Weekend funnies

Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today.


*

True.

Wiser?

*

Y’all have a good day.

206 Comments

  1. Comment by Jimbro on March 23, 2019 9:18 am

    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/priest-stabbed-during-morning-mass-at-saint-joseph-s-oratory-1.5067335

    Nothing to see here folks, move along!

    No identification of the attacker in the article. Muzzie until proven otherwise.

  2. Nothing to see here folks, move along!

    No identification of the attacker in the article. Muzzie until proven otherwise.

    It’s Canada, they’ll prosecute anyone who talks. If forced to report it, CBC will translate the Arabic and never mention the attacker’s faith, just that he was “Quebecois”.

  3. How many Dems are running for President now? Round to the nearest hundred.

  4. None from Michigan. I should enter and use JFK’s platform.

  5. None from Michigan. I should enter and use JFK’s platform.

    So who gets to play the part of Marilyn Monroe??

  6. I think Spartacus is vegan.

  7. Nah, Spartacus likes the sausage on the down low.

  8. Heating oil delivery.

    Rowan is on FULL ALERT and concerned that I’m remaining calm

    Moose is afraid of big trucks so he hates the propane delivery.

  9. Thanks for poating Roamie.

    Having a new washer and dryer delivered today, possibly also my race car (Monster), although I distrust the car delivery drivers statement to Boy2 when he picked it up yesterday afternoon (“We’ll be there tomorrow”). Dude, it’s 19 hours with mountains.

  10. I’m stuck at work.

    AVENGE ME!

  11. I’m working too. Writing an API doc that someone else wrote a long time ago and the prime lost promptly when they got the contract.

  12. At least you’re home. I’m stuck in the office.

  13. I’m stuck with your mom.

  14. NTTIAWWT

  15. 19.5: 156

    “Crushed it”

    I think she’s happy

  16. I gotta get to stepping, dog grooming, bank, yard, garage, n antenna on the agenda….suns out, supposed to be fitty today.

  17. I got an email from a grad student in the same program that I went through, who’s applying for a job at my old company. He’s supposed to call today and get my advice.

  18. “Learn to weld”

  19. I have 4 antique wall clocks to pack.

    CLOCK

  20. Heh. I actually think that if he is in his mid-twenties the job would be great. Good pay, a chance for a lot of different experience, and you get paid to travel all over the world. The downside is that you live in Santa Barbara, paying $2300 a month for a studio apartment or living with three roommates somewhere in the crappy parts of town. But, if you’re young it’s a great chance to see the world, get some very good experience, and sock away savings for ten years or so and then get the hell out of Dodge.

  21. https://tinyurl.com/y5mtyaht

  22. Must go tile today. Pray for beasno.

  23. You need to listen to this very short video of John Brennan. FFS this guy was the head of our clandestine services? WTFF?? Two weeks ago:

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  24. When you listen to Comey and Brennan (not counting the countless other incompetent boobs) you can only conclude that politics and government only attract morons.

    I think there are some great people in the military but holy shit, there are also some real dipshits in high power in our armed forces.

  25. My husband and I OFTEN talk about how other than some specific medical specialties (Jimbro included) there really is no such thing as an expert. I could have done a better job than John Brennan as head of the CIA. Give me a task, the facts, the players, my parameters and I can make a solid decision as a leader. His comments can only lead me to believe he’s an idiot. At minimum not prudent. Or cautious. Or thoughtful (as in full of rational thoughts on a subject, the Special investigation in this example).

    My friend was in the ER for a broken arm. The doctor said, “there is no break.” It was killing her so she asked to look at the x-ray, she does then she asks, “what’s this line running down from here to here?” Doctor, “ah, that’s a fracture.”

    Well, okay then expert. I have thousands of examples of this kind of shit, NOT just doctors just people who are supposed to be experts or smart about a subject. Nope, just a fool getting paid.

  26. Who can eat an entire bag of dicks faster – Beto or Bernie? Discuss:

    ——–

    Beto.

  27. The one saving grace of social media is how it has utterly unmasked the ‘elites.’ We can see what dummies and nincompoops they are, no matter what the press tries to do to protect them. There is far less awe for public officials and ‘top men.’

