Hello furry friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
I wrote this song for MJ’s Bachelor Party, to which I also did not get invited.
*
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Our features for today are naturally attached to a glamour model, musician, and reality show participant. Born October 2, 1985 in Essex, England, UK, EU, Earth, she measures 32FF-27-32, 5 ft 3 in and 112 lb. Please prepare a nice fruit salad and welcome, Miss Casey Batchelor!
Speaking of Bachelor, best wishes to GND. Please be sure to toast the happy couple in the comments.
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She seems nimble
Best wishes to the happy couple. So what did you decide on for GND to make for your first sandwich as a married man?
Can we really call her GND after the weekend? I mean, that would be a little weird. Girl, formerly known as GND…GFKAGND seems unwieldy. Girl In House…GIH? Mrs. MJ?
I wonder what she wrote on her Trapper Keeper.
**puts the black and white bra and panty set on wish list**
Nice job, Pupster.
And from the last poat So apparently wanting to go to The Angry Birds movie is not an adequate reason to adopt a child. Who knew?
Hahahahahaha. For every Beauty and the Beast, a Cat in the Hat.
A lass with mass.
112lb? You gotta be kidding me.
>>>112lb? You gotta be kidding me.
She’s 4’8″, evidently.
At least she was born in the ’80’s. Something about finding out these girls were born in the ’90’s really is disconcerting.
Yeah, she’s old enough to meet the “half your age + 6” rule for me, which is nice. But I’m gonna guess her weight at a healthy 135#.
>> the “half your age + 6” rule
This is a rule?
Except for this comment, everything on this poat is irrelephant.
https://imgur.com/gallery/5vMI2
This is a rule?
It’s mostly the youngest age of a woman you can be seen with and not be embarrassed about it in polite company. Guideline.
I’m going to meet Mare!!!! SQUUUUUEEEEE
That’s just sad.
wakey wakey
When you look into her eyes you can see some human qualities. I wonder how she managed that AND a fabulous rack.
She’s ugly. Nice job weirdo dog.
Should I go to my cult meeting this morning? I’m torn.
Registering for college is confusing now. Gah. Trying to get my daughter registered. I think the old way was easier.
Right now she’s in the Liberal arts & Sciences college and I want her to switch. I don’t know how important that is now, if she can just take the courses necessary and switch later?
Liberal arts is a scam.
College is all about change.
Majors, courses, sports, gender identities….
She’ll be fine
Of course, Scott, but I don’t know how important it is that she change her school RIGHT now. She’s going to make taking rigorous courses from the get go, so I don’t care what her “major” is at this point.
There’s a major to make liberals now? Thought they were born that way, with a teat in their mouth.
Morning check in. No students today as I am going to the state conference for Continuing Education teachers (and science one specifically) and giving a 60 min talk on making bricks without straw.
If I had known this was the price for competence, I would have figured out a way to be…oh who am I kidding, While I hate this type of thing, I can;t do anything other than my best.
At this moment, Hannah is very conservative (in the young person way). She actually gets into political fights on social media – and comes to me for advice.
I notice that about conservative kids. They like to get advice and facts. Unlike their counterparts, who just bark out what they heard.
Jay, since you are in the pocket of Big Oil and the Koch brothers, your comments have no validity.
MJ, where is your bachelor party, and why weren’t we invited? We all got invited to the bachelorette party, but blog decorum dictates that we guys must decline.
Think she’ll go for it? I think she thought college was going to be more fun than this.
Fall Semester
CHM 1220 — (PS) General Chemistry I: Cr. 4
CHM 1230 — General Chemistry I Laboratory: Cr. 1
ENG 1020 — (BC) Introductory College Writing: Cr. 3
MAT 2010 — Calculus I. Cr. 4
Competency Requirement: Cr. 3
Total credits: 15
Winter Semester
BIO 1510: (LS) Basic Life Mechanisms. Cr. 4
CHM 1240 — Organic Chemistry I: Cr. 4
CHM 1250 — Organic Chemistry I Laboratory: Cr. 1
Intermediate Composition Course (IC): Cr. 3
MAT 2020 — Calculus II: Cr. 4
Total credits: 16
She asked if she could take a yoga class.
I had a nice belly laugh over that one.
I can guarantee her friends going to central or SVU aren’t going to be taking anything that looks like that.
*prepares for rebellion
Honestly. Kids today. I’m up against the pop view on stuff. I think I need Leon to come speak with her.
Whoop de do!
http://is.gd/vqBlEF
While I am in favor of Yoga, I don’t think you should take a Yoga class for college credit.
The only things one should learn in college are things that will give you a future and a career. Rest are personal interests that should be pursued on evenings and weekends
Scott, is that the Banglar Party Van?
Those things are unbreakable!
I will need the 300k and 400k photos in a few years.
Car In, taking Calc II and O-Chem in the same semester seems like a recipe for disaster, unless she is one of those people who can just “get” complex summation series and multiple differentiations and derivitives AND Multiple synthesis reactions
Intramural Yoga
Most semesters I had 2 labs to go along with my classes. Then there were the ROTC classes and Leadership Labs we did. And a part time job every other weekend. Two 12 hour days in a hospital pharmacy. Now that I look back on it I realize now why I got more pussy in high school than college.
Car in, did you force your kids to do a cannonball off of the high dive I to the deep end the first time they ever saw a swimming pool?
It’s the recommended courses for first sememster for BioCHem .
