Secret Satan 2011 Gift Opening Poatse

Merry Christmas Fatasses and welcome to the Third Annal Secret Santa Gift Opening. Oh, and enjoy the whimsy of the Magic of Christmas peppered (FUCK SALT!) throughout this post.

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Secret Santa: Last Call

I know everyone’s been busy with work and prepping for Turkey Day, but you’ve put this off long enough so get off your ass and sign up for The Third Annual H2 Secret Santa right now!!!

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**IMPORTANT**: Sign-up deadline is this Saturday, 11/26/2011.

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Last Call for Secret Santa Sign Up

OK, Morons. I know I said I’d close this on the 30th, but I think I’ve got a yeah or nay for just about everyone.

If you haven’t signed up and you really do want someone to send you an inflatable sheep or giant purple dildo, sign up. NOW.

Email me at bariejr AT gmail DOT com

INCLUDE YOUR REAL NAME AND MAILING ADDRESS, you morons.

The drawing will be totally random, but if Hostagettes send me sexy pictures (of themselves, not farm animals) at that address, who knows what pleasant turns fate may take in terms of who you get sentenced with?  **looks at MCPO and his standing request for a box of Depends**

So sign up today so I can get the emails out this weekend, and get back to planning my holiday season:

drunken-santa-claus