This ought to get the natives all stirred up.
And now on with the memes!
*insert more tag HERE!
Since everyone is all about the ganja lately, here’s Willie Nelson:
you’ve been through a lot this week, no special pun today. Just hit the like button
December 3, 2019
Categories: #H2, #hashtag, goatse, Learn some shit, Snake juice guzzler, You Make Me Feel Like Dancing, Your Welcome Hotspur . . Author: Jay in Ames
148 Comments
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The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
April 6, 2020 2:52 pm
From day one, my bullshit meter has been at 11.
Additionally, I don’t believe in crashing the greatest economy in the world because some people may die.
Like all things in a free country, there is a risk.
It’s been said many times but I’m not giving up my guns so you can feel safe. I’m not driving slow so you can feel safe, I’m not going to wear a helmet riding a bike because you think it’s safer. I’m going to play/watch sports that you won’t because you think they’re not safe. I’m going to eat meat that you may not think is good for my health or the effing planet. I don’t give a shit if you think it’s better to be locked up in our houses getting arrested and getting tickets for going outside. You’re wrong. This is America. Freedom over safety. Also, FUCK OFF.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
There are 3 thumbs up for this poat already. Me, Jay and a lurker?
Jimbro off to work early?
Ohai, Roamy.
It’s funny because it’s true.
This is one of those mornings where I woke up at 4:30 AM, and my brain immediately started going through all the things I need to do today, and that was all she wrote for sleeping.
No thumb thingie on my computer, I think my adblocking software blocks different things. I can see the like button here but the thumbs up/down is only on my phone. Same thing with the BBF polls.
That was perfect, Roamy. Carpe Donktum is excellent.
Boot Edge Edge.
lol
wakey wakey
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
ba haaa haaa haaa
Yeah…that thread looks about right…
I think Hunter Biden is secretly a Hostage.
Sure, we make fun of him but he should be our mascot or spirit animal or whatever.
So sad about his upcoming suicide.
Heh
Comey: *Picture of him in a field*
OH YEAH!
Epstein: I didn’t kill myself.
FIN
What? No wailing or gnashing of teeth because of country music?
Guess we have to wait for Hotspur
Sure, we make fun of him but he should be our mascot or spirit animal or whatever.
I was thinking the same thing the other day. He’s living the Moron/Hostage Lifestyle to the fullest.
Getting slammed with morning meetings and stuff for my 401k/IRA that HAS to get done. Look for SS emails at lunchtime.
Reminder: Pray for Kanye
https://hillfaith.blog/2019/12/03/kanye-wests-closed-on-sunday-focuses-like-a-laser-on-faith-family/
Donald Trump is a conservative president and one of the cleanest men in politics, and Kanye West is a voice for traditional morality.
The Lord has a bizarre sense of humor.
Something something stone the workmen rejected something something
Committee hearings. They’re taking public testimony on a bill that involves sex ed. Pray for oso.
I still desperately want to see the book of Jonah done as a light comedy.
Jeebus. They’re bringing up the kids to provide “testimony”. Kill me nao.
Not VeggieTales, either. I think there’s a great opportunity here for a great comedian to play the role of the put-upon, reluctant, frustrated prophet who eventually comes around and does what’s being asked of him.
I was just noodling around at DU. Do you know they have candidate groups with their own messageboards? Like, you go to a page marked ‘Biden 2020’ and the banner at the top says, “You are in the Biden 2020 Group. Only members who have selected Joe Biden as their preferred Democratic presidential candidate are permitted to post in this Group.”
Then, there are other groups that are let’s say, only marked ‘Biden,’ and at the top of THAT page is printed, “This is a group, not a forum. Groups often serve as safe havens for members who share similar interests and viewpoints. Individuals who post messages contrary to a particular group’s stated purpose can be excluded from posting in that group.”
So, this shutting down of viewpoints, THEY DO THIS EVEN AMONG THEMSELVES. They don’t feel safe about arguing any-fucking-thing! Hilarious.
If there is anything like this on the right, I haven’t encountered it. The whole concept is anathema.
Kill me nao.
No. Your witness of this is needed for some greater good. Like taking your favorite stapler home and burning the building down.
If there is anything like this on the right, I haven’t encountered it. The whole concept is anathema.
This is part and parcel of why they can’t just sit down to a dinner with their extended family. They have never, ever learned how to communicate with a genuinely diverse group of people.
That reminds me of when I dissed Obama to a client’s fresh-out-of-college son a few years back when I still had the store. He was literally shaking. I thought that was odd.
Felt bad for the Dad, who was a total rightwinger and occasional ranting buddy of mine. Classic thing where a smart businessman pays them to educate the kid and they send him back a hate-filled commie with his head on backward.
They have no strong internal identity. Everything is superficial: what TV shows you watch, your tattoos, the politics that you publicly espouse.
Heh, all the college kiddos shake with rage when you challenge their worldview. Just keep hitting them with facts, the jitters will subside.
Safe spaces within safe spaces.
There are a few smart people on the left that pressure test their ideas but in general I don’t see much of it.
They don’t really go through the process to steel man an opposing argument or try to pick apart their own ideas to make them better.
I believe this is a result of leftism evolving into and ideology; away from a political philosophy.
But mostly because they are beta pussy assholes.
I guess beta pussy is duplicative. Shame on me.
I hope he/she never goes away:
First comment thread on this – Top 7 Amazing Opossum Facts!! – video, may be full of hostages…
David Pyc
1 month ago
My wife plays possum with me every time we go to bed.
———-
Sanders Wildlife
1 month ago
Be careful and don’t get bit!
———–
Daniel Allison
1 month ago
Don’t feel too bad. She does the same with me.
————
claude
1 month ago
Mine blows snot bubbles, go figure!
————
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxhDwZCWxdE
WTF? OBGYNs do not service penis’. Especially on perverts.
Even if a penis is removed, a gyn has done literally NO study on what is now in the place of the penis. I know they want to pretend it looks like a vagina, but it isn’t. It doesn’t work like one, and probably physically doesn’t resemble it much either. These people are insane.
So you dress in women’s clothing, take hormones, and call yourself a girl.
But you like women.
So you’re a lesbian?
The Left has always preferred shutting down other voices to destruct-testing their own ideas. They did thirty years ago when I was first directly exposed to them, same as now. It’s why they don’t like any kind of competition–they lose when they have to, so they rig it in their favor. Or just eliminate any real competitors.
I’m freezing rn. Don’t know why. house is set as it always is.
Can I bring a hotdog to my doctor and demand he give it a checkup?
Yes. Make sure you have your camera rolling.
I know they want to pretend it looks like a vagina, but it isn’t.
Saw some article about trannies, in the Guardian, I think. Something to do with problems they face and detransitioning. One had to do with the following – fake vaginas are made with inverted ballsacks and if you do not electrolysis it before surgery, it will still grow hair. Think about that.
Think about that.
No. I refuse. Trying to eat, here.
Hairiest vagina evar.
The media keeps telling me there are so many trannies out there so I just don’t see how access to medical care should be a problem for them. A totally tranny practice ought to be a goldmine.
And of course a tranny doctor would need a nurse. Might be a career opportunity for Laura.
One had to do with the following – fake vaginas are made with inverted ballsacks and if you do not electrolysis it before surgery, it will still grow hair. Think about that.
I’m sure issues such as this are covered in the standard OB/gyn training.
Deer is still hanging out around the house (for those not on facebook, my morning was allabout stella barking at a deer for … 20 minuets , until if finally went around to the other side. )
Talked it over with the wife. She asked “why?” about the .44, but took “‘Merica!” as an answer without further discussion.
I’m making a bet with myself to incentive-ize the purchase, though, so I won’t be buying until early next year.
Carin, I have like 5 email addresses for you, can you send me something so I know where to tell you to send your basket of dried “herbs”?
I’ve got hairy legs that turn blond in the sun.
carin dot obrien at gmail dot com
Thanks. Now go shave your legs.
And read the second email, first has the old address.
I learned about roaches. And the kids loved jumping on my lap.
/reads the first email in DIRECT violation of order
And I bet you loved having them do it.
So, Fauxcohontas is gonna abolish the Electoral College. Wonder how she’s gonna do that? It will take an amendment, right?
They loved watching hair come back down.
Kneepad Harris dropped out.
Leon, consider a .357 mag. They will also shoot .38 spl and .38 spl+p.
The ammo is a lot cheaper than 44, the .357 packs a huge wallop as does the 38 spl+p, and the 38 spl is more of a pleasure to shoot for target practice, and is still plenty powerful for stopping trannies coming through your window.
She just doesn’t give good blowjobs anymore, right MJ?
if Harris dropped out, that means scotttradamus was wrong.
I have a nice ultralight .38 already that I like a lot, that’d be my carry gun of choice. Fits nicely in my quick-draw fanny pack.
No, practicality is not the point here at all. I want a fucking cannon.
That freak needs to be in jail for harassment lawsuits.
The fact that anyone would have to play along with that freak’s mental illness makes me sick.
This blog is grody today. Possessed, or something.
*sprays holy water, febreze, lilac bathroom spray, ashes, eye of newt, and baking soda everywhere*
Whatever it is I think that should cover it.
Cannon?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taurus_Judge
I have a Desert Eagle in .44mag if you are at all interested in a fucking cannon, but I think you said you want a revolver.
WTF is laura doing? and why?
I’m looking for a revolver in particular. Thinking Ruger Redhawk or S&W 629 right now. Haven’t checked Taurus. The reviews on the Judge make it seem like something of a novelty.
I honestly don’t know what is funnier – the joke I stole or the idea that some people *may* thought I was serious about the anal tanning.
I wonder if the ball sack / vag hair would turn blonde in the sun for a tranny that didn’t get electrolysis and likes to sunbathe nude.
What if they had really small balls? Tiny pocket?
Are you saying MJ would make a bad tranny?
So, Fauxcohontas is gonna abolish the Electoral College. Wonder how she’s gonna do that? It will take an amendment, right?
——————————
I took this as the first sign that her campaign was over. She’s basically in free fall, which we all knew would happen. The more people see her, the less they like her.
So now she’s grasping at the dumb shit the left wants to stay permanently in power. Pretty soon she’ll be talking about mandatory voting or lowering the age to 16.
There’s a market for a buttplug that shines UV-A.
Not a big market, but a market.
Are you saying MJ would make a bad tranny?
—————-
I’d make a fab tranny. We both know it.
What I’m saying is that unless you want to put your dick in a hairy, blonde, inverted ball sack you’re a transphobe.
She just doesn’t give good blowjobs anymore, right MJ?
————————–
I’m married with a 2 year old. I don’t know what a blowjob is anymore.
I’m married with a 2 year old. I don’t know what a blowjob is anymore.
I would have thought you’d have forgotten what boobs feel like, but this is much sadder to hear.
I’ve forgotten what it feels like to share a bed with an adult woman.
Kamala Harris: Hoes mad
I care about very little besides the baby so whatever.
Sacrifices are made…in the short term I hope. LOL
Oh, this is gorgeous. I’d feel like I just bought a new Corvette.
https://www.smith-wesson.com/firearms/performance-center-model-629-v-comp
Mid-life crisis gun.
I care about very little besides the baby so whatever.
I hear you, but I kind of wanted to try for more, and Possum seems determined to undermine that, even if unwittingly.
Or this. I’m leaning toward a longer, weighty-er barrel. Your mom prefers long and weighty.
https://www.smith-wesson.com/firearms/performance-center-model-629-competitor-6-weighted-barrel
This made my day!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
What about shenanigans?
$1,578? Ummm, no.
I think he linked that in his twitter feed also. I think he did a bunch of them.
$1,578? Ummm, no.
I know, I know.
For comparison, used Anacondas go for $2k or more now.
First babies are made in a bed. After that, the couch.
I should write a book.
My anaconda don’t, my anaconda don’t
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun
Carin, you are such a frump.
Some babies are made in a car back seat, some on the beach, some on a sailboat deck, some in your mom’s basement, some on a camping trip in a tent, some in a hotel room, some in a swimming pool…
The list goes on and on.
Finally going to see someone about my shoulder today at 4:30. it would be super sweet if I could sleep w/o pain,but I’ve had it for 3 years and I survived …
Ask Mare. She’ll tell you.
If baby #1 is present – in the car, on the beach, sailboat, camping trip, etc … it’s not happening in any of those places.
First babies are made in a bed. After that, the couch.
2nd babies are made when 1st babies sleep, I’m reliably informed.
Not always practical to have a nooner when they’re in preschool.
I thought babies were made in the bathroom stall at a Journey concert.
I’m trying to give helpful information here.
Paradise By The Dashboard Light
I’m too old and fat to have sex in a car.
Well, maybe one of those plastic and aluminum toy cars that millennials buy. Meat Loaf was singing about a time when men were men and drove Land Yachts built in America.
The Tundra interior is pretty roomy, but location isn’t the issue. I’ve got 4 buildings available.
Insert. In and out.
Repeat if necessary.
*claps hands together
I knew it was only a matter of time
https://tinyurl.com/s6lsbz6
… icing and using aloe and burn creams …
S&W Performance Center stuff is pretty awesome
“Mommy, how are babies made?”
“Well first, Mommy comes home from her spin class with Jorge. Then she puts on her Motley Cru records and drinks a couple glasses of wine while waiting for Daddy to stop playing video games in his ‘man cave’ and come up for dinner…”
When I was doing tanning to fight my SAD, I burnt my, uh, cleft, fortunately not my taint.
“Well first, Mommy comes home from her spin class with Jorge. Then she puts on her Motley Cru records and drinks a couple glasses of wine while waiting for Daddy to stop playing video games in his ‘man cave’ and come up for dinner…”
If you could link Fallout 4 to a Peloton, I’d be skinny AF.
Comment by MJ on December 3, 2019 2:58 pm
Insert. In and out.
Repeat if necessary.
———
*takes notes*
*looks up and out at clouds thoughtfully*
I knew it was only a matter of time
https://tinyurl.com/s6lsbz6
… icing and using aloe and burn creams …
————————
– I don’t think I’d have told anyone about that Shit.
someone explain this to me please.
https://ballwash.com/collections/gift-sets/
In and out.
*ponders glass object on desk, gazes out of windows
I sure hope MJ is working from home if he’s got that on his desk.
Carin, it’s ordinary soap dressed up in bottles with names to make guys in their 20’s laugh and drop too much money on soap.
Much like deez nuts
https://buynutsacks.com/
It’s so people aren’t getting hurt on the golf course, falling off the ball washers.
If you could link Fallout 4 to a Peloton, I’d be skinny AF.
/jots down “Power Cycle 1000” for gift list
An actual funny story on HuffPost
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/peleton-christmas-ad-exercise-bike_n_5de5a660e4b0d50f32a775be
People Are Very Concerned For The Woman In Peloton’s Holiday Ad
Have you played it, Cavil? I’m doing a “lucky, nimble idiot with a handgun” build right now and it’s a blast.
Oh yeah, well familiar. Though I have this habit of collecting power armor suits, my main base looks like a museum for the things after a while…that’s when I don’t just fall into my default “sneaky sniper”, mind you.
I have tried to do a sniper run several times. Can’t get into it. If I do stealth I always end up going for blitz and melee.
Blitz and Melee would be good puppy names.
Pit bulls, both of them.
Though using the names for golden retrievers would be excellent for comedy value.
Damn it, now I’m defending Peleton. Skinny =\= fit. It’s entirely possible that the woman is naturally thin but isn’t in great shape. Or perhaps she just missed fitness classes but couldn’t find time to get away due to work/kids/etc. So her husband got her the Peleton bike so she’d be able to feel like she was part of a group again.
Blitz is a German shepherd, Melee is a pitbull.
If he got her that and she didn’t drop him like a dog turd, it’s because she asked.
I once met a dog named Chaos.
Elf on the Shelf: Mr. Stark, I don’t feel good.
https://tinyurl.com/sfzpxgg
The ad is weird. It bugged Pat from the first moment.
It’s the videoing aspect that is weird
Other than the commentary on its weirdness I haven’t seen the ad on the stations I’ve watched. 90% of the TV I’ve seen over the past 4 or 5 days has been football.
Peloton ads are popular on ESPN, basketball.
You aren’t watching enough football.
Step up.
Rogue fitness should do a parody ad where he gets her a squat rack.
I’m doing all my shopping at Rogue Fitness and Born Primitive this year. Two gift cards for Paula and I’m done. Small Christmas this year. We’re paying for gifts for one of her friends who has cancer.
Very long story but basically someone with diabetes, an eating disorder, celiac disease, chain smoker and anxiety who ignored her symptoms and doctor’s advice for a colonoscopy for months and now has Stage 3 colon cancer at age 39.
That sucks, jimbro.
That reminds me that I need to make a doctor’s appointment.
https://www.dailywire.com/news/watch-yang-squirts-whipped-cream-into-mouths-of-kneeling-men-campaign-manager-desperately-tries-to-stop-him
Sooooo…..I reside in a “older” home. Like High ceilings and lathe and plaster older home….years ago the homeowner installed drop ceilings. No shit, there I was…..minding my own business in my man cave thinking about hitting the rack. Better half goes into the bedroom to prepare her side of the rack. I get the….”Can you come look at this yell”. Apparently the plaster ceiling has decided to give and fallen onto the drop ceiling causing it to appear precarious in nature. RIGHT ABOVE MY RACK. I begin inspecting the situation (something I love to do right before bedtime) and determine that the plaster ceiling has in fact fallen, it is about a inch thick, and weighs about eight pounds per square foot. It is “if it falls on you, you wont be happy and possibly injured weight.” I have removed the fallen part from the ceiling and am fairly confident (fairly) that there will be no more droppage in the immediate future. Time to go to bed now as tomorrow is my long day where Im scheduled to travel for approx 12 to 14 hrs. I wonder if I can sleep in a motorcycle helmet?
Sorry about Paula’s friend, Jimbro. On the other hand, one of the Ph.D’s at work went to multiple dentists and doctors for what looked like a canker sore that wouldn’t heal. As recently as 3 weeks ago, he was still being told it wasn’t cancer. It’s cancer, and he is undergoing a maxillectomy (sp?) and reconstruction. I didn’t ask him if it had spread to the lymph nodes. He was cleaning out his office in case he doesn’t come back.
Oh, and he has none of the risk factors for mouth cancer – no family history, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t chew tobacco, great shape.
I’m guessing none of those dentists and doctors did a biopsy. And if not, why not? Cankers don’t last that long. Patient knows something isn’t right.
My neighbor quit his job a couple of years ago. 60ish years old. Within six months, his dog died (barely 3 years old), he had a heart attack, and then was diagnosed with mouth cancer. He had a bypass and most of his top teeth and some palate removed. Didn’t hear if he had to get chemo, too — maybe just radiation. Never saw him smoke or ‘chew’.
COBRA is way expensive, btw.
My other neighbor has a pitty. Beautiful dog but man they need to get it some serious training. It is crazy strong and it takes all the young man’s strength (and he’s as muscled as the dog) to keep it from jumping on people. Dog’s name is ‘Nipsy’. Umm…
Yeah, I’m nervous.
TeeRoy, didja think about doing a gut on the place and putting in some drywall?
If it’s not falling plaster, Teeroy, it’s the smoke alarm chirping for a dead battery. Always right at bedtime or just after, never at 3:30 PM when you have daylight to see by.
Welp, rent will be late. BUT. I got reminded I had a few thousand in my retirement account, which I’ve put in for a loan for enough to get through this period. I’ll talk to front office to explain the sitch. I can pay part now but the online portal won’t take partial…with any luck they’ll work with me on this. If not, well, we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.
God willing, the real solution comes quickly and I can replace the money in short order AND not have a crisis like this again. More apps tonight.
Well, if nothing else I make a decent object lesson, I guess.
Disregarding everyone, Randall pontificated.