1. Great memes, Jay!

  2. The how to piss off a mom meme is like any day of the week around here. Our TP holders are built into the wall so jamming a roll on end is harder than just leaving the empty one on and either raiding the tissues or leaving the next roll on the counter.

  3. Thunderbundt

  4. Paula made breakfast burritos for dinner last night and the house still smells like bacon. Not complaining.

  5. workie workie

  6. mmmm bacon

  7. wakey wakey

  8. How do you say fuck off in German?

  9. I know how to say “go fuck your mother” but I have to look up the spelling

  10. Verpiss dich

    some translator.

  11. “dich” is the informal (in the sense that you and the target are well acquainted) “you”.

    “Verpissen Sie” would be “fuck you (who are a stranger to me)”
    “Verpissen sie” would be “fuck them” or “fuck her”.

    German has more words than we do for “fuck” though. “Bumsen” is closer to the sexy version of “fuck” (as in “I’d like to be at home fucking my wife”), iirc, at least in Hochdeutsch. Some dialects have “Ficken” which is an almost 1-1 to all English applications, but that just sounds like you don’t know how to say “fuck”.

  12. I can’t think of a good grammatical equivalent to “fuck off” though, which is basically a vulgar and aggressive “go away”.

  13. OMG so fuck off

  14. No, I’m still having my morning coffee and I ain’t doin’ fuckall until I’m finished.

  15. Hey EM J, how’s the new gig? Have you slanted any data today?

  16. Coffee still sipping here too

  17. great, now leon is correcting us in German, too.

  18. Hey EM J, how’s the new gig? Have you slanted any data today?
    Nope. But the day is young.

    I did toss out the applications that had a whiff of SJW in them for an open position. So that was a win.

    Interesting jerb though. We collect about 3000 sources of data so we basically know everything about everyone. The data is used in an interesting way that I’ve never really considered. I always think it’s evil or something but in this case it’s to determine if you are who you say you are online, mostly. So for example, when you sign into your mobile bank account or order a prescription.

    Member a million years ago when you’d get a call if you used a credit card when traveling? Hi Mr Pupster, are you really in Tijuana because your card is being used at a gentlemen’s club?

    Same idea but it happens instantly and you never know. You get the call or stoppage if your identity can’t be confirmed with a certain level of confidence.

  19. great, now leon is correcting us in German, too.


  20. The “FUCK YOU” from his friend is the best part.

  21. Pretty cool but they’re listening to a remake of Dirty Diana which is not very cool.

  22. I didn’t know what song that was, because I’m straight.

  23. Honestly, I’d just give up at that point. Jenga level Cosmic Grandmaster.

  24. Your search history says otherwise. We have you as ‘Queen’ in our database.

  25. so the girls that were concerned about their phone in the “accident” in DC were charged with murder.

    Who else thinks they walk away from this. Probably after more violence.

  26. so the girls that were concerned about their phone in the “accident” in DC were charged with murder

  27. Nah, they’ll go to prison. The last thing the DC politicos need is any scandal which upsets the statehood narrative. Statehood is only a possibility now because the city is shifting from poor and black to upper-middle-class and white, with a lot of young professionals flocking in every year for jobs in politics, the bureaucracy, think tanks, and consulting firms. Congress likes that because it means lots of nice new restaurants to eat at and young midwestern trim to chase. If DC is seen as descending into a violent hellhole, then they risk white flight out to Maryland and NoVA.

  28. I’m even more dad than I realized. There goes my day.

    Oh, but you guys should have heard how hard my daughter was laughing last night. We were playing catch with her stuffed panda and I started head butting it too her. She could barely breathe, she thought it was so funny.

  29. DC has always been a violent hellhole. Statehood is a possibility now, not because of demographics, but because of will to power.

  30. That’s a shame. 13 and 15…they’ll get some reduced sentence and have 4 or 5 babies by their mid 20s.

    I don’t know what this says about me but I don’t care about crime in bad neighborhoods. They want less police, which is another way to say they want more crime. Fine. It’ll take time but businesses will just stop servicing them. Again, fine.

