Meming Alive


  1. it’s glorious!

  2. *closes ad for Jay’s post*

  3. iPod one is funny but no one will know what an iPod is in about 10 years. I hardly see them now.

  4. Knew a guy who had worked for a mortician before going on to new horizons. Among other duties he would pick up bodies for transport to the funeral home.
    At some point after death bodies can start building up gas in the intestines from ongoing bacterial activity and can fart. Which apparently is pretty creepy when it is just you and the corpse driving on a quiet, dark street.

    “Work stories” are either glorious or “ewwww”

  5. Nothing finer than a bushel of calm tits

  6. Maybe a peck of them

  7. One of my ROTC buds came from a family of morticians. He looked the part. Went active duty in one of the pencil pushing branches.

  8. My nurse friend said she had two Covid patients last week. That’s it. Both has complete course of vaccination.

    The media is lying to us. Again.

  9. Last night Scott and I went out with the blacklight to find the hornworm that has been causing damage to my potted tomato in the front yard. It was HUGE!! As big as my index finger. Scott killed him with a scissor and the thing burst forth a fountain of black blood, so fucking disgusting. I went out there today and the torrent is still evident on leaves and fruit. A yellowjacket was working the carcass.

    This news has been brought to you you by I’m Not Really Gardening Solutions, LLC™.

  10. Pod one is funny but no one will know what an iPod is in about 10 years. I hardly see them now.

    I feel ya.

    Twenty years ago when I bought my boat I swapped out the AM/FM/Cassette player for a newer model that had a CD drive. This weekend I swapped that one out for one with bluetooth. In twenty years I’ll be 92, so I probably won’t give a fuck anymore.

  11. Scott ran across data the other day that shows the ‘breakthrough’ infection rate among vaccinated persons is identical to that among the non-vaccinated.


  12. In Connecticut, that is.

  13. LOL

    Biden says he used to drive an 18-wheeler.

    Stolen valor.

  14. I would be shocked if Bribem has ever had a real job in his whole pathetic life.

  15. Well, there was that one time when he was a lifeguard.

  16. I don’t believe he even did the near-obligatory “2 years as a partner in a small law firm” that every other asshole in DC does.

  17. I’ve heard Kamala used to work on trains.

  18. Scott ran across data the other day that shows the ‘breakthrough’ infection rate among vaccinated persons is identical to that among the non-vaccinated.

    hmm, almost like the vaccine doesn’t make a difference, huh?

    death rate is down, and the hospitals aren’t being overrun.

  19. Given the links we already know exist between just a general positive attitude and normal immunity, it’s entirely possible that any improvements attributed to the ‘vaccines’ are entirely due to placebo effect.

    Negative reporting will kill the placebo effect.

  20. I agree. Just commenting on the overall effect on death and hospitals.

  21. Nice job MJ.

  22. Locking people up and destroying their businesses and stealing an election can cause depression and feelings of anxiety, leaving one more prone to infection from the opposite effect.

    But I’m sure the WuFlu is really a super-deadly megaplague that really did all the damage.

  23. Re: hornworm killin’ – Mini-me is the designated bug-killer at her college apartment. The other 4 girls shriek at the sight of a spider.

    Saw a covid discussion group on Facedouche, thought, “huh, that hadn’t been shut down by Zuck?”, joined it. Even got a warning that it may discuss unapproved covid treatments. Fine, sure. It’s all vaccinated people ranting about the unvaccinated. Never mind.

  24. I still don’t get why the unvaccinated are the problem. It makes no sense at all.

  25. Ed Zachary.

    If you’re vaccinated why do you give a fuck about someone else’s decision?

  26. Infidels, heretics, and heathens are always the problem when you’re building a theocracy, MJ.

  27. Your sunscreen helps keep me safe from skin cancer.

  28. These are the same people who enjoy homeowner associations, historic district commissions, design review boards, and public schools.