I did orgo and calc are different enough that I’d think nothing of doing both in a semester. I literally never had a semester without a math and a physical science course. Sometimes multiples of each. She’s either got the brain for it or she doesn’t. Better to find out early.
Yoga would be a complete waste of tuition. Get a dvd.
Also it’s a sex cult.
Happy Friday Big Boobs!! That was a lovely song in honor of MJ. Just wondering if that’s the sick he uses for ummm, well, er, I mean….🤓
Dammit!!! SOCK! Not sick…stupid auto correct thinks it knows what I’m trying to type. If I wanted to type sick, I would have!!!!!!
I did orgo and calc are different enough that I’d think nothing of doing both in a semester.
Concur.
Though organic chemistry sucks, at least as it was taught to me.
She has an uncle who is willing and able to tutor her as well. He’ll be just a few miles away and really wants to see her succeed. Plus, he likes tutoring.
>> one of those people who can just “get” complex summation series and multiple differentiations and derivitives AND Multiple synthesis reactions
Well, yeah, but what do you do *after* breakfast?
You need to learn organic chemistry to make good meth, so that ought to motivate her.
This weekend is turning into a shitstorm of epic proportions.
One bartender quit – but had requested off this weekend anyway. I was scheduled to work with a girl on Sat who had bartended a whole ONE time and hated it (she isn’t a bartender). Well, that girl is refusing.
And I bartend alllllll weeekend. fml
I’ll come out and tell you all of my troubles.
Should take about a minute.
Would you?
She has an uncle who is willing and able to tutor her as well.
*** True Stories of geoff’s Tutoring/Teaching Experience ***
Me: Well son, you’re having problems with math, huh? Let me help you out.
Son: *bursts into tears*
Me: Sigh. Guess we’re going to sign you up for tutoring club.
…
Me: Well, daughter, you’re having problems with math, huh? Let me help you out.
Daughter: *bursts into tears*
Me: Sigh. Guess we’re going to sign you up for tutoring club.
…
Me: So, Prof. L., how’d that course I taught at DU go?
Prof. L.: It was great – when the department saw how good it was, they decided to make it a permanent part of the curriculum!
Me: Great! So when do I teach it again?
Grad Students: *burst into tears*
Me: Sigh. Guess we’re going to sign you up with Prof. L.
My boy has the same reaction when Paula sends him to me for advice with his math. He is not a fan of the maths. Or my method of tutoring which involves making him do most of the work.
I actually would if I didn’t already have plans. 😦
Why is Carin’s daughter only taking 3 classes? She’s not commuting is she?
Oh, nice boobs, Pups.
John Boehner can kiss my ass.
Have a great day!
Maybe I just did Calc II differently. But I did 2 semesters of Calculus by mail while I was in the Army (my “Prof” was from Northwestern), I got tutored by the AF LCol who was the CO of the forward air control who was on detached duty to Ft Sill. He was really good, but was a total martinet.
I could not imagine trying to do it with all of the memorization that OChem needed
I’m not sure what “competency requirement” is – but I assume it’s some other class [insert class here] sort of thing. That would be 15 credit hours. She’s not commuting.
Concur on the boobage, Puppeh
HAPPY LAST DAY AS A SINGLE MAN, MJ!
Calculus was my downfall freshman year. It met 3 times a week around 3 in the afternoon. My labs and other courses meant that was the only time available. Even with a tutor I scraped by with a C both semesters.
Even with a tutor I scraped by with a C both semesters.
If I’d been your tutor, you’d have gotten those C’s through the tears.
Just makes the age threshold for Not Creepy On Age Grounds. (I’m sure it fails the other tests though.)
Calc 1 was a nightmare for me. Calc 2 wasn’t much better. I actually did much better with Calc 3 years later when I took it online.
Honestly, if she’s taking calc 1 and chemistry, adding anything else really intensive would probably be too much.
http://xkcd.com/314/
My tutor was too nice. Jean Sestito. I remember her name because she was thrilled that she wasn’t working at the envelope factory that summer. That intrigued me so I got more details. Soon my older brother and I were working for her dad, Rudy Sestito, making envelopes for a little more than $10/hour which was a lot at a time minimum wage was about $3.35.
But did you find $20?
I didn’t do well in Calc either. Still irritates me. Stupid weed out courses.
Calculus kicked my ass.
I’m still not convinced that calculus is math.
Calc 1 was a real life lesson about what happens when you jock your way through HS just barely learning your math well enough to pass the test and then forgetting about it. I dropped it on the last possible drop day and repeated it the next semester with a better professor. Calc 2 was hard as fuck for me but I’d finally made the transition from approaching school like a jock to being a semi-serious scholar. Got an “A” in calc 3 which I was real proud of. Then I ficked up and took Boolian Algebra……
Got that confidence level and ego back down there where it belonged.
I did quite well in calc, I liked it pretty well. Analysis was much more interesting (proving calculus).
Worst Big Bachelor Boob Party Comments Evar! LOLOL
I was told there would be no maths.
Here is a short film of me doing calculus
http://is.gd/aLJZLl
There is no math. It’s calculus!
Threres no math. Only some nerds reminiscing about when they learnt them some math. Car in started it by telling us how she’s going about teaching her daughter how to hate college.
I hate all the “Algebra is useless, you don’t use it in the real world” arguments. It teaches kids how to think, and abstract reasoning. Very important.
