Back home from the big graduation party!

Be Prepared! Got a trip to Your Mom’s house today!

Haunting your Keto dreams!


  1. https://tinyurl.com/y4424v3w

  2. I am just kvetching, moving sucks sweaty donkey kong. I have 3 days to pack and I am overwhelmed! Anyone in Denver want to help?

    I thought so, maybe throwing money at it will make it go away. It is 4:07am I am calling it a night

  3. Thanks for a few much needed chuckles Jay!

  4. I moved 7 times in 12 years between med school, residency, fellowship and two jobs. Back then I owned a metric shit ton less crap. Unfortunately my last move was in’99 and I’ve lived in the same house through 2 wives lol. Current wife, who I’d like to keep, has been campaigning for a dumpster which will happen at some point.

  5. wakey wakey

  6. Amateurs.

  7. I moved once a year for 4 years in a row. Not doing that again.

    My wife wants to do a yard sale. She got the hoarding gene and is trying to fight it. I only hoard scraps of wood. And books.

  8. You can’t horde books. You only expand your library to be prepared for any eventuality.

  9. You can only expand your library to be prepared for the worst move ever.

  10. That’s why God made a lumper.

  11. The next time I move will be to the morgue. Won’t be taking much with me.

  12. First

  13. A violent gang: horde
    A pile of stuff: hoard

    This is a reminder for the homophonophiles among us.

  14. homophonophiles


  15. How your mom makes her mad money: whored

  16. Mom, how long did it take you to (checks Leon’s comment) hoard that sock full of quarters?

    About three months, but your aunt whored half of em.

  17. The assistant pastor at our parish when I grew up was Father Hoar.

  18. Starving people do not eat clothes, duh.
    Okay, maybe in CHYna someone has tried it since they eat just about anything disgusting.

  19. From TiF’s link yesterday…

    Police have since charged 24-year-old Nuemonei Tre Vonne Laster over the fatal shooting.

    Think that was a birth name?

  20. How was the graduation party, Jay?

    Love the purebread up yonder.

  21. Democrat Party: We support a half black Jamaican whore, or a fat, ugly black communist whore, but the main thing is the VP pick must be black and a whore.

  22. Co-worker shared this, I thought it was worth 3 minutes.

    Cat climbing.

  23. They don’t give a flying f*ck, hotspur, so long as they can get enough demrat states to do mail-in ballots.

  24. The business I work for is entirely populated by pudding dipped Karens.

    Healthcare is lost.

  25. I thought that cat was going to fly off the parapet and grab the bunny.

    How are the sunspots, roamy? It got down into the 50s last night and will continue through the week. 70s during the day.

  26. Beasn, we’re right at the beginning of the next solar cycle, so the sunspots are starting to appear. Still pretty quiet. 153 days so far this year without sunspots.

  27. That climbing wall looks too pristine. It needs a BLM fist with ACAB under it and a Sharpie dick outline in the fist.

  28. It’s been too hot here for the pole beans to set fruit. Lots of flowers, no beans. Hopefully a break in the heat will allow some to start to form.

    Started a teensy batch of sour pickles this morning 🙂 yayyy! A bit late since I lost the first crop but at least we’re getting something.

  29. Garden tomato sammich for breakfast. White bread, mayo. I don’t care. I can’t deny myself this. What if I die tomorrow?

  30. *clutches chest, expires, with a last little bite of tomato sammich clutched in hand*

    Eulogy: “She died doing what she loved best….”

    I mean, seriously people.

  31. Total agreement on garden tomato sammich. I have had some kickass BLTs lately.

  32. May have better moving help soon. But I seem to have been ghosted by the rental I put in on last week, so Couch surfing is in my future it seems. Ah well, at least it’s progress.

  33. You can’t buy home grown tomatoes.

  34. Good. Three months isn’t enough, but still, it’s a start.


  35. Mmmm, tomato and mayo sounds really good right now.

    *remembers I have a pound of bacon in the fridge*

  36. I had a home grown tomato sammich yesterday. Of course it had bologna, ham, and cheese in it as well.

  37. So now that the left is starting to push the “We don’t need debates” line that we all knew was coming, the standard take seems to be that this will play poorly for Biden, because everyone will either see him avoiding the debates, or see how far gone he really is if he does debate. But what if that backfires? What if people see how bad Biden is and simply assume that he’ll be removed once elected, so they no longer worry about having a dementia-addled man in charge and instead assume that the VP will take over? The problem is that while the VP will be the real nominee, any attempt to focus on her will be brushed off because everyone in the media and on the left will engage in the convenient fiction that “she’s only the VP”. So you get another Obama, someone who is radical but is portrayed as a blank slate, against which you have Trump, whom everyone has an opinion about.

