A little help for the single Hostage ladies (wink wink) wait…are there any? Never you mind…watch the video

You take heed of this tips, and you’re sure to get a stud like this….

This is dedicated to all the lettuce out there….

275 Comments

  1. Excellent video Peej, today’s young women could really use that instruction.

    I like my cake to not smell like fish with me applying the icing

  2. Although I might have a big ol’ serving of fried clam cake with tartar sauce as the icing

  3. I actually tried to like this. I agree with everything in that video. Except for the food pyramid.

    When I think of the total uglies involved in protesting, I’m going to think of this video.

    Their cake is rotting and the icing is too thick and it’s just for attention and not to flatter. (Think blue hair, piercings, ironic glasses and fat, fat face).

  4. Eh, for the times it was a pretty good meal on that tray. Compare that to the crap kids eat today and it’s practically gourmet.

  5. Their cake is rotting and the icing is too thick and it’s just for attention and not to flatter. (Think blue hair, piercings, ironic glasses and fat, fat face).

    Best comment ever

  6. *wonders why Mare never Likes posts*

  7. Also, Jimbro, I think in the 40’s people weren’t snackers either. That makes a huge difference. They could get away with eating more “starchy vegetables” and “sweets.”

  8. More active, less snacking, more real food, closer to God and Country …

    Damn, where’s my time machine?

  9. I read an article somewhere recently that wondered why Kyle’s attackers weren’t facing charges. I know it’s self explanatory but it does make you wonder

  10. Htf does PJM find all this stuff? First video, okay, kind of cute. 30 seconds into the second video, and I want to stand my eyes out with a spoon.
    PJM, have you ever considered applying for a career in enhanced interrogation? I think you could be a rockstar if you got into that field. The sky is the limit.
    And if you started bathing daily and getting beauty sleep, well… The possibilities would be endless…
    Then again, Mare doesn’t know what she is talking about.

  11. Stand=stab.

    Although, stand could get the point across.

    Stupid autocollect

  12. wakey wakey

  13. worky worky

    We’re going to Rhode Island to work today. Seafood for lunch. Booyah.

  14. More active, less snacking, more real food, closer to God and Country …

    No hybrid dwarf wheat produced by gamma rays yet, either.

  15. Is there anything better than being informed that you haven’t done enough for the current project, and must spend extra time to get everything done, then walking in to see people telling you about the day off they will be taking, and the nice 4 day weekend they get?

    Here, rip off this fingernail instead, please.

  16. Is that the one they just celebrated you finishing, Jay?

    Impeccable timing.

  17. 4-day weekends have to be EARNED, Jay. Maybe if you worked harder you would get one, too.

    *flounces off*

  18. Nope, this is the one we were working on BEFORE the event.

  19. If it’s the 40s, then many of those young ladies likely went through hard times and we’re somewhat underfed.

    Also, clothing makes a huge difference. the average woman may not have been much thinner, but she appeared thinner because of how she dressed.

  20. * locks coffee room door *

    Coffee is for closers.

  21. heh, scott,

    Here, have a steak knife!

  22. You probably won’t be surprised that most of the residents who pass through my office have never heard the phrase “Coffee is for closers”. I’ve probably shown that clip on YouTube to kids in their 20’s a dozen times in the last 5 years. Most of them love it and work it into conversation later on with me.

  23. One of Alec Baldwin’s best. Even better than Jack Ryan on Hunt for Red October.

  24. Dropping off or picking up in Newport Scott?

    I mean, the job. I know you plan to pick up clams

  25. pick up clams? quit talking about laura that way

  26. Pretty sure Lauraw’s all in for the clam too

  27. HR reminded me that I have ~60 hours of comp time that doesn’t get sold back when I leave. Unfortunately my boss wants me to finish this stupid simulation before I leave, which will probably require me to work into the weekend.

    The best part is that I can’t log in remotely to work this morning. They were supposed to send someone to restart my office computer a half hour ago, but no luck yet.

  28. Swine.

    Picking up. We’re on the road now.

  29. Clamhunters: Rhode Island

  30. Traveling the northeast, grabbing boxes and eating clams.

  31. Grab ’em by the clam.

  32. PJM, have you ever considered applying for a career in enhanced interrogation? I think you could be a rockstar if you got into that field. The sky is the limit.

    God I love it when you people talk dirty to me

  33. Scratch Australia off your list of “places worth sparing in the Year of Vengeance”.

    https://nypost.com/2020/09/02/pregnant-mom-arrested-for-facebook-post-planning-lockdown-protest/

  34. wondered why Kyle’s attackers weren’t facing charges.

    2/3s of them got ded.

  35. There’s the guy missing his biceps and another guy who kicked him in the head too

  36. No hybrid dwarf wheat produced by gamma rays yet, either.

    One of the reasons beasn ❤ leon.

  37. aaaaaaaaaaaand Merv just told me the globe in my kitchen ceiling fan is now broken from construction guys
    but good news!!!
    I hid my laundry detergent!!!
    I wish I’d remembered to hide the air conditioning remote again.
    This is now urban warfare

  38. Swine.

    Picking up. We’re on the road now.

    No Jay, it’s clear they’re picking up bacon.
    what a rad weekend thought…bacon and coming home to a “guest” free home!

  39. you guys hear that Kyle didn’t actually bring a gun across state lines? It was his friend who LIVES in Wisconsin’s gun

  40. I’m actually doing something like this tomorrow
    and I do NOT care if someone thinks I’m a liberal…that’s there problem, not mine…along with my nose piercing I think it will look sweet

  41. Beasn, you may like this:

    https://underwoodgardens.com/whats-wrong-with-our-wheat/

    BASF’s new Beyondtm is another one of the wonderful new classes of persistent herbicides that make manure into garden poison rather than compostable matter. And they have patented strains of wheat that thrive in it, so really, it’s just wonderful and totally okay to put straight into the food supply. If you disagree you hate science and think the Earth is flat.

  42. leon, do you think this is why so many people are now allergic to wheat and whatnot?
    as for soy which I think is a monster, when I had chickens, it was so damned difficult to find feed without soy.
    I had to get wheat berries and lentils and calcium and other various items and grind it up myself in my Vitamix just so I could get feed w/out a buncha of bullshit

  43. Speaking of steak knives…..

    Two hours of sleep. Husband slept at a hotel last night because beta testing…presentation today. Not sure when he’ll come home. If he’s smart, he’ll take a few days to go fishing upon completion of his big meeting. Sister-in-law spent the night to give him peace of mind that I might not be bothered. She tag-teamed the help.

    While MIL was pretty quiet most of yesterday, she was ramping up by early evening. Got up 4x to try to come up the stairs and since the night help wouldn’t let her, she screamed up them instead. She’s getting louder. Was saying my dad was ‘up there and he knows what he did’. Thought we were either hiding Mr. B. or did something to him.

    And then when the night help was stopping her from getting out the back door, MIL hit her. Not hard, but she crossed the line. Also threatened her with a skillet.

    3 am, when she went off again, I went down this time with a shopping bag and told SIL to load up the skillets and knives while MIL called me an assortment of colorful names and disowned SIL because ‘…..’. Asked why I was stealing her things…because she’s threatening people with them….”I didn’t threaten anyone and I only brushed my hand on her face”….sorry Charlie, you are NOT allowed to touch anyone in anger, so go to bed. She didn’t give up her cane willingly. When she went to the toilet, she left it outside the door and SIL confiscated it.

    i have no f*cking idea why noone has given the woman something to make her sleep at night. I understand the hesitation with other meds and the wait for them to start working, but we don’t have several weeks left in us. She is out of control. One of her doctors is getting a call today.

    p.s. – I can still hear her down there going strong. I’m ready to melt.

  44. you guys hear that Kyle didn’t actually bring a gun across state lines?

    Yeah, his attorney put out a statement of what happened. While the kid’s home base is in IL, he was working in WI.

  45. leon, do you think this is why so many people are now allergic to wheat and whatnot?

    Absolutely. I don’t fault Norman Borlaug for trying to feed the world by developing a wheat that could bring the output up and would respond better to synthetic fertilizer (the “Green Revolution” of the 1970’s), but there have clearly been some massive and deleterious unintended consequences. It’s also somewhat sickening that this got greenlit everywhere on earth, but golden rice isn’t allowed out of the lab. There could easily be some badness in that, but the inconsistency is disgusting.

    IIRC, you’re not allowed to try and breed new “atomic tomatoes” anymore either, though you can preserve the existing varieties.

  46. I hear fentanyl works really well as a sleep aid
    *blinks innocently*

  47. Stuff that isn’t genetically modified even tastes better….like the difference between a home grown tomato and something you buy at the store is staggering.
    just…gah

  48. You’d think some progressive hippy would try to push for change re: the Frankenwheats.

    I have been drinking soy milk to see if it will help with symptoms of ovary removal. I didn’t touch it before, but need to figure something out without going on HRT.

  49. Asians eat a lot of tofu and soy sauce and they’re usually pretty healthy and thin.
    I don’t know what I’m saying.

    I want to text Mr. B. and ask when his presentation takes place but he’ll know something is up and lose focus.

  50. Hippies are super against genetically modified anything
    I was leery of soy for a long time, but when I was in the Catholic Homeschooling group…this was their bible…I mean, aside from the regular Bible and all

  51. WHO LET THE F*CKING FLY IN HERE?!
    The little turdlicker is touching all the things.

  52. The difference between how Asians eat it is that it’s all fermented.
    and it’s a side dish, not an entire meal
    aaaaaaaaaaaand look how (totally stereotyping here just like conservatives do to people with colored hair and piercings, yeah, I went there 😛 )
    Asians are not typically known to have super masculine men, yannow?

  53. WHO LET THE F*CKING FLY IN HERE?!

    oooooh the lack of sleep is making beasn hallucinate

  54. Noscript hates your embed, PJ. What book?

  55. Thanks Peej, that looks interesting. Do you have the book?

  56. Asians are not typically known to have super masculine men, yannow?

    I’m told that Irish dudes show up in Asian porn as the well-endowed interracial types.

  57. >>Asians are not typically known to have super masculine men, yannow?

    Is it because of the soy or not enough red meat/too many rice carbs?

  58. Leon, it’s called “Nourishing Traditions”.

  59. by Sally Fallon

  60. I have Nourishing Traditions on the shelf here somewhere, it’s pretty good but one of the authors is an observant jew and the book poo-poo’d pork fat without anything to support it.

  61. I know Sally is the listed author, Mary Enig PhD is who I’m referring to. They also frowned on microwaving without any discussion. I get that microwaves suck, but I need more than “don’t even have one in your kitchen.”

  62. oh, I guess I didn’t get to the pork fat book
    well, she’s dumb
    Is it because of the soy or not enough red meat/too many rice carbs?
    That I cannot say conclusively, however, it stands to reason that if soy mimics estrogenic (is that even a word?) properties that it wouldn’t be wise to have males consume it, right?
    A gf of mine who is a super annoying hippie, but I still love her, we just don’t discuss politics
    used to give her daugher soy formula…daughter grew a 3rd breast. Kaiser, nope have no idea what that could be. bummer
    Takes her to a naturopath…first thing the doctor says is, “you give her soy formula?”
    Stops that kind of formula, 3rd breast goes away
    My friend is a vegetarian and will NOT touch soy

  63. Mmm, crispy pork fat. I notice on the youtubes of Koreans I watch, they love them some pork belly and ham. I don’t like chewy pork fat…but if it will make me pretty like Koreans, I might give it a go.

  64. This is now urban warfare
    —–
    We’re hitting the stall with our porch too. They were moving along and based on the rate they were proceeding I had them finishing this week by my estimate. The laborer hurt his eye in a grinder accident at home two weekends ago and it left just the carpenter. He got the roof shingled last Friday by himself and this week he’s been here a total of 2 hours. I’m paying for the job, not by the hour but this is ridiculous. If we don’t see him tomorrow morning or get an explanation it’ll be time to contact the big boss.

  65. How do you grow a 3rd breast? Perhaps she just had more breast tissue on her person and was sensitive to soy.

    My buddy from high school put her daughter on soy because I can’t remember the reason why she was suspicious of regular formula (with my urging and her desire to try, she did breastfeed for the 1st couple of months). The kid did not go through puberty until she was 15.

  66. Big Triple Boob Friday

  67. A gf of mine who is a super annoying hippie, but I still love her, we just don’t discuss politics
    used to give her daugher soy formula…daughter grew a 3rd breast.

    Did she get her ass to Mars?

  68. PJ, it’s in that book where they are discussing various traditional fats. It seemed needlessly exclusive and featured no reasoning, just bald assertion that pork fat is bad. Pigs are a fantastic animal for any small farm and very easy to raise from feeders to market, and are small enough to process without specialized equipment other than a hoist of some kind that anybody could easily build if they had a need.

  69. I know Sally is the listed author, Mary Enig PhD is who I’m referring to. They also frowned on microwaving without any discussion. I get that microwaves suck, but I need more than “don’t even have one in your kitchen.

    Yeah, I think there was some stuff I couldn’t listen to also
    for me, my body does NOT agree with coconut oil or milk. Stuff makes my guts just churn for whatever reason. Which a shame because there are a lot of really good keto recipes that use those items.
    I did respect Enig for her not kowtowing to the anti saturated fat line.

  70. I tolerate coconut oil fairly well. Olive oil goes through me like a diuretic for my buttholio.

  71. If we don’t see him tomorrow morning or get an explanation it’ll be time to contact the big boss.

    You’re lucky you have a big boss to go to…our big boss is the failure in this project.

  72. All that said, their “how to safely prepare grains and legumes” sections are excellent. Again, I can’t tolerate that many carbs without spending hours doing hard labor, but it’s nice to have it as an option if I’m in the mood for them and have done the work to accommodate.

    Most of the time, though, I just make yesterday’s rice. Easier than fermenting buckwheat groats.

  73. How do you grow a 3rd breast? Perhaps she just had more breast tissue on her person and was sensitive to soy.

    I cannot say whether it was literally a third breast or a big growth that occurred right in the middle of her boobs or even where it was. Your theory is correct. That still doesn’t explain why Asians by and large aren’t super big.

  74. Pigs are assholes.

  75. I am not hallucinating a fly. He is putting his poopy paws and lips all over my surfaces.

  76. Asian genetics make KPop stars with awesome dance moves. Except the females. Very waifish and their dance moves suck.

  77. Pigs are delicious.

    *assumes fighting position*

  78. That still doesn’t explain why Asians by and large aren’t super big.

    The potential is there, but the path doesn’t include soy. I used to follow a Korean-American guy on fitocracy with a 1500# powerlifting total. He ate something like 4+ pork loins a week based on his posts.

  79. Pigs are assholes.

    Yes, makes it easy to harvest them when the time comes.

  80. Ethnicity. Soy may be broken down and used by the body differently in different ethnic groups, which is why individuals from some countries who eat a lot of soy appear to benefit from the food.

    This is from a Harvard study regarding soy.
    Different ethnicities tolerate things differently…just like blacks are by and large allergic to milk.
    Although I have observed that the Maasai drink cow’s milk…but they mix it with the cow’s blood and I always wondered if that somehow made it tolerable to their system

  81. >>>I tolerate coconut oil fairly well. Olive oil goes through me like a diuretic for my buttholio.

    I’m allergic to coconut and nearly every healthy cookbook/recipe includes coconut oil. Wth. I’m good with olive oil.

  82. He ate something like 4+ pork loins a week based on his posts.

    yes..no estrogen doping

  83. Have you tried avocado oil beasn? that’s a very good high heat oil and doesn’t personally make me ill

  84. PBS did a thing on the Maasai. They probably have been able to adapt via a mutated gene – like Northern EUropeans – over many many centuries of herding cows.

  85. They suck on it straight from the teat, too.

  86. Although I have observed that the Maasai drink cow’s milk…but they mix it with the cow’s blood and I always wondered if that somehow made it tolerable to their system

    It’s also modestly fermented in the mixing with blood, plus the Masaai have been living like that forever. Their genes and epigenetic patterns are well-adapted/pre-selected for cow’s milk.

  87. No trying of the avocado oil. Yet. Think I tasted an avocado once and didn’t like it.

  88. They suck on it straight from the teat, too.

    I’ve seen the kids doing that, do the adults? The kids might still be carrying forward lactose tolerance from infancy.

  89. Think Imma eat an early lunch – chicken/veggie egg roll, salad, red grapes, and then see if I can get some sleep.

    Debating if i should put my head downstairs to see if helper is doing okay. And to grab the letter opener in the event MIL wants to shishkabob someone’s eyeball.

  90. Not sure leon.

  91. >>>Different ethnicities tolerate things differently…

    RAYCISS!!

  92. St. Jude, you did better than I did, I only lasted 16 seconds.

    Is there anything better than being informed that you haven’t done enough for the current project, and must spend extra time to get everything done, then walking in to see people telling you about the day off they will be taking, and the nice 4 day weekend they get?

    How abut busting hump for the current project, only to see the lab director recognize the one guy who hasn’t touched hardware yet and hasn’t really worked on this since November. And no one else. The four of us actually working this are steamed.

    Prayers up for beasn and family. Calling on St. Dymphna, patron of the mentally afflicted.

  93. How abut busting hump for the current project, only to see the lab director recognize the one guy who hasn’t touched hardware yet and hasn’t really worked on this since November. And no one else.

    laaaaaaaaaaaame

  94. Fuck a bunch of cantaloupe and watermelon. Other than that, I’ll eat damned near anything. Oh, and lima beans too.

  95. It’s probably worth noting that the sugar (lactose) content of human milk is shockingly high, something like 8x the lactose content of cow’s milk, so as you age and your production of lactase ramps down, tolerating milk with far less lactose makes a lot of sense in childhood no matter what the race.

    That sucks, Roamy. Hopefully there’s some rectification there.

  96. Fuck a bunch of cantaloupe and watermelon.

    No matter what you’ve heard, this isn’t actually very fun.

    I’ve heard.

    From MJ.

