MMM 373: A full ton of grass clippings

So if you ever let parts of your lawn “go” in the hopes of making hay out of it, you’ll get some surprises.  You may find that some of it is actually rye and timothy, which will grow tall and straight and will become hay readily, but you’ll likely also find that quite a bit of it… doesn’t.  You’ll see some grass that has thin, whispy blades that fall down, twist into cowlicks, and generally get matted like a long-haired cat with bad grooming habits.  If you subsequently try to mow that, you’ll learn that there’s a limited amount of torque your mower is actually capable of exerting, and you’ll get to do a few restarts, assuming you can even clear the deck and let the blade spin again.

Meg squats is her yoo boob channel.

Is it cold or is she just perky?

Supposedly a volley baller.

Where do I find a big chain?

Looks like Anjella again, but it might just be another girl with tight abs who never smiles.

Pretty flowers.

She looks fun.

And that’s it for this week.  Have a happy Monday.

113 Comments

  1. I’ve decided to quit my job and start a landscaping business.

  2. Landscaping in the spring and summer, snow plowing in the winter and cooking meth on down time

  3. If by “cooking meth” you mean “tending the mushroom farm” you might be right.

    Reading a book about tax avoidance right now. Being able to depreciate my truck/outbuildings/lawnmower has significant appeal, as does finding some way to pass the farm on without the government getting a cut.

  4. Pupster’s meme game is stronger than your mom’s grip on that fiver she earned…the hard way.

  5. Mare’s out the gate with a sick burn.

    That one looks like she has a straw to her bewb.

  6. The last gal is a guy. Look at those hands.

  7. I work with a guy who does landscaping on the side. He only accepts cash and checks made out to cash.

  8. They are having us name our “team” for the Scaled Agile Framework that’s being pushed on us. Everything put forward thus far has been a Marvel reference. Sorry, I’d like to work with adults.

    Naming teams is childish nonsense that keeps morons employed in “STEM”.

  9. Every unemployed guy with a pickup truck is a landscaper.

  10. Heh, we work with “Agile” too. Except with none of the meetings, the accountability, the teamwork. You know, everything that makes it work. But it’s “Agile”.

  11. They are having us name our “team” for the Scaled Agile Framework that’s being pushed on us. Everything put forward thus far has been a Marvel reference. Sorry, I’d like to work with adults.

    Naming teams is childish nonsense that keeps morons employed in “STEM”.

    “The Rock City Deadlifts”

  12. This is even better, Jay. This is “Scaled Agile Framework!” (SAFe, see? so it’s safe to use!) which is a set of training sold by a company that sold a nearly identical framework 10 years ago with a different name, then 5 years ago under a different name, etc. It gets adopted, modified, then fails after a couple of years, but the framework is never the cause, just one of many causes, so the scam goes on.

    The government points of contact that give requirements don’t respect it at all, ever, don’t care about backlogs or technical debt, and insist on waterfall-style delivery deadlines — which would actually be fine if we just admitted that’s what we were doing and actually worked that way, which would let us shed all the deadweight that the prime inevitable hires to fill seats in the giant contract vehicles the government favors, because large acquisitions make the acquirers look powerful, and big contracts have much wider margins for shitty accountability. Plus if you’re the guvvie you can always blame the contractor.

    The whole fucking thing is broken. It’s the same model that gave you the Bradley and is struggling to deliver the F-35.

  13. Tom Steyer is jumping into the race.

    Because this is the Best Timeline.

  14. There was a jerb that was pretty much perfect for my skill set, but 3 out of the 4 description paragraphs were Agile this and Scrum that so I didn’t even apply. This was a technical physical security manager position for one of the biggest banks in the world, and they want to run it like a software development company. Nope.

  15. I’m thoroughly convinced that any and every “successful” Agile project was merely the result of having a collection of good workers, or enough good workers that the seat-warmers couldn’t cause sufficient drag.

  16. The current model allows for the people capable of doing the work to do all the work, while spreading the credit among all the participants to allow everyone to continue drawing a salary.

  17. I keep thinking there’s likely a niche somewhere between Pupster’s skillset and mine where you do site installs of web cams and processing that either routes locally or to a cloud repo for farms and the like, possibly even linking to the RFID tags they use in livestock ears nowadays so you can have a solid picture of your farm and that what comes and goes.

  18. https://tinyurl.com/adm4mbh

  19. The current model allows for the people capable of doing the work to do all the work, while spreading the credit among all the participants to allow everyone to continue drawing a salary.

    And yet, if it fails or we miss a deadline, it’s still all my fault.

