Memes I’ll Never See

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for, THE PUN!


  1. Molly Hatchet….we wore that album out. Frazetta art on all the album covers. Good times. Have a good one n be careful out there yall.

  2. Good morning dog faced pony soldiers

  3. wakey wakey

  4. Morning MJ!

    Even with the pun I liked this poat.

  5. I got this tweet from my two year old this morning:

    Daddy, why is Donald Trump trying to take away my healthcare?

    No two year old should have to worry about that.

    –every idiot liberal in about 4 months

  6. Mornin’. Lovely day and I gotta waste it working. Fuckthis.

  7. Just give him the can of wasp spray to play with.

  8. You Are Invited to Join Jo Becker for this Important Webinar

    Service Vs. Assistance Animals: What’s the Difference?

    Why is this even a debate? Unless you’re blind, you don’t need to bring your fucking dog.


    People can eat a bag of dicks.

  9. Everybody seems to be making a big deal about Trump firing the likes of that cunt Vindman and 70 other traitors at State.

    The fucker should have done it in his first 30 days. He was incompetent letting them stay past that time. Period.

  10. Plus, and this really chaps my ass that they don’t mention that almost all Presidents BUT ESPECIALLY DEMS fire all holdovers from the previous administration.

  11. I’ve had to deal with people like Vindman at various times. They only ever go far in bureaucracies. In real companies they bounce around like crazy until someone finally kicks them to the curb. Then they finally get government jobs.

    They usually end up as inspectors.

  12. It’s all so silly. Some people that weren’t on the call had a negative opinion about it. Ok, so the fuck what?

    Their opinion is no more valuable than anyone. Literally anyone in the US. In fact, their opinion is less valuable because it’s biased.

    Our elites are so dumb. So so dumb. They deserve to be starved, told they’ll get a delicious bag of dicks soon, have them write an essay about why bags of dicks are delicious, publish the essay in the New Yorker, then don’t give them the bag of dicks and let them continue to starve.

  13. * throws a bag of vegan I Can’t Believe It’s Not Dicks to elites *

  14. I want them to get their bag of dicks.

  15. Basically, Trump took over a business with 2 million employees, 90+% who don’t want him there. He can’t fire the vast majority, he can’t even trust most of the people who are supposed to be on his side. Anyone who has dealt with a bureaucracy knows how they delay, deflect, deter and refuse to get anything done. It’s amazing he’s gotten anything done.

  16. Comment by scott on February 11, 2020 9:05 am
    * throws a bag of vegan I Can’t Believe It’s Not Dicks to elites *



    Make sure it hits Vindman in the face. Although I think he’d love it.

  17. I heard Trump called a young woman at a rally a lying dog faced pony soldier. That crosses a line. He’s done in politics this time for sure.

  18. Impossible Dicks are being tested right now. Gotta capture the woke market.

  19. Meatless dicks. Our scientists were so busy asking if they could, they didn’t stop to ask if they should.

  20. Senate Education Committee meeting. Pray for oso.

  21. As I understand it, vegan dicks are primarily of the soft-serve variety.

  22. I cannot express how sad I am that Biden is flaming out so early. I really wanted all of this to start hitting its stride around September.

  23. Is that AOC in the wasp meme? Empty headed bimbo.

  24. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on February 11, 2020 10:09 am
    Meatless dicks. Our scientists were so busy asking if they could, they didn’t stop to ask if they should.



  25. Comment by mare on February 11, 2020 9:32 am
    Comment by scott on February 11, 2020 9:05 am
    * throws a bag of vegan I Can’t Believe It’s Not Dicks to elites *


    Make sure it hits Vindman in the face. Although I think he’d love it.


  26. It finally stopped raining for a bit, supposed to start up again later today. Sigh.

  27. Vindman got walked out of the WH but he still has a job, right? Why wasn’t he stripped of any military whatsits and tossed out on his ass?

  28. Because that would require a trial which would be more trouble than it’s worth.

  29. Looked up the 70 others at NSC that have been fired.

    “Many were loaners from other agencies and have been sent back. Others left government work.”

    Other than the ones who left of their own accord, the others haven’t been fired, fired. Fired, in my mind, is tossed back to the public sector. Fuck up in the WH or NSC, you are no longer eligible to be anywhere near the reigns of power.

  30. Top Secret clearance once you leave the government has to stop. I don’t give two shits if that’s why these jackholes get hired by big companies. That’s exactly why they shouldn’t have the clearance. I don’t care if they were the SOS…especially if they were higher-ups.

    John Kerry should absolutely not have a Secret Clearance anymore.

    It was awesome when Trump took Brennan’s away. Assface (and very likely a traitor to some degree-Kerry too).


  31. I don’t get that at all. When I’ve left a job that I had with a TS, I’ve been “read out” of the programs and advised of my ongoing responsibilities. Getting it back is easier than getting it the first time, but it’s “off” when you don’t have a need to know.

  32. I heard Jill Biden talk about her son and I understand a mother’s protective nature for her kids but come on, she was talking like he is someone with sterling character…ahhhh no. Maybe in the Biden family he’s the good one.

    “I know my son. I know my son’s character. Hunter did nothing wrong. And that’s the bottom line,” she said.

  33. 21 degrees, windy, and snowing here. Wind chill was 8 last time I looked.

  34. It’s not complicated. Whether or not he asked for favors is immaterial. The Ukranian and Chinese companies got what they wanted; perceived access to the VP of the US.

  35. “I know my son. I know my son’s character. Hunter did nothing wrong. And that’s the bottom line,” she said.

    “He was a good boy. He was on his way to church!”

  36. GAH. Twitter is terrible. It’s like fast food; you want some but it makes you feel turrible. Rinse, repeat.

  37. Holy shit this is great:


  38. Homeboy is carrying a load of laundry while wearing skinny jeans, penny loafers, sans socks. It’s hard for me to picture him getting laid.

  39. How long has Jill been married to Joe? Wasn’t Hunter an adult when that happened?

  40. No, they were young.

  41. Joe Biden left NH early for SC because they have a better 3pm dinner special for seniors.

    (cheerfully stolen off Facedouche)


  43. Joe married Jill in 1977, Hunter was born in 1970.

  44. Post the Vindman twins to Adak.

  45. Okay, I mis-remembered.

  46. WTF did Adak do?

  47. Penelope found some recipe on the interweb. It’s in metric. Trying to convert kilograms to cups……..

  48. heh, just use weight

  49. Outlander starts soon. Guess the H2ers will be all atwitter about Jamie and Claire again.

  50. Some of those recipes have a place where you can specify metric or English.

  51. She figured it out. At one point she was converting deciliters to tablespoons. No idea what she’s making.

  52. Pete Buttigeig is a POS and a fake Christian.

  53. I’m not convinced Pete Buttigeig is real.

  54. 1. Mix 1 deciliter of dicks into bag; shake well

    2. Serve to hotspur

  55. He’s as real as 0 was. Which is to say entirely manufactured.

  56. Tax guy says I am going to be “very happy’ with the numbers.

    Whoop- de-do!

    I thought tax refunds were a myth.

  57. Now that I think about it, my last tax refund was in the 80’s.

  58. Uncle Sam’s Happy Ending

  59. Comment by leoncaruthers on February 11, 2020 4:05 pm
    He’s as real as 0 was. Which is to say entirely manufactured.

    Like I said over at the HQ, he’s like Obama in that Obama was a progressives’ Ideal Black Friend. He’s their Ideal Gay Friend.

  60. I want the following commercial.

    *Shot opens, pan left across a desert to show a long stretch of highway. Through the haze of rising heat we see a long convoy approach. Zooming past are bikers, construction workers, electrical workers, trucks hauling steel, timber, semis, military vehicles, tanker trucks, etc. A line of black SUVs drives by, when suddenly one pulls off and stops next to the camera. Camera pans to the left to show the window rolling down. Trump is sitting in the driver’s side, Pence is next to him. Melania is behind Trump. All are wearing sunglasses and are dressed in dark suits.*

    Trump: “Get in. We’re Keeping America Great.”

    *SUV tears off in a cloud of dust.*

  61. I like it, CoAlex!

  62. Guess the H2ers will be all atwitter about Jamie and Claire again.

    Not this one. The first two books were hawt, then the author got stupid with her rape fantasies.

  63. Not this one. The first two books were hawt, then the author got stupid with her rape fantasies.

    I didn’t know Bernie wrote time-traveler fiction.

  64. I don’t know if this could be real, what do you guys think?

  65. Given Chinese quality control, the door will open third time someone sneezes hard at it.

  66. Who needs concentration camps? Just lock people into their homes.

  67. I’m not sure the PRC survives this thing. They sold communism under a Confucian banner, but every action they’re taking here is at odds with even that “philosophy”.

  68. Hi guys👋🏻 Our hawk is back. Our MA is incontinent due to the tumor, but quality of life is ok. We just bought more waterproof mattress pads and puppy pads are everywhere.

  69. Mare, people are risking their lives to get the videos out. 1800 travelers from Wuhan a day go through Africa, yet Africa hasn’t reported any Corona virus.

  70. Interesting, Oso.

  71. So this crossfit chick’s name is Sara Sigmundsdottir.

    Best comment on imgur:

    Sigmund must be enormous

  72. IIRC the mechanism this (and SARS before it) operate with is one that effectively means Asians (presumably East) and males are more likely to be affected. Plus it seems like most overseas cases have been clustered where there are heavy Chinese communities…so this may not be a huge problem outside those populations. Assuming, of course, the virus itself is the actual issue in play.

  73. Brother Tim, yah. Starting to hear that heavy smokers are more likely to be impacted.

  74. A racist virus.

  75. Paula likes watching the Crossfit games and every year I get to hear all the dottir names in the lead. There’s more than one and being a dottir seems like a qualification for Crossfit excellence

  76. Scott, (adjusting tin foil hat) I believe it was a weaponized biotechnology that escaped the lab in Wuhan. TMI3rd and Joe Pilot have both expressed medical opinions that contravene what we are seeing in China. Regular Corona Virus doesn’t warrant this response. (Sprays Lysol Over Hostages)

  77. BRB Westminster is starting.

  78. If you live near North Campus in Ann Arbor, it’s definitely worth worrying about.

  79. North Campus was weird. Engineering, Music, and Asian student residences of choice. No one wanted to live up there that wasn’t in Eng or Music because the bus ride to regular campus was like 20 minutes.

    I was in engineering and lived down south next to the stadium. I was on the bus a lot.

  80. Osita, glad to hear MA has quality of life.

    Trump is trying to break the gov’t unions, Pentagon first. The howls, gnashing of teeth, and nail-biting are amazing to observe.

  81. When I was in high school, the shop class welded the bathroom door shut on a substitute teacher. She was in there for 5 hours before someone told the principal. They had to cut the door open to get her out.

  82. I am currently reading “Collapse” by Kurt Schlichter. Funny how Kurt Schlichter doesn’t have a Wikipedia entry, nor do any of his novels. I should re-read “Wildfire”, given the state of the coronavirus.

  83. Yang is out.

  84. Westminster is my Super Bowl. The fix is always in, but I love the different dogs.

  85. Yang is out.

    I thought the whipped cream thing was basically an admittance. He’s still running, right?

  86. Yang is out.

    I have to wear pants now.

  87. Bennet is out, too. I kept forgetting he was the 4th senator who had to play in Nancy’s impeachment drama instead of campaign in Iowa. Leon, no, the math wasn’t working for Yang.

  88. I guess he needed more Yin, or better math.

    Don’t think he ever learned the PVE, for instance.

  89. Heh, guy on Twitter says Yang can’t quit, he still owes him $1000.

    Where’s my money, bitch?

  90. Anybody know how long a cubit is?

  91. Length of your forearm.

  92. Between 17 and 20 inches.

  93. 1/300 of an ark-length.

  94. Lol

  95. Trolling

  96. *stays out of the guest room at The Ranch

  97. Dinner tonight is Roamie’s spatchcocked chicken.

    LOL, I finally noticed this when putting together HHD for tomorrow.

  98. Haha, that’s been there a while.

  99. Wow, Buttplug is within 2 points of The Bern.

  100. His people are doing the counting again, aren’t they?

  101. I heard from Luntz that NH bought the same software Iowa did. Haven’t heard another source on that.

  102. Buttplug is the Deep State’s chosen candidate. When the DNC steals it from Bernie again, it’ll be him or the comb-forker.

  103. Bernie don’t care. They’ll pay him off again.

  104. Season 4 of Better Call Saul, dropped.

  105. Bernie doesn’t, no, but the Cult of Bern is far bigger than just one old scammer.

  106. Jay, I thought it was Nevada that had the same software as Iowa.

  107. Osita, the poodle? I wanted the sheltie to win, but I would have been happy with the golden retriever because he was a good boi.

  108. Nevada did have the same app, but they have abandoned it.

  109. When I asked up above it was a genuine question. Hard to believe the Alfred E Newman clone is having this much success legitimately.

  110. “Dynasties end,” Ramesses proclaimed.

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