MMM 362: New content

I tried very carefully adding to the binders last week for the first time in a long while, and I was able to do so without incident.

Violet leggings.


Those poor shorts are being devoured.




The patriarchy made her do laundry.


Matching set.


Not her real color.


Finally, a reminder.


Now let’s all have a great week.


  1. Everyone’s too busy making coffee, I see.

  2. *still waiting for coffee

    *rattles cup

  3. The laundry girl is my pick.

  4. Spin cycle for the win! I dont like “thick” I like slim, svelte, slender, lithe, the weight lifter thighs do nothing for me.

  5. I love every type of healthy female form in their own way. “Thicc” is just trendy right now, so the pics are more commonplace, and it far beats the anorectic look that preceded it.

  6. Having a hard time separating between honest self-critique and just pointlessly beating myself up this morning. No wonder I spin my wheels so much.

  7. Honestly, I should find at least some of the pics pleasant, but the streak of narcissism in the first one just puts me off.

  8. And therein lies the problem I often have. Decent and demure women don’t get photographed for the innernetwebtubes much.

  9. I can say with confidence, at least, that most of these women are probably still hetero, unlike HHD dudes.

  10. For the record, to each his own and more power to ya. Just stating my preference, no criticism of your efforts intended.

    *fist bump for leon

  11. Not her real hair color.

    Not her real mammary glands either, I’d wager.

  12. The surgeon/airbrush guy did a good job on the underboob scars.

  13. I’m not helping him unload that.

  14. Good April Fools day joke!


  16. Pretty sure he can just back up real fast and then slam on the brakes, Laura.

  17. If the gal in the laundromat would do her laundry more often she wouldn’t have to stand around in a laundromat in her underwear.

    Just saying.

  18. Heh, yeah it’ll drop right out!

  19. Her procrastination is our gain, Mare.

  20. I can say with confidence, at least, that most of these women are probably still hetero, unlike HHD dudes.



  22. Damn, sleeping in today?

  23. The following issue has put casa bean in loud turmoil.

    Daughter doesn’t want a long engagement and if she doesn’t elope, she wants a low-key, intimate wedding.

    Mr. B. is saying she needs to think about it because she’s going to hurt someone’s feelings if she leaves them out. It’s always that way. He even brought up my brothers. They’ll be butt hurt if we don’t invite them. The fu? Them f*ckers have had nothing to do with us for over a decade…one fleeced your ass and told you to suck it up and the other is flakier than the scabs on a dead hooker’s ass and you are trying to make a point about butthurt with them?

    I’m in daughter’s corner. Intimate does not mean INVITEALLTHEPEOPLE because feelings. Adults will understand if she wants to keep it small and invite only those close to her everyday life.

    Husband says it’s all or nothing. She’s already agreed that even if she elopes, she’ll do the church thing after, at some point. Don’t know why he’s being such a contrarian.

  24. I’m confused. Why is he involved in this decision? This is between the bride and groom, with some sensible input from Mom, as long as she’s not a borderline personality disorder. Dad’s part is the check, and thanking his lucky stars he doesn’t have to take a bigger part in the planning.

  25. If he wants to see all those assholes again, he can have a family reunion this Summer to remind him why they’re not invited to the wedding.

  26. Damn, sleeping in today?

    I had a newsletter to write, then crossfit, then driving Erin to work.

  27. I think Dads are sometimes … consumed with the idea of “doing what’s right” with events such as weddings. I can see Pat being the same way.

    If you have a “small wedding” and that’s your excuse for not inviting family, it had better be small or butts will be hurt.

  28. Every family dynamic is different, though. YMMV. My one cousin had a small/quick wedding because the grooms dad was dying of cancer. Understandable.

    My other wedding used the “small wedding’ excuse for not inviting people with whom the mom was fighting. It wasn’t a small wedding.

  29. And now -I’m much closer with the first cousin example NOW and in the second example, the bitch mom through my uncle out of the house and has distanced the daughter from this side of the family.

    Evil stuff. I saw my uncle when I was in florida on vacation. sad situation, honestly.