I agree Pepe. If they get nothing else out of it other than the concept of relationships, that when one set of numbers change it usually causes another set of numbers to change in a pattern that can be recognized and possibly even predicted, then it’s beneficial. One reason our country is so fucking fucked is that a huge segment of the electorate thinks shit just happens randomly and cannot discern a fucking pattern. Like for instance, every time Obama opens his mouth you’re gonna hear a lie. There’s a fucking pattern there.
Damn……I just went back and read that shit and I kinda sounded like Mare. Also, COCK!!!
One reason our country is so fucking fucked is that a huge segment of the electorate thinks shit just happens randomly and cannot discern a fucking pattern. Like for instance, every time Obama opens his mouth you’re gonna hear a lie. There’s a fucking pattern there.
This could be a mare’s musing if it had a few fewer fucks.
Car in started it by telling us how she’s going about teaching her daughter how to hate college.
I’m really determined that I don’t have a daughter who said THE BEST DAYS OF HER LIFE were in college.
That’s always a bad sign.
I can’t go to work. I have a dog on my feet.
I wouldn’t say that the best years of my life were in college, but they weren’t bad. Of course, I stuffed four years of education into five years at an institution that has about as much fucking ivy growing on it’s hallowed halls as your average McDonald’s.
Scott, that guy even kinda looks like you
>> I can’t go to work. I have a dog on my feet.
Carin, like this?
http://www.lunarbaboon.com/comics/soft.html
Yes, it’s sorta like this.
You stupid nerds and your math, shut up!
Sweet little MJ is getting married and he needs our love and support. We should be giving him advice, complimenting his life choices *cough* Bert and Ernie*cough* and doing group prayer that he doesn’t eff this up.
This is a toast for GND:
Here’s to the men that we love,
Here’s to the men that we lust,
But the men that we love aren’t the men that we lust,
So to hell with the love, here’s to lust!
I think it conveys what she’s probably thinking.
Here’s to our wives and lovers.
May they never meet.
I’m baaaack……
in the hospital.
Woke up around 4:00 a.m., feeling quite nauseous, so Mr. TiFW drove me a few blocks to the ER. Turns out that my white blood cell count -which had been behaving quite beautifully the entire time I was here before – had suddenly jumped to almost twice the upper level of normal (20K, as opposed to 11K)
I’m still waiting for a room, but I will be on the same floor as I was before, so at least the nurses know my history.
Fingers crossed TinFW
Ugh, that sucks, TiFW! Hopefully it’s a small thing!
!!!
Give ’em hell, TiFW!
A toast for GND…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
RUN!
P.S. I’ll meet you out back in a little red convertible with an open bottle of booze.
Sorry to hear that Teresa.
Shhh, we’re sleeping…
We stopped at a giant garden center today. On a wall inside was a sign that read “Why do you like to garden?”. Under the sign was a bunch of short notes written on yellow stickies. It looked like a good source of funny so we walked over and started reading.
– It relaxes me
– I like being outdoors
– It gives me a chance to teach my kids about nature
blah blah blah
then we find it
– I like killing things
Cause I can sell the produce for Hookers and Blow?
At 0600 this morn, I heard the sliding door to the deck open, then Anita yelling;
Get away from that! Leave the tree alone, you bastards!
Looked out to see the elk just staring at her like “WUT?”
They don’t seem to be real scared of little humans…
!!!
I learned from TV shows that an elevated white blood cell count indicates an infection. (Is that right?)
Who needs college when you have TV.
>>>We stopped at a giant garden center today.
That’s nice.
I just came back from an ordeal, a.k.a. going to Costco. This places is always busy. What’s worse, the parking lot goes uphill as you leave the store with your giant cart full of crap which is bad because I’m old and weak now.
Well, here’s a toast to MJ’s virginity. It was fun while it lasted.
It’s graduation weekend. The town is mobbed.
All the mommies and daddies parading around with their special snowflakes.
And here’s a toast to GND. I actually own a little red convertible. Don’t fall for Cyn’s lies.
Prayers up TiFW
So I make 2 comments in a row and then you feel it necessary to make FOUR comments in a row to show me who’s boss?
Bart, count your dick.
Graduation in April?
Huh.
A toast to GND:
Don’t give up on lesbianism just yet.
SALUD!
It’s a little early this year. But classes started earlier last fall. Sooner the fuckers are gone, the better.
Yo ho ho and ten bottles of rum
CHUMPO, we’re making toasts to MJ or GND, your choice.
See the little sign hanging in the window “Abierto”?
It’s Chinese for “Open.”
Don’t fruit your beer. Salud! (Unless it’s a Messican beer or a Blue Moon)
Ann Arbor without the students ain’t half bad. Still full of liberal pricks, but they’re older and slower.
Our 26th Anniversary is May 19th. This AM, Dan tossed a tee at me and said today was Selfie Tee Day. It was a Nike Bobblehead Tee. TiTS2 people can attest to my Charlie Brown head. Dan may not live to 26 yrs.
I wondered why you were having a hard time keeping the tiara straight.
*runs*
*pulls football away
*snickers with Linus
Here’s to a real trend setter! A guy who was bi when Metro was still a Berlin Song. A guy who makes money, stacks and stacks of money, and his neighbor doesnt even mind the printing press at the lakehouse.
MJ is so far out front that it takes a double extension on the strap-on just to shake and bake the plum turn-over.
He’s passionate and kind and particular to what his Associates in Thiland charge per hour for “deep tissue consulting”. His boss doesnt mond his time over seas because MJ gets the Job done. However accounting wants to know what a “basket Dance” is and why MJ keeps billing for trips “around The World” when he’s only visiting one island at a time.