  31. MJ, is that a Deadmaus avatar?

  32. they want the policing us wyppl get, with none of the responsibility. So we jsut have to live with the crime.

    Still fine?

  33. Since I live away from it, this won’t affect me. Not in the city. But this will definitely affect their community. Like you say, won’t get my business any more, up to and including concerts, ball games, etc, anything downtown, cuz Thunderdome now.

  34. That’s what defund the police means to me.

    Soon this will move to suburbs.

  35. Cool, a Fr. Erik meme. One of these days, I’ll make it to Utah, meet him, and attend a Mass. He posts his homilies on Podbean.

  36. they want the policing us wyppl get, with none of the responsibility. So we jsut have to live with the crime.
    Still fine?
    Yeah, because eventually those places will either get walled off or cleaned up.

    I only have one first hand example but in Chicago the shitty cultures were all moved to one section of the city and basically everyone said, fine. Have at it. Kill yourselves. The rest of the city is actually quite nice and safe.

    Lots of murder but no one even cares anymore.

  37. I don’t get why they would deserve statehood at all.

    Just give the land back to VA and MD.

  38. So, Escape from NY/LA scenario. Sad, but that’s pretty much what we have now.

    Wonder what downtown Minneapolis will look like in a few weeks.

  39. Isn’t there a constitutional issue about DC not being a state?

  40. That’s a shame. 13 and 15…they’ll get some reduced sentence and have 4 or 5 babies by their mid 20s.

    Then they each have just one to go.

  41. Well, David Burge got rid of his precious Orange Man Bad. That and a good portion of his twitter followers.

  42. MJ, is that a Deadmaus avatar?

    Don’t encourage him.

  43. Yeah, he’s still a douche, but the rant isn’t wrong. I saw something similar beginning in Columbus, with expensive apartments and condos springing up all around downtown. I figure that in ten years it will be another Austin, and in twenty it will be another Portland.

    He doesn’t seem to understand that this is how you get Trump.

  44. Downtown Des Moines is the same. Urban revitalization, i think.

  45. Ames is different. They just tear down houses and put up big apartment buildings, to house students.

  46. Meanwhile they tore down dorms, and put up a few new ones. Your education dollars at work.

  47. Re: Colex Austin poat.

    True story. My younger daughter lives in Austin. For a while she lived with two other chicks* in a 800 sf shack about a mile south of downtown. It was 2bed 1 bath with a living room you could walk across in 2 big steps and a kitchen that was even smaller than that. It did sit on a big lot though….maybe a half acre. She and the two other chicks* split the $2400 rent between them. So $800 a month to live in a fucking shack. I looked on Zillow and it was valued at $1.8 mil. And yep, there were yuppie on steroids condos going up on every vacant lot within a mile. Also, she couldn’t walk her dog in the nearest park as it was a homeless encampment. I’m ready for her to grow up and be comfortable somewhere other than a shithole.

  48. Fuck David Burge.

    You shit in my back yard, you aren’t welcome anymore.

  49. I’m in the fuck Burge camp.


    Soon? I thought that they were already using them.

  51. Student housing in Ann Arbor was like that.

    We had a 3-bedroom, 1-bath rental house with an apartment over us. Rent was $975/month. In 1997.

  52. Algorithms do the searching for candidates in a lot of places, but not the hiring.

    Firing by algorithm (GD called it “auto-RIF”) is becoming really common, though, to mitigate wrongful termination lawsuits. If you’re a manager, though, it’s often easy to trigger the inputs and passive-aggressively cut folks you want gone.

  53. I remember when $300 a person was expensive for off campus. now it’s $500-$700

  54. My rent on the 3rd floor of a triple decker was $650 divided by 3, then 2 then 3 again before I bought a house with a mortgage payment of about $1000/month and had 2 roommates paying 2/3 of it. That was 1987-97. I’m sure rent has gone up considerably

  55. The part of me that was one class away from a CS major and Philosophy minor is completely apoplectic about surrendering control over human fate to computers. Now paging Jehanne Butler on the blue courtesy phone, your Jihad is calling.

