Let My Meme Open The Door

You didn’t think you were getting a normal version, did you? Silly H2.

Quiz on Candidate (and relatives) Nicknames:

Communist curmudgeon

Gropey Joe

$50,000 a month stripper impregnator

Heap Big Hack

the Hero of Kandahar

Moses of the Midwest

looks like a disgruntled koala

(inspired by Kurt Schlichter’s Townhall column)

107 Comments

  1. Karen memes are some of my favorite.

    I always hear Ray Liotta’s voice when he’s whining to his wife Karen in Goodfellas.

  2. The bluegrass cover is pretty catchy.

  3. Left a comment on the water heater post after catching up.

  4. Goodfellas was a great movie.

  5. Just watched the SIMPS video. Classic, right up there with the soy face one he did. Lizzo’s fat ass is horrifying.

  6. But damn that bish can play the flute

    *sits in simp corner

  7. Simps and soyface go together like peanut butter and Dana Perino.

  8. Dana Perino 8/10 would smash

    Dana Perino with peanut butter 9/10 would smash

  9. https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-51176958

    Diversity is our strength.
    Everyone wins with free trade.
    Open borders are a human right.

  10. Love the one with the kids doing wall sits in Walmart. I have done that to my kids. None of you work for CPS, right?

  11. Dana Perino with peanut butter 9/10 would smash

    Two great tastes that taste great together!

  12. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/surrogates

    Horrifying story about surrogacy in Cambodia.

  13. Well, shit. Dad just called to tell me he had a house fire last night. Short in the wiring in the attic. He and stepmom are okay and are staying with a neighbor for the moment, will be assessing the damage and dealing with insurance today.

  14. Love the four hour meme.

  15. Oh that sucks but I’m glad they’re safe.

  16. Sorry about that. One of my long time internet friends (one I’d actually met, etc) had a fire just before christmas. House burned to the ground. Nothing left. Ready for the story to get worse?

    The house burned down while she was with her elderly mom at the hospital who has brain cancer and …

    Because the house was older, and needed some stuff done she couldn’t afford , the home was uninsured.

  17. wakey wakey

  18. Ah, geez. House fires suck.

    Also, 25 degree weather in Ala-frakking-bama sucks.

    The two are not necessarily related, though sometimes there are causal relationships involved.

  19. Also, my truck stalled out as I was turning in to the parking lot this morning. With the boss and the bookkeeper right behind me. Joyous.

    (Like its owner, it doesn’t deal well with cold weather.)

  20. Phew, Roamy. That story could have been much worse. Glad they’re safe.

  21. a friend long ago had an electrical fire – which I could barely tell the damage done, but it took FOREVER for them to get back in their home. I guess the damage was in the walls, etc, but it just shocked me how long it took to get it repaired, etc, when the damage wasn’t really visible.

  22. 25 degrees? LUXURY!

    -3 here. At least I don’t have to mow my lawn, which PG should stay off of.

  23. smoke damage is terrible.

  24. class all day today

    I’d say try not to burn the place down, but that seems insensitive right now. Let’s say please don’t fingerpaint with poop, mmmmkay?

  25. Car in, what happened with your friend’s ex-husband?

  26. Well, they had agreed that she would pay rent once the divorce was final until she could get a house. She doesn’t make as much as he does, but he bought her out of the house. They knew it was going to take time. She bought a house and closed on it about 10 days ago – and was having floors done and the rooms painted. Over the weekend, ex husband (who is clearly having some sort of crises) started turning the electricity and water off when he left the house. @@. Yesterday morning, it just reached a cresendo and she just wanted all her stuff out of the house and moved. She had a lot moved (mostly just personal stuff and workout gear – she didn’t really want much from the house), but her bedroom – everything in there had to go. Two dressers, boxes, mirrors, etc. We loaded up 5 big SUV type cars and got her moved.

    Her floors weren’t finished, but she didn’t care.

  27. Yesterday morning he SCREAMED at her at 5 in the morning that she had left a light on and broke her waffle maker.

  28. Car in, they may have had to replace all the wiring in the house.

    There was a period of time where copper was really expensive, the 60’s I think, and they wired homes with aluminum instead.

    Houses wired with aluminum are about 50 times more likely to catch fire.

  29. Damn. Sounds good that she’s out of that place.

  30. Scott I’m sure. I just remember being shocked when I saw the house and couldn’t see any damage (they had been out of their house for a while at this point). I think all total they were out of their house for over a year.

  31. Coalex, yea. He’s an alcoholic so his behavior has been erratic. He hid his pension from her during the divorce (she didn’t know) and then her lawyer found it about a month ago. He’s gotten angrier and crazier ever since then. SHe waffled about going back to court over that, but finally decided yes. Yesterday she asked me if I would serve him the subpoena. That was a hard no. I told her she needed a big scary man to do that.

  32. Oh please, don’t throw me in the briar patch.

  33. Trump would beat Sanders like a rented mule.

  34. According to them, Trump won because of “racism”. lol

  35. I don’t know, Steyer running on improving the economy is a pretty safe bet.

  36. Fauxcohontas ads are saying that Trump fears her the most. Huh. Wonder who is the boogeyman under Trump’s bed.

  37. Ba haaa haaaa haaaaaaaaaa:

    Unlike your average Democratic presidential hopeful, his most enthusiastic constituency arguably consists of low-wage earners employed at places like Starbucks and Amazon.

    can’t … breath …

  38. If you’re an adult with a triple-digit IQ and earning a low wage in this economy, it’s because you’re a dipshit. Communism won’t fix your dipshittery.

  39. I just really want Bernie to concentrate on the Starbuck vote.

  40. I’ll own the “dipshit” thing, I guess, though one could argue extenuating circumstances.

  41. Ugh. Committee today, with public testimony. I become increasingly a monarchist every time.

  42. Seriously, this guy is a caricature of the right-wing paranoid gun nut.

  43. Cavil, when I say “low wage” I literally mean the Fed Minimum they always say should be higher, that almost no one actually earns. The legitimately retarded lady that waited on me and the family at Wendy’s on Sunday makes $15 an hour these days.

  44. I think I told you guys this once, but one of my coworkers over at the hardware store was an old lefty absolute child with all the attendant idiot ideas. I remember her saying, “Everyone should earn a living wage!” and her look of shock when I said, “But everyone is not worth the money.”

    All I had to do was point at the cognitively handicapped kid who technically has a job but *actually* needs somebody always following after him and cleaning up his errors. Only a wealthy company can afford to keep a personal philanthropy project like that going. And if they have to pay every marginal, shitty, ripoff of an employee a ‘living wage,’ there will be few wealthy companies around and very little income growth for the great workers.

    Most idiot lefty ideas about business are predicated on an assumption that businesses do not fail.

  45. I know a LOT of people making minimum wage. Many of them are barely worth that, and not due do anything other than some character flaws (lazy, dislikes to work hard, etc).

    Dishwashing is a miserable job. If you’re still washing dishes after 6 months, you either LOVE washing dishes or you suck at work.

  46. People washing dishes last night were hopeless. Talking most of the time, got super waaaay behind. Finally we had to beg the busboy (mind you, former dishwasher – there’s a lesson here) to help out so the manager wouldn’t be stuck there all night.

    The same busboy picked up one gal’s sidework, and cleaning another waiter’s section – extra $20.

    Guy used to be sort of a waste. Two babies later, he now knows how to hustle.

  47. Love the Cuban, black, orange, one and the Bernie supporter’s unshoveled walk.

  48. Check this out…Bernie is using the Trump playbook.

    “None of the traditional gatekeepers in the state quite know what to think of the confidence of the Sanders campaign, either. They seldom see Sanders’s team wooing the usual power brokers and figured Sanders would be far less of a factor after he reshaped the upper levels of his stuttering Iowa operation this fall (while replacing his state director in New Hampshire). Then there was his heart attack, and the concerns he’s just too far left and just too old. The campaign itself doesn’t seem worried about either concern, and expresses confidence that, after older minority voters rejected him four years ago, he can compete for them this time — in fact, Sanders’s significant investments in Latino outreach have gone mostly unmatched by other candidates. But in rival camps, nobody has yet come up with satisfactory ways to model the turnout surge Sanders says he’s expecting in their own internal polls. They think he may just be operating on hope.”

  49. Hrmph. $15 an hour, if full time, adds up to more than I gross. And I’m hardly minimum wage. Still, it’s my fault with an assist from long term depression, but mostly my fault.

  50. For Car in, if crackfat doesn’t work out.

    https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/dancing-ballet-as-an-older-adult.html

  51. I know a LOT of people making minimum wage.

    This is largely industry-specific and as you note, a matter of time-in-service or the value of the specific work being done. The last time I made even close to it I was a baker’s assistant at a small bakery in South Bend. And I got free donuts/muffins/cookies if I wanted.

  52. Cavil, the guy who picks up my trash bin with a giant robot arm started at $19 an hour. Get a CDL and come be my neighbor.

  53. Trucking companies near here are offering $60K – $100K with good benefits.

    One is also offering a $10,000 signing bonus.

  54. Community college and one of the hospitals near me, offer ballet for any age. I think I may sign up next time I see the enrollment.

  55. but then you have to live in CT

  56. I thought leon was with the Michigan contingent?

    Damn, I should do the CDL. Might be one of my better options at this stage.

  57. Of course long-range truckers get screwed hard, so that not so much, but still.

  58. CT is great if you can afford it.

    $75k would be plenty if your spouse worked.

  59. These are local, home every night jobs.

  60. I’m SW MI near South Bend. $40k a year would be good living here, you can buy a decent house in town for less than $100k.

  61. know a LOT of people making minimum wage.

    This is largely industry-specific and as you note, a matter of time-in-service or the value of the specific work being done.

    My point was that I don’t “know” minimum wage workers in a “woke” sort of way. I actually know these people. How they live. Their choices. Obviously there are always different circumstances, but a lot of the sob stories regarding not being able to make ends meet really comes down to life choices. Don’t blame “minimum wage” if your issues are caused by addiction, lack of work ethic, etc. Because most people can start with minimum wage and work themselves into something better. It may take time. You may need a room mate when you’re starting out. And guess what? You’re probably not going to be able to have either parent stay home with the kids. Them’s part of the choices you made.

  62. Husband was in a bad mood this morning. His mom wasn’t feeling well yesterday and went to bed before 6pm. When he checked on her this morning, she was in a horrible mood. When she’s in her dark place, she says some mean shit…..like accusing her dying husband of cheating on her with the hospice nurses…o_O …and how ‘family’ is only in it for her $$. I told Mr. B. that the next time she says that, tell her she can move in to a senior living place and start paying them $10k a month for rent/meals. There would be more for her to do at one of those places…maybe…but she really is not a social creature.

    *when they moved in with us, they both made an offer/agreement with Mr. B. on paying some rent (enough to help with energy costs and everything else…chauffeuring/finances/appts/meds). My vote of zero rent was ignored by the both of them.

  63. Plus, weed can be expensive. Maybe that’s why you can’t make ends meet?

  64. Or why you can’t move out of the parent’s house.

  65. ..like accusing her dying husband of cheating on her with the hospice nurses…o_O …and how ‘family’ is only in it for her $$.

    Yea, dealing with elderly can be difficult. :(

    That’s when you just let Mr B handle everything.

  66. Got two projects done today. One more then I can rest on my laurels*.

    *my ass

  67. I’m having new toilets installed.

  68. Awesome set of pillows. (not a euphemism)

  69. “I’m having new toilets installed.”
    Leon’s euphemisms are kind of crappy ….

  70. Anyone can suffer a misfortune, but it’s the long-term choices that people make that define their lives. One bad event is rarely the problem, it’s everything else you did that made you vulnerable to that event, or prevented you from recovering.

  71. That’s when you just let Mr B handle everything.

    I do. Though she doesn’t say those things to me. Husband says she’s always been a weepy, Negative Nancy. Pops was able to ignore her or talk her down, when he was alive.
    Sister-in-law and I consider ourselves the ‘out-laws’ (instead of in-laws) to them as we’ve always felt we were held at arm’s length. We’re not blood. Something important in this clan.

  72. Her passive aggressive bullshit really hurts Mr. B’s feelings. He goes/went way out of his way to take care of his parents at this stage of their lives.

  73. Christmas at the beasnsnsnsnses.

  74. Anyone can suffer a misfortune, but it’s the long-term choices that people make that define their lives. One bad event is rarely the problem, it’s everything else you did that made you vulnerable to that event, or prevented you from recovering.

    exactly. I’m kind of watching this happen in real time. I probably haven’t filled you in on the last work/boyfriend drama, but a guy started working for us about a year ago. He was apparently homeless, living in the woods. Started dishwashing, etc, and has worked his way up to serving now. strange stories from the past of jobs he’s had- restaurant management, etc. I don’t exactly know what to believe, but I do believe he’s been up and down, usually of his own doing (alcohol, most likely).

    But he has gone from homeless, to making server wage in the course of a year. He’s a hard worker. Her just needs to overcome a few character flaws.

  75. How many waitresses has he impregnated? Round to the nearest dozen.

  76. How many girls has he impregnated so far?

  77. Has he knocked-up any chicks?

  78. How many baby-mommas he got now?

  79. Any holiday at beasnsesses house…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRIVTEBaLkA

  80. He’s currently at zero. But his girlfriend is older and not really bursting with fertility.

  81. Jimbro – a friend is dealing with the VA and has a couple of xrays if you have a second. Just to see if you think what they’re telling him jives. DOn’t know if you can see anything with them, but he has a lack of faith in the va.

  82. Roamy, I’m glad they both are safe.

  83. Elliot always looks like he’s got a pompadour going on.

  84. Elliot needs an eye patch.

  85. Or a colander face-mask.

  86. Rabid coyote attacked a 2 year old kid in New Hampshire.

    Dad jumped on it and choked it to death.

  87. Looks like Wile E. chose the wrong prospective meal.

  88. A rabid cougar jumped a frat member outside a bar in Scottsdale.

  89. Insurance seems to be handling it well, putting Dad and stepmom in a hotel for four days, inspecting the electrical system, professional cleaning of the smoke and water damage.

  90. This also reminds me to update the bugout bags. Dad and stepmom didn’t have one, so having to get clothes, meds, toiletries, papers, etc. Not as bad as it could have been, damage was mostly in the dining room, kitchen, and attic, but they took wallet, cane, purse, car keys, cats, and not much else. Most of their stuff is still intact, but if the house had burned to the ground, they’d be SOL.

  91. In a way, MJ is carrying on the family business.

    https://tinyurl.com/Turn-the-sound-on-MJ

  92. The current D-rat blathering needs to say “Missed it by *that* much” just once for me.

  93. That’s insane, roamy. You can’t come to the younger version of the church but we want you to do it’s maintenance and contribute money.

    The turd who thought this was a good idea has zero comprehension of what being a Christian is all about.

  94. I was thinking Satan won that round.

  95. I’m willing to bet that church is a progressive christian church.

    They killed the message, but tried to keep the community, and you cannot do that. Now the community has withered away except for a few old-timers and people who come by force of habit.

  96. That is EXACTLY what happened to our church – it was a Methodist church as well. We had 2 members who had been children when that church was built 60 years earlier who were basically shown the door.

    Surprise, surprise – most of those folks just quit going to church altogether.

    And the Methodist denomination wonders why their numbers are dwindling so much….

  97. I could write a book about how pissed off I am at the Central Texas Conference, but I wouldn’t be allowed into Heaven if I did that.

  98. I got kicked out of the Presbyterian church during a fight between the preacher and the church council. I don’t know how many members were caught in the purge, but it was ugly. Funny how because of that, I eventually ended up in the Catholic Church.

  99. Wait a minute, a church, any church, is asking faithful members to leave? Eff them with satan’s pitchfork they rode in on.

  100. The only time the faithful should be asked to leave is in the context of either “this Mass is ended” or “the church is on fire, please exit in an orderly fashion”.

  101. On hobbyist oil painting videos: OG Bill Alexander kicked Protege Bob Ross’ ass. Sorry. I loved that old dude from way back in the Original Times. Hippies can suck my hump (but they won’t long survive the attempt).

    OSO KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

  102. hopefully
    maybe

    She really may not. History has papered over Bill Alexander, but he will always be the Magic of Oil Painting to me, and Bob Ross the burnout imposter.

  103. lauraw:

  104. Dixon eventually relearned pickling.


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