  20. All the credit, and none of the blame!

  21. It’s especially hard on me as a remote worker. The only thing anyone “sees” is the work I’ve done. If I’m not producing, it’s immediately apparent and a serious problem. I’ve got a guy on the team who is clearly sub-literate and doesn’t know the common acronyms I’ve assigned to the project subcomponents (and use constantly in official communications) who’s been on the project for a full year without producing anything, indeed he actively broke something out of blind ignorance and was allowed to stay. This is his only project. He’s slated as a system admin, and I had to explain curl to him. The prime either cannot or will not fire him, because he’s got program access.

    He’s also a minority, but I’m not supposed to notice that.

  22. Heh, the crowd chant: https://www.businessinsider.com/fox-news-womens-world-cup-f-trump-2019-7

    How to make friends and influence people. Allie Long dropped the flag to celebrate with Rapidhoe, too.

  23. will not fire him is the correct answer. Unemployment is quite low now, so it’s entirely possible they don’t have a replacement.

  24. That Brett Weinstein video on youtube ‘how the magic trick is done’ is very good. Highly recommend.

  25. They don’t have a replacement. They can’t fill seats even with giant signing bonuses. Likely because they still haven’t brought up the salaries to what they actually need for the area. I think there’re still something like 100+ openings, and we have 90 or so that are waiting on full program access because the government office that handles them doesn’t actually have deadlines or any pressure to finish these things in a timely manner.

  26. And yet, I can’t get a fucking call back for any job applications.

  27. 39 warning shots? What knucklehead fires 39 warning shots?

    https://fxn.ws/2NEVw49

  28. Alex, this is in Dulles, VA. Beltway area is at effectively negative unemployment (I’m working more jobs than I should by slot, and that’s extremely common right now because there’s just no one else to do anything). Would you even want this work?

    I put in two applications last week through LI for local work at a significant pay cut. Nothing yet.

  29. Leon, I’m mostly venting. I’ve put in some application for the NoVA area, but I’m trying to avoid the beltway if I can help it. I figure I’ll keep at my current job for at least another six months, and take a few evening classes now that the workload has died down considerably.

  30. I need a landscaper who can blend Kentucky bluegrass and California sensimilla.

  31. I wonder about that, same thing happens here too, alex. Complain about no help, but never see any applications. Mgmt must be very busy.

  32. I need a landscaper who can blend Kentucky bluegrass and California sensimilla.

    Cannot the seeds simply be mixed and broadcast? Is there some mystery here with which I’m unfamiliar?

  33. My suspicion is that they either have a) unrealistic expectations, or b) want to claim that they cannot find a suitable candidate and so therefor need to import one.

  34. b) want to claim that they cannot find a suitable candidate and so therefor need to import one.

    Whose resume is pure lies upon which he will not be called, but HR got their seat filled.

  35. Hey, gotta cut costs so that you hit your earnings per share mark and get that bonus.

  36. In today’s episode of Horrifying Left-wing Advice Column

    Dear Prudence,
    I have been with my significant other for a little more than three years. We’ve had our ups and downs, and during a down time, I had a one-night stand. I wasn’t sure if the child was his or my boyfriend’s—until recently, as the child is starting to look like the one-night stand. My boyfriend knows about the hookup, and he also knows that there is a chance that our son isn’t his, but he thinks that we should continue raising him and just forget all about the incident. Should I tell this other man? I am almost 100 percent sure my son isn’t my boyfriend’s. What do I do?
    —Long Story Short

  37. You’re hired Leon

  38. Only way Jeffrey Epstein does any time is if they can find where he worked for Trump or Trump’s campaign. Otherwise, he will do no time at all

  39. Dear Long Story Short,

    You’re a hoooor. Give your son up for adoption and go work a pole somewhere.

    **I may be feeling a bit cranky about my fellow humans here lately.

  40. In a just world, Epstein would be tried, and if found guilty, tied to a tree near the courthouse and shot.

    **disclaimer above still in effect.

  41. You’re hired Leon

    Whoo hoo, client #1!

  42. keep thinking there’s likely a niche somewhere between Pupster’s skillset and mine where you do site installs of web cams

    Drones with analytics are the future of wide area surveillance. Fixed cameras are never where you need them.

  43. I’m… not quite sure what to make of the Meg Squats channel.

    “Powerlifting with the Diva Cup…” Ooookaay.

  44. Drones with analytics are the future of wide area surveillance. Fixed cameras are never where you need them.

    I would think that the power requirements and weather-limitations on drones would prohibit them as the sole surveillance option.

  45. I would think that the power requirements and weather-limitations on drones would prohibit them as the sole surveillance option.

    One stray lightning strike and you’re chasing your drone all over Astoria.

  46. They can’t maintain well in even a moderate breeze. My realtor for the old house had his crash in what were 7 mph winds at the surface.

  47. Beasn <3 Pendejo

  48. Anyone know what this is? Husband says ‘weed’ but he says that about everything in my garden SYWM. I’ve never seen one of these in my garden before.