  38. I’ve been reading a lot of articles about that Alex and my one thought on how to combat it is to compile all the sources’ past statements about debates and their importance. Most, not all, will have past statements celebrating Hillary, Obama, Gore, Clinton, etc debate “zingers” and their pwning the GOP candidate.

  39. So of course having said that I hear from the rental 🙃

  40. The juxtapose tweet is usually effective to highlight the “That was then, this is now” nature of their thinking

  41. Yeah, I’m less confident that will have much of an impact.

  42. I hear you. It feels like an unstoppable force propelling Joe across the finish line but anything that points out how ludicrous no debates is has to at least put the thought into people’s minds. The number of undecided voters must be vanishingly small at this point.

  43. Scott can’t find a decent lumper to save his life. Everybody is straight out, no moving company can spare anybody for two hours, even the owners have been out working job sites. When he asked the warehouse manager at the regular place for help, the guy laughed at him. It’s craaaazy. The whole moving season was delayed and compressed by the covid scare. Usually by now it would be winding down but nope. And we’re not even movers! We’re shippers, people are just scrambling for any last resort to get things transported.

    So he’s got my nephew out on the road with him today. Even if the kid doesn’t work out, it would have been worth it just to be able to give the last lumper the bird. Fucking made Scott late, twice, on the very first two jobs he tried him on! And the second job was a VIP arrangement. Not a good look. Scott is very punctual and this made him insane.

    Every once in a while when I think about how I don’t have things all together how I’d like to be, we meet someone like that, who just floats through life fucking shit up all over the place without a care in the world. And I feel a little better about my brand of chaos.

  44. WHy lump when you were collecting $600 a week to do nothing?

  45. The horde of whored-out lazy motherfuckers are hoarding their money.

  46. I’m literally eating a tomato sandwich right now.

  47. Someone can check my math on that last comment, but I think I got it right.

  48. I had a turkey burger with a garden tomato on it. Does that count with you horde of whores?

  49. Yeah, I transitioned to a grilled burger with homemade pickles and garden tomato and a little brown mustard. How sweet life is.

    First ripe tomatoes in my garden *again* this year are Amish Paste. It’s a wonderful meaty tomato, good for fresh eating as well as sauce. Recommend. I’m saving seeds from the first plant to ripen fruit *and* the plant with the biggest fruits. Remind me this winter and I will share seeds with you.

    We’re getting the windy edge of the hurricane today. I was out there putting compost around the leeks and had to bail when the trees started bending toward me funny.

  50. I really liked the “health kick” roma cultivar that I used to grow. Paste tomatoes but they were solid enough to be fine in salads.

  51. Merv sent me this to read today…thought it was pretty good
    if it’s already been linked here, well
    please feel free to eat a bag of dicks, no charge!

  52. I’m not a vegan or vegetarian by any means, but I do love the Beyond Burger.
    Red meat is too heavy for me unless I’ve had a serious jits/krav workout (which I haven’t had since my shoulder injury, bleh) so I don’t enjoy it
    but man, a bacon Beyond Burger is freaking amazing

  53. I’m watching Trump’s interview on Axios:

    Reporter: You’re going down to 4000 troops in Afghanistan? That’s big news. When will that happen?

    What will the troop level be on election day?

    Trump: 4-5000 troops.

    Reporter: That’s nearly the same as when you took office, which was 8800.

    I can’t stand these people. They lie so often within moments that it’s sort of hard to believe.

  54. What kind of math is that reporter doing?

  55. Is there a Veggie Bag Of Dicks option on the menu?

    Beyond Dick. Beyond Wiener. Beyond Cock. And so on

  56. Reporters mostly do not understand the stories they report on. This is another reason they must politicize everything. They understand mean girl slapfights, and that’s about it.

  57. Is there a Veggie Bag Of Dicks option on the menu?

    no. It’s beef. Beef is what’s for dinner

  58. That was within seconds.

    Drawing down to 4000 was big news. And then it was the same as 8800.

