Weekend funnies

Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today.


Not Sox.


Saturday is laundry day in the RFH house.


A little meditation?


If this poat sucks, blame it on the new Wordpuss editor.  I can’t get the classic one to work, and this POS sucks Brian Stelter’s balls, if he has any.

Y’all have a good day.


  1. As a bachelor I’d do laundry once a week. One dark wash, one white wash (NB: “wash” substituted for “LOAD”). That was it, took about 3 or 4 hours when I was home. When I used a laundromat it took half the time. Now we’re doing laundry 4 or 5 days a week. And by we I mean Paula. Holy crap, I’ve never seen such laundry!

  2. I don’t get the piles and piles and piles of towels – there’s only three of us yet towels are being laundered 24/7 it seems

  3. At some point in my life I learned that if you hang your towel up to dry you can use it more than once. Game changer. For the two months a year we have high humidity it’s less effective and not worth tempting fate.

  4. Rocketboy is getting his own washer and dryer today. To be honest, he has been doing his own laundry, but I was still washing linens and moving loads when he’d forget and leave one half-done. He doesn’t like my laundry set-up because it doesn’t beep when it’s done.

  5. The tranny flag outside Bernie’s office (pic at mothership) pisses me off, not because it’s there but because it’s to the left of the American flag. American flag should always take precedence.

  6. I’m offended it’s there.

    Why are we celebrating mental illness?

  7. Not only celebrating, honoring.

    FFS these people are nuts.

  8. I figure it’s like bright colors on a frog, a warning sign.

  9. Thanks for the post Roamy, good job. I’m sorry you are having wordpress problems, I just did a draft post on the old editor so I guess I’m good?

    I don’t bitch about the mountain of towels anymore, I’m just glad when the boys take a fucking shower.

  10. As one of the commenters said, they have all 3,423 tranny votes LOCKED UP!

  11. The classic editor would not let me load media, switch between visual and text, nor add the “more” tag to the poat (that whole taskbar was blank). I updated Firefox and tried editing it in Edge, no dice.

  12. Well, I checked your profile and yourname930 is an admin, I’m using chrome so yeah, dunno.

    Please don’t stop posting you are the lifeblood of this blerg.

  13. I might try Chrome, then. I’m hoping the WP people fix the problem between now and Tuesday.

  14. The flag thing……Did they run out of flag poles in DC? Is there a two flag per door limit law?

    Virtue signalling ridiculous bullshit.

  15. TTroy, what did the doctor say?

  16. The problem isn’t the 3423 trannies, it’s the millions of mushbrained millennials who think (so the conventional wisdom goes) that tranny shit is fine and dandy. I don’t buy it. I think the average young person is just as repulsed as we are, but afraid to say so.

  17. @ Roamy & TiFW

    It was so bizarre I am still processing it. The better half attended, it was so bizarre she almost launched. But short story long….ain’t found a way to kill me yet……although they are apparently trying to speed the process.

  18. I have an ex-employee who is a 63 year old black woman and she still has her 83 year year old mother and her 102 year old grandmother. They call her mother “mama” and her grandmother “mama johnnie”. So I ran into her the other evening at the local choke and puke and she’s inviting me to mama johnnie’s birthday party. However, in her semi-lazy southern drawl “mama johnnie” sounds a lot like “my vagina”. At first I thought she was inviting me to a party for her vagina. Good thing I got it all figured out before I committed one way or the other.

    This may be one of those “you had to be there” deals.

  19. Pendejo, there’s a co-worker who pronounces “ice” like “ass”. Ass buildup during LOX tanking is a problem.

  20. That sounds like a SNL skit……… Cork Soakers n Schwetty Balls….

  21. Possum says “aig” for egg. Neither of us do this. It is creepy.

  22. Who the eff is israel1962, and how many bullwhips does he have shoved up his ass?

  23. Israel has been liking posts for a while now, I don’t think he has commented. He’s probably too pussy.

    Don’t be a pussy Israel.

  24. Hell to the Nope.

    World’s Most Dangerous Hiking Trail on Mount Huashan


  25. Missouri is quite soggy RIGHT NOW! It won’t quit farking raining.

  26. Will hold off tiling until tomorrow – yes we still have a wall to go – because clean up is easier when it can be done outside (buckets, etc). Rainy and temp is dropping. Supposed to finally have some sun tomorrow.
    But I did get everything we already have tiled, grouted. Will paint the last three doors, two of which were special ordered, today while Mr. B. installs the vents (we had to go with those stand up ones because vents are placed right up against where the wall meets the floor).

  27. I like the ‘not Sox’ kitteh up there. Poor kitty with stool legs.

  28. C’mon israel1962, step into the light and disclose your bullwhip status.

  29. Which meatup was this?


  30. Campus Reform – Students Support Socialism… Until It’s Applied To Their GPA


  31. Pepe – It was either the Seattle or Chicago one.

  32. 300 burpees and 10,000 m row today. DEAD.

    The burpee were a challenge- donating money for my friend Rob (who is still in that coma) was involved.

    They were pretty horrible. Took 33 min. Then one of my ragnar team mates suggested we do the row. That was 50min. I need to eat and eat and eat now.

  33. Heh, j’ames. Mikey is gone for good. lol

  34. Damn, Carin, how long has he been in the coma? Any brain activity?

  35. Since Aug 4th. 😦

    They sent him to some super facility in CHicago for traumatic brain injuries in February, so I think they’re going to throw everything at him. The family has said that they are going to give him one year. I don’t know if they’ll start second guessing themselves as that date gets closer.

    PRAY everyone. I really miss my friend. I can still hear is voice, teasing. We used to be the 5 o’clock crew at crossfit. him and I. On days were we did long jumps to warm up, he’s do three to cross the entire floor and then look at me while i did my 2 foot frog hops.

  36. And – I suppose teresa could help us out. He’s not “brain dead”. It’s in a chronic vegetative state. There is no reason to believe, or not believe, that he won’t just wake up. But the longer it goes on, the chances probably becoming slimmer.

    I do not know how they tell the difference – the tests they gave Teresa’s daughter, etc. But apparently – there is a difference and they can tell … something.

    I’m not really a doctor. I just pretend like I know a LOT more than I really do on the internet.

  37. Twitter account for the Unplanned movie was suspended briefly today. Someone doesn’t like the prolife side being heard.

  38. So a guy goes to a dream office and says I need a MRI to evaluate a previously diagnosed RAA. Dr. Says can do, insurance company no problem, guy goes and gets Sooper deluxe with contrast full lower abdomen MRI. …

    Guy gets a call from Drs RN. “Dr says MRI results back, he didn’t say anything except he needs to see you in of asap. Schedule for next available appt a week later. Guy stews on this for a week, no big deal, more curious vs concerned.

    Guy goes to appt with better half in tow. Dr says “you have a fatty liver and cysts in your right kidney, gonna refer you to respective specialists. Guy says “ok, but what about the RAA?” Dr says “What RAA?” Guy says the RAA that I specifically came here to get checked, you know the one I wanted the MRI to check?” Dr says “the report doesn’t mention the RAA”

    Now, understand, what initiated all this is I got a letter from the previous vascular surgeon saying I had missed a scheduled MRI appt to check condition and needed to reschedule…..

    So now this guy is wondering where the disconnect in all this is..

  39. Dream office? What kinda fucked up auto crack shit is that?

  40. I was really expecting hotter nurses and/or secretaries with that opening line.

  41. Nope, border security isn’t a problem a all…..


  42. Gotta get Moose in training, Carin


    When Leon’s chicken project gets going…


  43. “mama johnnie”

    I’ve been tossing that one in my head all day and I’m not hearing “my vagina”. Not that I doubt PG, he speaks southern. I’ve studied southerners in their native environment before, watched assorted gun themed videos on YouTube and I’ve seen all the Smokey and the Bandit movies but it simply hasn’t hit me with an Aha moment yet.

    All that aside, I’m sure mama johnnie is (was?) a hoot

  44. Not even with MJ’s dick:


  45. Fowling is super fun.

  46. Jimbro, you have to say mama johnnie without moving your jaw one iota. And the final sylible is somewhere between a short e and a short u rather than a long e. Sorry I can’t write in phonetics.

  47. Mah Mahjony

  48. I do not know how they tell the difference – the tests they gave Teresa’s daughter, etc. But apparently – there is a difference and they can tell … something.

    If there is ANY brain activity, it will show up. Michelle wasn’t brain dead, but there was very little brain activity. When she was removed from life support, she only lived for 72 more minutes (she had already died, for all intents and purposes, before EMS showed up).

    A persistent vegetative state is trickier, and a person can remain in one for a very long time, provided they are receiving parenteral nutrition and hydration.

    Think Terry Schiavo (sorry).

  49. Mah Mahjoneh is closer

  50. I’m in hysterics trying to quietly say mama johnnie with a drawl. Paula is looking at me with a concerned look and asking questions. There’s simply no way I can tell the whole story without being carted away.

  51. Scott is close.

    Tell your wife you wanna party with her 102 year old mah mahzhjoneh.

  52. TTroy, I was worried about my kidney cysts, and the urologist told me that mine were no big deal; a lot of people have them but don’t know it until a scan is done for something else. Chances are, you have nothing to worry about 😊

  53. Mah mahzhjoneh

    The Knack recorded that in ’79.

  54. I’m watching Hanna: Bisexual Teenage Genetically Modified Assassin, on Amazon Prime. It’s ok so far.

  55. Co-worker recommended Jo Koy stand-up on Netflix. Very funny. Rayciss. From 2017, but pretty universal. Got a text from my Nina: Taking your mom to the ER, don’t worry. (They’ve transferred her to UNMH. Pepe knows what I’m talking about. Wee bit worried)

  56. Prayers for your mom, Osita.

  57. Mini-me and Mr. RFH are home. Mini-me won a 1st, a 3rd, and a 4th place, and the team overall won 2nd place in the state Science Olympiad.

    She is pleased that she passed Rocketboy in the career medal count.

  58. Watching Julia Child and Jacques Pepin’s cooking show. It’s awesome. Julia is one of a kind.

  59. Reminds me of the Reagan quote about liberals knowing so much that isn’t so.

  60. WooHoo Roamy. 🤓 Mini-me is amazing like her mama! (My mom shouldn’t have traveled. Shouldn’t have left Vegas. She was hiding her discomfort and the fact her tumor had started to fill up again. She wanted to come home. We find out manana, what the Drs can do for her on Monday).

  61. and so many idolize AOC. Wow.

  62. AOC is much loved by the credentialed educated class. I fear for future Americans. New Mexico will be hitting the wall of Californication/Ignorance in two years.

  63. Got to watch more of these older cooking shows. Already picked up 3 techniques.

    Beurre Manie is the best one. Google it!

  64. liberal areas tend to infect conservative ones. I wish it worked the other way.

  65. Our Catholics were always cultural and not really Catholic. Had dinner with my CIL Bobby last night. He’s invited us to stay with them and shoot guns and play with different cannons at his friends ranch. We’ve been with him at his friends place before. Shooting clay and paper targets. Friend has potato gun, catapult, and bowling ball cannon.

  66. Define electromagnetic radiation, please.

  67. Beurre Manie

    “my vagina”


  68. Rise n shine you lazy Lima beans!

    The son in law and I are heading to the store of happiness this morning. He wants to test drive a particular model Glock and Sig Sauer before purchase. I’m considering trading my full size XD 40 cal for a newer, slimmer version. I’m gonna give up some mag capacity, but seeing as I carry spare mag(s) anyway…

  69. https://www.saveur.com/article/Techniques/saveur-100-beurre-manie

    My favorite Julia Child episode was when she made pressed duck. I can’t find that particular episode on youtube and pbs charges money to watch any reruns of her but it was memorable


  70. I’m a fan of the XDm 9mm. Bedside table gun (in a safe of course).

  71. “Controversial ‘Abortion Reversal’ Regimen Is Put To The Test”


    I’ve never heard of this before. It seems to me that the opportunity to change someone’s mind needs o happen before the first pill is taken. Article is way to long but you can get the gist of it by reading the first few paragraphs

  72. wakey wakey.

  73. Ok, i’m serious – this is fun:

  74. You take turns to see which team knocks down the 10 pins. After a disastrous learning-curve round, I discovered I’m pretty good at it.

  75. Twice I knocked down the last single pin. Last round I actually got every pin for my team.

  76. We stopped at a pretty cool restaurant in RI yesterday, this was on their menu

    Bacon Fried Donut Sundae
    Candied maple bacon filled fried donuts served with ice cream sauced with cereal milk glaze finished with fruity pebble garnish.

  77. How many did you order and eat?

  78. I cringe every time Paula buys fruity pebbles for the boys. Dried on fruity pebbles adhere to bowls, sinks and spoons like a mussel on a rock.

  79. Twice I knocked down the last single pin. Last round I actually got every pin for my team.


    It’s because of the whole short hair/ Subaru thing. Probably great at softball too.

  80. 21 degrees here this morning. Luckily no wind so far.

  81. Actually, I usually suck at any sport that involves balls.

    /low hanging fruit alert

  82. Sporty Balls

  83. My sister just texted me this:

    I just ordered 2 Make America Great Again hats from Amazon. Hope I don’t get shot!!

    I laughed but it is bizarre lefties are so nuts you actually have to think about your safety.

  84. I have never seen a MAGA hat in the wild. Connecticut.

  85. I just read the ingredients for fruity pebbles.


    Rice, sugar and oil.

    You can probably heat your house with that stuff.

  86. I’m laughing so hard, read the comments too!


  87. that’s for sean

  88. emr=light

  89. Jam, how many bullwhips do you have shoved up your ass right now?

  90. Same question for Mare.

  91. 50 Hollywood stars sign a letter that they won’t do business in Georgia. Pedophile attacks drop 60%.

  92. HA! Good one, Romay.

    *punches Hotspur in the junk and by junk I mean face*

  93. I’m pretty sure Science on a Sunday is sacrilegious…..

  94. Ask you know who…. she loaned me a few from her collection

  95. Yeah, I want the red one back by Friday, MJ’s coming over.

  96. https://tinyurl.com/y3gp6lqg

  97. Do they serve beer at football bowling?

  98. Monkey-licking-turkey? Is this another one of Jimbro’s picture word games?

  99. Surprisingly yes, they do serve beer. I played it completely sober though. It was super fun.

  100. I’m not sure but I think it’s licking COCK

  101. Mom!!! JImbro is saying icky stuff!!

  102. ttroy, did you ask the doctor to have your scan looked over again, to check/confirm the RAA? Could it have been misread….now or before?

  103. Talking head on Fox News. I couldn’t tell you if he was Rep or Dem, I wasn’t paying that much attention, but I did notice how bland the background was with the exception of one book, prominently displayed rather than normally shelved. “Terrible Beauty” by Congressman Peter King, looks like it didn’t sell much and wasn’t liked.

    So the talking head was a suck up.

  104. beasnette is back from her trip. The ring looks proportional on her skinny monkey finger. If they decide against eloping, the set the date for October. (She’s traveling to Europe in June, her good friend is getting married in July, and our friend is getting married in September.

  105. They can tell us shit all day long, but the numbers regarding murder don’t lie. It ain’t white men.

  106. Daughter and I were looking at wedding dresses. I came across this one (not a consideration as I’m sure the price is wayyy out there) and said how lovely it was and that I’m sure you can close up that gap and make it a scoop neckline instead.

    Small chested daughter be like: ‘Yeah, I’m sure you can and I would because noone wants to be looking at my sternum.’



  107. Beasn’s daughter’s getting married. my good friend just found out another one of her kids is pregnant .


    Puppies. i guess I need a new puppy.

  108. I really should stop concentrating on this. Pay says I should concentrate my races and crossfit (I’m sure you guys would appreciate that). I guess I should also take comfort that my kids haven’t each had a flurry of childrens out of wedlock by various people.

  109. Give them time.

  110. And you can’t be 100% sure about the boys.

  111. Pretty dress, Beasn! I love the sheer fabric and lace.

    I had a sleeveless sweetheart neckline with sheer organza from the top of the bodice, out to long slim fitted sleeves. So it was a sleeveless effect, but with very sheer white fabric instead of actually bare skin.

    A line of hand- appliqued lace leaves and flowers across the bodice diagonally from one shoulder to just below the opposite sleeve. The rest of the dress was a flute of dupioni silk with a very subtle shimmer.

    Mom made it for me. She’s a bridal seamstress. The fabric by itself cost over $400. It was a knockout dress.


  112. I went over to a neighbor’s house today and helped her figure out some gardening stuff. She is a legal immigrant and got a crash course on our local conditions, hardiness, soil, plants etc. It was a lot of fun to help her identify things growing in her yard and what to do with certain problems.

  113. Small chested daughter be like: ‘Yeah, I’m sure you can and I would because noone wants to be looking at my sternum.’

    You could always see if the local plastic surgeons have a bridal registry.

  114. Plus the soil is so nice and soft right now this time of year, I was able to show her how to pull up a whole dandelion root and all, like a carrot. Fun! Which reminds me, I need to go dandelion hunting so I can set up a dandelion patch for Mom to eat.

  115. I guess I should also take comfort that my kids haven’t each had a flurry of childrens out of wedlock by various people.

    You should tell your boss that Erin is ready to wait tables.

  116. Whose turn is it to hit Colex in the neck with a cactus?

  117. Comment by lauraw on March 31, 2019 3:31 pm

    Pretty dress, Beasn! I love the sheer fabric and lace.

    I had a sleeveless sweetheart neckline with sheer organza from the top of the bodice, out to long slim fitted sleeves. So it was a sleeveless effect, but with very sheer white fabric instead of actually bare skin.

    A line of hand- appliqued lace leaves and flowers across the bodice diagonally from one shoulder to just below the opposite sleeve. The rest of the dress was a flute of dupioni silk with a very subtle shimmer.

    Mom made it for me. She’s a bridal seamstress. The fabric by itself cost over $400. It was a knockout dress.

    Reading that comment sent a twinge through my ovaries

  118. We have a H2 wedding to plan!!!! Squeeeee! Beasn, can we design the cake? Groom’s cake?

  119. Dan: Perfect day. We have NHL, MLB, GOLF, and March Madness. Too bad you have menstrual cramps and we can’t visit your mom at the hospital.

  120. Ugh, whatever happened to simple, plain flat front 100% cotton slacks?

    Everything nowadays is some shitty mix of cotton and polyester, with those stupid expanding waistbands that never fit me correctly.

  121. MA insisted on watching basketball. Auburn. We’re watching free baseball again. Stoopid dog.

  122. Welcome to my world, CoAl

  123. Now do shoes!

  124. I h8 trying to find dress shoes for work. My feet are just slightly too wide for regular width shoes, so I have to either buy them a size larger, or hunt around for an ugly pair of wides. Thank heavens for Zappos.

    I’m pretty sure some of my issues with my feet and lets stem from this as a kid. I underpronate, meaning that I’m constantly on the outside of my foot, and is probably part of the reason that I’ve rolled my ankle so many times and am constantly tripping.

  125. Also, it would be nice to find a pair of running shoes in normal, sane colors. Blue, white, gray, black… not neon green and orange.

  126. OMG we are team Zappos. Dan has narrow feet. I have wide. Zappos is amazing.

  127. Mrs. Pupster couldn’t find her purse in time.


    I’ve initiated a plan which keeps @$5 in change in strategic locations.

    Never again.

  128. Making pot roast for dinner.

  129. Pupster, be glad it wasn’t the margarita truck.

  130. I’d have stopped the margarita truck, believe me.

  131. wow, the wonders of Carolina.

  132. OMG tell me there is such a thing as the Margarita Truck. I can imagine all these 40-year-olds running up the street together all panicky, just like we did when we were kids. But this time we’re bringing billfolds instead of a handful of coins. And we need a minute to lie down on a stranger’s lawn to catch our breath before we can order.

  133. http://www.rastarita.com

  134. Comment by Hotspur on March 31, 2019 5:26 pm
    Making pot roast for dinner.


    Best comment ever!!!

    *thinks of Rosetta saying it to me 100 times…smiles*

  135. What melody does the Margarita Truck play over its annoying roof mounted loudspeaker?


  136. youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdgna3Yw

  137. youtube.com/watch?v=3H6amDbAwlY

  138. Favorite comment on that video – “I know all the words to this song.”

  139. Oh man those are both awesome. Let’s do this. East coast. Retirement communities. Money maker.

  140. *Imagining the Margarita Truck going down the street, raising a wake of geezers on electric scooters*

  141. I’ll see you one margarita truck and raise you a tamale tryke.

  142. youtube.com/watch?v=WiayZdPESno

  143. Bloody Marymobile

  144. GrubHub but with hookers and blow

  145. Old Fashioned Wagoned.

  146. Sean M is an Idea Man.

  147. Gin and Tonic Gyrocopter.

  148. I really want a tamale tryke.

  149. Heh, the new Dennis Miller special on Prime is funny.

  150. Reading that comment sent a twinge through my ovaries

    Best comment of the day!

  151. Sean M is an Idea Man.

    Elon Musk could hva thought of this and made it happen, but he got high.

  152. DuPont earns respectable profits.

  153. Sup?

  154. 15 min.

  155. That’s what your mom said.

    But I was finished in three anyway.

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