Think positive thoughts
I’ve never heard of this woman but apparently she’s a big deal on YouTube, 60 Minutes, Netflix, etc. I haven’t watched it, maybe later.
Have a great Thursday and remain calm, boobies in 24 hours!
April 23, 2020
Categories: 10/10 Would Smash, nose nuggets, Pinch A Loaf, shit squirters, Taking The Browns To The Super Bowl, This is fucking bullshit, Vaseline Kiss, Who Cut The Cheese?, your mom likes a slippery trout, zero fucks . . Author: Jimbro
145 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
March 3, 2021
Our government is a giant shitball of incompetents, liars and fascist pricks.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
Changing Headers since March 2009 
Good morning tuckers and fag hags!
Good morning!
I’m trying to be quiet and not move around the house too much this morning. Paula is working weird hours this week, 7-7 Monday, 11-11 Wednesday and today 3P to 3A. She got home at midnight last night, slept on the couch until I woke at 0430 and we exchanged a quick kiss as she went upstairs and I came down here. Every time I get up and move the dogs think it’s GO TIME !!! and race down here only to be disappointed when they see me putting the coffee pot back in place.
Always get a kick out of Urban Dictionary. I double checked my fag hag reference to confirm as any good blog commenter ought to and got sucked down the wormhole of new terms. I learned Dirty Naomi and Morty Mouth along with a few other less notable ones. I sort of miss MJ using new terms for disgusting acts which seems to have decreased because he’s old now.
Jimbro, stop typing so loudly!! Sheeeesh.
Fag hag…I swear I heard that on a Blackadder episode.
I first heard it with reference to that old lady Madonna back when she was putting out creative stuff. She is a sad woman now. I have much more respect for aging artists who can shift their output as they mature and become a mentor for younger artists striving for the same success.
I wonder how Kim Jong Un is doing? He seems nice.
Yes, did a little googling and found:
“After they had been mugged by Mr. Blackadder, she insisted that her father did nothing to defend her honour. Her father responded by yelling “Oh shut your face, you pregnant junky fag-hag!”
pregnant
junky
fag-hag
There’s a lot to unpack there!
Kim Jong a Ling a Ding Dong is prolly up to his chins in coke with two anime looking chicks parting his fupa looking for his gentlemen’s vienna.
Ah to be a dictator. That must be the life.
I watched a couple of the videos by the Alaskan people I linked to last night and they’re pretty good. The one with her setting up 3 beehives made me laugh because it reminded me of all the same worries I have when I’m putting bees in hives.
https://tinyurl.com/ybuttwpy
(that tiny url makes me laugh … butt wipey)
Costco was selling bee attracting hanging boxes. They were not called hives but something else. They were not the white boxes you usually see but like a birdhouse with small circular holes.
Well, Trump effed up. Not completely supporting Kemp was stupid. I wonder who was whispering in his ear.
Those are for solitary bees, aka field bees. Most of the bees in the average yard are not honeybees but local working bees just trying to make it through the year to make more bees
https://www.thesca.org/connect/blog/bumblebees-vs-honeybees-what%E2%80%99s-difference-and-why-does-it-matter
My bee book calls them “mason bees” as catch-all term and suggests that if you keep flowering plants you may want to build them an attractive habitat rather than simply hope for the best. I’m planning to do one fairly soon. Lots of herbicide use in my area and not a lot of wildflowers other than the dandelions and a thin strip of red clover next to my field.
wakey wakey. I’ve got one of those bee house things.
Regarding the sugar daddy money
that’s a legitimate question. The benefits are to last for 4 months and it works out to $15 hr. It’s probably not a big deal now, but it will come into play as the country starts to open
It come into play NOW.
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/22/she-got-a-paycheck-protection-loan-her-employees-hate-her-for-it.html?__source=sharebar%7Cfacebook&par=sharebar&fbclid=IwAR0fXOM5aShdv9h-YoZ57KR-EKXv4IysXevCvesZrzPexJOUWUXDleQg0Z0
Because people are really bad at long range planning.
This is something I’ve heard people I work with discuss, and something Pat thought about.
It’s not “more money” for everyone, but it is “sit on your ass money” versus actually working.
One of Paula’s friends (the one with cancer, still getting treatment) is pissed that her husband’s employer started up again. He usually works PT evenings doing cleaning and when the company shut down he was making way more money sitting at home doing nothing.
I think I could easily live in the middle of nowhere with the fam.
But I’m not sure they could live in the middle of nowhere with me.
“That includes Republican Senators Lindsey Graham (S.C.), Ben Sasse (Neb.), Tim Scott (S.C.,) and Rick Scott (Fla.), who bravely spoke up when they saw the final language of the relief bill that was negotiated by other GOP Senators. Perhaps because they represent states with thousands of small businesses, they understood the incentive issues better than others who think every American business operates like Exxon and Apple.
The Senators were attacked in the media, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called them “cruel.” But they turned out to be right. This means that no matter when governors announce their states’ reopenings, many businesses will still have to wait until July 31—when the extra $600 expires—to be able to afford the workers they need to reopen.”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/paying-americans-not-to-work-11587597150
I’ve heard a few friends say if they open up slow, they’ll volunteer to stay home for a few more weeks.
I’m losing my mind actually. What day is it? With nothing to do/go, my motivation plummets. I know other people are the same, but they’d still rather sit on their ass. Not everyone. But more than a couple.
A lot of people will adjust to not working as long as we’re paying.
Car in, that playstation isn’t going to play itself!
Wild ass speculation is basically the norm now.
Even Dr Fucki does it all the time. He’s convinced that X will be worse than Y. No idea why. Just a hunch.
Go to Hot Air. Every post follows the same formula: Statement, wild ass speculation based on nothing, cucked out ending that takes no position…just askin’ questions you guys!
Go to RCP. Every linked article is trying to divine the future. It’s either going to be awful or pretty much back to normal. Nothing about today.
It’s disheartening.
Go to Hot Air. Ever
Yea … hard pass. haven’t gone there in years.
Car in, that playstation isn’t going to play itself!
J’ames, let’s not forget that when the Stimulus check hit, they were able to buy/upgrade.
If I really was a shit stirrer, I would create memes about stay at home slackers demanding that the stay at home workers and essential people work harder … they’ve got games to play.
It’s not time for that – because many people still have no choice in the matter. But I’m afraid it may be coming.
It’s so beta.
Hot Air is the perfect curation of why Republicans lose.
They’re still not sure it’s fair to talk about Joe Biden fingering his employee. Or demoting her after she refused to act as a cocktail server. Or firing her after she filed a complaint.
It’s just not clear you guys. We need to be careful about this you guys.
Dangit, I forgot to burn a tire yesterday.
Whitmer has a 63% approval rating?
In Lansing, maybe.
Hot Air and the MSM say that Karen from MI is really popular.
Which means she’s not.
Where is this Hot Air thing? I wish to subscribe to their (4-20) newsletter!
Karen has a 63% approval rating, and Biden is ahead of Trump.
Uh huh.
It’s a little too close to the “threat or menace?” formula, but damned if it’s not dead on.
https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/the-morning-briefing-is-gretchen-whitmer-satan-stalin-or-both/
I want to be a hero like Oso and pursue my dream of driving a trash truck, but CDL schools are closed.
Comment by scott on April 23, 2020 9:59 am
Whitmer has a 63% approval rating?
——
OFFS
Nope.
And if so, oh I don’t even know.
Everything is fake.
The vote by mail issue is shaping up to be really important. I’m hoping the Trump people are not only working against it but also upping their plan if it does get put in place.
Don Jr has called it out as nothing more than a plot to enable fraud, I can’t imagine Don Sr is unaware.
Of course it’s fraud, but once again it’s being framed as something totally harmless.
States that go to vote-by-mail schemes never have republicans win statewide office again.
Total coincidence.
So … one of my liberal friends who keeps pushing the “we need to stay home as long as possible” bs stuff, now wants a new phone.
We need to develop something along the lines of “if you think we need to shelter in place until this is over” – then they need to really live the life. Stop shopping. Need a phone upgrade? Fuck that, you don’t need a phone. Food? you should be living off what is in your pantry.
It’s pretty fucking hypocritical for people to say society should shut down, when in reality their living their best life, watching tv all day.
New phone => workers in phone factory + logistics to go from factory to your hand
All of them will die of Wu Tang Flu if you order that phone, you monster.
