs so people have time to look for work.

    Obnoxiously everybody I have spoken to intends to stay until their termination date, and collect their full unemployment before looking for anything new.

    Here’s a quote from a cafeteria guy:

    “Imma milk that sumbitch. I can’t wait for my unemployment checks to start rolling in.”

  241. I honestly never noticed Sandy Fucks-A-Lot in those spots before. I’ll have to keep my eye out for that next time it’s on.

  242. Pepe, I wish! We’re in the process of kicking out Senor Pino’s.

  243. I’m not planning to milk UI if I get laid off, but I will seriously consider a career change, and may take the time to retrain.

  244. Cafeteria Guy’s plan is to tinker with his Jeep and play Sky Rim until he runs out of benefits.

  245. My plan is to learn how to weld and plumb. I’ll probably start keeping more livestock.

  246. I figure also knowing Spanish and German won’t hurt if we move back to Amish country to save money.

  247. Mexican Amish Country?

  248. In Goshen, IN, the farmers are Amish and Mennonite, and the farmhands are Mexican. If I want to go to Mass, it’ll be in Spanish.

  249. The thing that bugs me is that they are stringing all the competent people along. It was obvious in the meeting that we were the keepers. I know my job will end sometime between now and June. Unless I decide to bail out and forfeit severance, than I just have to wait and see what the hell they’re doing.

  250. Then.

    /Hotspur

  251. Jewstin, the Space Shuttle contractors did that here. Bonuses to stay until the end, then dropped like a hot potato.

  252. I had forgotten how much fun The Pirate Movie was.

  253. I had forgotten how much fun The Pirate Movie was.

    I knew it wasn’t just me.

  254. Goshen, IN used to have a right nice airshow.

  255. I fixed a washing machine by cleaning out a filter.

    Sorry Maytag dude.

    (jesus plumbing things stink)

  256. Leon, I think you are one of the few non-motorhead types who would seriously enjoy metal fabricating.

    I can see you with a little home machine-shop in a garage or something.

    The town my store was in was lousy with little garage machinists. A little piece of central-CT industrial history, hanging on as family traditions.

  257. I’m pretty good with a lathe and metal cutting. Not bad at soldering either. I figure knowing how to weld is a logical step. If it comes up, I might drag my brother-in-law with me to the class. He’s going to be 18 soon and it might be a good chance to bond with him.

  258. “We are all orphans!”

  259. Good to have basic skills, Leon. I’m trying to learn how to program and run a small CNC mill to make knife parts. Real machine shops are crazy now. Everything is CNC. There’s huge pressure to be efficient. Some guy was really happy he figured out how to save 10 seconds per part. I was like 10 seconds, why the big deal? Turns out they make 50,000 of the parts per year, so he saved 138 hours.

  260. I just took a little whirl of small garage machine shop pics online.

    I can almost smell the oil and solvents. Delightful.

  261. My ex-father-in-law is (was?) a machinist. He made a few thousand parts a week with a CNC. At home he made hand-crafted fly-fishing rods.

  262. One of my childhood friend’s dad made brooms by hand. I watched the whole process one day and found it interesting. I’d need a schtick to make any real money on them though.

  263. Did anybody tell anybody else to give up on trying to bring an old fad back today?

  264. I am happy with the trade we fell into.

    Even happier that nobody else does it.

  265. had to reseal the gasket but I think I’m the man now

  266. Oso!

    http://is.gd/7FDP1J

  267. I worked at a factory that stamped parts. Crazy incongruent parts. Figuring out progressive stamping dies was fun.

  268. I wonder how hard it would be to learn leatherworking. Make bridles for Leon’s horses and at least one pair of stompy boots for me.

  269. Romy is into leather. I’ll be in my bunk.

  270. (Psst. Actual rocket scientist wondering how difficult it must be to learn leatherworking. SHHH.)

  271. you need water and the will to stamp the leather hard.

  272. Leatherworking requires internalizing a lot of advanced maths that are probably beyond your abilities, little lady.

  273. I have done some leather upholstery it is rather easy. Getting stitches symmetrical was the hardest trick. Doing art work was hard but I don’t care if what I sit on is art.

  274. Meaning I failed miserably at making designs on leather and was quite happy with good stitching on plain leather.

  275. I made a few leather belts/wallets/patches as a kid in Boy Scouts. I dropped the hobby when I discovered girls. If only there was a way to combine the two.

  276. A neighbor of mine is an electrician, by trade. As for hobbies, he is a pilot, skydiver, and A&P mechanic.
    Taught himself to weld(Mig, Tig, Stick), Plasma-Torch, and bend tin. He has, in his hanger/garage, a sheet-metal shear, roller, and brake. He also has a mill, lathe, punch-press, and a 10-ton press. The guy can build absolutely anything out of stainless or aluminum.

    He can do amazing things with firearms metal…

  277. I have some old baseball cards.

  278. Electricians are the king of the trades Chris.
    Roofers, mud daubers and concrete finishers are the peons.

  279. Leatherworking requires internalizing a lot of advanced maths that are probably beyond your abilities, little lady.

    That’s what I have Mr. RFH and Rocketboy for.

    “Honey, figure out what the cube root of moo divided by the thickness of this sheet of leather differentiated over time by the diameter of the awl needle for me, there’s a dear.”

  280. CUBE root of moo? Does that work with goat hide too? Well, shit. That…explains a lot of trouble I’ve been having with, well, unnatural…

    Look, just, nevermind.

    *lights three black candles, starts chainsaw

  281. Obamajob tomorrow. G’night

  282. http://is.gd/036rkz

  283. For some reason, I was reminded of how Orson Bean found God,
    and I thought I’d throw it out here.
    http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2008/12/how-orson-bean-found-god.php
    I always liked this story…

  284. My BiL does leatherworking as a hobby. He has a few Blue Ribbons at the State Fair. Pretty expensive hobby. Wallets and holsters.

  285. I’m more into latex than leather, but hey, whatevs.

  286. I like leatherworking.

  287. Roamy and/or Laura?

    http://tinyurl.com/mq99ack

  288. blergy.

  289. Nice customers tonight, but it was slow.

    One lady kissed my hand as she left. lol.

  290. Thanks for that, Crispy. That’s pretty much how I got there, too.

  291. Hello, Good Evening, etc. Hope everybody is doing well.

    A very dear old friend stopped by and brought wine and cheese and we sat on the patio and talked and laughed. It was very good.

    That is my report, which I’m sure you were all awaiting anxiously. Now everyone can relax.

  292. Sean,
    I love that story, as it gives me hope for myself.
    I’m trying, and i hope to make it, but I’m not there yet…

  293. I am glad for Lips friends.And wine

  294. Wiser, what’s the matter?

    Can’t sleep before your big day?

  295. Good luck tomorrow, Wiser, for a good show and no bleeps.

  296. >>I like leatherworking.

    *thud*

  297. Early bedtime for me. I’m a single mom this weekend, and I’m beat.

  298. http://youtu.be/0RMoH55T-oI

  299. (((Hugs))) for ChrisP and Sean.

  300. nite roamster

  301. There’s a good Brit show about the history of military supply logistics called “How To Go To War” on PBS right now.

  302. Thanks, osita.

  303. I am glad for Lips friends. And wine

    Why, so am I!

    Hey Vman, it sounds like you are really enjoying Texas, si? How about Zeke – he still making friends?

  304. for lipstick nobody else!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n92ATE3IgIs

  305. Dan keeps watching Mexican TV. Stupid clown with a pink wig!!! He says he watches for the half clothed chicas.

  306. ¡AY AY AY, NO ES BUENO!

  307. Dave – *smooch

    that is so nice, heh.

  308. I used to get a kick out of watching Sabado Gigante.

  309. Last Latin show I watched regularly was Xuxa.

  310. What is that?

  311. Insanely hot blonde Brazilian chick hosting a “children’s” show. Back in the ’90s.

  312. She’s no Captain Kangaroo.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZtb0mC3NyY

  313. Does she take off her ropa?

  314. Morning, pederasts!

    Been trying to learn how to fly an airplane again and just now able to come up for air.

    Have seen no news, no twitter, no Ace for the last two weeks.

    At least the weather in Houston has been nice. I can get used to this in the winter.

    Fun time in the airport Sheraton tonight. There’s a convention in the hotel! It’s a organization of gay people that work in drag shows that morphed into a larger gay community service thing (don’t ask me how I know this). When I got out of the simulator this morning I walked to the elevator and saw a guy with a robe, crown and scepter walking into the restaurant.

    A very large contingent of gay men were checking in, so I wandered over to the hotel activity board.

    It is http://www.ersicss.org. And it is their ‘Royalty Court’ coronation.

    I have a couple of gay friends and i have never seen anything gayer than this. Drag queen central.

    Tonight they left after the ‘coronation’ to go to a bar called ‘Neon Boots’. The bartender said they will be at the hotel bar in force tomorrow night. I’ll try and get pics.

  315. Should warn you: the link to their website is a ride to crazy town.

  316. Oh yeah, they want to flounce around, we want pics.

  317. Zeke is well Lips

    Phat I am in Westchase (8 and Westheimer) What hotel are you in? I look you up this weekend. We can get really really drunk. or not.

  318. The Sheraton West in the Energy corridor is closest to me. Galleria is next, Bush is the farthest from me but maybe an hour away. Beer or Bourbon is on me at any of them.

  319. 8th and Wisenheimer

    Haven’t said wisenheimer in years.

  320. Zeke,

    My schedule is a bit weird this week. I work from 4:00 pm – 10 pm now through Monday. Tues and Weds are my days off.

    If your in town send me an email at transphat88 the g thing. I’m buying, so get in touch.

  321. I’m at the Sheraton on JFK ave. About 2 mins from the airport.

  322. http://tinyurl.com/ke9vce8

  323. Email out Phat

    Lips do you know Westheimer? It is a wonderful road, I do not think anything in the world is not on it.

  324. Vman, nah, I was just remembering old school stuff. May be a regional thing, like when Dad says “okay, who is being a wisenheimer and needs a grounding?”

    Probably very much a regional thing.

  325. Off to bed gentle peeps.

    See you in 8-10 hours, tylenol pm willing.

  326. Heh Lips
    Weisenheimer is universal.
    I bought my Les Paul today and a Crate Amp. My amp sucks, I need to take it back and see how much I loose in a day.

  327. Vmax,

    Nothing yet on the gmail. Will check in the am.

  328. When you’re a star, I know you’ll fix everything
    Now you know you’re sure lookin’ pretty
    Rock the derp just a little faster
    Now I know you are the master

  329. I dropped the hobby when I discovered girls. If only there was a way to combine the two.

    ‘It puts the lotion on its skin.’

  330. I followed Phat’s link. Get a pic of Empress Pittypat Magnolia, that oughta be a good one.

  331. ‘It puts the lotion on its skin.’

    I was thinking something more like this, but to each their own.

  332. Well. That is pretty much the other end of your usual models, Leon.

    Also NEW POAT BITCHES


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