Itching For Spring

February, the alleged “Shortest Month”, is dragging this year. February of 2020 even has an extra day. The walls are closing in. Cabin Fever. Which is like Jungle Fever. Just whiter. And with flannel and fleece rather than loincloths and animal prints. Winter has really not been that bad this time around the sun. We’ve had a few big storms and the ground has been covered with snow for weeks. But other than a few day stretch a few weeks back it hasn’t been bitter cold all that often. With the days getting longer and the snow melting here and here on the field spring can’t be too far behind. March is a long hill to climb and we always get whacked with a good storm sometime during the month.

David Roback, the founding member of Mazzy Star just passed away. I had the CD this song was on and played it often when it was released. One of those songs you either love or think is total shite.








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Fat Tuesday, Thursday Version


Have a great day and give someone a non-creepy hug or tell them how much you appreciate them in your life (Option B probably safer if you’re in a #MeToo environment).


  1. Hallo der

  2. Not sure why my first link is fuxxored.

    something something frog waiting around for a leap year meme

    At this point what does it matter?

  3. Hey Satchmo.


  4. Dem candidate nicknames


  5. Biden

    Plugs, Slow Joe, Lyin’ Biden

  6. Warren


  7. Steyer


  8. Sanders

    Crazy Bernie

  9. Buttigieg

    Mayo Pete

  10. Bloomberg

    Mini Mike

  11. Klobuchar

    I got nothing

  12. I wonder if Dems get the same degree of mirth out of the nicknames they assign to Trump. The one that always lets me know that I’m reading a Lefty’s comment is “Drumpf”. They love that one. I think conservatives use Orange Man to make fun of the Libs more than they actually use it themselves.

  13. Donnie Two Scoops is my favorite.

  14. Pepe, the pic of Christopher Robin’s toys was precious.

  15. D2S is like a rap star name

  16. I’ve only ever seen a photo of Pooh so seeing the whole gang was great

  17. D2S with Pooh And Gang

  18. I think I’ve had too much coffee. Made it to 0400 this morning before being dog mobbed.

  19. Comment by Jimbro on February 27, 2020 6:30 am
    D2S with Pooh And Gang


    I like it!

    My youngest daughter LOVED watching Pooh. Very fond memories.

  20. Warren – Lieawatha

  21. Quid Pro Joe Biden

  22. Plagiarist Joe Biden – lifted a whole speech back in ’88.

  23. Plugs is still my favorite.

  24. Gropin’ Joe Biden – Gee, he’s been in politics too long to havre this many nicknames!

  25. Joe has only been in politics for 46 years! If you elect him President he’ll get stuff done!

  26. daughter LOVED watching Pooh. Very fond memories.
    Just wait till you hear about the reboot of Winnie The Pooh where he and the gang become social justice warriors to prevent a honey harvest. The worst part? Pooh is now an Asian lesbian amputee and Christopher Robin wears girl’s clothes because he’s “questioning”.

  27. Shut your whore mouth, Jimbro!

    Don’t you have a leg to cut off or something to make money on unsuspecting patients???

  28. Tonsils are where the money’s at. An open oropharynx looks like a gold mine to surgeons.

  29. So I’m reading Altered Carbon. So far, every single change they made for the sake of Netflix:

    1) Was a detriment to the narrative
    2) With one notable exception, appears to have been done purely to reduce the number of white people, and the exception was only because they didn’t want to pay the estate of Jimi Hendrix for the use of his likeness
    3) The “muh diversity!” changes literally make the plot make less sense
    4) Added a “muh social justice!” and class warfare angle that’s much more even-handed in the book, at least so far

    I don’t blame the author for cashing in, and it’s not the worst translation to screen, but they mangled this story for sake of Leftist shite and nothing else.

  30. Ah, shoegaze. The 90s music that we all know and love.

    You know Slowdive released an album after 22 years! They look…different now.

  31. When is the S Carolina shitshow so we can finally put Joe out to pasture.

    Oh, by the way, I have a special treat for you guys that I’ve been working on.

    Has anyone been contacted by the Bernie campaign?

  32. The guys all kept their hair. Surprising.

  33. wakey wakey

  34. Ah, shoegaze. The 90s music that we all know and love.

    This is Car in bait, isn’t it?

  35. Never heard of slowdive.

    90’s was pearljam and Nirvana and etc.

  36. One of my crossfit buds – his wife girlfriend went in to be induced last night (she’s not overdue or anything). She’s Erin’s age – and they dated under a year and got preggo. he’s a VERY nice guy and I really like him (he’s a bit older). She’s super fake and I do not like. Typical woman type that I’m not fond of – spent her last few months of pregnancy laying around the house. No social media pictures at all (which is HER thing) so I’m assuming she’s gained. I can predict how her labor is going to go. But that’s just me being a bitch, so I’ll just leave it unsaid.

  37. I think beasn and I could probably really get in trouble if we were to ever sit around and talk together w/o supervision.

  38. Tool tickets go on sale in a little over 24 hours.

  39. Why would you need tickets? Lowes sells tools directly all day long.

  40. Comment by Car in on February 27, 2020 9:11 am
    I think beasn and I could probably really get in trouble if we were to ever sit around and talk together w/o supervision.

    Sounds like a perfect plan for Lapeerapalooza 3.

  41. I know I don’t need to do this, but I will anyway:

    TOOL tickets go on sale in a little over 24 hours.

  42. I know I don’t need to do this, but I will anyway:

    TOOL tickets go on sale in a little over 24 hours.

    Sorry, but Tool tickets are already sold out.

    All of them. Forever.

  43. You can actually see the entire video of ^that with vocals. Maynard keeps singing, keeping the dude pinned the entire time.

  44. Well, the chances of me getting them when they go on sale are slim BECAUSE THE FUCKING BOTS SUCK.

    But I will get a ticket somehow.

  45. Jimbro, sorry man but that first link caused my browser to lock up and I had to restart three times. I yoinked it outta there. What was it supposed to be? I was afraid to even view it while editing the post.

  46. February’s almost gone and zero progress on the personal front. This poses extreme practical issues which I will not go over due to personal disgust with people who do things the way I’ve been doing them. Suffice it to say I’m in the tricky situation of having as my only hope intervention by a deity I’ve been quarelling with for four decades.

    Folks, I’m not going to beg for help. I’m just going to ask you make sure your kids don’t turn out like my sorry ass. This is no way to live.

  47. First linked image was a bullfrog sitting by a pool saying something about waiting for a leap year. I think it was a facedouche image I found when looking for “leap year meme”.

    I’ll go edit it out entirely

  48. Laura beat me to it

  49. Sounds like a perfect plan for Lapeerapalooza 3.

    Pretty much any meetup. See also: parking lots, wiserbud, tushar, and police officers.

    Much fun can be had.

  50. See also: Car in and laura outside the door in the morning, deciding if it’s ok to wake people up.

  51. See also: MJ in a hotel room with a tiger.

  52. MJ, Hope Sandoval (Mazzy Star singer) looks much different with her new band as well. As does her then audience including me.

  53. See also: Dave, wiserbud, room full of postal workers, vodka.

  54. Wait, I think HS is in the postal workers story too.

  55. See also: Russ, race track, helmets.

  56. Brotim, this will all iron out.

  57. Michael Ryan, executive director of the World Health Organisation’s emergencies programme, said Iran’s 10 per cent mortality rate – five times higher than China – was probably due to milder cases of the disease not being picked up.

  58. As I understand it, most Moslem countries smoke like chimneys. Chinese fatalities so far seem to correlate with heavy smoking iirc, so Iran might be suffering more for that reason.

