Meme if you want to

What Everyone wants to do, across the nation.


Your mom has soup, too!

And her little brother too!

At least Hillary tested negative…

and now for the pun

106 Comments

  1. oopsies, Jay, blowing out margins is easy and fun!

  2. Got this from Candace Owens:

    The number one killer in America is Heart Disease. 1,002 people a day die.

    Did you know that if you die from heart disease right now, and they determine you to be an asymptomatic carrier of Covid-19 in your post-mortem, they legally add your death to the coronavirus death toll?

  3. I’l
    wai
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    mem

  4. Fixed.

    Hey Jay, I resized the pictures so the first dimension is around 460. Wordpoop doesn’t do it for you when you paste them in.

  5. Funnier now

    Thanks Pupster

  6. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is being himself on Twitter again. Tell me again why we are listening to a third-rate pedant.

  7. Third-rate…you’re too kind.

  8. linky for tryson being an ass?

    wakey wakey

  9. Plenty of other authors I can read. By by brad

  10. But if I need toilet paper … I have about 5 of his books

  11. yeah I usually set the width, thanks for fixing

  12. haven’t bought his last two. Scott horvath would get his asss kicked by mitch rapp anyway. even the new feminine one

  13. I haven’t bought any since my dad passed.

  14. There’s an interview somewhere with Vince Flynn wherein he discusses a lunch he had with General Patreus and it’s a foreshadowing of Patreus being a douche.

    Brad Thor, you’re not helping. No, really, you think you’re some kind of hero, but you’re not. Conservatives do not need you bashing the most conservative President, certainly in my lifetime.

  15. I’m pretty convinced that Twitter is the worst possible thing to ever exist.

    But it also shows you inner thoughts, which is instructive when determining a person’s worth.

    Blue check = don’t need to listen to you. Very helpful.

  16. I completely stopped reading twitter about 2 weeks ago and it was the best thing I could have done to keep the crazy level out of my life.

  17. What the jackass said. Jerk.

  18. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is being himself on Twitter again. Tell me again why we are listening to a third-rate pedant.

    He’s not fit to shine the shoes of my high school calculus teacher.

  19. I like this response:

    You can always count on the nerd to say something that is technically accurate, emotionally vacant, socially awkward, and historically meaningless.

  20. We went to the moon. It was expensive as hell, but it was done for a lot of reasons other than cleanly economic. Going was the key, it was the driver for a bunch of enabling tech that we needed for other things (like ICBMs…). Staying would have made Afghanistan look like cheap entertainment.

  21. Kneel also thinks philosophy is unworthy of study. You’d think the “smart” crowd would have disowned him after that, and yet here we are.

  22. Kneel also thinks philosophy is unworthy of study. You’d think the “smart” crowd would have disowned him after that, and yet here we are.

    The “smart” crowd disdains any serious philosophy as well. It’s all scientism and ethics 101 utilitarianism.

  23. Hi, if you buy a MyPillow today I guarantee…

    haha, the left hates mypillows now.

  24. Oh they love some philosophy, it just has to the left kind of philosophy. And Kneel (great name, keeping it) is full of it.

  25. And this is why Trump wins

    A reporter noticing how a properly place spokesman really drives home a point. Of course Bill Kristol and the Bullwork are all sorts of bent out of shape.

  26. I know the Left hates real philosophy, but they used to at least to pretend to be interested in it as a way of signalling their high-mindedness and intellectualism. That died at some point.

  27. The way the media is shrieking over MyPillow talking about God makes me wonder if some of them are truly possessed by Satan.

  28. I don’t remember hearing the media get bent over the billions Obama gave his cronies during his bullshit stimulus package.

    At least America is getting some masks out of the deal.

  29. It’s interesting times when merely wanting to support yourself financially makes you selfish.

  30. Worring about how you’re going to keep your house and feed your family= selfish

  31. My entire adult life I’ve been lectured to have 3-6 months of savings in case of hard times or unemployment. Don’t put yourself massively into debt, live within your means, etc., etc., etc. Now I’m supposed to be sympathetic because a lot of people weren’t doing that?

  32. Many businesses don’t have 3-6 months of saving to keep them afloat- they can weather SLOW periods. But zero? But still pay rent, etc.

    When then businesses go under, a lot of people won’t have jobs to go back to.

  33. Not to mention, all the losses that will reign down on those business owners.

  34. Most people have near zero savings.

  35. And, I was also pointing out how … interesting it is that merely wanting to provide for your family is selfish. You have to swallow a whole lot of assumptions to get in line with that thinking.

  36. What happened to all the homeless people defecating on the street in San Francisco? Have we determined allowing that kind of thing is a health issue yet?

  37. I saw some liberal yammering about that yet earlier. I think he was bitching, though, about the heartlessness of people being critical of folks shitting on the street.

  38. What happened? The my pillow guy said something about connecting with god and the press lost it’s empty mind?

  39. Many businesses don’t have 3-6 months of saving to keep them afloat- they can weather SLOW periods. But zero? But still pay rent, etc.

    When then businesses go under, a lot of people won’t have jobs to go back to.

    I’m not talking about businesses, which is a separate matter with it’s own issues, just the irresponsibility of individuals.

  40. I’m not completely without sympathy for people worried about whether or not they’ll have a job when this is all over, or how to support their families in the meanwhile. And even businesses which do the right things (not overextending themselves, preparing during good years for bad years,etc.) are going to suffer. I simply think that a) a short hard quarantine of several weeks would do a lot less damage to the economy than months and months of half measures which only stretch out the pain and uncertainty, and b) that this outbreak has exposed a lot of risk that people assumed which they really shouldn’t have. The latter point is an issue that at some point needs to be addressed.

  41. It’s not “several weeks”. We’re on week 3 and there is talk about another 4 plus. that’s 7.

    So, after 7 weeks of businesses being closed, how many go under? How many were “new” businesses? Or recently expanded. Business that operate under the assumption of zero income for 2+ plus (while still having expenses) – not “losses” …zero. Nationwide.

  42. And I’m not really concerned so much about myself. Pat’s been planning for this . He thinks we’ll be able to weather – and I hope he’s right. But we’re a younger business that has been trying to grow. We employ people. We provide a service. We weren’t some reckless folks playing fast and easy.

    To tisk tisk and just tell everyone they should have saved …

  43. I simply think that a) a short hard quarantine of several weeks would do a lot less damage to the economy than months and months of half measures which only stretch out the pain and uncertainty, and b) that this outbreak has exposed a lot of risk that people assumed which they really shouldn’t have.

    ——-

    My point all along, why do ANY of this if it’s not warranted. And I have yet to be convinced it is.

    30% unemployment is being talked about when this is over. You don’t think that’s a disaster that didn’t have to happen?

  44. We’ve saved and that will be gone. That is not good for a business that oftentimes does not see a check for months.

    If people looked at the real numbers of what people die from yearly, this situation is (possibly) comical numbers wise.

  45. As a business, saving for a rainy day is as risky a strategy as not saving. If you stockpile, you aren’t spending that money on expansions or improvements, and you’ll potentially lose out to competitors who didn’t save. It’s a gamble either way, and you’ll likely be punished for guessing wrong no matter what.

  46. My no buy is smart but I’m finding it mildly challenging. I technically have another month of this. Not sure my food stores will last that long.

    I’m embarrassed to say shopping online was a decent diversion to forced quarantining.

    I need celery seed, an expensive “spice” to make homemade coleslaw and tartar sauce.

    Nope.

    I made keto strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting yesterday and had no food coloring. I don’t think my husband liked them as much as the colored ones my daughter made and the recipe is exactly the same, just no coloring. Irritating.

    I would like to find $20 to get ziplock bags, limes, celery seed and more butter.

  47. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 31, 2020 10:32 am
    As a business, saving for a rainy day is as risky a strategy as not saving. If you stockpile, you aren’t spending that money on expansions or improvements, and you’ll potentially lose out to competitors who didn’t save. It’s a gamble either way, and you’ll likely be punished for guessing wrong no matter what.

    ——–

    This is absolute truth.

  48. Mare, you have a spare bedroom, right?

    Can we move into it?

  49. As a business, saving for a rainy day is as risky a strategy as not saving. If you stockpile, you aren’t spending that money on expansions or improvements, and you’ll potentially lose out to competitors who didn’t save. It’s a gamble either way, and you’ll likely be punished for guessing wrong no matter what.

    If you “stockpile”, it is classified as profit, and the government taxes the shit out of it.

    Nobody “stockpiles”.

  50. Yes, Hotspur, I have 2 spares. I will have to take in a section 8 client if this keeps up.

    *shudders thinking about the gross people around here*

  51. That’s why Hotspur recommended getting ahead of the curve. Choose your freeloaders before the government assigns one or more to you

  52. Seal’s Crazy came out 30 years ago.

  53. Choose your freeloaders before the government assigns one or more to you

    I really need to find some hot skanks willing to garden for me.

  54. Essentially turning the whole country into a giant Home Owners’ Association.

  55. Garden skanks can polish your garden gnome

  56. gnome saying?

  57. Dat’s da plan.

  58. Grody.

  59. I have lots of wee brownish-red mushrooms growing where the wood mulch paths meet the garden beds. I should take pics and see if Leon can ID them. Gilly little things.

  60. Might be honey mushrooms, but that’s based purely on description and the presence of wood mulch.

  61. It’s probably coronavirus.

  62. I should stress that I’m not really a wild mushroom expert in the slightest. I know about a dozen of them well and half are edible and the other half are the closest imitators of the half that are edible.

  63. Seeing pics from NYC. Dumbasses have their noses sticking out above the masks. Good job there.

  64. Roamy, there’s never been a doubt in my mind that some are. The rest are just weak.

  65. Er, about the posessed journo thing. It’s well known your average New Yawkah is an idiot.

  66. Speaking of idiots, I haven’t seen much if any mention of Chocolate Jesus and the Wookie.

    Probably up to their necks in sluts at the moment.

  67. thanks for the smile, HS, I needed that

  68. Anna Luna wants to unseat Charlie Crist.

    AnnaLuna

  69. I love the ‘shit is about to get real’ meme. Never gets old.

  70. She seems nice.

  71. Charlie Crist is a despicable human being. I’ve met him. He’s three times oranger than Orange Man.

    Only person to ever lose an election in all three major political parties.

    I hope she schlongs him.

  72. >>>The way the media is shrieking over MyPillow talking about God makes me wonder if some of them are truly possessed by Satan.

    I just said this to Mr. B. Like a crucifix to a vampire or Holy water on hillary, it makes them hiss.

  73. YASS! Guy next door hired a tree service to cut a view in the rough behind his house (he wants to see the golf course). I talked* Mr. B. into hiring him to take out two dead ash and their stumps. He’s going to throw in some trimming up of our healthy trees. $700.

    *there are two trees Mr. B has take down over at daughter’s…one this coming weekend because half of it blew down the day before yesterday and landed on the neighbor’s fence. Who knows when he could get around to the ones in this yard.

  74. $700 is a good price around these parts for two trees. I assume they’re not grinding the stumps.

    Call Scott.

  75. There were no atoms being split in this household.

    Fucking LOL. Ace is a hoot sometimes.

  76. HS, he still has such a way with words. I’m no longer doing the Supremes STOP. I no longer say “Please”. We open on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 7-9 for Seniors. Seniors don’t understand Social Distancing. I rudely told multiple people to “Back Off!”. The 9 O’clock people for the most part were pissed off that Seniors get to shop early. Only 1 person thanked me for Sam’s letting Seniors shop early. We provide “Concierge” services for Members that don’t feel comfortable coming in during the 2 hour period. 31 Members took advantage. Rolling out thermometers and taking temperatures of each associate before entering building is rolling out soon. $20

  77. Rolling out thermometers and taking temperatures of each associate before entering building is rolling out soon.

    “Forehead scanning?”

    “Rectal.”

    “That’s Sam’s Club for you.”

  78. CoAl, we’re getting the fancy laser thermometers. 🤪

  79. I’m stealing that joke, Colex.

  80. Comment by osoloco11 on March 31, 2020 5:41 pm
    CoAl, we’re getting the fancy laser thermometers.

    Fancy rectal laser thermometers!

  81. Every employee gets screened on the way in to work. There are only two entrances we can use and they took the badge scan entry doors and turned those off. You get issued a mask and a paper bag. The bag is for your mask when you take it off to eat or drink. The masks don’t have the plastic strip at top and fog my glasses up when I breathe. Rectal scanning is strictly voluntary at this point.

  82. CoAl, Dan is stealing your joke. He’s targeting a specific manager showing up for work with a rectal thermometer.

  83. Fancy rectal laser thermometers!

    Well, that will get rid of your hemorrhoids.

  84. LOL, Osita. Good for Dan.

  85. MJ will rectal scan anyone that steps up.

  86. Texas Jews BIL had the Rona. He was asymptomatic. Except he lost his sense of taste/smell. Improving. If 80% of asymptomatic lose their sense of smell/taste, isn’t that a symptom? I don’t know. My self test involved a dog fart so vile, I lost nose hair. Dan just had the dog fart Rona test.

  87. >>>I assume they’re not grinding the stumps.

    Call Scott.

    They are grinding out the stumps. That is what made Mr. B. agree to it. If not, I gave him Scott’s recipe.

  88. HAHAHAHA, Oso!

  89. Great deal, beasn.

  90. I love Dan. I love his cooking. I need a greasy burger. I need something from a fast food place. I need Popeyes hood sammich.

  91. Oso, that’s funny. Our new pup was gassing us out too, but we got her this pro-biotic and digestive enzyme powder to add to her food. Gas problem gone.

  92. https://tinyurl.com/wbgyu5v

  93. haven’t had the Popeye’s sandwich yet. Brother said meh, but he’s not a spice fan. Worth it, oso?

  94. Better than H8 CHKN. I have to have the regular due to allergies. Still better than CFA.

  95. Thermadin, my 16 yr old has senior moments. She doesn’t know she’s gaseous

  96. https://tinyurl.com/ulpxfs7

  97. Miss Teschmacher!!!

  98. Kudos to your mom, she’s a trooper….

    https://tinyurl.com/yx3j3ka6

  99. Aww, Sonic the Hedgehog looks fun. Wait, Jim Carrey’s in it? Nope.

  100. Democrats gotta democrat

    https://tinyurl.com/sgg8xce

  101. I got that reference, Roamy.

  102. I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE

  103. I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS!

  104. Desmond encrypted Ricky’s programs.


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