It’s crazy out there, EMBRACE THE SUCK!

Pun, you say?


  1. Good morning, Hostages!


  3. This poat was damn funny.

  4. Pups, do you miss Ohio Valley pizza?


  5. Mare’s Stages of Quarantine:

    Crushing Despair
    Deep philosophical introspection
    Trusting the Big Guy

  6. Alright, that baby snuggling gif was awesome

  7. Agree, Jimbro.

  8. Covid Tip 34 made me laugh a little too hard.

  9. Beasn mentioned needing a scan last night and seeing the empty parking lot next to the hospital. The patients who do manage to come in to see us frequently mention that they’ve never been seen so fast and everyone is so nice to them. The hospital is empty. I sent a picture of the ER parking lot with about 8 or 9 vehicles parked in it to Paula yesterday. Normally at the time of day when I took it people are circling around looking for open spots.

    Pretty sure someone said this last night: At some point there will be a reckoning for the inflated illness and death predictions. Something tells me that, like so much in contemporary America, we will move on to the next shiny object and all the “experts” will come out with a new round of predictions.

  10. “crotchfruit”

  11. As she left this morning while tripping over multiple sneakers Paula looked over her shoulder and said “Tell those cuntbags to clean up their shoes today”.

    What a woman!

  12. Indeed!

  13. wakey wakey

  14. We’re starting to see the first forecasts for revenue drops at our client hospitals.

    Down 40-60%.

    Our clients include all of NYC (city hospitals- the shitty ones), New Orleans main hospital, but nothing on the West Coast. I think we have a decent sample and it appears that the key drivers of lost revenue will be in places like NC, Chicago, etc.

    They just don’t have the Covid volume predicted and sacrificed their elective business to prepare for it. It was probably the right call given the info available but I doubt anyone will shut down their hospitals on a ‘maybe’ pandemic again. Hospitals will need bailouts.

  15. Also very important: My Pillow is the greatest pillow ever. That fucking guy was right. I love it.


    Kind of a stupid headline, makes me think of a cheesy romance novel, but I liked the editorial. He gets credit for saying “Love Story” is dumb.

  17. Fine. All this work, and pupster gets the love for one gif

    *flounces off

  18. Thicc lamp and black i made me laugh.

  19. We’re starting to see the first forecasts for revenue drops at our client hospitals.

    Down 40-60%.

    And I’ll bet you $20 that this will reignite a new single payer push. I feel safe with my bet, cuz its already starting.

  20. Awesome post, Pupster!

  21. I’m getting 0 complaints on the music. I must not be choosing wisely.

    *cracks open the top 40 folder

  22. Awesome post, Pupster!

    Well played, WeeMan

  23. Last week: we need 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 ventriculatormajigs right now! Let’s retool all of our factories to make the ventriculatormajigs!

    This week: we’re ok, thanks.

  24. I actually like St Louis pizza. It’s weird and tastes very diff than it looks but the cheese is kinda ok.

  25. Well played, Cookie lover

  26. yeah provel cheese is just odd, but it works

  27. It’s hard to describe. It’s slippery?

  28. Your next new car will come with a ventilator.

  29. Every coronavirus briefing

  30. I got a free one when I purchased my panic rifle.

  31. Every elementary school desk will have a built in ventilator.

  32. Briefing is funny.

  33. Your self driving Ford will even breath for you.

    Just sit back, relax, and enjoy your medically induced coma.

  34. This really happened during a meeting last night…

    Why aren’t we seeing coding or charges for ventilators? They must be missing from the billing codes. Do we need special codes for ventilator charges? Who can code ventilator charges? Is there a special code for ventilators?

    Not discussed: there is no huge increase in demand for ventilators.

  35. that’s not possible, I’ve been assured that is why we are all sitting at home without work.

  36. Think of the poor schlubs in the ventilator business. That market is gone for decades.

  37. At least most of the cunts are off the road.

  38. Cookie lover link isn’t working for me.

  39. Been noticing a lot more people driving at speeds of 100+ mph.

    It’s easier now.

  40. It’s going to be a long day, I’ve got carpentry after work if it isn’t raining.

  41. In my experience people are either driving super cautiously or like they’re in a stolen car. Not me of course, I’m driving perfectly.

