Hallowmeme

Back by popular demand

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A little 2016-ish but still relevant

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Brexit

meme halloween costumes Awesome Funny Halloween Memes of 2017 on SIZZLE

Must not forget the THOT‘s!

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Zero chance of these costumes showing up at my door

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Don’t forget the Jack O’ Lantern!

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“Is this your pussy?”   (—-can’t breathe—-)

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Happy Thotday!

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*** — BONUS FESTIVE WIENER CONTENT — ***

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Halloweiner

 

 

 

 

164 Comments

  1. Does your pussy bite?

  2. Lol’d at the sexy siege engine. It’s pumpkin chunkin’ time, and I am making lunch for the team on Saturday.

  3. Elijah Cummings is meeting with Ted Kennedy today.

  4. Nor’easter this morning. Thankfully it’s an all rain event. Super windy out there and I’ve lost internet a couple of times and had the lights flicker. Hopefully it stays on or I’m on cellular data with my phone. I might be forced to read something printed on paper.

  5. Buddy of mine who lives cross town texted me that earlier when he was asking about my power situation.

    All Trump’s fault I’m sure

  6. Sugar Tits. Breakfast of Champions.

  7. I’m Sexy Donald Trump!

    *cough*

  8. Guhmerm.

  9. Obama supporting Trudeau is perfect. Two, weak, pathetic, closeted do-nothings.

  10. *Pours Laura’s coffee through a beer bong*

  11. Rained like the dickens last night. The wind appears to have died down. Just kind of still and damp and gloomy right now.

    Glad I got the rest of my garlic planted before it rained. Also harvested a couple more escarole and a sugarloaf chicory for the soup pot.

  12. wakey wakey

  13. Congressman Cummings passed away at Johns Hopkins hospital due to complications concerning longstanding health challenges.

    well, that’s vague.

  14. Sounds like AIDS.

  15. Right? I mean, you don’t have to give details, but … “heart condition” or something isn’t really intrusive.

    It makes it sound as if it were somewhat behavior based condition.

  16. Alcoholism? ya know?

  17. Liver failure.

  18. Keeps saying it’s 30 degrees in Ames, but my thermometer reads 39 each day.

    Wonder if they put the monitor in the fridge?

  19. Johns Hopkins is a leader in transgender surgery, isn’t it?

  20. Stage 4 syphilis.

  21. Is this your pussy?

  22. Elijah picked a helluva way to avoid paying his taxes. Gotta give him credit for his resoluteness.

  23. Welp, the libs on facebook don’t like Buttplug cuz he’s not all in on single payer.

    Glad the mask has fallen.

  24. It’s Bootyjudge.

  25. Welp, the libs on facebook don’t like Buttplug cuz he’s not all in on single payer.

    The modern “moderate” democrat is herein defined.

  26. yep leon. Obamacare was just another increment.

  27. More like excrement

  28. Hey mare, they did our favorite meme in real time!

  29. The bad thing is, Hotspur’s not far from the proper pronunciation IIRC.

  30. If you fly through South Bend Regional Airport, Mare Peet has a welcome announcement they play over the PA system.

    “Booty jedge”.

  31. BAHAHA, that cat cracks me up.

  32. JAY!! I saw that this morning and almost spit out my coffee!

    HUZZAH!!!

  33. Although I’ve always loved it, that meme will now and forever mean something special and stay in my heart always.

  34. This is what is great about the internet, you find people who are really funny with the ability to translate that humor to those who get it.

    Memes, who knew?

    Can you believe some countries want to ban them? I’d effing take to the streets.

  35. Where will the rats move to now?

  36. My favorite version of that, which I can’t find right now:

    Woman: My rabid feminist friend-of-a-friend
    Cat: Me explaining that women are responsible for 100% of space crime

  37. HA!

  38. Trey Gowdy, on twitter, gave Elijah Cummings such a send-off you would think he was the second coming of Jesus Christ. I completely understand saying something complimentary about a dead colleague but FFS, Cummings was a crook, a POS and a rambling fool (certainly at congressional hearings).

  39. Today is a total downtime sort of day. I’m cooking up experiments and eating them, plus absolute crap from the frozen foods aisle.

    -homemade bread
    -jerk chicken
    -sauteed escarole and kielbasa
    -a salmon/chard/potato thing I made in phyllo dough pocket and froze a while back, to test out the theory
    -broccoli
    -homemade cheese crackers

    here comes the crap:
    -potato chips and helluva good sour cream onion dip
    -jalapeno poppers

    I was really bitchy this morning until I gave myself permission to just let today be a waste of energy.

  40. Random thought:

    I’m of at least 50% German descent. If I start farming sheep…

    …am I a German Sheppard?

  41. Complications of long term health issues.

    Translation: at his mistress’s house

  42. How do we care about some cumguzzler from a back alley district in a shithole like Baltimore who died of some disease as a result of choosing to abuse his body (alcohol, drugs, unprotected buttfucking)?

    Good riddance. God takes the trash out.

  43. Shepherd

  44. Put some ruffles on his collar, a great big feathered hat, and tights, and Cummings would be right at home in pre-revolution French Aristocracy.

  45. Cummings was pretty thick. And gooey.

  46. Just one more race hustler enriching himself off people too stupid to see reality.

  47. Everything I know about him publicly makes me pretty sure he’s burning in Hell about now.

    I pray he saw the end coming, found contrition, and repented before that came. I don’t think that’s likely, but it’s long odds for anyone.

  48. Racism is a public health crisis now, so he could have died from that.

  49. He definitely had a bad case or racism. Scott might be right.

  50. “One of the most beautiful, powerful and compelling voices in American politics” . WTFF?

  51. I erased the link because it didn’t go to his first tweet on the Cummings thread. But, hoo boy.

  52. That has to be sarcasm.

  53. goes right along with “Lion of the Senate”.

    The names for Republicans are much less dignified. What do they call Strom Thurmond?

  54. Leon, Scott, you should go to twitter and search Trey Gowdy and behold his eulogy for Saint Elijah.

  55. Seriously, I thought it was a joke too, Leon. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.

    AGAIN, yes, I understand you don’t ever want to say anything negative about a dead colleague, AND I know you would obviously focus on any positives you can think of, however, this is a bit much and a bit crazy. This perfect Christian with great faith was a tax cheat and a cheat on other things too.

  56. If it’s not a joke, it’s virtue-signalling. Not necessarily the worst kind, considering we’ve been at the low-level-skirmish-before-cities-start-burning level of civil war for a while now and a little comity might not be so bad. The contrast to lefties on twatter when an R dies might actually cause some reflection in readers.

    Stop laughing!

  57. I dodged a bullet, a friend of my husband is in town with his wife. They want to meet with another local couple. The wife of the out of town friend has a mouth like a longshoreman. And she’s loud with it. I’ve been out with them before and was cringing and looking around the whole time.

    She has had breast cancer and has beaten it and I’m not sure if that turned some filter off or she was always that way. Her husband is a humourous low-key guy. I like him.

    Anyhoo, my husband reminded me the dinner was tonight and I just said: “nope, can’t do it again, will this bother you?” He didn’t care and thinks she’s kind of gross too.

    I think she is just bombastic. She told a story of her son (after saying he was so good looking) being on a flight and the attendant said, “You’re the best looking guy I’ve ever seen you should be a model!” Well, I had to look this kid up after dinner to see this stud and NOPE, ah, no. Maybe the flight attendant was horney or something but, no.

  58. Well, Leon, maybe I should give Trey Gowdy credit for playing 7-dimensional chess with the press and race-baiters.

    (LOL)

  59. Maybe the flight attendant was from Baltimore.

  60. Megan Kelly finished her cumguzzing tour.

  61. guess who!

    REDACTED deeply saddened by the passing of Elijah Cummings, a man whose dignity and patriotism made Congress and our Nation a better place. I was lucky enough to spend considerable time with Elijah outside of Washington; in the first year I was in the Senate, we both traveled together, along with much of the CBC, to Johannesburg for the funeral ceremony of Nelson Mandela. Traveling together to that historic remembrance was a profound privilege. On that trip, I spent hours laughing with Elijah and hearing incredible stories from him and John Lewis about the heroes of the civil rights movement. Elijah was a statesman with a booming voice and an even bigger heart. His warmth, compassion, and courage will be sorely missed. REDACTED send condolences to Maya and his family, friends, and fellow members of Congress as they grieve this loss. May he rest in peace.

  62. How many drunken girls did Elijah Cummings kill in drunken bridge accidents?

    Round to the nearest bottle of Kennedy brand scotch.

  63. So many sleazy politicians, so little time to bury all the dead prostitutes.

    But, HEY, at least we the taxpayers are paying off the harrassed pages in congress for these politicians!

  64. “guess who”

    The first buttplug.

  65. Ted Cruz

  66. Ted Cruz

    ——

    HO-LEE-SHIT

  67. Everyone in politics is an effing whore.

  68. guess who?

    Was there a selfie alongside the words?

  69. WTF is wrong with these shitheels? If you don’t have anything nice to say, just keep your trap shut. Surely Cruz doesn’t believe his own bullshit? Or Gowdy or Trump.
    And it’s not like Cumming’s constituents are even paying attention to the ass kissing, so it can’t be they’re bobbing for votes.

  70. I don’t understand the middle east, (who the eff does) but am I missing something? Why are R’s shitting their pants about Trump taking our troops out? Are we really solving any problems in Syria with them anyway?

    Someone told me the Kurds are good fighters but aren’t they communists? Don’t really know. More importantly, don’t really care.

  71. If Pelosi kicked the bucket, I wonder if they’d be slobbering all over her hag carcass.

  72. I DO know that politicians go at each other and then are all cutesy with each other afterwards which pisses me off because the stuff these assholes argue about actually affects me. This issues cost me money and freedom so I don’t think it’s cute when they all get along like chums and cash their effing checks.

  73. A simple ‘thoughts and prayers, if they do that sort of thing, to his family’ should suffice. Or nothing. Not lies heaped upon unbelievable lies.

  74. If Pelosi kicked the bucket, I wonder if they’d be slobbering all over her hag carcass.

    ——–

    You can bet your ass they would. But if one of ours goes, well, tough nuts.

  75. Mare, the globalists have spent the better part of thirty years talking about how wonderful the Kurds are because they were mythical moderate muslims who were US allies. Despite the fact that they were also constantly fighting each other and everyone else, and many were determined to carve their own nation out of the territory of Iraq, Iran, Turkey, and Syria.

    The belief that we can have a globalist foreign policy on the cheap through SF and weapons shipments to various rebel groups has caused more long-term headaches than anything else, IMHO.

  76. I care more about Uighers than Kurds.

  77. I agree with you, Alex.

    We’re not fixing anything and may have made matters worse.

    We effing know Obama did. Arab Spring indeed! Dumbass.

  78. I liked the fact the Kurdish women would kick some ass against muslims so they wouldn’t be forced to Sharia but I’m not willing to send a loved one over to fight for them when it would still be a shambles later.

  79. I do think a permanent base in Iraq is a good idea but staying in Afghanistan is a historically dumb idea.

    Trump tried to get us out but the bastards fought it.

    And trying to introduce a democracy (like ours which works because of Judeo-Christian values) is a complete joke with 3rd world, 12-century peoples.

  80. How was Cummings a civil rights icon? He was 15 when the Civil Rights act passed, and 16 when the Voting Rights act passed.

    It’s all made up bullshit.

  81. Of course, Hotspur. Hence my “all politicians are whores” comment.

    He was a race-baiting POS. Period.

  82. But you make a good point and use facts, thank you, Hotspur.

  83. All these accolades for the dead racist kinda makes one wonder how deep the Deep State really is…….ALL Professional Politicians SUCK.

  84. I still think that the Iraq War was the right decision, if only because the alternative options were worse. Afghanistan is understandable, because once we’d helped overthrow the Taliban there is a strong incentive to not allow it to backslide. But we’re not obligated to send troops to every country with problems, nor to stay there forever. Two brigades in Iraq would likely have been enough to keep training the Iraqi Army, provide stiffening when they need it, and serve as a neutral arbiter of disputes until the institutions had solidified.

  85. Just because I had it loaded to post funneh on Facecrack, and it’s a great version: Hotel California: Gypsy Kings en Espanol

  86. Bush got the votes to go to Iraq. Enough said.

  87. But he lied.

  88. I think the flaw in Iraq was disbanding their military. That left a vacuum that our troops couldn’t fill and a lot of military aged males without a paycheck. Keeping the structure and modifying it over a few years would have prevented a lot of the crap that happened. That last sentence probably needs a “might have”.

  89. I disagree. The Iraqi military was basically destroyed by the war. The only ones left were the one who fled, not exactly quality material to start out with, and they were largely shia conscripts with a sunni officer corps. Keeping that in place would only have caused problems.

  90. Why did Hillary kill Elijah Cummings?

  91. Comment by mare on October 17, 2019 12:48 pm
    I don’t understand the middle east, (who the eff does) but am I missing something? Why are R’s shitting their pants about Trump taking our troops out?
    =====

    Because people are making money off of the never ending wars. Politicians have a monetary interest in the continuation….