  56. never give control to a computer

  57. I went broke on $1000 a month rent when I should have been in $600-700. Which honestly would have only bought me a couple more years, probably. But I can’t find anything less (formally) that isn’t a shithole in da hood. Rent and real estate have gone bonkers, even here.

    My best plan is to get a better paying job, but at 50 with my issues I’m not optimistic on my chances.

  58. can’t find a roomate?

  59. We chase after a lot of multi-family residential, Charlotte is growing so fast the housing can’t keep up. New builds have a lot of amenities; bars, game rooms, workout rooms, saunas, coffee bars, pools, hot tubs, lots of common area lounges. I’m sure the rent reflects these adds but nobody is building basic apartments these days.

  60. Trying to get a roommate was a 2020 task. Then COVID craziness decided to frak everything up the ass. Plus the local roommate ads are…well let’s just say my average response to the ads I see is “oh fuck that noise”.

    Once I get the vehicle issue closed on (haven’t heard back yet) housing is my next focus. A roommate who is at least no more crazy than I and reasonably compatible otherwise would be best case scenario I would think.

  61. Young workers are increasingly transient, and as marriage rates decline they look for amenities because they aren’t buying homes and settling down where they can slowly add those things.

  62. Nobody builds “starter homes”, either. Everybody chases the high-end money and leaves the low-end on the table. Which makes it harder for the low-end to get on the ladder to get to high-end…

    I swear, nobody thinks this shit out anymore.

  63. My understanding is that building starter homes is a losing proposition. Land is too expensive in most areas close to where jobs are located, and there are too many regulations. Plus, with the economy of the past twenty years, the pressure is towards greater amounts of debt. Why buy a 2 bed, 1 bath for $150k at 23 when you can buy a $450k McMansion at 2% interest when you’re 28?

  64. Whether they know it or not, cities are introducing price ceilings for certain types of housing which actually creates a dual market. You get low and high end housing but nothing in the middle.

  65. They know it. Affordable single family housing isn’t desirable. Higher end housing increases the property tax take, while “luxury” apartments cater to the young urban professional class who have disposable income and want a culture with lots of nightlife and amenities.

  66. The affordable housing in Ann Arbor is eight miles east in Ypsilanti.

  67. I wonder who is running Biden’s administration. Don’t say Obama, he’s too stupid and too lazy. I kind of think Rice/Jarrett. And I kind of wonder about Chicago machine leftovers. Don’t know but I think we can all agree it’s not Biden.

    Jill appears to have her hands full keeping Joe locked down and prepped for the short stints in front of cameras. She’s doing a shit job. But she was a shit mother, mistress and I’ll bet “dr.” hahahahahahaha

  68. Hooooooooly fuck.

    CBD should NOT have posted that.

  69. Remember when Carin would post Obama’s schedule and it’s was pathetically thin. Obama would start late and his schedule was full of golf and meet and greets. Biden’s is about a third of Obama’s schedule. Sheeeeesh.

    Trump worked his ass off.

  70. Dr. Jill willingly hitched her wagon to a shit show. Fuck her and feed her fish heads.

  71. No one person is running the admin. There’s probably two, or even three, factions who are all scrambling for power.

  72. But no mean tweets.

    Seriously, fuck half the country. They just want to be safe, not think, not have to worry about anything, and watch tv.

    They suck.

  73. I’ve looked at Biden’s daily schedule – they post it sorta. It is mostly filled with things revolving around the administration (like, what time the press is allowed in the WH) and not really about what he is doing.

  74. I used to think Kamala had a faction but I’m not sure she does.

    She seems…not so bright.

  75. She’s a placeholder/puppet. 0bama with even less charisma and appeal.

  76. Kumslut is the bastard love-child of Hillary and Obama. Her faction is whomever wants to ride her into positions of influence. The main problem is that no one likes her. No one. And everyone knows it. If it’s Harris v Trump in 2024, it will be ugly for the Dems.

  77. They all are. The real deciders don’t make the news.

  78. No one likes Biden either.

    Obama hated him, which always makes me chuckle.

  79. There also appears to be forces working against Cuomo.

    Weird that Harris had Clinton on a panel about empowering women. *snicker*

    Hillary tweets every now and then but has been rather quiet.

    Biden will not last long. Is Harris part of the Clinton Cabal?

    She (Harris) is also too stupid to run things. When asked any question about policy she laughs innapropriately. It’s weird.

    Lefties are garbage and I don’t understand them other than they want money and power.

  80. Ha! High fives you all.

  81. Day four of waiting for my tractor.

    the struggle is real.

    They said it would be a few weeks. They need to get the back hoe before they can deliver it.

  82. I mean, I don’t even have my overalls yet, so I need to get my house in order.

  83. Anyone watched the head of the CDC “go off script” then continue to read the teleprompter while having a crying fit?

    We should really retire her and put a strong, brave woman like Rachel Levine in charge over there.

  84. 10:00 AM
    Pool Call Time

    In-Town Pool Call Time
    The White House
    In-Town Pool

    10:15 AM
    Official Schedule

    The President and The Vice President receive the President’s Daily Brief
    Oval Office
    Closed Press

    12:30 PM
    Press Briefing

    Press Briefing by Press Secretary Jen Psaki
    James S. Brady Press Briefing Room

    2:00 PM
    Official Schedule

    The President signs the PPP Extension Act of 2021 into law; The Vice President and the Administrator of the Small Business Administration also attend

    That’s it for today folks.

  85. local host, now on Blaze, has written a book straight to paperback, about Fauci and all his lies, documented with footnotes and research. I’ve listened a lot to these things, and he has it all together.

    Faucian Bargain: The Most Powerful and Dangerous Bureaucrat in American History

    Look on amazon, only place he could get it done so quickly. I ordered one.

  86. Leon, I saw snippets of it and as a woman I’m embarrassed this female jackass is in charge of anything.

    FFS, stop making policy on emotion, dumbass.

  87. Carin, that “scheduled “is ridiculous. I get more done before my morning coffee.

  88. I get more done when I take my morning shit.

  89. He receives TWO briefings today, folks. TWO. I mean, that’s a lot of information for him to take in.

  90. no appearances, no questions.

    But, no tweets. And he’s nice.

    So we have that going for us.

  91. And with better results.

  92. That’s code for, “changing the President’s briefs.”

  93. Helen’s Page

    Mrs Instapundit launches a site for conservatives to sell shit, and introduce ideas for each other. Looks interesting! (link to PJ Media, from AOS sidebar)


  95. I think for the majority of conservatives the term “QAnon” generated a WTF response. For some reason the leftists and their media allies assign more meaning to it than the average Trump supporter. Maybe because it is the equivalent of calling all Biden voters socialist BLM/Antifa rioters. It’s easy, fits the narrative and allows a blanket indictment of the other side.

  96. CBD’s Morning Rant ain’t too far off base

  97. What is CBD?

  98. Cannabidiol.

  99. AOS name for Charlie Brown’s Dildo, right?

  100. Charlie Brown’s Dildo @ AoS

  101. I’m going to need a link. is it in comments?

  102. Oh, I get it. the morning rant thing. I don’t follow ace close enough to get all your fancy names etc.

  103. If you’d just said morning rant I may have figured it out. I just kept focusing on CBD and never realized that was the name of who wrote those.

  104. Seriously, fuck half the country. They just want to be safe, not think, not have to worry about anything, and watch tv.

    You are describing life before the government was so large, so domestically powerful, so involved in our daily lives, and so invested in turning us against each other and fucking us over. It wasn’t so bad.

    The reason we are in this condition of stress right now is because the left seem to be the only ones who can still live that way. Because they don’t oppose the growth of government into this intrusive behemoth, they actually support it, and therefore as allies of it they are mostly let alone and can live in more peace than we do, who are beset.

  105. This will be a blank rectangle in < 24 hours.

  106. When surveyed 25% of conservative recognized Qanon while 75% of democrats did.

    It’s a manufactured thing for them to feel superior, ironically.

  107. Mrs. Pupster gets a spa day.

  108. Carin’s getting her back hoe. I’m getting my hoe back.

    Your mom’s coming over.

