Two Days ‘Till Tool Thursday

Well, Jimbro apparently is busy and he asked me yesterday if I could fill in today, and he SPECIFICALLY asked me to do a Tool post (I swear), and I figured … “What the heck? What do I have going on?”   Then Pat ended up in the hospital.  But I put my priorities in order, pulled up my big-cis-girl gender-conforming panties, and got to business.

What *is* Tool? I mean, besides an alt- prog-art-post metal band?  This, according to Maynard:

“Tool is exactly what it sounds like: It’s a big dick. It’s a wrench. … we are … your tool; use us as a catalyst in your process of finding out whatever it is you need to find out, or whatever it is you’re trying to achieve.”

Although not their first album, their popularity started with this song:

Maynard’s … bizarre dance/performance style has puzzled people. How can he possibly sing hunched over like that? Yet … he does with power.  Often watching him, before he disappeared into the back of the stage, was like watching an alien attempting to use a human body for the first time.

 

Their early stuff is louder, angrier, and basically “harder”.   The songs were also radio-length playable. This  disappears with their  1996 masterpiece Ænima, when the band transcended truly into genius  with songs that could not be contained with the radio-friendly three-and-a-half minutes.  Yes. Thirteen minute songs.

Perhaps the best heavy metal album of the entire ’90s—is the magnum opus of TOOL’s first decade, the ambitious, spiritual peak of alternative nation’s crew of sensitive, reclusive cynics.- Apple Music

“Stinkfist”, “Forty Six & 2”, and the song “Ænima” are all standouts on this album, but my favorite is the 13 minuet masterpiece “Third Eye”.

Is he a weird dude? Yes. How does he sing like that? Don’t know.    But, I really can’t express to you guys how hard I love this song. Four minuets in is when the song really starts, and I suppose that is a limiting factor for many music listeners … but Tool fans are waiting for that scream that occurs around 4:20.

 

How could they possibly top Ænima?  Well, then came Lateralus.   What song to pick?  “Lateralus” itself is the “math” song. “The Grudge” is one of my favorite. I’m going to have to go with Parabol/Parabola – the sound is better in this video, but the one below has a bit of weird Maynard performing before he completely disappeared into the back of the stage. The sound really is better in the linked video – the one below have the vocals drowning out the rest of the band, etc, bla bla bla

 

And now a word from our sponsors.   Not on an “album” (it was released on an EP) but Tool’s version of “No Quarter” is one of my favorite songs ever. Damn is that good.

 

Two more albums to go!!  10,000 days was released in 2006. A very solid addition to the Tool library, although many people point to the previous two albums as their best.  Don’t care, love it anyway.   I have yet to hear “Vicarious” at a show, and it appears it’s on the solid set for this tour – so hopefully I’ll get my wish on Saturday. Danny makes a mistake on this live performance – and it screws up Maynard (who it appears makes the mistake) and just says “what the fuck are we doing ? …. of all nights”.     Kinda funny.

 

 

After 10,000 days, we had to wait 10,000 days for the next album. Some hate it. Whatever bitches.  You can’t please everyone.   Here’s Invincible from the night I saw them in Chicago.

In summary, Tool is the best band ever, and if you don’t like them you really should re-evaluate your life choices. Where did you go wrong? Is it your parent’s fault? Probably. All of that is unimportant – the who’s, the why’s -because it’s not too late to rectify this.

 

Embrace the Tool.

132 Comments

  1. Best poat ever.

  2. Car in, as the resident expert on rock music created by non-septuagenarians, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on Chevelle. I know they’ve been around a long time but I’m just now getting a dose and I kinda like their sound.

  3. Car in still doesn’t know how to add “Read More” tags.

  4. So, where’s MJ when you need a poat stomped?

  5. I feel bad but all my work buds are out helping with a grid search – and i’m here waiting to hear from Pat. Girl has been missing since yesterday at 1:30 am. Wish I could help. It’s cold and I’m the pessimistic type about these things.

  6. Now you’re gonna get her going on Chevelle too?

  7. I can’t find the fricken read more thing. I’ve looked. I know one of you has my back.

  8. I LOVE Chevelle. Love them. I saw them this summer, and they were just phenomenal live as well. One of my favorite bands.

  9. Here’s my favorite song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGga2wGtSrI

  10. I fixed it. It’s the right-most button on the widget toolbar. Looks like a solid line over a dotted line over another solid line.

  11. They’re losing their bass player. He’s a bil, and he doesn’t want to tour. He’s playing out till the end of the year. IT’s a shame. The guys are all related. The bass player replaced the original bass player who was an actual brother. I don’t know if they have any other bil’s that can fill in? Dude also does back up vocals, so they need a bass player who can sing.

  12. Im going to have to pass on the Big Dick band……someone else can have my share. But more power to those that are into that kinda thing….

    Im off! To enable compulsive gamblers in my immediate environs. Happy Trails and Fair Sky to you all.

  13. I fixed it. It’s the right-most button on the widget toolbar. Looks like a solid line over a dotted line over another solid line.

    Looks like we both fixed it. Where’s the read more tag?

    Look for the red rounded rectangle.

  14. /pretends to read leon’s instruction on how to find the button

  15. Jesus.

  16. Comment by TeeRoy Jenkins on November 7, 2019 8:46 am
    Im going to have to pass on the Big Dick band……someone else can have my share. But more power to those that are into that kinda thing….

    ——-

    I share TeeRoy’s kind thoughts to those who like this music.

    Also, this music is shit and I’d rather listen to tapes of Hillary and Bill after Monica-gate (who wouldn’t?) than listen to this garbage.

    But I mean that in a nice way.

  17. Oops, forgot to put music in parentheses.

  18. Carin, sorry to hear Pat’s not feeling well. Hope they figure it out and he gets what he needs to get better real soon!

  19. Yes, far more important is Pat’s health. Prayers up for sure.

  20. /takes mare out of my will

  21. Comment by Car in on November 7, 2019 8:48 am
    /pretends to read leon’s instruction on how to find the button

    No man actually knows how to find the button.

  22. The button is a lie.

  23. There’s a commercial on TV that has been playing the Wintergatan music machine bass line. It was driving me crazy until I figured out what that familiar music was.

  24. Anyone available to put an idiot with a defective brain out of his misery? Me, specifically. I’d rather it be someone I respect am friends with like mostly tolerate barely know from some random Internet blog than an absolute stranger.

  25. Tool will solve all your problems BroC.

  26. Not this, it won’t.

  27. I give this post 3 stinkfists

    ***

    👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼

  28. We all know Pat is in a better place. Quit pretending.

  29. We all know Pat is in a better place. Quit pretending.

    The strip club?

    Or, did he go to live on a farm?

  30. If he’s anywhere but Detroit, it’s a better place.

  31. So Virginia is going full retard, possibly passing $15/hr minimum wage, gun laws, etc. Gonna be funny to see what happens.

    Also, the VA Dems are talking about ratifying the ERA, which even some on the left aren’t thrilled about, since it would open up a nasty legal can of worms. Someone pointed out that when the ERA was first proposed, ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ meant the same thing, but now they are two separate concepts, which means theoretically no protection for trannies.

  32. Detroit? Do they have good hospitals in Detroit?

    My son was born in William Beaumont. That’s all I know about hospitals in MI.

  33. MO passed minimum wage last year. A-holes got it on the ballot via petition. So the majority economic illiterates can dictate to you how to run your business.

  34. We really should just expand the boundary of the District.

    I suspect the remainder of VA and MD would be happy to shed the assholes.

  35. Or VA could just split again. There’s precedent.

  36. Or just add VA and MD in their entirety. I’m feeling lazy.

  37. So, in news that’s totally not racist, many new editions of classic children’s books have updated art. 100% of the time, this is the replacement of a white character with a “person of color”, and an apparent sex change at least some of the time if it wouldn’t require a change of the text.

    Children’s toy catalogs have maybe 10% white kids, almost none of them male.

  38. Or just add VA and MD in their entirety. I’m feeling lazy.

    They are both commonwealths iirc, so the counties are actually pretty easy to break off. Rural VA and MD are as bright red as anywhere else where more food is produced than consumed.

  39. So I’m an idiot because I just today realized that the whole impeachment thing is not just about undoing the 2016 election, but is also about finally getting revenge for Bill Clinton’s impeachment back in the 90s. If 9/11 hadn’t occurred, then W would have been impeached for some made up reason, but after it happened the left couldn’t do so without facing a severe backlash. This is the first chance that they’ve had, and it’s been stewing for twenty years…

  40. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 7, 2019 10:35 am
    So, in news that’s totally not racist, many new editions of classic children’s books have updated art. 100% of the time, this is the replacement of a white character with a “person of color”,

    ===========

    I remember seeing a Tom & Jerry cartoon a while back. In the original, Tom was in the kitchen with a stereotypical black “mammy” character. Heavy, wearing an apron, ratty slippers, cooking on the stove. In the revamped cartoon, they changed the person cooking to a slim white woman, but the bizarre thing was, they didn’t change the characters voice. Still had that stereotypical mammy voice.