He’s intelegent. He has somehow convinced a woman that he has a plan for the future. That nust so happens to include a bondsman in Key Largo, an attorney in Panama And a Plastic surgeon/bank mangager in Switzerland.
He’s a trailblazer! He’s been blazing Hotspur’s Trail of Happiness for years.
Thats a true friend.
Loose my number mister. The Feds sure havnt so I’m just looking out for you.
GND, well, PT Barnum is as sentient now as he was in the way back. I guess there is one born every minute.
Good Lunch, Kids.
Pass the Pepto
Here’s to a real trend setter! A guy who was bi when Metro was still a Berlin Song. A guy who makes money, stacks and stacks of money, and his neighbor doesnt even mind the printing press at the lakehouse.
MJ is so far out front that it takes a double extension on the strap-on just to shake and bake the plum turn-over.
He’s passionate and kind and particular to what his Associates in Thiland charge per hour for “deep tissue consulting”. His boss doesnt mond his time over seas because MJ gets the Job done. However accounting wants to know what a “basket Dance” is and why MJ keeps billing for trips “around The World” when he’s only visiting one island at a time.
He’s intelegent. He has somehow convinced a woman that he has a plan for the future. That nust so happens to include a bondsman in Key Largo, an attorney in Panama And a Plastic surgeon/bank mangager in Switzerland.
He’s a trailblazer! He’s been blazing Hotspur’s Trail of Happiness for years.
Thats a true friend.
Loose my number mister. The Feds sure havnt so I’m just looking out for you.
GND, well, PT Barnum is as sentient now as he was in the way back. I guess there is one born every minute.
Good Lunch, Kids.
Pass the Pepto
You meant “lose”.
Hahahaha
Only CHUMPO could have come up with that.
*raises glass*
MJ!!!!!! May all your ups and downs be between the sheets!!!!!
I need this http://is.gd/pCluBK
I wonder if Sean got immunity by trying to eat a TMP orange from an atrium tree. I can’t wait for the next meat up. When I get to meet Mare and we Aloha.
Mare does not meet. It’s in the rules.
Scott, Dan needz that. We were nearly hit 4X going to Panda today. Unlike Wiser, we have drivers that don’t understand the concept of STOP signs, let alone 4 way stops. We were cheering for the illegal UTurn guy to run over the jaywalking POS this afternoon on our way home. Unfortunately for Pepe, Tucson has worse drivers than we do.
Well done Mr. Chumpo! HAHA!
*pats Leon on the head and gives him a carb-free cookie*
http://nos.nl/artikel/2102249-video-na-crash-noorse-helikopter-zweven-rotorbladen-nog-door-de-lucht.html
Mare said she has stories for me. We have a meet in our future.
You just keep on keepin’ that dream alive and don’t listen to anybody else, Osogirliebear!
Oso will hallucinate a Mare. She’ll take pictures of the “meatup” and then post them.
And she will be alone in them.
The only toast I ever learned.
gh
When God made men he made them from string.
He had too much so he gave them a little thing.
When God made women he made them from lace.
He didn’t have enough so he left little space.
Hit that space, MJ.
Brad, did you see the story about the Russian guy who called in an air strike on himself?
PG knows Mare is real. I believe.
Is it open bar/tapas night?
Tap ass night.
Mare knows a guy I know in real life. Therefore, I Believe.
I did, Scott. All over the place.
Did you know one of the first Medals of Honor earned in Vietnam was for a Captain who did the same thing?
And survived!
I owe ALLMof my material to the Great Rodney Dangerpuss
All of it.
I’m sorry for the Typo, Leon. I will re-double my efforts.
We have to be at the farmers market by 5:30 AM.
Tomorrow is going to suck.
Leon, I’m at the upscale bar tonight. You should come join me.
We could laugh at MJ’s wedding dress.
And eat fish sticks.
Tutor talk triggered me. My younger brother was Mr Math. He’s a freak. Off the charts freak. My HS Physics/Algebra 2 teacher wouldn’t help me, because I “Have Ralph at home.” My brother’s idea of tutoring “Any idiot could see that…” and “You’d have to be retarded not to know…”
I did, Scott. All over the place.
This demonstrates why knowing when and where to use a comma is very important.
So what major university does he have tenure at now?
We just got called in at 5 AM. Stupid WY/CO snow storm has delayed our Meat/Produce truck. 2016 is about Members WINNING. MET metrics are the lowest in the company for an ABQ Club. Fucker has drawn a target on our Clubs. Dan and I may lose our Sunday off, due to the alert. Dan had already called his mom to prep her for this wknd. Dementia sucks.
Lacrosse is fun to watch.
Carin, pull your kids from that gay shit.
PG, my brother is a scumbag lawyer. Baseball scholarship for College.
+1 for The Young Ones gif.
Good day/bad day at work. Dealt with people in two depts. that were the stereotypical gov’t employees. I worked with these dumbasses for three weeks to make sure I had everything straight then find out, nope, I’m missing a form, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
The good part was I found out that if you have Wiserradio playing, it sounds like a telecon, and everyone leaves you alone to work in peace.
Fun to play too.
I used to have all The Young Ones episodes on VHS tape. Vivviyyaan was my spirit animal.
I love watching Lacrosse and Field Hockey.
