I Am Bat Dog


Make teh funneh.  New poat for Halloween Eve.

Thank You Night Tuesday

Mrs. TBOM said “I do” 8 years ago today.

A song for her:

She has given me two great kids.  This is how I still see her

You can commence with the wise cracks starting…….now!

The Hostages, Afghanistan Bureau

I don’t know what to think about this guy, except he’s the kind of guy I’m pretty sure reads The Hostages.


Monday Caption Contest


Well, if this image doesn’t make you want to buy some nice real estate in Hell, then I don’t know what to say to you.

Bring the captions, and teh funneh. And remember, you aren’t really going to Hell for mocking this tool because Teh Black Baby Jesus™ doesn’t like him either.

You are cordially invited to the Hostages Easter Egg Hunt!

As Rosetta, Xbrad, Mesa and Wiser wait patiently:


MCPO and Brewfan prepare to guard the gate: (is that an egg in or pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)
rotary_easter_egg_hunt_0031Unfortunately, nobody explained the rules to Dave in Texas:


PJ promised to bring her own special treat:

2611015-2-easter-egg-huntOf course we needed something for the guys:


Now, go gather your eggs, and don’t believe Mare when she tells you that the big, brown soft things by the dogs kennel are just unwrapped chocolate eggs.

President Obama Denies The Black Baby Jesus

I heard something yesterday that made the hair I don’t have on the back of my neck stand up.  Here it is.  Go to 3:30 if you just want the meat and not the majority of the embarrassing blather.

For being the smartest man in the world, President Obama, you sir, are a fucking idiot.  Not only are you ignorant of basic U.S. history and religious tolerance, you’re an incompetent communicator.

While speaking in Turkey yesterday you could have and should have acknowledged the history of our country and given proper tribute to the religious basis of our founding but I suppose the TOTUS didn’t so instruct you.

I’m pretty sure that we are more tolerant of other religions than any other superpower.  Oh wait….we’re the only superpower.  I’m sure that’s a coincidence and that the freedoms we enjoy in this country, granted us by our Creator, have nothing to do with our status as the greatest nation in the history of the world.

We are not like Turkey, Mr. President.  Our nation in fact was founded on Christian values which in fact does make this a Christian nation.  I would assume that you have a basic understanding of those Christian values which you profess to believe when convenient and ignore when not, including yesterday in Turkey.

In all your blinding brilliance you were unable to admit and clearly communicate two basic but fundamental facts about our history and our nation: (A) we were founded as a Christian nation and (B) we don’t kill people because of their religious views as they do in Turkey.  Those statements are neither complicated nor offensive and they both happen to be true.

The fact that you weren’t properly equipped to communicate that, either from ignorance (ohai, Harvard) or your apparent desire to separate yourself and this nation from its Christian heritage, proves that you are less than a scholar, less than an intellectual and less than a proud Christian.

How difficult is it to state the historical reality that, in fact, we are a Christian nation.  We were founded on Judeo-Christian values and, according to those racist, slave-owning signers of the Declaration of Independence, our rights are endowed upon us by our Creator.

And unless you have historical documents that no one else has, I’m assuming those racist, slave-owning founders meant that our rights come from the Christian God, not Muhammad.  Hey!  Look what I found.

For you, President Obama, to deny a seminal fact of our creation as a nation renders you an embarrassed Christian, a historical ignoramous, an international coward or all of the above.

Despite your protestations to the contrary, we are, and for most people proudly so, a Christian nation that celebrates freedom of religion.  The fact that we are more tolerant of other religions, as well as the soulless practitioners of atheism, than any other nation on earth is a tribute to the fact that we have freedom of religion in this country, not a lack of Christianity in our founding, you utter dunce.

For you not to possess the ability to distinguish between us being a nation that imposes Christianity on its citizens, which we are not, and a nation that was founded on Christian values and is the shining beacon of religious freedom in the world, which we are, makes me happy I graduated from a state university.  In five years.

I shudder to think what would have happened if the community you organized was the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia.

Enjoy your four years in office, Stuperman.

Who would have thought that 4th grade history would be your Kryptonite.

As the brilliant Mrs. Rosetta has observed, “Being that we are not a Christian nation, it seems odd that our markets are closed on Good Friday.”

Porn for Women

No, HHD hasn’t arrive early. I’ve just been feeling a little guilty about giving Folly and some of the other wimmens a hard time lately. We Hostage guys sometimes forget they have feminine sensibilities, and occasionally take them for granted.

So, in that spirit, here’s to the ladies kind enough to grace us with their presence:

Continue reading

Welcome Fiity-tooers!!!

Rosetta was lamenting our lack of trolls. What better way to get one than to mock Teh ONe™. I know, its hard to improve upon such brilliance as appointing every tax-cheat and leftist twat-waffle floating through the stanky bowl we call D.C., setting up Joe Biden to police waste and incompetence, and causing the dow to drop like a stone every time you step in front of the camera, open your pie-hole and confidently mouth whatever the teleprompter feeds you, but I am confident that while we all count the change his disasterous economic policies leave us with while we hope they don’t find out about it, we can all sing this song. After all, it isn’t any sillier than Teh One™ telling us how electing him will reverse glowbull worminging, and stop the rise of the oceans.

MCPO and His Llama Share a Snack

True freindship. Is there anything more beautiful?

While We are Waiting to Get The Boobs On…

Name the Hostage. [And No, It Isn’t Me.]