  41. That has to be literally the only example of a character becoming white, Pepe.

  42. Children’s toy catalogs have maybe 10% white kids, almost none of them male.

    So everything is a McDonald’s commercial now?

  43. When someone puts up a flyer that says, “It’s okay to be white” and the stupid police are considering considering (not a typo) it a hate crime, you know you’re effed.

  44. many new editions of classic children’s books have updated art. 100% of the time, this is the replacement of a white character with a “person of color”

    One of my favorite books as a kid was the Mary Poppins books. There were four. I read them over and over again. Today I couldn’t tell you why. They rejiggered the one where Mary takes the kids to the four corners of the earth….one being Africa with stereotypical African beads, feathers, and general lack of clothing. Because rayciss. I believe this section was either rewritten in the past decade or left out.

    “On the knee of the negro lady sat a tiny black piccaninny with nothing on at all…..

    “Ah bin ‘specting you a long time, Mar’ Poppins,” she said, smiling. “You bring dem chillun dere into ma li’l house for a slice of water-melon right now. My, but dem’s very white babies. you wan’ use a li’l black boot polish on dem. Come ‘long, now. You’se mighty welcome.”

    It was in the first book, which was written in 1934. Chaper called, ‘Bad Tuesday.’ If you get the books, double-check you have the original words.

  45. ..original words AND illustrations…

  46. In the illustration for that chapter, one African is doing a jig with a spear, and I can’t figure out what the other one is doing but I can see the whites of the eyes.

  47. Egads, that’s pretty cringey, beasn.

  48. one being Africa with stereotypical African beads, feathers, and general lack of clothing. Because rayciss. I believe this section was either rewritten in the past decade or left out.

    In the updated version the Africans are all wearing Western t-shirts from failed sports teams or concerts five years ago, starving, shooting each other with AKs, and attacking white farmers while their leaders embezzle billions in aid dollars and vacation in Europe.

  49. I have run out of work.

    *frets*

  50. Cringey or perceived racism is not a good enough reason to rewrite or ban a book. We all know that. If anything, it’s a good launching point for other lessons.
    Maybe in this case, skim over it. The worst part of it is inserting the word ‘watermelon’. Nothing wrong with African tribesmen wearing next to nothing in that heat, at that time. Or the beads/feathers.

  51. https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  52. I should leave my copy of Little Black Sambo at the local school and see if they evacuate it.

  53. Agreed, CoAlex.

  54. Or Tikki Tikki Tembo no sah rembo chari bari ruchi pip beri pembo

    And Chang.

  55. That is too funny, mare.

  56. I wonder if Hillary will jump in at the last minute?

    Related question, I wonder how much of a bubble her advisors live in?

  57. Pretty sure you can’t read Huck Finn anymore. Even though it’s one of the foremost anti-racism books ever written.

  58. HILLARY KILLED SMUDGE!

  59. scott, how good/fast are you at cutting down trees? I’ve got four that need to be chopped.

  60. Is that the name of that cat..Smudge?

  61. yes beasn

  62. Scott, I hope your work picks up.

    I can’t picture you as a stay at home husband. Although I’m sure you could have the house cleaned, the laundry done, a lovely dinner ready, and wearing something sexy when Laura gets home.

  63. he just put a really hot cast iron pan on the new counter.

  64. I’ve got 100 year old paper dolls by Grace Drayton (artist who did Campbell Soup kids). Some of Dolly Dingle’s dollies may be considered picaninnies in the way she drew/colored them. I’m drawing a blank as to whether I’ve ever seen them used in a derogatory way.

    —It is a pidgin word form, which may be derived from the Portuguese pequenino[1] (a diminutive version of the word pequeno, “little”). In modern sensibility, the term implies an archaic depiction or a caricature used in a derogatory and racist sense.—

  65. Hahahahahaha

    The Bee explains Assault Rifles

  66. Dealing with an idiot customer in California who bought a boatload of stuff at a local auction. He got a grandfather clock, a table, 400 pieces of china and a bunch of other stuff. He’s upset that he has to pay money for shipping.

    I just learned that he repeated his mistake at another auction gallery.

    This one is in Europe. HA HA HA HA

  67. I have Song of the South that I pirated from the internet. You can’t buy it in the USA.

    I’ve burned it to DVD for several friends. If you want one let me know.

    There is nothing racist about it, but victims gonna victim.

  68. Any updates on Pat?

  69. Don’t you just send it free, scott? Can’t you give him a break?

  70. I have had his stuff in storage for 5 months now. He’s trying to wear me down.

    Them – $200???? But I only paid $100 for the item!!!??!?!?
    Me – I guess you should have purchased something nicer.

  71. Donald Trump Jr. went on the View.

    https://www.waynedupree.com/on-jr-whoopi-behar/

  72. If he never springs for shipping, can you put it back up for auction?

  73. Heh, they wouldn’t even say his name.

    https://www.waynedupree.com/joy-behar-whoopi-don-jr-name/?source=right-rail-recent

  74. Eventually I can, but it won’t come to that.

  75. yeah, what’s the time limit on keeping his stuff?

  76. Chargers are on tonight. They are fun to watch.

  77. I consider it abandoned after 2 years.

    Legally, I can auction it after 6 months or a year ( I forget which) if I put a notice in the legal section of his local newspaper.

    He’ll pay eventually. He knows he got a fair price because he can’t find anyone willing to do it for less.

  78. Regarding the sleep thing in the last thread, I don’t have trouble sleeping but once I wake up I’m up. Mrs. Pupster comes trucking upstairs around 1:30-2 every night and wakes me up most of the time. She loves to stay up late and sleep in, and Boy2 works 3:30 to 11:30 so she like to cook for him when he gets home. If I do get back to sleep it is very light until my alarm goes off at 5:30. I’m usually up before that.

    This is probably bad but I’ll take 2 benadryl and 2 ibuprofen if I can’t sleep because of my back, but that only happens a couple of times a month. Just try and stay awake after that and a glass of milk.

  79. https://tinyurl.com/y2w5rhv3

  80. Paula goes to bed super early since she’s up so early for Crossfit before work. I try to go up before 9/at 9 when I know she’s working because Star barks like a psycho when I enter the room. I’ll read for a while until the zombies chase me in my sleep.

  81. Star needs to chillthefuckout.

  82. Will she take a treat from you?

    You could fix it so she is happy to see you come upstairs.

  83. Ben went with a friend of his from school to a forum at Husson College in Bangor. Her mom is a defense lawyer and it’s some discussion about Title IX and the whole MeToo bullshit. Should be entertaining for him to see how the woke college people react to a lawyer who defends guys accused of rape.

  84. She will, it’s her reaction to me when I enter any room. She is a weirdo rescue dog. She’ll come in from outdoors, come over to get scratches behind the ears and as soon as I stop bark like I’ve never met her before. Paula’s dad thinks she’s a special needs dog but we disagree, she’s crafty and smarter than she lets on.

  85. I bet a professional trainer could fix her.

  86. MaryAnn has arthritis. $250 and 3 prescriptions later. Her OTC has 2day free delivery at WalMart.com. $50. This cold weather outed her arthritis.

  87. Benny has a hernia that the vet said we could watch or treat with surgery. We’re probably going to do the surgery because a tear in the abdominal wall is only a few hours away from being a real issue if anything else goes wrong.

  88. https://www.cfr.org/blog/us-dependence-pharmaceutical-products-china

  89. A part of me wonders if we’ll eventually discover that it isn’t vaccines causing autism, but Chinese-made vaccines that are causing problems, because they’re tainted on a much larger scale than anyone was willing to admit.

  90. A local professional dog trainer has a radio talk show every other Saturday from 2-3. She takes callers questions for the entire hour.

    You should give her a crack at it.

  91. I have heard the problem brought up before, just not sure I remember the answer right.

    I do remember being surprised when she said the dog isn’t’ being protective, it’s being possessive.

  92. We’ve often said that we need Cesar Millan

    Followed soon by “Even Cesar would lose”

    She’s a good dog other than the barking. It’s only me, never Paula or the boys. Both dogs act like psychos with anyone new. We’ll let Rowan around new people and tell them just to ignore him. If anyone new tries to pet him he gets skittish and lowers his ears while looking at them sideways as he walks around them.

  93. Scott, MA was considered toy possessive. Doggy Daycare doesn’t allow toys or blankets. I guess the possessive 💩 is real

  94. “lowers his ears while looking at them sideways”

    That’s what the coyote did when Laura threatened it with a rake

  95. Dan always talks tough until we actually meet with the Vet. We could hear the Vet Techs and the Vets playing with our dog. Vet tech “We’re taking her for a blood screen to see which pain med is best”. (Listening to conversations through door. “OMG she’s so cute”. “So soft”. She’s so snuggly”)

  96. Apparently that’s dog for “come at me bro”.

  97. I’m all for “Chinese vaccines cause autism” as a narrative. I don’t even care if it’s true.

    Well, a little, but not really.

  98. Saw a link for vaccinations using aborted baby parts.

  99. My money is on Roundup or corn syrup.

  100. I love corn syrup. Dark or light Karo. With peanut butter and a warm flour tortilla. 👋🏻 From Type II

  101. I need to add the Clintons to that list.

  102. Come at me bro happens every few months when the dogs need to reestablish the hierarchy. Rowan looks scary with the hair up, teeth bared and a wicked growl. Star has a notch out of her ear after she tried to push him around a couple years back.

    https://tinyurl.com/y4cmydan

  103. cott, how good/fast are you at cutting down trees? I’ve got four that need to be chopped.

    I’ve got an idea …

    /loads tire and gasoline into trunk of car

  104. Spent the afternoon at Detroit Receiving Hospital again. They still don’t know why he can’t move his arm. Another MRI tomorrow morning.

  105. Best dogs ever.

  106. They found the missing girl this afternoon. Not good.

  107. Moose got two dinner tonight. He was more than happy to eat it. Stella just looked at me and ignored it.

    The kids ACTUALLY FED THE DOGS. I hadn’t even asked them, but I told them I’ve been trying to get them to eat early.

  108. What do they suspect is wrong with Pat?

  109. What Scott says. What is wrong with Pat. Muscular? Neurological?

  110. Prostate?

  111. The entire arm or just parts of it? Sensation?

  112. Gender dysphoria?

  113. Shouldn’t kid about this stuff.

    I hope it’s nothing.

  114. Hope they fix Pat and it’s nothing serious.

  115. It’s something nerve related. It’s either it’s pinched in his neck somewhere – surgical answer – or he got a virus (it started with a headache and then worked it’s way down there) and it will slowly go away and he’ll need PT. It’s really more annoying. I mean, it’s “serious” because he seriously can’t move his arm. But it’s not a clot or a stroke or anything. He can move his hand. He can flex his wrist. And he can push away. It’s his bicep that’s not firing.

  116. I think he needs a fake reg for his arm.

  117. Feel more better Pat!

    You may have to vote for him tomorrow, CARin.

  118. Re: vaccines and autism – my theory is diet soda or possibly marijuana use.

    Re: Chinese drugs – I’ve built up a 90 day reserve on my heart meds as part of my preps. They had problems with one of the manufacturers some years ago, and I was one of the unlucky ones given an alternate med until the factory got straightened out. They kept the existing stock for those over 65, figuring they would be more sensitive to med changes. Rah.

  119. I asked him if all the guys at work were aware of the current election going on at BBF. They all tune in. That probably counts for about 8 of the mysterious votes.

  120. Re: vaccines and autism – my theory is diet soda or possibly marijuana use.

    I really hope they find the cause but I hope they don’t pin in on something I or Mrs. Pupster did or didn’t do.

  121. It was probably because you touched yourself down there too much.

  122. COOMER!!!

  123. *puts down Pat voodoo doll*

    *picks up Maynard doll*

  124. Gross.

  125. WASH YOUR HANDS

  126. If anyone new tries to pet him he gets skittish and lowers his ears while looking at them sideways as he walks around them.

    Our neighbor at the farm has a red heeler named Daisy. First time we met, I asked if I could give her a pet and his reply was, ‘If she’ll let you’. Husband went first and was able to give her a scritch behind one ear, then she bared her fang on one side of her mouth. I let her sniff my hand and she showed me all of her front teeth. No sound, then looked away all snooty and shit.
    I had to laugh thinking of laura and scott what they would say about that asshole.

    Few months later, went back to the farm and the neighbor had just finished the little job we asked him to do (for $$). Daisy was with him. As husband and her human talked, she came over to sniff my hand, turned sideways and slid down my shins until she came to rest on top of my feet for some full on belly rubs.

  127. Oooo, Sessions running for Senate again. Plus he’s not bashing Trump.

  128. Then again, there was that sperm donor with all the autistic kids, so there has to be some genetic component. Maybe it’s like eczema where it’s not one thing but several things that have to add up. It would explain the broad spectrum, too.

  129. I’m a “Anybody but Doug Jones or Roy Moore” voter.

    I shamed Doug Jones into a congratulatory letter for Mini-me for the Stars and Stripes. I asked a second time for the letter and noted that Sen. Shelby had responded quickly.

    Also finally got a congratulatory card from the President and Melania Trump. They did say it might take up to 6 months because of the backlog.

  130. Declining enthusiasm, rising pessimism.


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