  109. I can just see you eating a sandwich, coming up with that, and thinking you’re damn clever.

  110. says you with your plate of fish sticks and ketchup

  111. It’s not Friday, though.

  112. *lights my 4th lent candle before Easter eve

  113. Mrs. Pupster is High Maintenance. My dog takes a shower with me once a month, whether she needs it or not, and fuckin hates it.

  114. Ketchup?

    My dear man. Tartar always and forever.

  115. heh, time for Elliot to experience soap and water soon. Grandma is coming to visit, he’s gotta get fresh.

  116. Leon, that is an incredible video.

    Those with common sense knew this just not the specifics.

    Isolate the sick. Wash your hands.

    And the term “asymptomatic” makes it sound like something is imminent instead of what’s it’s supposed to mean, healthy.

    Great link.

  117. I liked that dog grooming video and so did 79,000 other people. He was a good puppy.

  118. Yea, it was a good video.

    I should schedule a grooming for my two monsters.

  119. Follow the money on the “vaccination passport” bullshit. Lots of tech companies and others stand to make a LOT of money if implemented.

    Always, always, follow the money.

  120. I have never eaten tartar sauce. Too gay.

  121. I can just see you eating a sandwich, coming up with that, and thinking you’re damn clever.

    *chomp chomp*

  122. Tartar sauce is tits.

    Try it on fries. You’ll never go back to catsup.

  123. tartar sauce and fish, yum. Ketchup has it’s place, but it’s not on fish.

  124. I make an excellent tartar sauce (SYWM).

  125. If you use mayonnaise you can be in the club. If you use Miracle Whip, you’re a whore and you should be burned in hell.

  126. starbase Texas has a nice ring to it.

  127. Here’s the thing about that post: I don’t disagree with a word of it. It’s sound tactics for asymmetrical warfare in the formerly United States.

    The problem is, now AoSHQ can be painted as coordinating terrorist activity without achieving a goddamn thing. By simply discussing it in the open.

    Just like the good folks who went to that 1/6 clusterfuck are now “insurrectionists” regardless of whether they were anywhere near that cosplay instigation at the Capitol, and are now being swept up for having achieved nothing of use.

    I’m not sure whether this is strategic incompetence or just working for the other side.

  128. I don’t put ketchup on anything. Vinegar is enough for fries/fish.

  129. Vinegar is what the limeys use, and we all know what cunts they are.

  130. Honestly I don’t have much use for vinegar at all. Except one time I had to deal with a gnat infestation. Worked great for that.

  131. um, vinegar is in ketchup. also some tartar sauce

  132. Fuck. Got turned down for financing of less than $2k because of the still being paid student loan that would have been paid off by now if I hadn’t had to adjust payment schedule four years ago when I was in survival mode.

    I need a cosigner for a fucking $2000 loan.

    Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Oscar.

  133. um, vinegar is in ketchup. also some tartar sauce

    And weird, plasticized tomato puree. I realized the vinegar flavor was all I really wanted out of ketchup and dropped the rest.

  134. you need better tomato paste, like Full Red. We use it at the pizza place.

  135. you are very europeon, with your malt on chips.

  136. HotBride call fries chips, and chips crisps.

  137. You might ought to teach her some Merican.

  138. yooboob videos of Zhou Bi Den will no longer have a visible “dislike” count to fight “targeted dislike campaigns”.

  139. Sorry to hear it, Tim. Do you have anyone?

  140. I could ask my brothers, only thing I can think of.

    For a loan less than $2000. Because I have just north of $7000 left owed that should have been gone already except…aaarrrggghhh. I’m tired of having the same kick in the nuts applied against me again and again.

    Fucking humiliating, frustrating, and infuriating.

  141. CoW gave up meat for Lent. Not just Friday’s. He’s sick of beans and fish. He told Dan that he’s eating bacon for breakfast, steak for lunch, and steak for dinner. Bro T I hope you get your co-sign.