    DSCN2247[1]

  49. pretty sure it’s pot. Or tobacco.

  50. Pretty sure you took a hit of crack.

  51. COCA LEAVES!

  52. Back when I was in jr. high, we had a unit on ‘drugs’ in our science class. One weekend, my dad took me and my brother, hiking (the only time). On our hike, I noticed marijuana growing deep in the woods. My dad was not too keen about my idea of taking a sample back to exhibit to my class.

  53. Pokeweed, Beasn. It’s attractive enough as a seedling that a lot of people mistakenly let it grow in their gardens, thinking it’s an ornamental. It makes long clusters of very plain white flowers followed by shiny, dark purple berries that birds love, and they will proceed to shit royal purple all over your statuary/ birdbaths, etc.

  54. That Brett Weinstein video on youtube ‘how the magic trick is done’ is very good. Highly recommend.
    ———————-
    Weird. I’m listening to Eric Weinstein on a podcast right now.

    It’s 80% interesting, 20% dumb as shit. Good Pareto principle.

  55. I need a landscaper who can blend Kentucky bluegrass and California sensimilla.

    I believe this is a Caddyshack reference.

  56. How’s Project Lawn Violet Infiltration going, beasn? Has hubby spotted it yet?

  57. MJ, one part of Brett’s speech cracked me up, where he said that the conservative media got the story of what happened at Evergreen exactly right while the lefties mischaracterized it, and he presented this as if it was unusual. This is just him experiencing the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect wrt shitty lefty ‘journalisming.’ If he himself were not a lefty, he wouldn’t be so surprised.

  58. This is the epoxy job I’m going to do on my kitchen counter. Just a simple sparkly white granite. It will work better in my little cream-and-white kitchen than marble. It’s just a small L-shaped counter. I’ll put a white subway tile as a backsplash.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5qw_AZx-TM

    I’m terribly excited to start practicing on some sample boards. Later. Still have to finish painting and then lay the floor.

  59. Totally agreed. I also think the whole IDW thing about wanting to adhere to moral truth in order to prevent a backlash from the far right as a bit self reverential.

    We must lead for the dumb left because the dumb right will kill us all pretty soon!

    But on the whole I like listening to these super smart dweebs.

  60. Thanks, lauraw. From what I’ve been reading so far, I better yank it yesterday.
    Lived here nearly 20 years and this is the first time one of these popped up in the garden.

  61. garden blog

  62. Have you guys seen this guy (Dave Morrison, Blue Collar Logic)

    Like his videos, and style.

  63. Jay, he just recently started popping up in my youtubes recommendations.

  64. So wait, Cernovich had a lawsuit that helped bring Epstein back into custody?

  65. We should hold a weekly “Stump the Hump” plant identifier contest.

  66. Stump de Hump Day.

  67. lauraw for the win

  68. You’re on! Western plants not allowed. I don’t know shit about those weird vegetations and cactus lifestyle.

  69. How’s Project Lawn Violet Infiltration going, beasn? Has hubby spotted it yet?

    Oo, almost missed this. Husband knows I put two in my garden. One is right at the border of the garden and the grass. The third one he is not aware of. That one I placed in the grass, under a hydrangea-type bush thing, which I forgot to cut back last year. BAHAHAHA! Before the summer is done, I hope to bring over a half dozen more.

    Also, these may have piggy-backed on the larger violet as I haven’t seen these in my garden before, either.

    L to R: small violet looking little weedy things…..wild violet I transplanted.

    DSCN2249[1]

  70. Those little ones are coming up in both white and bluish. If they’re weeds, too, I’m okay so long as they’re bringing some color I can tolerate.

  71. Laura is gonna get stumped when I get home. I just know it!

  72. Jay, don’t you know: you can’t stump The Hump.

  73. Can the hump identify this one…

    DSCN2250[1]

  74. So this is in my backyard, it has waxy leaves like a magnolia, but I haven’t seen a flower.

    https://tinyurl.com/y6kpdjfn

    A few weeks ago I noticed little green fruit, like apples but very small, about the size of a superball, flat on top and bottom.

    https://tinyurl.com/y3rc9lqn

    NAME THAT PLANT

  75. Trifuculus Dirctimanus

  76. https://tinyurl.com/y6kpdjfn

    Jeez, that’s easy. It’s a red chair.

  77. Haven’t a clue pupperoni. You’re in NC, right?

    *bings NC trees with small balls*

  78. Pups, bing up a mangrove.

  79. I could be wrong, but I image searched and the mangrove apple came closest.

  80. wish me luck, going to chiropracter

  81. Tell him to stay away from your prostate

  82. 63 what the heck is a flying j?
    Posted by: ace at July 08, 2019 05:39 PM (PbpT7)

    We really, really need to help Ace visit the real world.

  83. Any real American knows what a flying j is because they’ve done at least one cross country road trip.

  84. Exactly why Ace needs to come and connect with us flyover people.

  85. Ah, the Flying J. Home of the Lot Lizard

  86. How the hee haw heck did the bridal shower AND the rehearsal dinner get dropped in my lap?
    Traditionally, isn’t the groom’s family responsible for the rehearsal dinner? And the maid-of-honor responsible for the shower? Wth.

    We didn’t do a dinner when I got married because 1. we had no clue people did that and 2. his parents had no clue.

    I told DD to tell her MoH to get with her aunt/cousin, who were talking about doing the shower. Pretty sure auntie would go in halfsies to rent a room somewhere or even offer up her house.

  87. Beasn 2:55, looks like a little blue lobelia.

    Pupster, you lucky sumbitch, thats a persimmon! Some Asian variety. Omg, I wish those were hardy here! I love persimmons. So sweet.

  88. Persimmons get about baseball sized and pumpkin orange. American persimmons won’t be edible until they sit for a while after picking, and get very soft, like jelly inside, and then they are like honey. They are a more tall, conical shape. The Asian ones are supposedly non-astringent even when still crisp, and they have the flattened ball shape like yours. I wish I knew the variety you have, I could tell you more.

  89. Sounds like Laura and Scott will need to make a road trip to NC soon.

  90. I hear deer like persimmons too, but Nessie the wonder dog will undoubtedly protect your harvest.

  91. I think American persimmons ripen in very late Fall and into Winter. Not sure about Asian varieties.

  92. What kind of plant is this?

  93. Huh. I’ve never had a persimmon. I’ll let you know in a couple of months.

    Thanks Lauraw!

  94. Is it a citrus, Jay?

  95. Ooo, laura, the Wonder Gardener! Looks like Jay was right when he guessed ‘tobacco’.

    “While there are numerous varieties of lobelia plants, only a few are commonly seen in the home garden—L. inflata (Indian tobacco), L. cardinalis (Cardinal flower), and L. siphilitica. Interesting enough, the name of Indian tobacco derived from the fact that Native Americans once smoked lobelia plant to treat asthma. Also known as pukeweed, doctors once prescribed the plant to induce vomiting.”

    These must have sprouted on their own due to our very cool, wet, spring. Sometime during the past years, I must have had some in a hanging basket.

  96. I was going to guess some variety of nightshade. I got the family right, at least.

  97. LOL

    *grabs book on plants, closes eyes, opens to any page, points finger*

    It’s milkweed.

  98. It is, scott.

  99. HEY, don’t knock the milkweed, hotweed. I’ve got a forest of them going on in my back garden – your whore mouf, shut it. It smells very nice down there on these hot summer days. Tons of bees and some monarchs are enjoying them.

    Saw one of them white butterflies in the front garden.

  100. If I got that part right, Laura should know the rest.

    In about 2 hours she’ll probably chime in, if the crazy people are behaving.

  101. How did it go with the chiro?
    Did you punch him in the face after the “alignment”?

  102. Haha, no. I heard/felt lots of cracking, but didn’t feel much different. I go back thursday. 4-10 appointments. My hips are crooked.

  103. *cough*
    from sitting on a wallet
    *cough*

  104. Co-worker who is nearing retirement has been buying houses, remodeling them, then renting in order to build up a steady income. His wife hired a “helper”. Co-worker got pulled over for not wearing his seatbelt (more than likely checking for weekend drunkeness). The cop eyed the helper and asked for ID. Turns out the helper has an outstanding warrant, gets arrested.

    Co-worker felt sorry for the helper and was going to bail him out, until he found out the warrant was for “failure to appear”.

  105. The other funny story I have to share is this. You remember the running joke on Archer about his phone, where the voicemail message is “Hello?…. What now, Mother?….Fooled you, leave a message.” Different (elderly) co-worker’s voicemail message is just him saying “Hello?” and a long pause before the beep. I have fallen for this twice, and he won’t (or can’t) fix it.

  106. Kilt it early.

  107. A family member sang a song on her voicemail message. A long long song. So cringeworthy, you’d hang up immediately after the first word. Though sometimes, you couldn’t. Brrr

  108. sorry haven’t had my wallet in my back pocket in years

  109. Man, it’s hard to tell. Kaffir lime? I don’t know what other citrus has that extra leaf at the base. I’m not that familiar with citrus except for growing a few potted oranges from seed and having way too much intimate experience with those fucking lance-like thorns. That’s probably why Scott recognized it too, ha. He helped me move them when they got real big.

  110. Daniel effortlessly reproduced Picassos.


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