Meme Tarzan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

209 Comments

  1. I pissed on a midget for this?

  2. I’ve had a fng with me all week. Young guy, 3 tours over with 82nd Airborne Brigade Combat Teams. Comes home joins Springfield ( our shithole State Capitol) police. 2yrs and says “fuck this shit”.
    ——–
    I just hired a 2 man landscaping crew for a bunch of projects around the yard and up at camp. They’re both cops, young men in their 30’s is my guess. While it’s not as bad around here as it is elsewhere I think these guys see the writing on the wall and are making their escape plan.

  3. Midget Pisser Solutions

  4. I actually say, “Oh, no, you’re fine!” all the time.

    Cart in the middle of the aisle: “Am I in your way?”

    Mare: “Oh, no, you’re fine!.”

  5. Turtles who like to party and now don’t have straws….hhhahaahahahaha

  6. Thanks, Pups, Saturday is “happy laugh fun time morning day.”
    That was also an excellent “gentleman’s” club in Thailand.

  7. I actually miss xbradtc shaving his balls for this.

  8. “And the lady will have the Admiral’s Feast … extra biscuits”

  9. I wonder what store has a boxed house wine and decided to pair it with Cheeze-its?

    I had to look at it three times to get what I was looking at. I thought someone just placed them next to each other.

  10. Ashamed to admit that I don’t get the mountain lion one

  11. Some folks say “pusspusspuss” instead of “here kittykittykitty” when attempting to call a cat.

  12. I saw that mountain lion pic earlier in the week and I have to say, that would be a nightmare to actually see while hiking. That’s a NOPE for me. They can leap about 40 feet.

  13. Fine set o’ memes you got there

  14. Yeah, I imagine more people are seen by mountain lions than the other way around.

  15. I finally set up an account at Sam’s Club after being a 20+ year member and tried setting up an order. About half the stuff was in store and the other half had to be shipped. Unfortunately when I hit enter up popped the home address of the office manager in my first practice. A business membership was one of the perks we had for the staff. I canceled the whole thing and changed the address to mine but gave up on the process. Some other time I guess

  16. I wonder what store has a boxed house wine and decided to pair it with Cheeze-its?

    ======

    The tag on the shelf looks suspiciously like ones that I see at Krogers.

    What? Never heard of cheese and wine? This is just a boxed set!

  17. Cheezeits are awful. Have some dignity and make some mac & cheese.

  18. Gonna hakuna my tatas today.

  19. All I know is I have donated see several gallons of blood throughout my life and I’m not sure how I feel about that right now.

    But holy shit the candle… That is gonna be my new phone wall paper, I’m thinking.

    I love Saturday mornings.

  20. Neighbor found an abandoned kitten and asked for help re-homing it since she actually lives about 2 hours south until they can find a buyer for their horse business down there.

    So there’s a kitten. For now. We have some folks who might want it. Possum wants to keep it but keeps demonstrating that she can’t be trusted alone with it. Just had to tell her that shutting kittens in boxes is mean.

  21. And of course this happened on the same weekend as we’re watching my sister’s dog.

  22. wakey

  23. Comment by Jimbro on July 25, 2020 7:50 am
    Yeah, I imagine more people are seen by mountain lions than the other way around.

    ——–

    Absolutely. They stalk you. It happened to some friends.

  24. I had an encounter with a mtn lion while standing a perimeter post on a Beverly Hills estate at 0300. Fucking thing growled at me. Brought firearm up and put flashlight on and it moved downhill. At the bottom of the hill a little yappy dog was in residence, heard yappy dog begin to bark and then the barking was abruptly silenced. Never heard yappy dog again.

  25. The difference between cats and mountain lions is a combo of 5000 years of voluntary association and an order of magnitude of mass.

  26. For anyone on twitter who wants to enjoy a fake controversy AND ogle women doctors wearing bikinis, check out #MedBikini.

    For the most part I try to remain detached while viewing twitter. I follow mainly conservatives along with a few funny animal accounts so it’s usually easy. Last night I think Ace linked a video of a guy walking up to a bunch of bike protestors blocking traffic and smashing a couple in the face before walking off. It was from a BLM supporter account and rather than chuckling and clicking away I started reading the follow up tweets. Big mistake. One of them with the hashtag #DefundSPD had commented that she hoped someone followed this guy and he was arrested. My mistake was replying “Arrested by who exactly?”. Her reply was simple and idiotic “SPD”. I thought about responding but thought that intelligent people could figure out the irony and clicked it off.

  27. In days of darkness I would occasionally browse r/gonewild. Shocking % of the wimmens were semi-clad in hospital scrubs.

  28. I thought the wildness of nurses was well known.

  29. I assumed that was a myth, like the amount of tail one gets while fixing sinks or delivering pizza.

  30. A lot of the hospital staff wears scrubs; nurses, MA’s, various techs and yes, even doctors. On average the phat asses you saw wearing scrubs and showing off the top of their thongs and tramp stamps are probably not MD’s. Mostly anyway.

    As a resident I lived in scrubs in the hospital but after that they were only for the OR. Pretty sure we’ve had a few memos go out about that being a bylaw and you need to turn your used, dirty scrubs into the scrub machine

  31. I assumed most of them were nurses, med techs, and maybe even vet techs.

  32. I talked to my dad this morning. Troy University had their commencement yesterday and will hold funeral/memorial services for John Lewis today. The town is overrun with people. I suggested he stay the hell home for a while.

    Oh, and Lewis gets a couple thousand people at each of his funerals while you get 10 max, peasant.

  33. Zeke is getting cut on today. Flushing did not work

  34. Prayers for Zeke.

  35. First

  36. Hope Zeke is better very soon, Vmax.

  37. No wuflu cases will come from the Lewis funeral, Roamy, no matter what the demographics say.

  38. Mountain lions aren’t very aggressive. You rarely see them without dogs. I was out taking the dog for a walk at dusk a year or two ago. Mountain lion stood up, looked at us, then trotted off up the hill. Dog took off after him, but came back when I called. We went by the same spot the next morning and there was an elk kill. Dog and I were looking at it when a different lion stood up 60 yards away and walked off. This was about 250 to 300 yards from my house.

    I was jogging up a canyon and came across some lion tracks in the snow. He turned off, and I just kept going. Ran that same trail a few days later and saw where he had come back down and followed me up the trail. Not stalking, but he was closer than I thought.

    Came across some good-sized bear tracks a couple of days ago. Bear came down the canyon to our corrals at the house, got some water, then headed back out.

    There are a lot of animals out there that people just don’t see.

  39. TIL Marlin Perkins was director of the St. Louis Zoo (Mini-me and boyfriend were there yesterday), my dad went to school with Pat Dye’s brother, and my mom worked with another Dye brother.

  40. Hoping things go the right way for Zeke

  41. Prayers for Zeke.

  42. Thanks,
    It is happening at noon, and they will keep him another day

  43. Hope it goes well, VMax.

  44. They’re losing bodies to have feces thrown at by rioters I guess

    https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2019/07/11/police-pensioners-told-to-come-back-to-work-or-lose-their-benefits-say-they-arent-willing-or-able/

  45. WA, VA, TN, and UT among the places getting unsolicited seed packages from Chyna. Call USDA if you get one. https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/virginia-department-of-agriculture-warns-residents-of-seeds-from-china/65-2e195255-f7e9-46bf-8bea-f711415af3c3

  46. Homemade or Hoemade?

  47. Good luck Zeke.

    https://tinyurl.com/Heads-up-VMax

  48. Prayers for Zeke!

  49. Get well soon zeke!

  50. jimbro Twitter mic drops like that are the way to go. the ones who don’t get it aren’t worth arguing with.

    plus walking in and dropping something in the punch bowl is fun.

  51. Fine set o’ memes you got there
    Be a shame if something happened to them……

  52. oooh good luck Zeke!

  53. Last night I think Ace linked a video of a guy walking up to a bunch of bike protestors blocking traffic and smashing a couple in the face before walking off. It was from a BLM supporter account

    *scrolls Ace’s furiously to find something to enjoy with my morning coffee

  54. Cardigan Clubber is the hero we need. The best part was seeing the rest of the bike guys just standing by and backing off.

    If Cardigan had had a couple of buddies, they could have laid waste.

  55. https://tinyurl.com/y5gzndlg

  56. https://tinyurl.com/yyh3x3uq

  57. awww, poor little firefly wants to mate with the moon
    not gonna happen firefly, you’re still gonna be an incel living in your mom’s basement getting killed in WoW by me

  58. How oddly specific.

  59. PJ is one of those gals who makes fun of the involuntarily celibate.

    Good to know.

  60. Good to know.
    I strike a chord?

  61. How oddly specific.

    *blinks innocently*

  62. If you two don’t cut it out right this instance I swear I will pull this blog over…

  63. Guess I’ve been away too long. Used to be able to sass the heck out of each other here.

  64. Do you kick abused dogs, too?

  65. Yep, blog’s gone soft.
    How sad

  66. *Alex trying to pull over H2*

    https://tinyurl.com/This-one-has-sound-MJr

  67. Yep, blog’s gone soft.

    Try jiggling the handle. Or just jiggling. Maybe juggling?

  68. Alex trying to pull over H2*
    Stopped the kids from arguing though, didn’t it?

  69. I’ve put on the Covid 19. Pretty sure jiggle is the correct term

  70. CNN told the world for weeks that “incels” were the next right wing threat because Kotaku told them they were. Because “gamer grrrls” like Anita and Zoë wanted them cancelled.

    I’d stick up for furries if that happened to them.

  71. Got cards from Oso and Beasn, many thanks.

    Robot triceratops turned out to be from my BiL.

  72. *Alex trying to pull over H2*

    https://tinyurl.com/This-one-has-sound-MJr

    I chortled in my underoos.

  73. The underoos scene was pretty much the only time after The Mask that Cameron Diaz was hot.

  74. Holy crap, she looks like Viggo Mortensen now.

  75. I’d stick up for furries if that happened to them.

    Furries get the bullet, when the revolution comes.

  76. My favorite thing is when 14 year old boys threaten to rape me or my mom when I snipe them in a game.
    Perhaps had I been a 14 year old boy myself, or a weak, whiny, feminist gamer girl, I’d get upset…instead it’s way more fun to let them know they died at the hands of someone who could actually BE their mom. Or like, you’re gonna rape my mom? Ok, but she’s reeeeally old. You into that son?
    Somehow those threats aren’t as fun when the recipient doesn’t care

  77. Furries get the bullet, when the revolution comes
    Well yeah, that’s a given. Warm up target

  78. Granted, the rape threat is rare
    I’m mostly dead 99% of the time
    I really suck at video games

  79. Cucks before furries. Any furry willing to throw down with the Lincoln Project is okay in my book.

  80. Time to go see if Lowe’s will bring lumber out to me or if I’ll have to wear the gnat hat to go in for it.

  81. It was a year or two back that we had “heated debate” about incels.

    I don’t really know if they were heated. I mean, we linked shit.

  82. My furry former boss was being filmed on TicTok by his fiancé when he fell off the roof and broke his leg and lost teeth. (Not the previous fiancé who gave him a dog collar while proposing).

  83. Zeke made it through the surgery. He had a ball of cheesecloth in his belly. I might get to bring him home tomorrow.

  84. Oso wins the WTF Award for today.

  85. Happy for Zeke!!

  86. It was a year or two back that we had “heated debate” about incels.

    I don’t really know if they were heated. I mean, we linked shit.

    Speaking as an incel, I’m giving you all permission to drop the “i-word”. For a fee. “I-word” passes for sale, over here. Line forms on the left. I take cash only.

  87. Comment by leoncaruthers on July 25, 2020 1:58 pm
    Holy crap, she looks like Viggo Mortensen now.

    Meg Squats is starting to go that way.

