MMM 380

First day of preschool.  Pray for Oso.

If she wrecks, that’s a whole lotta road rash.


Interesting suit.


Poor girl can’t afford new jeans.


Those look like 25s.


Pretty eyes,


The shaved line in her hair is weird.


Monday is upon us.  Plan accordionly.


  1. Wakey wakey.

    New tool on friday. JUst in case anyone needs to get their pre-order in.

  2. The shaved line is a scar from her brain transplant

  3. Sounds legit.

  4. Fourth

  5. What tool are you getting? A hammer? A bag of them? Yellow ones?

  6. It’s going to be big and purple.

  7. DErp-bot 9000SX is gonna kick yor ass, Leon Caruthers.

    1) That second kid needs a sandwich and possibly a whole turkey, with sides.

    2) I think that’s a corn row braid, not a shaved line. All the hair is pulled to the braid, leaving a line of scalp? Dunno, not easy to see but that’s what it looks like to me. If your hair is not very thick that’s what you get with cornrows.

  8. My poor, sheltered wife had never heard the “bag of hammers” expression until last week.

    *continues working on EMP grenades for robotic countermeasures*

  9. We’re going to Portland ME some time this week, for a client. We don’t know when. I’ve never been to Portland, I don’t think. Gonna tripadvisor the Hell out of it and see where is a good place for some seafood. Maybe bring a cooler and buy some lobstahs and seaweed down the powaht.

  10. 1) Too rough-looking.
    2) Needs a sammich.
    3) Approved. Would smash.
    4) Probably a Chinese spy
    5 and 6) Approved. Would smash.


  12. Next to last has a mischievous look. Trouble, that one.

  13. If she gave me that look over her shoulder, I’d probably follow her straight into a minefield.

  14. 1. At least use some knee pads
    2. tucker
    3. When your jeans get that fucked up cut them up and use them to polish the car.
    4. Not into asian
    5. nice
    6. You aren’t black. You’re never going to be black. Your boyfriend is fucking your sista.

  15. She’s Colombian. Things are different there.

  16. Yeah, they’re all crazy.

  17. Maybe she’s dating Juan Valdez.

  18. Being a coffee magnate has its perks.

  19. mmmm columbian coffee. It’s got cocaine, makes it good.

  20. If any of you are using wireless chargers for your phone, and you start having battery issues (short life, etc.), plug the phone in directly to USB and charge it fully. I did this, and it really straightened out the battery. I was using all power in 4 hours, and it said it was 100% charged.

  21. The town that has birthed only girls in the past ten years, has 300 people. Soo, how many people are of childbearing age and how many baby girls have been born? Ten? How many are siblings?

  22. I hear Portland Maine is being overrun with Congolese.

  23. My grandparents had 7 kids, 3 were boys, only one of those men had a son. Of the great-grandkids, of which there are something like 30, only a handful are boys, and none bear the name.

  24. The reason that we don’t own property is that it’s fucking expensive, ….. Add in the fact that you’re almost guaranteed to have to move once or twice while changing jobs,

    Not to be snarky, but that’s life. After college, husband interviewed in TX…moved to the east coast once hired for intense training (six months)…moved to Detroit, got married. We moved three times in less than 4 years before we could afford a down payment on a small bungalow in Clawson, MI. (husband has been back to the area over the years and not much has changed) The same kind of bungalows in a town or two over in Birmingham were going for nearly double.

  25. My boomer dad was able to get a job at 25 that he kept for 35 years. That’s impossible now outside of a scant few industries.

  26. My grandmother had 8 kids. Six were girls.
    My mom had 6 kids….50/50.
    I had two…50/50.
    …my sister, one boy
    …my brother, one girl.

    Husband’s family…his dad came from a family of 5 boys, 1 girl. His mom’s family had two girls, one boy. His mom had two boys…her brother had two girls/one boy.

    Thinking of all our friends/neighbors/hostages with kids, some only boys, some only girls, others mixed, it all balances out.

    Duggars are at what…50/50?
    I follow a few youtubers who have ten children each.
    One has 50/50…one has 70/30 in favor of boys…one is 60/40 in favor of girls.

  27. It would seem to me that jobs for life, with the watch upon retirement, sort of went away decades ago. Like … in the 80’s. That was when you first started seeing people being forced out or having to find new jobs when they were beyond their prime.

  28. We went to the rental yesterday to finish the pantry shelves, and fucked it up. Srsly, I think we have gone pure ‘tard. We’re either going to have to rip it out and start over or go the least pain route.

    To make it worse, a few days ago, I noticed daughter paid $500 for family planning classes at the hospital which is all part of the premarriage stuff thru the church. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Wtf?

    So yesterday before leaving her place, I brought it up to daughter – very nicely, non-confrontational – ‘hey, is there any way you can back out of the program (they haven’t started it yet) and save the $500? You can find these methods on the internet or buy the book for much cheaper, and I might still have the Billings Method book, you can have for free.’

    She about bit my head off. Not taking the bait, I ask why the heck is she getting so mad? She says, ‘Because you are always telling me what to do.’ Dear Girl, in all the words I spoke 30 seconds ago, please identify the ones telling you to do anything as opposed to making a suggestion that would save you money. She couldn’t so she said, with attitude, she’s not going to dump the program. It’s her money – note that the boyfriend paid ‘0’ dollars (I did not bring this observation up to her).

    She’s stressed with work, she’s stressed her boyfriend can’t remember his ring size so she can order his band, she’s mostly mad at her dad for buying this rental and ‘forcing’ her to live there, she’s mad at her dad for ‘forcing’ her to have a wedding —— and she takes it all out on me.

    I have backed off a long time ago and told her noone is making her stay in a nice 3 bedroom, new kitchen/bath, house to the tune of $700/month and noone is preventing her from eloping tomorrow. But, if you do so, please show up at the church, in October since you already booked it and make your grandmother, your aunt/uncle, and us, happy. You are also invited to a nice lunch, in your honor, at ‘XXXXXX’s’ afterwards,

    That makes her even madder.

    *throws down $20*

  29. She’s stressing and taking it all out on you. Hannah does that to me too.

  30. But her H2 aunts and uncles really could have given her all the education she needs. I’m pretty sure we have it all pretty well covered.

  31. Not once does she ‘tude her dad or go off on him.

  32. Yep. Exactly the same happens here.

  33. Mare recommended the Orphan X series, and I’m really enjoying the first book. THANK YOU MARE WHERE EVER YOU ARE.

  34. They teach the third world the Billings Method via a short series of cartoon pictures. And my daughter gets pissed I point it out. She’s throwing away $500 after bitching at us for throwing away $$ on a wedding lunch reception.

  35. After I mentioned her love for saving/not wasting $$, which this program sounds like, she says only for things worth spending it on.

    Talk about a slap in the face.

  36. I bet if any one of you guys or her aunts/cousin or her Godmother suggested the same, she would have listened to them.

    Okay, I’m done. Brats don’t deserve spiking my blood pressure. Imma take full advantage of the open bar come October and giggle like a loon when handing her over.

  37. Car in, in a way, I’m glad I’m not the only one.
    She was fine up through high school. Never had an issue with her until college. Seems like a delayed adolescent rebelling.

  38. There’s the beasn we all know! I know it sucks.

    Are you a lot alike? My brother and dad were like that. They are almost the same person.

  39. Before finals – every semester – I get a call from Hannah that includes 1) how much she hates her life 2) she’s failing X amount of classes 3) mentions all the pampered kids who don’t have to work while in school and walk around campus in designer clothes while she looks like a begger 4) some new random curveball bullshit.

    I just view it as some sort of cathartic flushing, and that apparently I’m the only one that can endure the abuse.

    She never fails – she usually sets the curve. The rest of the stuff is just crap too.

  40. That sounds like when my daughter was going through college. The only time she’d call me was to 1 – 4 your list. Same now. Never to call and say, ‘hey mom, how are you?’ I began to half dread her calls.

  41. Jay, there are a lot of similarities but she’s got the added dose of her Nervous Nelly grandmother’s genes, which takes the stressing about everything to a whole new level. I stress but eventually I find it exhausting and am able to come back down to a ‘go with the flow’ calm.

  42. Hannah’s gotten a lot better and usually I just get those final phone calls.She usually only does call when she needs something, but she can also be supportive and interested in just talking.

  43. I also can be frugal but my MIL is again, on another level. Daughter tends to put her toe in MIL’s realm of cheap, for most things. Though, if she does cave on buying something, she will invest in quality somethings.

  44. This looks cute. I like gag at the very end. That’s the way I feel when I’m running up hills.

  45. Back off and let her screw up. Don’t try to ‘help’ with suggestions.

    My mom used to try and ‘suggest’ what I should do, and half the time I’d already done it, or I’d go another direction, there’d be a fight, and later she’d admit that I was right.

    Also, I hate to say it but does beasnette want to get married? Because she doesn’t sound like someone eager to move forward in life with this guy. She sounds like someone who is starting at a future that she thinks she’s going to hate.

  46. I need to go run. But I work at 5. I may just bike. It’s not the same, but I can’t really relax on pre-work runs.

  47. I was supposed to run yesterday, but got sidetracked trying to gook pork chili verde (it didn’t come out well). I’ll probably try to run tonight after I lift.

  48. Turnaround is fair play. You need to start venting about your problems and emotions-dumping on your daughters. If they’re so adult now, then surely they won’t mind if you move your relationship to a more equal footing.

    Oh, and beasn-daughter needs to get a rent hike.

  49. Who here makes bone broth? I bought some beef bones and want to make some but not sure how long and with what to cook them.

  50. Bone broth is really just a factor of how long you simmer the soup. Not much difference. Some people like to roast the bones first. I never bother.

  51. CoAlex, she listens to everyone else’s suggestions. If her dad or aunt or Godmother suggested saving that $500 because they could give her the books for free, she would have considered it. She most certainly would not have mouthed them off.

    Also, by nature, she stresses about everything. Regarding the wedding, she wanted low-key and fears people won’t show.
    1. I tried to help her out but it wound up firing up fights between me and the husband who didn’t want low-key.
    2. That is something she’s going to have to grow up over. Every person who has ever gotten married has people who didn’t show. Friends come and go. 20 years later, you don’t remember who didn’t show.

  52. More times than not, my suggestions and they are only suggestions because life experience, turn out right. That makes her mad as well as when she accuses me of saying or doing something ‘wrong’ (in her book) and I prove her wrong via actual evidence – prior text exchanges/pictures/bills/consequence.

  53. lauraw, if/when she starts looking for other places, reality will smack her in the face on how good she has it. It’s in a nice, affordable, mostly safe, city, near a historic district. Most of the footprints of the homes in the area are about the same and those that are older will be pricier because someone either rehabbed them or you will.

    Any place close to the fiance’s work it out of their price range and any place closer to her work gets dicier. Back when I was growing up, the area she works in now, noone in their right mind would enter without being kevlared and armed. It’s cleaned up a bit since then, but

  54. Typical conversation ending in a fight…

    her – ‘Why didn’t you tell me, or do …xyz…’
    me – ‘I did’.
    her – ‘no you didn’t’
    me – ‘Yes I did. Remember this that the other’
    her – ‘That’s not how it went’.
    me – ‘Bring me my phone’
    her – *gets phone…won’t give me the phone…looks through all the texts proving me right.*
    her – *gets mad*
    me – ‘…..’

    If she’s wasting money because she hasn’t considered other options, I’m going to point out other options to save her from wasting money because she’s all about saving money. It’s her middle name. I won’t tell her ‘don’t do this’ or ‘you better not or else’. (Unless she gets really stupid.)
    I wasn’t bossy or confrontational with her. I’ve learned to walk on eggshells around her and choose my words carefully. She could have responded in a more mature manner. ‘Thank you mom, but no, I think it will be worth the money because it includes Mr. Forgets-to-shut-the-fridge-door.’ And I would have gone out the door the same way I went out after she responded in such a disrespectful way.

  55. Not once does she ‘tude her dad or go off on him.

    ‘Cause we raised them to think we’ll smack the shit out of them – not that we would.

  56. I’m here Carin! Just six hours later!! Glad you liked the book(s)!!

  57. Wait…earlier!!

  58. Btw, she’s not a monster. Most people who meet her thinks she’s just the sweetest thing. And she is. But shy, introverted, prefers low-key. Husband thinks she’s trying to break out of her shell by challenging me, who she sees as ‘safe’.

    I have found that anything to do with the wedding guest list or the house…I have the husband go to her to deal with it. I keep my distance and zip my lip. When he does, she will do whatever he ‘suggests’ with zero drama.

  59. hotspur, that is why two parent households are so important. When the kids were little, they feared me, and dad was Mr. Fun jungle gym. When they went through puberty, their fear of me was waning, and dad became the not-going-to-put-up-with-your-shit-because-you-should-know-better-wall.

  60. Rolla is about ready to be hit with storms. Take cover mini-me-firehydrant.

  61. Good on the 8th Circuit.

  62. Still sucks that it even comes down to judicial roulette.

  63. I think it’s only a matter of time before judges start finding out what kings have long known: whatever the paper says, no matter where you live, they can always vote you out office. I don’t want that to happen, but when the judiciary takes all these powers that were supposed to be held by men who could lose their offices, I think it’s inevitable.

  64. Happened in Iowa, after judges reversed same sex marriage. The judges were voted out of office. Marriage stayed, but those judges were out.

  65. If the judiciary is the new legislature, precedent is just a matter of convenience to be used or dispensed with as needed.

    And I wasn’t talking about elected judges.

  66. Impeachment was intended as a bloodless means of removing obnoxious officials. It has been neutralized from that purpose. It seems too many have forgotten what the alternative is…

  67. Kings don’t get fired. They maintain 80% favorability or they, well, they go away. If you’re really, really lucky, you get sent to Elba.

    Mostly you get poisoned by the Vizier.

  68. Of course it seems like the viziers run the joint half the time now, with the kings as figureheads. Which may be an even more disastrous state of affairs.

  69. Must be phone it in monday at HQ. 4 posts re: “what some dumbfuck on cnn said” and two of minimal substance. Is it me or is he deteriorating? Seems like the last couple of weeks has been formulaic over there. The COBS are producing better content.

    Of course i could be wrong and am just being “grumpy”.

  70. You guys are too serious!

    *puts on clown nose*

    *honks little clown horn and smiles winningly!*

    C’mon, guys! I killed two actual clowns and these are my death-trophies. Cheer up!

  71. .
    *sad honk*

  72. mufakus are all over at H8, I just know it

  73. Viziers almost always run things, that’s why they do the poisoning before a revolt actually breaks out, so they can smoothly transition to a new figurehead.

  74. *stirs a bit in my chair*

    Clown nose?

    Holy shit..A CLOWN!!

    *tackles the freakish clown-nosed thing, notices that it has a slimey ooze…uses to my advantage in getting it across the floor and down the basement stairs….slams door/hammers it shut*



  75. *wipes hands on BroCavil*

  76. *inspects beasn’s basement*

    *whispers under beasn’s basement door*

    you have silverfish in your laundry room

  77. trying to gook pork chili verde

    Asian/Oso Fusion? Interesting…

    Sounds like a name for a Thai porn star.

  78. Now what should we talk about?

    Let’s talk about Pupster’s min-vacation at the intersection of Ivy Creek and Brown Branch in Weaverville, NC. All y’all wish you had it good like me.

  79. Just got home.

  80. Ewwwww, clown snot! Honestly the greasepaint mixed in is the worst part…

    /considers cleaning shirt

    /takes it off and burns it instead

  81. Remember the summer of clown terror? People getting arrested just for driving by a school while dressed as a clown? Schools getting shut down for clown sightings?

    Good times.

  82. That was what, three years ago? Four? lulz

  83. How did Possum like school? Dan made “Betty’s” again tonight. Very yummy. Clowns are horrible!!!

  84. What’s a betty

  85. Don’t check urban dictionary.


  86. Of course i could be wrong and am just being “grumpy”.

    I think you’ve been studying too hard for your drug test.

  87. Possum liked school but had a potty accident. There’s a reason they insist that you send them with a full change of clothes in a large ziploc bag. If this becomes a trend we may have a problem.

  88. Lauraw, it’s a burger with peanut butter, sharp cheddar, green chile, and blackberry preserves. Dan adds onions. We didn’t want to spend 13$ for a burger. Dan made them at home. Tonight was 2nd time he made them. He added red onions the first time. Yellow onions tonight. Sounds gross. Very good combination.

  89. Leon, is there a classroom aide to assist with potty breaks? Nephew kept having “Accidents”. Turns out teacher was overwhelmed by “Potty” requests.

  90. overwhelmed by “Potty” requests.
    *raises hand slowly*

  91. *shits self*

  92. It will be OK Leon. Preschool is a big deal but she will be fine.

  93. There is, but if it was anything like home accidents, she just got busy playing and ignored the p-signal until she made a puddle.

  94. dad was able to get a job at 25 that he kept for 35 years.

    I will have 34 years with NASA next week. Probably doesn’t count since it’s a gov’t job but it is a long time.

  95. Comment by Pupster on August 26, 2019 8:42 pm
    It will be OK Leon. Preschool is a big deal but she will be fine.

    I mean, her chances of getting into a good elementary school are shot, so she’s off the Harvard Track, obviously.

  96. Let’s talk about Pupster’s min-vacation at the intersection of Ivy Creek and Brown Branch in Weaverville, NC

    Farm or gun store?

  97. Oso, how does Dan prepare the green chilies? I mean are they cooked or from a jar or can? I’m willing to make a Betty but I’m going through need some pointers. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?

  98. mmm jambalaya is better the second day

  99. Mrs Pupster has been doing marketing work for the food Co-Op in Asheville , they asked her to come in for a day and I’m tagging along to do nothing but sit by the fire pit and or creek for two days.

  100. It kicks ass all the time.

  101. Can’t move, pinned to the floor

  102. I never went to preschool. This is to what I attribute my exemplary urinary retention.

  103. Pupster, excellent.

    I am trying to remember where in NC my parents used to take us to get apples. Weaverville sounds familiar, but it might have been Hendersonville. We also went to Biltmore, Franklin, Chimney Rock, and Cherokee.

  104. Roasted green chiles. Thaws them. Tonight, he broiled the green chiles under the sharp cheddar to sear the flavor into the hamburger. Bottom bun next to burger had the creamy peanut butter. Top bun had the blackberry preserves. Oh, he put the onion under the cheese with the green chile.

  105. Never went to preschool or kindergarten. Cross country trips in the family Ambassador Station Wagon. Only stopped when we needed to fuel up.

  106. so, a PB&J crossed with a cheeseburger?

  107. would be better with chunky peanut butter.

  108. just blocked ads from The McCain Institute on FB. Don’t need to see that shit. Cindy and Megs are voting for Biden, anyway.

  109. We’ve been watching The Buddy Holly Story (1978) with Gary Busey. I’ve never seen it before. It’s kinda weird, knowing what Gary Busey looked like later in life. But he did a good job.

  110. J’ames, PB&J crossed with a green chile cheeseburger. I’ve never been a fan of crunchy PB.

  111. *frantically calculating how to make a low-carb version of the Betty*

  112. Gross.

  113. Scott, sounded gross to me. Won the best “Green Chile Cheeseburger” in ABQ. It’s weird how well the tastes and textures meld together.

  114. Ambassador Station Wagon

    Hah! Riding in the back, making faces at the people in the cars behind us. I had a Matchbox car that matched the Ambassador.

  115. yannow it’s national Pun Day tomorrow, right?

  116. You made that up.

  117. I had a potty accident at work and they didn’t send me home.

    /cries bullshit.

  118. have some pie and cheese, too, laura!

  119. gotta build up the mewe peeps

  120. Doubtlessly, Erika remained pious.

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