Thorsday Substitute Poat

Just to prove all y’all wrong, even Thor loves Thor puns

Lets try some out!









Have a great Thorsday!


  1. Jay has successfully mined every Thor pun/meme I could have used over the course of a year in a single post …

  2. TBH the “low key” / Loki angle has been off my radar.

  3. We’ve just started a new EMR program at work as of Monday. We’re “Wave 2” but we’ve been seeing the notes coming from other specialties that were included in the first wave. The appearance of the note is a little different but it’s not too different from the system we were using previously. The major differences are our need to do certain computer clicks before the patient leaves the office. That really messes with my usual flow of work and has been the biggest change. It’s going to force me to become one of those clinicians who spends more time fucking around with my face in the computer than facing my patient. They tell me this is progress.

  4. Local news (NBC Trump-hating affiliate) has been running a story about how hard it will be for employers to hire seasonal workers this year because everyone already has a job. Yes, full employment is presented as a problem in Trump’s America. Waiting for the inevitable critique of our immigration policies. “See, if only we let anyone who wanted to come across the border we wouldn’t have lines at The Walmart. Trump hates Walmart shoppers! You should vote for Bootygegg!”

  5. Enjoyed Pepe’s Schiff at the fudge factory video from last night. It successfully incorporated most of the double entendres in common use regarding fudge packer factory workers.

  6. My friend down in MA had a total hip on Tuesday this week. Had it done by a guy who trained with us a few years later. His surgeon was a college basketball player and is about 6 foot 8 inches. The OR table height is adjusted for the surgeon’s height. I pity his assistants who must be standing on a minimum of two steps. Anyway, after the case he went home about 6 hours later. This is the new trend and quite the reversal of things when I first began training and people stayed at least 5 days, sometimes longer.

  7. wakey wakey

  8. Figured I was safe if I stuck to the pun theme, jimbro.

  9. Jay, I got 4 out of 6 right on Tuesday and finished in 510th place.

    4/6 is often money.

  10. Bregman needs a shrink.

  11. I was close on most, except the score. If it was last night I would have been 4 of 6.

  12. On to tonight’s picks, which will be like me picking the Sweet 16 by choosing the team’s favorite color. MN and DC in NFL?


    But as their promises soared, their profits didn’t. It’s easy to spend all day riding unicorns whose most magical property is their ability to combine high valuations with persistently negative earnings—something I’ve pointed out before. If you wake up on a Casper mattress, work out with a Peloton before breakfast, Uber to your desk at a WeWork, order DoorDash for lunch, take a Lyft home, and get dinner through Postmates, you’ve interacted with seven companies that will collectively lose nearly $14 billion this year. If you use Lime scooters to bop around the city, download Wag to walk your dog, and sign up for Blue Apron to make a meal, that’s three more brands that have never recorded a dime in earnings, or have seen their valuations fall by more than 50 percent.

  14. Sometimes CEOs are a lot like whores, in that you pay them to leave.

  15. I have a good friend who named his oldest son Thor. Thor is now a chiropractor over in San Antonio and the name of his clinic is AuTHORity Chiropractic. Kinda punny I guess.

  16. I feel like Peloton might survive as a brand, but they’ll eventually be owned by Bowflex.

  17. VersaClimber must have a patent, because I’ve worked out on one and those things are amazing, but pricy as hell and I’ve never seen a knockoff.

  18. So, for anyone wondering:

    Carrying your phone into a SCIF is a minor infraction if you don’t use it while you’re in there. You self-report, you do some paperwork, it’s over. You only lose access if you make a habit of it or it’s obvious you were deliberately using it to transmit SCI. It also varies by SCIF. Some permit phones without cameras, some won’t even let you bring the key fob for your car.

  19. What the fuck is a SCIF?

  20. Secure Compartmentalized Information Facility.

    i.e. what the R House members “stormed” yesterday potentially with their phones in their pockets and what Hillary Clinton let her non-citizen maid access regularly.