  28. Who can eat an entire bag of dicks faster – Beto or Booker? Discuss:

    /fixt

  29. Exactly, If I honestly feel I can do better than so and so, that person is not a “top man.”

    Buckley was right, the first 100 people in the phone book would run things better than these a-holes in government.

  30. Well, then, Roamy, I might have to change my vote.

  31. The one saving grace of social media is how it has utterly unmasked the ‘elites.’ We can see what dummies and nincompoops they are, no matter what the press tries to do to protect them. There is far less awe for public officials and ‘top men.’

    Not just social media but Trump. I think Alexthechick refers to it as “The Great Unmasking”. It’s probably one of the biggest boons of Trump’s win: we’re finally seeing these people being honest about who they really are.

    Like I, and Leon and others, keep saying, Trump is the rectification of names. We’re seeing a huge realignment both here and abroad as people’s labels realign with their true feelings and behaviors. And there’s a demand that policies align with the promises that were made.

  32. Roamy is another good example too, I’m not going to do her job better than her, few will, it’s specialized and requires a particular expertise. Plus, Roamy gets shit done.

  33. Experts aren’t supposed to lead. A students work for B and C students. Experts should keep to their narrow areas of focus, and have to be ruthless in reminding themselves that knowledge can be deceiving; it’s easy to think that you know more than you actually do.

  34. The mayor of London says the next President cannot be Trump. Hey, failure, how about you STFU about who OUR President should be.

  35. I have had the misfortune to work with many givernment employees. The higher rungs are almost always occupied by mandarins. The mission comes long, long after a personal fiefdom, and if you are mission-focused, you either get passed over or forced out because mandarins don’t trust anyone who appears to actually care. Likely because they don’t believe it and assume the missionary is just good at hiding their true motives.

  36. My husband has often outperformed the experts. Patent attorneys for example.

  37. Well he’s right, Trump won’t be the next president. That’s going to be someone else.

    In 2025.

  38. Kahn is a muzzie cunt. As Leon says, “Conquered.”

  39. While on a bike ride today I was listening to a Dave Rubin podcast with Jocko Willink a former Navy Seal who writes books and talks professionally about leadership. The first half of the podcast was really good. Second half a little bogged down with politics. But the ending was great-discussing his books for children (He also has books for adults). Think I may get them all.

    Anyhoo, I liked his discussion on being a leader of a Seal platoon and Squadron. He sounds capable and like someone I could confidently follow into battle.

  40. The biggest difference I see in so called experts in medicine is between those who know they’re not always going to have the right answer versus those who know they’re always right. Practicing medicine has given me a sense of humility with the unknowable shit I encounter. And then there’s the things I know all about but rarely see and know someone else is far better to treat than me.

  41. I realized at about 20, that most people really don’t know what they’re doing.

  42. I know people are ripping on Maddow for crying over the Meuller report and they should but I have to say, I kind of felt like crying when I read that women in NZ were going to wear head covers for a day in solidarity with the muslims. I really wanted to cry when I heard that in response to a nut shooting people, New Zealanders are complying with semi auto confiscation. CONQUERED.

  43. I realized at about 20, that most people really don’t know what they’re doing.

    ——
    Huh, Pepe nailed it in one sentence.

  44. Most of life is just bullshitting your way through and hoping no one calls you out on it.

  45. Great story on the canal widening Pepe. I have heard all the elements of that story (dockworkers in CA making tons of money, canal widening, SUPERcontainerships) but that really tied it all together. We live in interesting times.

  46. 19.5: 156

    “Crushed it”

    I think she’s happy

    Good job. I’m waiting until Monday. I may scale teh stupid thing.

  47. 19.5: 156

    “Crushed it”

    I think she’s happy

    Good job. I’m waiting until Monday. I may scale teh stupid thing.

    I think we’ve only had women get to the 21’s. Men have finished at my gym, but no women.

  48. 171 and 178 are the two highest women’s scores at my gym(just checked). So that’s into the 15s.

  49. Only two guys have finished it (rx) so far. One at 19:42. I don’t know what they other guy’s time was.

  50. I’m going to get groceries. Can I get anybody anything?

  51. I just learned about chinese garlic.

    Gross.

    Laura just informed me that we will be garlic self sufficient in two years.