Fastest way to restore the economy:
– A new tax on those working that amounts to 30% of their take-home to be transferred directly into the PPP program.
Let’s “all” sacrifice.
As bad as this is, we are fortunate that this is happening after a couple really good years.
If Wang Flu happened during the Obama years we would be homeless and hungry.
If Wang Flu had happened during Obama life would have gone on as normal.
Comment by Hotspur on April 23, 2020 11:42 am
If Wang Flu had happened during Obama life would have gone on as normal.
——–
I agree although you’re forgetting it DID happen during the Obama administration.
H1N1 was a non-event. Because Purple-lipped Man Good.
I don’t understand the stay at home stuff.
If you’d like to do that, ok, stay at home. Feel free.
But why would someone want me to stay home too?
If they had thought they could get away with this under Bush, or Bush had been an actual American patriot rather than a globalist tool, we’d have shut down all the things for SARS-COV-1.
I haven’t looked in awhile but we’re still under 40K people dead from this plague.
Worst plague ever.
Virginia colleagues are abusing the work-group-text to talk about how we might have to stay shut down or at least ban large gatherings until Autumn.
Of 2021.
It may take an act of SMOD to end this.
It’s only that low because we locked down!
3 months after the first known case. And literally All The Winter Holidays.
Swine was only 12,000.
I miss monkey pox.
This is all garbage.
I’ve gone over available benefits many times and found I’d be pulling in half what I do now…and yet people are getting $15 an hour to sit on their butts? While I still have a job and can’t make enough to not constantly panic about rent and scrimp on groceries?
Look, I’m trying to steer clear of the envy thing, but damn. if folks are really getting more in layabout cash than I make with an honest paycheck, I don’t even know why I bother anymore.
Isn’t it unemployment plus $600?
One guy from work wanted an estimate for when I thought something would be done if we re-started Jun 15th. I wrote two e-mail and deleted both. Fucking Jun, really, why even worry about schedule.
yes, they added $600 to the unemployment bennys, making it more worthwhile to sit on your ass
The county next door was going to try and re-open against the Gov order. Stating he can’t extend the stay at home order with it being voted on by the legislature which isn’t in session. The county Sheriffs say they won’t enforce his order. The Gov is threatening to bring in the state police.
Everyone thinks GA is being too rash in opening up.
800 people dead over a 6-8 week period. 300 located in nursing homes.
For a bit of context, 1600 people die in GA every week.
I’m starting to believe that people don’t understand mortality rates because it’s pretty rare to know someone that died recently. It just doesn’t seem like anyone dies. Unless you’re over 65 or so.
I should lay myself off.
In past recessions (and believe me I’ve been through a bunch of them) workers left Michigan to go to areas of the country where there was work. This time there was no place for them to go, so they’re still here.
But as states like TX, AZ, FL, and GA open up their economies, and our cuntwhore of a governor keeps ours locked down, those people are going to split. And when she finally gets the thorough buttfucking she deserves, and allows businesses to re-open, we’ll be entirely short-handed again. There won’t be a recovery in Michigan.
Oh come on, MJ, no one died before The Rona
I saw a story on the Bangor Daily News site that we may open up sooner than the projected 5/15 date. Lockdown must not be polling well.
If I read more of those stories I may hold off on getting a Corona haircut
Belgium: locked down tight, 544 deaths per million
Sweden: no lockdown, 200 deaths per million
Correction, Belgium is 560 deaths per million.
To be fair everyone goes through Belgium to go somewhere else.
And they always lick the doorknob on the way out.
Ron Perelman really is an exemplar Belgian.
France and Spain have more than twice the death rate of Sweden. Do they have a culture of doorknob licking too?
Belgium is just France without the good cheese and wine.
In the 80’s our local hotels were filled with out of state construction workers. I knew a bunch of sheetrockers from Detroit.
They kiss everyone.
People in France and Spain, not the sheetrockers from Detroit.
UK is worse than Sweden also, aren’t they locked down to spare the heroic workers in the NHS?
We rely on a lot of out of state workers here. When we built the addition to our hospital and the new convention center it was common to see out of state plates everywhere. Cianbro is a big player in this and needs bodies to work.
https://www.cianbro.com/
They’re hiring now
They have a big facility building prefab units and they float them down the Penobscot River every so often. Very inspiring to see them float by.