  97. I am so glad Merv has taken over dealing with our contractor. I can’t do it anymore…I…just..can’t

    Crew comes in to install a slider door and our new front door…that is NOT going where our old front door is….Merv asks, do you know where the new front door is going? Mouth breather responds with, “I assume it’s replacing the old one. Merv says no, you should probably call Ron (the contractor)
    Ron says Merv a text saying this: Good Morning

    I appreciate your desire to get this done but you twisted their little brains

    Merv responds with: What do you mean?
    I asked what all they were doing. Chris (mouth breather) said the slider and the new front door. I asked him if he knew where the new front door was going and he pointed at the old door and said he assumed they were just replacing it. I told him he should call you.
    So aside from setting straight guys that showed to do things that would have fucked up everything cause they didn’t know exactly what they were there to do, I’m not sure how I twisted their brains.

    Contractor has yet to respond…please kill me

  98. PJM, judging by your posts and comments here, I’m guessing you have the ability to verbally annihilate anyone in your path. I can’t wait to read the Yelp review when this is over.

  99. >>>Fuck a bunch of cantaloupe and watermelon.

    Coworker at the Walmart….used to be a groupie. Went to a guy’s house for a dinner date. He disappeared and she found him in a back bedroom screwing the watermelon. He looked up and asked if she wanted any. She’s like…’sounds good but I need to get a little something something from my car…don’t move’.

    She got in her car and left.

  100. Shit, MIL got away from the help and she came up looking for Mr. B.. I’m a slut and a prostitute making good money and stealing hers. Wanted to know how many men I was having sex with.

    Then she saw the pile of pots/pans/knives we confiscated. She chased me into the kitchen. I am super shaky from lack of sleep and I was about ready to call an ambulance to take her ass back to the hospital. How the hell is she still standing?

  101. MIL had yanked down the baby gate. Told the help, after we got her back downstairs, if she has to, sit in front of the stairs….but then it presents the problem of her running out the back door.

  102. PJM, judging by your posts and comments here, I’m guessing you have the ability to verbally annihilate anyone in your path. I can’t wait to read the Yelp review when this is over.

    ahahaha I have been taken off the contractor response team as I cannot be kind or rational at this point

  103. He disappeared and she found him in a back bedroom screwing the watermelon.

    That’s freaking terrifying
    so is your MIL
    holy hell beasn
    it’s like a horror movie

  104. PJM, if you could get your hair to look like that I think it would be pretty.

    I’ve seen some blonde/gray women who make their hair this gorgeous gray-purple, I cannot articulate the color. I couldn’t pull it off but on the right skin tone, it’s really attractive.

    And every now and then I see a pretty pink-haired person but I only really like it if it’s done well, the hair is healthy and it’s not too bright.

  105. beasn, does the help have tranqs? I’m worried for your safety.

  106. duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude
    Ron responded to Merv: No actually they were there for one reason and one reason only…”set slider”
    No discussion was ever made to them about front door.

    No worries just they left due to being confused so now my schedule is all jacked up

    Merv responds: That’s not what they told me. And after he called you he told me they were doing the slider, the toilet, and electrical. I offered nothing.
    asked if they finished the slider at least
    Ron doesn’t respond
    Merv tries to call him, he texts back, can’t talk will call back later

    I message child number 3 and ask if everyone left
    He’s like no, Ron, the beanie guy (mouth breather) and some other guy are here

    Sooooo contractor fucking lied to Merv

  107. Peej, we’re contracted with a national chain called Archadeck. After a couple of weeks I figured out the crew is just local guys who would otherwise be getting work by hanging a card at the gas station or Home Depot. The company acts as the clearing house for insurance, plans and guarantees on the work. The carpenter is a good guy, does good work but doesn’t really work overtime. Average day is about 5-6 hours of work. Whatever, as long as the work is solid I don’t mind that schedule. The lack of him showing up this week without an explanation is what’s atypical and will generate an email from me tomorrow

  108. I’ve seen some blonde/gray women who make their hair this gorgeous gray-purple, I cannot articulate the color. I couldn’t pull it off but on the right skin tone, it’s really attractive.

    I had let mine grow out grey fully, but I felt like I looked so much older than Merv…so I dyed it and now I really regret it because the upkeep on the red is expensive and a pain, so I’m going to have them actually do a kind of silver tomorrow and then do maybe the tips in fall colors. I really love fall colors

  109. beasn, does the help have tranqs? I’m worried for your safety.

    Like, of the horse variety

  110. The lack of him showing up this week without an explanation is what’s atypical and will generate an email from me tomorrow
    Merv and I have finally gotten to the point where, if someone is at least doing something daily, we won’t complain. But we’re getting all our new kitchen appliances delivered next Saturday and our kitchen isn’t even close to being ready…like, there’s not even a roof over part of it and Ron lying about everyone leaving today is bizarre.
    I hate to throw around things like pathological liar, but this man will tell two different stories in the same conversation and not even realize he’s done it….it is almost fascinating. Thing is, he thinks we don’t notice.

  111. Sounds like Ron might have a drug problem.

    I worked with a subcontractor that was like that, two different stories in the same paragraph, disappeared for hours when you turned your back, manic one minute sleepy the next. Dude was a mess.

  112. I texted my sisnlaw while my BIL was on phone with doc. He told him what I texted. Blah blah…change the meds again, but this time, if there is no improvement in 2-3 days she goes back to the psych ward.

    BIL is on his way over. Husband just finished his presentation. He asked about how it went and I told him ‘handled – radio silence. Enjoy a good lunch.’

    My sisnlaw was able to nap with her grandbaby. So jelly.

  113. beasn, does the help have tranqs? I’m worried for your safety.

    Hopefully the med change includes some. Thank you, leon. I lock my door when I go to bed. I also remembered to confiscate her letter opener….and a pencil, because why not.

  114. >>this man will tell two different stories in the same conversation and not even realize he’s done it….it is almost fascinating.

    Drugs or he’s gone demented like MIL. It’s what she does.

  115. Jeebus on the 2nd video but wow on the 1st.

    Mz Stuyvesant isn’t wrong. Isn’t rocket science shit’s been true a toned babe that eats healthy is gonna be hotter (and a dude the same) for the last 60 years and forever before and after.

    I’ve gotten old and fat and enjoy my mead too much though.


  116. >>>Fuck a bunch of cantaloupe and watermelon.

    I tried it. Clearly I need to make the hole bigger. I was careful to make the edgee smooth tho on my watermelon. Meh it just wasted $1.16 for a nice big Anna Kournikova shaped one.
    Watermelon was on sale at Food City.

  117. I worked with a subcontractor that was like that, two different stories in the same paragraph, disappeared for hours when you turned your back, manic one minute sleepy the next. Dude was a mess.

    So it gets even better….he’s strict Mormon…his mom married an abusive stepdad who used to beat the crap out of him and his siblings like severely and daily
    He’s never touched a drop of alcohol in his life.
    But he’s hunched over and can’t look anyone in the eye. He cannot handle people not liking him. So he lies to constantly deflect blame.

    Like he’ll “accidentally” send me a text that shows he is reprimanding his employees….only I highly doubt he ever sends it to them, ooops, sorry I sent it to you the homeowner instead.


  118. Purple is really attractive

  119. I just took a break and went home and tore him a new asshole
    all this time, I’ve been nice because I’m afraid he’ll leave and then I’ll be screwed. At this point, the boys rooms are finished enough and I have a sorta functioning original kitchen that I no longer care if he leaves

    I get home and I say,
    I’m here because you told Merv everyone left
    Ron: They did
    Me: Well you should probably let Merv know this. I’m so sick of the lies Ron
    Ron: What lies?
    Me: you told Merv everyone left and now your schedule is all screwed up? Don’t you dare put this on Merv. You said everyone left because of him
    Ron: I’m here now so what does it matter?
    Me: Well, you said everyone left and that it was Merv’s fault
    Him starting to get in my face, but then slinking away and making zero eye contact: well the guys were here for one thing and one thing only
    Me: Me, that is NOT what was told to Merv. He was told they were doing, plumbing, electrical, and the doors
    Him: no, they were only supposed to do the doors
    Me: Then why did they say that
    Him: Him, well they were supposed to do the plumbing, doors, and electrical til I got there.
    Me: ok then…so it’s true
    Him: but only til I got there
    Me: You should probalby tell Merv that everyone is here
    Him looking at phone: I told him he jacked up my schedule and that I’m here now
    I message Merv: Ron says he told you he was here
    Merv: Ask Ron to show you wehre he said that
    I ask Ron, Ron looks at phone again: Ok yeah, I guess I only told him that he jacked up my schedule
    Ron cannot make eye contact with me
    I said YEAH…and left


  120. Ron cannot make eye contact with me
    I said YEAH…and left

    You left or he left? OY, sorry dont know all backstory but if not prepaid or giving a hell of a deal with some guarantee of finish sounds like ‘You’re fired’ time.

  121. judging by the contractor stories it’s no wonder my brother has so much work. Plus hes rural iowa, no national chains there.

  122. beasn, you have to get that taken care of, you are in danger. I don’t care if it’s mr b’s mom, you are in danger.

  123. sorry. I left. I had to go back to work
    I am so mad I’m shaking right now dealing with him
    he put us in a group text
    in the 8 years I’ve known Merv, he’s never seen me this angry
    I am losing my mind
    We paid him a looooooot of money, but we’re kinda trapped as we’re in a gutted home
    bu in group text
    I went medieval on his ass
    and it feels good

  124. judging by the contractor stories it’s no wonder my brother has so much work. Plus hes rural iowa, no national chains there.

    oh I’m absolutely sick. Madeleine moved out and is just couch surfing at people’s houses because she can’t take living like this
    aaaaaaaaaaand he told me “I’m creating a new reality.” and that “I’ve obviously got a lot built up”
    ahahahahaha I’m letting Merv type the next response

  125. I hope Ron doesn’t just bolt. shy ones like that don’t like confrontation.

  126. I wonder how the clams in Rhode Island are doing

  127. Does anyone want to hear about firewall battles, and SQL server?

    Didn’t think so.

  128. Oof

    Why I have learned the hard way to get everything in writing with detail before even giving a deposit on any work over a few hundred dollars.

    Best of luck with that.

  129. heh, can’t get people to do work that way, hamslice!


  130. Does anyone want to hear about firewall battles, and SQL server?

    Didn’t think so.

    Didn’t think so.
    That’s why we comment on your blogs instead of hosting our own 😛


  131. Does anyone want to hear about firewall battles, and SQL server?

    Didn’t think so.

    That’s why we comment on your blogs instead of hosting our own 😛

  132. Jay, do you want to hear about being forced to work around antipatterns coded by career academics to port a badly-written search tool built to run on spark to source tables in redshift and then operate on them (again, badly) in spark rather than redshift?

    I’m about ready to lose my shit entirely.

  133. *reads comment

    Want some paste?

  134. Lab director straightened out on who is doing the work on this project. That’s the nice thing about working here for 35 years, there’s moments where you don’t give a shit because you’re not going to get promoted any more anyway and you can, as my retired Army co-worker used to say, fire for effect. Ordinarily, I would say you can get a lot done if you don’t care who gets the credit, but this was just egregious.

    Listening to Cuomo’s threats over the NY budget reminds me of a 17-year-old brat high school student (not my kid) who totaled a brand new Mustang and insisted on his parents buying him another one.

  135. ugh, that sucks about them not knowing who does the work.

  136. Why I have learned the hard way to get everything in writing with detail before even giving a deposit on any work over a few hundred dollars.

    Yeah, I have made a lot of mistakes.

  137. Want some paste?

    A couple weeks ago, or a week, or month, maybe it was last year, I can’t keep track, I said this was the wrong approach, we need to build something native to the new environment that does the same essential tasks.

    “We can do that after, get this to work first.”

  138. Jay, do you want to hear about being forced to work around antipatterns coded by career academics to port a badly-written search tool built to run on spark to source tables in redshift and then operate on them (again, badly) in spark rather than redshift?

    I’m about ready to lose my shit entirely.

    You should try just using a search tool built to run in redshift. /solutions

  139. I like to hear the computer nonsense. I had to take a class in SQL…can’t remember for what
    but here
    you guys pronounce it Sequel (as I do) or Es Q El (like my old boss does)

  140. “We can do that after, get this to work first.”

    Always famous last words.

    There’s never an easy temporary fix. Just do it right the first time and save yourself a lot of headache.

  141. It’s obviously “Squeal”, as in “like a piggy.”

  142. Never enough time to do it right, but always enough time to do it over.

  143. Select ‘SQL’ from H2 where PJM ‘sound it out’

  144. I’ve said it both ways. I think I usually say S Q L, but I don’t go correcting anyone.

    If I get this shit to work, I guarantee I’ll have to support it forever. Talk about incentives!

  145. sequel is easier


  146. you guys pronounce it Sequel (as I do) or Es Q El (like my old boss does)

    I’m more an accountant than a programmer unless but I hear “sequel” more often than spelling out wjen described


    Cuomo

    I still dont understand why anyone would want to live in any of those dem run shitholes even if the pay is ‘higher’ … but I’m the type that would happily live on the side of a mountain with no more than 1-2 neighbors within a 2 hour drive and have been so for some time.

  147. My sister is charged with getting my mom’s house ready for sale. It’s in a senior development with great resale value but the house has a few issues. About 2-3 months ago the roof leaked despite being replaced 4 or 5 years ago. Maybe because it was replaced by a hack who did a crappy job. That was taken care of quickly over a period of a few weeks. The garage has water damage from pooling after rain or melting snow and the engineer hired by the development sounds like he could work on Peej’s house. A lot of headaches that I’m glad she’s handling.

  148. How do you pronounce “JDBC”? Do you say Jay Dee Bee See or do you say “bafflegab”?

  149. Jesus Database Christ!

  150. It’s obviously “Squeal”, as in “like a piggy.”

    ahahaha I’m gonna do that next I.T. meeting
    ummm, excuse me? It’s pronounced Squeal?

  151. I have a guy I can send your way Jimbro

  152. Contractor says he never lies…I mean, except for this morning
    he made the mistake of group texting Mev and I and I went off

  153. I don’t use j-d-b-c, i use o-d-b-c

  154. looks like he done pissed her off

  155. I spelled “excoriating” wrong
    how embarrassing
    not that the contractor knows what it means anyway

  156. Comment by Jay in Ames on September 3, 2020 3:41 pm
    I don’t use j-d-b-c, i use o-d-b-c

    Wasn’t ODBC a founding member of the Wu-Tang Clan?

  157. looks like he done pissed her off

    Wha? Now why on earth would you assume a thing like that?
    for shame

  158. *Excoriates PJ*

  159. *Excoriates PJ*

    damn that hurts!!!
    I don’t even know what it means!!!

  160. Okay, we can riot now!

  161. I think Laura and Scott are passed out in a clam coma somewhere on the side of a Rhode Island highway.

  162. That’s not drool on their mouths, it’s tartar sauce

  163. I saw Clam Coma open for Pantera back in ’05.

  164. Clam Coma: The Whole Belly Tour

  165. of a Rhode Island highway.

    Pink champagne on ice
    they are just visitors there
    and clams are their vice?

  166. The place we went to was right on the water and didn’t have fried wholebellies, only stuffed. Bleargh. So I did the lobster burger instead. It was just okay. Scott said his softshell crab sammich was just okay; “The point of this place is the location, not the food.” We were yacht-watching. We saw this semi-famous one called “Full Moon.” According to the internet, it’s for sale for the low, low, loooowww price of $15.9 meeellyun dolares. Scrape around under those couch cushions and get on down!

  167. Peej, the fucker is making you pay his employees directly??? That shit better be coming off your bill! You should document everything that happened on this job, including the thefts, and turn this dick in. I bet there’s a lot of other shady shit going on.

  168. Say his name Jimbro. Say. His. Name.

  169. Are they using your handtowels to wipe their butts?

  170. Jay, pass the paste.

  171. Please.

  172. Peej, the fucker is making you pay his employees directly??? That shit better be coming off your bill! You should document everything that happened on this job, including the thefts, and turn this dick in. I bet there’s a lot of other shady shit going on.

    yes, and it turns out…he lost his contractor’s license..and is using his brother’s. It honestly never ends

  173. mare, please pass the paste if you and Jay are done with it

  174. A commenter on yootoob just cited Matthew 5:30 and suggested I take Depo Provera if I’m still having a problem with pr0n.

    Bless her heart.

  175. To be fair, there were other responders with much better suggestions, but that really stood out a gem, particularly in the context of me expressing frustration with God.

  176. So, moving day is tomorrow. I’m so excited. Mostly excited about what we got her for a housewarming gift. We did a couple of big shopping trips and got her all the pantry staples. Coffee, filters, canned tomatoes, beans, tuna, pasta, split peas and lentils, cans of soup, breadcrumbs, ziplocs, aluminum foil, plastic wrap, trash bags, dish soap and sponges, TP and paper towels and napkins, flour, rice, sugar, salt, an assortment of spices, etcetera and so forth. Then I boxed it all up to hand to the movers on Friday all sneaky like. *big sneaky smile* Ha ha ha, she’s gonna poop her pants.

    We were talking yesterday and she told me that she was deep-cleaning at her new apartment prior to moving in. While she was there, a family nearby had a little dog that kept barking in the parking lot, and a guy with a busted muffler started up his loud car and drove away. She was thinking to herself, “Is this what I’m going to have to hear every day?” Then later she was in the backyard here and saw a couple deer. “I’m going to miss seeing nature every day.”

    Lol, at these little cranky spoiled sounds she makes. I told her that guy with the car was undoubtedly on his way to the mechanic to get his pipes fixed; “Thank God you’ll never have to hear THAT again!” and we both laughed.

    Guys, I love this gal to bits but I am fucking STOKED right now to be alone again with my husband.

  177. OMG if they are wiping their poopy fingers on your hand towels like this effing fly, that is buzzing me…calling me a slut, I will come out there and bury them under the concrete.

  178. Jimbro, that guy looks like a tranny.

  179. Worst tranny ever … yet good enough to be an election monitor for the NH Dems

  180. Guys, I love this gal to bits but I am fucking STOKED right now to be alone again with my husband.

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

  181. Bless her heart.

    you tell her you have zero problems with it?

  182. Wow, get caught voting twice in NH, and they make you an election inspector…..

  183. you tell her you have zero problems with it?

    Uh, no, the context was decidedly the opposite of that. I took issue with the video content because I disagreed with the poster’s use of shaming language and name-calling for anyone he’d characterize as not really trying to kick the habit describing themselves as “struggling”.

  184. Naked day at the Lauraw’s is almost here.


  185. got her all the pantry staples. Coffee, filters, canned tomatoes, beans, tuna, pasta, split peas

    I head to read that thrice. I could have sworn it said paste. Lots of paste eating in this thread.

    Maybe thats what attracted me to it.

  186. hah, you say “um, no” as if you’re not at the hostages..

  187. poster’s use of shaming language and name-calling for anyone he’d characterize as not really trying to kick the habit describing themselves as “struggling”

    and yeah, black and white thinking really sucks.

  188. Joe Biden would bring back civility.

    lulz
    that’s from carin’s article

  189. Of course you are, Rick, because you’re a giant asshole.

  190. I was assured for 8 years that Rick was a racist who wanted to poison black people with tainted water, so of course that’s the endorsement you should want.

  191. Beasn, please stay safe. Peej, San Diego doesn’t have Messican contractors?

  192. LOl, both responses.

    I’m used to the never-Trumper bla bla bla about civility, but the minute they start talking-up Biden … it’s just over for me.

    I know they’re insane.

  193. hah, you say “um, no” as if you’re not at the hostages..

    Sorry, I think you missed the start of this journey for me. I’ve been trying to quit porn for about 7 years, with varying degrees of success. I’ve read 6 books on the subject, the entirety of YBOP, and read The Brain That Changes Itself for more insight. I’ve taken it to Confession dozens of times since I returned to the church 6 years ago. I did all the things I was supposed to do psychologically and spiritually, even asked around online for an accountability partner and got turned down. I haven’t bothered with accountability software because I can bypass such things with ease, whereas the host (an admitted non-techie) seems to think such things are bulletproof.

    The context of our discussion was my disagreement with shaming language by the host (a man I respect who’s been fighting the good fight on this for a decade and more, this struck me as uncharacteristic and borne of frustration rather than charity), along with my own admitted loss of hope and anger with God. Telling me to cut off my hand or feminize myself — “you haven’t tried everything” — struck me as unhelpful.

  194. Oso, my grand niece LOVES her Gund bear, Toothpick. So much so that my nephew/wife bought a back up Toothpick. She’s so cute toddling around all bowl-legged with him slung over her shoulder.

  195. I got struck a lot in that comment, I apologize for my repetitive turn of phrase. My kinesthetic modality is primary, and English offers us precious few metaphors that are apt for the situation.

  196. So much so that my nephew/wife bought a back up Toothpick.

    This is wise. We have 3 backups for Sparkles the unicorn.

  197. Leon, where was this?

  198. Beasn, I need a Toothpick!

  199. Comment by Car in on September 3, 2020 5:57 pm
    Naked day at the Lauraw’s is almost here.

    Clamfest 2020.

  200. Leon, where was this?

    Here, in the comments: How You Can Quit Porn Q&A. I like Matt a lot, I respect his work, him calling me a coward doesn’t help.

  201. Sorry, I bungled that link the first time trying to prevent the embed, I think it’s fixed now.

  202. Yea, Leon. Just stop. Duh.

    (kidding)

  203. Thanks.

    You’re not alone. I’ve found myself slipping back into bad habits, especially over the past few months as the stress of looking for a new job got to me, and now the frustration with work.

  204. Buy your Christmas items NOW! Supply chain is broken. No guarantees before Christmas. We had Bobbies last night. Mmmm…Bobbies.

  205. A bobbie is a turkey sammich with stuffing and jellied cranberries. We make it open faced. Green chile is between the turkey and stuffing. Smothered in poultry gravy.

  206. We? Pfft Dan makes it open faced.

  207. Welcome Alex, my current thoughts on the matter are in the comments there and responses to others. I decided to take my issues away from here rather than worry anyone who might, like, call me or something.

  208. I would NEVER call you.

    But that wasn’t really a real concern, was it?

  209. Supply chain is broken.
    —–
    Gift cards!

  210. I would NEVER call you.

    But that wasn’t really a real concern, was it?

    I’d never pick up, I’d just assume some beer tree farmer had stolen your phone.

  211. If I call you, or any of you, you’d better pick. It’s probably a matter of life or death.

  212. Or a beer tree farmer.

  213. — “you haven’t tried everything” — struck me as unhelpful.
    Not helpful even slightly.
    I appreciate the backstop.

    Out of curiosity and coming from a place of ignorance.
    Like an alcoholic, do you have to quit cold turkey? Like Big Boob Friday is certainly soft pork.

  214. Atomic Habits by James Clear is a pretty good read about making changes in your behavior that is much more practical in format than The Brain that Changes Itself.

  215. We now have YouTube TV after ditching cable and it takes a little bit to switch between channels with the lag. As a result I caught the opening of the CBS national news. They were really hyping Joe’s trip to Kenosha and contrasting it with the Trump trip.

    (Spoiler Alert: IT WAS A DISASTER FOR TRUMP).

    It’s all so predictable and hilarious.

  216. PJ, I swapped MMM from hot girls in lycra to mushrooms and giant rocks. I usually look at the BBF to at least appreciate the work and chatter about them in the comments, but I’ve never found them especially triggering. “Cold turkey” as a metaphor doesn’t really obtain, I don’t think, because the limit is really when the dopamine starts and flowing I feel the desire to escalate. Any given picture or video might just as easily arouse or disgust me, depending on my mood and the context. I do my best to just avoid sexual content most of the time since I never know how I’ll react in the moment, but it’s mindboggling what sorts of things will lead to a triggering event. I have to be particularly careful about hearing women’s voices, even. Not yours, but some.

    I’ve decided that my best path at the moment is to quit entirely out of spite and raw anger.

  217. Soft..pork.

    Awesome

  218. I have a copy of Atomic Habits about 3 feet away from me right now. I haven’t made a habit of starting it yet. I do read his newsletter though.

  219. I thought I might have bought it as an e-book and then not read it, but Kindle Reader says I don’t have it.

  220. Not yours, but some.

    Ahahaha
    Rekt

  221. His newsletter had a discount offer on the hardcover a couple of months ago which is what prompted me to order it.

    https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1

  222. I do have a copy of Unwanted coming tomorrow, which I’ll likely read unless the first chapter is garbage. I have a bad habit of buying books aspirationally and then not following through.

  223. I do enjoy the archeology posts
    My major was gonna be either geology or geography and well, I’d like to say life got in the way but the reality is
    I got in my own way

  224. You’d just be frustrated at all the mainstream deniers who refuse to accept that the Sphinx is 40,000 years old and used to be an Anubis.

  225. Gift cards aren’t refundable. Just sayin

  226. I should have double-majored in either geology or geography, along with my actual major.

  227. You’d just be frustrated at all the mainstream deniers who refuse to accept that the Sphinx is 40,000 years old and used to be an Anubis.
    I do enjoy my I.T. job
    Got my own office, I’m the only one here, and I probably make more than I would have with a geology degree

  228. and yeah, black and white thinking really sucks.

    ———————————————

    Anyone have any ideas on how I could get my wife to become black and white thinking?

  229. Anyone have any ideas on how I could get my wife to become black and white thinking?
    You sound very I.T. as well haha

  230. ***starts reading from beginning***

    I did see a picture of one gal who had an attractive “coloring” in her hair – it was all the colors of the rainbow in nicely delineated stripes.

    If course, I am sure that she is a liberal loon, but her hair looked cool…..

  231. Got my own office, I’m the only one here, and I probably make more than I would have with a geology degree

    Now I’m jealous. I haven’t had my own office for years.

    Well, until the Kung Flu.

  232. I could have sworn it said paste.
    Me, too, hamslice.

    Leon, it sounds as helpful as “Well, don’t be so sad!” to a depressed person.

    Co-worker took a pic of himself and the crane operator in the clean room, then shared it. I’m waiting for someone to gig him for not keeping the 6′ social distance, even though they are wearing clean room suits and masks, just because there’s covid nazis out there.

  233. Fat boy run completed. Next up, more work, and push ups. I’m a wild man these days.

  234. Oh man, the ultimate soyboy “Vegan Gains” got married at some point and — I’m not kidding — pimps his wife’s OnlyFans account in his vlogs now. “She does full noods!” he says, proudly.

    Parody is dead.

  235. Like Big Boob Friday is certainly soft pork.

    I swear I will cut you.

  236. Oh man, the ultimate soyboy “Vegan Gains” got married at some point and — I’m not kidding — pimps his wife’s OnlyFans account in his vlogs now. “She does full noods!” he says, proudly.

    I can’t be alt-right, but damn if weirdos like this don’t drive me towards hard-core Catholicism some days.

  237. Modify your soft pork with the soy based triple nipple

    (link to cartoon drawing of female anatomy)

    https://tinyurl.com/y6hzvpye

    “Milk Line”

  238. I’m happy to say I didn’t fall for any hair salon set ups today

    You can never let your guard down

  239. I did see a picture of one gal who had an attractive “coloring” in her hair – it was all the colors of the rainbow in nicely delineated stripes.

    that will be me tomorrow….well hopefully. Trying to get rid of this red is apparently a two part process.

  240. Like Big Boob Friday is certainly soft pork.

    I swear I will cut you.

    Soft pork is the best…you don’t really even have to cut it. I just falls off the boner

  241. look you guys!!! My new doors got put in today!!
    aren’t they fantastic?!

  242. Spiffy.

  243. Leon, just FYI, the return on fresh locally grown ginger in northern states may be way better than other crops. Apparently fresh ginger with tall greens still growing out of it and no skin is a culinary jewel. And it’s easy as Hell to grow. Just needs a little supplemental heat in Spring, and some row covers in Summer to hold the heat in.

  244. fresh ginger is a huuuuuuuuuge hit this part of the country

  245. Interesting. I’ve had good luck with horseradish up here, but that was at the old place. I wonder if they ever dug out the wine-barrel planter.

  246. YOUR DOOR IS LEFT OPEN TO THE ELEMENTS ON THE TOP?????

    FUCK THE WHAT, OVER

  247. Movers will be here in 11 hours!

  248. YOUR DOOR IS LEFT OPEN TO THE ELEMENTS ON THE TOP?????

    It’s SoCal. There are no elements.

  249. Nancy Pelosi could waft right in.

  250. It’s SoCal. There are no elements.

    Just messicans.

  251. Yah mon,’urban farmer curtis stone’ has a ginger series that is pretty good on youtube.

  252. YOUR DOOR IS LEFT OPEN TO THE ELEMENTS ON THE TOP
    They might have missed a spot….or two

    Nancy Pelosi could waft right in.
    We’re not wearing masks, no telling what she might do

  253. Just messicans

    as long as they work on the house, I’m ok with that

  254. The latest “Sources say” regarding Trump is utterly vile.

    The Sullivan standard needs to be gutted like a Tijuana hooker. This shit is out of control and it is wrong.

  255. Movers will be here in 11 hours!

    YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
    I just love this

  256. I used to watch Stone, but I quit after he blood libeled the Catholic Church for… the Salem Witch Trials.

    Fucking Canadians need to stay in their lane.

  257. Housewarming gift for the W’s

    Sous Vide Brisket

  258. Comment by leoncaruthers on September 3, 2020 9:59 pm
    I used to watch Stone, but I quit after he blood libeled the Catholic Church for… the Salem Witch Trials.

    Fucking Canadians need to stay in their lane.

    Wait… what?

  259. Exactly. I commented and gently corrected. No response, no apology, no correction.

  260. https://tinyurl.com/y2frruwb

  261. https://tinyurl.com/y2bubn7s

  262. Leon/laura, taking notes. Different problems, but the advice is probably useful to me.

    PJM, I suggest new decor for your demesne. I’m thinking severed head of contractor as a start.

  263. Also, anyone who can’t tell the difference between Catholics and Protestants is either an idiot or a bad-faith jackhole.

    $20 but Canadian.

  264. PJM, I suggest new decor for your demesne. I’m thinking severed head of contractor as a start.

    oooh I like how you think!!! On a pike

  265. Bro Tim, I’m usually happy if they can understand that Catholics are christians.

  266. Darrell enjoyed Rhonda’s posterior.


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