Hillary is a meme

Just kidding, no Hillary memes, just getting you going.

This could be the H2 theme song.

AboutToPullTheseSteaks

This is what the read more button looks like, Car in:

BatBear

BenefitsOfServingGreenTea

HaveYouHeardOfMurphysLaw

HisNameIsFrancis

IJustSoldALawnmowerOnCraigslist

ItWorkedNoOnePeed

IveOnlyBeenVeganForAWeek

MyBossHatesIt

MyHousematesAreConvinced

TheClownIsGone

WhatGovernmentPromises

Smudge is at it again

ANewStartIsLovedKidsExchange

 

mare isn’t a fan of puns. Hmmm.

INamedMyHorseMayo

148 Comments

  1. Comment by Jay in Ames on October 21, 2019 11:25 pm
    There might be a pun in the poat tomorrow.

    Comment by lauraw on October 21, 2019 11:39 pm
    *dons brass knuckles* OK. See you then.

    Comment by Car in on October 21, 2019 11:48 pm
    guess I’ll just skip tomorrow.

    ————

    These are my people!

  2. Co-worker is taking his wife to Bar Harbor to see the leaves change…the first week of November. I have argued with him that he should go now or pick some place more southern if he wants leaf peeping, but by golly, he’s going to Maine in November.
    ——-
    Yeah, he’s going to be here for some early Christmas shopping and maybe 10% foliage left. I bet he saves a ton of money on room charges though.

  3. https://tinyurl.com/yxfb629q

  4. We live closer to the water (Penobscot River and Bay) which keeps it a little warmer and delays the color change by a week or two compared with our camp which is roughly 30-40 miles away and closer to the interior of Maine. This time of year whenever we have a wind/rain event like we did last week it knocks a shit ton of leaves off trees not to mention entire trees.

  5. Jay, great one hit wonder video with “Ah Leah”. Used to crank that song up when it came on the radio. I’m not sure the video adds much to the song other than making me wonder “where are they now” lol.

  6. Very windy here, too, upwards of 50mph. Gonna knock a lot of crops down.

  7. Donny has a couple others, but Ah Leah is probably his biggest. Always liked him.

    Seems that everyone is ambivalent to the classic rock genre. It’s only when I post country and hillbilly that I get a reaction.

    You know what that means, right?

  8. wakey wakey

  9. I sharted.

  10. j-e-t-s have gone from this

    https://tinyurl.com/y3lvz7ps

    to this

    https://tinyurl.com/yyojx8rm

  11. Split the difference, ANUSHART.

  12. Oh goody. Today is an “I hate Excel” day. Good to know…

  13. Or, alternatively, I hate Excel day is any day that ends in Y

  14. Excel puked on my homework.

  15. A new company moved in to the building next door. I think it’s a coven of dykes – BIRM.

    They’re all fat, have short hair – some green, red, etc., bring their dogs to work, and now they’ve erected a graveyard in front complete with plastic wrought iron fence, flashing plastic gravestones, and some fake spiderwebs. They have pumpkins up by the front door.

    I usually leave the office about seven thirty PM and they’re still here.

    Ima get some silver bullets, a crucifix, and some garlic.

  16. https://tinyurl.com/y6o55q3x

  17. The Halloween stuff is cool, but they’re probably dykes.

  18. Ima get some silver bullets, a crucifix, and some garlic.

    They aren’t vampires. Vampires are generally much better neighbors as they are trying to avoid attention.

  19. What works against witches? Holy water? Maybe that’s what the dykes are for.

  20. haha pups, chickens are vicious. That would be Elliot.

  21. What works against witches?

    The grimoires I have list a set of prayers, a talisman to be made by inscription on parchment, and some binding rituals involving 3 iron nails and a glass jar. I vaguely recall them being unable to cross a line of salt, too, but I can’t imagine that working out well for them in a Michigan winter.