  21. I’ve worked in two of them regularly, and been in about a dozen of the course of 20 years in the industry. They have levels of clearance needed to access (S, TS) and are often specific to a SAP (Secure Access Program), so you’d need both the clearance and the SAP access to enter a particular SCIF.

  22. Where impeachment proceedings are being held in secret, because transparency.

  23. Um, no. That’s precisely not what they’re for. Protecting sources, methods, and data. That’s it. If you work in one or are having a meeting in one, it’s because the content of the meeting, the whiteboard (which you WILL MOTHERFUCKING ERASE), or your desk could compromise the security of the United States of America if publicly known.

    Literally nothing short of that qualifies. Not proprietary, not For Official Use Only. Nada. Emphatically not “how do we snow the public into agreeing that Orange Man Bad”.

  24. This is why I want Hillary hanged by the neck until dead. She committed treason. I’d be in Solitary ’til the day I died if I’d done what she has done. Not “is alleged to have done”. Has done.

  25. I’d be in Solitary ’til the day I died if I’d done what she has done. Not “is alleged to have done”. Has done.

    Everyone who has worked in a SCIF has gotten the stories about Joe Snuffy who accidentally took a classified document out and failed to report it and goodbye career. But Hillary and her lackeys are able to routinely mishandle classified information without any legal repercussions. It’s disgusting.

  26. Gray Woman Bad

  27. I have a good friend, dear man, salt of the Earth. Absent-minded, though. Brought his phone into the SCIF by mistake and it rang while he was in there. 4 times. He ran to to the vestibule, turned it off and dropped it in a cubby right away, then self-reported each time.

    It rang, in his pocket, in the SCIF, while he was getting “the talk” about incident #4.

    No more access, but no charges, because he’d done the right thing each time.

  28. I used to joke about doing the “SCIF Macarana” when in uniform: pat your opposite arm pockets, hip pockets, back pockets, and leg pockets before you walk in.

  29. How can they use whiteboards? You can always tell what’s written on them, even if erased.

  30. Because they’re racist as fuck.

  31. We had to spray and wipe. Oftentimes you’d scribble, then spray, then wipe.

  32. We had to spray and wipe.


  33. Would Hillary have needed a security check to access those documents? Or did she get a pass because she was Secretary of State?

    I can’t imagine she would clear such a check.

  34. She would have been required to undergo a background check, and would have been briefed on how to handle classified information. One of the things that came up during this whole mess is that she skipped her required briefings on handling classified information.

  35. Winning an election means no background check, unfortunately (another reason Ilhan Nur Said is so dangerous), but you still get “read in” to a SAP. This is what’s classified, at what level, this is what you have to shred if you take notes on paper temporarily, this is what you may never discuss outside a SCIF, even if you’re “read out” later, etc.

    You’re not supposed to get into the SCIF at all until you’re read in, but Hillary is a special snowflake and rules don’t apply to her.

  36. I’m disappointed Jay had to go to pun extremes to get attention. VERY. DISAPPOINTED.

  37. Holy F*C*!! Is this real?

  38. Paul Ryan is in the Senate?

  39. No, he’s not, however, don’t think he’s totally out of the game. He’s too big of a prick not to ruin it for conservatives.

    And what stupid board is Ryan on?? Something crazy.

  40. He’s not even in the House!

  41. But I did ask if it’s real, because everything is fake nowadays.

  42. Tim Ryan just ended his Presidential run. In all seriousness did you guys know he was running? I have no idea who this is.

  43. Tom, isn’t the worry what happens if it gets to the senate? They have the numbers in the house if they so choose to vote. But it’s the senate that could be dicey. With so many spinless c***s.

  44. Who are the ten in the senate wanting to do this besides that weasel Romney?

    Though it would explain the absolute silence of the senate in allowing the demrats to run roughshod.

  45. KIPFEL!!


  46. Not that the senate can do anything about the House, but they could make a lot of noise like Pelosi and co. always does.

  47. Have all the wedding guest recovered from dessert poisoning?

  48. Oh look, the star witness in the impeachment hearings sat on the board for Ukrainian business, and has ties to Soros.

    Here’s my shocked face. Wonder what Juan Williams will have to say about this.

  49. The Dems’ shit stinks more than normal shit

  50. Beasn, those are loverly pictures of the bride and groom.

  51. Coalex, the kissy ones gross me out. Heh. But thank you.

  52. *slathers Jay in apricot spread, wraps him in dough…bakes him at BROIL until done*

  53. ❤️ the pics, Beasn. Lovely. Your updo was perfect.

  54. Bought Cuddle Duds and gloves this AM. HRC and Webb Hubble’s kid are in Minneapolis tonight. They wrote a book.

  55. I had an amazing burger at Muddy Cow. Dan had the walleye. I guess beer battered walleye is a thing here. Hamburger at MC is from within 300 miles. Considered local beef.

  56. walleye is delish. best fish ever

  57. why apricot? There should be tons of peach trees, and pecan trees.

  58. is the beef in the midwest better, oso? I say yes. East coast beef? blah.

  59. I’ll bet oso had the Hot Cow. it has chilis on it.

  60. Nah. I had the regular cheeseburger with blue cheese crumbles. Everything else had the “Seasoned” aioli. Hot Cow looked good. The beef was better than grass fed from AZ.

  61. forgot you weren’t a mayo gal.

  62. Dan had the walleye basket at the Twins game last year. I think he’s getting a pork entree at The Machine Shed.

  63. So…sorry to bring things down, but thoughts and prayers are appriciated, Nessie the Wonder Dog has crossed the rainbow bridge and is most likely catching frisbees for the entertainment of the heavenly hosts.

    Turns out all the problems she had for the last month were from Lymphoma, and though strong and fiesty until the end she was out of blood platelets and was bleeding internally.

    Fare thee well fine girl.

  64. Damn, Pups, sorry for your loss…..

  65. Sorry to hear that Pups

  66. So sorry to hear that, pups.

  67. :(((((( I’m so sorry Pupster. Gah. It’s horrible when you lose them, but the love you get for those years… it’s worth the pain.


  68. So sorry.

  69. So sorry, Pupster.

  70. how old was Nessie?

  71. Oh, man, I’m so sorry for your family, Pups.


  72. I’m so very sorry. Nessie will be missed.

  73. Oh Man…….prayers for you and yours. I’ll give my two a extra scritch or two tonight in Nessie’s name. May you meet again on the other side….

  74. fogo de chao, oso. Mmmm good.

  75. Comment by Pupster on October 24, 2019 5:51 pm


    That made me LOL.

  76. I don’t know anything about dogs other than I like them. My brother and sister in law have 2 dachshunds (actually 3 but that’s not germane to my story). One is long hair and one is short hair and they are blonde. Their names are Gus and Woody. And you’d think there were named after Lonesome Dove characters but they are named after my Dad, John AUGUSTUS, and the other I’m not sure.

    Anyhoo, they come from a breeder and they are described as lap cuddlers, or cuddle buddies can’t remember but they are so affectionate and so cute I can’t stand it. I’m psyched I get to spend Christmas giving them lots of cuddles.

    Also, CAULK.

  77. I met the Puppy who lives across the street. She’s a little tiny Australian sheepdog and her name is Finley or Finn for short. My husband and I were watching her today from the window whilst our neighbors were chatting and an air conditioning repairman was walking by. She kept to herself but kind of followed the air conditioning guy and kept an eye on him. I like her sense of people. It was also cute watching her go to the front door wait for her master (Matt) then come back out to him while he was talking she did this about 4 times. So cute.

    He’s a neat guy and is a private jet pilot. He only works about 7-8 days a month which is why he can have a doggie. He worked as a trainer for the FAA but has mostly done private pilot stuff for celebrities. He is currently flying for the York family who owns the 49ers. The sister is a DeBartolo or whatever.

    He was Justin Beiber’s private jet pilot for his tour.

    I said, “you must have seen it all!” And he said, “I have!”

    Also, CAULK!

  78. Oh Nessie!! Just awful. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, Pupster.

    And fuck cancer.

  79. I’m so sorry, Puppeh. RIP you sweet crazy Nessie girl.

  80. Sorry about Nessie, Pupster.

  81. Thanks everyone, she had a good run, she would have been 7 in December.

  82. Is Jimmy Carter still alive? I’m really craving those peanut butter cookies I have planned.

  83. Hillary is trying her best, but he’s still kicking.

  84. We need to hack his twatter account and declare that he has information that will lead to her arrest.

  85. He should announce that he’s running for the Dem nomination.

  86. So sorry to hear about Nessie!!!!

  87. He should announce that he’s running for the Dem nomination.

    He’s eligible, and more qualified than the rest of the field.

    If he were running against Mitt, I’d vote peanut.

  88. He didn’t rape anyone.

  89. I long for the quaint days of yore when such men merely lusted in their hearts.

  90. He didn’t blow any guys for coke.

  91. Pallets of cash to Iran? Check.

  92. Yeah, the antisemitism is sorta baked in, too.

  93. I’ll link to this again tomorrow, but it’s nice to know that I was fucking right in predicting that they’d push non-monogamy, and how they’d do it.

    People kept saying, “oh it’ll be muslim immigrants!” Nope, it’s clean-cut upper middle class bougie white folks, and Brooklyn hipsters. Safe people.

    Also, I wonder how long they’ve been holding onto this article, waiting for the right time to spring it.

  94. “Many people are trying to create families in different kinds of ways. And a lot of people see that as dangerous,” Diana Adams, a Brooklyn-based lawyer who represents polyamorous families, says in the CBSN Originals documentary, “Non-monogamy.”

    Because it fucking is. It’s destructive to families, to equality, and to society as a whole. People who push this are pushing the subjugation of women, the abuse of children, and the destruction of the family as social and support unit.

  95. Not to mention the social welfare system and our fucking tax dollars.

  96. Secular law has no defense left against further redefinition of marriage. They’ll either keep redefining it, or just make it equivalent to corporations.

    What comes next will almost certainly be a theocracy, or nearly so.

  97. Condolences, Pupster. That’s a fur covered angel you’ll meet in the hereafter.

  98. So sorry about Nessie, Pupster.


    From one of Mark Steyn’s cob links. A couple of days ago was when they get to the end of the Torah for the year, begin the new cycle of readings, and the Jews celebrate having the Torah by dancing with it. I really like the first song in the first video, and it’s fun watching happy people dance. Must be strict, though, to separate the men from the women. (what do transgender Jews do?)

  100. Sorry about Nessie, Pups…

  101. Pelosi says the late Rep. Elijah Cummings will “lie in repose on the same catapult that Abraham Lincoln lay in repose at his death.”

    There’s video where she actually says catapult instead of catafalque, but you really don’t want to listen to her, do you?

  102. I just checked on the population of Vermont. It’s less than the population of Fort Worth, TX. And yet they’ve managed to inflict Bernie on the rest of us.

  103. I love that Doxie link. J’ames, we may not even have time for our juicy Lucy. Tomorrow is Goldie hockey. The Vikings game was so much fun. Singing the fight song. The SKOL clap. Just a great environment. I was wearing a Chiefs hoodie. My 2nd layer. Only one usher gave me crap. In a polite way.

  104. The SKOL line is great…I love drum line. I lost the snap on my jeans. Popped off in the bathroom at the stadium. Cuddle Duds were worth it. They have fleece lined leggings here.

  105. This was quite possibly the whitest crowd I’ve ever attended a sporting event with that wasn’t A or AA ball. I was the POC on the bus to the stadium.

  106. Pups,

    Very sorry to hear about the loss of Nessie. It’s the worst part of owning a dog. I was concerned for you when you talked about the her symptoms. Our last one had very similar problems, and her blood numbers were not just low but off the bottom of the chart.

    Just FYI we ended up getting a golden retriever pup. She’s a little over 4 months now and can drink out of the toilet and pull things off the counter. Generally being a pain in the ass, but a very cute one.

  107. Danielle enjoyed retouching photographs.

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