  88. I liked the guard dog meme.

  89. RIP Regis Philbin.

  90. Silly dogs eating things they shouldn’t! Glad it was a physical obstruction and not something worse. Our Star used to eat clothes and we were forever worrying she’d get an obstruction. Fortunately she managed to pass them all. Rowan is always eating Paula’s Goody hair tie elastics. Every morning he jumps on the bed and makes a beeline for her side table to look for one. We’re used to his antics and usually head him off. Every so often he has a dangling turd when he gets one. We stopped buying rope pull toys because he was shredding them and it made for some awkward trips to the shitpen.

  91. You’re welcome, Leon.

  92. Yay, Zeke 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 St Francis.

  93. . For a fee. “I-word” passes for sale, over here. Line forms on the left. I take cash only.
    *digs through purse*
    Ok, I’ve got a tooth, 3 pennies, a nickel, bellybutton lint (don’t ask, I lost a bet), and some black licorice necco wafers. Will you accept payments?

  94. Cheesecloth?
    Wonder what he was trying to strain?

  95. MA is our fabric eater. She’s my avi. She ate quilts, chones, and sheets. The dangling poops are more from her eating my shedded hair, than fabric.

  96. elliot ate something once, thought he was gonna have to get cut. luckily it passed. but he was at the vet at the time.

  97. He is not saying PJM

  98. I’ve lost a lot of shoes, books,
    Nightguard. Thaaaaat was expensive

  99. He is not saying PJM
    I’m not a bettin’ man, but if I had to guess
    It’s to make herbal infused essential oils for his MLM.
    but that’s just a guess.

  100. Y’all need to make fun of Carin on Facedouche. She is floating a really good idea for restaurants in the time of Wuhan.

  101. OMW

  102. I dunno. Someone who is involuntarily celibate can’t get laid to save his life. Pretty sure CoAl is just being picky. We’ve spoiled him with our BBF chicks.

  103. I lost my favorite pair of leather sandals to this domestic terrorist. Dan “Maybe you should put your stuff away and not leave it on the floor”. 30 years of Judgy McJudgerson

  104. Pretty sure CoAl is just being picky
    Yeah, incel is “involuntary”

  105. Ok, I’ve got a tooth, 3 pennies, a nickel, bellybutton lint (don’t ask, I lost a bet), and some black licorice necco wafers. Will you accept payments?

    No one rides for free.

  106. I dunno. Someone who is involuntarily celibate can’t get laid to save his life. Pretty sure CoAl is just being picky. We’ve spoiled him with our BBF chicks.

    I don’t think saying no to heavily-tattooed, morbidly obese single moms is “being picky”.

  107. Raise your hand if you had to google chones.

    https://tinyurl.com/y4lqc3nn

  108. Meg Squats is starting to go that way.

    I never really got her appeal. I watched a few videos, but meh. Something offputting, nothing I could put a finger on.

    Got my lumber, the board was 4x the size I was anticipating, but I wasn’t about to try and exchange it. Going to try and build my riser for standing desk tomorrow.

  109. Alex is a catch, he deserves a good woman, but they are incredibly rare anymore.

  110. And if the choice is to put it in crazy or put it in nothing, it’s still involuntary.

  111. https://tinyurl.com/y6fqrztn

  112. Idon’t think saying no to heavily-tattooed, morbidly obese single moms is “being picky”.

    Ugh. Why you hate me? Come give momma a hug

  113. Isn’t chones unnerwear?

  114. I feel attacked.

  115. Jeez….

    https://tinyurl.com/y6qwwf5s

    and a bunch of white cops are helping them, SMH.

  116. Cheesecake cheesecloth whatever.

    Glad your buddy is on the mend V.

  117. NFAC
    hmm
    Need frosty air conditioning?

  118. Chones is underpants. Unless you play baseball…Chone Figgins.

  119. That is going to be an expensive cheesecloth.

    I still have a rubber ball that was cut out of my lab about 30 years ago.

    A $400 operation back then,

  120. PJ when she was little.

    https://tinyurl.com/y2oo3b88

  121. https://tinyurl.com/yxkmzfqb

  122. Shouldn’t have put me on the naughty list

  123. Zeke was probably planning to surprise Vmax with a wheel of homemade cheese. But you know, that’s a really challenging project for a dog to bring over the finish line. Really really hard.

  124. I want that cat…or whatever that is

  125. Yes Scott, I was told between $2k-$4k

  126. Oooh. I think Laura is right. Makes much more sense than him being in an essential oil MLM

  127. PJ is Oso with a lot less cursing.

  128. One of my coworkers has one of those ‘hairless’ cats. She says he’s super sweet tempered and feels like a velveteen hot water bottle.

  129. And acronyms.

  130. I’m packing a “hairless” velveteen hot water bottle in my chones

  131. Laura, is your cow other an artist?

  132. or something

  133. Every time we got Max the maine coon shaved (well, buzzed down to undercoat to get rid of his mats) he was ecstatic. And an absolute joy to pet and cuddle with. I miss that big fuzzy guy so much.

  134. A freshly trimmed pussy is a happy pussy.

  135. PJ is Oso with a lot less cursing.
    Wha? Nowai. I totally said bad words

  136. I’m the Samuel L Jackson to PJS Denzel.

  137. Leon with the acronym respect.

  138. >>>Got cards from Oso and Beasn, many thanks.

    I sent a dinosaur card.
    My daughter sent a pretty card — think it had a unicorn?

  139. BIL’s dog ate the stuffing out of one of the kids’ teddy bears and had to get the same operation. Glad Zeke is doing better.

  140. I didn’t have a pretty card on hand, and I couldn’t get Mr. RFH to take me shopping. I figured anything was better than nothing. Leon, did it make it on time? Seems like the mail system is doubling the usual time for delivery now.

  141. I’m the Samuel L Jackson to PJS Denzel.
    ugh, I am SUCH a pansy

  142. We got it, Roamy, thanks. She loves stickers.

  143. Good deal.

  144. Why I don’t exercise anymore. I’m holy
    Proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked run when no one is chasing them”

  145. Awww. I’ll chase ya, hon. *dons orthopedics for hunchbacks*

  146. I think the hunchback is a myth. Maybe a legend.

  147. lauraw, the hunchback, the myth, the legend

  148. Dan is tired of Mass at home. I refuse to wear a Mask at church. Film at 7.

  149. I tried making mac and cheese with a cheese sauce of apple cider, sharp chedder,and some mozzarella. Verdict: meh. Too much apple.

  150. Dan is tired of Mass at home. I refuse to wear a Mask at church. Film at 7.

    They’ve started holding it outdoors here so you don’t have to wear a mask
    TAKE THAT GOVERNOR NUISANCE!!!!!!!

  151. Melanoma is spiking!

  152. I never really got her appeal. I watched a few videos, but meh. Something offputting, nothing I could put a finger on.

    At one point she was a cute redhead making squat videos. What more do you need? Plus she seemed to be pretty focused on actually demonstrating techniques and workout routines, not trying using this as a launch pad for a modeling career.

  153. Hold service on a mountainside.

  154. Gravel pit

  155. Landfill

  156. Plus she seemed to be pretty focused on actually demonstrating techniques and workout routines

    Ok. I haz an interest. Thanks for the referral.

  157. Melanoma is spiking!

    EVERYONE BACK INSIDE

  158. Parish in IN that we go went to is all in on masking and making mass as little like mass as possible out of fear of wuflu and the county and state health officials. Nearest MI parish isn’t any better. Dispensation from mass currently extends to 8-15. I expect it to be extended.

  159. Drive in movie – no necking

  160. Treatment plant

  161. Drive in movie – no necking

    Even the drive-in here closed for a little while……..eeeeeeeeeeeverything shut down except for the grocery stores and lowe’s and home depot

  162. Junkyard

  163. Abandoned TB Sanitarium

  164. Leper Colony

  165. Stacey Abrams’ Fat Folds

  166. I saw Stacey Abrams Fat Folds open for Gas Pump Cooties in 08.

  167. Damn Jimbro, this is church we’re talking about.

  168. I have 48 solar powered garden lights edging the yard. I love sitting in the screen porch watching them blink on one by one at dusk.

  169. And if the choice is to put it in crazy or put it in nothing, it’s still involuntary.
    ________________________

    Pretty sure that means all men are incels. My wife is the most logical, sweet, and level-headed woman I’ve ever met. And even she will admit to being a bit insane. As far as I can tell, the only options Nate put it in crazy or put it in nothing.

  170. How the actual fuck can autocollect be so astoundingly wrong so often? I swear my phone is possessed by a retarded ghost

  171. Nate = are.

    Cuz autocollect is sure that “are” ain’t a real word. Ffs.

  172. Ahhhrrrrr

  173. I was like oooh someone named Nate just got doxxed!!
    wait, is that with two x’s or one?

  174. I have 48 solar powered garden lights edging the yard. I love sitting in the screen porch watching them blink on one by one at dusk.

    Mass will now be held at dusk tomorrow at Hotspur’s

  175. Pretty sure that means all men are incels

    ok yeah, accurate af

  176. Why not 49?

  177. 12 per box

  178. They don’t go to 11

  179. Not true.

    Your mom has about 170.

  180. ooooooh snap, I got rekt

  181. It’s true, all women are crazy. The trick is finding a crazy you can wake up beside for the next fifty years.

  182. That statement is only true in Ohio and Florida.

  183. The key to Ohio is getting out of the cities.

  184. Yeah, there’s no hope for Florida
    Ask Mare
    *me acting like I never lived there*

  185. Florida consists entirely of cities, alligators, meth labs, and Disney.

  186. This is really sexy

    not the Nytimes…screw them, I just mean the story
    gawl

  187. I only have to wake up for another 36-37 years before I start into step cognitive decline, so I’ve got that going for me.

    I should start stockpiling drugs for then.

  188. Steep, steep you dumbphone.

  189. I dunno, step sounded like it worked too..instead of leaping into it, you just kinda stepped

  190. Can you believe what Trump said today?

    That bastard!!
    also, you did NOT just do that

  191. LOL! Jay 😂😂😂

  192. Mass will now be held at dusk tomorrow at Hotspur’s

    “Your mother, who art a harlot, hollowed by thy hole…”

  193. “Your mother, who art a harlot, hollowed by thy hole…”

    ahahaha ok. well we now have a Celebrant

  194. We we’re lucky that Hotspur owns a priest’s habit, although it’s strange that he didn’t own the pants…

  195. Come on now, we all have habits
    Some good
    Some bad
    I’m not going to judge hotspur’s
    Much

  196. *quickly Google’s definitely of priest habit*

  197. Definition damn it

  198. oh man, Tim Pool putting forth the theory that Roberts is throwing these decisions to ensure a Trump victory.

    Nope. Roberts is an idiot, that’s a much easier explanation. Just like Sandra Day O’Connor, and Gorsuch and Kavanaugh turning their backs on their previous views.

    I hope Trump wins, so he can appoint Coney-Barrett to replace Ginsburg. That will finish off our republic.

  199. Robert’s decisions make sense if you realize that his goal is to avoid a Roe v Wade type of decision. He’d rather find the decision which makes the smallest impact on the law and throws the issue back to the legislature and executive branch.

  200. Obamacare? “It’s a tax” avoided a larger discussion of the constitutionality of the law.

    DACA? Violated the APA, so SCOTUS doesn’t get blamed for ending it.

    Census? Same thing.

    He doesn’t want SCOTUS making these massive changes to the law. The problem is that Congress doesn’t want to expend political capital to pass legislation. They want to focus on corporate hand outs and let SCOTUS fix all their problems.

  201. so he’s only a little bit unconstitutional?

  202. RIP John Saxon.

    One of the first celebrity crushes of a young TiFW.

  203. Regis Philbin too. Who’s #3?

  204. RBG? ***crosses fingers***

  205. Detailed etchings remain pricey.


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