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0

That’s the temp today. This is bullshit.

AsIWatchedTheDogChasingHisTail

FacebookIsBoringUntilNoon

HowToKeepTheCatDownstairs

IDoAllMyOwnStunts

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NameAnImportantMedievalBattle

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WhatScaresYouTheMost

WhyICouldNeverBeAMathTeacher

WorldsBestShortJoke

However cold it is, it won’t get you out of a pun.

MyNamesCarol

You’re welcome Michigan, you’re next. Have fun with the cold!

Update from Colorado Alex, some artwork to class up this joint:

SnowStLouis

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November 12, 2019
Categories: Chubs, FUCK YOU ICE, General Bitching, Snake juice guzzler, You're a douchenozzle for playing the Rosetta card, Your Mom, your mom has a robust rumpus room, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, your mom loves felt love, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, Your mom sends her love, Your mom should be on the new ten, your mom's cooter, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur, zero fucks . . Author: Jay in Ames

107 Comments

  1. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 9:01 am

    Not even december, and we were below zero. BS I tells ya.

  2. Comment by Vmaximus on November 12, 2019 9:06 am

    Is 35 in Houston, that is the 1 week in January weather

  3. Comment by Car in on November 12, 2019 9:15 am

    Well, it’s 12 here right now and we’ve got 6+ inches of snow …

    wakey wakey

  4. Comment by Hotspur on November 12, 2019 9:25 am

    We got ten inches (of snow). It’s supposed to be 4º tonight.

    This fucking global warming bullshit is frosting my ass.

  5. Comment by lclintsp on November 12, 2019 9:38 am

    Al Gore can suck my taint.

  6. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 9:41 am

    Religious nuttery from the left.

    https://www.huffpost.com/entry/scott-walker-holiday-christmas-tree_n_5dc8c8c4e4b00927b235966c

  7. Comment by mare on November 12, 2019 9:50 am

    This was an excellent poat. Jay in Ames is awesome and funny not the douche Hotspur says he is in his secret emails.

  8. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 9:54 am

    uh oh, mare wants something. she’s buttering me up.

  9. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 9:54 am

    Haha, they said 4 degrees here, too. It was 0 when I woke up, -1 on the way in to work.

    Good luck, Michigan!

  10. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 9:56 am

    pepe is flipping me off from NewMex, I’m sure. With gloves on, of course.

  11. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 10:00 am

    Wordpuss really doesn’t like it when the poat name is a number, though.

    8″ here. Just finished the driveway and area around the car. The rest of the parking lot and garage apron, and the path to the barn will have to be at lunchtime.

  12. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 10:06 am

    This was a perfectly normal snowfall for a month from now. Not a good omen. Also those friggin’ power poles in my field are never getting swapped out at this rate.

  13. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 10:10 am

    *We break a record today with a cold-high temperature of 23°*
    It could potentially be the COLDEST EVER this early in the Fall season, coming close to the previous record of 24° on November 24, 1991.

    Greta can eat broken glass.

  14. Comment by Jimbro on November 12, 2019 10:19 am

    Your mom likes my friggin’ power pole

  15. Comment by Jimbro on November 12, 2019 10:21 am

    It’s a balmy 30 degrees with freezing rain here

  16. Comment by MJ on November 12, 2019 10:25 am

    Cold here too.

    Fuck you global everything.

  17. Comment by Brother Cavil on November 12, 2019 10:31 am

    A bit chilly here by Alabama standards, but nowhere near what y’all are dealing with. Advantages to the South, there are a few.

  18. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 10:48 am

    It was sixty degrees here yesterday. Rainy this morning. They’re telling us the temperature is supposed to descend so quickly tonight as to cause frost “booms” or quakes. Like, the ground is going to so fucking suddenly heave and crack it produces a seismic event and sound.

    So we got that going for us. Which is nice.

  19. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 10:50 am

    I’ve been on work every night for a long time. Tomorrow is my first day off in a while. I’m pooped. Hope the FROST doesn’t keep me awake tonight, jeeeez.

  20. Comment by PepeLp on November 12, 2019 10:52 am

    16 degrees here this morning. Warming up nicely, though.

  21. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 10:54 am

    We had that in Sumpter a couple of times during polar vortex years.

  22. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 10:58 am

    Great, it’s going to sound like Michigan here. This is some fucking bullshit.

    *turns up Sounds of Connecticut on sleep machine*

    Ahhhhh.

  23. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 10:59 am

    12 degrees here. About 3-4 inches on the ground. They were saying it could be a record low. Not going to check if it was.
    No birdies on the deck. I hope they didn’t get frozen to their branches.

  24. Comment by lclintsp on November 12, 2019 10:59 am

    Jay, Mare just wants doughnuts. Trust me.