  42. I’m all about love now. Love and acceptance. Acceptance of my government overlords and busy body neighborhood bitch snitches. Just love. Everything is beautiful and love flows throughout the universe covering us with peace and shit. It’s all good, so what if we have no income? So what if 1/2 of all small businesses won’t be coming back? Who cares? Just let the love flow and know that if we save even one life it’s worth it. Except for abortion, those need to be free and are obviously an essential service.

  43. Williamson 2020.

  44. Check your pocket change

    Not that I actually spend physical money all that often. Any change I ever do accumulate goes in a big jar. My retirement portfolio

  45. Mare finally calms down.

  46. In 2000 years an archeologist is going to dig up a warehouse of a million unused ventilators and conclude that there was a robot war and xhe’s found a mass grave site.

  47. Leon, I don’t expect you to know (actually I do) but I’ve been taking blood ketone meter checks for quite a while. I’m generally stuck on .3.

    I know that .5 and above is “nutritional ketosis.”

    I don’t drink (for the last 3 weeks) and my carbs are under 20 grams total. Stopped the keto treats (still under carb limit but artificial sweeteners).

    Can you think of why I can’t get above .3 on a regular bases? I’ve been keto for years and think I’m pretty well adapted but don’t seem to be using that last 10 pounds of fat for fuel.

  48. Comment by Jimbro on April 7, 2020 9:32 am
    Check your pocket change


    Well shit, I just used all my accumulated quarters to buy scratch-off tickets. Won a hundred bucks but may have screwed the pooch.

  49. Sorry, here’s the cookie lover link, fixed the old one too

    Well Played cookie lover

  50. Don’t know why that would be, Mare. What’s your protein/fat ratio?

  51. Thanks, Leon, I have that but have to leave right now, we are braving Costco. I know you have to do outdoor stuff later but will look at my macros and have some kind of decent answer.

  52. I think all Alan Parsons Project links should be to I Robot. ‘Cuz it’s the acme of their oeuvre.

  53. I bet you can make a really good bong out of a ventilator.

  54. You can be indecent with me, Mare. I don’t mind.

  55. So what if 1/2 of all small businesses won’t be coming back? Who cares? Just let the love flow and know that if we save even one life it’s worth it. Except for abortion, those need to be free and are obviously an essential service.

    If it saves one life, won’t it be worth it? Only one.

  56. I’m becoming more optimistic that the economy will return to normal fairly quickly.

  57. I Robot isn’t even their best song:

    The Turn of a Friendly Card Part 2

    edit: I suck at links today

  58. For comparison:

    I Robot

    (it’s still good, just not their best)

    (plus I like arguing)

  59. Thanks, Jay.

    From somewhere in Iowa:

  60. I don’t get the essential oil one.

  61. Haha, good one

  62. essential workers, laura

  63. Pantry Raid: Onion dip

  64. Heh, love the last step:

    Ordering with Nine Line Apparel

    Be relentlessly patriotic

  65. Everyone must be busy today.

    It’s nice out here, maybe they are all outside. I want to be outside, but the forecast is literally calling for tornadoes later.

  66. Stephen Green noticed what we noticed:

  67. 9 months to full recovery of the markets and economy according to GNDs economists.

    Basically it’s a do over of 2020 with the recovery starting now.

  68. The recovery is all Obama’s

  69. Recovery Summer VI!

  70. Folks are scared. Our office manager told the owner her 21 year old son (!) has anxiety about her coming in to work and now she has to work from home. 85% of her job is answering the phone and taking deliveries.

    My lead programmer refuses to go train customers on site, probably 20% of his job.

    I’ve made a new game of bursting people’s 6 foot social distancing bubbles by pacing in ever decreasing circles while talking.

    Recovery is going to be slow as long as they keep trying to push this as the new plague.

  71. A lot of people are saying the recovery will be slow.

    The people that drive 200K cars are saying it’ll be quick.

    I’m going with the latter and optimism.

  72. Hotspur is optimistic?

  73. The recovery is all Obama’s

    Recovery Summer VI!

    This, in many ways, is the story of Obama.

  74. Yeah, I’m getting sick of the daily freakout too.

  75. There’s a LOT of pent up demand at this point.

  76. haha, BiW from FB: I want Trump to use “Governor Party Tits” in a press conference.