  92. Mare, we need to start our own blog. Let’s call it Mare and MJs real world advice for losers and the barely breathing.

    Most of our advice will center on punching someone in the girl dick or getting back to a healthy weight through diet, exercise, and meth.

    But mostly meth.

    Sound like a good idea? Punch one girl dick for yes, two girls dicks for no.

  93. [..] One girl dick

    [X] Two girl dicks

  94. Imagine for a moment that you’re the guy who invented meth. Like, originally. Probably chemically clean, because you weren’t making it from draino and sudafed, so no meth mouth. Just endless go-juice followed by… addiction to endless go-juice. You try giving it to your girl and suddenly she’s got fiery loins and is cleaning the kitchen like a boss.

    You’d probably think you’d discovered the Holy Grail.

  95. I did discover the Holy Grail.

  96. Who discovered meth?

  97. Japs. Of course.

    It makes so much sense now.

  98. Wait for it……

  99. Heh, the answer is yes, MJ.

  100. George Bush can go eff himself. The dead one too. Total, globalist, lying sacks of shit.

    Now, he did have the votes to go into Iraq. Can’t argue that and won’t. I spent a crapload of time explaining how easy it was after 16 months to position poison gas weapons into Syria from Iraq. However, after getting a little taste of George W after he was out of office, my asshole meter is/was pegging 11 out of 10. Bush kept his mouth shut during the 8 year Obama debacle yet opens his Ellen hole to yap about Trump. Eff you, you globalist piece of shit. In other words, I no longer trust him and haven’t for a long time. Barbara Bush is (was…is she dead?) a pro-abortion fat ass too.

  101. Oh, this is what started my rant:

    “George W Bush takes a direct shot at Trump: “An isolationist United States is destabilizing around the world. We are becoming isolationist and that’s dangerous for the sake of peace.”

    Yeah, you complete dumbass, our going to war TOTALLY kept us at peace.

    WTFF.

    I know kids who died you lying sack.

  102. A peace that can’t last without US blood and treasure is no peace at all.

  103. Also, if we are at war for 17 years, how is he calling this peace?

  104. The new Goliath series is a cockup.

  105. Who discovered meth?

    The Germans.

  106. Synthetic chemistry is a German specialty.

  107. Yes, Kristol is a little bitch:

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  108. WTF is Trump putting flags at half staff for that racist, liar, asshole cummings?

  109. Because it will drive the left nuts. They want him to do something vindictive. By being magnanimous, he tweaks their noses.

  110. Plus, every little thing that splits the Black vote is a Good Thingtm.

  111. Just wait until he proposes a flyover for Cumming’s funeral

  112. in the Kristol Twitter thread:

    Yes, conservatives are prone to uncritical allegiance to their leaders, however corrupt and incompetent they may be.

    It’s a toxic tendency.

    *****
    ba haaa haaa haaa haaaaaa

    People are so fucking stupid.

  113. Gotta feel virtuous using green energy…

    https://tinyurl.com/y2ds8kge

  114. Carin, odd that they forget that Obama was an effing “light bringer” to them.

    He had his own halo.

    He had his own Mao style songs.

    WTFF??

  115. Kristol’s rice bowl must be running low.

  116. It’s just funny that they’re posting that in a KRISTOL thread. Who was … uh … CONSERVATIVE. Was. Neocon or whatever, but he certainly wasn’t liberal or even libertarian.

    Yea … we all march in complete locksteop.

  117. 11D chess grandmaster.

  118. Lindsey looks like he’s been drinking hard.

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

    And he needs to keep his trap shut concerning Trump if he wants any of the conservative support he’s been enjoying because he’s been supporting him generally.

  119. There are Christians in Africa being slaughtered. Did Lindsey mention them also?

    Just curious.

  120. HAHAHAHAHAH

    The babylonbee:

    In response to questions about raising taxes, Elizabeth Warren comes out as a gay man.

  121. Slick

    https://tinyurl.com/y4mo9gce

  122. I don’t know who that guy is Scott, but I love him.

  123. Mare! https://tinyurl.com/y5ohw9yd

  124. That kid went viral in 2016 but I missed it somehow. Sylvester Stallone loved it, said he might have to fight the kid Rocky 10.

  125. Scott that kid was awesome! And he’s watched that many times he was anticipating the moves. That kid is going places. Hopefully potty training next.

  126. Alex, on twitter, they show some large group from that town, Canning Town, watching the news of them pulling that protestor off the train and the WHOLE crowd erupted into cheers.

  127. He was known as Baby Balboa.

  128. That twat Romney on the floor acting like a little bitch.

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  129. BWHAHAHAHA…Hubris

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  130. Number of Romney kids in uniform to fight the wars daddy advocates….

    Guess.

    I hate this line of argument. Romney’s kids are their own men and women, and make their own choices about their life, regardless of dad’s political views.

    This whole notion of “you gave up your child to serve the US” removes all agency from the actual soldier, which is insulting.

  131. Ridiculous, Alex. His kids are front and center on all his campaigns. If they were minding their own business I wouldn’t care. But they actively push their Dad and subsequently his policies. Put up or shut up. Why do you think so many Generals, ex vets get elected? They had skin in the game…period.

    And we haven’t even touched Romney’s monetary interests around the world.

  132. Which his kids benefit from. Romey needs to STFU about China too.

  133. Here is how duplicitous Romney is about the Kurds and war:

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  134. hahahahahahaha…Romney is a certified POS.

  135. It is a valid point to note that the people who advocate these forever wars risk nothing for it. They aren’t bleeding. They aren’t burying family members. They aren’t having careers put on hold or ended. Hell, half of them benefit from it, politically or monetarily.

    I supported this shit fifteen years ago. If I make it to Heaven and see anyone who gave their lives for any of this, the very first thing I will do is beg their forgiveness.

  136. WTF?? I just returned to the site and over in right column on top of the comments was BC. I clicked the comment, the screen did a flash like reset and the BC comment was gone. Any of you guru’s got a idea what happened? I know what I saw and clicked……what the fuckity fuck over??

  137. Agree, Brother.

    If Dan Crenshaw wants to go the House floor and condemn Trump, well, I’d have a hard time not taking him seriously and in fact, I don’t think he was entirely in favor of the pull out (SYWM).

    But Romney did this entirely for political reasons and it smells. You love war Romney, you want to save the Kurds? Send all your sons to Syria. Do it Mormon style, go door to door. Create that love in Syria we so desperately need.

  138. If this is anywhere near to being true, Romney should commit seppuku on the House floor. It’s the only honorable thing to do. Oh, and that pussy, Romney needs to nominate Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  139. I don’t mind him not having blood in-theater. It might help if he did something for the veterans and their families in return for what’s asked of them. And I don’t mean “make someone else pay taxes for GI Bill 2.0”, I mean something he does himself, out of his own damn pocket.

    If he ain’t going to bleed, he should at least put his damn money where his mouth is. Hell, all of these wealthy SOBs profiting from war after war should. They don’t. That speaks volumes.

  140. I think I have the same mom as Car in.

    Russia gave Trump the election
    Trump gave Syria to Russia.

    Quid pro quo

  141. So … does that mean scott is my brother?

    Cool.

  142. The meme in real life is awesome.

  143. How can Trump be both cozy with the Ukraine and Russia…puppets of both if they are enemies?

  144. Hush you, with that logic silliness.

  145. Logic has been replaced with free shit.

  146. Troy Aikman looks a lot older than 52.

  147. I saw John Elway in an ad and thought wow, he looks old. (59, looked 75)

  148. I’m with Alex. It’s a volunteer army, and not everyone serves. Can’t hold it over their head.

    We can bitch about how they treat the men that are there, but not the ones that aren’t.

  149. Heh, the train is classic. Wish I could be there.

    Kinda like Code Pink at a Trump Rally.

  150. uh oh, Mahomes is down.

  151. Early tomorrow will be the first all-woman spacewalk. I’m annoyed at how big a deal they are making of this.

  152. I’m leavin’ the jokes on that to the rest of ya.

  153. This looks like every house in New Mexico

    https://tinyurl.com/y2c4s8hu

  154. Is it a fit?

    No!!

    Nail it anyway.

  155. To be honest, Pepe, I thought I was gonna open that link and see a stucco home that had been painted purple with turquoise trim.

  156. I expected more trailer, less adobe

  157. Got my haircut. No bangs. No Pete Rose. I look like every kid on an 80s sitcom. Brian Bonsall.

  158. Oof. It got taken down, but it was a tweet from “Elijah Cummings” of “Sure is hot down here” with a reply from John McCain of “It’s a dry heat.”

  159. I was wrong, it’s still up.

    https://tinyurl.com/yyogd339

  160. Distrust enveloped Rita’s party.


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