U N Meme

113 Comments

  1. Excellent line up
    Best,
    Jimbro

  2. Love these

    See you in hell,

    Mare

  3. wakey wakey

  4. EABOSD

    Best,

    MJ

  5. Rage against the machine is definitely a printer. Mine scared the crap outta me – I was home alone, house was all quiet, rebooted my laptop, and for some reason there was a file waiting in the printer queue and it finally decided to randomly print. Or the printer is just possessed by a demon, wouldn’t surprise me, it’s an Epson.

  6. 33 this morning at moms. I can’t remember freezing in late may

  7. last frost date here is June 10th or something by me.

  8. I’m going to need a sheep update.

  9. there weren’t many sheep last night by my count. boy did I sleep good. cardinals ended after midnight

  10. 0 here.

  11. April 30 is last freeze date here. June sounds awfully late for Lapeer

  12. 5 sheep, still alive and apparently healthy after 6 days. The come to a shaken grain scoop now, but they are still pretty skittish. Leg O Las is in the running to be the future breeding ram based on behavior, but he’s young yet and that may change.

  13. Each winter, on average, your risk of frost is from

    September 29 through May 8.

    Almost certainly, however, you will receive frost from October 23 through April 19.

    You are almost guaranteed that you will not get frost from May 28 through September 5.

    It was 34 last night. So ….. yea, that’s awful close to freezing.

  14. I guess India is overshadowing the covid news, but apparently Malaysia is getting hit hard. I play a dumb Facedouche game, and one of my team members is a doctor with the Ministry of Health. They’re in total lockdown for the next two weeks. He’s had to get a neighbor to look after his dog because he’s working overtime at the hospital.

  15. sounds like the Olympics are in danger

  16. Fine group of memes. I’m definitely trying the smiley face thing.

  17. Batman after marriage cracked me up pretty well.

  18. Your mom’s grapehole is somewhere else on her body.

    And she spells it “potato.”

  19. I just checked, and I think candle flame smells more like blisters and pus.

  20. I covered some plants in the flower border last night and it’s still windy and cold. So there’s no reason to uncover them until probably tomorrow. Mid to upper 40s here. Bummer about everybody’s Memorial Day weekend plans. I’ll be working anyway.

  21. 50 degrees and cloudy with light rain, zero sheep in the forecast

    I got the lawn mowed early before the rain hit and was cold despite long pants and a t-shirt/flannel shirt. I started before 0800 which is my usual weekend rule but 0730 was close enough and I began in the back yard away from the neighbors who really ought to be up and drinking coffee or Bloody Marys by then anyway

  22. Your weekend rule sucks. It’s 10AM here, especially on Sunday mornings. And because I don’t get home until midnight and can’t fall asleep until 01:30.

    Our neighbor owns a landscaping/hardscaping company and sometimes early in the morning he’s loading trailers or using small heavy equipment in his backyard and wakes me up that way. His nickname in my home is “Beep-beep,” after the backup beeps his stupid machines make at 7am. Gah.

  23. Heat is on.

    Latest heat on date ever.

  24. https://is.gd/L2mEaq

    (Imgur video with sound)

  25. I never start the mower before 11. The rest of the neighborhood has no such restriction. Boy2 is sleeping between 7AM and 5PM but that’s showbusiness, baby.

  26. Currently 69. I’m talking temp here, people. Expected high, 84. We’re usually pushing high nineties by now. Got 2.2 inches yesterday. We’re talking rain here, people.

  27. When I had my brick and mortar business, I had a client from San Diego who had been moved out to the northeast by her corporate bosses. That first real rWinter of her life was quite snowy and unpleasant even by our standards. Then followed a Spring that was raw, dark, and cold, not much above 40 degrees and rainy all the way through May. It only started warming up in June. She was shocked and depressed, couldn’t deal with our weather. She paid out of pocket to transfer back to California.

    It was an atypical year, but she didn’t know that, and even if it was 50% less shitty she probably still wouldn’t have been able to cope.

  28. I didn’t turn the radiant heat off in the mud room yet and Rowan wants to curl up in a ball out there but I gave him the boot. Gotta keep the door shut because Ollie likes to retrieve shoes from out there and chew the laces.

