Why Don’t We Get Drunk, and Meme

Sorry scott!

151 Comments

  1. Boone’s Farm. HA!!

  2. Jay, I enjoyed this poat and have postponed killing you…for now.

  3. Sir Prise was a sleeper. Made me laugh.

  4. Great memes MJ! I do enjoy your long form writing better though

  5. It has been hotter than the hinges of Hades around here for the last few days. Last night Paula hit the wrong button on the AC (she claims she didn’t and I’m the interest of perpetual marital bliss I agreed with her delusional thinking). I woke up around midnight and felt like I was in the circle of Hell where the sinners are drowned in the collective ball sweat of humanity. I got up and took a whizz and that’s when I realized it was cooler in the bathroom than our bedroom. After turning the light on I discovered our room was 84 degrees. Put the real AC on and the room was cool by morning. Holy Hannah!

  6. I’m = in

    Stupid autodictator fucks that up all the time for me

  7. At 84 degrees I would have just laid down and died.

  8. We’re supposed to get Biden’s pick for President this week.

    I’m still betting on Keisha. She’s my hometown pick.

  9. wakey wakey

  10. I’ve been trying to keep the air off so I stay heat-adapted for the yard work, but it’s been 90+ and that’s ridiculous for MI.

  11. I was able to get Conecuh sausage last night! Had some for breakfast this morning. Oh, how I’d missed it…

  12. Doesn’t Kei$ha spell it with a dollar sign?

  13. No, that’s the weird white rap chick occultist that my wife likes.

  14. Who is the other Keisha?

  15. She be port o reckon.

    No wait. That be cardi b.

  16. Ke$ha, Mare. She’s grungy and “sings” about being a party-obsessed burnout while heavily autotuned. My wife is convinced that it’s ironic and is actually just a character for the sake of album sales.

  17. In a normal year we have 17 days above 90 degrees.

    Today will be our 39th.

  18. global warming, scott. stop burning tires

  19. your wife is probably right, leon

  20. Likely, and I’m also pretty sure she was casting couched into the role and it left her more than a little effed up.

  21. mare laughed at a pun. she’s never going to live this down

  22. black leather couches will do that to you

  23. Ke$ha, Mare. She’s grungy and “sings” about being a party-obsessed burnout while heavily autotuned. My wife is convinced that it’s ironic and is actually just a character for the sake of album sales.

    She secretly leaves her concerts, puts on a chapel veil, and attends the local latin mass?

  24. First

  25. No the OTHER keisha?

  26. Not that much of a character, just that it’s not really her, in the same way that Dom Mazzetti isn’t a real guy, just a persona the comedian uses to tell a certain kind of joke.

  27. Sure, ruin my fantasies…

  28. IIRC, Kei$ha did have actual allegations at one point, not that I recall what came of it, given I don’t GAF about most pop shit.

  29. My buzz is dead, so I have to kill any others I see.

  30. I recall that as well, Tim, pretty sure the record company settled out of court and she moved on under a gag order on the details.

  31. Keisha is one of those names that wypipo look at each other, roll their eyes, and nod with a smirk.

  32. “We named our daughter after a fancy-sounding egg dish.”

  33. Quiche?

    Wypipo is the best spelling of cracker ass cracker I’ve ever seen.

  34. There’s too much stray voltage going on.

    Barr, Facebook censorship, HCQ, masks, Portland.

    Focus on Biden. At least it would be funny as hell.

  35. Good Morning shmoopies.

    Time to plant your Autumn crops, people, Get those lettuces, turnips, bok choi, and spinach started. Chop, chop.

  36. Oh, and radishes. Gotta have some nice daikon roots or little pink radishes for your salads.

  37. I sow them in flats and put the flats in the shade under the potting bench to germinate. It’s too beastly hot and dry to leave them out in the sun right now.

    No worries, Autumn is coming soon now. Be feeling noticeably autumnal at night in about three weeks.

  38. Re, the lead video:

    True story. When I was in HS there were dances sponsored by one club or another once or twice a week during the school year. At one dance, a girl who really liked me and whom I should’ve liked back if I wasn’t so fucking stupid, asked me to go request “Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” by the Commodores so we could slow dance together. I did, but the DJ told me he had other request to deal with first and my song would come up after the next three. I went back and gave the sitrep and we sat and waited through three headbanger pieces for Mr. Richey to start crooning. After three songs, the fourth one started playing and it was “Let’s Get Drunk and Screw”. She thought I did it on purpose to humiliate her and I couldn’t convince her otherwise. Good times. Didn’t find $20 that night.

  39. Wypipo is a good one, I think I’ve seen it before but just glossed over the meaning

    The stray voltage is designed to make you look anywhere BUT Joe

  40. Radio report said she was the first recorded shark death in Maine

    https://www.bostonherald.com/2020/07/27/woman-dies-after-apparent-shark-attack-in-maine/

    Too bad that’s her legacy

  41. I read that this morning. Sad.

    Sharks are asshoe.

  42. Sharks gotta eat too.

  43. Sharks think we’re a passing fad, and clothed swimmers are still a new thing to them.

  44. Great white sharks are born alive, one at a time. They conceive in litters of 6-7 and the one that’s born is the one that ate the rest. Not absorbed like in some human twins. Ate.

  45. Sharks were there first. And they’ll be there long after we’re gone.

    Respect the wild.

  46. Salad is what dinner eats

  47. Oh look, now even the project author says The 1619 project is bullshit, and made up

  48. Huh. I wasn’t aware “severe depression / anxiety” counted as a disability for legal purposes until the last several apps I put in through job sites. Interesting. Hope honesty isn’t…oh hell, I know it’s probably screwing me.

  49. Honesty is a social construct forced on the world by White Patriarchy.

  50. No worries, Autumn is coming soon now. Be feeling noticeably autumnal at night in about three weeks.

    When I grow up, I’m going to live where there’s fall. I want to experience that.

  51. Ugh, no rooster til Wednesday. How did they just up and not know where it is?
    don’t answer, that was rhetorical

  52. When I grow up, I’m going to live where there’s fall. I want to experience that.

    You’re a white woman; just wear Ugg boots and leggings, put cinnamon and nutmeg on everything, and mutilate a squash.

  53. You’re a white woman; just wear Ugg boots and leggings, put cinnamon and nutmeg on everything, and mutilate a squash.

    but ugg boots and leggings suck when it’s in the triple digits outside
    as it will be this weekend Lord help me, it’s like living in Arizona again.

    ooooh but gimme dat pumpkin spice. I’m a total basic white bitch

  54. Dog named Shark is dad joke #1285.

  55. I should turn off the news. Nadler is being a total piece of shit in this hearing. I didn’t think it was possible to despise that turd any more than I already did.

  56. The story is already written on this hearing Roamy. Every Democrat questioner will be portrayed as speaking truth to power while they expose Barr illegally protecting Trump and every Republican questioner will be portrayed as running interference for the illegal activity. Nothing will come of it except some choice soundbites for a few news cycles and maybe a campaign commercial or two and it will be forgotten by the Sunday morning news shows.

    And no one will be looking at Biden

  57. I looked at Leon’s shark thing –

    “The great white shark is ovoviviparous, which means that the shark grows in an egg, which is then hatched inside the mother. Shortly thereafter, the shark pup is born. While in the womb, great white shark embryos feast on unfertilized eggs, a practice known as oophagy. It doesn’t appear that they eat the fertilized eggs, as a few other species of shark has been known to do”

  58. I have been mize-ild.

  59. mize-ild?

  60. Nadler is such a joke. That video of him denying there is any antifa violence occurring right now. he should crawl into a hole.

  61. That’s how Debbie Wassername-Schultz mispronounced “misled” from her teleprompter during an “interview”, Alex.

  62. Haha, Andy Biggs from AZ just dropped a “bless your heart” on Nadler in the hearing.

  63. Democrats sure like to pontificate about the law to the AG, don’t they?

  64. Wow, Ciccilline from RI is playing videos of crowds not in Portland, not at night, as examples of peaceful protests. Yeah, now show at night.

  65. I watched a few mins of the Barr thing.

    It’s so silly. The senators just say, ‘my time is short’ and use the whole time to make a speech. Mostly lies.

    And then they say, ‘do you have an answer?’

    And then they talk more. Everything is a joke.

  66. democrats are so unpleasant.

    Then again, republicans are too, when the tables are turned.

  67. Republicans show up and barely care or know what they’re talking about.

    Democrats show up and barely care but their staffers are way better. They go for the big lie over and over again and the senators read whatever is on the cards.

  68. It is currently 79° outside.

    In Fort Worth.

    In July.

  69. Hahaha, Valerie Jarrett interview

    https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2020/07/28/boom-maria-bartiromo-goes-off-while-valerie-jarrett-squirms-avoids-answering-questions-on-new-evidence-around-steele-dossier-watch/

    Best comment: Is she still designing uniforms for The Incredibles?

  70. Another day-long display of the idiocy that makes up the democratic party. Can they be more boring, predictable, pathetic, stupid, or out of their league?

    No.

    Barr: I’ll follow the law
    Stanton: That answer is disappointing.

    WHAT?

  71. Biden answered questions from reporters? hope he didn’t get hit with a softball!

  72. YES OR NO, ATTORNEY MARE!

  73. good god this guy rambles all over the place. He has his reporters scripted infront of him

  74. Holy shit, Biden is talking about distributing a vaccine to all Americans?

    Fuck that.

  75. Almost all of the eastern seaboard GWS activity is Massachusetts and north to Canada. MA had to close a beach on one of the Capes today until 1…seal activity on beach. It brings the GWS closer to shore. I think 3 of the tagged OCEARCH sharks are chilling off the Maine coast.

  76. I want to do this.

  77. someone please tell me what is wrong with this? Like, wtf? hahahaha

  78. Nadler has lost his mind.

  79. Alex, I enjoyed watching that video. She is a lovely lady with a lovely voice and good skills editing and using a drone. I have lots of questions though. At the end when she says it elevated her and she’s a better person, not sure about that but I appreciated her admitting her fear because I would have it for sure if I was alone. In a group it would be wonderful.

    Mongolia (certainly that part) is very beautiful.

  80. Wait, Nadler wasn’t wearing HIS mask. What am I missing here?

  81. She does tend towards the upper-middle-class white girl attitude of “this is so enlightening/empowering/blahblahblah” but the views are beautiful, and she gets props for having the guts to do that trip. I’ve thought for years that it would be interesting to do something like that, but never had the time or money. I need to put it on my list of things to accomplish before I turn 40.

  82. Mentally ill.

  83. 2 hours on a horse and I’m done with it for a long time. No offence Mare.

  84. Wait, Nadler wasn’t wearing HIS mask

    yes, exactly that WTF?

  85. 2 hours on a horse and I’m done with it for a long time. No offence Mare.
    yep, saddle sore
    Mare might be comfy though, I dunno. She might bounce less if you ask her real nice

  86. I have so much work lined up.

    Every moving company is overbooked and I can’t find help anywhere.

    Been stressing for a week.

    I turned to Craigslist and 20 minutes later I’ve got a new lumper.

    Sharp, well spoken, and polite.

    Hopefully not an ax murderer.

  87. Riding horses isn’t my thing either, Pupster. Too dangerous unless it’s all their is.

  88. With all due respect (sincerely) to any Hostage dealing with mental illness or having a loved one who is on the brink, what is going on in this Country?

    Is this a way for the mentally unstable to get the attention that they crave? Since they don’t get their way politically (Trump being elected) have they pushed themselves over the edge? Are the meds people are taking breaking down their brains and hold on reality? Too much alcohol, pot, other drugs diminishing their impulse control? What?

    I cannot get over all the crazy.

  89. Here’s a fun one…you know that Dr. Immanuel from the Hydroxycut video posted the other day?
    Supposedly she’s said things like
    sexual visitations by demons and alien DNA are at the root of Americans’ common health concerns.
    and she may, but there’s not one single freaking article that actually links her saying…why? Why can’t they link it? I want actually see her say that. I don’t want to see purportedly

    I also want to know WHY DON’T DEMONS VISIT ME?!?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

  90. Their views are being reinforced by the MFM and the “Influencers” on Social Media. Our religious beliefs are being undermined daily. The devil is in the details.

  91. I’ve never seen that insane woman on TV yelling and emoting about pedophiles. You know, because she’s a mom and Children’s Lives Matter™

  92. Just got back from the store, with Mr. B.. Woman behind me was getting vicious with her what looked to be, six year old, because the six year old kept playing with her mask. o_O

    Looked up and a woman, coming in the door, had her baby – no older than 15 months, in a mask.

    WTFuckity fuck people, I thought those 12 and under didn’t have to wear masks?

  93. They are “Othering” her so that her medical findings don’t count. I view her much like Dr Carson and Trump. She didn’t become “Racist” until she supported Trump/Zelenkov suggested treatment. Trump and Carson didn’t become Rayciss until they publicly became Republicans. Video of some rando white guy screaming at her. Basically, Jim Crow Joe with the “You ain’t black”.

  94. Every moving company is overbooked and I can’t find help anywhere.
    So is everyone leaving CT en masse?

  95. Beasn, Mask Nazis are just Militirized Karen’s. There is no science. Just control and fear.

  96. We have a generation (really about two generations) who’ve been raised to never experience failure. I’m not just talking about participation trophies, but the kids who’s entire lives were carefully scheduled and curated to get into “good” schools, good jobs, etc. They don’t know how to deal with adversity, and have been told their entire lives that everything they do is wonderful. Combine that with a belief that they are owed a secure job which is “fulfilling,” and the poison of social media which gives the illusion that everyone is better off than they are, and you have a toxic mixture of insecurity, narcissism, incompetence, and shallowness.

  97. WTFuckity fuck people, I thought those 12 and under didn’t have to wear masks?

    Ages two and up here

  98. One the bright side, my nephew and his wife are expecting their second child in February!! WoOT!! Their first one will be a year old next month.

    My MIL, who was in a sour mood, didn’t say anything as we facetimed with nephew. She came up the stairs last night, at midnight again, because she said we were fighting really loud and she was worried the neighbors would hear. Said she woke up and heard us going at it, clear as day. Umm, everyone was in bed by 10 pm. And she gets stubborn/angry when we say ‘didn’t happen’.

    She has a history of depression and was VERY dependent upon Pops. He’s gone and all that is on television is bullshit BLM and riots. That and the isolation is really getting to her.

  99. WTFuckity fuck people, I thought those 12 and under didn’t have to wear masks?

    The IN order and the order for the county our former catholic school is in both exclude children under 8.

    The school says the preschoolers will wear them most of the day.

    LOLGFY and tell the bishop to find his balls.

  100. >>>you know that Dr. Immanuel from the Hydroxycut video posted the other day?

    Someone wondered yesterday about where she came from…Cameroon. She needs to go Covington on DailyBeast’s ass.

  101. WTF preschoolers? I’m guessing they’ve never been around preschoolers. SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN DON’T GET CHYNABOLA, you dumfucks.

  102. My MIL, who was in a sour mood, didn’t say anything as we facetimed with nephew. She came up the stairs last night, at midnight again, because she said we were fighting really loud and she was worried the neighbors would hear. Said she woke up and heard us going at it, clear as day. Umm, everyone was in bed by 10 pm. And she gets stubborn/angry when we say ‘didn’t happen’.

    Could it have been demons having sex with someone in your household?
    is that why they’re not at MY house?
    hhhhmmmmm?

  103. Cameroon makes me laugh. Trading Places was a funny movie.

  104. The evil that has been perpetrated on Africa by the vaccine crowd, is evil. Pretty sure it was French scientists that were ready to start Wuhan vaccine studies in Africa.

  105. I was singing 🎤 I am 16, going on 17, to MA. Dan decided to make it racial by bringing up Quinceaneras. I don’t have the “Ene”. Then he got personal and started naming names. Tom Hanks, wasn’t one of them.

  106. I don’t have the “Ene”.
    If you don’t have the ene, your entire argument is invalid.

  107. Comment by beasn on July 28, 2020 6:11 pm
    Said she woke up and heard us going at it, clear as day.

    ===========

    Tell her you were just having vigorous kinky sex…….

  108. Quinceaneras? Those are the celebrations a Messican girl has a year before her baby shower, right?

  109. Tell her you were just having vigorous kinky sex…….

    Her MIL is German, she’ll understand.

  110. Those are the celebrations a Messican girl has a year before her baby shower, right?

    ahahahaha

  111. I’m dying ahahaha STILL

  112. I think one of the biggest contributors to all the insanity is a lack of religion on the part of the Lefties. It’s left a hole in their lives that they are unconsciously trying to fill with “causes”. Saving the planet gives them some amount of self worth.

  113. If you’re lucky. Mamacita is usually between 13 and 15. Trying to remember the comedian that would roast the roast. Never got a dinner. Never got a quinceanera is the new “Never got a dinner”.

  114. Thought of CoAlex when I saw a meme about online dating….

    “When she says she has a coke bottle figure, then you see her and realize it’s a 3 liter bottle….”

  115. I agree with the skunk. I saw this roll out in “Hispanic Catholic NM”.

  116. WHY DON’T DEMONS VISIT ME?!?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

    https://tinyurl.com/y3zfrgp8

  117. WHY DON’T DEMONS VISIT ME?!?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

    =============

    Have you ever considered that you may be the demon?

  118. good conversation on race, Bret Weinstein (long, but good)

  119. True Story. I didn’t even know what Gnocchi was, until I watched Unbroken. I thought Dan was making Gnocchi lasagna last night. It was pierogi. It was awesome. Now, I want Gnocchi lasagna.

  120. Some, I saw it in El Paso.

  121. 2 hours on a horse and I’m done with it for a long time.

    Hotspur rode your mom for 2 hours, and I didn’t hear him complaining.

  122. I think one of the biggest contributors to all the insanity is a lack of religion on the part of the Lefties.
    Meh, Merv was raised with zero religion…period.
    Actually, I take that back…his parents were scientologists when he was growing up, but they got out before they wouldn’t let you out.
    The rest of his life was zero religion. None, nada, zero, zilch. He is probably one of THE kindest humans I know on this planet.
    Not a lefty

  123. Have you ever considered that you may be the demon?

    You’re just jealous of my huge……….rooster showing up tomorrow

  124. “When she says she has a coke bottle figure, then you see her and realize it’s a 3 liter bottle….”

    ahahaha exactly what I experienced with online dating…it’s awful

  125. Hotspur rode your mom for 2 hours, and I didn’t hear him complaining.

    ooooh bringing out the sass! Someone is feeling better!

  126. We got Trampolines in today. Me to Cows “Do you know what they called Trampolines before? CoWs: Oso: Your Mom. 🤣🤣🤣

  127. Took me a minute to realize you weren’t actually talking to cows
    it’s much funnier when I know you’re talking to humans
    Kinda, I dont’ know. cows would be funny too
    MOOOO

  128. Online “social” is inferior.
    Online dating is inferior.
    Online job hunting is inferior.
    It’s almost like the real world is better because there’s something there to back it up.

  129. It’s almost like the real world is better because there’s something there to back it up.

    The graphics suck though

  130. That reminds me I have to send another email to the HR gals to see if there’s been any movement on my job applications.

  131. For the record, I’m going to pass on any further demon visitations. I’ve got my own already.

  132. Dating beyond 30 is the worst.

    I got lucky, sounds like PJM did too.

  133. Merv, is awesome. I adore his interactions with Glarvin. With Maddie. I H8 Gavin and Grisham. I wanted my SoCal Inlandia vacay.

  134. Comment by pajama momma on July 28, 2020 7:53 pm

    Meh, Merv was raised with zero religion…period.

    =======

    Just because you aren’t religious, doesn’t mean you’re a lefty. I just think many of the Lefties are looking for meaning in life. I’m not religious.

  135. Merv is totes HHD. Roamy should do a little research.

  136. I don’t mean to objectify the guy that Peej totes objectifies. He’s SQUEEEEEE

  137. I got lucky, sounds like PJM did too.

    luck nothing, I stalked this guy for 3 years til he gave in and decided it’d be easier than getting a restraining order…..and I went through the online dating. oooh the nightmares…the..nightmares. For those poor men that met up with me. Poor guys

    I H8 Gavin
    we all do, he’s the baby of the family, they’re the worst.

    I don’t mean to objectify the guy that Peej totes objectifies. He’s SQUEEEEEE

    have at it…I totally do.

    Just because you aren’t religious, doesn’t mean you’re a lefty. I just think many of the Lefties are looking for meaning in life. I’m not religious.
    Totally fair point. Everyone needs a cause..I guess.

  138. I was talking Newsome, not Glarvin.

  139. Your kids are pretty awesome.

  140. There must be something in the H2 water that the kids are ok

  141. My immediate boss was abandoned by his mom. Doesn’t know his dad. Raised by his grandmother. Gay. I had to Osoplain the trampoline joke. He couldn’t stop laughing.

  142. Is your co-worker gay or his grandmother?

  143. ooh my friend on fb just pm’d me this
    “My president Donald trump maga group, 4 years old, 5k members, deleted today for posting that doctor video
    Just disappeared”

    He said it’s not even banned, the group has been entirely deleted. That’s some scary shit right there

  144. The plague is all they have. It must go on. Imgur is probably doing the same thing but I’m yet to hear of it.

  145. PJ @ 10:31 or whatever.

    I shared a post on facecunt the other day from Mike Rowe of dirty jobs and most dangerous catch. After 48 hours it had zero comments and zero likes. No question but what those Northern California cunts ghosted it. I’m prolly finda cancel all that shit.

  146. I shared a post on facecunt

    wait….are we friends on FB? I’m gonna feel like a real jerk if we are hahaha

  147. Get off Faceborg. Create email lists again and email people that stuff. Save it on your computer so it can’t be disappeared at the source.

    When they start to erase shit off email, create motherfucking USPS newsletters again and pay for postage.

    When they mess with the US Mail, buy more ammo. (actually this is a constant)

  148. So, our new AC units are in, but they are making the house REALLY humid. Which makes it not as cold as the temperature that it is set on.

    Have a call in to the guys who installed them. They will be here either tomorrow or Thursday.

    Can’t remember if they made the units larger capacity – which, ironically, can apparently lead to higher humidity levels. Who knew?

  149. Dueling echoes resounded pleasantly.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS