Need Sun, Need Warmth

We have had 5 days of rain and cool-ish weather(40’s-50’s) with today being the only day where it might stop raining. I have been promised global warming for years and thought I’d be in the tropics by now. Instead all of my citrus tree starts have died as have the decorative palm trees that line my driveway. My neighbors scoffed at the notion of my equatorial vision but I kept my own counsel, inspired by the prophet Algore. Soon I will build a massive greenhouse over my yard warmed by cow farts and cigar smoke and I will be the laughinest laugher that ever laughed!

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That’s all I got except this spectacular educational meme, courtesy of our own resident Punster

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127 Comments

  1. Great poat, Jimbro!!

    My favorite part?

    “My neighbors scoffed at the notion of my equatorial vision but I kept my own counsel, inspired by the prophet Algore.”

  2. And your categories are hilarious.

  3. I figured out how I can help CARin and her team with the marathon run.

    https://tinyurl.com/y26q7zou

  4. Wakey wakey.

    Doggie pets would help.

  5. Roamy, how are you doing?

  6. I figured out how I can help CARin and her team with the marathon run.

    He be pimpin dat bitch out.

  7. Mornin.

  8. I managed to get the fenced yard where Possum plays mowed yesterday. Now I just need to mow another 3 acres and I’ve got that done for at least a week.

    I really need some chicken/rabbit tractors.

  9. That dog giving love to runners reminded me of this phenomenon

    https://www.runnersworld.com/news/a27129281/boston-marathon-scream-tunnel/

    No word on whether Wellesley college alumna Hillary participated in the scream tunnel. Maybe at the original Battle Of Marathon.

  10. It’s usually pretty awesome to have people cheering. It perks you up.

  11. Maybe we should do that to help Leon mow the other 3 acres?

  12. I don’t mind the labor of mowing, it just feels really wasteful. My grass is amazingly lush and grows fast. Mowing it down rather than feeding it to something that benefits me in some way is a tragedy.

  13. If you compost it, it’s not wasteful.

  14. I let my grass clippings compost naturally where they fall.

    As God and nature intended.

  15. Would a compost heap and a truck garden be beneficial?

  16. I’m fine with that too Jimbro. It’s really good for the lawn.

  17. Leon, in a few more years you can get possum out there cutting the grass for you.

  18. Googling Truck Garden give you some cool pictures.

    I like this one: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/14/0f/ac/140fac2635079535b0a74b8e3d5aa038.jpg

  19. That is very cool. We had a truck garden when I was a kid but that’s because we we had a truckload of vegetables to sell when we harvested.

  20. On the bright side, if you’re in Washington state, you can legally mix it in with all the rejected suitors and door-to-door salesmen you’ve been stockpiling over the years to make some killer compost.

  21. Car in doesn’t kill all the rejected suitors… just the ones who play Peter Gabriel outside the house at midnight.

  22. *Puts Bobby Mcferrin on the boombox.

  23. Erin’s still not ready for suitors. She’s “over” the ex pretty much, but still not ready.

  24. The grass is so thick that I can’t just leave it where it falls, it’ll get hot and burn the grass. I either mow it again to shred and scatter it or go back with a rake.

  25. God, how I wish all 10 acres were grass like I’ve got in the front lawn. The horses would eat for free and I could feed another 10-15 sheep on the rest.

  26. Checking a few boxes for Leon

    https://tinyurl.com/y22wbgd5

  27. Like the gong in a Tibetan monastery.

    Screen door in a hurricane.

  28. Psssssssst, hey, some dipshit poll says that Biden is 8 points ahead of Trump, also, would you like to buy this Rolex watch that I get at a special discount from the actual Rolex manufacturer?

  29. She’s adorable, Pepe and has lovely legs.

  30. Nice smile, too. Only looks slightly forced, but that happens three hours into the shoot, I suppose.

  31. Oil-and-gas drillers and refiners had some of the highest-paid median workers in the energy and utility sectors in 2018, according to The Wall Street Journal analysis of annual pay disclosures for hundreds of big U.S. companies as provided by MyLogIQ.

    Houston-based Phillips 66 paid its median worker $196,407, the highest of any company in the sector.

    From the Wall Street Journal

  32. I may put up a post at the mother ship this weekend about Biden’s looks.

    He’s just so off putting.