The registration tax for passenger class vehicles (cars, vans and pickups rated at less than one-ton, and one-ton passenger vans) is determined by the vehicle’s base value and age.
You have to pay one percent of your vehicle’s value to register it in MN. Every fucking year.
God I hate canada.
L to R
GND, TBD
http://is.gd/Eus9HN
I used to think our NM taxes sucked. I feel for you other Blue Staters.
So, Pupsterboy2 got his driver’s license today. The Ohio tags had expired and I had to go get MN tags. They fucking LOVE taxes and fees in this state.
I’m pissed off and a little drunk.
MJ, I’m glad you are getting married you sick fuck. Maybe you’ll stay home a little more often and comment here.
Ass.
My Porsche cost less than some of my friends’ pick up trucks. But my plates are quadruple. Luxury vehicle.
Fuckkkkkk yooooouuuuu!
*toasts Pupster*
Pups, did you have to pay $200 for a defensive driving/DUI class?
If we only we had a political party dedicated to low taxes and small government…
*toasts Hotspur for toasting Pups*
My favorite episode was when Vyvian got pregnant and Neil got a job as a bobby.
I feel for you other Blue Staters.
http://is.gd/oUXaj3
That was a good one, Roamy.
It’s a tossup for me between University Challenge and the last episode where the City Council tears the house down.
“Bread” was another sitcom that was created to depress Brits in “Thatcher’s Britain” in the ’80’s.
Pupster made me cry. I shouldn’t have read the comments.
L to R
GND, TBD
http://is.gd/Eus9HN
MOOOMMMMMM!! Pups is posting meatup gifs again!!1!
GND needs a new acronym. OOU. (one of us)
Leon, I’m at the upscale bar tonight. You should come join me.
Crap, I just saw this and I’m in no shape to drive after the day I’ve had. Soon, though.
GND after tomorrow is MAW, I thought.
Mostly Abstinent Wife
GND is now TGFM: Too Good For MJ.
Evenin’
^^ Winner
And Andy too 😉
So, the GON is the last wknd of April. Every single year. (Gathering Of Nations) Dan has been known to make rayciss Indigenous Peeps jokes. My native friends are basically making Native jokes on FB that white people can’t say. Thx Obama. THX for setting race relations back 100 years.
GWFOTTMTIAJ: Girl Who Found Out That The Muppet Thing Isn’t A Joke
So is it the custom for grooms shave their pubes the night before or day of the wedding nowadays?
MJ: guy that doesn’t quite have Trump doll hands. MJGTDQHTDH
I think the day of, but I heard vegan hot waxing was all the rage now. These kids today and their new fangled crap.
Evening all. So did anyone else have a day of restraing from murdering co-workers and random homeless people today.
Random? No.
*removes photo of homeless guy #5 from cork board*
Dan put the blackberry preserves inside of the 2 cheese jalapeno grilled cheese. It was beyond yum. Still managed to get preserves on my tee. Stoopid boobs that stick out past napkins. #OsoNeedsBib
It’s gonna be a heckuva shock for the GND when the roofies wear off.
Hmmm, blackberry preserves on boobs, definitely a BBF appropriate post.
I somehow always seem to end up with condiments on my boobs. Dawn isn’t the detergent it’s cracked up to be. Someone needs to patent women’s boob bibs.
How I feel when shopping with Penelope
http://tinyurl.com/z47hd8q
Drunk and missing a shoe.
L:R the last month, me
http://tinyurl.com/h9a338b
I drink. I don’t test. Toss up between Oso drunk and Oso sugar on a daily basis. True story, no physical difference from drunk blackout or sugar blackout.
Watch one living in a van video on youtube and then all you get on your homepage is living in a van videos. Same thing happened with the breastfeeding and waxing videos. Took weeks to get rid of them.
Had a good day.
Sad that we’re down one shih-tzu (RIP Oliver!), but i cried it out last night.
Going out to demolish more helpless clay pigeons tomorrow. Weather permitting.
If it rains we’ll just go and shoot pistol.
My bro’s oldest was a baller and a freak. Full scholarship to U of A. Now at Georgetown Law. Gave up sports in HS. His youngest is lazy academically, but athletically gifted. Getting recruited for baseball as we speak. My niece is moar spoiled than I ever was.
RIP Oliver. Mega hugs to the Phat Man
Sorry about Oliver, phat. However long we get to have them in our lives, it’s never long enough.
Evening Hostages.
I’m not the only one stumbling around drunk, right?
If by stumbling, you mean chillaxing in the BMC wearing your tiara, ummm no.
In other medical news, I got cleared by the doc who did my surgery to resume life. I didn’t tell him that is been driving for a month already. And had resumed dissapointing the missus already.
So today I mowed the yard and fixed a coupla sprinkler heads and bubblers that were contributing to parts of my yard returning to desert conditions. I may be a suffering sack of shit tomorrow.
That’s totally what I mean, oso.
Roamy,
Made your Chicken & Tomato stew last night.
It was quite good!
I had never tried a tomato-based stew before.
We used our home-canned tomatoes and sauce.
Also home canned beans, carrots,
Thank you for the recipe!!!
Brent,
I’m workin’ on it.
West Coast time.
Do you speak it!?!?!
Phat,
Sorry about Oliver.
Losing the furry family members is always tough.
Been there. Got the scars…
Three in a row!
Owning the comments…
I wish tiaras on all y’all. I rolled out the trash today…wearing my tiara. Fed my wiener today… Wearing my tiara.