  59. “I can’t believe it’s not Wangers!”

  60. If they could do math, they wouldn’t be journalists.

  61. That video is like straight out of a syfi movie

  62. In this country we don’t permit smoking at the gas pumps.

  63. Looks like what the bad guys wanted to do in Notre Dame.

  64. Dafuq caused that, LNG or something?

  65. Oh my God.

  66. Can’t tell what the Hell that was…lots of smaller explosions happening in the moments before the big one. Holy shit. One report in the Grauniad said that an official in Libya said there was a ship containing fireworks. lol, *eyes roll across the floor*

  67. I always knew unauthorized fireworks would wreak havoc one day. Only the government should be allowed to set those off

  68. The irony was that despite their warnings, the only part of little Achmed that his parents would eventually find were his fingers.

  69. Time to ban fireworks!

  70. The irony was that despite their warnings, the only part of little Achmed that his parents would eventually find were his fingers


  71. Achmed’s fingers never got to be Daddy’s fingers

  72. The little flashes in the beginning look like maybe small arms fire.

    This is going to be interesting.

  73. Achmed’s fingers never got to be Daddy’s fingers
    I was trying sooo hard to figure out how to work that in and I failed.
    You’re a better man than I

  74. tornado watch for my area


    Dear New Mexico,

    I had hoped we established an understanding in our last correspondence…

  75. Dear Connecticut,

    You don’t leave us. No one leaves us…

  76. Dayum, helluva blast.

  77. Yeah it looked like a shitload of small arms ammo was cooking off and then the big boys went. I’m guessing an Iranian cruise ship full of ammo and bombs. Iranians have been having problems with other unintended splodey lately.

  78. Now that was a hella big boomba. Looks like the Beruit port is gonna be closed for a while. Looking forward to the “after” pics.

  79. I bet Killary was involved in that blast.

  80. Has anyone seen Tank Abrams?

  81. Going to bet that was an arms shipment…

  82. Abrams is with Hunter and they’re laying low, just biding their time

  83. You sure she isn’t in Lebanon and ate the spicy goat tacos?


  84. As I asked yesterday, what’s wrong with gas?

  85. Fml
    I’d rather have exploded in a freak Beirut fireworks accident….

    Welcome back! Last year, our district began a process of self-reflection about race and equity in our district. A small cohort of teachers and administrators went through a series of online and face-to-face workshops about race, implicit bias, and culturally relevant pedagogy. EPOCH Education served as our partner in this work.

    This year, we are expanding our work around these topics to include all staff. To start the school year, EPOCH is leading a two-part workshop called Let’s Talk About Race. This workshop is designed to open up the conversation and will push your thinking about race in our lives.

    School closures complicate the delivery of professional learning, especially on a topic like this. However, we felt it was essential to continue this work and bring it to all staff.

    The EPOCH Let’s Talk About Race training has two parts.
    An online module that takes about two hours
    A 90 minute live Zoom discussion and debrief

  86. Speaking of gas, where is that whore, Jay?

  87. I suggest a different training called Let’s Talk About Firing All Your Useless Asses. And also Let’s Talk About Prosecuting All Of You For Fraud.

    Just ignore the classes on marksmanship, excavation, and responsible power tool use going on concurrently.

  88. https://tinyurl.com/yyg4w3l3

  89. just count the fingers when the kid is born, pepe

  90. Pups?


  91. I’m busier than a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs

    plus I’m ignoring you whores

  92. I have a counter proposal, Let’s Talk About your Mom.

  93. Tell them that Zoom is a Chinese honeypot application that the US government won’t use. Insist on secure communications.

    Repeat ad nauseum with whatever they pick next.

  94. plus I’m ignoring you whores

    We thought maybe you were with Mare. Both of you have been incommunicado for days.

  95. The CGI on the explosion video is a bit over the top.

  96. I was at my brother’s house, for my niece’s graduation party.

    Watched my nephew eat 6 kona ice (think snow cones, but a little bigger, in a cup) then run around the house a few times. Hilarious.

  97. I wonder if Mare was able to go to Maui and visit her sister?

  98. https://tinyurl.com/yyg4w3l3

    Used to sing this one when I was in the SCA.

  99. That’s where I figured Mare disappeared to

  100. Anyone else find it eerie that the big Beirut boom happens during the anniversary week of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

  101. The D🐀🐀 in the House watered down a bill to defund the Iranian/Hezbollah front running the Lebanese Military. Lots of mysterious things going Boom in Iran as well.

  102. Teachers have been putting Clorox Wipes on the school lists for years. Between Teachers wanting to buy extra hand sanitizer and assholes screaming at me about sending their kids to school without wipes, I am over this 💩. It’s ramping up and Gov Wuhan won’t be letting the rat bastards go to school until after Labor Day, anyway.

  103. Trying to talk Mrs. Pupster into a family vacation for the holidays, stop by Vegas to see her dad, then drive to Utah to see my folks and sister’s family. She’s agin it. Worried about the flu and stuff.

  104. Used to sing this one when I was in the SCA.

    Wait, you were a sword-carrying alcoholic?

  105. CoAlex, yes, long enough I got an Award of Arms.

  106. I would have stayed in it after college, except the group here was a bunch of snots, and it wasn’t fun anymore.

  107. I can understand that. The impression I’ve gotten from friends who were/are involved is that there’s a high danger of groups devolving into SJW insanity and general douchebaggery and petty politics.

  108. I was broke and didn’t have the money to make a new costume/ garb for every event, and the mean girls let me know that wearing the same old dress was declasse.

  109. And the worst part was that I was helping out at an event, and the bitches weren’t doing jack shit. Nice way to treat your volunteers.

    I still sing those songs, and even the kids will sing Irish drinking songs with me.

  110. I haven’t been able to find a Clorox wipe since…well, March.
    Wouldn’t it be ironic if everyone at the Clorox factor got covid and they shut all their plants down?
    cuz like

  111. Everybody SING!

    Gun parts in my mail box makes me happpeeee
    Gun parts in my mail box makes me smiiiiiile

    Not gun parts but my 3 (count em, one, two, three) new fit just right gun cases arrived today. Did I mention they fit just right?

  112. I’m in California, I don’t know that tune…but maybe if you hum a few bars?

  113. Ever consider getting a gallon of bleach and some white wash clothes? Maybe some ziplock bags? I’m just wondering exactly what people did before wipes? Prolly nothing. They prolly died filthy germ ridden deaths.

  114. Trump says Beruit was a bomb of some sort. That’s what his people are telling him.

  115. Ever consider getting a gallon of bleach and some white wash clothes? Maybe some ziplock bags?


  116. There was a warehouse with almost 3000 tons of ammonium nitrate that had been sitting there since 2013 – some sort of legal issue.

    So yeah, a “bomb” of sorts, just not a deliberately set one.

  117. Clorox is dependent on ingredients/stuff from Wuhan for their wipes.No problem getting Clorox. DIY on line to make your own spray and wipes.

  118. For me, I’m trying to get it for customers when I shop for Instacart.
    I wonder how they’d feel if I brought some bleach rags in ziplock bags.
    I’m like what? Get over it. This works.

  119. The thought of doing that actually makes me giggle a little

  120. It was 2,700 TONS(!) of ammonium nitrate that had been sitting in a warehouse for six years. The warehouse was next to the fireworks factory that caught on fire.
    There were a dozen, or so, firefighters working the fire. They are… gone.

  121. There was a warehouse with almost 3000 tons of ammonium nitrate that had been sitting there since 2013 – some sort of legal issue.

    We have a similar issue with control rods in nuke plants.

  122. Wild weather today. Wild.

    Trees down all over the place.

    I was in Bloomfield when the emergency broadcast system interrupted and said” suspected tornado in Hartford heading north, should hit Bloomfield by 3:10.

    It was 3:05, then my phone started beeping and it said SEEK SHELTER NOW!

    I got the hell out of Bloomfield.

  123. 1st power outage with a generator.

    Pretty nice.

  124. **sings with Teeroy**

    No gun parts in my mailbox, but it has a good beat, and you can dance to it.

  125. Going down to 54° tonight. Fuck shit.

  126. Leaving all my windows open. Finally a cool night.

  127. We can’t even get wipes for Curbside or Pick Up. Instacart Lady…👋🏻

  128. Dan likes Cold Salads. Blah blah blah. Last salad he tried, was a roasted potato salad. Roasted potatoes really make a great tater salad. He found a dill pickle salad. We’ve had it with both pasta and potatoes. I’m not allergic to fresh tomatoes, but they raise welts on my tongue and in my mouth. Low acid Bell tomatoes are ok. I can’t Roma. I can’t vine. I can’t Beefsteak. Allergic to Mayo. When they make BLTs at work, I BBB.

  129. I raised welts on your mom’s tongue.

  130. 🤣🤣🤣 my mom is getting torched on FB by my TAS Friends. A few weeks ago, it was my Moron Friends. I love the Horde.

  131. I’m not going to TMI and citric acid in semen.

  132. https://tinyurl.com/y3v4w4rb

  133. I am going to be a horrible neighbor and leave the generator on all night.

    Noise to the North is minimal.

    Noise to the South is moderate, but that is the guy who runs heavy equipment at 7 AM.

  134. Someone on Faceplant pointed out it’s SCOAMF’s birthday and conjectured about the timing of the blast and what else might have been at the port.

  135. *orders citric acid wipes off the Instacart*

  136. Dan doesn’t read. Only Crais. Hates my hoarding. We’re leaving NM. Traveling light. Condo rules and Albuquerque limit garage sales. Cousin that bought his parents house are letting us have a garage sale. I have cousins standing in line for our Christmas ornaments and decor. No Target date. Just soon. Post MA.

  137. It was 2,700 TONS(!) of ammonium nitrate that had been sitting in a warehouse for six years. The warehouse was next to the fireworks factory that caught on fire.

    That sounds like something out of a Far Side cartoon.

  138. Initial interview went well. They want to do another video conference with the two principals next Tuesday. I have a telephone interview tomorrow for the DC job. Pray for oso.

  139. 🙏🏻For🐻

  140. We lost power here around 6PM and after I woke from a 2-1/2 hour nap it was back on. The outage left me stranded in the electric powered recliner. Not really but I was tired and felt like God was sanctioning a nap

  141. We lost power Friday night. My back and knee never felt better. AC is great. Muscles stay tight.

  142. Not really but I was tired and felt like God was sanctioning a nap

    You must obey

  143. A warehouse full of explosives in a Third World nation is indistinguishable from a bomb. Or magic of sorts. “Hey Achmed? I guess Hussein was a magician after all, he made the warehouse disappear…and half the port…”

  144. Who puts a fireworks factory next to a warehouse containing 2700 tons of explosive material?

  145. Scott, that weather sounds terrifying….and kind of exciting!! I really wish actually having weather when I lived in Jacksonville…I mean, other than the fact that it seemed to rain EVERY time it was time to get the kids

    *fingers crossed Alex!!!*

  146. After the Goya Foods dust up a few weeks ago I signed up for Goya emails and followed their twitter account as a nearly meaningless gesture of support. They send about one email a week that I usually skim and delete. When I did that just now I realized their CEO did the right thing by telling the wokesters to piss up a rope. Since Goya was accused of hate crimes and prostration before the mob demanded there have been countless other targets and outrages and Goya has been all but forgotten.

    *eats frijoles, gets gas, explodes*

  147. oh that’s wild…you’re right. Totally forgot about Goya and everyone else did too.
    Now if only everyone else would be so brave as to tell them to piss up a rope

  148. What does that even mean?

  149. New (to me) Nikon D500 arriving tomorrow. It’s better than gun parts in my mailbox. And I love gun parts in my mailbox.

  150. Which part? This entire post or a specific comment?

  151. Boy, if this isn’t a perfect secret Santa gift…. NSFW


  152. I would say second definition though Jimbruh

  153. Boy, if this isn’t a perfect secret Santa gift…. NSFW

    The perfect party favor, THE best stocking stuffer! Happy Birthday Grandma!

  154. Biden will announce Kamala as his veep pick by taking a hit off the Schlong Bong

  155. Except it will be Kamala who takes a hit off the Schlong Bong.

  156. On national television.

  157. Peej,
    Natural Selection…
    It would be increased if we took the warning labels off of power tools, ladders, electrical panels, toasters, and hair dryers…
    What with OSHA, regulations, cancer warnings, warning labels, all these low IQ drones would be ‘selected out’, but we do all these protective things to keep them alive. Why? They pollute the gene pool with other low IQ offspring.
    Let them ‘self select’…

  158. Found out last night that Rebecca’s kindergarten teacher succumbed to pancreatic cancer. She was wonderful with all of the Downs kids she taught over the years.

    She was younger than both Paul and me.

  159. Remarkable young woman:


  160. Deceiving everybody, Randall prospered.

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