  77. I missed the first hour of Rush, but I went on a walk with Mini-me, which was probably better for me.

  78. Just listened to a 35 year expert in contagious diseases.

    The curve is flat. We’re not doing ourselves any favors by keeping our kids out of school and self quarantining (except for the elderly and the fragile).

    We are not “herd immuning” which is what we’ve done since the beginning of mankind.

    This is not more of a killer than other flues.

    The media created a panic and it’s criminal.

    We will create a second wave because of the isolation.

    It’s about 40 minutes long but worth every minute especially if you watch a lot of news and are freaking out (we’re not).

  79. Interesting work emails this morning. Mandatory training class from 4 to 6 PM, ugh. JPL lost an age discrimination lawsuit and has to pay $10M to employees laid off because they were over 40.

  80. Okay, Leon, you asking me one question may have answered my own.

    Carbs 7%
    Protein 48%
    Fat 45%

    Are you going to tell me to up my protein and lower my fat %? Because that’s what I’d tell myself.

  81. Cheeseburger in Paradise, mare.

  82. If you want to score higher on the keto meter and you’re not improving at the moment, yes. If your body comp is where you want it or still steadily improving, no.

  83. I think it’s best to pop a few milkshakes so you can take a running start at the keto barrier.

  84. The better YouTube version of I Robot, replete with giant robots from old anime shows.

  85. So Rand Paul is recovered from Coronavirus, and is now volunteering at a hospital. Said he tested negative.

    Does that mean he has no virus? Has antibodies? immune now, or never had it, and can catch it again?

  86. Better listen to geoff, he’s known scott for a long time, and scott is pre-med.

  87. I must admit, your I Robot is superior to mine.

  88. Am I the only one annoyed by Please Advise in emails?

  89. Those milkshakes better be low-fat, buster.

  90. I like the Bond vibe.

  91. nice one.

    I still wonder what she sees in him. Money can buy you love, I guess.

  92. He gave her a son. I don’t like to guess other people’s relationships, because what does anyone see in anyone?

  93. Hi guys. I survived another Sr Day and I only had to yell at 5 people. Seniors never thank us for anything.

  94. She was and is a knockout. She could have parlayed that into being ‘kept’ by any number of wealthy men. Chances are, she saw what we see now that he’s laying, well, pretty much his whole life on the line for the country that he clearly loves.

  95. Then again, he wasn’t the president I thought he would be. He’s someone who is enormously successful, doesn’t drink a drop, is by all accounts a good father.

    He’s probably a really nice guy, and someone fun to be around, too. Thanks for pointing out the error of judging things you don’t know, Car in.

  96. The old lady that lives across the street wants to kick your ass. oso. I told her all about you. She’s waiting by the teeter totter.

  97. That Wittkowski interview is pretty good, thanks mare!

  98. I’m not worried. We need to maintain Social Distancing.

  99. Almost time for DJTTV.


  101. 🤣🤣🤣👋🏻 Scott. DJTTV is the best.

  102. Karen is an anti woman slur, now

    Shoe on head, just can’t quit her.

  103. Karen isn’t new. We’ve been calling annoying women Karen’s way way before Boomer stuff became a thing.

  104. If you don’t want to be called a Karen, don’t act like one.

  105. I didn’t mean to be preachy, J’ames. I just … my mom attacks donald trump – his looks, his everything- every day, and it’s just so freakin hypocritical. If the question was “what does HE see in HER” for a woman that wasn’t attractive, women would flip their shit, but it’s perfectly ok when it’s a man’s looks, etc.

    He’s an everyman, he seems decent, he makes things happen. He’s the opposite of a pajama boy and many women find that very freakin attractive. NOT just the money. But someone who gets things done in one way or another. IT can be the guy who rips the car apart and fixes it, or builds something, or a guy who makes things happen in the business world.

    It is VERY attractive.

  106. “Please Advise” tells me the sender is too lazy/stupid to even compose a useful question.

  107. Saw a woman driving her car wearing a mask. @@.

    Have we slipped into an ebola pandemic and no one told me?