  22. https://thefederalist.com/2019/10/21/a-drug-cartel-just-defeated-the-mexican-military-in-battle/

    We may have to launch an expedition into Mexico in the next few years at this rate, simply because at some point the government is going to collapse.

  23. which government…ours or theirs which is already probably run by the cartels?

  24. Round up to the nearest 100 how many of our pols are owned by cartels?

  25. I think Beaneses has been holding out on Colorado.

    https://tinyurl.com/yellow-dress-s-phone-number + Alex

    Some assembly required.

  26. HAHA, pups!!

    My daughter didn’t do the bouquet/garter throw. A few single ladies were present….one may have been a good match for CoAlex.

  27. This is for Mare.

    Nobody else look.

  28. That doesn’t sound very happy.

  29. For the suspected wishes in question, I recommend seeing how they react to a cross. Or to Crossift. Either should work.

  30. Crossfit dammit, I can’t type any more.

  31. Beasn, I just assume our gov’t is owned by some consortium of Latin American druglords, Chinese interests, and post-Soviet oligarchs, with a scattering of Western billionaire communists for flavoring.

    Prove me wrong.

  32. I’m concluding that too, Bro.

    And why we must buy more ammo, after we adopt several guinea pigs, which keep away the evil spirits.

    Not kidding.

  33. Comment by Car in on October 22, 2019 10:06 am
    The Halloween stuff is cool, but they’re probably dykes.

    —–

    Yes, you are my people.

  34. I poated a few pictures on facefart.
    Yes, I wore my Hostagette shirt to our hair appointment, for good luck.

  35. hahahhhhahaha, He’s such an asshole, Hotspur.

  36. 2 months ago, “security” at the customer site asked WTF we were going to do about this vulnerability they failed to inform us about in March.

    “Nothing, nobody told me so I wasn’t working on it.”

    Them: “Upgrade now!”

    “I’ve never tested with that version, might break it.”

    Them: “DO IT!”

    Tested with that version. It breaks our application.

    “It breaks our application. I’ll have to disable it (as in, the primary user of this other thing you want me to upgrade will have to be turned off entirely for the sake of the upgrade).”

    Them: “So when are you doing the upgrade?”

    “Oh, right away, I’ll just go ahead and get ‘er done, then.”

    The other hand of them: “We need to penetration test that version of the software, it hasn’t been tested before in our environment.”

    “… you want to test this software that you demanded I upgrade to?”

    TOHOT: “Yes. When can you get it deployed in the dev environment so we can do that?”

    “… you’re serious?” I ask of TOHOT, T, and the manager of both, who is not pleased.

    One month passes.

    TOHOT: “Yes, we’re serious.”

    “Okay, cool, I’ll get that done right away.”

    Install software in dev environment. Hand out admin privileges so testers can break it and claim victory. Get bullshit spreadsheet of “vulnerabilities” in software I didn’t write, didn’t ask for, and can’t “fix” even if I want to, but must fix or respond to in <5 days.

    Write LOLGF in every "response" cell as verbosely as possible because I'm dealing with ignorant, subliterate subhumans who only know how to hit the "go" button on the scanning software.

  37. I’m going to make way more than $20 writing LOLGF in tech jargon, and that’s the only reason I’m not giving them the terse version.

  38. ugh, leon. Sounds familiar.

  39. Canada is dead to me. Wait, it’s always been dead to me. A cold place with stupid people. Yea, yea, Vancouver is nice. So what. It’s full of dipshits. And they have parts that only speak French. Doesn’t that tell you they are assholes?

  40. So not only are they witches, their holiday displays are shit.

  41. And they have parts that only speak French.

    1) Not according to actual Frenchmen.
    2) Soon enough, these will be the only places where French is spoken.

  42. Jay, I was really proud of my “… you’re serious?” email.

    “Am I to understand that I’ve been mandated to upgrade software to a version that still has to go through testing, that we requested a maintenance window to comply with that mandate, and now we have to download and stage code and wait for scanning and tests? Do I have that right or do I go ahead with the planned maintenance as scheduled?” CC’d to T, TOHOT, and their mutual boss.

    I desperately wanted someone fired for this bullshit, even if it was me. Sadly, no one was.

  43. They literally sprung the pentest on me 18 hours before I was supposed to do the stupid upgrade and cripple my application.

  44. So when do we tell Leon that this is all some elaborate lab experiment with him as the test subject?

  45. Where are the dykes, hotspur? You should have taken a picture of the dykes.

  46. mare, what’s up with Canada…did those oh so tolerant and inclusive dicks re-elect the prancing Blackface?

  47. As I understand it, Blackface’s party has a much-reduced parliamentary representation and his PM-ship remains an open question.

  48. I don’t have any photos of the dykes. I took one a while back on a warm day when one of them was out walking her dog wearing cowboy boots and shorts (her, not the dog), but it came out blurry.

  49. Yes, Beasnsnsnsn, but Leon gives me hope.

    If Barack gives you a shout out, you’re an asshole.

  50. but it came out blurry.

    ——-

    We both know that’s probably for the best.

  51. So when do we tell Leon that this is all some elaborate lab experiment with him as the test subject?

    I can already tell them the experiment results if they want them:

    1) Cynicism and morale loss increase geometrically until April 1, 2020
    2) Notice given April 2, 2020

    The only potential interruption would be a massive re-org at the customer or prime, or me getting released without cause. I’ll hold on and be moderately pleasant (they’ll know something’s up if I start being sunny) until my retention bonus clears. The question is if I can get myself smart enough on R and python and data science to take the job at the credit union in time.

  52. but it came out blurry

    WITCH!!!!

  53. I have said here many times that MOST lesbians have been abused. I was 100% certain that Miley Cyrus had been abused in order to account for her ultra sexual behavior at a VERY young age. I think this supports my theory.

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  54. What’s this say about Billy Ray?

  55. The question is if I can get myself smart enough on R and python and data science to take the job at the credit union in time.

    Can you run shitty regressions and emphasize spurious correlations? You’re hired!

  56. FFS this guy is an insane attention whore.

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  57. Billy Ray can kiss my ass. His wife is whorish and his other two kids are equally or more nuts than Miley.

  58. So, Trudeau is back. Lovely.

  59. So when do we tell Leon that this is all some elaborate lab experiment with him as the test subject?

    Wait, Leon works for Vault-Tec?

  60. Vault-Tec had fewer internal fiefdoms vying for control, and actually accomplished both its stated and unstated goals.

  61. Time to go carve up a beef heart. Working from home is pretty much the only reason to put up with this insanity, may as well take advantage while I can.

  62. Someone poated a picture of a crocheted Donald Trump doll, done chibi-style, in one of my crochet groups. It’s triggering the shit out of some idiots and I had to spank a couple of them. F*cking idiots. One bitched, ‘please don’t make this group political’ in response to the picture and added ‘the real one is just awful’. Someone stuck up for the artist and I asked, ‘if this was a hillary doll, would you gush, scroll by, or say the same thing?’. She deleted her comment. I thought so.

    Another started with, ‘This country was never great…..’. I didn’t even have to bitchslap her over the Trump comment by the time I got done with that one. Intolerant little baby cunt.

  63. I did it in a nice way. I put on my teacher hat and picked up a ruler.

  64. Or you could have posted some Obama dolls from your morning constitutional.

  65. They mentioned that several times on the local Catholic station while I was driving to/from the credit union yesterday.

    I let out a Munztian “ha-ha!” every time.

  66. ” ‘This country was never great…”

    I’ll take “Words spoken by every good communist cocksucker in recent history” for $200 Alex.

  67. I love how they say “faithful catholics” implying that the Pope isn’t.

  68. I’ve become convinced that God is using Pope Frankie to expose how far the Lavender Mafia/Freemasonic* plot has really gone in corrupting the Church.

    *If you’re laughing at this and saying Masons are just guys with funny hats, it’s because their plot has succeeded almost entirely with regard to western civilization.

  69. I’m not laughing.

  70. *If you’re laughing at this and saying Masons are just guys with funny hats, it’s because their plot has succeeded almost entirely with regard to western civilization.

    What, exactly, is the plot?

  71. To degrade the Catholic church. Mission accomplished. We don’t even like our Pope anymore.

  72. https://www.catholic.com/encyclopedia/masonry

    Secular humanism has always been the goal. Masons were globalists before there was a word for it.

  73. The dream of a secular empire fails every time it’s tried. It failed in France. It failed in Russia. It’s failing here. It leaves death and ruin in its wake.

  74. We don’t like our pope because he’s one of ‘them’ doing his part of degradation.

  75. Secular humanism has always been the goal. Masons were globalists before there was a word for it.

    Good to know. *starts looking up the Knights of Columbus*

  76. I keep thinking I should join KofC, but I don’t care much about fish frys.

  77. It would probably help if I could force myself back to church. Seriously, I wonder sometimes if I need an exorcism instead of antidepressants.

  78. Go to Confession and ask. Say you feel demonically oppressed. At a minimum, the Sacrament itself can drive out demons.

  79. Comment by leoncaruthers on October 22, 2019 4:02 pm
    I keep thinking I should join KofC, but I don’t care much about fish frys.

    I really just want a Catholic HEMA study group, so I don’t have to listen to the constant left-wing politics from geeks.

  80. Globalists is an interesting term.

    What do Flat Earthers call them? Flatulists?

  81. If you don’t want to join KofC because of fish frys, join KFC.

  82. I really just want a Catholic HEMA study group, so I don’t have to listen to the constant left-wing politics from geeks.

    I think there’s a LOT of merit to something like this. No idea how you’d start one.

  83. I think there’s a LOT of merit to something like this. No idea how you’d start one.

    Take the credit union job?

  84. Well, then there’d be two of us.

  85. That’s how all good cults/secret societies start.

  86. After reading about the Canadian lawsuit (tribunal bullshit) regarding the fat guy who wanted his scrotum waxed, I’m 100% certain we need a serious, existentially threatening world war to yank the world back to some normalcy. It’s true that easy living makes soft men which in turn creates a situation that requires hard times for toughening purposes.

    What’s the saying?
    “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

  87. The question is how hard the times get before the strong men come.

    There are Gen Z guys in their teens deliberately eschewing porn, going for walks shirtless in the winter snow to toughen themselves against cold, and going to daily mass. It’s coming.

  88. That’s why I keep harping on GamerGate and the SJW infiltration of video games. These guys would still be eating cheetos and playing X-Com without that.

  89. I hope you are right, Leon. I do know many wonderful, young, family men. Many of those are in the military. Those are just the ones I know, there are many more. But when you read that a jury in TEXAS is allowing a woman to change the sex of her child against the father’s wishes, well, you start to think the whole world is shit.

  90. The question is how hard the times get before the strong men come.

    This is where social and cultural institutions were so important. They helped transmit the appropriate values to ensure survival.

  91. Our political class are a bunch of effers.

  92. @ CoAlex and Leon…is yer club open to non catholic subversive types? Asking for a friend…..

    @ Mare. You give me hope. The Tejas thing can be splained by jury shopping…..comprende?

  93. wait, at AOS, there’s a kid that is transitioning from boy to girl at age 7? And a court is allowing it, and forcing the father to follow the (Dr.) mother’s lead, and has to acknowledge the new sex?

    WTF?

  94. Do what you want after you’re an adult, but there has to be a limit. The 7 year old will never mature!

  95. @ CoAlex and Leon…is yer club open to non catholic subversive types? Asking for a friend…..

    You gotta keep your trap shut about the scapulars and Rosaries. That’s all.

  96. The 7yo won’t make it to 18, Jay. What this woman is doing is manslaughter.

  97. I realize that, how can a court NOT realize that? Someone better be speaking up for that kid. Mom needs to have Dr stripped from her name, don’t care what the PhD is in.

  98. She’s a medical doctor, a pediatrician.

    This is criminal.

  99. Normally, I disagree with vigilante justice.

    But if something really, really awful and irredeemable were to happen to “Mom” — preferably with Dad having no knowledge and a rock-solid alibi — I’d be remarkably sanguine.

  100. It absolutely is and the Daddy should consider her a imminent threat to the safety of the child and kill her under the “in defense of self or others” doctrine. Let the grandparents raise him while the courts figure it out, minus the dead crazy cunt.

  101. Or dad could just save the kid through some underground organization usually used by women/children escaping abusive relationships.

  102. Comment by TeeRoy Jenkins on October 22, 2019 5:41 pm
    It absolutely is and the Daddy should consider her a imminent threat to the safety of the child and kill her under the “in defense of self or others” doctrine. Let the grandparents raise him while the courts figure it out, minus the dead crazy cunt.

    —–

    I agree. If this was my kid, I would sacrifice my life for his. For sure.

  103. The wife is straight-up nuts.

  104. WooHoo! MN tomorrow. Going to both Basilicas. Machine Shed!!!!

  105. My bad. Minneapolis has the Basilica. St Paul has a Cathedral.

  106. Enjoy, Oso!!

  107. I’m pretty excited. Kind of irritating that I have to wear socks and shoes. Hoodies. Oh well, Hilo in January.

  108. Hilo in January.

    ——–

    Fun! I’ve been through there but never spent much time in Hilo. Mostly Kona side.

  109. Kind of irritating that I have to wear socks and shoes.

    Socks and shoes? It’s not December yet.

    *dons flippy floppies*

  110. Leon, IKR? One of our days is projected to have a high of 40, low 28. Hockey games get really cold, too. Mare, we usually stay in Kona and spend a lot of time driving to Hilo. Tex’s MALASADAS!

  111. Carter didn’t fall. Hillary pushed him.

  112. I will attempt not to roast Jimmy when he dies. I’ll say instead, “This was an American President and enough people respected him to vote for him for highest Office.” (Although I wasn’t one of them Reagan was my first ever vote) I will NOT go on and on about what an incompetent boob he was and what a bitter nasty person he could be when he wasn’t faking being an “Aw shucks” Christian.

    And Habitat for Humanity is not my favorite charity. That’s the nicest thing I’ll say.

  113. I’m making peanut-butter cookies when he goes.

  114. The war on testicles continues.

  115. I just spent two days putting steel up and setting a Candy layout. Candy is freakin heavy. I asked for a young guy to help me. Management with the “Nope”. I have bruises on bruises. My arms are noodles. Member asked for help loading 20 50# bags of sugar. He had a cart instead of a flatbed. I ignored the request.

  116. The millennial associates wouldn’t have been any help anyways.

  117. We have a Member that buys 45 cases of Nestle water each week. We’ve tried to get him to use Club Pickup. Bitch refuses. Today, Lift Team was getting laminate flooring for a Member. Water Bitch had to wait for 45 minutes. My favorite day was a Sunday when we didn’t have a driver until 1. Water Bitch came in at 10. 3 hours at Door 6. We also have a Nail Business guy that buys pallets of water and drives a van. We have to hand stack every case of water in his stupid van. He also refuses to use Club Pickup.

  118. We dropped MaryAnn off at Pet Paradise. We could see the “Swim Group” and the “Rambunctious Big Dog Group”. 2 people were in the lobby waiting for their dogs. Their dogs didn’t want to leave. Yellow lab and poodle. Kind of creepy that workers know our dog by name and give her kisses. I don’t kiss dogs. I don’t let dogs kiss me.

  119. I’m more of a hugger.

  120. Elliot loves him some French kisses.

  121. Wouldn’t a half ton of sugar crush a shopping cart?

  122. It was probably an amigo, so was used to holding more weight than that.

  123. I’ll never forget, a few years ago when I was working at Lowe’s: a 20-yr old guy and I were both assigned to stock a clearance display with boxes of 18″x18″ ceramic tiles. He fucking disappeared on me for the whole night. When I was near finished, dragging my broken ass behind me, he reappeared and by way of explanation said, “I can’t get hurt, I have baseball.”

    It’s a small world, people. Someday I’m going to meet that fucker again, and it’s gonna be when he needs me for something.

  124. Someday I’m going to meet that fucker again, and it’s gonna be when he needs me for something.

    He’s gonna end up in your psych ward.

  125. Leon, yes. That’s why we have a dead cart corral. Sugar guy has the salt equivalent in Hardlines. Water purification salt is 40#. Wood pellet season is here. Dealing with those people. Pallet of pellets is one ton. I can’t even pallet jack that much weight without a push. Hand loading a pallet of pellets is a pain. Like Lauraw observed, young kids disappear. The guy that was supposed to help me reset Candy is 25.

  126. CoAl, the Amigo people are getting bigger. Our GM thinks we have too many. Most Clubs have 3. We have 13. Any given day, they are all in use.

  127. We are pellet people.

    I load my own or have them drop a pallet in my truck.

  128. I’ll never forgive Carter for the Iranian hostages. NEVAH! Ronnie was the man. The Iranians knew he wasn’t fucking around. Im starting to think Trump needs to blow the shit outta something just to keep those pricks on their toes.

  129. I’m looking forward to those peanut butter cookies.

  130. CoAlex and Leon…is yer club open to non catholic subversive types? Asking for a friend…..

    For you we’ll make an exception.

  131. 2 for 2 on the Fox 6 thingy.

    If Springer hits a homer, I’ll probably win cash.

  132. Watched a speech by Kimberly Strassel. Smart lady!

  133. what is the fox 6 thing?

  134. Scott, YES!!! You are ideal. I truly H8 the hand stack people. Not all lift drivers are equal. I only spot for good drivers that load straight to vehicles/trailers.

  135. CoAl, the Amigo people are getting bigger.

    Them fat f*ckers piss me off. Tottering old people who need them more have to sit and wait on benches in the front of the store while fat f*cks fill their amigo with fatty kibble (chips, tater tots, diet soda).

    Speaking of which, Walmart marked down their jumbo boxes of Count Chocula, to $1.

  136. Oso Family theater: Dan “It is 7:30 and you are already packed?” Oso: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    Dan :
    OSO:
    FIN

  137. Jay, google fox sports super 6.

    It is free gambling. You can’t lose but you can win $250.000 on Sunday. Top prize tonight is $25.000.

  138. You would be good at the Saturday game.

  139. Beasn, we have Members that have artificial limbs or are stroke victims…shopping carts. One guy with two fake legs (HIGH TECH not H2 reg fake challenged me to a shopping race. He lost. He rightly believes I’m the only associate with enough product knowledge to beat him)

  140. cool, thanks!

  141. I love that bat and his bear up yonder.

  142. I feel the itchy skratchie of a cold coming on. That explains the munchies.

  143. So earlier this evening, another waffle of twat who hates this country popped up and wanted to know if I was going to pay for her to move, since she’s broke.
    WTF are you asking for me to pay your way? Do what the border jumpers do to come here en masse because we’re such a horrible place….pick a country, jump a border and see what happens to you if you’re too lazy to develop a skill, get a job and earn your way to do it the proper way. Ungrateful, entitled, ignorant children.

    The admins shut it down and one of them pinned a note saying to keep the nasty comments to yourself and scroll by if you don’t like the project posted. Exactly what I said before I addressed the cunt who insulted my country and called her people idiots.

  144. District eight’s residents protested.


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