Impotent Update

So this really happened…

My 3.5 year old, upon his return from a few days at the beach, told his best friend at school that he had a dream about her and that he missed seeing her every day. Awwww. How cute is that? He also told her that in his dream they were making soup together.

You know, you have to give him credit for trying, but soup? I don’t have any idea where he got that idea or why he decided to tell Conley about it. Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Johnny Vulture, Benjamin Andre, Possum Jenkins, Dookie, Andre (Ice Cold) 3000, & The Love Haters- The best fake band of all time.

And now for the Bill Cosby Starter Pack…

120 Comments

  1. BRILLIANT

  2. And by soup he meant clam chowder

  3. Skydiving is an excellent way to blow out an ankle or knee before he becomes a SEAL.
    —–
    Way to apply the wet blanket to the Fun Town bonfire Mare

  4. Jimbro, I hesitated about saying it, but it happens, a lot. He’ll be jumping out of planes plenty of times…later. After he gets his trident.

  5. This is the world’s best poat. It has everything, a love story, money, betrayal, ether. I love it.

  6. That this position exists in the government tells me we are no longer the America we knew and loved:
    https://www.revolver.news/2021/05/biden-race-mercenary-bishop-garrison-declares-war-first-amendment/

  7. Why is Ohio having a lottery for vaccinated people? Why the huge push and where is the money coming from? Something is really wrong here.

  8. Whitmer’s shiny over botoxed face and over-capped (the idiot chose caps that are too big) teeth make her look horrible.

  9. it happens, a lot
    ——-
    I agree, just giving you some undeserved shit. At the age of 18 I went to jump school at Benning and survived it. In my class of about 300 – 400 people we had a lot of contusions and sprains, a few broken ankles and one femur fracture. Thankfully no deaths.

  10. For some reason, Liz Cheney being fat and unattractive makes me laugh. (Trump is right…again, she looks bitter and miserable) Generally, conservative women are attractive or at least try to be. They seem to have happy home lives and it shows. Her looks give her away. She’s been to too many lunches and dinners with defense contract lobbyists. And her political instincts proved faulty.

    Her figure is looking a lot like Hillary’s.

  11. Here’s Whitmer’s over botoxed face and ridiculous capped teeth:

  12. Well, my work is done here for now. Off to walk and try to get rid of my Liz Cheney-like menopausal frumpiness.

  13. (The following may or may not be of interest to those present.)

    Hymn of Breaking Strain
    Rudyard Kipling

    THE careful text-books measure
    (Let all who build beware!)
    The load, the shock, the pressure
    Material can bear.
    So, when the buckled girder
    Lets down the grinding span,
    ‘The blame of loss, or murder,
    Is laid upon the man.
    Not on the Stuff—the Man!

    But in our daily dealing
    With stone and steel, we find
    The Gods have no such feeling
    Of justice toward mankind.
    To no set gauge they make us—
    For no laid course prepare—
    And presently o’ertake us
    With loads we cannot bear:
    Too merciless to bear.

    The prudent text-books give it
    In tables at the end
    ‘The stress that shears a rivet
    Or makes a tie-bar bend—
    ‘What traffic wrecks macadam—
    What concrete should endure—
    but we, poor Sons of Adam
    Have no such literature,
    To warn us or make sure!

    We hold all Earth to plunder—
    All Time and Space as well—
    Too wonder-stale to wonder
    At each new miracle;
    Till, in the mid-illusion
    Of Godhead ‘neath our hand,
    Falls multiple confusion
    On all we did or planned—
    The mighty works we planned.

    We only of Creation
    (Oh, luckier bridge and rail)
    Abide the twin damnation—
    To fail and know we fail.
    Yet we – by which sole token
    We know we once were Gods—
    Take shame in being broken
    However great the odds—
    The burden of the Odds.

    Oh, veiled and secret Power
    Whose paths we seek in vain,
    Be with us in our hour
    Of overthrow and pain;
    That we – by which sure token
    We know Thy ways are true—
    In spite of being broken,
    Because of being broken
    May rise and build anew
    Stand up and build anew.

  14. Her face is so shiny.

    She should be the spokesperson for Turtle Wax.

  15. The military generally frowns on any new recruits doing dangerous stunts before they ship out. Training pipelines are designed to reduce the amount of time spent waiting for classes to start, and get new personnel into the force as quickly as possible. An injury throws that all into confusion, plus increases the risk that he’ll reinjure himself. I had a buddy who as a newly commissioned LT injured himself at airborne school. It delayed his infantry officer basic course date by months. The irony is that he was the only officer from our OCS class to get assigned to 82nd Airborne, but had to give up that slot because he could make the report date. The injury dogged him his entire military career, including killing his chances to complete ranger school.

  16. For an able student, Khan Academy, SkillShare, and MIT courseware could replace most of the educational component of an undergrad education.

  17. I don’t think separating people more is the answer.

    More kids behind screens is def not the answer.

  18. I agree with you Leon and I think the truly intelligent kids will understand that. What they may be missing is the insight that comes with age and experience or the willingness to listen to the people telling them that. Don’t forget the FOMO factor.

  19. Online coursework will be a fad, but eventually fade away as people realize that humans really aren’t wired to spend their days apart and at screens, especially kids. It might work for young adults, if combined with in-person jobs and social activities. Basically you work your job 9-5 and then study a couple hours in the evenings.

    For kids I’d much rather see a one-room schoolhouse model, where a teacher hangs out a shingle, and kids of multiple ages are in the same classroom.

  20. MJ, I wasn’t meaning to suggest that this is ideal or the best way, my point was more that you could do away with giant colleges and the right side of the bell curve will be fine at this point if they want to be. A lot is lost, though, and our culture needs to get that.

    Labs, critically, in the sense of lab classes, are still going to be critical for real expertise in chemistry, physics, mechanics, and engineering. Do you need a bunch of giant buildings and a football team for that, or would you be okay — if not better off — using a dead Circuit City and paying fees for reagents and equipment maintenance?

  21. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-confronted-police-who-say-24078477

    How about wearing something appropriate for being out all day in a crowded place? Daisy dukes aren’t it, darling.

    We’re a nation of trash.

  22. I agree with you, just being a bit of a contrarian. I’m totally biased but I think the college campus experience is really important.

    What I’d love to see is something more akin to college/liberal arts education from 75 or 100 years ago.

    I was really lucky to have studied what I did. I was super pissed I had to take prerequisites at all and tried to get out of them whenever possible. I can’t imagine what it is now.

  23. I was always trying to get out of shit, come to think of it.

    My fav moment was speaking to my counselor in the history department, arguing that my thesis should cover the asian studies requirement. The topic was MG interest and promotion of public health in India.

    He argued that I needed to take some bullshit class like Asian Mythology.

    I just sat in silence until it dawned on him.

  24. There is nothing quite like the classic college education. Sadly, what we have now is nothing like the classic college education. Remote learning would be an upgrade in comparison, and might make a useful interim replacement while what currently passes for secondary education is razed and rebuilt from scratch.

  25. I think our generation was the last to get anything like a classical education, at least at public universities.

  26. Carin, That dog day care story was great.

  27. I really enjoyed the dog story too.

  28. Back in the ’round parachute’ days, one was *much* more likely to get hurt. As in a hot air balloon, you are going downwind. If you guess the wind wrong, or it changes while you are under canopy, you can end up in a tree (me), on a roof, or in traffic. The landings were much more abrupt, hence the teaching of the ‘PLF’ Parachute Landing Fall to minimize ankle/leg injuries.
    With the modern ‘Ram Air’ canopies, one has much more control. Some of them can go 50mph! Of course, with that kind of speed, being stupid close to the ground can kill you.
    I’ve seen a number of folks do a 50mph ‘face plant’ from starting a “Hook Turn” 20′ too low. Some died…

  29. The College Experience now is a lot of people there who shouldn’t be, partying hard and getting shit degrees while also radicalizing the stupid and ugly.

    Screw most colleges I don’t think they are important except for those things Leon mentioned.

    I was a Biology Ed major and the Ed part was okay but the lab stuff was crucial. To me at least. My Ed classes included things like ordering supplies for a year, planning and executing critical thinking from point A to wherever it might take you.

    My minor was Health Ed and what a flaming pile of moral relativism that was. I lied my way through saying what the dipshits wanted to hear.

    Ironic, no?

  30. FFS

    Conley is a girl’s name?

  31. Pretty sure any skydiving he did would be the kind where basically someone else is in control the entire time. Isn’t that the way they do it?

  32. Hahahah, Hotspur was reading my mind.

  33. Sarah Huckabee is not classically beautiful or super pretty, however, that’s a woman who loves and enjoys her family and her life and it shows. She smiles a lot and that makes her attractive. She’s someone I’d like to be around.

    Plus she loves Trump so we’re simpatico.

    Her Instagram account has lots of pictures of her cute family having a good time, being wholesome and sweet.

  34. I will never deride a Latrina or Dechauncy again.

  35. I was quite happy to deride your mom. She’s not much of a ride to start with.

  36. It took almost two months to figure out this poor girl’s name.

    MJr talks like a kid, so I asked him like 1000 times…

    Conley?

    No, it’s Connnnnly

    Carly?

    No, it’s Connnnly

    Wait, Conley?

    No, it’s Connnnly

    Conry?

    Conley.

    Finally, he told me yeah, it’s Conley.

    I think he was fucking with me. And plus we finally met her mom and asked her. Her name is Tristan, which is how you get a girl named Conley.

  37. Here’s Kamala being a side piece. Man, was she a whore:

  38. Car in,
    Yeah, if you just doing the ‘tourist’ thing to try it out, you do a Tandem. That’s where you and the tandem master/instructor are strapped together under a *Big* canopy with a drogue parachute trailing behind to keep you face to earth, no matter what the ‘passenger’ does.
    You get about a minute of freefall before the instructor deploys the main canopy. Sometimes the instructor lets the passenger pilot the canopy, until you get close to the ground.
    One squirrely weekend here, we had two tandem deaths.
    On one, as they were close to landing, the passenger reached up to lift herself off the crotch straps. She pulled the wrong thing and released the canopy at about 50′ and they dropped to the pavement.
    Thee other was running downwind and crossed a tree line, low. They got caught in the ‘rotor’ of the wind coming over the trees and dropping to the ground. The canopy hit the ground before they did.
    There are millions of uneventful jumps a year, but shit happens on occasion…

  39. I guess Colonial paid the ransom to get their systems back up and running. Because paying the Dane always works so well…

  40. “was”?

  41. https://days.to/until/us-presidential-inauguration

    Only 1358 days to go!

  42. Any word on how much it was?

    And like I said yesterday, these are hard, not impossible, we’ve (my company) un-ransomed people before. It’s entirely possible that the hostage-takers used ransomware with a vulnerability and the rescuers told them to claim they’d paid the ransom so bad guys keep using it.

  43. $5 million in crypto was what I saw in one article.

    And supposedly the decryption tool that the hackers sent was so slow that Colonial just went ahead with installing their backups.

  44. Meanwhile there aren’t any interviews with frantic motorists stuck in gas lines blaming Dementia Joe for their plight as there would be nonstop if this happened under OMB’s watch

  45. What I find interesting is that the messaging turned to “Why are the stupid rubes hording gas?” That pulled attention away from, and diminished the very real truth of the matter.

    People are so easily manipulated.

  46. I learned today that gas prices were going up, because people are traveling now, out of the pandemic.

    Not one mention of Keystone.

  47. Or the cessation of permitting on Fed land.

  48. called a few electricians, to get prices on running higher power to garage for tools. Only one calls back.

    Hmm, who to go with?

  49. Or your mom hoarding premium gasoline

  50. I’ve had shit experience trying to get an electrician to show up for basically anything. I really should go to trade school for it.

  51. Obviously the other guys are so busy they can’t call back

  52. his wife was the secretary, and she was the nicest person I’ve ever spoken to. Including my mom and her sister.

  53. Who the other ho in the montel kamala clip?

  54. 150 republicans threaten to leave the GOP without reform

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9575323/The-150-Republicans-including-four-former-governors-threatened-form-party.html

    Evan McMullin, Tom Ridge, Michael Steele, Scaramucci.

    Hahaha, this list is a joke. buh bye.

  55. After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
    He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
    As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?’
    To which he responded, ‘I found the remote.’

  56. Pendejo, don’t know but that’s kind of the point, Montel shows up with a ho on each arm like a pimp.

  57. won’t be long now!

    https://apnews.com/article/coronavirus-masks-cdc-guidelines-9d10c8b5f80a4ac720fa1df2a4fb93e5

    Would that be crass to send to the HR department?

  58. Holyshitimean.

  59. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/05/millennial-grandparents-unequal-generation/618859/

    The Millennial top 10 percent—who grew up in relatively wealthy families and went to selective colleges—are doing just fine. But poorer Millennials—particularly those without a college degree—remain far, far behind. The St. Louis Fed researchers found that the typical Millennial without a college degree has nearly 20 percent less wealth than would be expected.

    The skew becomes even larger when comparing white Millennials with Black Millennials: This is a generation committed to racial equality, but not one manifesting it. Younger white families are roughly as wealthy now as young white families were a few decades ago. But Black Millennials are poorer, on average, their collective net worths trailing by half. Student-loan debt is a central reason: Black college attendees are more likely to take out loans than white attendees. They end up borrowing more money. And many struggle to pay it back, even with the earnings premium that comes with a college diploma.

    In terms of homeownership, the same dynamics apply: Millennials lucky enough to have their Boomer parents’ help to go to college and scrape together a down payment have benefited from the dramatic run-up in housing prices. Millennials without that help, in many cases, remain shut out, pushing down the generation’s overall rate of homeownership.

  60. I had a couple apply to rent one of our houses yesterday. She has a credit balance of $235,150. He has a balance of $237,300.

    So between the two of them they have close to half a million in debt, the vast majority of which will be student loans.

    Fucking insanity. They will be paying that off for their entire lifetimes.

  61. It is insane. And it leaves a lot of millennials angry. Remember, they were 18 sitting in their dining room, often with mom and dad telling them to sign the paperwork, that the debt wouldn’t matter because it was worth it to get that degree. They saw the local businesses close, the blue-collar jobs taken by illegals or full of classmates who are too drug-addicted to do anything else, and were told to move to some distant city in order to find their career.

    Our whole lives we were told by people we trusted, parents, teachers, the larger culture, to do certain things if we wanted to be successful. And it was all wrong. Or worse, a lie.

  62. Hannah has no debt going into med school. But she will be acquiring debt there.

  63. I literally couldn’t get out of bed in the morning if I was faced with that.

  64. I love that you can get a loan for any amount as long as you pretend its for college.

    That’s a great idea for 18-22 year olds.

  65. My sister had over 100k in debt, I believe, because she spent seven years in college. She changed her major from voice to linguistics and basically started over from scratch, then spent a year in Europe.

    My dad is rightwing like me, and he still enabled that bullshit. When she got stuck in Turkey on vacation and her boyfriend ditched her, mom bailed her out by sending money.

    Jokes on them. Neither my sister nor I have kids and likely never will.

  66. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I should be debt-free by this time next year.

  67. Well, So far Hannah knows that the debt monster is something she’ll have to address. That’s why she went to Wayne State on an academic scholarship instead of Michigan State. She was always super worried about debt, but now she REALLY wants to be a doctor. So focused.

    I think it’s one of the better investments. It’s not as if she’s getting a PHD in dance theory.

  68. Funny thread. Last line is the best.

    “Screaming has now ensued. I am in hell.”

  69. I lucked out with the path I chose with an ROTC scholarship and a state med school. The loans I did take were a pain in the ass to pay off because they were due in a low paying part of my career (residency). When I had a real job with decent money I had other obligations like mortgage, car loan and a wife (now ex) who wasn’t afraid to spend the money I earned. Losing half my net worth for a divorce was painful but, in the end, worth it.

  70. The girl is Montel’s daughter from his first marriage. This video surfaced when she was running for President, but was disappeared for Fall 2020.

  71. Contemporaneous media accounts from the Willie Brown years, named Kamala as a “Known” escort. Scrubbed.

  72. I’m sitting on a rock outcropping, feeling sunshine on my skin, watching a caterpillar crawl around, listening to the birds. I feel like I’m winning at life right now.

  73. Wait a minute, that woman (?) in Alex’s link put diesel in her tank because they were out of regular. FFS, everyone is going insane and they’re dumb.

  74. Hotspur, are they young Doctors?

  75. I hope so.

  76. Or young loyers.

  77. When the taxman comes to the door, Lord the house looks like a rummage sale, yeah.

  78. https://nypost.com/2021/05/12/2-year-old-boy-shoots-parents-in-maine-home/

    Proving that kids are better on crew served weapons

  79. I’m sitting on a rock outcropping, feeling sunshine on my skin, watching a caterpillar crawl around, listening to the birds. I feel like I’m winning at life right now.
    ————–
    Awesome.

    If you listen to the wind I’m positive you’ll hear…’don’t listen to Car in’s music. It’s shouty garbage…’

  80. I don’t feel like I burned any fat at all.

  81. Try watching it a few more times.

  82. Pretty sure Sobek prefers MY music to your stuff.

  83. go faster, IYKWIMAITYD

  84. yeah, many around here have different taste in music

  85. not awesome, like me

  86. My music is so appropriate for the times. Like today – when Biden ordered us to wear a mask until we got vaccinated – this song popped into my head:

  87. Natural immunity doesn’t line the pockets of donors, so we re-defined immunity.

  88. Science is dead.

  89. It’s really crazy that Tom Morello and Adam jones were good friends in high school.

  90. First I must say book learning is great, I have a ton of it however how many times do you remember where you or one of your coworker/class mates came up with an easier way to do “it”?
    People are ingenious when getting out of work. Just learning the tips from someone who has done it for a while is as good as book or video learning IMHO.

    It took me a while to figure ouit debt was slavery, I am selling however many dollors/hr/yr of my future life for this car/motorcycle/thing/frivolity

    commodities rise with inflation, invest in commodities. If you are Pepe buy calves, if tou are Jay buy pork bellies and briskets, or a bigger freezer and half on one of
    Pepes cows. Physically buying something that you know is good Alex wants to work in steel buy metals etc. Wood is probably in a bubble but it is not my thing. Someone needs to get
    Xbad to give us a course on how to trade the CBOE or CFTC r whatever. I am sure he could give a masters class on it

  91. I can only see half of a line of text in the ncomment box. My cut and paste did not work too well

  92. That DeBlasio vaccine/hamburger video is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen a politician do. That is insane.

    Again, why this push?

  93. ————–
    Awesome.
    If you listen to the wind I’m positive you’ll hear…’don’t listen to Car in’s music. It’s shouty garbage…’

    ———

    *snicker*

    *looks around nervously for Carin*

  94. Of course right now, taking on debt also factors in a bet that (a) you will still have a job to pay it OR (b) everything will fall apart so hard debts will, for all practical intents and purposes, become uncollectable and thus effectively cease to exist.

    And (b) is becoming an increasingly significant possibility.

  95. Favorite quote today, “Someone tell the Biden people that the ransomware people used the wrong pronouns, then they’d go after ’em.”

    Also liked

    “I see that everybody is comparing Joe Biden to Jimmy Carter,” Trump noted. “It would seem to me that is very unfair to Jimmy Carter. Jimmy mishandled crisis after crisis, but Biden has CREATED crisis after crisis.”

    but not really.

  96. I almost put diesel in my car one time by mistake. It was a good thing the nozzle didn’t fit, made me stop before I damaged anything.

  97. I missed some drama at work because I was required to self-quarantine for a week after my trip. At first, I resented it and the continuing pressure to get vaccinated. Today, I am thankful. One co-worker tested positive, and another is so wound up about it, I’m hoping someone gave her a Valium or a Xanax.

  98. Cheerfully stolen:
    Hunter Biden goes to a bar for a beer, not realizing that it’s a gay bar. After a few minutes, a guy swishes up to him and says “Hey, buddy… you want a blowjob?” Hunter punches him in the face and throws him out in the street.
    The bartender asks “Wow… what did that guy say to you?!”
    Hunter replies “I dunno… somethin’ about a job.”

  99. I just gotta say, this push to get 12 -20 year olds to get the “VAX” bothers the shit outta me.

    If you’re 12 -20 with no co-morbidities, you should get the virus, have zero symptoms, and be immune.

    They have no fookin’ idea what these *vaccines* long term effects are, as far as birth defects, fertility, cancers, etc…

    That, combined with the push to get the folks that have already had the ‘Rona vaccinated, raises the hair on the back of my neck.

    There’s something going on over here.
    What it is ain’t exactly clear.
    There’s a man with a gun over there (it’s me).
    Tellin’ me I’ve got to beware…

  100. Lots of anecdata about fucked up cycles after the “vaccines”. Just one more data point in the “oligarchs are trying to reduce the human population” basket right next to all the pro-gay and tranny bullshit.

    The Devil hates Man, and his servants — believing his seductive lies that they will rule over an emptier Earth — do his bidding.

    Be of good cheer, though, I have it on good authority that the (Bill) Gates of Hell shall not prevail.

  101. I dig Car In’s music, but I can’t stand Rage. The lyric “f*** you I won’t do what you tell me!” screamed over and over like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum seems very much to me like … well, like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum.

    I also like MJ’s music, if it was MJ who posted a list of shoegazers a while back. You ever listen to Catherine Wheel? Their first two albums are perfect. The third album, Happy Days, leaves the shoegaze roots behind, but it’s so incredibly good that I can’t be mad at them.

    But today I was listening to Wide Open Space and Stripper Vicar by Mansun, and a collection of string quartets by Beethoven.

  102. Listen to the reverbed out harmonica on this track. Absolutely mind-blowing.

  103. If you prefer your virtuosic harmonica combined with contemporary Argentine concert works, then I present Oblivion by Astor Piazzolla. I’m not kidding; you should check this out:

  104. One more for the harmonica. Extremely talented playing, so very different from the other two:

  105. I’m actually not a huge fan of Piazolla. Part of it is because his tangos are hit or miss with regards to being danceable, IMHO. He focused a lot on making them into “respectable” music.

    Still love Gotan Project.

  106. Interesting that you say that, Alex. Classical symphony forms that are technically dance forms, but everyone knew that you weren’t expected to actually dance to them. The composer just used the form so the audience would have a frame of reference. No one listened to an Allemande by Bach and thought you were supposed to dance to it. I don’t know Piazzolla’s body of work, but it sounds like he’s doing with Tango what Mozart was doing with Minuet and Trio.

  107. Tango is so cool to watch.

    Caribbean Blue by Enya is a Waltz, but she didn’t write it for people to dance to. The Blue Danube Waltz was written for people to listen to, not to dance to. Lizst’s Mazurkas, Chopin’s Polonnaises. All the same idea.

    Rock and roll was developed for dance halls, but modern rock is about something else entirely. It’s for listening, not dancing, and the music only uses the form as a frame of reference so the audience understands what’s happening.

  108. That said, you and I have different priorities. If you want Tango music to dance to, then sure, it makes no sense to listen to a guy who isn’t writing Tango music for dancers.

  109. Y’all need to Mariachi/Polka.

  110. Polka:

  111. Delaying everything remains possible.


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