Comment by MJ on April 23, 2020 11:56 am
I don’t understand the stay at home stuff.
If you’d like to do that, ok, stay at home. Feel free.
But why would someone want me to stay home too?
——–
I feel this way too. I don’t get it. Stay home if you’re afraid.
because!
That should be enough reason, winger.
JFYI, I think something hinky is going on with google CDC searches.
About a month ago I could easily find graphs that show 58,000 died of H1N1, can’t find them anymore.
Bait and switch 2020!
Biden’s whole candidacy.
Is it too early to start drinking? Asking for a friend.
Comment by roamingfirehydrant on April 23, 2020 2:06 pm
Is it too early to start drinking? Asking for a friend.
——-
Answering for a friend, no.
Belgium: locked down tight, 544 deaths per million
Sweden: no lockdown, 200 deaths per million……
….France and Spain have more than twice the death rate of Sweden. Do they have a culture of doorknob licking too?
1. Sweden taking a herd immunity route is not motivated in jacking up the numbers.
2. The other three’s socialized healthcare is probably less able to care for the seriously ill and/or there are more fat asses.
Hell, Mare started a few hours ago.
Got a couple of Guinea hens. And some coco morans. too. Kind of excited.
3. The other three are tweaking the numbers like Italy has been doing.
Beasn, we have a family member that is completing a two year coding program this year.
We’ll probably know something about job prospects soon.
Ordered some masks. Tracking shows they checked into a postal service facility in Carol Stream IL on 4/9. Hasn’t moved since.
Today the tracking was updated – “expect movement by 4/30”.
Sweden: no lockdown, 200 deaths per million……
===========
They were probably hoping it would put a dent in the unwashed immigrant population……..
Dave Rubin meets Trump for the first time
“hey melania, these 2 guys are married!” Hahahaha, I can just see it.
As I understand it, the Swedes would be by-and-large sanguine with that stance for that reason, but their government is all in on replacing the native viking-descendants with swarthy Musselmen intent on plundering the Bikini Team.
That rubin thing was very interesting. Especially their observation at the end.
That was interesting. He’s a real guy. The media has even colored my glasses, and I feel bad for it.
Just watched Richard Jewell. Amazing performances. MA got a rabies shot this AM. She started looking like rattlesnake dog. Got a shot and she’s feeling much better.
Dave Rubin is a pretty cool guy. He used to be one of The Young Turks with that insufferable blowhard douchebag Cenk Yger (or whatever) and whore extraordinaire Anna Kasparian.
Then he woke up and walked away.
The left hates him because he’s a married gay dude who criticizes their hypocrisy and positions.
Pupster, Thank you so very much. We both really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
what is that on, oso? I’ve wanted to see Richard Jewell
Word. Pupster & co. are Good People.
Huh.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-york-antibody-study-early-results
3 million have had it?
Again, I say.
Huh
.3% death rate, even with their inflated numbers.
Huh
It’s almost like we did all this just to crater the economy and prevent Easter church services.
Trillions in slush funds.
Scott the coding program I’ll be doing, if I can ever get an orientation not cancelled, goes for 12 weeks.
I can totally see the Deep State, their buds in ChyNA, and other POS globalists getting together to pull off the tanking of the world economy to save/push their agendas. If it were just the U.S., it would be might suspicious but if large swaths of the globe are in the same boat…..
Remember my Operation Wild Violet Infiltration scheme? Look at her babies! I just moved some bigger ones to obscure places bordering said lawn.
(the babies are the bitty things playing around mom’s canopy)
Beasn, roundup will take care of that violet problem for you. 🙂
J’ames, we got it at Red Box. The Gentlemen, too. Had to go out this AM. Watching The Gentlemen tomorrow. Watching The Draft tonight after The Trump Show.
They’re such a curse when you have them where you don’t want them, I feel a little guilty about encouraging you, Beasn.
Let me know if you want some of the white ones with purple centers. I have both kinds in my lawn. 😉
* points *
CNN is fake news. Don’t talk to me.
Best answer ever!
Are you going to candy some for cake decorations?
Great. Still no Coronacheck and tomorrow’s the day I need to have April rent by. And still have no idea WTF I’m doing for May. And STILL no damn idea how the hell I resolve any of this with the economy locked down tighter than Obama’s school records.
Plus they’re supposed to stick a probe up my weenus to zap a stone stuck in my plumbing, but my usual transport options are not viable at this time…which I learn just AFTER they close for the day for me to reschedule.
Shoot, I feel like a chump just for filing taxes. This, this sort of shit is what keeps my depression in full play…
Checks are going to take a while. Checks for individual filers were supposed to be sent between 4/24 & 6/26. Starting with the lowest incomes and ending at the highest.
Joint filers will start going out in early July and end in September.
78 degrees and 14% humidity. First time I’ve been out other than work in weeks. Bad drivers continue to be bad drivers.
I went to Meijer in IN. They had TP.
– https://tinyurl.com/y9jrt69q
Father of the year.
Is it illegal to sell toilet paper in Michigan?
Pretty sure it’s illegal to pee standing up at the moment.
>>>Beasn, roundup will take care of that violet problem for you.
NOOOOOooo! I like pretty weeds that serve some purpose…like making my eyes happy in the spring. And pssst, our lawn guy said the junk he puts on our lawn doesn’t touch wild violets.
Husband likes plain ol’ grass. Wide open grass. Drives him crazy that I cater to butterflies by allowing milkweed to go nuts in the bottom garden. He thinks my white lilac a weed and chopped half of it down before I caught him. Thus, he has been permanently banned from the gardens and his grass will now be dotted with violets. Lovely beautiful violets as far as the eye can see.
>>Let me know if you want some of the white ones with purple centers.
Nahh, I’m good with just the purple ones. Btw, you need some wild green onions? Pulled a bunch of those. I shoulda cleaned ’em up for tonight’s nachos.
Yesterday I defrosted my freezer. Today I went grocery shopping for the first time since March 11, bought a metric shit-ton of stuff. A panhandler bugged me for money in the parking lot, in the pouring rain. I told him I didn’t have any cash and that he could have a jar of peanut butter. He gave me a bullshit story about needing the cash to do laundry. We’re standing there, soaked to the skin. Idiot. I made a face at him and offered the peanut butter again. He walked off without it.
Mr. RFH did go to the grocery store for me a couple of times to get milk, bread, and eggs, but for the most part, we’ve been eating what was in the freezer.
I try to encourage dandelions.
The crack to peanut butter exchange rate is complicated.
you can get more crack with chunky peanut butter, cuz it’s worth more.
https://tinyurl.com/y6uc9df8
👋🏻❤️🐾
TMI we have been sleeping apart during this 💩. I’m couch. NFL Draft is pretty boring. I may reclaim the bed. Taking my weighted blanket. My My Pillow.
NFL Draft is not really must see TV for me. I definitely follow it, just the next day on different web sites
Can people actually eat wild green onions? They’re tough as twine around here.
Ours are tender enough to eat.
What about wild corn dogs?
I’m watching a documentary about Mission Control during Apollo 13.
What channel?
So I have to watch the richard jewell thing. Ok.
Did I tel you erin rented cats? Omg was that bad. You couldn’t even watching ironically.
Had to move my new chicks – I thought I could throw them in with the others … 2 were fine, 2 were just too little and were getting picked on. So I moved all four into a temporary container. Gotta run out and get another water thing tomorrow.
moose can now see the new babies (they’re in a repurposed aquarium. He’s probably going to sleep watching them all night.
Carin, aren’t guinea hens known for like, screaming all day?
TiFW, Netflix.
For those watching the draft, friend posted “The NFL draft takes too long. If I really wanted to watch 32 picks in 3 hours, I’d watch Jameis Winston play.”
I want to see Richard Jewell, too.
The Clarence Thomas documentary was good, I got to see that in the theater.
https://thepuristonline.com/2020/04/the-cuomos-corona-protocol-week-3/
Fredo’s wife. Favorite comment where I saw this posted, “What in the cinnamon toast fuck did I just read?” Sodium hypochlorite != sodium chloride, and soaking your butt in it will not “combat the radiation”.
Ive never heard the phrase “cinnamon toast fuck”. I have heard the phrase “cornbread fuck”. I wonder if they’re related.
good question, pendejo. we should like investigate and shit.
Doctors endorsed Reginald’s plan.