I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving! It’s my favorite meal and I got to eat it twice yesterday so it was a good day. And this afternoon is Christmas tree shopping so all is well in my world.
Wiserbud and NiceDeb have some “fun” family stories from past holidays which I don’t really have. My family is pretty Cleaverish in that they are all pretty much conservative and very nice so there’s rarely that kind of drama. However, if the terrorists win and my brother-in-law marries the freakshow nightmare that he’s currently dating, that will change.
She’s a liberal but she takes mocking well. Her wall calendar counts down the days until Bush is out of office and it has been completely vandalized by yours truly. Actually the fact that she’s a liberal is amusing. When she tries to argue her inane views, it’s exactly like watching a three year-old eat Play-Doh; funny, cute and dumb. So it’s not that she’s a lib that bugs, it’s that she’s an idiot.
Last night after dinner, we are playing a man vs. woman game of Cranium with several friends and in-laws including my father-in-law. Mrs. Rosetta is drawing a clue, like in Pictionary, where her teammates have to guess what she’s drawing. So while they’re trying to guess the clue, retard girl yells out “ANAL SEX!!!” as a possible answer.
I’ve not liked this girl from the beginning but this made me want to cut her up and put her in a wood chipper. First, have some respect for the parents that are playing the game you fuckhead. Second, Cranium is for ages 8 to adult. I’m pretty sure that “ANAL SEX!!!” isn’t going to be the correct answer to anything. IDIOT!!! Other things that won’t ever be the correct answer: golden showers, dirty sanchez, fisting, cleveland steamer, cock and balls, strawberry shortcake, donkey punch, bukkake and sucking dirty dog dicks. IDIOT!!!
Hey look…BBF is starting to get a fan base:
If you like Quentin Tarantino movies and you haven’t seen Death Proof, rent it for three reasons: Kurt Russell is a stud, the movie is fun, and it has “Down in Mexico” by the Coasters as a lap-dance song. That song, surprisingly, is great to listen to after 15 cocktails at loud volume.
There is a pretty deep bench of models for BBF, one of which is Maria Swan. She meets all the strict scientific criteria but, unlike the other models, it looks like her face was arranged by Picasso. That’s why this picture kicks ass. Please, a round of applause for you model for today, November 23, 2007: Maria Swan.
Have a great weekend, iceholes.
Comment by Rosetta on November 23, 2007 2:58 pm
What the hell is strawberry shortcake?
You can either ask you wife or click here:
It’s pretty sick and I’m pretty sure, like with donkey punch, it’s urban legend. But it’s fun to throw out there and make you look it up.
Comment by cranky on November 23, 2007 7:15 pm
Yeah, strawberry shortcake is pretty sick and probably not real. So what is a donkey punch?
Comment by Rosetta on November 23, 2007 9:08 pm
Did anyone laugh at the anal sex remark, or was there an embarrassed silence?
Neither. A collective glare of disgust, pity and dismissal.
Here’s a questions for you bastages. I like my brother-in-law and he’s a great guy who’s making a terrible decision. Do you say anything to him before he ruins his life or do you not?
Never, ever tell someone they’re making a mistake in matters of the heart. They won’t listen anyway, and they’ll hate you for it, at least untill they get fucked over. And after they’ve ruined their life, you can’t really say “I told you so” without sounding like a total dick.
Comment by sinistar on November 23, 2007 9:49 pm
I tend to agree with bmac, try giving a look that says what you’re thinking, maybe?
Deathproof rocked. I watched it twice. The second movie, not to much.
Man I am with you on that. I had a hard time even getting through Planet Terror which surprised me. I’ve liked Robert Rodriguez’s other films but that one sucked. Also, I have a serious crush on the Austrailian stunt woman that played Zoe in the second half of Death Proof. Hawt.
If your brother marries the hiptard, you can make sure to repeat the anal sex story in front of her kids at every family function.
I don’t like to think about her procreating.
Comment by pajama momma on November 24, 2007 9:37 am
Well you a plus is that you don’t have to worry about her procreating with anal sex.
Comment by lauraw on November 24, 2007 10:08 am
How close are you to your BIL?
My brother had hooked up with a really wrong type of chick. Dad never said anything bad about her.
There was just this feeling of tension. Finally, one day when they were alone and the subject kind of came up, Dad said to him, “You are not this stupid.” And then he zipped his lip and wouldn’t talk about it anymore.
That was it. The relationship hobbled along for just a few more months and then he woke up to reality and sent the gal home. A little seed of thought worked way better than a 2X4.
Whatever you do, don’t stir up his protective instinct by directly criticizing the girl.
FWIW, Knut is in the news again.
Oh, and I agree. Never straight out take on somebody’s love interest. That’ll only spur even more resentment.
Comment by pajama momma on November 24, 2007 10:54 am
Bet you wouldn’t dig my chili if it was low-fat turkey chili. It would still come with beer and saltine crackers though
I’m in favor of you saying something, too, Rosetta. Something direct and to the point along the lines of what Laura’s father said. But know when to shut up.
My brother (the liberal) is a three time loser. His first was a messed up teenager who had had multiple abortions, and VD. She also turned out to be a manic depressive. Three kids later, they divorce.
The second was a very liberal “artiste” who worked at Hallmark. I remember one year, before they were married, her bragging (at Thanksgiving dinner, come to think of it) about how she buys her birth control pills at Planned Parenthood so she can help support less fortunate women who need “services” there. My sister and I exchanged glances. Divorce after one year.
Wife #3 was an evangelical Christian, (never knew her political bent) but she was suffering an enduring trauma as an adult about being sexually molested by a family member as a child. Anyone could have told him this one was going to be problematic. My big buttinsky of a mother who never knows when to shut up, DID have some things to say about this one, and my brother distanced himself from our whole family for the next several years. That meant the cousins were kept away from each other for all those years of holiday gatherings. He spent Thanksgiving with us for the first time in about five years, now that he’s divorced.
Now he’s down on marriage, and down on Christianity.
I would say something, just so that my conscience is clear when it all goes to hell later on. But you don’t want to say so much that you become persona non grata if they stay together.
You guys are all correct about not going too far with what we say to him. That’s why we’ve all been silent. Better to err on the side of letting him make his own decision and ultimate mistake. But after nights when I’m around her for extended periods, I feel like someone has to say something to him.
I like lauraw’s dad’s take. Say something short, simple and clear and then let it go. And you’re also right about not talking her down. I know he’s not that happy with the relationship but it seems like he’s on a moving train that he doesn’t know how to get off.
You guys give good advice for a bunch of jackasses. Thanks.
Now let’s go back to talking about boobs and stuff. Pooter.