Bloat

Can Flatulence Kill?

http://Hydrolysis of α-1,4 glycosidic linkage of polyglucan chain by β-amylase (Kaplan, 2004) [33]

The Dutch Oven Effect

Joe-Joe you filthy fuquer
a fart – perchance to shart

Oi

NOW!!!

for you people… that can’t wrap your mind around teh awesome that is fart humor….

think about THIS!~

Fart Facts

1. The world’s oldest recorded joke was a fart joke.

and

-Because we are a music blog –

We may be headed down a bad path.

Ahh-ite, Get out there and try to keep it classy.

126 Comments

  1. -pull my finger-

  2. #15 in that fartfacts list is pretty funny.

  3. https://is.gd/0lQmI7

  4. #18 is mystifying. How does one…? I do not want to know.

  5. The best 10 seconds of Imgur video with sound you will see today.

    https://is.gd/wmISap

  6. Here’s a version of MJ’s “teacher with a dong”

    https://tinyurl.com/5n85k77z

  7. That’s hilarious!

  8. I was referring to the Beto sign. That chick is packin’, but a gun-shaped bulge would probably be more effective.

  9. 0550 and it’s still dark … so it begins

  10. Yup. Winter is coming. Fortunately, it’s only 7 months long or so! Yay!

  11. Hoping to put my new 10×20 greenhouse up this weekend. Stoked. Also have ideas to put cold frames in other parts of the garden but my choice of crops is growing narrower as time flies. I think the only things I could still start now and reasonably expect to eat in Winter would be mache, mizuna, claytonia, and spinach. Maybe some little radishes and turnips.

  12. Honestly, it would be pretty great to have several areas of spinach going through Winter. It’s not like I can’t eat it all up.

  13. Now you are just messing with me.

  14. maybe

  15. I have to see how this thing goes together and figure out a way to strengthen it against snow load. I don’t want to feel like I have to run out there in every storm and brush it off to rescue the structure.

  16. Just build an 11 x 21 shed over the greenhouse

    Problem solved

  17. Jimbro, you’re a genius

  18. Pancho Vanilla is my favorite name for him. It is such a transparent attempt to pander. (And you guys probably know, but if you didn’t, Abbott’s wife is an actual Mexican! Omg.) (Mixed marriages are really common in TX. Probably bc we’re all racist.)

  19. Wakey wakey

    It’s fucking hot down here. The 65 mph drive Mario Andretti tour on the way through the mountains almost made me hurl- the way from tenn to North Carolina.

    Our cabin is really cute.

  20. Have a nice time, Carin.

    Raining and thundering like the dickens here. Supposed to get 1″-2″ today with a cold front.
    I looked at the forecast early this morning, pooped my drawers, and ran outside to pick the garden as much as possible before it got here. The Bosnian pole beans that were doing nothing during the heat wave are now loving the cooler weather, Picked almost a gallon of those.
    I have a gallon ziploc of winecap mushrooms to cook up asap too.

  21. Walmart. Pickens South Carolina. QOTSA is playing.

  22. I think it was in a Weird News book where they mentioned the case of an obese man in an enclosed room who gassed himself to death after gorging himself on pizza. Police officers who entered the room were gagging and vomiting when the smell hit them.

    So I don’t think it’s as hard to die from flatulence as that video claimed.

  23. Here’s a version of MJ’s “teacher with a dong”

    Boner Britches

  24. https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2022/09/18/woke-fail-boycottwomanking-trends-over-slave-trade-whitewashing/

    Blue on Blue fights are the best.

    I saw some tweet that I couldn’t quite follow but described the “fierce women warriors” as being decimated the first time they faced a European force. Hopefully Jay links the Critical Drinker review of that movie.

  25. obese man in an enclosed room who gassed himself to death after gorging himself on pizza
    —–
    That is a story the word apocryphal was invented to describe

  26. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/obese-man-gassed-himself-over-4501996

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4854705/obese-teen-dies-swiss-clinic-fabian-m/

    From Snopes with no linkage:

    Fart Death
    Did a man die in his sleep from breathing in his own farts?
    David Mikkelson
    Published 25 October 2007

  27. That is a story the word apocryphal was invented to describe

    No way man.

    It was in a book and everything.

  28. So are the Apocrypha.

    *ducks and runs*

  29. Was it this one?

    https://tinyurl.com/ejr8nhw6

  30. Scary thought experiment

    https://bionicmosquito.blogspot.com/2022/09/headlines.html

  31. I had to buy some bible translation for a college course that included the “Apocrypha” and read “Bel and the Dragon” without realizing at the time that it was just the last bit of Daniel that Luther and his acolytes had hacked out of the book.

    I blame zero catechesis as a child.

  32. This is a part of the product line that I was unfamiliar with.

  33. Every time I see a pic or a video of this fetterman dude who is running for the US senate out of PA, I’m hoping it’s a trailer for an Idiocracy sequel. How can this Fuckin guy be a serious candidate for that office? The world has passed me by.

  34. bawaa, meekmms, frekksmss, FETTERWOMAN!

  35. It illustrates how the term yellow dog democrat came about.

    The democrats would elect a “yellow dog” if it had a D after its name.

  36. *sits on blog*

    *farts on its head*

  37. Walmart. Pickens South Carolina. QOTSA is playing.

    =====

    Sounds like Hotspur’s nightmare.

  38. Hence the term, shithole dump.

  39. “” pull my finger “”
    Haaaajhaaaaaaa
    NO WAY
    Don’t know where that thing has been.

  40. Btw – carin picked out the musical selections for todays poat.
    When she called me she said both were better than tool.

  41. NO WAY
    Don’t know where that thing has been.
    ——-
    Oh, look who’s flinging poo now!

  42. *sits on blog*

    *farts on its head*

    This is a category of pr0n now. And still God won’t send His asteroid.

  43. There is only one way to know that, Spanky.

  44. There are several ways to know that, actually, and you just experienced the least awful of them.

  45. This is a category of pr0n now.
    ——–
    That stinks, I haven’t got through all my tentacle stuff yet

  46. twitter: want to know how doctors can talk mothers into accepting transgender kids?

    Maoist struggle sessions, and brainwashing parents. They think the parent is wrong, and the kid is right. This is evil.

  47. Why would a society have doctors, teachers, and politicians PUSHING for kids to be confused about their gender?

    Entirely bizarre but in keeping with the chaos the resetters want.

  48. A tranny patient is a lifelong cash cow, Mare.

  49. I believe the children are our future, treat them well and let them lead the way.

    -Michael Jackson, probably while he was trying to sniff McCauley Caulkin’s butthole

  50. they are treating the kids being confused as being right, and the parents are wrong. The doctors are in the wrong, kid can’t help it.

  51. so, with interest rates. am I correct in thinking that raising rates to cause a recession is basically what Reagan and Voelker did in the 80s? Except Brandon has no plan to grow and get us out of it? So basically we’re fucked?

  52. He’s growing the economy now.

    That’s what he said a couple of days ago.

  53. Diabetics are also lifelong cash cows. Studies like this are part of the “fence” that keeps them on the farm.

    https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/09/21/dieting-protein-intake-calorie-restriction-diabetes-obesity-study/5381663767684/

  54. https://www.breitbart.com/border/2022/09/18/exclusive-venezuela-empties-prisons-sends-violent-criminals-to-u-s-says-dhs-report/

    Mariel, vol.2
    I’ve been thinking it’s a good idea to start carrying just whenever I leave the house.

  55. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 22, 2022 3:02 pm
    Diabetics are also lifelong cash cows. Studies like this are part of the “fence” that keeps them on the farm.

    https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2022/09/21/dieting-protein-intake-calorie-restriction-diabetes-obesity-study/5381663767684/

    ——
    What garbage.
    I didn’t bother to look but I wonder who sponsored that study?

    Common sense tells me that’s stupid.

  56. Yes, hospitals make tons of money on these stupid, lost souls but parents, teachers and others pushing transgenderism is a headscratcher (only if you don’t understand leftism is a mental disorder).

  57. twitter: Beto has a new campaign ad

  58. so, with interest rates. am I correct in thinking that raising rates to cause a recession is basically what Reagan and Voelker did in the 80s?

    ——

    Reagan, at the time, admitted he had to do it to get Carter’s bullshit economy from drowning us all. Put on the brakes so to speak.

    In today’s case, it’s just more of the drowning.

  59. Comment by Jay in Ames on September 22, 2022 3:41 pm
    twitter: Beto has a new campaign ad

    ——–

    hahahahahahahhhhahah

  60. I love that he caught her before he started driving anywhere. Hope he called the cops on her, too. Look at this lying smarmy bitch.

    https://9gag.com/gag/avQpbm5

  61. dang its fake, nevermind

  62. Comment by lumps on September 22, 2022 3:47 pm
    https://etana.substack.com/p/ded-sddenly-nws

    ——-

    More important confirmation.

  63. so, with interest rates. am I correct in thinking that raising rates to cause a recession is basically what Reagan and Voelker did in the 80s? Except Brandon has no plan to grow and get us out of it? So basically we’re fucked?
    ——————
    yes, yes, yes

    There’s too much money sloshing around. It creates inflation.

    Reduce money sloshing around (fed), which lowers inflation.

    Unfortunately it also causes a recession and job loss.

    Things probably would have been ok if brandon didn’t spend a few extra trillion and if the fed acted sooner but wish in one hand and hotspur’s dong in the other.

  64. Can I substitute Will’s dong?

  65. Sure but it’ll have to give wishes.

  66. Speaking of personal areas, one of my coworkers is rambling on about how great biking is. Easy for HIM to say. Sitting on a bike seat is fine for maybe 10 minutes but quickly becomes incredibly painful.

  67. (He’s also single with no kids)

  68. Now he’s connecting biking to civil rights and inclusion. KMN

    Actually, KHN

  69. Comment by Mrs. Peel on September 22, 2022 4:32 pm
    Can I substitute Will’s dong?

    ——–

    I love this comment because I have no idea what Mrs. Peel is referring to.

    hhhahahhahahah

  70. I was referring to the comment just above regarding Hotspur’s dong.

  71. pretty sure your mom is WAY ahead of everyone!

  72. Can I substitute Will’s dong?
    ———–
    yes, why not

  73. what do you want to replace it with?

  74. Hahahahaaa

  75. Probably something that grants wishes, instead of begging for its own wishes to get granted all the time.

  76. Wedding report

    Cabin is awesome .
    Nearby state park is awesome
    Apparently people have bear sightings all the time here so that’s my plan for tonight

    Wedding activities I’ve participated in so far – 0

    Sightings of couple to be married on my bil- 0

    Will keep everyone updated.

  77. Wedding report

    Cabin is awesome .
    Nearby state park is awesome
    Apparently people have bear sightings all the time here so that’s my plan for tonight

    Wedding activities I’ve participated in so far – 0

    Sightings of couple to be married on my bil- 0

    Will keep everyone updated.

  78. Leave my dong out of this.

  79. car in, can you repeat that?

  80. bet she spent more than $20

  81. I’m looking forward to our next camping trip. Excitable puppy and all.

  82. I got some super juicy gossip from a soon to be former coworker yesterday. Unfortunately, I can’t think of someone to whom I could spread it. I’m really bad at gossiping.

  83. https://is.gd/4OdcgR

  84. Comment by Pupster on September 22, 2022 5:33 pm
    https://is.gd/4OdcgR

    ——

    lol

  85. Carin’s pretty excited about those bears.

  86. Now he’s connecting biking to civil rights and inclusion. KMN

    Cycling reduces blood flow to the nuts and makes you Low T. Low T males are hiveminded turds because they can’t stand up for themselves. Or, in the case of most Bulwark/Dispatch staff writers, stand up at all.

  87. The idea of bears is pretty cool, in actuality it is scary as heck, think of a giant racoon digging through your stuff who could easily kill you.

    Also, +1 Baby Anole lizard, hanging out on the engine of the lawn mower. I told her it was a bad spot and not to get comfortable but I don’t know if she understood. I’m pretty stoked that my porch lizards have had successful hatchings this year, I’ve seen multiple baby Skinks and an Anole now.

  88. https://9gag.com/gag/aWGZZZ6

  89. Smoky Mountain bears are more fun than Yellowstone bears. I like the New Jersey backyard bears. I got crop dusted at work yesterday. Pure methane.

  90. Steven was just resting his eyes.

  91. I crop-dusted the dance floor at a wedding once. Women were gagging and running.

    It was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing which would have given me away.

  92. My Tia Ane was 96 years old. Every step was accompanied by a fart. No odor. Most days, I’m Tia Ane, every now and then I smelly fart. I excuse myself to the bathroom.

  93. My Anglo dad would get livid about farting. I guess white people excuse themselves and apologize when letting it rip. My Tios taught us how to light farts. Dan even calls one of my uncles “Tio Lift a cheek.” Wedding with metal chairs. Fart humor is very strong in the Hispanic community. Pedo v Pero.