  33. Carin, the person who did that to their ’41 Chevy needs to have his ass kicked, and his dick cut off.

  34. Sherp are bad. Goats are better.

  35. Goats can’t live on grass alone. Hair sheep can, and don’t taste like lanolin.

  36. MJ, Biden is 76 years old, 76! 77 when the election rolls around.
    Oooookay.

  37. He’s been in politics his whole adult life and has done nothing. Nothing but get paid by the government and work deals for himself and his son. He’s a quarter wit who has a habit of putting his foot (with shoe) in his mouth. He’s a serial groper and allowed to do so because to bring attention to it by his own party would be a killer for his career and look poorly for the dems. He’s a plagiarist and a glad-handing (in a veneer covered phony way) fool. Dumb doesn’t begin to describe his lack of mental ability.

    He is a perfect dem candidate. VACUOUS.

  38. Plus, the Biden family antics may hurt him as well. Kind of hard to condemn Trump’s three marriages when your candidate’s son abandoned his wife and children for his sister-in-law.

  39. Biden’s gonna get #metoo’d out of this thing. Kamala is the nominee.

  40. Don’t knock Biden too hard. I want him to run. I remember his foolish performance in debating Paul Ryan. God, what a jackass.

  41. The McCain endorsements will hurt him, too.

  42. I don’t think it will be Kamal-toe. I’m thinking a brokered convention. It will be Cankles, the Wookie, or the fucking racist Oprah – none of whom are running at this point.

  43. As I watched the report on him entering the race and heard part iof his video knocking Trump I was wondering how a debate between them would go. All I could think of was Joey Chompers debating Paul Ryan with his porcelain teeth and laugh. Trump would have a field day with that shtick.

  44. I was wondering how a debate between them would go.

    As BCochran’s pint-sized sidekick likes to say, you know that someone is getting called a “lying motherfucker” and then the fists will fly along with hair plugs and bits of golden scalp weasel.

  45. If the convention parachutes in a nominee who didn’t even run for most of the primaries, all hell will break loose with the base. Especially if it’s Hillzebub. That one’s so radioactive Godzilla says “Damn, girl, turn that shit down!”

  46. Jesus Christ! Really Joe?

    What the fuck is wrong with you?

  47. I don’t think that they can parachute in a nominee. The committee would devolve into open warfare.

  48. https://tinyurl.com/y456k8v7

  49. Kamala-toe and Pete Buttplug.

    It’s got all the right SJW boxes checked, and both of them have blown dudes, so getting superdelegates and donors will be a team effort.

  50. Harris/Buttiegieg is very possible.

  51. Nobody ever talks about Corey Booker. He’s blown dudes.

  52. NJ is in the bag, and Kamala is black-ish (i.e. not actually African). Corey won’t even get a plum job in the admin.

  53. And I’d wager Beto has swallowed his share of jizm.

  54. Beto might get the VP job if they think TX is in striking distance.

  55. I’m not a huge fan of MMT, but people at the HQ need to do some reading before they start throwing out stupid criticisms which are answered in the first paragraph of any MMT argument.

  56. Did 8 200 meter runs yesterday. Yikes. They were tad slower than flo-jo’s 21.34 seconds in 1988.

  57. leon, you mentioned your suspicion of China behind the opioid problem.
    What is your take on Gary Webb uncovering the CIA behind crack in black neighborhoods to fund the contras? He then committed suicide via two bullets to the head.

  58. First democrat debate:

    Moderator: Who has blown dudes?

    *everyone raises their hand*

    *Kamal-toe raises both hands*

    *everyone else raises both hands and begins waving madly*

    *Buttplug unzips Beta and blows him*

    *Booker bends over and blows himself*

    *Kamal-toe walks offstage and announces her withdrawal*

  59. I was so slow … but I had just done a crossfit workout – that basically killed me.

    I’m definitely going to try 200s again soon. ish.

  60. I hadn’t heard that, beasn. I’ll look into it.

    WTF is MMT?

  61. Yeah, Harris/Buttigieg is credible. Fits all the insider/activist criteria and gets just enough of the base to make it stick.

    Doubt it would fly during the general, but I’m having difficulty finding an announced D candidate that would…

  62. “WTF is MMT?” Thank You. I was wondering the same thing.

    Im quitting smoking. Started on Monday and haven’t committed any major crimes against humanity yet……but the day is young.

    Roamy, Hope you get to feeling better. Would it help if I sent you a patch?

  63. Modern Monetary Theory.

    Basically they argue that the standard economic view of money is incorrect, that rather than taxing to raise money and then using that money to pay for things, governments have historically issued money to pay for things, essentially creating debt, and then raised taxes to cover those debts, which creates a demand for money.

    They also argue that in a fiat system governments can always pay their debts by printing money, and as long as the growth of the money supply doesn’t outpace growth of output, you won’t see inflation. Hence, deficits aren’t actually a problem by themselves.

  64. leon, I was reading the transcript of Mark Levin’s interview with Lara Logan. She was talking about how there were still some good journalists (albeit mostly silenced) and she brought up, in passing, Gary Webb, a journalist who investigated, for over a year, about how it turned out to be the CIA who was selling crack in L.A. in the black community to raise $$ for the contras. He wound up losing everything, including his own life with two bullets to the head, ruled a suicide.

    Given what we know now about the shitweasels running CIA, I can believe this. They certainly have been acting like mafia/cartel, so it’s not implausible them doing that or perhaps them, with China, flooding the deplorable zone with say, fentanyl.

  65. Kill the Messenger was about him.

  66. Since its original release, Song of the South has remained a subject of controversy. Some critics have described the film’s portrayal of African Americans as racist and offensive, maintaining that the black vernacular and other qualities are stereotypes. In addition, the plantation setting is sometimes criticized as idyllic and glorified. Because of this controversy, Disney has yet to release Song of the South on any home video format in the United States. Some of the musical and animated sequences have been released through other means, and the full film has seen home video distribution in other countries around the world. The cartoon characters from the film have continued to feature in a variety of books, comics, and other media.

    This is a crock of shit. Most of you have probably not seen this movie. I saw it when I was a kid and loved it.

    It isn’t racist, unless you have a chip on your shoulder the size of Mt. Rushmore.

    Unfortunately you’ll never get to see it to judge for yourself.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_the_South

  67. I need to understand how that stairwell works in CBD’s Morning Rant today. It’s driving me insane.

  68. Lauraw, it’s fake.

  69. Sorry to spoil it for you.

  70. I have vague memories of seeing Song Of The South as a kid. The hour long TV show The Wonderful World of Disney was must see TV on Sunday nights as a kid. Saw a lot of Disney movies dressed in my PJ’s at the Avon Drive-In Theater.

  71. In NYC on Sunday night it was Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom followed by Disney. Enjoyed them both as a kid.

  72. MMT fails when it comes into contact with human nature. It requires a level of discipline panderers and economic illiterates are incapable of. It’s like giving children access to a shed full of chainsaws and flamethrowers and expecting anything other than a flaming bloodbath.

  73. Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom

    Of course! Same as we watched. The old joke was about Marlin Perkins sending in Jim to get close to the water buffalo

    https://tinyurl.com/y4x7ovpm

  74. Oh, thank GOD, Hotspur! Don’t be sorry, you helped me. Phew. Sorry I was daft enough to fall for it. derp

  75. Right! Poor Jim always seemed to get fooked. “Here Jim is struggling with 16 foot board constrictor, but don’t worry, Jim’ll get the best of him.” While Marlin drank gin and tonics and slapped native girls ass…

  76. BC, I agree that it oversimplifies things too much and fails to take into account the complexity of human behavior. Those are, IMHO, legitimate criticisms. I’m annoyed at the responses from people along the lines of, “If the government can just print money, then why do we need taxes?”

  77. That kind of thinking usually comes from someone in the Free Shit Army.

  78. Yeah, I don’t think the person saying it really believed it. More a sort of exasperated sarcastic response to such a pig-ignorant bastardization of the theory.

  79. I mean the HQ commenter, not the TwitTwat. They’re idiots all.

  80. Jimbro gets a speeding ticket.

  81. americandigest.org If you have a inclination, a pretty neat blog about nothing specific. The author is retired and was in the publishing industry 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. He edited OMNI and Penthouse (among others). His whole town went up in flames (including his home) during the last go around of the California wildfires. I think the first link on today’s submission is to Matt Brackens “Alas Babylon” which is good reading. If you click the link stay out of the comments on that website as WRSA is infested with Nazi’s lately and there is a flame war always in progress between the non Nazi’s and the shitbirds. Or you could just google Bracken and Alas Babylon.

  82. I think WRSA is on my WP read list, I’ll check it later on.

  83. Sooo, my boss told me that she would handle one of the fiscal analysis requests. Since she basically rewrites anything I turn in I didn’t pay much attention to it when it crossed my desk for review (my name was still on as the analyst). Guess who just got yelled at by the requester because my boss missed big parts of the request…

  84. You work for a woman? Jesus, dude.

  85. Two women.

    My immediate supervisor is a middle-aged Chinese woman. Our group leader is a middle-aged DINK. I’ll rant another day when I don’t have work to get done.

  86. That speeding ticket video gives a taste of a real Downeast Mainer.

  87. Maybe an extreme example but the spirit is the same

  88. Y’all talk funny.

  89. This video made me happy to watch. hahhahaaaahhhhh

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  90. Hot dogs are causing global warming, therefore they must be banned.

    You can not make this shit up.

  91. Two women.

    My immediate supervisor is a middle-aged Chinese woman. Our group leader is a middle-aged DINK. I’ll rant another day when I don’t have work to get done.

    You have to play them against each other. They’re women, it won’t be hard.

  92. You have to play them against each other. They’re women, it won’t be hard.

    Unfortunately they are thick as thieves. They spend half the day in the group leader’s office, often with the door closed while they’re on conference calls. Every afternoon they go for a walk over to the neighboring building and back.

  93. They hate each other. You just have to figure out how.

  94. Or you gotta GTFO.

  95. Pr0n has taught me that if you bang one on the other’s desk it will get the other one crazy jealous.

    Don’t try that. It won’t work.

  96. GTFO is looking better and better.

    I was walking into work a few weeks ago and ran into a coworker from another floor, who had given me a tour my first day. She asked me, “have you started drinking heavily, yet? Because this place will eventually get to you.”

  97. “Im quitting smoking. Started on Monday”

    Good job. The worst is behind you. Your inner junky is going to say “you can have just one”.

    Your inner junky is a liar and an ass.

  98. Your inner junky is a liar and an ass.

    And a glutton. Once you’ve done it once you’ll rationalize a lot more offenses.

  99. Clearly the cousin of that rat bastard keeps negging me in my head.

  100. Once you’ve done it once you’ll rationalize a lot more offenses.

    The same is true about loose women and skipping leg day.

  101. Cigars aren’t the same.
    You can have just one.
    If you don’t smoke you’ll fall asleep at the wheel.

    Jackass.

  102. Here’s what ya do….. You get her alone, and say “Listen hear SugarTits, I appreciate you taking on this FAR but the customer just called and chewed my ass cause you fucked it up. How bout you get your shit together and get it right or take my name off of it so you get all the credit.”

    Then when she reports you deny the conversation ever occurred and accuse her of grabbing your package and making lewd remarks about “big salami’s.” Ask for three month severance package to make it allllll go away…..

  103. But…not inhaling!

  104. Listen here, not hear.

    Otherwise perfect. Endorsed.

  105. I love Song of the South. Uncle Remus. I love Dumbo. The Crows. You guys know that I’m a Disney addict. Splash Mountain is huge at both parks in America. Most riders have never seen the movie. They can sing 🎶 Zip a Dee Do dah🎶 and 🎶Laughing Place🎶 though.

  106. Tweet of the day: @jimantle
    Biden that train/High on Rogaine/Bernie bros you better/Watch your speed

  107. I’m surprised Neil Gaiman hasn’t been un-personed for writing Anansi Boys yet.

  108. I wonder if my bootleg Song of the South VHS tape is still watchable.

  109. Romacita, did you bootleg when all the Morons were sharing the bootleg from Japan?

  110. My dad had So Dear To My Heart on VHS. Can’t remember why it is objectionable now. 🎶Lavender Blue🎶

  111. Lawd reekris!

  112. NFL draft y’all.

  113. Then when she reports you deny the conversation ever occurred and accuse her of grabbing your package and making lewd remarks about “big salami’s.” Ask for three month severance package to make it allllll go away…..

    I’m still giggling like a leetle girl. CoAlex should totally do this.

  114. I work at a country club now and we had a party today. For the entertainment they had some hippie chick playing bells. I still don’t know what the hell I saw. I think it was art but I don’t fucking know. Is bell-playing a real thing?

  115. https://tinyurl.com/y4lqoqdv

  116. Nice palate cleanser.

  117. I really wanted to started swinging one of bells shouting ‘Bring out your dead!’

    But the average age of our guests was about 87 so I did not do that.

  118. I think it was art but I don’t fucking know. Is bell-playing a real thing?

    Change Ringing

    More Change Ringing

    Bohemian Rhapsody

  119. That’s what Car in listens to when she runs.

  120. Huh. It can be quite lovely. I had no idea that existed before today.

  121. Five Finger Bell Ring.

  122. Daddy’s Five Finger Bell Ring.

  123. Fucking in a closet.

  124. Five Finger Bell Ring Death Punch

  125. “Comment by lauraw on April 25, 2019 12:52 pm

    I need to understand how that stairwell works in CBD’s Morning Rant today. It’s driving me insane.”

    Here you go: https://youtu.be/eLAwG7CjF_k

  126. Dmitri embellished Rasputin’s prophecies.


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