Dead Woodchuck Sighting

So Spring is finally here I think. I saw a dead woodchuck on the side of the road, the robins are chirping in the back yard, and i saw an eagle flying around with a large bunch of nesting material or a small child not sure which – maybe both; so Spring.


J’Ames is getting ready to head souf i think.

Pupster cheated and moved in order to catch a spring ball game early.

Laura doesn’t care – it’s spring when she says it is.

Ca’rin can clean her jerks outside now.

and then there’s:

and mare-zee-dotes.

i assume jewstin is celebrating.

XB the chicago years.

Spring driving in the north country is always fun – it’s shovel ready.

just a couple more weeks till opening day of trout season – i’ll bet youse’ll’z can’t wait…


  1. Won’t be long now. Snow is gradually receding from the yard and I’m less focused on the weather report. TV guy says we’ve gained 3 hours 15 minutes of day light since the winter equinox. Almost time to dust out my umbilicus for display.

  2. this one’s for the ladies:
    j’imes submitted it for your review.
    and i’m too lazy to update the poatation

  3. That dude has a potato tattoo on his arm. Must like spuds.

  4. Huh, soon after my “Won’t be long now” comment I heard the local weather dude saying Friday’s rain might become a Nor’easter instead. WU still says temps in the 40’s and rain. I think he’s just looking for ratings from anxious weather watchers.

    What a frickin’ bastahd!

  5. We’re still good for a couple more hits with a better than even chance at 7 plus inches in April.

  6. Winter… equinox!?

  7. That dude has a potato tattoo on his arm. Must like spuds.

    That’s a baby’s/child’s foot. I pray he hasn’t lost a child.

  8. wakey wakey

  9. Dead Woodchuck Sighting was my band’s name in college.

  10. My fucking Crepe Myrtles have not bloomed yet so it’s not spring yet.

  11. Good morning, deplorables. Whose turn is it to leave a dead deer in Carin’s driveway?

  12. I miss my dogwood. We’d have flowers in a couple of weeks if I still had it.

  13. I think the best planting time for small trees in your latitude should be in the first two weeks of April, Leon. Call some nurseries and see if they have any dogwoods you can pick up then. Do Northern Magnolias grow in your neck of the woods? Those are great Spring trees too. Makes your heart happy to see them and beautifies your property.

    Redbuds…cherries…flowering crab….

  14. Magnolias can be tricky up here. Have to be close to the house, and they don’t get very big.

  15. It’s 22 degrees out right now.

    Not. Spring.

  16. Our weeping cherry is very old and on its way out, coming down in big rotten chunks. When I moved here 20 years ago it was very mature but still huge and gorgeous, the biggest weeping cherry I had ever seen. There was an old guy who came by every year to take pictures of it in bloom.

    Between that and the flowering crabs, Spring trees have been a real enhancement to our property. Too bad they’re all dying. We should have planted replacements years ago, but back then I didn’t really know that fruit trees had a short lifespan.

  17. I wonder how much longer my pear trees have, then. The male looked pretty sickly last year.

  18. A good severe pruning in late Winter can keep a tree alive longer. Pollarding is especially rejuvenating.

  19. Both pear trees are absurdly tall, no one appears to have pruned them in ten years. I’d have had to do that a month or two ago.

  20. I coppiced a bunch of beech trees at the old place that should look like bushes about now, plenty for a wattle fence.

    No one will care.

  21. One last night in the low 20s. March will start entering the ‘lamb’ phase soon. I’ll be able to move hardy & semi hardy plants from the cellar lights into the porch for hardening off starting tomorrow night. We’ll still have a smattering of hard frosts here and there but the artichokes should be safe in the greenhouse. The flats of hardy greens out there will be sprouting soon. In about three weeks they will get plugged into the garden.

    Oh, it’s Spring. Still cold as your mom’s big fake saline-filled-and-tatted boobs, but it’s Spring.

  22. Do it next Winter then. They’re not going anywhere.

    I have two plum whips and two pear whips coming in a week or two.

    *runs around in circles*

  23. 20’s last night here, too.

  24. It is NOT spring. Not here. The Lion/lamb stuff usually applies better to april here in Mi.

  25. How’s the reunion exercise program coming, Leon?

  26. Agreed. Spring doesn’t really happen until the first dandelion, IMO. Our springs are just very short.

  27. I missed all last week, Pepe. I tore a callus down to the dermis and couldn’t lift. Planning to start again today.

  28. hey pepe, the cuatro is getting pretty hard to flip open. Tried a little WD40, but was wondering if there was anything I should do differently.

  29. My new running shoes arrived yesterday but I was so tired that I was in bed by 8:30 pm. Tonight will be squats, bench, row, and a short run.

  30. Probably just dirty, J’Ames. Try blowing it out with compressed air, then add some lube.

  31. Rem Oil after cleaning with acetone and a q-tip.

  32. qtip isn’t going to fit where the hinge is. Have to figure out how to clean that out.

  33. i see Break Free CLP listed on CRKT site. I see that and Hoppes on Amazon. I know Hoppes.

  34. The compressed air Pepe mentioned might be your best bet.

    I was informed that I have a bonus coming after putting out a dumpster fire last Friday, so I bought myself a k-bar for yard carry.

  35. Bumpy start to the morning. Forgot I have a MRI with contrast at noon. Had to stop back at house and get track pants and sneakers, then my son had ran most of the fuel out of car last night….so back to the store to fuel up (noticed that as I was exiting car at home) so now running late. Right now I’m fighting with a HP printer that is connected by a USB from one station but is also accessed wireless from others… it wont print attachments in outlook. It’ll print the email but when I open the attachment and tell it to print (in this case in excel) it throws a print error. Save attachment to desk top, close outlook, same result. Bout to shoot this motherfucker.

  36. Try blowing it out with compressed air, then add some lube.

    Your mom is getting to be more trouble than she’s worth.

  37. HEY OOOOO! ha ha ha haa good one

  38. Lauraw, I think you did the decluttering with Marie Kondo, how did you deal with all the little things that are all over the place? Not nic nacks, small items that I can’t seem to find a place for except boxes wherein they are all crammed.

  39. Is it stuff you use?

  40. What is it? Like extra computer wires and chargers, small hardware, stuff like that? Or are you talking about mementos?

  41. All those old sex toys? You’re gonna check your municipality calendar for when the HazMat days are at the transfer station.

  42. Is it that bag of hobo pinkies? I told you not to collect that shit. Easy to take, hard to get rid of. DNA. But nooooo, don’t listen to Laura…what does she know…

  43. Is it that box of bathing suits from your fat phase? Sell them to the circus, they always need tents.

  44. Is it all those nail clippings you’ve been saving for ‘a rainy day’ all these years?

  45. Im puter genius! I ‘fixed” the problem. It only involved a wee bit of breakage..

    If yer one of those people that hasnt de-cluttered….does that make you a CLUT? asking for a friend. I wont name names but her intitals are M A R E.

  46. Mare, nobody is going to pay you for those, no, not even if you get famous.

  47. Mementos.

  48. I have the computer wires, cables, bullshit organized. All note pads and booklets my girls gave me organized to be used until gone! Stuff that had a cover that said, “World’s Greatest Mom.” *cough*

    The mementos that the girls gave me is the hardest part. But I think I got rid of stuff they would laugh about and kept the rest in an organized fashion in a photo box, labeled in my closet.

  49. If you haven’t done the first several parts of decluttering, do them first before you deal with mementos. It makes it a lot easier.

  50. Fat phase shit is GONE. I was brutal so I can’t gain a pound (just kidding) but anything over 10 and I’m fooked.

    Throwing out XL and L items and putting in their place mediums is a good fricken feeling. I still have some large but they are small larges. *cough*

  51. I can see why c ar in hates you neigh sayers

  52. Teens to twenties in the mornings here but warms rapidly into the thirties.

  53. Spring bishes.

  54. But basically, what you do with an old memento that you’ve been carting around and not doing anything with for years, is you look at it one last time and then throw it away.

  55. I’m actually fairly organized. I’m not a shoe person or a purse person or a clothes person or a nic nack person. I am a person who finds it hard to get rid of anything my kids gave me. But I’ve told them repeatedly “don’t ever worry about keeping stuff I’ve given you because I don’t mind if you just don’t have room or don’t want it anymore.”

    My biggest nightmare is organizing a closet near the kitchen that houses platters, serving dishes, candles, vases, batteries, cocktail napkins (which I have a shitton of) different colored place mats, cloth napkins, less used baking and cooking items (two large baskets full of them).

    But I have ordered a couple of deals from Amazon arriving tomorrow that will help me store platters and what not. They should help immensely.

  56. The swamp maples are starting to look gravid at the tips.

  57. Comment by lauraw on March 19, 2019 12:17 pm
    But basically, what you do with an old memento that you’ve been carting around and not doing anything with for years, is you look at it one last time and then throw it away.


    I know you are right. GULP. I have boxes of the stuff. But I will do it!!

  58. Ours too, Jam. Rosy and plump. We have a triple-trunk swamp maple that is about 120′ tall. I wish I could collect some of those tips for forcing into bloom indoors. But there are no low branches.

  59. I went into a neighbor’s house the other day, a very nice, very gay man (always wearing a rainbow shirt and took the hair off a wood mermaid decoration to make it a merMAN, then hung it at his outside entrance, and has = signs on his car, door and bike, he use to be in the Navy-heh).

    Anyhoo, his condo was a bit of a jumbled mash of furniture, horrible dark drapes and stuff covering a majority of every surface. When I walked back into my place it was a good feeling of space and tidiness.


    (But hey, buddy, dial it down with your lifestyle advertising)

  61. This would be me


  62. I see nothing wrong with keeping a box or two of old momentos. A room full? no. But not everything is worthy of a shadow box, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bring you joy.

    It’s really just a matter of not having so many boxes you never look in any of them. I have maybe four or five. Probably less. SOme are just boxes of pictures.

  63. I think Kondo’s approach is a bit too minimal, but her ideas aren’t bad.

  64. Fat phase shit is GONE. I was brutal so I can’t gain a pound (just kidding) but anything over 10 and I’m fooked.

    I did this. Got rid of every pair of pants with a waist larger than 32″ so I had no choice but to maintain.

  65. To be fair, only mare is a neigh sayer.

  66. Had another one of those meetings where the customer — who isn’t even supposed to be there, but insists — dominated 22 minutes of a 10-minute daily status call.

    It’s not too late to learn a trade.

  67. *gets rid of H2 picture tab

    Just decluttering!

  68. Instant Pot Pastrami

  69. Word, laura, ditched a lot of shit when I left the old house for the last time. Two years…feels like forever.

    Spring in Alabama, when the trees jizz all over everything, turning vehicles of all paint yellow and putting us all in allergy hell. This is why I like fall better. Stupid pine trees.

  70. Pine pollen season happens in June here. April-Maple, May-Oak, June-Pine.

    Scott HATES May in certain old Oak-infested neighborhoods.

  71. Cottonwood, mimosa, cedar, and pecan trees are the pollen producers in our neck of the woods. And juniper, aka “Mountain Cedar”.

    Mimosa pollen isn’t an allergen so much as it is the bane of cars’ paint jobs.

  72. Comment by leoncaruthers on March 19, 2019 1:29 pm
    Had another one of those meetings where the customer — who isn’t even supposed to be there, but insists — dominated 22 minutes of a 10-minute daily status call.

    It’s not too late to learn a trade.

    I’m tempted every day.

    I keep hanging on by dreaming of buying an inexpensive piece of land, building a workshop, and selling handcrafted wood and iron furniture.

    Either that or meth.

  73. I’m going to try and get to a brain tanning workshop so I can make fleeces and possibly vellum. Meth would be too easy and I couldn’t live with myself.

    I mostly hang on by checking my accelerated amortization table. The retention bonus I’m expecting next year is a big incentive to stick it out at least until then, and that should get me most of the way to replacing the F-150, which is sure to be at EoL by then.

  74. I’m going to try and get to a brain tanning workshop so I can make fleeces and possibly vellum.

    Don’t do it, it’s a gateway to the SCA!

  75. No thanks, I’m not a swinger.

  76. I like to joke that Tandy Leather Company is kept in business by the SCA and S&M communities, but there’s a lot of overlap so their customer base is still small…

  77. TiFW, cedars wear my wife’s ass out. I’m very lucky in the allergy department.

  78. Oh, I can’t throw everything away. Nope. Too many very sweet things. And the cards, the stuff my girls wrote to me was precious. Shit, if/when I’m in prison they will get me through the food, the other scuzzy inmates and the prison rape.

  79. I got so much crap thrown away, bagged for Goodwill and organized that I feel superior to most humans right now.

    Now, tomorrow when I tackle that closet with the platters etc., I’ll be brought down to size and humbled and frustrated and whatnot.

  80. Prison rape isn’t rape-rape.

  81. Cool freaky link Pepe

  82. We’re still good for a couple more hits with a better than even chance at 7 plus inches in April.

    That’s what your mom calls a Tuesday evening.

  83. I used to drive to Georgia, for a week, every spring. So much pollen – most likely pine – that I’d feel sick the entire time. I’d start feeling better around Kentucky, on the way home.

    Getting ready for spring pollen stomach upset, here. Trees are budding up. Ash is one that does a number on me and we have two in the yard. City planted them the spring after we moved in. But no worries, another year or two and the ash borer should have them dead. (City said the borer started hitting hard about a year or two ago.)

  84. Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, but about how many times you get up.

    Cop: That’s not how field sobriety tests work.

  85. It’s not about how many times you fall, but about how many times you get up.

    I’ve heard that from at least 2 confessors, so that cop doesn’t know shit.

  86. Cedars are fixing to start exploding with pollen and causing grief here. 2 years ago I’d watch as the sun came up and hit the trees. They would shake and clouds of pollen would rise. The canyon above the house looked like there was fog or a forest fire it was so thick.

  87. It’s about falling on the right sized potatoes.

  88. Comment by Pendejo on March 19, 2019 4:52 pm
    It’s about falling on the right sized potatoes.


    I don’t know what this means but it sounds dirty so, okay.

  89. They are telling me my liver functions are high my AST was 88 (high is considered 37) and my ALT was 133 (high is considered 66) they call and tell me they want another test in a month. Me: No Prob. They call again Friday, but I ignore them cause Friday…they call again yesterday and I ignore them cause monday. They call again today… we add “yer potassium is too high) I’m at 5.4 and high is considered 5.0. Gonna get new test tomorrow morning.

    So yay me….you guys got any spare livers laying around? Maybe a Kidney?

  90. Damn, Troy. You take care of yourself, do what they tell you and be religious about it. We’ve had enough sickness and death around here. It would be great to have a “I’ve really turned my health around” kind of deal.

  91. I purchased an inflatable (hand pump) lumbar support thingy for my truck seat.

    It kicks ass. Well worth the $30.

    Memory foam seat cover arrives tomorrow.

    *breaks into song*

    memory foam seat covers in my mailbox make me happy……….

  92. Appears as Im going to have to curtail the mailbox festivities at my place in lieu of tires. Four to be precise, cheapest I can go is projected to be 314.00 (yes, I am a cheap sumbitch)

    Do you know how much mailbox happiness you can buy with 314.00? ALOT. enough to last me a week or so… son is lining up to hit me for 500.00 towards repairing (what I now refer too as) that piece of shit Subaru of his. That money I will get back when his tax refund arrives. Im hoping to sneak some happiness in then…

  93. First day at new jerb was enlightening.

    Busy branch office, strapped for qualified workers with more work than they can handle, chasing every chance to get moar work. I’ve seen this movie. I like everybody I’ve met.

  94. HUZZAH!! Pups!!

  95. Carolina BBQ doggo!

  96. TTroy, what Mare said – take care of yourself and do what your doctor tells you to do!

  97. I know most of you aren’t on FB. I posted a pic of NM posole. My mom keeps tagging me. First with a menudo recipe. 2nd telling me how to eat hogs feet. Neither one is ever going to happen. I got my bros GF to create my mom’s account so she could look at pictures. I will never eat menudo.

  98. Back in the day, tripe had to be washed by hand. My mom hated washing tripe. I was able to avoid menudo for the most part. Fast forward. Pre-washed tripe. I still H8 menudo.

  99. o yay me….you guys got any spare livers laying around? Maybe a Kidney?

    sorry. Tapped out.

  100. I will never eat menudo.

    You didn’t want a taste even when you were younger?

  101. Ha! I don’t even know if PR even has Menudo that isn’t a boy group being sexually abused by their fat manager. Menudo is gross. Shark fin soup gross.

  102. mmm, soup. How about some pastrami soup? Kinda like hot dog soup, but better.

  103. We just had leftover corned beef with green chile tacos.

  104. I H8 soup.

  105. *looks up causes of high liver function levels*

    Over-the-counter pain medications, particularly acetaminophen (Tylenol, others).
    Certain prescription medications, including statin drugs used to control cholesterol.
    Drinking alcohol.
    Heart failure.
    Hepatitis A.
    Hepatitis B.
    Hepatitis C.
    Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease.

    High potassium can be related to liver disease.

    Figure it out man and git those numbers down.

  106. That name, though……

  107. I think Mare farted.

  108. Either that or she’s been eating chinches and drinking bed bug juice.

  109. Sorry Pups, I picked OSU out in the first round.

  110. Nope
    Nope 5’9 175lbs

  111. Was freezing this morning, but went up to 78 by 1430.
    Hottest Mar 19th in 125 years…

  112. Will you get flooding from snow melt, ChrisP?

  113. No flooding where I live, on the top of the Orting Valley. The water would have to get a couple hundred feet over flood stage. The folks *in* the valley, fuck ’em, that was primo farm land that the developers paved and covered with cracker-box houses. That valley was carved by a lahar from Mt Rainier. There is no way out for them if it happens again…

  114. Devin eventually respected Pedro.

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