  59. Huh. Interesting.

  60. COVID-19 is known to operate on an enzyme more present in Asians, men, and smokers, so the pattern fits.

  61. SO much fucking knowledge here.

  62. And since Iranians are … Asians …


    That’s just cigarettes, doesn’t tell us about hookahs or other pipes. China is really high one the list, and the male vs female disparity likely puts the men near the top of the list. Iran is lower, near the US, but this is again only cigarettes, which generally have filters.

  64. Iran is a mix of Persians and Semitic Arabs, closer to Caucasian than Mongoloid.

  65. But yes, “Asian” per Yooropeen media. Just like Russia, right?

  66. Well, there’s asian in Caucasian, so there’s that.

  67. Well, it’s the European media that has me convinced.

  68. They fall all over themselves to beat down Trump, without giving him credit for cutting off travelers from China. Which he was right to do.

    He was right to cut off the 7 countries that are sponsors of terror too. Oh wait, they happen to be muslim, too, so that was labeled racist too.

  69. I presume it means East Asian, genetic distinction and all that.

  70. I went back to Oriental for that. Don’t GAF.

  71. One of the things I like about Trump is him telling it like it is without using deceptive euphemisms. All the usual politician bullshit will come back some day, it’s inevitable, but I’m hoping he managed to wake up enough people who can see through the lies to last until the next person steps in to shake things up.

  72. I have been forcefully assured that “muslim” is not a race.

    Except when it’s convenient to pretend that it is for the purposes of destroying civilization.

  73. It is raining buckets sideways now. Hopefully we keep power/internet. Supposed to turn into freezing rain/mix later

  74. We’re on a second snow day in a row here.

  75. I’m going to need every hostage to attempt to buy me tickets to Tool tomorrow.

    I’m sorry. But it’s the only way.

    None of us will get them – they’ll all go to the bots. But I’ll then know I did everything I could.

    Last time, I think we just decided my connection was too slow. I’m considering getting in my car, driving to where I have the best connection – and just using my phone.

  76. Carin, is Erin the only child living at home? I think I’m missing a boy that is still in highschool.

  77. Dicks for everyone!

  78. Carin, is Erin the only child living at home? I think I’m missing a boy that is still in highschool.

    There was a boy. Unfortunately he was traded for another newfie. It’s all for the best. He went to live on a farm where he can run and play and not drive Car in crazy.

  79. Comment by MJ on February 27, 2020 10:54 am
    Dicks for everyone!


    I’ve got all I can handle. hahahahahah

  80. Comment by MJ on February 27, 2020 10:54 am
    Dicks for everyone!

  81. Well, Newfies are pretty neat, so…

  82. I think beasn and I could probably really get in trouble if we were to ever sit around and talk together w/o supervision.


    If we’re in a restaurant, we’d have to find an isolated table in the back or just take the food out to the parking lot…or park. Or we can just whisper but then I wouldn’t hear half of it…’WHO DID LAURA BURY IN HER GARDEN?!’

  83. Putting this here to make TeeRoy twitch

  84. Hillary Clinton took more money from Harvey Weinstein than any other democrat.

    Epstein, Weinstein, Weiner, her husband Bill……

    How many sex predators are in your life?

  85. Epstein, Weinstein, Weiner

    The trifecta of jewish sleaze.

  86. To be fair, she’s taken more money from any ______ than any other Democrat.

    The Clintons are at the pinnacle of grifting.

    Just for laughs I went to the Clinton Foundation to see what type of jobs they have open. 90% of them are in food service. They are actually staffing their restaurant with donations. I mean, it’s brilliant.

  87. I can’t imagine the trauma of having 58 people in my life who’ve committed suicide.

    She must suffer so.

  88. I’m going to need every hostage to attempt to buy me tickets to Tool tomorrow.

    What happens if we wind up buying at the same time?

  89. The Clinton Crime Foundation has a restaurant? WTF would want to eat there? Is this supposed to be the company cafeteria or it’s just an empty room with a stove kind of sham?

  90. How many sex predators are in your life?


    Seriously, when everyone around you is a creep, it’s you. You are also a creep. You’re attracting them. Birds of a feather.

  91. We’ve been following that case, too, mare. Pretty sure they killed those kids. Too many evil, greedy, weirdos out there.

  92. Ethan is my youngest. 18. Contrary to the rumors he has NOT be traded for a newfie (deal fell through). He graduates this year.

  93. That story is just as crazy as the Tenn baby story. Can’t believe they still don’t know where the kids are – I first read that story a few months back.

  94. JFC, these people are fucking savages.

  95. Wont take long until people don’t seek out care when they’re sick. Entire country gets wiped out by Covid-19. Maybe this is god’s plan?

  96. This story is so crazy:
    So many last names and missing/dead people. I’m going to need a diagram.

  97. Nork Mini Theater:

    KPA official: You sick?
    Nork: I’ve got a fever, and a little cough
    KPA official: You come right now for shot
    Nork: Is this some sort of vaccination?
    KPA Official: yea … something like that.


  98. Jimbro – right? I needed a whiteboard to follow.

    /narrator’s voice / “she didn’t get a whiteboard, so she couldn’t follow”

  99. If you didn’t read the baby story- they’re now searching ponds for the baby.

  100. Just the other day I was trying to figure out why there is a flu season.

    Take your vitamin D

  101. …….and avoid large gatherings of people such as Tool concerts.

  102. Mare, if you want to read about another crazy case, there is one here in the STL area. Pam Hupp. Dateline even covered it. Three dead….
    1. a woman dying from cancer who shortly before her death, made Pam the beneficiary of her life insurance policy ‘for safe keeping…meant to go to her daughters.
    2. Pam’s elderly mother who ‘slipped and fell off a balcony’ to her death.
    3. a disabled man lured into her home for ‘work’ to take the heat off herself.

    Then there was an innocent man (number one’s husband) who was convicted, served time, later vindicated for 1st one.

    And Lincoln County’s justice system’s negligence and f*ck-ups which had to be redone by law enforcement of a neighboring county. Judge in the case was suspended without pay.

    It’s a long read but interesting if you’re into crime stories.

  103. Lady in my office had a parishoner pass at age 42 of a blood disease. Didn’t even know it was there until she went in the hospital Sunday complaining of ankle pain. She went into a medically induced coma and simply went from there. Left a husband and child behind.

    You never know when you’re out of tomorrows. Leave nothing on the table.

  104. That’s sad.

  105. More detail on her luring/killing the mentally challenged man into her home. The Russ below is #1’s husband mentioned above. This gal is pure evil.

    “Pamela Hupp thought she found the “patsy” who could help get “some heat off her” related to a 2011 murder near Troy, Mo., officials said Tuesday.

    She somehow lured a gullible, brain-damaged man into her car last week and took him to her home in O’Fallon, then called 911 and emptied a revolver into his body as an operator listened, they said.

    Officials speculate that Hupp told Louis R. Gumpenberger, 33, that she was a producer for NBC’s “Dateline” program, and was willing to pay $900 to $1,000 for him to help her re-enact a 911 call.

    When police arrived at her house to find Gumpenberger dead, Hupp told police that he had jumped into her vehicle and held a knife to her neck, demanding that she take him to her bank to get “Russ’ money.”

  106. “… we have treated them with the vitamin D hammer, as coined by my colleague …”
    Your mom will never be sick

    I think the Vitamin D idea is valid. And it’s wicked cheap in comparison to the wonder drugs

  107. The vitamin D thing is interesting. I really should try some sessions in a tanning booth and see if it helps me feel any better.

  108. So, vitamin D is a flu vaccine? Got it.

    Thanks Dr scott!

  109. Maybe online shopping is why Bernie is doing so well. Make millinials shop for their food in stores.

  110. Btw, Hupp was convicted this past August for the disabled guy’s death. Because she got a life sentence not sure if they’re going to finish investigating the other two deaths.

  111. Beassnsnsnsnssnns, I heard about that story via 2 separate podcasts. The case is so insane several popular crime podcasts have used reported on it.

  112. If you are not taking VItamin D supplements you are wrong.*

    *Unless you get 15 minutes of sunshine on your full body every day.

  113. I’m telling Scott that the vit D thing is correlation, not causation but nobody listens to vile flubbery hunchbacks when we start talking about health.

    There are a lot of other things that happen in Summer that correlate with the end of the flu season. We’re not cooped up together breathing the same stale indoor air so much, we’re not using so much of our body resources to maintain our core temperature, we have access to fresh local produce, sunlight not only helps with vitamin D, it also literally disinfects our skin and the surfaces we come in contact with, etc.

    You get the idea.

  114. Including perineum sunning, mare?

  115. Jimbro?

  116. Oh come on, everyone knows book learning is overrated, laura.

  117. More recent studies have sort of kicked the vitamin D thing in the teeth. You make D when you have sunshine, true, but taking D isn’t the same as sun exposure.

    Finnish saunas or trips to AZ are the real cure.

  118. Forget Socialized Medicine! Socialized Saunas!!

  119. but taking D isn’t the same as sun exposure.


    Correct, but it helps.

  120. *lifts giant ball sack overhead

    Just sunning the ‘ol taint

  121. *blog goes blind*

  122. It works.

    I’ve been flu free for 2 days.

  123. If you are not taking VItamin D supplements you are wrong.

    i’m allergic to what they make the D out of and I forgot what non-allergenic D lauraw, suggested. In summer I make sure I’m out in the sun every day for 10-15 minutes, mid day. In cooler months, I’ll sit out in my shorts and tee for 20m. Can’t do that when it’s below 50 degrees.

    Husband finally got the D in his blood tested. His is as low as mine and he ingests a lot more Vit. D (milk) in his diet.

  124. Way back when I was in grade school, I don’t ever remember a time when flu, or even strep, tore through the place. Difference between school then and school when my kids attended or now….we had floor to ceiling windows on one side of the room, which, many times had to be open during winter months because the radiators got too warm. They were also open in warm months because no A/C. We had two recesses and an hour lunch (more fresh air and sun exposure).
    Now classrooms are hermetically sealed and time for lunch/recess, reduced.

  125. Beasn, strep and flu are for babies. We would get lice. I wasn’t supposed to eat off street carts or drink untreated water. Allergic to cholera vaccine. Navy wanted to send me back to family in the CONUS. I was 10. In VA, we would get TB tests in school. For whatever reason, the child needle didn’t work on me. My dad would have to come to school on TB day. Ok an adult needle, or verify that the Naval Hospital was testing me. I was a Strep carrier, without actually having Strep. Weirdo. My mom and Grammo were/are MRSA carriers without actually having MRSA. Jimbro, please explain. It has never made sense to me.

  126. To my knowledge (certainly as an adult) I’ve never had the flu.

    I do know that when we lived in Texas and had the least amount of sun exposure…ever, both my husband and I had serious cancerous moles removed. Before and since we have not had any problems.

    I’m not forced to be around a lot of people but I do fly a lot and have been spared what incubates in the Petri dish called an airplane.

  127. I had a stomach flu in high school.

    You never forget projectile vomit.

  128. My head is going to explode. Somehow one of our custodial accounts has FOUR VERSIONS. And bookkeeping (which would have created these FOUR VERSIONS) said there wasn’t enough for something, based upon the amount for one of the FOUR VERSIONS that was NOT the version I specified. Because THEY DID NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE CODE I SUPPLIED.

    And I’m being told *I* have to look through and straighten this out?!?

    No wonder when I get home I just want to ball up somewhere and not deal with the world.

  129. We all had the flu this winter.

    Little guy was totally fine one minute…the next…projectile vomit.

    We were both a little surprised and laughed about it.

    Not funny the second time or the sixth.

  130. The problem with socialized saunas is the same as with nudism: Quality control.

  131. You never forget projectile vomit.



  132. I had something like flu, but never puked. I also didn’t eat for those two days, so that may have helped. Fever topped out at 102F or so.

  133. The last thing I consumed before the event was apple cider.

    It took me about 30 years to get over my ciderphobia.

  134. The smart people in Hartford are talking about putting a 35% sales tax on ammunition.

  135. Paul, Sarah, and Rebecca are all currently at home with the flu. If I wasn’t in North Carolina with Mom, I would probably have it, too.

    And we all had flu shots this year.

  136. vomit = norovirus

    flu = not vomit

  137. Late last night, Mom announced that she is ready to go. She is looking forward to seeing Michelle, her mother, and my sister.

  138. Geez, TiFW. Prayers for grace and healing, though it never seems quite sufficient.

  139. Prayers for you and your mom, Teresa, and for your family as well.

  140. Tough times, Teresa. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  141. Sorry to hear that, but glad she is ok with it.

  142. Thanks, Jimbro. 👊🏻 Prayers for your mom and family, TiFW.

  143. Prayers for tifw and family for clarity, perspective, dignity and peace.

    @ jimbro. You are correct those vids really hit my buttons. The person that allows that to happen needs the shit kicked out of them. I’ve thrown more than one macho man handing a newbie a firearm the newbie couldn’t control off the range as a RO at the NRA range.

    The attempts to politicize this pandemic is so shameful as to warrant physical reprisals.

    Milwaukee shooter was 51 yrs old black Male so you won’t be hearing much more about it in the future.

  144. Unpossible. I’ve been assured that only ciswhitehetero males commit violent acts with firearms.

  145. True Story. Crime/Shootings pretty much stays in the valley until white people are affected. I was talking to a local in HI. Lots of crime in HI. Personal crime. Home break ins. Targeted tourists. Tourism is all that. NM is HI without an ocean. My theory is Pineapple Mexicans. Luau=Matanza. Local couldn’t stop laughing. Threw Filipinos under the bus..


  147. Beasn?

  148. Latex trousers for hostage mens giant schwetty balls.

  149. LOL, Pepe! A touch of dense on top of a huge dose of lazy.

  150. Jay, I wonder if Yeltsin’s trip to JSC was the groundwork for Shuttle-Mir, which then led to the International Space Station.

  151. re: smoking, can confirm Jordan (ranked #9, China is #15) has a bunch of smokers. First time I’d seen an ashtray in a Marriott room in years.

  152. Winter made sure we’d know it hadn’t left yet. 8″ of snow in the last 24 hours. Supposed to be 52 and rainy on Monday.

  153. I have Ebola
    Last night I was in the pharmacy picking up my monthly stuff. There was a line backed up into the cough syrup isle. I should not have been surprised but a mom with a 6yo who was hacking up her lungs spent 15 mins deciding what syrup to buy. The line did not move the whole time and I, 24 hours later have Ebola. I think that is a rather quick incubation period but I don’t think it is a coincidence.

    I am now trying to drown it in alcohol. I mean why not? Jimbro can tell me what BAC to shoot for to kill it. My liver is tough I can do it!

  154. good stuff Laura made me LOL

  155. Vmax, go .33 or go home.

  156. on it Pendejo

  157. No liquor until Easter for me. I’m already regretting that, which tells me it was probably a good idea.

  158. It is medicinal Leon kill some viruses

  159. I’ve been drinking a few ounces of something strong nearly every day after work this year, and I’ve been sick most of the last two months, so it’s not been much hell on that front lately.

  160. For Osita

  161. How much vitamin D in booze?

  162. I passed a Charger GT on the way home tonight. I have been thinking about a 4wd for the snow here in Colorado. Who needs a Jeep when I can get a Mopar or no car?

  163. A few oz Leon? Go for .5!

  164. Unless it has cream or milk in it Roamy not so much (Russians?) but that is what vitamins are for!

  165. maybe I can stroke a 6 cyl SYWM! Help Mare!

  166. Other than the ebola, how are you liking CO, Vmax?

  167. Daphne enjoyed Rochelle’s perspective.

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