You people are old, I’m sure you can back me up on this: naps are pretty goddamn important.
Lets say you have a future little Alpha and you want to make sure he sleeps through the night. What to do? Well, it turns out that you have to put that little man down for 3, possibly 4 naps a day.
You want him to be less cranky? Nap that bish.
You need to do the dishes from last week’s fish fry? Nappy McNapatron.
You want to try to have rushed, awkward sex like xbrad in a flock of sheep when the sheepdog is grabbing a smoke? Nap time.
Jeez o’ Pete, why doesn’t someone give you a book when you take the baby home called, ‘Napping, a Guide to 21st Century Parenting, You Dumbfuck.’
You spend hours in parenting classes and they tell you that a little warmer for the butt wipes is a total waste of money (not true). They tell you that if you’re baby sleeps on his stomach certain death will follow (not true). They tell you that a baby doesn’t bounce (somewhat true).
But what they don’t tell you is that there’s a very simple equation for peach on earth:
Quality of Night Sleep (possibly getting laid) = Nap1(mins) x Nap2 (mins) x Nap3 (mins)
Jerks!
Anyway, if you want to see a new pic go to the POL tab and scroll down to the most handsome bastard this side of Brad Pitt’s mirror. He’s holding a baby.