  94. The single worst fart of my life (that I can recall) happened in Colorado. One of the attendings in my fellowship hosted a get together at his house. It was a brunch thing and people were in the house, on the porch and patio and yard. On my way to the patio I walked through a little home movie studio and there was a slide show going of his vacation shots. It was sort of dark in there and after 5 or 10 minutes of looking at slides of Italy I shifted to the left and carefully let out what turned out to be a Major SBD fart. I’m talking bushel of rotten clams left to rot in the sun with even famished seagulls passing them up. After overcoming my shock at what I had created I decided the best course of action was to swiftly move calmly and casually to the outside patio. As I made my way to the door I noticed a few other people in the room who were probably in a state of olfactory shock.

  95. Oh man, great story. Needs animation.

  96. https://is.gd/N4VXr3

    Big Floofy Imgur Video

  97. We were not allowed to use the term “fart” in my home growing up.

  98. The early days of the internet when men couldn’t have babies and women didn’t have penises.

  99. Mare, farting is the prime source of humor in the Hispanic community. Cheech & Chong were offensive to my mom. She hated Cheech & Chong. We loved them. Still do. We were singing “Beaners” at work and a Karen reported us. Target era. At Sam’s, older Hispanic associates were singing “Beaners” and the young kids had no clue.

  100. My Hispanic family humor is scatological. My Anglo family humor is cultural, wordplay, and historical. Lots of movies, TV, and music. My Anglo family encouraged any kind of humor, as long as it gets a laugh. Very dark. Prepared me for being a Moron/Hostage.

  101. Fart humor is very strong in the Hispanic community.

    The following is I-Swear-True.
    In nursing school there is a lot of time spent discussing and reading about the various cultural traditions of various people we may encounter in our work. This is important because nursing work is very intimate and you need to know stuff so you don’t accidentally disrespect, alienate or distress people you are trying to care for.

    Aaaanyway. One textbook passage that made me lol at the time was about how Mexicans believe that excess flatulence and diarrhea is normal. Yes, this was in the text. Just a few years ago, like 2016, not way back in the olden times.

  102. I think my mother especially thought the word was crude.

    She always said to us, “don’t be gauche.”

    On the other hand, my Mother had a fantastic sense of humor and was a laugher. I miss her.

  103. My first sentence is garbage and I know it. How gauche.

  104. My cousin, Dr Ana, has quite a few Mexican patients. No cutlery. Flour tortillas as scoops. My Grammo loved Dan. He scooped. She loved him for multiple reasons. Dr Ana patients using utensils and lowering their A1C.

  105. Comment by Pupster on September 22, 2022 5:59 pm
    I’ve seen multiple baby Skinks and an Anole now.

    =====

    2 skinks and an anole walk into a bar……

  106. Flatulence is normal because beans, but diarrhea I have to assume is from the shitty Messican water.

  107. White friend in college. Her mom tooted at a university event. No sound. No smell. Excuse me. I farted. She claimed it. Not enough time for who smelt it dealt it.

  108. No respect for Vanderbilt. She was a grad. Not smart enough to deflect.

  109. My kids claim theirs too. Rather gleefully st times, I might add.

  110. My brother and I were farting on each other. We were kids. Older cousin held us down and farted on our heads. Farted on our pillows. His wife divorced him soon after. Not claiming causality, but white people are weird.

  111. My best fart ever was mistaken for a wake up call by my best friend in a hotel room in Lubbock in 1978. It straight up woke him and caused him to answer the phone.

  112. We had weekend plans in El Paso. Watched the videos. $150 a night for illegals to crap on the streets? Could’ve stayed in Las Cruces for Aggie football. $400 for two nights in Las Cruces. We priced out every NM tourist attractions. Keeping our days off. Using PTO to clean carpets and choose laminate flooring.

  113. Gotta say, none of that was a feature of my childhood. We were rowdy but not like that. We beat on each other but no farting stuff.

  114. You are obviously more high class than Messicans.

  115. There are no high class children, or people, really. Just different cultures and ways.

  116. Elites and the WEF beg to differ. Venezuelan commies voted for Hugo Destroyed their country. MV refugees were mostly Venezuelan. I give a fuck why?

  117. Send them back

  118. Scary. I need a bigger garden. This is the telegraphing of famine.

  119. Mitch and roamy…here’s an octopus pattern. Not quite, but very close to the one pictured the other day.
    Probably can tweak it to look like that one.

    https://www.hookedonsunshine.co/apollo-the-octopus/

  120. Dracula enthralled Renfield perniciously.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS