Don’t Tell Her it’s Meme


























































  1. This one has been sitting in draft status for weeks, I feel like I’ve published it previously.

  2. Most excellent, Puppers.

    The milkshake one made me LOLoud!

  3. We have experienced that Rambo deal. A few times.

  4. Meme-A-Palooza 2019

  5. I think I filled out fewer questions to get my clearance. I said screw it on the second page, but wife is still filling it out. 5 F’ing references. Is this the new normal?
    Thermadin, I think this is the new normal. When we adopted Star through the ACD rescue there was a lot of forms and reference checks. After we got her we thought we had room for a second dog and approached them again. They sent a lady to our house to “assess our relationship with our rescue dog and to determine whether we were suitable for a second one”. I vaguely recalled meeting her when my ex wife was busy doing dog agility stuff and she was a hardcore “dog person”. She was pretty dismissive of our desire for a second dog through the rescue association. We said fukkit and just bought a new pup from a breeder in Western Maine. He’s a great pup and hasn’t suffered despite her assessment of our barely adequate dog parenting skills.

  6. I don’t know your situation Thermy, but if you don’t know GSD then you might want to switch it up to a yorkie or something.

  7. Excellent poat, Pups!

  8. I loved my GSD. Female’s area also loyal, smart, eager to please.

    They’ll also bite the piss out of anyone the feel is a threat.

  9. It was the dog parenting skill questions that pissed me off and the references. Hell one question was do you smoke. I’m ready to start looking at just buying one.

    I’m not admit on a GSD. The wife had one growing up and I had border collies and blue healers. The dog before the last was a Austrian shepherd mix. Is there something on the GSD that I should be aware of? My wife is home all day so it’s not going to be alone. I know they can be protective. But no way are we getting a yippy Yorkie. However, she would love a Dachshund.

  10. GSD’s are working dogs, they need a job to do. Nessie the Wonder Dog is great with family, BUT she charges at strangers and other animals with the intensity to make them poop themselves. Her job is pack security, and she views pretty much everything outside of us as a threat (toddlers, birds, bugs, bees, airplanes).

    Both my GSDs were like this, my first (Wolfgang) was a bit more reasonable with people than Nessie, but even on a leash they both would jerk you off your feet going after another dog. I’ve been around other GSDs that were more laid back, but both of mine have been scary maniacs with strangers and other animals.

  11. Toddlers are the worst.

  12. Thanks Pup. A GSD may not be the best fit. The wife really needs a dog she can take on walks and keep under control. It was this place had a lot of GSD and really the wife just wants a dog ASAP. She doesn’t like being alone all day. I was surprise since not that many dogs were up for adoption.

  13. Nessie is a velcro dog, she attaches herself to me when I come home, and Mrs. Pupster the rest of the time. Wolfgang was more of a Director of Pack Safety and Security, always on alert from an overwatch position. They are great, very smart and loyal, eager to please, but can be a handful if you have close neighbors or entertain a lot. Or if your doorbell rings ever.

    Golden Retrievers are going to be our go-to after this one.

  14. Understanding the Left

  15. Good morning. Worky weekend.

  16. For Oso….


  18. Scott and I both took that AKC dog breed selector quiz for s+g and we both got ‘Airedale’.

  19. I got Beauceron. That’s a breed I’ve never heard of before. Herding dog. I did fudge the quiz a little when I answered “High tolerance for shedding” as if I vacuum or something.

  20. Down the page, in the list of runner-ups there was Belgian Malinois…I really kind of doubt that. Aren’t they crazy-energetic? I put ‘walks around the neighborhood’ not ‘adventures’.

  21. Looks like a sweet dog for a large breed, Jimbro. Look at the puppy!!

  22. They are a beautiful dog. Runs up to 100 pounds which is a bit too big for us. From the neck up they look like Heelers. I’m guessing a purebred Beauceron from a good breeder would run at least $3000.

  23. Hmm, there’s one for $1500 less than an hour away lol

  24. The deal with GSD is you have to socialize them LIKE CRAZY. They need to meet new people, strangers, babies, etc.

    If they don’t meet them in their formative months … there is simply a great change they’re going to be suspicious.

    Greta was a GREAT dog, and the “worst” thing she did was that she really wasn’t interested in other people petting her. She wouldn’t bite, but you could tell she didn’t want to play with anyone not in her pack. So, imho, I did an ok job with her, because there was zero bite risk (although she was a good guard dog). But if she’s met MORE people as a puppy, she probably would have been more outgoing.

  25. She also didn’t pull on the leash, and would come running at full speed when you called her.

    she was a really great dog.

  26. Rowan is poorly socialized too. He’s a maniacal barker straining at his leash when off our property. Not a biter but it’s not a relaxing experience. We keep him on the leash when we have people with small kids over to camp. If they ignore him he’s fine but kids don’t ignore dogs by default.

  27. I texted that Beauceron puppy picture page to Paula and her reply was “So cute” but the So had 5 o’s in it.

    We’re not ready for 3 dogs though.

  28. Now they’re saying the dude overdosed. The locals are crying coverup (I guess the police did it – because somewhere along the line it was reported he looked like he’d been assaulted). Copland.

    Ethan’s girlfriend is the chief of police where the body was found, and he just got home (Ethan was over when this happened) and declared they’d just found a body in the cemetery and that he’d OD’d. NOT assault.

    The dad found the body and said he looked like he’d be assaulted. I imagine one doesn’t look good after they OD.

  29. THREE DOGS> OMG. Three is a great number.

  30. You should mention that to her!

    (leave out the shedding part)

  31. A person who OD’s is gonna be hypoxic and probably blue in color. Thankfully I haven’t had to view any people who have OD’d in my practice. The closest I’ve come is kids who have come to my practice for years with their moms who suddenly come in with grandma because mom OD’d. That’s close enough.

  32. imagine a Border Collie’s brain in a 100-pound body. They are especially beloved by women as a dashing but sensitive companion and protector.

    I’m a Beauceron? Huh. Mom never said.

  33. Honestly, there is almost always someone home, but since we’ve been mostly a multiple dog family, I just feel … content knowing that my puppers are never truly alone. I’m pretty sure they just sleep when we’re gone, but at least they sleep together.

    shut your whore moufs.

  34. My friend has got me playing Wordfeud with him in the last month. It’s fun and he’s been playing for years. Sort of like Scrabble. I’m learning some of the tricks to get better scores but he’s been kicking my ass with little tricks that give him a lot of points for weird word combinations and letter placement. One of these days I’m gonna turn things around!

  35. Wordfeud killed it

  36. Pups, I love this post. The donkey one cracked me up. After a few difficult seconds.

  37. AAAAaaaaah!

  38. My investment in an $80 mower from Craigslist is turning into a bit of a $100 time-suck to keep it running, so far we’ve had to take the fuel bowl off after every other mowing and clean the carb jets to get it back to running, roughly.

    Boy2 was noticing a lot of battery powered ones for sale, anybody ever use one with a battery? I’m a dead dinosaur dog myself.

  39. Seen on Facebook:

    I only wanted one dog, but if God wants me to have 3, then 5 it is…….

  40. We only have one dog. He’s good, but now we have to keep him on the porch or on a chain, because he started roaming. Out here, a loose dog usually gets shot. He’s loose whenever we’re outside, and spends a lot of time working.

    One cowdog is pretty good, but if you start getting several, one of them is going to get a bad idea and they’ll end up penning all the cattle, or running them over a fence.

  41. Packing is done.

    I ordered a cordless glue gun so I can work at the self storage unit..

    So excited.

  42. Me and lawn mowers, well, don’t get along. At all.

  43. Belgian Malinois

    Our sheriff’s department has a couple of those that they use for drug sniffing dogs. They seem to be a bit stockier than German Shepherds but other than that, they look very similar.

  44. Upon my dad’s recommendation a few years ago, I bought a Husquevarna mower with a Honda engine. Trouble fucking free is all it has been.

  45. If Bible characters had iPhones w/ John Crist

  46. That Mad Dog 20/20 is totes me, meme.

    Love the shaved pooch one too. Good one, Sharon.

  47. My Honda mower is 30 years old.

  48. –Your Match
    Afghan Hound
    Independent, Sweet, Regal
    Among the most eye-catching of all dog breeds, the Afghan Hound is an aloof and dignified aristocrat of sublime beauty. Despite his regal appearance, the Afghan can exhibit an endearing streak of silliness and a profound loyalty.–

    Yeah, not something I would have considered. They may not shed as much, but you’d still have to comb their fur and shave their butt areas. Though, they do kind of resemble the Mr. Beasn side of the family in long lankiness.

  49. Where’s Oso? I’ve got to tell her all about the sweet corn I bought, six for buck.

  50. I have to clean out my spring veg rows and get some zucch mounds started. Spinach and turnips and mache all getting long in the tooth out there.

  51. I was at work. One of my friends does Malinois rescue. She trains some as sniffer dogs for law enforcement. Some as pier divers. They are extremely intelligent dogs that are full of energy. Real stars of John Wick 3.

  52. NM sweet corn is available in August.

  53. Two slabs of back ribs marinading in fridge overnight with Memphis Dust – destination: smoker for about six hours tomorrow.

  54. Beasnette in the Alps.


  55. Awesome Beasn. HS, why do moms get breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day and dads man the grill on Father’s Day?

  56. The hills are alive with the sound of Beasnette.

  57. HAHAHA!

  58. Oso, probably because dads are better at grilling the meats.

    I have never gotten breakfast in bed. If I’m lucky, I will have successfully guilted my kids into drawing me a picture.

    Husband just got back from a week in Oregon with his old college teammates. That’s the kind of things he does for Father’s Day. But the kids, if they’re ‘home’, will take him out for lunch or ice cream.

  59. Turn everything up to eleventy

  60. I think it was trying to say…Mare!!

  61. Your Match
    Bergamasco Sheepdog
    Sociable, Intelligent, Independent

    Generally happy with kids and other animals, the low-maintenance and robustly healthy Bergamasco is much more than a show-stopping hairdo. Eager to please, smart, and stubbornly devoted to work, Bergamascos are patient but protective.

  62. The Snoop Dog.

  63. I got New York strips to grill – will make Rocketboy do the grilling with Mr. RFH supervising so we end up with something edible.

  64. Beasn, I loved the Bible guys with iPhones. “I’m not getting on that boat!”

  65. wife woke up today and the TV was dead. Wound up getting a nice Vizio at Sam’s for $350.

  66. roamy, ever looked at sous vide, to add to cooking methods? Great for steaks.

  67. through season 2 of Bosch. Entertaining.

  68. Define entropy really precisely.

  69. Scott, that kitten was absolutely saying, “Mare!”I heard it clearly, very clearly.

  70. Australian cattle dog.



  73. ????



  76. Happy Father’s Day, Hostages.


    German shorthair, looks a lot like my BIL’s dog.

  78. The gentleman (heh) H2 Father’s Day link game is STRONG. Strong I say!!

    That german short hair pointing was precious.

  79. Xbradtc, on twitter you linked a story about a guy kayaking across the world from WA to Australia, is he planning it or did he do it?

  80. Good morning and Happy Father’sDay, Hostage Dads!

    I’m making some good sourdough loaves for Dad, to drop off before workyworky. I saw him last week and he was complaining that nobody makes good bread anymore. Perfect.

    I used the tangzhong method. Hope they come out good. The dough rose a lot more than usual in cold bulk fermentation.

  81. Although I’m not sure why you’re just lounging, alone, naked on the bed.

  82. packy packy

    3 chairs and a toboggan if all goes well.

  83. Is it just me or is Beto trying to mimic the cadence of Bernie’s speech now?

  84. If you’re a person who says, “You know, that Beto guy is just the type of man America needs in charge!”

    You’re a dipshit and I can’t be friends with you.

  85. Mare, I think you can substitute any currently running Dem name for Beto, and that statement will still be true. Swalwell especially.

  86. Well, shoot, Roamy is correct and Swalwell is, in fact, a colossal dipshit.

  87. Not hyperbole, I would not want Swalwell in charge of anything (school fundraiser…nope, park cleanup…nope,). He’s emotionally and mentally not fully developed.

  88. When your own momma won’t vote for you…just sayin’.


  90. Ribs are smoking. Using whisky oak pucks for the first time.

  91. Alvin! Oh, man. Can’t see him without thinking of Rosetta.

    Where’s Jay? Man, you gotta try the tangzhong method with making sourdough. It’s pretty great. Better rise, moister crumb. I’m interested to see how this bread is when it’s a day or two old. If it lasts that long, and it probably won’t.

    Gonna have to do more sperimentz.


  93. tangzhong method

    Things that sound dirty


  95. Hahhhhhhaaaahahhhaa

    PUPS, that was funny.

  96. Happy Father’s Day, everybody!

  97. /pours one out for dad

    Shit. Someday I’ll type that without crying. Not today.

  98. A thought popped into my head today that I needed to check the mail.

    Odd because I only check it about once a month, but I have learned over the years to always listen to that little voice.

    I got a letter from the accountant, estimated income taxes are due tomorrow.

  99. The guest priest is Father Raj, from India. Tushar, do you know him?

  100. Hmm, King Arthur Flour writer saw no improvement with the tangzhong method:

  101. thought about dad a lot too. Still some emotional pain, but more and more good memories come through now.

  102. Try it yourself, Jay. I used my go-to olive oil sourdough recipe and this texture and rise were noticeably different.


  104. Happy Father’s Day. BRB gotta read the comments.

  105. We would be watching golf even if it wasn’t Father’s Day.

  106. US Open is at Torrey Pines in 2 years. Pray for Oso



  109. Rocketboy and Mini-me did a good job on our Father’s Day meal.

    Watched the Journey to Babel Star Trek episode, seemed like a good one for today.

  110. Local Red Lobster was packed all day long.


  112. How is Red Lobster busy, when you live by an ocean? Isn’t there any local seafood places?

  113. We’re watching the Bosch series. Midway through season 3. They made him such a dick that it’s hard to care about what happens to him. It’s like the writers said “He’s too bland, let’s make him like that guy in To Live and Die in LA.”

  114. Heh, pepe, nice.

    Sent the Cuatro to CRKT, that’s what they told me to do. I ordered a set of torx bits, and snapped the first one off when trying to loosen the blade.

  115. Most of their customers are black.

    I don’t understand it.

    There is a great seafood place just up the street and I have never seen a black person there.

    Must be racism or something.

  116. From insty’s comments:

    “I’m in a different grocery store tonight and everyone is hideous in a different way than in my normal grocery store. It’s a nice change in horror.”

    “I just read that in Jim Brockmire’s voice.”

  117. Found my copy of John Kenneth Galbraith’s “Age of Uncertainty” from Governor’s School, which was the summer between my junior and senior year. Pretty sure it’s a crock since Milton Friedman didn’t like it. I don’t remember any of it, and it’s filled with doodles, so the class must have been pretty boring.

  118. I had the best clam chowder of my life in CT at a dive restaurant. Those people don’t know what they are missing.

  119. Haha, Brockmire is horribly wrong, and funneh.

  120. I just about to start season 3 of Bosch.

  121. So, did anyone pick up Jim Acosta’s new book? I’ll bet it’s by the bibles at Sam’s.

  122. That is what I loved about North Carolina.

    Any dirty shack on the side of the road will be the best chicken/pork/crabs you ever had.

  123. Bought a 10 lb pork butt for 1.30 a pound on sale. Smoked for 3 hours, now it’s in sous vide cooler for 60-72 hours. The smoke smell is awesome.

  124. Gary Woodland won the US Open. Good for him.

  125. Any dirty shack on the side of the road will be the best chicken/pork/crabs you ever had.

    I got the worst crabs ever from a dirty shack by the side of the road. Your mom was there.

  126. What happened to Jam2? I need lunch ideas for Schenectady.

  127. heh, someone just posted they did beef tenderloin sous vide style, and it tasted like prime rib!

    I hope not, that’s a downgrade!

  128. I didn’t get Acosta’s book. Levin’s Book is en fuego. No one is buying the Wolfe book.

  129. Woodland won. Dan told me about him and his pro-life connections. I was able to access all of his videos before he won. I cried. Post-win, FB and Google are hiding his results.

  130. It is uncanny. Social media is seriously censoring his pro-life beliefs.

  131. It was good to see Woodland win. It would have been neat to see Koepka win a 3rd in a row too. Koepka has turned into a machine in the majors. He’s won or come in second in the last 4.

  132. Dads everywhere, really pleased.

  133. How is Red Lobster busy, when you live by an ocean? Isn’t there any local seafood places?
    I think there was a Red Lobster in Bangor years ago and another place called Weathervane ( that used to have a couple of locations. I got the sense most of their business was from tourists who recognized them as a “place to get seafood”. There’s so many mom and pop places making seafood it’s hard for the chains to survive.

  134. Anniversary of the OJ Simpson low speed chase. The night it happened I was a resident on call and the TV’s in the pre-op holding area all had it on. I was waiting to get in to the OR with a guy with a mangled leg from a MCA. It blew my mind that people actually gave a shit about that clusterfuck happening thousands of miles away while not hurrying to deal with the real crisis waiting to get treated in our laps.

  135. Her names for the reporters are the best part of this one

  136. You can call me racist, but black people LOVE Red Lobster. I don’t know why. The place I used to work at (bartend) in Detroit was a Louisiana fishhouse . Fried fish all. Day. Long.

  137. MMM in about 15. Possum overslept.

  138. Fried seafood is pretty damn delicious. I haven’t had a chance to seek a road-side-shack for chicken, BBQ or seafood here in Charlotte, I’ve seen them around when I drive through the lower income areas around the city, most of the time as part of a stop and rob in a strip mall. I’ve been sticking with the chain restaurants because it’s easier and safer.

  139. Just don’t use Yelp to find restaurants. Trust us.

    Use TripAdvisor.

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