  108. Whose turn is it to berate Will for his infrequent visits? Please advise.

  109. Who told Karen she should wear a facemask riding in her car by herself? Pleases advise.

  110. The memes area starting about people dying of Covid whose last words before they die is “who will pay for this”….

    Never let a crises go to waste.

  111. Here we go.

  112. What is the legitimate reason for those who oppose the use of Hydroxychloroquin?

    If, as the media tells us daily, we are all going to die if we get it, why wouldn’t they encourage the use of a drug when someone is in dire straights? In the hospital, in ICU, etc..

    I know the political part, I need someone to explain how they are framing it.

  113. Holy crap, if my dog yelled like that I’d be teaching him to use a word board 24/7.

  114. hahahahahhahahahah, That second dog is straight up making fun of her.

  115. Mowing my lawn this weekend and saw a woman running by herself wearing a face mask. Perhaps she was concerned she was going to run into a cloud of the Wu flu…..or gnats.

  116. My running group asked about running with a mask. HARD no. I can’t run with anything over my mouth or nose. Even when I’m super cold. Most of people concurred. Runner with a facemask was the most annoying type of virtue signaling karen out there.

  117. Good evening. I’d sell both of those dogs to Korean restaurants. No lie.


  119. One day old girl born at *22* weeks. Lies, damn lies, and statistics.

  120. Twitchy VIP??

  121. My food “no buy” is over but I have yet to buy anything else. Three weeks is kind of lame. I wanted to go longer but my husband read where meat distribution may be effected (who knows). Anyhoo we are all meated up again.

    ^^^that fruit is low hanging^^^

    If Trump was smart, he would make an announcement on Easter encouraging all businesses to open on Monday. The curve is flat, America needs to get working and encourage neighbors and friends to help those who feel they need to self-quarantine, Play Ball!!

  122. TIL the Chinese virus is a racist

  123. Mare, I thought about buying meat today but decided to go ahead and eat enough out of the freezer that I can defrost it in a week or two. There are enough farmers here that I could buy from them if needed.

    Which reminds me of the one neighbor with all kinds of farm animals, and Mini-me and I laugh whenever we hear the sheep. There’s at least two little ones with these high-pitched, squeaky “baaa! baaa!” and then one big ‘un with a loud, deep, resonant “BAAAAA!”

  124. Ha! We were down to 4 angus patties, some bacon and cheese. And for some reason lots of green onions. We did go through all the freezer meat. We don’t have a second freezer. SAD!

  125. One of the best investments we made was a chest freezer for the basement.

    They are cheap and quickly pay for themselves.

    On the other hand, they can make power loss pretty expensive.

  126. You will also need a vacuum sealer, and a Restaurant Depot membership.

  127. If “Karen” is an anti-woman slur, that implies it represents all women.

    I…don’t really believe anyone ever thinks these things through. It’s just kind of a reflex now.

  128. Car in, I don’t think you were being judgy, just pointed out a side of the argument to consider.

  129. It’s a crisis in the Argument Room. There aren’t enough liberals for them to feel safe, and speak out.

    *cues up Arms of an Angel

  130. Are you assuming Karen’s gender?

    Wait, are we still doing that foolishness during the pandemic?

  131. She doesn’t spell it that way.

  132. Liberals generally seem to feel safe speaking their (lack of) mind in any context at all, IME.

  133. hahaha, Jonah Goldberg and Steve Hayes launched The Dispatch. The Bullwark wasn’t enough BS conservatism? Good luck going broke, you assholes.

  134. “conservative thought leaders” it says.

  135. You got to wonder did they ever believe anything they wrote before. Goldberg wrote Liberal Fascism and he’s completely oblivious to the Democrats doing exactly what was in the book everyday.

  136. My bet is some intern wrote Liberal Fascism, and Jonah put his name on it.

  137. Those guys aren’t even conservative thought followers at this point.

  138. IKR, Liberal Fascism is really good.

  139. This is interesting;

    If you look at that aircraft and its “N” number, then plug it into the FAA Aircraft registration database;

    You get zip dot shit.
    Something ‘funny’ going on here, I say as an aviation guy…

  140. Does Goldberg and Hayes even have an audience left?

  141. Got up to 80 degrees today. Had to flip on the A/C. Yesterday the furnace was running.

  142. Daniel’s emphasis remained politics.

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