  30. I may be tired and cranky today. Work is gonna be a hoot.

  31. And the mother of the groom’s job is too wear beige and keep her fucking trap shut.

  32. Ok, I really need to go for a run. As I’ve mentioned (I think?) I’m doing the Ragnar Relay in September. It’s a 200 mile relay run – so me and five other friends are running between 30 and 35 miles each. I need two more people to give me their $$ and I sign us up.

    It starts on a friday morning and you run through the night. Finishes in Traverse City.

  33. A friend of mine has done two weddings for daughters – both at her house. Now her son is getting married, and the brides family approached them with a “we go halfies on it all”. And, of course,the bride’s family is making all the decisions.

    so … I think what she did was so, we’ll contribute X. No more. the brides family has some HUUUUGE thing planned.

  34. I cooked an arm roast in the instant pot yesterday that turned out well enough that the wife ate half of it. Just beef, garlic, salt, pepper, and a little chicken&carrot broth.

  35. I cooked an arm roast….

    Whose arm?

  36. “we go halfies on it all”. And, of course,the bride’s family is making all the decisions
    What’s the over/under for “Years Till Divorce”?

  37. Whose arm?

    Better you don’t know.


    Guess what I’ll be doing tomorrow before work? Heee he he teee heeee!

    *celebratory hunchback somersault*

  39. Leaving them in their carton, the porch will be very cold overnight. Perfect.

  40. I smoked a pork shoulder for 3 hours, then into sous vide for 60. You can smell the smoke today. Yum.


    Its not a real celebration til you sing the mailbox happiness song…

  42. Comment by lauraw on April 1, 2019 12:34 pm

  43. mmmm, pastrami was smoked at the same time. It’s delicious for lunch, too.

  44. The father of the bride pays for the wedding. Sometimes the grooms family pays for the flowers.

    If you can’t afford the wedding, make it smaller, or elope.

  45. groom’s

  46. Comment by lauraw on April 1, 2019 11:51 am
    If he wants to see all those assholes again, he can have a family reunion this Summer to remind him why they’re not invited to the wedding.


    I agree with Lauraw.

    Exactly what Mr. B is doing is why the wedding process can be stressful and SUCK.

    Encourage him to write a check and you and young Beasnsnsn girl will invite who makes her and the groom happy and leave the rest to be. YOU WILL NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE DO NOT TRY.

  47. Finally, a cookbook for people who really love animals.

  48. The eating habits of black and latinx communities also are good for the Earth because they kill you off sooner thanks to heart disease and obesity.

  49. meh, my parents gave advice too, wanted to make sure we understood the implications of large/small weddings, etc. he’s just being helpful. Perhaps beasnette misconstrued the involvement?

  50. It’s not uncommon for the groom’s family to pick up … say the bar bill. But it should be completely voluntary. Not expected. I think my friend was put off because they were planning this HUGE (i mean crazy) wedding and then approached them about going half.

    Umh … YOU plan a wedding you can afford. If they help out voluntarily, you just saved a bit of money.

  51. We only paid for the rehearsal dinner and part of Rachel’s wedding gown.

    Mostly because she wanted a destination wedding which was going to run over $25,000. Screw that; we have bills to pay.

    We told her that we would have paid for a smaller wedding, but not something that lavish. We don’t have that kind of money just lying around.

  52. I know several young ladies whose dads coughed up over $30,000 for their extravagant weddings. They were all divorced within two years. One got married in October, and was separated by Christmas and divorced by Valentine’s Day.

  53. Only $15k a month? LUXURY!

  54. My cousin’s wedding (another one, not one that I mentioned) was super $$$$$. I mean, unbelievably expensive. Waaaay over 6 figures. Maybe a couple of times over. Marriage lasted 6 months. My cousin got home and his bride told him she didn’t want to be married to him anymore. She was back with an ex.

    I never liked her. And fortunately HER family paid for most everything.

  55. 6 figure wedding? Probably lib voters, too, now complaining about capitalism.

  56. I’m building a war chest for Possum, the intent is to get her educated enough as a young woman that she can put it to best use with good guidance. College is a mess right now, so I’d suggest against it, but this is 15 years out and a lot could change. I’d hate to think she’d want to blow it all on a party, and I might toss it in a trust or something if she suggested as much.

  57. This isn’t their wedding, but this was the exact venue and pretty much the set up:

  58. Divorced in a year.

  59. Fucking asshole couldn’t even shave for his wedding.

  60. This isn’t their wedding, but this was the exact venue and pretty much the set up:

    Shit like this is arguably just as destructive as hardcore pornography.

  61. Trump should start referring to Biden as Gropey Joey.

  62. And wait until Mr. Beasnsnsnsns starts adding up per person costs.
    $15-20,000 is a relatively cheap wedding once a guest list is over 25 and heads to 100 or more (unless it’s a DIY at a location free of charge, which, good luck with that).

  63. Carin the bride’s parents planning an over the top wedding then wanting to go halfsies makes me lol in my unsweetened carbonated water.

  64. The cake at Carin’s link was probably $500 bucks alone.

  65. From Thumbtack (?)
    On average, a wedding cake costs between $350 and $450 nationwide. Several factors affect the average cost of a wedding cake including the size of the cake, the ingredients, the number of tiers, the delivery location, and any special flavors or decorations.

  66. First wedding was on the beach and cost me under 10 grand. I paid for it, didn’t even ask for her parents to contribute. [In more ways than one but that’s a whole other story]. Second wedding a few months ago ran me about $500 between the notary public, pizza bill and paying for my mom’s hotel room.

  67. HotBride got together with several of her girlfriends and made our wedding cake. It was beautiful, they drank wine all afternoon and had a blast.

  68. Pizza, beer, and mom. Doesn’t get much better.

  69. Custom cake at the first one from some bakery down on Cape Cod.

    Ice cream cake from Dairy Queen second go around.

  70. 500 for a cake? What planet are you on? Cakes are over $1000. Unless you count all those prole cakes the commoners get.

  71. Wedding cake is usually priced by the slice, and the range is wide—anywhere from $1.50 to $12 a slice. The more complicated the wedding cake, the more you’ll pay.

  72. It should always be marriage focused not wedding focused. Unfortunately, lots of spoiled girls want the “I’m a princess for a day!!”
    bullshit and shows like, “Say Yes To The Dress” are not helpful.

    I just saw an episode where an Iranian princess (although American), which, evidently there are a shitton of, made statements like this:

    “Budget? No Budget my parents want to make me happy!”

    The dress she chose was I think, $24,000.

  73. I thought Hotspur paid for your mom’s hotel room.

    $5K, 50 guests. Requested ‘no gifts, please.’ Broke even almost exactly. It was essentially a free wedding, everybody ate well, and the cake was moist and delicious. All I cared about was my dress and the food, ha ha ha.

  74. I’m pretty sure my cousin didn’t have a $500 cake at her wedding. There were around 200+ people at the wedding as well. Even if she got a relatively inexpensive cake – $5 per slice, you’re talking a grand. I remember hearing how much the food was per plate and it was … astronomical.

    Here are some frightening numbers:

  75. North and South dakota for the win. See if you can have it there.

  76. I’d prefer a nice, small wedding and instead of paying thousands extra for dumb stuff maybe upgrading things in the young couple’s home (if they are buying one). Help make their home more valuable.

  77. I have no idea what our wedding cost in ‘82. It was held at her church. Her best friend’s dad officiated. The church ladies all brought covered dishes. My in-laws bought a couple of cakes and some cookies I think. Tux and dress were both rented. I’d guess it was under a grand. My granny gave me $200 that night to spend on the honeymoon. That was pretty big.

  78. Ho-Lee-Crap, Carin, those expenses!!

  79. My granny gave me $200 that night to spend on the honeymoon. That was pretty big.


    Your Granny was smart and put her money into the expense with the most return.

  80. My wedding was at our cottage on the beach. We did everything , and it was both mellow enough for me, but just formal enough for my grandparents to feel comfortable. It did NOT cost much. Most of my kids have mentioned they’d love to get married right here at the house.

  81. My friend has had both at her home too. Her one daughter was smart and planted a garden with flower SPECIFICALLY intended to be used at the wedding.

  82. Cut flowers, I mean.

  83. well, your house is pretty cool.

  84. My granny gave me $200 that night to spend on the honeymoon. That was pretty big.

    You had to pay for sex the first night? Man that’s weird.

  85. That video was pretty spot on, Alex.

  86. The best part of having a wedding at your house is all the upgrades you make. All the things you’ve been meaning to fix, etc.

  87. Most of my kids have mentioned they’d love to get married right here at the house.



  88. You had to pay for sex the first night? Man that’s weird.
    Financial support seems to be one of the variables in this complex relationship we call a happy marriage. So in a manner of speaking…….yeah, probably so.

  89. Anybody wanna close my tab? Sounds kinda dirty.

  90. All the things you’ve been meaning to fix, etc.

    Getting those windows clean…

  91. LOL We had a chocolate fountain at our wedding.

  92. Cleaning the beer cans out of the woods.

  93. Yep. At least then if you make upgrades or fixes, you’ll have something to show with it even if the marriage blows up.

  94. Huh. I kill’t it.

  95. I detect a general dismissiveness towards the male in this discussion, as if he doesn’t have as big a stake as other family members. Just shut up and pay…….
    If it is recognized that Mommy has a stake in this game, then it should be recognized that Daddy also has a EQUAL stake in this game. I wasn’t concerned about my daughters wedding in regards to anything, but I think if it was suggested that I not invite someone I wanted there, I would’ve probably responded in a somewhat negative manner. If it were suggested that I do that and PAY for the privilege………think about it……what real Man would just roll over for that? Would you respect that man? I wouldn’t. (yes I know Im a misogynistic piggy)

    I figure he will probably agree to your position in the end as long as its rationale. But this initial reaction is almost mandatory from a man code perspective. Mr. B sounds like he has a pair.

  96. Troy, I agree with everything you’ve said. Period.

    “He even brought up my brothers. They’ll be butt hurt if we don’t invite them. The fu? Them f*ckers have had nothing to do with us for over a decade…one fleeced your ass and told you to suck it up and the other is flakier than the scabs on a dead hooker’s ass and you are trying to make a point about butthurt with them?”

    ^^That^^ is the section of Beasnsnsnsn comment that would make me say, “Mr. Beansnsnsnsnsm, let our daughter invite whom she pleases and we’ll invite who will make us happy but if those two losers make you happy you’re nuts, write the check, please.

  97. The father of the bride’s job is to pay, and walk his beautiful little girl up the aisle, while he chokes back tears.

  98. And also to inform his new son in law that if he fucks this thing up……well you don’t mind going back to prison.

  99. Really, as more people (and by people I know Troy is really referring to just the Dad) give their thoughts and opinions the more difficult everything becomes.

    That is why it’s best to not try and please everyone. The Bride would never get what she wants.

    Here’s another example- NEVER, EVER ask people what you should name your baby. If you can’t figure out why not then you’re not socially adept.

  100. When my younger daughter got married, she and her bridesmaids rode to church in a limo. When they got there they carried their gowns inside and dressed in the bride’s waiting room.

    After a while they realized that they hadn’t remembered to bring their shoes in. When they went back to the limo it wasn’t there, and none of them had brought a phone, so no one knew the driver’s number. Turns out he wanted to wash the limo during the wedding.

    So I walked my beautiful daughter up the aisle in her bare feet, as were all of her bridesmaids. Its was so funny.

  101. LOL, way to go with it, Hotpur’s daughter. Some things you simply cannot plan for.

  102. *hopes she didn’t pay a lot for the shoes*

  103. Our friends’ daughter got married last year. Sweet girl, exceptionally smart, raised right.

    The bride’s parents were assumed to be paying for the wedding (they have always been very frugal, but both came from money).

    However, the groom said that they only wanted to invite THEIR friends, and not any of the parents’ friends. It was a small, intimate wedding, but still.

    And the groom has already decided that since the bride will make more money in her profession than he will, that he will stay home with the kids while she works.

    Nice, huh?

  104. Gonna switch up and answer a question Beasn kindly posed re: my medical situation a day or so ago….

    Got the appointments for gastro and uro setup. Have decided not to view the GP as any thing other than a facilitator. I’ll have the uro pursue the RAA and the gastro guy can worry bout what the fuck is in his domain. I know he can handle the colonoscopy, its whether he can handle the fatty liver, Whats the liver specialist called? Is there a liver specialist? What system does the liver fall under? Endocrine?

    I’ve also decided that since there appears to be a commo breakdown somewhere, in future interactions I’m going to repeat incessantly like a parrot what I want and why. I’m going to do that until they repeat whatever I’m saying word for fucking word and make note of it somewhere permanent. I’m either not being heard, or I’m not making myself clear,…..I don’t know….I always look at these things to see what I did to contribute to the situation. Is it possible that I misinterpreted something? Did I fail to ask a question at the wrong time? etc. etc. I know I’m far from perfect, but good lord it really seems like “they” don’t LISTEN. Its sooo simple, LISTEN. They tell you to “take ownership of your care” and be proactive and blah blah blah, but whenever you ask a question they seem to get dismissive as if “you couldn’t possibly understand that” or “dont trouble your pretty lil head with that, that is our job.” Territorial kinda…You’re not allowed to talk to them in their language but they don’t want to talk to you in your language.

    So I’m kinda in “fuck it” mode. I’ll do what they tell me to do when they tell me to do it. But this GP? If he cant get his shit together enough to review my history and listen to me, I have very little reason to believe he can receive and review multiple (new) reports and coordinate anything. The only reason I even went for this exam was cause the insurance company was bugging me about the colonoscopy and the vascular surgeon that assessed the RAA a yr and a half ago sent me a letter telling me I needed to get it re-checked.

    And the sumbitches charged me $30.00 for a office visit to be told the exact thing the RN had told me over the phone.

  105. ” it really seems like “they” don’t LISTEN.”

    They don’t. They don’t care at all. I went in because I was having issues. Couldn’t see a doctor. The Nurse practitioner was an hour and forty five minutes late. Didn’t listen to a thing I said. Scheduled me for a colonoscopy and a scope of my esophagus. (hopefully not in that order) Turns out they do that for everyone who comes in “Everyone needs a colonoscopy!!”. First thing they did was to check the insurance, of course. They said that if they did the colonoscopy it was preventative and covered, but…….if they took a biopsy, it was diagnostic and at least $6K to me personally, I’d need to make arrangements to pay before the procedure. Tried to talk to a doctor for 2 weeks, never could. Talked to friends who had colonoscopies at this place, and they were irate. Treated horribly, (no specifics) and they said “never again.” I said fuck it and cancelled.

  106. Uh, fuck that. Either the suspect area falls under the insurance company’s “you gotta test that if you run across it” or it don’t get tested. Fuck “margin calls”. It either meets the requirements for testing or it doesn’t. There are arguments about RAAs, most of them are discovered post mortem and the rest by happen stance. They argue as to when is necessary to address. Last check I was at 1.5, just hitting the window where some thought treatment was required. The current standard to require intervention is generally agreed upon as being 2.0 but still based on other factors. My situation is complicated by the health of my right kidney and iirc the location of my particular weakness. Fortunately mortality from a ruptured RAA is 10% which means if I do my part , I could survive such a event. Unfortunately the surgery can require bypassing or even removing the kidney under planned and unplanned scenarios. Most effed up thing about it all….this medical problem is only found in 1% of the population. It was less, but modern imaging seems to discover more. So I am the elite! You non RAA types should bow before me (or at least send money).

    RAAs Rule!

  107. *hopes she didn’t pay a lot for the shoes*

    Funny you should mention that. She’s about an inch taller than him, so she didn’t want to wear heels. At her wedding shower some of her girlfriends got together, bought a pair of sneakers, glued rhinestones and glitter all over them, and gave them to her to wear under her floor length gown.

  108. Back from doing some tiling. No cussing it out today as I haven’t gotten to the corner where we messed up.

    Gonna catch up. BRB.

  109. Truck came today. My stuff is here. I’m sitting on a couch for the first time in weeks, and will sleep in my bed tonight.

    Pretty nifty.

  110. Perhaps beasnette misconstrued the involvement?

    Beasnette is on Cloud 9. She was pulling me off the ceiling.

  111. YAY Pupster! When did the family show up?

  112. Ace nailed Gillespie with the “Goth Fonzie” moniker. The guy is a fucking parasite.

  113. When my daughters helped me move in to my condo back in 2000, after we were done for the day they brought a bottle of champagne. After toasting, my older girl said, “Well Dad, it’s pretty obvious no woman will ever live here.” And I said, “What do you mean?” And she said, “It’s pretty masculine, Dad.”

    We LOLd. Then my younger daughter disappeared for a while. I asker her sister, “Where the hell is Angie?” She said, “She must be upstairs in the bathroom.”

    Eventually she returned and we finished the champers, then they left.

    After a while I thought it was time to turn in, but fuck! I would need to make the entire bed. So I thought, “Fuck it, I’ll just crash on the mattress and pull a duvet over me.”

    I went upstairs and lo and behold the bed was all made up.”

    I called her the next day and said, “Now I know where you disappeared to.” She said, “We have a rule in our group – whenever we help one another move, the person shouldn’t have to make the bed in their new home.”

    I hope someone does that for you, Pupster.

  114. And I hope you find $20.

  115. Why is he involved in this decision? This is between the bride and groom

    Egg Zachary. I asked him that and he’s all about buttering butts. Said he was miffed when he wasn’t invited to his friend ‘X’s’ wedding. Um, we went to that wedding because they had a priest and a rabbi.

    I think Dads are sometimes … consumed with the idea of “doing what’s right” with events such as weddings.

    We haven’t even discussed $$. He likes to see the good in everyone and keep them happy. Which is weird because he’s kind of ignoring what our daughter wants….one being minimal stress. I’m willing to pay for a nice dress (I so wish I could make one like your mama did, laura) and keep a lid on the rest as I’m sure beasnette would prefer getting cash over a bigger than planned wedding. I told him that everything he is saying about not offending anyone is just making a better case for her to elope.

    Groom-to-be’s parents told her that if she needs any help, just let them know.

  116. That was a very nice thing for your daughter to do, hotspur!

  117. My ex’s family had an neat rule.
    When family members go on vacation, you stock their fridge the day before they return.

    Coming back home to a fridge full of food is pretty amazing

  118. That is a nice story, Hotspur.

    When I got home from work, I assembled three bed frames and installed 3 box spring and mattress sets, but only had to make my own bed. Also I moved 2 dressers, installed a vanity mirror and unpacked 5 or 6 boxes of kitchen stuff. No Champaign, but I did get a nice Jersey Mike’s sub for dinner. The Pupster family has been here for a week, Beasensefs, we’ve been camping in our house waiting for the truck.

  119. Go Braves! Up 5-0 on the Cubs.

  120. When family members go on vacation, you stock their fridge the day before they return.

    Coming back home to a fridge full of food is pretty amazing

    Buy them a twelve pack of beer and drink eleven bottles.

  121. I made my own wedding dress. That was the second inkling that I was going to have trouble with my parents over the wedding – my mom told me I was on my own, that she was not going to lift a finger to help me.

  122. When family members go on vacation, you stock their fridge the day before they return.

    My in-laws would watch our son and house sit when we went to knife shows. At first, we’d get home and Penelopes mom would leave prepared food in the fridge, and have the house clean. The last time, we get home, no food left in the house, messy, and as they leave, “by the way, the toilets are backed up….”

  123. so fortunate to have the parents I did. Wow.

  124. I found out a while back that C arin was right about QotSA and Radiohead, so…

  125. My aunt and uncle, God rest their souls, stood in for my parents at my wedding.

    Can’t see the hem of the dress, but I had a lacy overlay ending at three layers of ruffles on a chapel-length train. Taffeta…sigh.

  126. Heh, good pic, Sean.

  127. Woot, Braves won!

  128. Creepy “Uncle Joe”:

  129. My mom was dehydrated. Her tumor is filling up again and displacing her organs. Drs at UNMH are reviewing her situation to determine what, if anything, can be done.

  130. Beasn, I H8 people looking at me. I was shaking so hard walking down the aisle, I was shooting flowers from my bouquet. Our Pre-Cana class was memorable. You could tell the short track from the Cell Mates. Mi familia and Cultural Catholics spending bank on weddings and receptions.

  131. Mini-me went to a quinceanera that cost more than a lot of weddings I’ve been to. Limo, two photographers, dresses, tuxes, flowers, dinner for a couple hundred people, DJ at a huge venue. At least her friend wasn’t going to divorce herself.

  132. Sorry about your mom, Osita. Prayers up. Sounds like a lot of the Hostages need prayers (TTroy, Pepe, TiFW, Jimbro’s mom). Apologies if I missed someone.

  133. Just assume any given Hostage needs prayers at any given time. Hard to go wrong with that rule.

  134. District Eight remains polluted.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS