A Card for Cards

Christmas Themed Oddities

So I was going to do a “Strange Art” poate and as I was surfing for strange (heh) I came across some weird Christmas looking stuff and then went down the Christmas Carde rabbet whole.

Date line London 1843: Some Brit dude hired artist John Calcott Horsley (nice) to come up with a Christmas Card of your mom.

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.Ub-xnoRh2F4QgkyNOgjAAAAAAA%26pid%3DApi&f=1

Boston-based printer Louis Prang brought the Christmas Card to America.

And some weird shit followed:

25 Bizarre and Creepy Vintage Christmas Cards From the ...

Then I stumbled across some White House Christmas Cards:

Coolidge 1927
Calvin Coolidge 1927
Truman 1946 WHCards
Eisenhower 1956 WHCards
Eisenhower 1956
Johnson1965 WHCards
LBJ 1965
Nixon 1969 WHCards
Nixon ’69
Ford1975 bigger
Ford 1975
Carter 1978 WHCards
Carter 1978
Reagan 1981 WHCards
Reagan 1981
Clinton 1999 WHCards
Clinton 1999
Bush 2008 WHCards
Dubya 2008
Obama 2009 WHCards
JEF 2009
18 best Naughty Christmas Seasons Greeting Cards images on ...
MJ 2010
18 best Naughty Christmas Seasons Greeting Cards images on ...
XBrad 2013
The Funny Naughty Christmas Thread - Page 3
BBF 2015
PurpleTrail - Feliz Naughty-Dog Christmas Photo Card
Pupster 2016
Oddball Films: Strange Sinema 59: Strange Christmas - Fri ...
J’imes 2017
Naughty In Nice Way Holiday Card
Mare 2018
Set Of 12: Inappropriate Humor Naughty Boy List Christmas ...
Roamy 2019
Naughty Christmas Cards & Invitations | Zazzle.co.uk
Hot n Tot 2020
19 BAFFLING VINTAGE CHRISTMAS CARDS - DIGITISER
The H2 2021

later

99 Comments

  1. Wakey wakey

  2. time to start baking cookies. Since no one else in this shit hole dump is gonna do it.

  3. The Christmas cookies I remember my mom making were round, dipped in icing of some sort and sprinkled with red or green dyed sugar. The green ones tasted better of course. Baklava got made occasionally but more often bought from the Lebanese or Greek store. My Aunt Mary would make chocolate covered peanut butter balls and I’d test the limits of my stomach on Christmas Eve when we’d visit as per tradition

  4. So far I’ve got gingerbread and these made: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/triple-chocolate-peppermint-treats/print/

    two batches done before 8 am. Not bad.

  5. I made snowdrops (Mr. RFH’s and Rocketboy’s favorite), lace wafers (my favorite), Oreo truffles (Mini-me’s favorite), chocolate crinkles, and peanut butter crinkles (aka peanut butter blossoms according to my sister-in-law). Chocolate chip bars got voted off the island in favor of the beef jerky. If I can find some of the peppermint chips, I will make peppermint shortbread cookies per a recipe a Moronette posted. Or try to figure out the cookie press and make Mom’s spritz cookies.

  6. Those look really good, Carin.

  7. I’ll make some no bake cookies tonight. Maybe. Need to make something that will stay soft (like hotspur) so I don’t mess up my new dental work.

  8. Happy Festivus!

  9. “santa helps jack off a reindeer”

    OMG I’m laughing my ass off.

  10. I buy my baklava from the Lesbians.

  11. I have been informed the traditional holiday turkey was not available, and thus a honey baked ham will be the centerpiece of this year’s meal. Ya know what? I think that’s just groovy.

    DING fries are done DING fries are done DING fries are done DING fries are done…

  12. I cannot catch the sheep. Any of them. Launch aborted while I try to figure out a solution.

  13. Welp, time to do my Christmas shopping…

  14. Charcoal .

  15. If they won’t come to me for sweet mix, I don’t see how charcoal will help.

  16. For you lawn ornament haterzz

    https://tinyurl.com/2p96a9eh

  17. shouldn’t have made them sit down and watch the first one, leon.

  18. mmmm went out for breakfast. Biscuits and gravy as they should be

  19. I didn’t. I left the rest alone and took the stunned one away. They didn’t even run away from me when I came back to clean up the little spot of blood. I had no impression at the time that they’d hold a grudge. Going to be a chore to get the other 4 done now.

  20. For you lawn ornament haterzz

    *chugs bottle, shatters empty on sidewalk*
    *cracks knuckles*

    Let’s fucken do this.

  21. For you lawn ornament haterzz

    No Scrooge here!

  22. *hurls a brick at Frosty’s head*

    *flying scissor-kick to the candycane pooch*

    *puts panda-santa in a headlock and punches the shit outta him*

  23. *curb-stomps Baby Yoda*

    *rips off Rudolph’s leg and beats Mary with it*

  24. Rednose, this is BroTim Actual
    Repeat, this is BroTim Actual to Rednose
    I need a full package drop, repeat, full package drop
    Target marked by smoke, danger close, repeat, danger close
    Over

  25. *rolls around in reindeer guts*

    *points at minion-santa and takes off at a dead run with knife raised*

  26. This was great.

    http://sweasel.com/archives/23664

  27. I also wanted to thank Leon for mentioning NAC to us.
    This was also great.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7649937/

  28. Yeeessssh, yeeeessssh, let the hate run through you!

    That was some funny shit

  29. I cannot catch the sheep. Any of them. Launch aborted while I try to figure out a solution.

    .22 in the head. You’re welcome.

  30. I had the gun on my belt. You don’t “hunt” the things if you don’t have to, you catch and stun if you can. The first time I was able to just get one off its feet and then down for the shot with basically no trouble, so that’s what I went out there prepared to do today. They weren’t having it. The alternative is either getting them corralled somehow and working the process from there, or distance shots to the vitals, which is basically the worst possible solution.

  31. I’d go for the head shot from about 50 feet. Gut shot animals die SLOWWWWWW.

  32. I had a revolver ready for a headshot at point blank. Wasn’t prepared to try for a distance shot, and headshots to a ram have to be straight to the crown or the back of the head. Front shots with a .22 can bounce. I’ll figure something out.

  33. I’m having visions of a guy chasing sheep around a pen with Bennie hill music in the background

  34. I’d come do it for you but it’s a three hour drive, and I need to pick up HotBride at the airport at midnight.

  35. No, I walk slowly while speaking softly. You can’t outrun a healthy ram, and I wasn’t about to try.

  36. I simply wasn’t prepared for that response. The first time, the hardest part of it was just the usual bit of steeling up to take the shot, catching was simple. Knowing now that the rest won’t just let me grab them just means I have another part to plan out and even more work to do.

  37. Think like a cowboy, Leon.

    Are you any good with a lasso?

  38. Too bad they aren’t like cats, otherwise you could just put an empty beer box in their pen, and wait 5 minutes.

  39. Lasso is on the list of possible solutions, as is a crook, which I so far have not needed. More violent than I wanted it to be, but it’s got to get done, and it’s less risk of a bad shot merely wounding an animal if I take it at range. Minimizing stress and unnecessary injury makes it tricky business. If we can “trap” them in a smaller corral, this gets much easier.

  40. Here’s what you do….first get yer flame thrower….

  41. Leon do they go under cover / shed / pen / barn at night?

  42. They have shelters in the paddock they share with Donny and Richard. We took Donny and Richard into the barn last night so they wouldn’t be in with the sheep this morning when I went in to get one.

    I considered going in very early to try and catch them asleep tomorrow, but the wife says they are light sleepers.

  43. cowboy it up, saddle a horse. go git em!

  44. nice, you have a mule named dick

  45. They aren’t running far, just around. I’m more likely to fall off the horse than to lasso from one.

  46. Jay, you haven’t heard the story of how we met Richard?

  47. I both did and did not name him that.

  48. I’m so tired.

    /cries

  49. Once upon a time in Belleville, in mid Summer when I still worked in Dearborn, I was out feeding the horses before leaving for work and a miniature stallion appeared to be trying to get the attention of the two mares we had at the time. I knew he was a stallion because he was showing the girls the goods, which were not proportional to his short stature.

    Went inside to grab the wife, because I didn’t want to be the horse wrangler for this situation (or any, really) and she catches him in our spare paddock with some grain as bait, and he mostly calms down. At this point, I have named him Ricardo Grande for reasons best left as an exercise for the reader. After calling local PD, we eventually get ahold of his owner, a Greek immigrant gentleman who owns a small farm about a mile up the road. He walks over with a rope, and I bring Ricardo Grande out to him. He thanks us profusely and apologizes for the escaped horse coming to our place, tells us he’s been a breeding stallion in the past but hadn’t had any “dates” this month and might have just been lonely.

    As the man is leaving, I ask him what the horse’s name is.

    “Richard.”

  50. To the German Lawn Ornament Commander.

    NUTS!

    The American Ornament Destroyer Commander

    https://www.wearethemighty.com/articles/today-in-military-history-us-says-nuts-to-german-demand-for-surrender/

    77 years ago yesterday

  51. I’m so tired.

    /cries
    ——–
    Same here. Lola woke me up at 0100 panting and whining in her crate because she had to pee. She was out at 2200 for 15 minutes but she’s a psycho who won’t pee unless you stand there pointing to the grass and refuse to let her in until she goes.

    Just another whack job rescue dog

  52. I try and read every comment but I don’t remember that story haha. probably killed that brain cell or replaced it with some stupid programming problem

  53. got to make frosting but mostly done here

  54. Second look at fainting goats.

  55. hmm wonder if that can be taught to sheep

  56. *Hands Leon a note from the sheep*

    NUTS!

  57. They weren’t socialized enough, Pupster. I got them too old and never managed to make them completely trusting of me.

    It was a learning year, and I’ve learned. I’ll do things differently next year, or switch animals. At the start, I thought at worst I’d be getting them into the trailer to take to the packer. Then, no packers. I ended up learning a lot more than I meant to, and I’m actually glad for that, but the class isn’t over until there are no sheep on the hoof here.

    But yeah, I’m thinking rabbits and meat birds.

  58. For the wine drinkers on your Christmas list

    https://tinyurl.com/ycyca6re

  59. I dunno. I’m thinking maybe its pretty smart that they don’t trust you. For them. I mean.

  60. They should. They’re gonna die either way. Cooperate, and it’s over in a moment. Fight and die tired, stressed, and in pain.

  61. Sort of like vaccination …

  62. Its their Winter of Death and Misery, just like us.

  63. They were born for this, literally. I contracted to buy them prior to their conception. That’s how livestock works.

    I ain’t livestock, none of us is.

  64. that we know of. Bill Gates probably has plans for us.

  65. I’m sure he does. Hell has plans for him, too, I’m sure.

    You can respect human dignity, or not. Choices have consequences.

  66. *applies margarine to the blog

  67. My sheep have had better lives than Gates intends for us.

  68. Hell, he deserves it just for Windows ME…

  69. My computer is urging me to upgrade to windows 11. Should I?

  70. NO

  71. Baaaaaaah.

  72. Wait I got a idea. Ethan needs to stay in shape n Leon needs a dead sheep. OK. OK. Give Ethan a big knife, his boots n a pair of shorts. Then he runs to Leon’s, gets all stabby on the sheep and runs back. Carrying a log of course. Win win right?

    Ps. No using bridges, has to swim every water obstacle

  73. Big knife?

    Luxury!

  74. Ben told me the oil truck made a delivery this morning while I was out and I just looked at the invoice.

    188.5 gallons at $3.29 per … ouch

    *adds another log to the wood stove*

  75. And yes, #FJB

  76. Wait I got a idea.

    Hahahaha. Heeheehee. Wait, even better he has to fight every inflatable decoration on the way. WITH HIS MIND.

    YOU GOT THIS ETHAN.

  77. Wood pellets become a cheaper option at about $3.00 per gallon.

  78. I just made Cyn’s Easy Cookies and I miss her terribly.

    Easy 3 Peanut Butter Cookies

  79. Seems like tackling a lamb and subduing it is appropriate test material for cooking school.

  80. I believe Mr. Pink and Mr. Floyd had something to say about all this:

  81. In SERE school they used to get some kinda critter. Care for it a couple of days then eat it. But that was back when a guy named Nick Rowe ran the course. Nick had managed to survive 5 years in a viet cong pow camp in South Vietnam before escaping. He darn near died immediately after being rescued cause they let him eat whatever he wanted and the input overloaded his system. He was assassinated in his driveway in the Philippines years later, it was his fault, he knew and had been advised to take cover, he refused.

  82. I finally started my copy of Durable Trades. Shepard is literally the first thing in the book.

    In my defense, I had to learn the trade from books and yootoob videos. I have no mentor in this, and my family thought I should go to college, so I wasted all the years when my body would have been fit for the work without fail, instead of me having to work another full-time job while I’m fighting perpetual colds my daughter brings home and trying to schedule slaughters around meetings.

    In light of that, I’m not doing too badly.

  83. It does not help that I have no help nor mentors. I barely have suppliers.

  84. *becomes quail farmer*

  85. It wasn’t as quiet at work as I expected. More people but no mask Nazis. I worked on a project with an acronym I haven’t figured out yet.

  86. I’m 40 pages in now, haven’t even got to the actual section on trades, just the prologue discussing history and currency debasement and the industrial revolution, and it’s fantastic so far.

  87. shepherd

  88. Autocucumber took it the way I typed it, but you’re right.

  89. So Leon’s all baaaaaaaaaaa humbug?

  90. And Bro Tim takes the lead!

  91. I just have to frost one cake and fill goodie bags and I am finished with my pre-Christmas prep. BOOYAH.

    You should see this new recipe for bread I have. It’s awesome. I saw it on another blogger website that I won’t mention because I don’t think he wants other people to know he’s blogging. I adapted it to be a sourdough recipe instead of instant yeast. I call it ‘Butter Bread.’

    Because it’s full of butter. My house smells like melted butter when I make it.

    I wonder what would happen if I browned the butter first? Next time. Next time. Damn, why did I just think of that after they’re all done.

  92. Leon the rabbot razing gig is a good one.
    They’re easy to deal with.
    Low oder.
    Fast tern around time.
    And tasty.

  93. No composting needed on the manure, either. A little lean, but I’ve got egg yolks for fat, and I can raise meat chickens at the same time.

  94. I’ve been watching the Mark Steyn clips on GB TV. They have a lot of ads for vacationing in the Canary Islands. Anyone here been there? It looks really pretty.

    Though I should finish seeing all 50 states first.

  95. I love rabbit, but if I had to choose, chicken wins. Easier, moister, and the fat tastes good. It’s a good thing rabbits are lean. Their fat is obnoxious and must be cut away if present.

  96. *looks around at everybody sleeping*

    *Jumps another inflated lawn ornament to death*

    *wipes knife clean on Rudolph’s ass*

    OK. That had to be done. TBC.

    Happy Christmas Eve, folks.

    Hi, Sean. Your derp game remains peerless.

  97. Hello, lumps, and merry Christmas Eve!

    Deborah enjoys receiving presents.


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