  142. Your mom was gonna give up meat for Lent.

  143. CoW got his second jab on Sunday. He had the Rona in November with the rest of the ONT team. He said he was more sick after the 2nd jab, than the Rona. He’s 24.

  144. 🐻❤️HS

  145. I did not buy a goat with my gubmint check, but I might resemble a walrus. Thanks for noticing.

  146. The CDC says you can get Covid even if you have had it” so “you should get the vaccine even if you had Covid

    And you can get covid after getting the vaccine so why mainline experimental goo at all if you can keep getting it either way?

  147. I think maybe I just invented a new word – journaljizm.

  148. I did not buy a goat with my gubmint check, but I might resemble a walrus. Thanks for noticing.

    Mustache getting a bit bristly?

  149. My daughter’s school is on spring break. I asked her on Sunday if she was going to spend any of it with her mother and she avoided all eye contact. Brat.

    I need to find a nice piece of property out in Bumfuckville and raise chickens.

  150. Alex, nah, mustache is as soft as ever.

  151. OK, probably also because of some collection items I have that I’m paying on. Those add up currently to just over $2600. Not huge, but certainly not helping, either.

    I’ll see if I can get a brother to cosign. Life sucks like this sometimes, I guess.

  152. Regular has had both jabs. Wife as well. Daughter gets first jab, tests positive 3 days later. He and his wife have to be tested, now. Makes no sense.

  153. coo coo cachew

  154. If SARS-2 follows the same trajectory as SARS-1 did in the early 2000’s, it is already on the wane, and should disappear from the stage in another few months all on its own.

    Of course, the mask Karens will attribute it to all of the isolation/masks/vaccine and not, yannow, “natural progression of all communicable diseases known to man throughout history”.

  155. Non-falsifiable hypotheses are the best kind of Sciencetm.

  156. I like how big tech decided what to believe based on…feelings.

    I also liked how they decided to be the arbiter of truth and also decided they’re still not a publisher.

    It’s all so fake. But at least people can find and fuck their HS crush now. Long live FB!

  157. I never had any crushes in HS. I spent most of the time with your mom.

  158. I had some, but they’re all old and married now.

    Or lesbians.

  159. TiFW, trying to explain SARS to young people and the Zelenko and they are all 😳.

  160. My MS BF, was my HS BF, was my college BF. He was a cheater in MS, a cheater in HS, and a cheater in college. FF we become friends on FB. His wife makes him delete his account. I can only believe he continued to be a cheater. His brother told me that his wife didn’t like our history and didn’t want him talking to me. Big bro told me other things. I respect her position. When we TASers get together, I don’t talk to him on the group calls/texts.


    Gaetz leaving Congress?

    Axios is the source. Yeah right, more like wishcasting.

  162. I can see him running against RINO RUBIO.

  163. Cuomo denies this, and if you don’t accept his word for it, he will grab you by the tits and try to force a sausage into your mouth.


  164. We were in MPLS in Oct 2019. Before George Floyd. Y’all don’t even want to know how scary it was. Way scarier than May 2018. Metro cops were on our trolley from airport metro all the way to Target Field.

  165. Major Biden has done more for this country than any other member of the Biden family.

  166. Mall of America was beyond cray. The little kid tossed over the 4th story wasn’t the first or the last. MOA has a political interest in not responding to attacks.

  167. Dan forgot to wear a ballcap today. CoWs were intimidated because of his height. Yet, I’m considered short “For Reasons”. Reason is because Dan is tall; Connie short

  168. CoW has a feral dog. Dog isn’t acceptable by any groups. Dan won’t accept this dog as a dog setting bae. No crate.

  169. OOPs. Dog sitting

  170. I should schedule a grooming for my two monsters.

  171. Matt Gaetz sex trafficking? The NY Times is incorrigible

  172. I can believe he’s getting blackmailed. But his dad with a wire, $25 million? WTF?

  173. I was driving all day and apparently missed something. What did CBD post that he oughtn’t have?

  174. Never mind all caught up in here.

  175. I dare say, Montana is much prettier than whatever hellhole you’re living in.

  176. She seems nice, Leon….

  177. Delightful experiences refresh people.

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