  29. Anyone else think it was actually sort of a tragedy that Markie Post was stuck playing a female lawyer in the era of shoulderpads and ugly bangs and Callista Flockhart got to do tight blouses and pencil skirts?

    Just me?

  30. Comment by Pupster on July 29, 2021 11:17 am
    Nice job MJ.

    Well, he is pretty busy training for the Ragnar.

  31. And Markie Post still looked better.

  32. and the hospitals aren’t being overrun.

    They weren’t overrun…ever, with this particular lab event.
    Last times they were, the Civil War, and 1918.

  33. Comment by MJ on July 29, 2021 11:33 am
    I still don’t get why the unvaccinated are the problem. It makes no sense at all.


    Just to put pressure on people to get vaccinated. Remember with masks, it was “wear a mask to protect yourself”, then when people didn’t comply, they pivoted to “wear a mask to protect others, if you don’t wear a mask, you’re putting everybody else at risk!!!” Plus penalizing business for not enforcing their orders.

    Same thing now. If you don’t get a vax, you’re endangering everyone else, basically you’re assaulting people and must be punished. It’s going to be the same playbook with making businesses enforce vax mandates.

    The desperation to get everyone to comply is what’s disturbing. Why the fuck are they so desperate? If it was money, they could just fudge the numbers the vax companies produce. Who can track the shots given, other than the feds?

  34. They probably found that old gentleman’s body. In a lake. They found someone’s body. It had been in the water for a bit and they couldn’t identify positively.

  35. Jay, with or without the vaccine, rates for infection/hospitalization/death become smaller because viruses always fade away. It’s scientific law.

  36. Carin, sorry to hear that.

  37. Heh, Bannon on Warroom: Trump won CA

    I believe it, but you gotta prove it. voter rolls are all screwed up, millions of invalids

  38. Not what I said. Mortality rate for vaccinated people who get covid is the same.

  39. So, I get an ad on facedouche for something called “Peacock” – telling me to tune in so I can watch the olypmics on their … platform.

    And something jumps out at me. Every single athlete (3 of them) on the ad is black. Click through to see if they somehow balance it out … nope. Main page. Black and Asian athletes on the top.

    You can scroll down to see some white people in USA uniform – but they seem to be more stories of some sort, not necessarily about any athlete.

  40. And, of course, one is the quitter gymnast WHO I NOW REALIZE IS THE BRAVEST AMERICAN TO EVER PUT ON A USA TEAM UNIFORM.

  41. Scott, Scott, scott. Poor, naive Scott. Numbers don’t matter. What is reported by the CDC and repeated by the useful idiots is truth.

    And Truth is what they tell you it is.

  42. We are witnessing sorcery on a scale undreamed of in the psilocybin-infused musings of even the most megalomaniacal ancient vizier.

  43. My only hope at this point is that the monster will turn on those who made it.

    The mandate for federal employees is just another loyalty test, but it would be marvelous if it had unforeseen consequences for the loyal.

  44. Hornworms are intimidating as heck. Some years back I was pinching suckers off a tomato plant and almost grabbed a hornworm, he blended in so well. They are HYUGE. I squealed like Rosetta with a bird on his head, and I ran inside to tell my critter killer to remove it immediately. He may have popped it, I don’t know, but it’s carcass was flung out into the rough.

    Looked it up to see what it becomes if left unpopped and feeding on maters. Hmm, it becomes a hummingbird moth, which helps in pollination. I saw one of those in my flower garden, once. Mistook it for a hummingbird as it buzzed by my head, until it landed on a flower. Talk about ugly ducklings turning into swans…

  45. Catman is a grandpa, and it’s a beautiful little girl!

  46. The mandate for federal employees is just another loyalty test

    Gonna wait and see because the VA is already in revolt against it. Plan A is keep working and use religious exemption. Plan B is if they require me to pay to be tested, deliberately be unavailable. (“I don’t have my results back, sorry.” Not unreasonable in a town this size this heavily dependent on gov’t.) Plan C is quit, find a job with a contractor who doesn’t require it. This works until they require contractors to have it, which would also affect Mr. RFH. Plan D is quit and be a kept woman, maybe do more writing.

    I’m taking a hard look at all our finances later today.

  47. Get a lawyer, make them fire you.

  48. The news reported that if fed workers can’t prove vax status, they have to test regularly (how often) and wear a mask. That’s how they’re skirting around ‘forcing’.

  49. But note there is no exception for natural immunity.

  50. Natural immunity doesn’t exist, it’s not profitable.

    Also eating a low-carb diet to cure type-2 diabetes is dangerous and should not be done. You need insulin and testing strips, patient.

  51. The other thing that will slow down my leaving is my property inventory. I have something like $12 million in equipment. I transferred four items today and will keep whittling it down whilst all this crap is going on.

  52. And if you tell people to eat low carb to treat diabetes we will put you in jail.

  53. Religious exemption, roamy. Or maybe even medical as you have a good one. I’d hate to see you and others like you, quit….where the only ones left are leftists borgs running all the things.

    Then consult a lawyer. I wonder what Robert Barnes has to say about this. He’s already lining up cases.

  54. Beasn, we’re being told weekly testing, probably $100 a pop.

  55. Saw a headline that the postal union put out a statement that they aren’t happy with mandatory shots…but then blah, blah, “to be negotiated”.

  56. roamy, then them fucks can pay for it. That is truly an unnecessary hardship to place on people..especially those with exemptions.

  57. No way do those tests cost $100.

  58. Postal union around here is mostly black – we hardly even have any black people out in Lapeer, but it still holds true.

    Black vaccination rate currently is around 25%, so good luck with that.

  59. You know, those black trumpers.

  60. This is a good read. The entire thing, not just the part cribbed by Ace.

    The Nuremberg Code consists of 10 principles, the first of which being that the voluntary consent of the human subject is absolutely essential in any experiment on humans.

  62. Training over Zoom. He’s going over basic Excel functions.

    Pray for oso…

  63. Twitter: It’s Jesse Kelly’s anniversary

    His wife has an awesome sense of humor, hahahaha

  64. =concat(“this”, “is”, “boring”)

  65. Jay, exactly.

  66. How to copy excel functions.

    Kill. Me. Nao.

  67. Sounds riveting.

    Maybe they’ll work up to *gasp* a pivot table.

  68. I never work in Excel, so record it for me. I just do joins and filters in pandas and the like.

  69. Excel! Fun. I spend most of my time at work futzing around with Excel spreadsheets. Been doing this for the better part of the last 20 years.

    I’m sofa king sick of spreadsheets.

  70. mitch, I feel terrible that you have the same name as McConnell. Really makes you think how one bad mitch can bring down all mitches.

    What should we call you instead? Cheesebag #2?

  71. OK, which of you jackholes used functions to spam “thisisboring” in my spreadsheet?

  72. I used to do more with macros, too. Before I started here they went through a period where they’d scan certain forms to input into our systems. Since the joint’s on a shoestring budget, the OCR was probably a few years behind…so we’re probably talking about the most mediocre OCR the budget could squeeze in in, what, 2005 or so? Yeah.

    So anyway, the thing is some of it was email addresses, and I had to pull together email lists for certain things, and a number of those “addresses” were absolute garbage that a human would recognize on sight. (This is why scanning was abandoned, it was actually more efficient just to type the crap in by hand. I digress.) To deal with this, I used the info tech skills still fairly fresh in my head to make a spreadsheet with macros just to filter out the BS “addresses” that didn’t fit into the most basic format a regular expression could recognize as possibly being a valid email address. This actually filtered out the majority of the crap.

    I still use it today, because I also set it up to recognize and filter out repeats.

    And now you know one of the reasons I hate my life!

  73. MJ,

    Yeah, the Turtle was ejected from the League of Mitches some years ago and we sent him a notice that he had to change his name to Michael. So far he has refused to comply. Bastard.

    I ain’t changing my name, although if you want you can call me “Stunning & Brave”.

    I have to go re-write some more of Brother Tim’s excel functions. BBL
    Stay fresh cheesebags.

  74. Now we’re doing calculations for estimations. As a group. Via zoom and shared screens. This is a shitshow.

  75. Leon, i don’t mind excel, and it’s fine for most things, but I really wish I could do something that involved more work with some other programs. If I was still at the Ohio Legislature, i would be working on a personal project to turn the 20 meg excel workbook that was the school funding model into an R script or even a python script linked into QGis.

  76. Beasnsnsnsn, do you have Instagram?

    mr_hobnob is a pretty cute guinea pig site.

  77. Ha! I love that Jesse Kelly deal.

  78. Buyden just posted this on The Douche™

    Our economy grew at the fastest rate in nearly 40 years during the first half of the year.
    Consumer confidence is up.
    Jobs are up.
    Personal income is up.
    Unemployment is down.
    We’re getting America back on track.

  79. He’ll say anything won’t he?

  80. Pelosi is going to arrest congresscritters who don’t wear masks

    This is a photo op for all GOP lawmakers, see if they will do it.

  81. Actually, she specifically says not to arrest members, only visitors. The members will be reported to the sergeant at arms.

  82. I don’t think that she can arrest members. They are protected by the constitution.

  83. We all are, no one has the authority she’s asserting.

  84. Nanzi has no more authority to mandate face diapers than she has to mandate clown shoes.

  85. If you don’t put on your covid clown shoes you’re literally killing people.


  86. *thinks*


  87. For you Excel jockeys:

  88. Meh, I usually find if I have to perform those sorts of transformations and corrections on a regular basis, it’s easier to run it as an R or VBA script.

  89. Wow. Customer asked me to chuck a few items from an auction lot he purchased. In the chuck pile was 2 antique dolls. I know some people are gaga over those so I put one on eBayy.

    Within 20 minutes I got an offer of $129.

    Heh, This auction could get interesting.

  90. Good luck, Scott.

    Alex, David’s been on an Excel kick lately, but he’s got a ton of older stuff on R and data science in general that you might enjoy.

  91. Hats off to the medical community, they virtually eliminated flu in 2020/21. Gotta be the explanation, right?

  92. Ugh, link!!

  93. I’m starting a Society 6 mask business. What do you want your mask to say?

    I’ll start…”Does the vaccine work?”

  94. The latest numbers show that covid deaths are at the lowest since the start of the pandemic. This from a Harvard professor. I couldn’t link the chart.

  95. Anyone who believes the economy/consumer confidence /unemployment is looking up is a dipshit.

  96. Scar Jo suing Disney – HA! Is there a way they can BOTH lose?

  97. The role is done and she’s hit the wall, may as well try to mug the Mouse.

    Jessica Biel would have been a better Widow anyhow.

  98. mr_hobnob is a pretty cute guinea pig site.

    Thanks mare, I’ll have to look him up.

  99. Pepe, You did see they admitted their rapid covid test could tell the difference between the Flu and Covid, right?

  100. Shit couldn’t not could. Complete changes the sentence meaning. I don’t know why my brain misses those mistakes.

  101. Also I’ve always thought Scarlet Johansson was way over rated.

  102. So a few months ago we stopped getting the mortgage bill for the rental, which we specifically had sent to our primary residence. We suspected they signed us up for paperless billing via some cagey “if you don’t respond we’re gonna do it” like Lowes and the electric company pulled. Went on the bank site and couldn’t find where to unsign if that is what happened. So until we could figure it out I just transferred the payment from checking.

    Then we decided to just pay the damn balance off because 5 1/2% interest. We were waiting for the pay-off letter to come in the mail.

    FF to today. Apparently, without our knowledge or permission, the bank had started to send our mortgage bill to the rental for the past several months, along with the PAID IN FULL notice. Our son-in-law just tossed these envelopes, addressed to Mr. B, in a pile, in his office and forgetting about it. W.T.F? He assumed it wasn’t anything important because he assumed everybody paid their bills online.
    We’ve seen them a couple of times a month, of which I’d give daughter work mail she still gets here and they couldn’t be bothered to give us ours?
    We never thought to ask them because we never had anything addressed to us over there.

    Oy, I can’t even.
    Gonna have to have a talk with the girl …she better learn what he’s doing with their money. (He’s super interested in bitcoin and that worries me.)

  103. Well, that was an interesting afternoon of on-site work. ICYMI, the space station decided to go for a spin. The new Russian segment started firing its thrusters, moving the whole thing out of kilter, and it was “push me, pull you” between the Nauka and Zvezda modules until either they sorted it out or the Nauka ran out of fuel.

    I give the Russians credit for saving the space station multiple times in Congressional budget votes and by sending astronauts up on the Soyuz (fuck you, Obama), but they still give my engineering heart the heebies-jeebies the way they do things.

  104. Addendum, he had 20k in student loans and a car payment, coming into the marriage. She had a nice little start of a nest egg she brought to the table.


    Now we get to see if the leak rate has increased and if anything onboard has been damaged.

  106. Beasn, that drives me crazy when they ignore mail. We got three notices for car recalls. I gave them to Mr. RFH because that’s his job. I think it was 3 or 4 months before he looked at them.

  107. I’m horrible. You guys have real lives. Dan is trying to plan a trip to Molokai that doesn’t involve ferries or mules.

  108. home for a military funeral something. not the actual funeral because covid months ago, but a ceremony at a veterans cemetery.

  109. Taps will never not make me cry. Squishy 🐻 hugs, 🌪

  110. Every time I’ve tapped your mom she cried. I’m writing it off to ecstasy but who knows?

  111. Leon bait, “thighage”.

  112. She seems nice.

  113. Dem quadz.

  114. I like her skort.

  115. Tucker Carlson is fast becoming a hero of mine.

    Calling out the idiot SoD. Calling Kamala Willy Brown’s girlfriend. Calling Nader out for his no mask while being fat.

    Tucker is a National treasure.

  116. I hear thunder.
    The stifling heat is supposed to break over night and then the next 4 days should be low 80s.

  117. I get six fucking offers from my credit card company every month, which is why I went to paperless. Of course, I basically never use my credit cards, and have a spreadsheet showing how much I’m paying off each month of my debts and when they’re due, so I’m probably not the average.

  118. Mike Lindell pulling his My Pillow ads from fox when they refused to run an ad for his symposium on election fraud.

  119. Another friend gone. One of the other school moms died of a heart attack caused by a blood clot. Gotta wonder if it was the vaccine (she changed her avatar to brag that she got it).

  120. I also found out that I can’t quit without a better alternative on health insurance than what Mr. RFH’s company offers. Bummed about that but fairly confident that gov’t won’t have their shit together on banning me any time soon.

  121. So the gal who runs a couple of the programs I work on is Russian. She can be so argumentative. There was turnover in the Gov. office that funds one of the main programs. The new guy wants us to change direction and we can no longer keep doing the same thing. Today she was being such a pain on the call and resistant to the change I won’t be surprised if she is pushed off the program. If she is I won’t be disappointed. She has no ability to prioritize and if asked what needs to be done first she thinks everything should be done the same time. It’s madding at times. Russians are an odd people.

  122. Sorry to hear about your school mom acquaintance, Roamie. I wonder if her family would tell anyone if it was related to the vaccine.

    It’s gonna reach a tipping point if it happens enough times – I just don’t know what the magic number is.

    I’m betting that when we reach it, it’s going to be “Trump’s vaccine”, and then anecdotes will start coming out like roaches at night.

  123. Drake equipped rural physicians.

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