We haven’t worn out the New Year yet.
I almost forgot the pun!
How did everyone find out about the new crime spree in the community?
Answer to pun:
There was a bullet in board.
Happy New Year!
January 7, 2020
Categories: #Problematic, braunschweiger, Consumption, Fuck golf, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, I feel like chicken tonight., just the D…, mittelschmerz, peanuts and corn the night before, Rosetta Likes This, Snake juice guzzler . . Author: Jay in Ames
112 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
April 2, 2020 8:52 am
This is fucking nuts. Everything. This has nothing to do with a mildly annoying virus and everything to do with politics.
Using science and data prove me wrong. That this virus is worse than other other making it necessary to fucking crush the greatest economy in the world.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
Huh, I actually believed Jay would post later than usual because he was “busy” and commented on the old one
Looks like someone is testing the boundaries of the circle of trust …
Jay is NAILING the meme poats.
Good to see TeeRoy here and I see we have a new Michigander. It’s alright everyone, it’s nobody’s fault.
I love the condescending one and the bitchass dog.
That “living your life” meme always makes me smile, Rosetta once linked it with the caption, “Typical Hostage Friday night.”
Roamy, I know you have lots of stress right now, you know that thing we’ve been texting about…don’t even think about it, it can wait! (I was trying to come up with something dirty sounding but I didn’t have it in me considering the subject matter).
” I lost 25 lbs last year and have gained every bit back.”
There is very little more frustrating than losing, gaining and trying to lose the same weight!! The worst.
I have kept off about 30 lbs for a few years. I’m fortunate that because of my shape it was evenly distributed. I still looked bloated but not completely gross. *cough* This last 8-10 have been a challenge for me. On Instagram, I follow a lot of keto, or weight loss people and it’s pretty inspiring seeing someone lose 100-150-one guy 300lbs.
I see I can drive both sides of the road on this morning’s poat…roomy!
https://tinyurl.com/ygbbmvms
So, he divorced his wife?
yeah, I wasn’t gonna poat until later, but the pat sajak one came up and I had to use it. turns out I had a bunch on the home computer too.
I like that we’ve transitioned into a meme blog.
What were we before? I can’t remember. I vaguely remember lemon bears and fake regs but that’s about it.
I watched 600 lb life last night.
Some chick lost 100 pounds in a month. She only changed her diet. That’s insane but when she loses another 400 she’s gonna look like a deflated Macy’s parade balloon.
Like mare.
LOLGF
The Iranians can’t even hold a funeral without killing people.
4
wakey wakey
Michigan meetup sounds great.Someone plan one. You can use my house.
I’d sign us all up for a fun run or something.
We were a topical b00b bl0g before, I thought, with a pile of in-jokes based around prosthetics for some reason.
5 – I win!
What is MJ counting?
MJ – refresh is your friend.
Oh FFS
MJ, did you hear I signed up for a Marathon? I’m adding half a mile a week to my long run. That’s how i intend to get there. The Ragnar Road will be about 4- or 5 weeks before the Marathon so I have to be to the distance BEFORE the ragnar, and then just hold steady.
MJ, you always ask about this being a meme blog and I always want to punch your lady parts when you do. STFU.
Want to see a vortex of gross? Get ready. No, it’s not MJ’s fetish diary.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Make sure you check the poat again. I almost forgot the pun!
Didn’t want you to miss out.
MJ always concerned about transitioning to a meme blog
Whoever had ‘Trump will get the media/dems to defend Iran’ wins this week’s pool.
Nicely done.
MJ, did you hear I signed up for a Marathon? I’m adding half a mile a week to my long run. That’s how i intend to get there. The Ragnar Road will be about 4- or 5 weeks before the Marathon so I have to be to the distance BEFORE the ragnar, and then just hold steady.
—————————–
That’s fantastic! I can’t wait to see you shart yourself!
MJ, you always ask about this being a meme blog and I always want to punch your lady parts when you do. STFU.
—————-
Please refer to it as my she-peen. I’ve decided to transition because being a straight white male is so bourgeois these days.
I’ll still look and act the same but I’m really a black girl now.
We’re now a diverse meme blog.
https://tinyurl.com/ygww93op
I’ll try not to poop, but lets be honest … if it happens, I’m not telling you guys.
We’re now a diverse meme blog.
I am an African American.
I am a meat popsicle.
I’ll try not to poop, but lets be honest … if it happens, I’m not telling you guys.
——————
Yes you will.
I am an African American.
————
Jay as well. We’re basically all black so I guess we’re not the diverse.
Well, I guess that means I’m the smart, Asian boy.
Silly Mare, Asians aren’t diverse.
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME
I’m also disabled but you already knew that
You addiction to weird porn isn’t a disability.
Comment by MJ on January 7, 2020 9:55 am
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME
—–
LOL Shut up!
It’s disabling, though, since he has to keep pretending to be an amputee.
Best I recall we’ve most recently been a fitness blog, a gardening blog, a mind numbingly “inside baseball” programming blog, and late at night, an incomprehensible rash of abreviatioms blog.
We’re a Derpblog.
https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2020/01/06/condolences-qassem-soleimani-iraqi-consulate-southfield/2822725001/
*uck Detroit!!
Anyone know where that pizza hut is? Asking for a friend…
Naturally, St Jude will be the gimp of this outfit.
Sorry to all real gimps.
Here’s the REAL question….What did you name yer favorite gun?
——————————————————–
Hadji B. Good
Haven’t named the guns. Haven’t had cause to use Mostly Peaceful Protest since we moved, either.
When Trump tweeted “Iran will never have a nuclear weapon!” I was waiting in anticipatory glee for one of the Dem candidates to do a kneejerk contrarian response, but alas, they really aren’t quite that fucking stupid. I hope he didn’t tip them off as to what he’s doing, I would hate to see cooler heads prevail on their side.
Mare, I noticed before Thanksgiving that my older sister was looking terrific and told her so. She went to the trunk of her car and gave me her copy of the book ‘Wheat Belly.’ She said she lost about 20 lbs in 6 months just by ditching wheat. Italians. Bread, pasta, pastry, etc., so this was pretty huge for her.
I know it’s not good for me but I have still been eating wheat from time to time, especially when I am looking to add to a meal and I didn’t keep enough good stuff around the house. Also, I love making really good sourdough.
Just started reading the book in little bits and got to the point where I’m like holy shit the real story is even worse than I thought it was.
I predict that by next week, Trump will have the democrats demanding that Iran be permitted to work on nukes.
It’s only fair, leon. Since we’ve used them so often since 1945, and Israel too. They need protection.
That drawing is brutal, CoAlex. Well played.
Pretty. Somehow.
twitter.com/380kmh/status/1214268546253033474
Jay, it’s like the “aborted sister/aborted girlfriend” memes on 4chan.
Feed the deer, laura!
From the last poat where you guys left me like a fat girl at a school dance.
Comment by Hotspur on January 7, 2020 8:44 am
Well, St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, so I suppose we had to get a visit sooner or later.
Comment by Hotspur on January 7, 2020 8:45 am
And Vmax, if you go to Phoenix, say hello to everyone in Globe for us.
(I was trying to come up with something dirty sounding but I didn’t have it in me considering the subject matter).
*cough*
Laura, why do we always have to cut and paste your links?
And Mare, why do you always put some bullshit widget link in your posts?
I don’t have time for this dickassery.
Is there another sort of dickassery you do have time for?
Oh FFS.
Any notice that Hotspur’s been a bit more of a dick since he stopped drinking?
Comment by Hotspur on January 7, 2020 8:44 am
Well, St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, so I suppose we had to get a visit sooner or later.
————————–
Patron saint of lost causes and prostitutes. Which are kinda the same thing.
Wait….now that I think about it, St. Nick is the patron saint of prostitutes… And children. That’s an interesting portfolio. Can I change my name to Sts. Jude and Nick (but without the children)? Seems a bit wordy.
Maybe we should petition the Catholic Church to change prostitutes from St. Nick to St. Jude. Mistakes were clearly made when originally assigning workload here. A quick switcheroo would solve all the problems nicely, I think.
HS. Chrome lets me open laura’s link. Guess you shouldn’t use shitty apple browsers.
Jay, if it has anything to do with Google, it doesn’t exist for me. But if you want to infect your computer with Satan’s hot semen, who am I to judge?
Third world shithole gonna third world shithole.
Those deaths were in the Gen’s hometown. What do you want to bet that the secret police started those stampedes, for media attention.
I wouldn’t put it past them.
For HOTSPUR, when I link Twitter, do not click on the bottom widget bullshit, if it does not show up click the link within the tweet.
Hotspur, kiss my ass!
Comment by Car in on January 7, 2020 1:57 pm
Any notice that Hotspur’s been a bit more of a dick since he stopped drinking?
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This!!
I haven’t had bread or pasta generally for about 4 years. Every time Lauraw talks about her sourdough I reeeeeeeeally want some slathered with butter.
Comment by Brother Cavil on January 7, 2020 1:54 pm
Is there another sort of dickassery you do have time for?
——–
hhahahahahahahah
Seriously, WTF comes here for succinct info or humor?
I pissed about what they did to Flynn. He knew the bullshit going on with the CIA and FBI. He made the mistake of saying he was going to clean that gelatinous, blackened, rotten scum out.
They reamed him because he was one of those that knew what was really going on. If Trump doesn’t pardon or whatever it is to completely exonerate him, screw Trump.
I don’t say that lightly.
I eat bread and pasta but do watch what I eat. When I am GOOD about watching my macros, I am stronger and leaner. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Some macro plans do have too many carbs. But I pr’d my half marathon eating carbs. So no diet for me that eliminates anything.
https://www.zerohedge.com/crypto/almost-300-million-stolen-crypto-exchanges-2019
Mare, calm down.
6# of taco meat simmering on stove.
No crypto stolen from me last year. Still working on converting all my $$ to bottles of hooch.
So, Sandmann settled with CNN. Wonder how much that was.
how do you eat tacos, leon?
Same as he puts on his pants Jay, one leg at a time.
I dump a big mass of meat on a plate, cover it with cheese and guacamole, and eat it like a salad.
Comment by Jay in Ames on January 7, 2020 4:53 pm
how do you eat tacos, leon?
Sends Possum to her grandparents’ house, puts on a some Barry White, and opens a bottle of wine?
Lauraw talks about her sourdough I reeeeeeeeally want some slathered with butter.
Cut into thick slabs, buttered and toasted on both sides, and smothered in hot sausage gravy…
LOL sausage gravy
Can I change my name to Sts. Jude and Nick (but without the children)? Seems a bit wordy
How about St. Jick? Better yet, St. Nude.
Looks like the Iranians decided to get frisky.
OMG, husband is watching something about Bill Gates on Netflix and my nerves are tingling. I feel the need to smack a bish.
>>>Who are these people? (Wrong answers only)
Hillary and Lena Dunham.
Looks like the Iranians decided to get frisky.
———————————–
Frisky indeed. I would expect gas prices to go up for a couple weeks after we bomb to hell all 11 of Iran’s refineries. Plus the majority of their Navy. I’m kind of surprised at their audacity here, but, honestly, the only things that can beat Trump in 2020 are a recession and a war, and the economy is just to strong. I think the Persians are just hoping to survive the next 11 months, on the off chance there is a democrat for president.
Tucker going off, now.
I have a feeling that we won’t respond if there aren’t any American casualties.
no address to the public tonight.
So far, news reports I have see indicate no US casualties, praise be to God.
I wonder if Trump will bring this to Congress and ask for a vote on military options… Force the Dems to vote to go kill Persians, or force them to vote to defend Iran. Either way he wins…
Hannity says all of the missiles missed. That can’t be an accident.
It’s a PR stunt
There were Iraqi casualties. That’s gonna piss them off.
https://www.wate.com/news/top-stories/abc-news-iran-launches-missiles-into-us-airbases-in-iraq-per-us-official/
According to this three missiles were fired at the Kurdistan airport and airbase. Two were shot down, the third missed.
I’ve been wanting to light Iran up since Jimmeh was President.
Pretty sure Oso needs this….
https://tinyurl.com/ydtjsp8j
pretty sure MA would not be a fan
what are the odds that the missiles missed because they suck.
Pepe, It took weeks for me to be able to wear glasses. No masks for Oso. (Slightly claustrophobic). MA has had 3 dinners today. She is currently in Braunschweiger coma.
Uncle Jimbo was on Laura’s show, put forth the possibility that the iranians depended on their missiles sucking to not kill Americans.
Brandon Morse
Iran claims it killed 30 Americans. The Pentagon said they killed no Americans.
MSNBC decided to run Iran’s narrative.
If you were wondering whose side the media is on, let that inform your opinion.
https://tinyurl.com/yhkxooox
Secret Santa swag?
https://tinyurl.com/yzrtjyno
OT. My Uncle Felix’s dad worked for Peter Hurd. Every member of my Uncle’s family is in a Peter Hurd painting. I have a lithograph Of Peter Hurd sketching my Grammo making tortillas. My cousin, Carla, lives in Spain. Her parents were spending the holidays with her. My Uncle Felix, lost his sister, Stella, yesterday. I don’t know if Stella is in San Diego or Denver. Peter Hurd collections. Pretty sure my Uncle Felix is in Denver. Uncle Felix and Aunt Monica were able to get a flight from Spain on Thursday. It is kind of weird to see familia in museums.
Iran got to TV the missile launches to their citizens and “Here we are retaliating against “The Great Satan. They will not dare to respond!”
The broke nothing of ours and killed no one.
They save face.
It costs us nothing.
They broadcast; “US aircraft took off from UAE!
If they attack us, UAE will be destroyed!.
Also ; If they retaliate to our second attack, we will destroy Dubai and Haifa.”
I’m kinda torn as to whether we should ‘knock them the fuck out’, or just ignore them, as if nothing had happened.
So it goes…
ChrisP, we need a few cosmetic FU attacks.
Descending Everest, Robert perished.