  29. I had to freeze my clotted cream to stop myself from just spooning into it continually.

    I have this idea about stirring it with roasted garlic and hot crabmeat and plopping the buttery creamy mixture straight onto a nice steak.

  30. Oh my God it would make the best lobster roll ever

  31. Currently 69. I’m talking temp here, people. Expected high, 84. We’re usually pushing high nineties by now. Got 2.2 inches yesterday. We’re talking rain here, people.

    ———

    None of this was about weather.

  32. I had to freeze my clotted cream to stop myself from just spooning into it continually.

    I have this idea about stirring it with roasted garlic and hot crabmeat and plopping the buttery creamy mixture straight onto a nice steak.
    ———
    Or this about food

  33. Ha!

  34. Paula just got home from the Murph Challenge and handed me a cup of coffee from a half pot I just made. As she handed me the cup her eyes got really wide and she said “DON”T MOVE!”. Of course I made like a statue and she proceeded to pull a tick off the top of my wrist, just under the edge of my sleeve. Can’t blame the dogs for that one, must’ve picked it up mowing

  35. EABOSD

    ——-

    Eat a bag of several dicks?

  36. Yikes, Jimbro, that’s scary.

    Ticks are dicks.

  37. client from San Diego

    Ohio to MN wasn’t that big of a move, but 2 weeks below zero and a blizzard in fuckin April chased me right out. I love the climate in North Carolina, just right as goldilocks would say.

  38. Ticks are bad this year, according to the neighbors. I haven’t seen any but I should have, with all the deer and field mice we have around here.

  39. Bop em on the head.

  40. Pumpkin patch mounds are halfway done, taking a break so wife can go run an errand. It’s astounding how much less work gets done when there’s a kid around.

  41. Pumpkin patch mounds are halfway done, taking a break so wife can go run an errand. It’s astounding how much less work gets done when there’s a kid around.

    To paraphrase our resident philosopher, Mare, none of this is about labor.

  42. https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/bofa-transitory-hyper-inflation-ahead

  43. So we’re heading for stagflation, crises in the middle east, and global cooling.

    If we’re getting the Seventies back, the ‘ettes should get their Seventies bodies as well.

  44. Spicy.

    Eat a bag of spicy dicks.

  45. Years ago my cousin was on Facedouche talking about her upcoming move from Oregon to Colorado, and how much she looked forward to having actual snow. I replied, “yeah, until it snows in May.”

    Her response, “you’re joking, right?”

    Her first summer there it snowed in late May, IIRC.

  46. https://thefederalist.com/2021/05/28/paul-ryan-is-wrong-to-diminish-the-culture-war/

    Paul Ryan is an idiot. He’s an establishment hack who either still doesn’t get it, or doesn’t want to get it. He keeps talking about tax cuts, while the left is pushing through the ability to sterilize your children, mutilate them, and poison them with hormones. He talks about deregulation, while the left wants to flood our country with millions of third-world workers to drive down wages. He talks about government spending while while our schools preach racial hatred.

  47. Give that kid some chores, leon. A couple of years on, she’ll be a pro with valuable skills.

  48. Just getting her outside is a chore sometimes.

  49. And Paul Ryan is a very smart guy. He’s just a snake.

    By which I mean reptoid.

  50. Will be getting down to the low 40s again, overnight. My tomato plant is NOT happy.

    We will be having the kids over on Memorial Day. Going to cook up some of that 20 lb catfeesh Mr. B caught a couple of weeks ago.

  51. Will be getting down to the low 40s again, overnight. My tomato plant is NOT happy.

    Euphemism?

  52. Comment by leoncaruthers on May 29, 2021 2:10 pm
    Just getting her outside is a chore sometimes.

    Tell her you need to work outside, and that she can play in the shade but she is going outside.

  53. Turn the chores into a game and appeal to her female innate nurturing side. Give her chicken duty in exchange for a small weekly allowance. Money always motivated my daughter.

  54. Perhaps Salma might have a word with Lena Dunham

  55. The seventies are back? I’m breaking out my disco and Pink Floyd albums!

  56. The seventies are back. I couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison with a fist full of pardons back then either.

  57. Paul Ryan is an idiot. He’s an establishment hack who either still doesn’t get it, or doesn’t want to get it. He keeps talking about tax cuts, while the left is pushing through the ability to sterilize your children, mutilate them, and poison them with hormones. He talks about deregulation, while the left wants to flood our country with millions of third-world workers to drive down wages. He talks about government spending while while our schools preach racial hatred.

    ——–

    *High fives Alex*

  58. Pumpkin patch is mounded. Unless I do some container gardening on the deck I think that’s going to be the only garden this year. Hopefully the pumpkin stover and the compost we can accumulate between now and next spring will be enough to fully cover that space for normal gardening next year.

  59. Don’t know if this has been linked here already or not – a must-read.

    “The Drug That Cracked COVID” – the author is a multiple Pulitzer nominee and writer for the NYT. Had to publish in his wife’s local interest magazine because nobody else would touch it.

    https://tinyurl.com/jpyaf622

  60. The downside of taking horse ivermectin is that your schlong gets too big for normal underwear.

    *receives Nobel Prize for ending pandemic*

  61. J’ames, why is Captain Stubing getting all the love? Murray from MTM.

  62. Day from HELL. Every Amigo is in use. Fat assed Member “At least during the pandemic, I was always able to get an electric cart”. AYFKM? That’s the takeaway? It got worse.

  63. Mrs. Pupster stepped into the grocery store today for the first time in almost a year, just needed a few things for dinner, I dropped her off and scooped her up. We’ve been curbside and delivery since this shit started, Boy1 shops for himself while she waits outside. Still 75% maskers versus free breathers.

  64. Great link TiFW. Makes you wonder what’s REALLY GOING ON.

  65. Every time I go to any kind of store I see people younger and lighter than me using the electric carts. It’s all I can manage not to say, “What the fuck is your problem?”

  66. Today was easily 50/50. Family of 7. Illegals. Yes, you can tell. Accents and clothing are the giveaway. Height. Anyhow, no one is wearing masks. Not parents. Not 5 children. Concerned Nancy wants to know why they aren’t wearing masks? 🐻They don’t have to. Karen “They aren’t fully vaccinated. No one is vaccinating their children in NM. What are you going to do about it!”. Nothing. We can’t do anything. We have alternatives to in person shopping”. Karen “I want a manager”. Manager had my back, but sheesh.

  67. We used to call Karen’s “Nancy’s” back in the day.

  68. Nothing but IOWAns, as far as the eye can see…

  69. IOWA = I Only Want an Amigo…?

  70. Idiots Out Wandering Around

  71. I don’t get captain steubing

  72. I watched a big beardo dude roll up in a green dodge challenger, parked facing the wrong way in the fire lane, directly in the crosswalk in front of the main door and threw it in park and walked in the store. 7 minutes later he came out and left. BEER RUN. I mean, he was 15-20 feet away from the parking lot, blocking every-fucking-body. Nope. Deadcenter crosswalk blocking wrong-wayer at the curb. At least he didn’t wear a mask.

  73. Thursday was the first day I’ve been inside a building that wasn’t a private residence in over a year. 50/50 on faces/no-faces. Indiana, but on the border. I might go to TSC this week in Michigan, where I’m told no fucks are given.

  74. Isaac wouldn’t get Murray

  75. BP gas station still has “Mask Required for Entry” on the door and I complied.

    Walgreens has a new sign, “Masks Recommended Unless Fully Vaccinated”. Nope. Everybody but me in the store was masked.

  76. “hursday was the first day I’ve been inside a building that wasn’t a private residence in over a year.”

    Holy crap, Leon, that’s absolutely nuts. I don’t know how you managed.

  77. Most places have that sign, but most won’t enforce it.

  78. I can be mask free in 7 days. I didn’t want to mask. J&J

  79. We are missing SD and La Jolla memories.

  80. Holy crap, Leon, that’s absolutely nuts. I don’t know how you managed.

    Curbside pick up. Lots of trips to the park. Misanthropy. Heavy drinking.