  25. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 10:59 am

    If you listen really closely, you can hear the shuffling sound of me passing my paycheck to Ned Lamont at gunpoint

  26. Comment by MJ on November 12, 2019 11:11 am

    Other sounds of Connecticut include steam powered machinery in Hartford and Adagio for Strings whenever Dick Blumenthal is near.

  27. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:22 am

    Michigan mostly sounds like blowing leaves this time of year. If you’re on the beach it sounds like a tiny version of ocean waves.

    It doesn’t all sound like a Tool concert, that’s just Carin’s house. And the Call to Prayer (to Satan) is so far just in Dearbornistan and Ba’altramck.

  28. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 11:26 am

    Poat updated.

  29. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 11:27 am

    It doesn’t all sound like a Tool concert, that’s just Carin’s house.

    I think right now it sounds like Christmas music.

  30. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:28 am

    Wordpuss really doesn’t like it when the poat name is a number, though.

    Shitty requirements

  31. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:30 am

    Hope the FROST doesn’t keep me awake tonight, jeeeez.

    staying at BIL’s house, which is right up a hill from a lake in South Canada, when the temp dips below -20, you can hear the lake ice creaking as it’s being created. It’s probably where childhood nightmares come from, with all the “monster” sounds.

  32. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:31 am

    That’s a beautiful painting, Alex.

    We’re doing a run later for something even more important than bread and milk later: coffee filters.

  33. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:32 am

    heh, coalex, I think roamy was going on an emergency run for the poat update.

  34. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:32 am

    coffee filters? I got a screen 15 years ago, never bought another package.

  35. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:38 am

    Paper filters are safer, according to the studies I’ve seen. There’s a measurable difference in cholesterol levels between paper-filtered coffee vs screened coffee, and paper was a the clear winner. I was doing french-press coffee for a while, and had mine tested. Only bad test I ever got for it, so I went back. I use the french press for chocolate and tea.

  36. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:40 am

    hmm, you studied your coffee maker?

  37. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:41 am

    Facebook banned the white cat meme with the Epstein whistleblower

    Amazing.

  38. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 11:45 am

    Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:40 am
    hmm, you studied your coffee maker?

    It’s Leon. Of course he did.

  39. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:45 am

    I had moved my coffee-making apparatus to my office and nothing else had changed but me using a french press rather a paper filter at home. My accidental N=1 experiment said it wasn’t doing me favors, so I stopped.

  40. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:47 am

    I have kickass Bunn machine at home now. Makes 10 cups in about 3 minutes.

  41. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 11:49 am

    I want to see your work on that proof.

  42. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 11:58 am

    Records were lost in the move. Not kidding. I’m furious, I was tracking over time for my own sake.

  43. Comment by Hotspur on November 12, 2019 11:58 am

    While Jay is blowing all of you, I’m going to go home and blow snow.

  44. Comment by Pendejo on November 12, 2019 12:02 pm

    The little poating directive above stating that it was ok to be a db last week has been up for more than a week and is therefore invalid.

  45. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 12:04 pm

    The difference is that last week we didn’t mean it.

  46. Comment by Snow on November 12, 2019 12:06 pm

    Hotspur, would you mind gently caressing my scrotum during this procedure? It’ll speed things up for you.

  47. Comment by Jimbro on November 12, 2019 12:08 pm

    “snow”

  48. Comment by Brother Cavil on November 12, 2019 12:11 pm

    I fail to see what a Quebecois white boy rapper has to do with this.

  49. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 12:15 pm

    Snow to Hotspur

  50. Comment by scott on November 12, 2019 1:02 pm

    Laptop crashed 3 times in less than 24 hours, so I figured it was near death and ordered its replacement.

    Works perfect now.

  51. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 1:12 pm

    What are the specs on the old one? I’m in the market for a personal backup machine, as I’m still working on mine after my desktop died last year.

  52. Comment by Hotspur on November 12, 2019 1:35 pm

    Not sure of the specs., but it might be a little out of date. The case is made of wood and leather.

  53. Comment by scott on November 12, 2019 1:37 pm

    I am going to keep using it until croaks.

    It’s a lot bigger than the new one and I am more comfortable with the layout.

  54. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 1:42 pm

    I’ll just watch the CostCo emails like I have been, then. I get occasional hiccups with mine in accessing the file system, which is worrisome without a backup.

  55. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 1:43 pm

    don’t you have a university near you? Our tax dollars buy them new laptops every couple of years, and the old ones sell cheap.

  56. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 1:45 pm

    How much could we possibly get for an old, underpowered HP full of stump burning porn?

  57. Comment by Brother Cavil on November 12, 2019 1:50 pm

    Just what I need. Mystery charge to checking account put me overdrawn. Credit union’s taking its sweet time getting to me in customer service phone queue. What was the point of juggling bills to keep this from happening…mumblegrumble…

  58. Comment by Brother Cavil on November 12, 2019 2:15 pm

    Oh, joy. I had an AD&D policy through my credit union I’d forgotten all about that pulls quarterly…and it was time. Had dad as beneficiary. Don’t have anyone left it would really go to…and I have plenty through work. Got it cancelled and it shouldn’t hit me again until after I get paid. Still in the hole though. Grrr.

  59. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 2:24 pm

    Bummer, Cavil, never fun to overdraw, but at least it wasn’t fraud.

    I’m making these: https://www.yummly.com/recipe/Keto-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies-9010877?prm-v1#directions

    Will post review shortly, as I do all things.

  60. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 2:37 pm

    Cooling now.

  61. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 2:38 pm

    does almond flour put an overwhelming almond flavor on everything? Chocolate chip cookies made with almond sounds really good.

  62. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 2:38 pm

    I always drive into the lot at work early and chill a few minutes, phone surfing, etc. The last few times, as today, someone else pulls in to park near me and sits there blasting the ghetto music. It is annoying. Thump thump. BOOM. Some whiny voice drones tinnily through their car’s structure. Thump thump. BOOM.

    Jeez Louise. This art form can’t die soon enough.

  63. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 2:41 pm

    old people hatin on POC.

  64. Comment by lauraw on November 12, 2019 2:43 pm

    *pulls pants up to armpits and settles into rocking chair while groaning*

  65. Comment by Brother Cavil on November 12, 2019 2:44 pm

    Heh. On this day in 1970…

  66. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 2:44 pm

    heh, the exploding whale

  67. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 2:46 pm

    Not really. Almond taste gets drowned out by anything stronger. Just bit one. Pretty good, no real sense of “almond”, overpowered by the butter, chocolate, and vanilla. Erithrytol cools my tongue, and that’s still there in the recipe, but I believe that’s genetic and might not be true for everyone. These would be great with coffee.

  68. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 2:48 pm

    They are a little crumbly, but I swapped psyllium husk for the xantham gum.

  69. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 2:58 pm

    They strengthened as they cooled. Plate crumbs are comparable with normal cookies. Overall, I’d put this at a 4/5 to a normal cookie at 5/5. Fake sugar can induce an insulin response comparable to the real thing, so I don’t dare make these all the time, but as a once-in-a-while, these might be preferable to a real cheat.

  70. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 3:13 pm

    I should try making keto ice cream.

  71. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 3:31 pm

    Erythritol is much better for things that are supposed to be cold. The frozen custard that I make works perfectly with it.

  72. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 3:36 pm

    This is probably the most of it I’ve eaten in one sitting. It actually feels cold in my stomach, sort of the opposite of a big load of spicy salsa. Very weird.

  73. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 3:36 pm

    I made regular choc chip cookies, using the Toll House recipe, over the weekend. Added 1/2 c more flour, a variety of big raisins, and chopped walnuts. Used vegan chips (cocoa mass, cocoa butter, sugar, vanilla), substituted the butter with vegan fake butter spread, which I discovered needed less time in the oven. A couple extra minutes made it taste burned. (Per recipe, bake 9-11 minutes. When I used to use margarine – mostly soy – I could leave them in the full 11 with no change in taste. With these – 9 min, max.)

    Most I put in the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind. My fat lard will have to wait until the weekend.

  74. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 3:38 pm

    big raisins

    This was a criminal act.

  75. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 3:59 pm

    best comment on FB today:

    Weird seeing the phrase “Hot Bucket of Diarrhea” in a story that isn’t a review of Terminator: Woke Fate

  76. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 4:07 pm

    The series ended with 2.

  77. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 4:25 pm

    Also I’m now at the point that I would advocate against military retaliation for a nuclear attack on San Francisco. We should send a fruitcake and a Hallmark card instead.

  78. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 4:27 pm

    To be more specific..’Mixed Jumbo Raisins’. Mmmm, so good in cookies or mixed with peanuts.

  79. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 4:28 pm

    I’d think salting the earth where it used to sit, would be better than a fruitcake.

  80. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 4:30 pm

    No no, the fruitcake is for whoever bombed SF. As a stern warning not to nuke any other cities in California.

    And raisins in cookies are as bad as reptiles with legs.

  81. Comment by Jimbro on November 12, 2019 4:35 pm

    Watch to the end

    Watch to the end. Then question everything you know… pic.twitter.com/PcS8qihUdb

    — Dave Rubin (@RubinReport) November 12, 2019

  82. Comment by Jimbro on November 12, 2019 4:37 pm

    Almost time to replenish the Strategic Fruitcake Reserve. I haven’t seen the fruit in the stores yet but I haven’t been looking for it either.

  83. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 12, 2019 4:50 pm

    haha, that’s not a kid!

    Reminds me of old episodes of Jackass on MTV.

  84. Comment by scott on November 12, 2019 4:56 pm

    It’s almost time to revisit Kenny Rogers videos.
    Almost

  85. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 5:13 pm

  86. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 12, 2019 5:56 pm

    Nic Cage is going to be in Color Out of Space.

    I might have to go see that one.

  87. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 7:03 pm

    If you don’t have control over the culture this seems like a very unstable theory pic.twitter.com/qdjeM9PQ7A

    — Misha (@drethelin) November 11, 2019

  88. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 7:11 pm

    https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2019/11/12/sexual-photos-and-videos-from-a-marines-paid-site-allegedly-spread-around-camp-wilson/

    In order to make some extra money to pay bills and help her child, a single-mom and Marine reservist said she created an account that sold sexual videos and photos of herself online.

    She said she now has to stop the account because a subscriber took the videos and pictures off her page and started distributing it to Marines in Twentynine Palms, California, during an exercise.

    Sgt. Madison Willis with the Marine Corps Forces Reserve said she started selling the pictures and videos to take care of her son.

    “I’m a single mom and full time student so I was doing what I could to pay the bills.” Willis said in messages to Marine Corps Times.

    “It doesn’t make sense for me to get a night job because I already pay for his school during the day, and then I’d have to pay for night care and which would just be my whole pay check anyway,” she added.

  89. Comment by osoloco11 on November 12, 2019 7:15 pm

    Disney +. Rewatching Marvels. We don’t own Iron Man 2, IM 3, GOTG2, Dr Strange, Black Panther, or Captain Marvel. Saving Mandalorian until next week 3rd episode drop.

  90. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 7:20 pm

    CoAlex does it mention anywhere in that article, where the father of the kid is and why he isn’t paying some support?

  91. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 7:22 pm

    Beasn, I didn’t see any reference to a father.

  92. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 7:23 pm

    This is pretty funny. Some fat feminists threw water/a drink on Milo and Gavin McGinnis. He tells how they were able to track her down, find out she does nudies on social media….bought some nudies and sent them to her family…then found out she solicited older men on some site and let her wealthy daddy, VP of Merrill Lynch (think Chicago), know about it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B6mp4KCNk0

  93. Comment by PepeLp on November 12, 2019 8:00 pm

    Nice, Beasn.

  94. Comment by scott on November 12, 2019 8:48 pm

    Beasn, your meteorite made our local news. It’s amazing to me how many different cameras caught that.

    20 years ago that would have been an unsolved mystery.

  95. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on November 12, 2019 8:55 pm

    I miss travel agents. I’m trying to modify my tickets for Thanksgiving and Christmas, because I basically have to swap them (I was going to CO for T-day and PDX for Xmas, now I’m going to PDX for grandma’s funeral and staying for T-day, and going to CO for Xmas). Orbitz’s online system is frustrating, and their customer service call center is even worse.

  96. Comment by osoloco11 on November 12, 2019 9:05 pm

    MA is 16. Her new meds are messing her up. Doggie shitstorm.

  97. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 9:47 pm

    It’s amazing to me how many different cameras caught that.

    IKR? Pretty cool. Looked like it was very near here on what had to be entry (thus the boom).

    It almost sounded like thunder to me. Almost. Or something big that slid on the ice and hit something. Husband was upstairs and said it shook the house a little. He thought something blew up.

  98. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 9:47 pm

    Beasn’s meteorite made the news here, too.

    And Milo was savage. Good job.

  99. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 9:50 pm

    The Taurid meteor shower peaks yesterday and tonight, though some will be seen through the end of the month.

  100. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 9:50 pm

    It’s the Taurids meteor shower. Glad no one is spacewalking.

  101. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 9:50 pm

    A Coke to Beasn, you beat me to it.

  102. Comment by beasn on November 12, 2019 10:27 pm

    Roamy, is what we heard the meteor speeding past the sound barrier? Friend of mine lives down in the city and she didn’t hear anything. We heard it as it zoomed by and from all the videos it seemed brighter/lower too, on this side of the MO river.

    It’d be nice to know where it landed if there was something left to land.
    It was going E to W and a lightening detector picked it up in Wellsville, (close to Columbia…college town)..which is about an hour W of here.

    More from KS city affiliate for those who didn’t see it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE4KqJnN2pA

  103. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 11:01 pm

    Beasn, yes. The slow ones are 25,000 mph.

  104. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 11:02 pm

    Entering the atmosphere does slow them down, but they are bookin’ it.

  105. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 12, 2019 11:10 pm

    Holy crap, Brian Stelter is only 34. Talk about rode hard and put up wet. I thought he was 50.

  106. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 13, 2019 12:33 am

    25k? wow, that’s like faster than a speeding bullet!

  107. Comment by Sean M. on November 13, 2019 3:49 am

    Damp eggplant repulsed Paulie.


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