  52. I ended up cutting the loose skin from her blisters off when she got home. Despite some whining when I got near the viable skin she’s still happy.

    Grab another pack of band aids please

  53. https://theheartysoul.com/garlic-from-china-chinese-garlic/

    Huh, they managed to fuck up another food product

  54. I bought a sample pack of ‘Niawanda Park’ garlic bulbils (mini-bulbs, or topsets from the flower heads of hardneck garlic) and started them under lights. It looks like I will have a good crop of ’rounds’ – the precursor of the usual fistful of cloves- at the end of this Summer. Over a hundred of them. The biggest rounds will be replanted in Fall 2019 and harvested as mature fists in Summer 2020. From then on it will be the usual planting method of splitting up cloves every Fall.

    This process takes longer, but you eliminate the disease problems you can get from starting with cloves, and you get a lot more output in the same period of time for far less money.

    Maybe. We’ll see how it works out.

  55. I’ve been looking at pictures of repainted kitchen cabinets and getting ideas. I think I really like the look of slate-grey base cabs with bright white wall cabs.

    I also want to install new invisible hinges. That job looks to be somewhat of a pain in the ass but there are tips and tricks to it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StPI2wG3DKg

    Is there any way around getting a drill press for this job?

  56. Like I, and Leon and others, keep saying, Trump is the rectification of names.

    Who said it first?

  57. So, when I talked to Mrs. Pupster 24 hours ago, the movers had just left and she and the boys were cleaning the old house, then were going to start driving. I just got a text from her, “finished cleaning, we are going to get started driving now”.

    Apparently they were unaware of how much needed cleaned and how long it would take, and they collapsed on the floor and spent the night on bags of laundry and suitcases for beds.

    *moves reuniting time-table back by 1 day*

  58. I ended up cutting the loose skin from her blisters off when she got home. Despite some whining when I got near the viable skin she’s still happy.

    Yea, my stupid shoulder issue means I don’t really have to worry about tearing my hands open during 19.5.

  59. pparently they were unaware of how much needed cleaned and how long it would take, and they collapsed on the floor and spent the night on bags of laundry and suitcases for beds.

    ——-

    They are going to appreciate the new place! Are you renting a house, Pups? Did you buy? What area in NC?

  60. We should not be importing garlic, it’s insane that we permit it in at all. Kill the sugar tariff, put it on herbs. Kill the corn subsidy while we’re at it. Iowa and Indiana can grow garlic ffs.

  61. We should not be importing garlic, it’s insane that we permit it in at all. Kill the sugar tariff, put it on herbs. Kill the corn subsidy while we’re at it. Iowa and Indiana can grow garlic ffs.

    ——-

    ^^this^^

  62. Wonder how many tries this took

    https://tinyurl.com/yxr4rraz

  63. I think Pups said Charlotte.

  64. The Chinese can’t grow garlic without killing people, but somehow they’re going to be a military threat within the next decade. Sure.

    We should not be importing garlic, it’s insane that we permit it in at all. Kill the sugar tariff, put it on herbs. Kill the corn subsidy while we’re at it. Iowa and Indiana can grow garlic ffs.

    Uh oh, here comes Reason and the Von Mises Institute to tell you how you’re an evil statist oppressor.

  65. I’m watching the Braves-Mets spring training game. Glad this one doesn’t count (score is 12-1).

  66. Rich Anti-vaxxers supported by increasing amounts of third-world labor? What could possibly go wrong?

  67. Domestic alliums (and the jobs and higher prices that go with them) are of higher value than cheap poison pretending to be stinky vegetables. Hipster Fonzie can go eat tide pods.

  68. Well, phooey, I usually buy the pre-minced garlic. I thought it was from California.

  69. SW Charlotte Mare, Steele Creek area. We rented.

  70. Making spicy dirty rice for dinner, it’s like a cajun/chinese version of your mom.

  71. Making silan chicken (Israeli chicken marinated in date syrup), mac and cheese for the carb eaters, and salad.

  72. I have leftover pulled pork that needs to be used, so I’m going to make tacos again.

  73. Making silan chicken (Israeli chicken marinated in date syrup), mac and cheese for the carb eaters, and salad.

    ——-

    Roamy, stop trying to make me feel bad about my cooking.

  74. I am NOT anti-vaccine at all.

    But I have never had the flu and I haven’t had the shot in about 30 years as well as can be remembered.

    Should I get a flu shot every year? I really don’t know.

    I do travel a little (airplanes) and I do shop at Walmart a lot (hoo boy).

  75. If we don’t get a flu shot we have to wear a surgical mask for about 4 months out of the year. A few people opt out of it and dutifully wear the mask.

  76. Woo Hoo.

    * punches out *

    Guy on the radio claimed the peeled garlic is actually peeled by chinese prisoners. Dunno, but look what I discovered on google.

    https://tinyurl.com/y2o2ohzq

    * pictures 100’s of chinese prisoners shaking bowls of garlic *

  77. Last week I was trying to figure out how I would be able to wash my hands between pumping gas and eating dinner at a restaurant.

    Laura didn’t understand.

    So I tell her, “gas pump cooties”.

    We immediately decided that if we ever start a band, that will be the name of it.

  78. Last time I had the flu was after TITTS2, not sure what year that was, it had been at least 10 years since I had the flu before that. I don’t get a flu shot.

  79. “gas pump cooties”.

    https://tinyurl.com/yxglsyfx

  80. I’ve had knock down drag out flu once in recent memory. That had to be over 15 years ago. I mostly remember it from the timing of it. I used to do a clinic in a town an hour south of here and was scheduled to do it on the day it hit. I got up, felt off but figured a shower would make the world right. After taking a shower and getting dressed I had to lay back down in bed. Which is where I spent the next 2 days except for frequent bathroom trips.

  81. There’s dozens of different body wipes out there too. Most of them come in soft plastic containers. Look in the grocery store near the baby wipes or liquid soaps.

    *Now I’m getting the heebie jeebies about the great unwashed touching the gas pump handle after scratching their junk or picking their nose*

  82. I don’t question vaccines, but the pediatric schedule we administer them in infants on is way too aggressive of a schedule, and you aren’t even allowed to question or delay it in most pediatric practices.

  83. TITS2FLU was Feb 2016.

  84. Seems like longer, a lot has happened since.

    How are you doing, Xbrad?

  85. Good too see you xbrad. You were quiet this week and I wondered if your health was giving you trouble.

  86. Xbrad, what’s the blood pressure situation?

  87. Jeeze Mare, not so tight!

    https://tinyurl.com/y46ok87c

  88. well, gonna have to give up caffeine.

  89. I think TITSII was February of ‘15. HotBride and I got the flu as well. I think Cyn infected all of us.

    I’m making creamy cajun pasta for dinner for some friends.

  90. Mom died right after I got back. 2016.

  91. Mare, not so tight!

    Shes had two kids. Cut her some slack.

  92. Not so grande either, eh Pendejo?

  93. I like to constantly push my immune system to ever greater capabilities by never getting a flu short, or worrying about gas station cooties.

  94. Pendejo on March 23, 2019 at 7:24 pm
    Mare, not so tight!

    Shes had two kids. Cut her some slack.

    ——-

    Shut your whore mouth PD. One was a cesarean.

  95. Don’t restaurants have bathrooms, with sinks?

  96. Have you seen those sinks?

  97. I’m not washing my hands against the bottom of the sink.

  98. 🐎✌️

  99. A. My neighbor’s BIL is a longshoreman out in CA. She says he’s a democrat loving, lazy POS.

    ll. What did I miss about garlic and China?

  100. Union member, probably.

  101. Comment by Car in forgot her log I on March 23, 2019 8:12 pm
    I like to constantly push my immune system to ever greater capabilities by never getting a flu short, or worrying about gas station cooties.

    ——-

    I get Carin, I really get her.

  102. Beasnanansnssnsb, don’t buy garlic from China. Period!

    Also it’s called Celebration of Matrimony Without Mass.

  103. Since I quit smoking I haven’t been sick once, not even a cold.

    7+ years is a pretty good run.

  104. Jay, yes he is.

  105. Ooo, thanks mare. I gotta write that down.

  106. Scott, that is rather incredible.

  107. I haven’t checked but I’m betting the garlic at our grocery, just like any of the ginger root, is from China. I’ve been thinking of growing my own.

  108. We finished tiling the right side of the tub/shower, along with the problem spot. By the time we figured out how to do that problem area, it was one hour later and we were already snarling at each other. (I got irritated when I saw the trim he put in and ever single nail head was sticking out and I couldn’t ‘punch’ them in and then he tells me to just paint over them instead. Grrr.)

    A foot and half of tile took us a total of three hours. Wtf. Anyhoo, left side of the shower and the window wall needs to be tiled, and then grout.

  109. New rule- If your drywall makes us sick, we don’t import your food.

  110. Since I quit smoking I haven’t been sick once, not even a cold.

    7+ years is a pretty good run
    ******

    Wow. Way to tempt fate.

  111. One of my pet peeves is people that jam up the vestibule to wipe down their carts. If they were really serious, they would have their own wipes. I feel the same way about Amigo users. Oso’s Grampo’s funeral. Erica: Does anyone have…Connie, do you have hand sanitizer? Oso: Here you go.

  112. Gross.

  113. Had an allergic reaction at work. It was kind of funny. Benadryl took care of it. Member: Do you need my epi? Me: Do you know how expensive an epi pen is? I’m team Benadryl.

  114. https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  115. Mare, our local Congress Critter just took her first trip to the Middle East. Bitch was talking about ISIS blah blah blah. Oso: WTF is she talking about? We just finished off the ISIS guys in Syria that refused to surrender? Dan: Is she our Rep? Oso: Yeah. NM 1. Dan: She’s stupid. (My LIV is cute)

  116. Pepe, Big R in Bernalillo. We got a Smith & Wesson hammerless 38+P. They don’t snag in your pocket or purse. 38+P is pretty nice. Better than a 22. WalMart carries the ammo for 10$ less than Big R.

  117. Cool, Oso. Solid choice.

  118. Gonna be pretty snappy out of a short barrel.

  119. We can’t use regular 38. I need some range time to get used to a smaller than 357 that Dan employs

  120. Silan chicken was good, but I know how to make it better next time. I did marinated chicken breasts cut into bite-size pieces so it would cook quickly. Dinner was after Mass, and we didn’t get home until 7:20. Next time, either marinated drumsticks cooked on the grill, or chicken wings cooked the usual way, then tossed with the marinade mix.

    Rocketboy ate dinner with us then went back to his house. That was kind of weird, thinking that this is not home for him any more.

  121. silan chicken sounds like it would be pretty sweet

  122. Is The Meg any good, oso? Coming up on HBO

  123. It is stupid. Funny stupid. We MST3Kd it. I was originally afraid. We went full Tom Servo.

  124. Please tell me Jason Statham and Dwight Schrute have a fight.

  125. Doing embroidery requires patience.

  126. Doesn’t *everything* require patience?

  127. Oh, insomnia. How I haven’t missed you.

  128. Comment by lauraw on March 24, 2019 6:48 am
    Oh, insomnia. How I haven’t missed you.

    ———

    My sleep is a series of being too hot and throwing off the covers then too cold and frantically pulling the covers up. A series of at least 6-8 of this pattern a night. My best sleep is from about 3-6am.

    Some sleep expert I heard on a podcast said the best sleep is between the hours of 10pm and 2am.

  129. Mississippi pot roast in the crockpot for dinner!

    8 hours on low. I haven’t made potatoes in the crockpot for a long time, should I put the quartered potatoes in an hour before serving or longer?

  130. And by best sleep, he was referring to the most regenerative.

  131. Maybe an hour or a little bit longer. If they’re quartered they’ll cook up fast

  132. We can’t use regular 38.

    Why? I’d think a regular diet of +P would be harmful, maybe use regular 38 for the range?

  133. My best sleep is between 9:30 and 1-2 AM. After a late night trip to drain my bladder it’s a 50-50 proposition if I’ll get back to a deep sleep. In an ironic twist of fate, sleep comes easier if I don’t have anything big planned for the day. Big day ahead? Well, it’s prime time to cogitate about everything from the kid you insulted back in HS who’s now a politician or the tough case you have scheduled.

  134. Or get a 357 and train with 38 and 38+P rounds. When and if you want to try 357 there’s no need for a new pistola

  135. I bought a couple of air mattresses to sleep on while we wait for our stuff, last night was my first night sleeping on one…not too bad. Better than the futon.

    You and I are simpatico on the sleep stuff, Jimbro.

  136. Thanks, Jimbro.

  137. Well, it’s prime time to cogitate about everything from the kid you insulted back in HS who’s now a politician or the tough case you have scheduled.


    HA!

  138. 72 degrees in Charlotte today. Nice, Pups.

  139. Happy birthday, Sean!

  140. Really?? I get fooled a lot on this deal but I want to wish Sean a very happy birthday!!!

  141. https://tinyurl.com/y592h4rh

  142. https://tinyurl.com/y525kfjf

  143. https://tinyurl.com/y35v35fj

  144. Happy Birthday Sean, I got you one of these.

    https://tinyurl.com/y6t7no2m

  145. Picked up a shift today. I’m pretty sure I’m going to hate everyone at the restaurant today.

  146. Happy birthday sean!

  147. Mornin’ Horde. All I know is CPAP + sleep blindfold + adjustable bed = good sleep. And finishing that equation has done me much good.

  148. Allergy meds to shrink my sinuses so I can breathe help a lot. Now I just need to buy a new mattress.

  149. Happy B’Day, Sean!

  150. Happy birthday, Sean! 😊🎉💕

  151. Happy birthday shaun shawn sean.

  152. I loved my sleeping mask while it was effective. But after a while, apparently my sleeping self learned how to scrape it off my face. Now I use it to cover the bright numbers on my alarm clock, because any light in the room interrupts my sleep.

    And I shove my robe under the door to stop the light from the hallway. And Scott blacked out the windows with cardboard behind the blinds. And the white noise machine is on.

    That works most of the time pretty darn good. I’ve been sleeping great lately. It just so happens last night I had something alarming to think about, so, Brain decided to wake up and chew on it for a while.

  153. Boy2’s battle plan:

    https://tinyurl.com/y2jrxn46

  154. Lauraw?

  155. accurate

  156. I’m the opposite. I fall asleep easier if there’s light on.

  157. Happy B’day Sean! And I meant Hostages. Geez I can’t keep my greetings straight.

  158. Pretty sure the alarm clock doesn’t have sleep apnea, laura.

    *done helping

  159. Happy birthday, sean. I’d congratulate you on your non-existent demise for the period of time that the earth takes to circumnavigate the sun, but that was taken.

  160. Yeah man, for some reason I can have a splendid short nap in the middle of the afternoon in the bright sunlit living room. But at night everything MUST be dark or it’s not hap’nin.

  161. The worst, or best depending on your point of view, is when I fall asleep for a short nap, wake up a couple hours later, and everything is just the perfect balance of warm bed beneath me and slightly chilly room, and I end up sleeping for about eight hours.

  162. A professor at Drake University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

    About 90 students raise their hands.

    “Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”

    About 40 students raise their hands.

    “That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

    About 15 students raise their hand.

    “Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

    Three students raise their hands.

    “That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever had sex with a ghost?”

    Way in the back, Pendejo G raises his hand.

    The professor takes off his glasses and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have sex with a ghost You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

    PG replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, PG, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

    PG replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.

  163. I can’t stand room darkening shades. Hate a super dark room…unless I have a bad headache. Mr. B, on the other hand is a lot like lauraw. Total blackout or he can’t sleep.

  164. Poor goats.

  165. Happy Derpday Sean

  166. That’s a bah-hah-hah-haaad joke.

    I have actually stepped foot on Drake University’s campus though.

  167. It’s in a really nice neighborhood, isn’t it PG?

  168. Day 2 of re-keto. I made homemade mayo this morning. Yummy.

    My macros are 20-80-100 but I haven’t been doing much measuring or cipherin’ yet. Mostly just cooking stuff ahead and lining it up so I won’t slip and fall into a bag of chips by accident.

  169. fall into a bag of chips by accident.

    mmmmm, delicious accident

  170. I’m making black beans and chorizo for dinner. Mmm mmm mmm…It’s double racist.

  171. Now that Mueller has shit out his nothingburger report, who is Cankles going to blame now?

  172. Hotspur, anybody and everybody but herself.

  173. Seeing as how cankles was mostly behind the whole investigation bullshit, (besides all the thugs using it as cover for the crimes they committed) they’ll pivot to ‘inconclusive’ (which I heard mentioned several times when they broke into golf) = hiding something, Barr is a stooge, GUILTY!!!

  174. But they can’t discredit Mueller because he was the guy the dems wanted. They can’t continue to call firing Comey obstruction because they wanted him fired to begin with. All they’re left with is Orange Man Bad, which won’t be a winning strategy in 2020.

  175. Hey Lauraw, do you wear scrubs at work?

    https://tinyurl.com/No-reason-just-wondering

  176. Nice day here today. I picked up a lot of beer tree saplings out of the woods. Then work. Not home again. Pay fixed Moose’s invisible fence, and then we had a friend (st bernard) come over. Taller than moose, but Moose’s body is bigger. Pupper didn’t really know how to play – apparently they never take him out. Moose tried everything, but the dog just … couldn’t.

  177. At least they didn’t tussle

  178. Heh, Elliot thinks he’s the biggest dog on the block. On Friday, he met an Irish Wolfhound. That dog’s head was as big as Elliot. Entertaining.

  179. My earliest doggy memories are of a Irish wolfhound named Ulysses. My grandmother flew him over from Ireland. When he passed, she had a female flown over, her name was Una. Both were humongous, good natured, loyal, and protective. We’d take Ulysses for a walk and nobody would even think of effing around.

  180. When they howl you can hear it a mile away.

    We had one up the street and he always answered to sirens.

    AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

  181. Monster is back in my garage. Car transport guy was tweaking hard, shakey and scattered, couldn’t hold a conversation with him at all. It is a wonder he is able to keep a commercial transport license. He lives a couple of hours away in SC, I’m guessing he hasn’t slept in days.

  182. bought a shirt I can’t return. It fits fine, except the short sleeves are too small. Any way I can fix this?

  183. Pupster, regular 38 not recommended. Probably a scam. The gun is so darn cute though, before it gets lost in the Rio.

  184. J’ames, please do not Joe Dirt the shirt by cutting off the sleeves. Pretend to be Bruce Banner is better than going full redneck.

  185. Wear them as shorts for a couple of days.

  186. Thank you for the birthday wishes, you guys. I’ve been having a great day. If you could spare a prayer for my mom, this is a hard day for her since my birthday was also their wedding anniversary.

  187. ” It is a wonder he is able to keep a commercial transport license.”

    You’ve become uppity since moving to NC.

  188. Prayers for your mom, Sean. Did you guys visit with flowers today?

  189. bought a shirt I can’t return. It fits fine, except the short sleeves are too small. Any way I can fix this?

    Cut the sleeves off and grow a mullet.

  190. I went up by myself after my meeting this morning, oso. Cleaned up around the stone and gave the flowers I left last week some fresh water. My brother took her up this afternoon around the time I was going to work.

  191. You’ve become uppity since moving to NC.

    I don’t mean to be, but the dude made me nervous being in the house with me at 0 mph. No way he is safe behind the wheel of a commercial car hauler at 75.

  192. “If you could spare a prayer for my mom, this is a hard day for her since my birthday was also their wedding anniversary.”

    ========

    Wow, the wedding sounds suspenseful, what with her 9 months pregnant and all. Was the reception at the hospital?

    Just kidding, prayers out for your mom.

  193. Heh. Third anniversary, Peps.

  194. And thank you.

  195. I thought the third anniversary gift was supposed to be leather?

  196. Does a foreskin count as leather?

  197. Sean, for my reaction to that joke, look at the little girl in the header pic.

    And Happy Birthday, you scamp.

  198. Couldn’t help myself, laura. Thank you.

  199. Delighted, everyone! Really pleased!

  200. “If each one of those faith communities received, if they made the commitment to receive 20 refugees per week, just per week, that would allow us to receive 8,000 refugees per week,” said Garcia.
    ******************
    From Dec. 21 to March 20, ICE released more than 100,000 people into the U.S., reported the Fox affiliate in San Diego.

    https://www.foxnews.com/us/nearly-2000-immigrants-to-be-released-in-texas-from-federal-custody-this-weekend-report-says

    How about we don’t let them in in the first place?!?!?


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