Venezuela, Death of A Nation,
From Wretchard. Is interesting, if you’re into depressing shit:
https://pjmedia.com/richardfernandez/2016/04/28/the-death-of-a-nation/
Brent,
I’m workin’ on it.
West Coast time.
Do you speak it!?!?!
No. I don’t. What I hear are excuses for being sober.
stumbling? not yet.
Delivered Presentation to Continuation teachers. They liked it. I questioned the sanity of meeting in Riverside.
Stumbling? Still a little early yet, but I just found out that I don’t have to get the Axeman from baseball practice. Stumble City, Here I Come.
Feed your wiener!!!!!!
Sorry to read about your lil’ buddy, Phat. We do love on them awfully hard. My Buddy will show him around heaven and introduce him to the best bones and bitches. {{Hugs}}
HAHA! The Oso-ism of the day. LOLOl
Well..uhhh….
Ha ha ha! The best thing I read on Imgur
What would an Asian supremacist movement be called?
Ku Krux Kran.
JJ
fuck off.
I would say ignore it, Tush. Some people just have to be awful.
You are right, BCock.
JJ. Fuck off while I ignore you.
JJ wasn’t invited to the orgy.
That or JJ was the recipient in the orgy. That kind of thing is likely scarring.
Scott is wise on this.
We gonna leave that garbage or shall one of us zap it?
JJ, you want an orgy? You want a brown cock up your miserable ass? Just say the word. I ain’t no homo, but I will make an exception for you.
Don’t piss off the drunk brown guy.
True story.
Drunk brown guys are scary.
>>Drunk brown guys are scary.
Only when they are not getting chummy with a Tempe crosswalk.
I bet MJ has killed less than 4 people.
That JJ guy is nuts.
The brown guy in the crosswalk was kinda cuddly, as I remember it.
It’d be fun to batt that butt hurt JealousJerry around, but I gonna zap it.
So I read “the comment” to my wife.
“That totally sounds like some bitch ass girl.”
I don’t fucking care if MJ has killed 4 people. He may be a bastard, but he is my bastard. I just lost a friend. I am not going to be silent when some anal polyp named JJ bad mouths another friend of mine.
Call it a quirk, but I think I can see through a person’s heart. I have met GND, and she is a sweetheart.
Suddenly it turned into Facechimp in here.
JJ is already butt hurt Tush, and whiny ass monkeys have to whine, and lamely try to hurt others.
Call it a quirk, but I think I can see through a person’s heart. I have met GND, and she is a sweetheart.
I have not met GND. I did however, once see her from behind in a DotW vid. It was a quality ass. That makes her ok in my book.
We’ll have none of that Facechimp shit in here! Except when there’s talk of gardening, or barbecuing, or workout routines, or recipes. Otherwise, none of that!
BCoch, you should meet her. She is awesome. Just her misfortune she fell for MJ, the total ass.
And she works in investment banking, which makes her even more awesome.
We investment banking folks rule!
And she works in investment banking, which makes her even more awesome.
We investment banking folks rule!
So she has a nice ass AND her own money. Now we’re talking!
Not just her own money. She gets to play with other people’s money.
I am totes certain she took money from some rich trust fund kid’s account, rubbed it on MJ’s rancid junk, and deposited it back.
Take that, you trust fund asshole!
Wait, did someone come in here and get banned already within the space of an hour? And I missed it?
Stupid gainful employment.
Oh great, now you disappear the fucked up comment from that intestinal worm, JJ.
Making me look like a raving loon.
Fine.
Got banned within the space of a few minutes.
Some butthurt bitch thought it would be cool to come in here and trash MJ. Fail.
Missed it. Maybe it was a GND sock puppet.
And I am talking to Tush about no one. That is fun
Pepe,
If it was a GND sock puppet, I say she has the most warped mind I have seen.
Lets kick MJ out and make GND the newest Hostage.
It just got moved to the trash for your viewing pleasure, and no ban set. Yet.
**tries to walk across a crossing to feel up cyn.
** collapses in the middle of the road
I have met both MJ and GND.
GND’s ass is probably smaller than than MJ’s, but I only say that because I have not checked his ass (Cyn has).
Thanks for all of the well wishes.
Will be in LA for lunch 15 May, Sean?
Comment by Tushar on April 29, 2016 11:11 pm
If it was a GND sock puppet, I say she has the most warped mind I have seen.
====
More warped than marrying MJ?
FTR: I have felt both of their asses. And I’d do it again.
They were real and they were spectacular.
*rushes out to help Tushar in the crosswalk, smothers him with big hugs*
WTF, O?
We had a Troll™ and I missed it?
Does this mean that “Life Is Not Fair”?
Well, fuck…
Going out to shoot stuff in the am.
Should be fun.
What did I miss while I was mixing drinks for people?
blerg
You have keys, Chrispy?
You didn’t mix me any drinks. blerg!
Phat, big hugs, man. I know it is not easy to lose a puppy.
Never had a doggie myself, but I have seen people suffer when their pooch moves on.
Dawgs are the best. They make us realize how inadequate we are.
Vmax,
Are you lurking?
I’ll be in Houston Sunday night and again on Monday night.
BTW, if you plan on flying Houston-Chicago-Houston on the 2nd guess who’s going to be your pilot.
>>If it was a GND sock puppet, I say she has the most warped mind I have seen.
====
More warped than marrying MJ?
Everyone makes mistakes, Pepe. Every person has a blind spot. MJ managed to squirm is tiny little body in GND’s blind spot.
Cyn,
Yes, but I am afraid to use them that I might break something.
I am afraid…
Wasted.
NYTOL.
!!!
We had horrible regulars tonight, Cyn. So I may have spit in their drinks.
But I do have a great new recipe for a drink. Too bad I’m not all special and shit and get called for “drink of the week”.
There’s not much you could break that couldn’t be glued-up and duct-taped back together; hell–how the heck you think this place is held together anyway?! Nighty dreams
*challenges MJ to a Mix-off
Just back from perusing the spam bucket.
Yikes.
Tush,
It was rough.
We had him for 10 yrs and he was 18 when we had to put him down.
Get a puppy for the boys. The sadness I feel now is overwhelmed by the joy he brought to our lives.
Sadly, I think Russ is the only one who who got to meet Oliver.
I bet you would too get called! But… it’s that pesky part of actually answering your phone that’s a bit, shall we say, challenging.
Also, thanks for not spitting in the drink you didn’t make me – this is why you’re my favorite.
Just a gif of brown folks being brown folks.
http://is.gd/M7X2lm
Phat – If you’re up for it, send me some pics and I’ll add them to the Pets Held Hostage tab.
It’s an awesome drink. It’s a shame about that whole “phone” thing.
*shudders
[and to make matters worse, TWO of my family members MADE FUN OF ME AND MY PHONE SKILLS. ]
Just the other day.
Honestly, they’re sleeping right now. I should just kill them.
Phat, there is an old Russian lady who lives in my neighborhood. She had an old Samoyed named Oliver. Oliver would saunter over to me for some petting all the time. Babushka told me that Oliver loves to ride in minivans, and I had one. Sadly, I never got to take Oliver for a ride in my minivan. One of the many regrets I have.
Yea, that is a nice bit of garbage. Someone’s bitter.
Did MJ spurn the advances of a dental hygienist at some point?
When I win the lottery, there will be the meat up to end all meat ups. Carin and MJ behind the bar, Scottw on the grill, Wiser DJ, Lauraw in the nurses station, Tushar providing sound financial advice, Vmax showing off the 1/64 scale model of Puptropolis, Leon is in charge of the buffet, Jay and Chumpo with the home brew, Oso handing out the swag bags, Sean is the biographer/lyricist, Xbrad is Security.
>>Did MJ spurn the advances of a dental hygienist at some point?
He has spurned hygene all his life.
I am Phat. What part of town are you staying in?
What’s mare gonna do?
“I used to have all The Young Ones episodes on VHS tape.”
This is why Pup is known as UltraKing- King of The SuperKings.
All Hail!!!
Pupster, I will give you financial advice even before the meatup.
Don’t waste money on a meatup, unless everyone is paying for their own shit. Squirrel all your monies in SP500 and sleep like a log every night. Spend like a miser and dream like a king.
Cyn is table/lap dancer wrangler and corriographer.
Mare is in charge of not showing up.
Phat is logistics.
Also, buy cheap property and become a slumlord. Being a slumlord is the best thing. Idiots need a roof over their head too. And they pay rent.
WOOO HOOO I have a job and there’s a 40/60 chance I won’t screw it up!!
I. am. somebody. now.
PG is in charge of expletives.
>>PG is in charge of expletives.
Let’s not go overboard.
I read that as “in charge of explosives”.
Same thing, right?!
Explosive expletive:
May your ass fucking explode!
Got a check in the mail from my mortgage company for $1400. Go me!
Gonna go out tomorrow and shop for pistols.
CoAlex is buying!!
Nighty dreams, cool kids.
Pistols is an euphemism for dildos, right?
No. No, it’s not.
It’s a euphemism for “your mom”.
I am normally against spending money. But I make an exception for buying guns. There is no such thing as too many guns.
Just make sure you keep the number of different calibers limited. You don’t want to spread your ammo stock too thin.
^^^ This is why we love you, TusharD
I don’t know the origin of Cyn’s latest moniker, but I think it would be cooler if she dropped the “a.”
Listeners listen cause this here is wisdom
Wisdom of a Speaker, a Derp and a Plug
Set aside illegal substance to feed ’em
For now get ’em high off this dialect drug
Geoff, your Indian Name is One Who Missed Indian Names Thread Two Weeks Ago.
It’s long. We’ll jist call you Abraham.
xo
Abrahammerman. That’d be my superhero name.
HAHAHHAHAHSHHSHSHDJAJAJAJAJJA
thats wats up!!!
Funnyman!!
My two youngest have agreed that the former Great Presedent’s name is Hammer Lincoln. They discuss this and get quite indignant as I wipe the tears of laughter from mine eyes.
Too funnah.
We went to the farmers market and acquired 35 trees for MIL.
What have you done?
>>What have you done?
*chokes down chunk of fresh hobo*
Ummm…. Nuffin’…….
Vmax,
Just checked my trip. No shit I’m staying IN THE AIRPORT.
The Airport Marriott. I’ve been there before, they have a good gym and a decent restaurant.
Added bonus, the gift shop sells Shiner.
I looked in the trash bin. Wow, that was a flaming bag of poo someone left, thanks for cleaning that up.
She sounds like a redhead.
We got $1400 worth of trees (HD prices) for $420, and the guy threw in free delivery.
Not bad.
Scott, nice!
http://www.ew.com/article/2016/04/29/human-centipede-2-high-school
420 trees?
Eek. My head hurts.
http://is.gd/Z51z78
http://is.gd/ZcCpCr
It’s OK to be a little tipsy at your own wedding, just make sure you don’t have bad breath.
Also, good luck today MJ.
Pro Tip for MJ:
Wash off the stripper smell before the ceremony.
Also, vodka.
Did anybody else get the idea that JJ would be crazy fun in the sack, as long as you gave her a false name?
http://is.gd/imK7QG
banana hammock
What kind of trees Scott?
*imagines digging 100’s of tree holes*
From the imgur comments “triggledypuff”. I keep thinking Roz from Monsters Inc. but that will do.
We got 35 arborvitaes. They will make the neighbors disappear.
….in 10 years or so.
They’re great. My dad was fond of them as a screening method. Our childhood home had a wall of them inside the chain link fence required for the pool. Grew really well.
*Pretends I didn’t read that.
wakey wakey
As a kid the property behind my house was farmland with cows grazing there. Year by year as the farmer grew older he sold off land and by the time I was in high school there were 3 or 4 houses behind us. Fence + arborvitae trees made them disappear.
I could put up arborvitaes to hid my neighbors, but then what do I put up to hide the arborvitaes?
My neighbor did put a bunch up last fall (on his property) but not along the house. Sigh.
Regardless, only about a third didn’t get eaten by deer.
On the road to our camp there’s a landowner with about 200 feet of arborvitae for a living fence. Every fall they get wrapped in burlap to keep deer away which seems like a chore.
They are deer food? This might not end well.
I sort of get what happened from the comments but I don’t know anyone named JJ in real life or on the intertitty.
Weird.
Is that why people do that? The burlap looks bizarre.
They were covered with burlap. Until Spring. When the deer showed up.
Check the trash bin comments MJ. You have a non-fan.
Another home-owner installed a nice alternating row of evergreens. Expensive ones – BIG. I don’t know what they paid, but smaller ones go for $40 a pop at the box stores – and these were several years older
Most of them are mostly brown.
DON’T PEOPLE READ UP BEFORE THEY PLANT? I mean I can see buying one and fucking up by not adding the proper stuff to the ground. But a WHOLE LINE OF THEM?
Eh, maybe he should check next week. Doesn’t need to see that shit on his wedding day.
Also please delete it after you’ve read it.
She obviously knows about the wedding so maybe forewarned is better.
Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.
They probably hope the deer have other stuff to eat when the burlap comes off. Just a guess. We never wrapped our trees as a kid and now I’ve planted other types of conifers on my north side to act as a wind screen. It took years but they’re pretty tall now.
Deer only eat it in the winter, during the rest of the year there is better tasting food.
I bought 4 foot trees and had some kids dig a bunch of holes for planting back in 2000 or 2001. I watered them weekly the first year by joining three hoses together to reach way out in the fields. i bet Carin’s neighbors didn’t water.
Hoo boy. That was weird.
If you have a row of new trees maybe a soaker hose would be easier. Mine are spaced out with a good 10-15 feet between them.
It wasn’t my neighbor with the brown trees. They’re down the road from me. My neighbors have deer eaten trees.
Keep it straight Jimbro.
Deleted permanently and banned for doxxing.
Soccer update – coach has asked erin to skip the JV2 game so she can play the Jv1 game on monday.
And has been moved to starter for Jv1. And announced to the whole team that she earned that spot.
She caught some girl yesterday (she plays sweeper) that had the coach singing her praises. Erin is FAST (in addition to having mad skillz)
Weird that they didn’t see that during the gym floor tryouts. Of course, I didn’t list that stuff on her resume, and whisper it into the coach’s ear.
Triggly Puff’s dating profile:
http://is.gd/Cs10bw
It’ll be nice when the Republicans finally pick one candidate so my mom can focus her outrage on facebook.
She’s all over the place right now.
Why would you want to abolish prisons?
I can sympathize. Yesterday I was treated to a lecture about how Reagan was evil, and wanted to destroy the country, all Republicans are pedophiles and that transgender bathroom laws will lead to me getting my ass kicked in the South because rednecks don’t like long haired hippies with beards.
I asked if he was following baseball this year.
*runs for office on tampon banning platform*
rednecks don’t like long haired hippies with beards
This dipshit has never even seen a still frame from Duck Dynasty, has he?
Haha. I used the same example.
The guy is stuck in the late 70s. It’s totally fascinating.
It’s always 1970 to liberals. To be fair, plenty of conservatives would rather like to have 1955 back.
I sure would.
Triggly Puff’s profile is comedy gold.
I’m good at “Thinking Critically”
http://is.gd/Oh_hey_Pepe_is_here
The manatee part made me LOL. Probably woke up Mini-me.
Feeding time http://is.gd/qDm1ts
Is it morning already?
http://is.gd/SfkoOf
*rolls some grass*
We were talking about this the other day. CHF?
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/143608135036/the-health-tell
We were Roamy. He does have a good point. When I’m looking for pictures of Hillary to link to unflattering comments there is a huge variation in her appearance. She must have a team of doctors working on her trying to get the right mix of medications just right.
Now that’s got me paranoid that my appearance changes a lot.
I think women’s appearance tends to change more than men, partly because of the wider variety of hairstyles and fashion choices, make up and what not.
That Dilbert link talking about Hilde’s health.
Top comment is awesome:
“Somewhere in an attic an oil painting of Hillary is getting prettier and prettier.”
New poat. https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/04/30/celebratory-saturday/
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