  81. Oso, you can be mask free right now if you just take off your mask.

  82. I can be fired if I take off my mask.

  83. Thursday is my mask free day.

  84. Keep the mask, lose the pants.

  85. Cannolis

  86. I don’t want you to be fired. I do wish none of you had to deal with this nonsense.

  87. https://www.thenation.com/article/society/great-outdoors-race-camping/

    “The Great Outdoors” was constructed as a place to go to escape the stress of modern life, to be more in touch with nature. We like to think of the great outdoors that this country has cultivated—national and public parks, campgrounds, and nature preserves—as representative of our democratic ideals: They are for everyone. But this belies their origin. Through military and legislative intervention, such as the Mariposa Battalion’s violent raid of the village of Ahwahneechee in 1851, which expelled the remaining Indigenous people from Yosemite, these places were cultivated primarily for white people. Early conservationists like Bowles, or the venerated John Muir or Madison Grant (who wrote one of the foundational texts of the American eugenics movement, The Passing of the Great Race: Or, The Racial Basis of European History), were not shy in advocating racial exclusivity: When they spoke of the importance of nature for our nation, they meant the white nation.

    Stay in your habitation pods, citizen. Do not leave the safety and equity of your residential block. Any wypipo who leave their designated residence zone and recreation areas will be subject to reduced mealworm protein rations.

  88. I’m reading Leaves of Grass, and although there are good things in here, there’s no way he needed 800 pages of this stuff.

  89. Camping is racist, because wypipo do it.

    Okay, I give up. You win. We can’t live together. I’ll pay out of my own pocket to send you anywhere you like. One way.

  90. they want us to leave without any of our wealth.

  91. Honestly, I’d be willing to take it if we’d be left alone. Within ten years we’d be back to where we are today, and they’d be living in a third-world hellhole.

  92. Third world hellhole is going to happen.

    10 years?
    30 years?

    Don’t care, I am old.

  93. I hope the burning times arrive before I’m non-ambulatory.

  94. Ryan and boehner are lock step with the pelosi and reed types.

  95. I’m sure they’re on lots o lists.

  96. 0 sheep here.

  97. Lots of sheeple tho.

  98. Went to a grocery sto last night for some staple items (Oreos and milk)
    A few peepoe sans mask.
    A local cop was standing at the check out area… eyeballing ppl.
    Me and one black dude that made a hard right for piano beach when he saw the cop were the only 2 without Fauci shields. I actually lol’d
    The masked cop didn’t seem to like my sense of humor… so I proceeded with donut and pastry jokes.

  99. A few weeks ago I walked into a restaurant without a mask that had a mask sign up. Everyone knows it is bullshit wearing a mask until you eat will save you. I respected the small businesses I patronized because I did not want them to be hurt by the government. I have not complied since. The hardware store is about 90/10 no mask, grocery stores are 50/50. At the Cstore I filled up at Thursday I was going to go in and buy a powerball ticket but 100% of those leaving while I filled up wore a mask so I said fuck it. I am not spending money there.

  100. Scott, you are not “OLD”.
    I’ll be 73 in 5 months.
    You have no idea what is in store for you.
    “Golden Years”, my ass…

  101. WTF is going on with used vehicle prices. They are worth more now than they were a year ago…? That’s what it said on the notice and purchase offer Scott got from the dealership for Banglar Party Van II. I also heard on the radio today about people at the end of an auto lease deal, where the buyout amount is thousands less than today’s resale value.

  102. A lot of city folk who fled during the pandemic are realizing that they need a car or a second car?

  103. I went to evening Mass with Rocketboy and DIL then treated them to dinner. Mass was 80% masked, 20% no mask (sign said “mask preferred”), restaurant had a sign on the door asking people to wear masks, but the only ones wearing masks inside were employees.

    I think that was the first time back to Mass for them since the bishop’s dispensation.

    I scanned over 100 photos today and talked to a lot of people.

    LOL’d at Pendejo’s weather report.

  104. On the used car market. A guy I golf with has a car dealership. He’s still having issues getting cars to sell. It’s that way for most if not all brands. Not enough new cars is driving up used car prices since the dealers and trying to get something to sell.

  105. Distributors eased retail prices.

  106. people at the end of an auto lease deal, where the buyout amount is thousands less than today’s resale value.

    We bought out the lease on Mrs. Pupster’s car, it was lower than comparable resale by about $1500. I think maybe the banks are sticking it to the car dealerships a little, I dunno.

  107. Don’t Touch Meme


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS