Simple + Machine = Simple Machine

I remember reading about simple machines back in elementary school. Probably read it in an encyclopedia one day. Yeah, pre-internet, pre-video games we lived a boring life. Our parents bought the World Book Encyclopedia and we actually used it since going to the library was a pain in the ass when you didn’t have a car. Or driver’s license for that matter. This quote always puzzled me as a kid


There are six simple machines, including the lever, the wheel and axle, the inclined plane, the wedge, the screw and the pulley.




Inclined Plane


Screw (no gif available)


There’s a lot of physics and math and shiznit ( )that can be used to quantify a simple machine. Spoiler alert: I’m not even gonna try to remember that math. Back in the indie rock days, just after grunge was a thing and MJ graduated pre-K, there was a record company called Simple Machines. It folded some time in the 90’s which is how that stuff is supposed to work. Creative destruction of youth giving way to the realities of adult responsibility. All you engineer types can set us straight on how the simple machines are used in everyday life.  Sayonara 





  2. you know who likes a big lever

  3. Good morning. I’m in the parking lot dawdling before work.


  4. Your mom loves a good dawdle

  5. 5 degrees which is warmer than yesterday but feels more chilly in the house. Time to burn some logs

  6. Technically, a screw is just another form of inclined plane.

  7. wakey wakey

  8. I don’t believe in lap seat babies. Pay for a seat. Use the car seat/toddler seat.

    I thought you didn’t want to listen to a baby crying the entire flight? Nursing a baby during take off and landing helps relieve the pressure on their ears too. If the baby isn’t going to be in the seat, they should have to pay for it. /just saying.

  9. I learned this shit in kindergarten. Today’s kollege indoctrinees would stare blankly, maybe respond “wait, wut”.

  10. Knowing this would demean them, Cavil, as it is part of the skillset utilized by manual laborers and serfs.

  11. I had a principal/teacher in high school who firmly believed nobody should be allowed to operate anything that they did not have an understanding of how it worked. The older I get, the wiser I know that man to have been. I wonder if he would have extended that to things like voting or policy.

  12. Technically, a screw is just another form of inclined plane


  13. Basically every joint in the human body is a class three lever which puts us lanky guys at a disadvantage when it comes to moving weight around.

  14. WordPress is being a bitch

  15. 3rd class, that means better, right?

  16. Well, it’s better than steerage.

  17. If they hand you an oar as you board, you may want to consider upgrading next time.

  18. I travel business class, I can’t upgrade without mucking up my reimbursement.

    *takes oar*

  19. This is what happens when you fly Crossfit Airlines.

  20. They have the lowest rates, and we ultimately bill the gubmint. I don’t get the same travel expense account afforded to our betters like congresswymynn Bro-fo Omar and Rancid Tlabia.

  21. I’m only bristling about it because of my white fragility, though.

  22. They have the lowest rates, and we ultimately bill the gubmint. I don’t get the same travel expense account afforded to our betters like congresswymynn Bro-fo Omar and Rancid Tlabia.

    The HR and contracting folks who make these agreements and policies should be required to take an 8 hour flight somewhere and back the next day once per quarter, just so they can be as miserable as they make the rest of us.

  23. Couldn’t pay me to fly these days. Done it once in the past 20 years and that was more than 15 years ago. I was already unhappy with the experience well before 9/11.

  24. I am also forbidden to drive the distance, as they’d then have to pay me for the travel time, which would cost more than the 1st class flight.

  25. My feelings about HR are well known. If 90% of them were laid off tomorrow

    1) the boxed wine inventory of the nation would plummet
    2) stocks would surge, and rightly so

  26. Second order effect

    3) sudden increase in not-even-remotely-believable #metoo claims

  27. Cat adoptions would skyrocket.

  28. We should see if we can get PETA and the Humane Society on board with my plan to save America via HR Inverse Decimation.

  29. My daughter is in HR and she would agree with your assessments.

    She had a BITCH supervising HR woman in Maine and this woman was nothing but a bitter, bitchy, unsupportive, sabotaging, c*nt.

    My daughter vowed to never be that way and she isn’t. He current supervisor is alright but has bitch tendencies. Weird how they gravitate toward that job.

    My daughter only transferred to HR to get weekends off and 8-5 hours.

  30. HR gives bitchy women power over men doing the real work, that’s the appeal.

  31. HR: for women with English and communications degrees when Marketing isn’t hiring.

  32. Marketing would never touch your average HR hag. They’d drive business away.

  33. The Gillette ad is what happens when the HR ladies get into marketing.

  34. Definitely power tripping going on. My daughter is one of the sweetest people I know and everyone likes her. This really pissed this bitch off. But my daughter is also smart and wrote that bitch up in one of the best written, measured, letters I’ve seen. Bitch said my daughter would NEVER work in HR for this company.

    WRONG BITCH! She’s doing great, well liked and the company has highly reviewed her.

    *This bitchy woman is an inlaw of one of the owners of the company and I think they are waiting for her to retire to get rid of the hag gracefully.

  35. Comment by leoncaruthers on February 28, 2019 10:10 am
    The Gillette ad is what happens when the HR ladies get into marketing.


    HA! So true. With social justice, dipshit, daughters with dumbass degrees thrown in.

  36. I follow a few makeup gals on youtube and one of the dumbshits started going off about how awesome that commercial was. Unsubscribed to that dumbass faster than Oso can down a bourbon.

  37. Soylo and the Last Jedi are what happen when HR ladies make movies.

    Captain Marvel is what happens when they star in movies.

  38. My sister is in HR, but is one of the talented tenth. She consults me sometimes on “how would you interview for this tech job?” stuff. Humility is a strength.

  39. Lots of people lacking in humility these days. I suspect it’s at the root of many of our problems.

  40. When I was looking for work, I interviewed with a company that I’d worked at before grad school, and the interviewer didn’t know it, despite the work experience being prominent on my resume, and on the job application that I filled out.

    “Oh! You’re a comeback kid?”

    “Um, yeah, it’s the top line on my work experience: four years with the company…”

  41. Correct. Right now my daughter is an assistant and is generally learning how to tell the dregs of humanity that wearing flip flops, a t-shirt and reeking of weed will not fulfill their employment dreams.

    She’s also learning that people come in to say they made the effort and probably just continue with unemployment benefits. GROSS.

    She has lots of quits after one day. I’m sure it’s a benefits scam. These are hotel worker jobs so no skill involved, but man, what losers.

  42. My group at Ford had resume-reading parties. HR couldn’t be bothered to read them and didn’t understand them when they did. They filtered out more than a few people that turned out to be great.

  43. Idiots.

  44. I refuse to think Lena Dunham posing in her underwear at what she says is her highest weight is something to “celebrate.”

    Women, tats…whatever… but on the thighs…NEVER your best look.

  45. At least thigh tats can be covered up by a skirt or pants. Arm tats are worse.

  46. Oh Happy day. Oh Happy day!

    Do you know what today is boys n girls? Today is Happy Day! You know why today is a Happy Day? Its cause…..

    Gun Parts in my mailbox make me happeeeeeeee
    Gun Parts on my front porch make me Smile……

    Tonight in a small town in Illinois a evul black rifle will be born and its name shall be ……Weasel (my original Call Sign given to me by bad people)

  47. Yeah, not a fan of the upper arm tats on women. Men, especially military I don’t care but women also seem to choose those that look like blobs of ink. Like this:

  48. Lena Dunham is one of those people in the category of “Famous for being famous” that I like to ignore. It’s hard though when they keep shoving her in your face. I just don’t think she’s a genuinely happy person or fulfilled with her life. She’s a sad woman looking for approval. That’s my version of a Mare’s Musing for today.

  49. FUN, Troy!!

  50. She is desperately unhappy. I’m surprised that she hasn’t downed a bottle of sleeping pills yet.

  51. I think you nailed it, Jimbro.

    People like her crave attention, they are what I like to call ATTENTION WHORES. When nothing has been written about them for a while they like to do something “edgy.” Or, again, what I like to call “stupid.”

  52. Hey TTroy, since you’ve worked protection……How in the hell does whoever is watching Robert Kraft let him get into that situation? or does he not have a bodyguard? Seems like any well known billionaire would have to have some protection.

    Oh, and congrats on the new addition!

  53. I wondered the same thing myself Pepe. Part of his oft retold origin story is how he used to be a season ticket holder at the old Schaefer Stadium and was a fan “just like everyone else”. He did well enough in business that he was able to buy the team for what was then a record price. He’s either becoming senile, believe’s he’s above the law or never left his Joe Six Pack roots behind. Maybe a combination of the above. He’s sure as shit going to have a minder now.

  54. She is a poster child for how not to be. I understand her saying that her skinny was an “unhealthy” skinny. But her fat is an unhealthy fat as well.

    Strong from lifting dogs? Her dog can’t weigh 5 pounds.

  55. I would like to point out that the comment title bar could easily be construed as hostile and creates a hostile blog environment. Please correct this offensive condition and submit a written apology or I will be forced to have my attorney (Jimbro) sue yer ass.

  56. wow, you’re being nice to Dan and Mikey today, Car in.

  57. I’m always nice. It’s when they act like asses that I return in kind.

  58. I watched an episode of Girls once. It did something I would’ve thought to be impossible. It created a graphic fuck scene involving two young adults that was so repulsive that I had to turn it off. That she’s more rich and famous than your average cashier at Home Depot is an indicator of how Orwellian our shit has gotten.

  59. The very wealthy are faced with using the high end very noticeable (cause fucking good looking) ladies. These women are savvy and will quickly figure out who they are “servicing” and this opens the door for complications such as seen with Stormy Rottencrotch.
    Or, the anonymity of the upscale rub n tug. The celestials often wouldnt have a clue as to who they were working on nor would they care, so the liability and coordination efforts are diminished.

    Ultimately the decision is the clients. My job is to facilitate as secure an environment as can be achieved within the parameters provided. As a provider, I would front to the Mama San that I was a friend helping a “older friend” who was very important to me and it was important to me that he was treated kindly as he has medical issues. Re-enforced with the appropriate baksheesh, and paid for the transaction using a company card. And that’s the most I could do, outside of being there ready to respond.

    With the older clients the primary concerns go

    Med Emergency
    Social Embarrassment
    Physical Attack

    The wealthy use different Models….. alot use nothing and try to go low pro. I spoke with Elizabeth Taylor one night, she couldn’t get into her estate. I approached the vehicle and it was her and her Philippine driver who obviously was not a security type (for the record her eyes were damn near purple in color….amazing). I also spoke to her on another occasion (same circumstance) where the driver was Rod Steiger….no security. On the other hand, Sly Stallone had like 5 guys last time I saw his entourage. Tyra Banks used to eat breakfast alone frequently in the hotel we were in, no one in sight.

    Qualified Personal Security is very expensive. But ultimately in the private industry one doesn’t TELL the client a damn thing. I once, strapped a young Saudi Prince into a harness for one of those tow you behind the boat Para Sail rides……couldn’t talk him out of it…. I was at pucker factor 9000 the entire time that kid was up in the air. If anything had happened they would’ve disappeared my ass so quick…. the only time I flat out denied him was when he decided that he wanted to go to a hip hop club in DC. That was a flat out NO, and if I have to I’ll call your brother (the older Prince)….. things were chilly for a couple of days after that

    At the end of the detail I did get a bump well over $20.00

  60. Found a good GIS for my area. I can now find out who owns what nearby. Thinking I might offer to buy an acre in the neighbor’s front yard that they just let grow out as prairie last year. There’s an access road to their house between my field and it, but adding it to the hayfield would be nothing for effort, and that’s an extra 200-300 bales a year plus no one can buy it and build on it.

  61. Expanding Compound De Leon?

  62. School was called for beasnette as ice sent people sliding off the roadways in record numbers.

    Unfortunately for her, she woke up at 2 am, vomiting. She had a rough go of it until 8:30ish. She finally felt a little better and came halfway down the stairs to ask for a bottle of water…then took a shower. Think she’s asleep now.

    She thinks food poisoning. I’m thinking public school ebolas.

    Looking outside, not sure I want to attempt the highway, to mortar ‘the house’s’ bathroom tile.

  63. Expanding Compound De Leon?

    Not planning to build on it. I’ve got no close neighbors save for the older couple who own this land in front of their rather nice, very set-back home. Everything else is farm land. I want to keep it that way, and the best way to do that is to own it outright.

  64. If I were flush with cash at the right time, I’d buy their house, maybe split the vacant land off, and turn one of the two houses into a rental or put my mom-in-law in it.

  65. I must offload the Comstock land this year. I should find a realtor for it, wife could but has no agency to work with.

  66. Carin, is this Crossfit?

  67. I very much enjoyed Troy’s $20 story.

    You’d think somewhere there’d be a billionaire working on sexbots so good that he wouldn’t need hookers and could afterword move onto trillionairehood, but if so it’s staying awfully quiet.

  68. OMG I saw the coolest looking mushroom today.

  69. Troy, I, too, enjoyed your story.

    I also want some tactical shooting lessons from you.

  70. My crew just drove back from Cape Girardeau Beasn…..said it was very dicey and that they had seen multiple vehicles off road and one substantial pile up with vehicles on fire.

  71. MJ, it’s weird but most of my health, broad interests and keto podcasts have all broached the mushroom topic and in rather interesting fashions. Listening to Dr. Attila (sp) (he’s a smart one) and Tim Ferris talk about greatly improving their depression (and fear) with psilocybin is particularly interesting and honestly changed my mind about the drug.

  72. What’s that called when you hear/see/become aware of something and then you hear/see/become aware of it everywhere?

  73. OMG I saw the coolest looking mushroom today.

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  74. It would be my honor Mare….part of lotto dream would be to have a training facility for the worthy.

  75. Win that Lotto!!! Wait, I’ll win it and set you up (in a good way).


    I think it’s a hero wod.

  77. It didn’t happen

  78. I KNEW IT!

  79. That’s kinda hawt, car in.

    I can do that. I just don’t want to.

  80. Typhoid Beasn is now downstairs breathing her cooties into my sofa.

    *adds bucket to list so I can bleach the shit out of all the things*

  81. Good story Troy. That’s a whole world I have minimal insight about. Between TV, movies and fiction I’ve been led astray.

  82. Last year I put together a decent mid-range (price-wise anyway) ELR rifle built around a Savage 110 in .338 Lapua. Alas, my chances to get out and shoot it have been slim, and in the area we live, there are few if any private facilites where you can practice out beyond 200 yards.

    Ms. Peel and I have discussed some hill country acreage in our retirement plans, which opens up possibilities for a small private range of our own, but that’s many years from now. Once the boys are mature enough to go to a range with me, it will be a lot more fun and won’t leave the missus stuck watching the monsters. Or she’ll go with. She loves shooting too.

  83. Shit… public. I meant to say public facilities. There are a few private membership only places around (one is close enough that I can hear it from the house most mornings), but they all have multi-year waiting lists to get in.

  84. You in the Dallas area, Will?

  85. What the actual fuck? A client sent me an invite to look at her fucking Pinterest page with ideas on her house that we’re going to be remodeling. I had to sign up in order to view the page. That was about half an hour ago.

    I have five spams from the cocksuckers in my inbox suggesting other pages I might like.

    No, dicks, quit sending me shit.

    Plus my client had a page of front door examples she likes. There have to be over two hundred doors in there. THAT DOES NOT HELP ME. Narrow it to five, and then I’ll have a look.


  86. I can shoot out to 1,200 yards behind my shop. Sometime soon, I’m going to build a small range for handguns right behind my shop. With the new backhoe, I can clear a nice little area and put up some berms.

    Thanks, TTroy. It must be tough keeping people from doing stupid things.

    I would think someone with that kind of money could keep an accommodating “secretary” around.

  87. hahahahhhhahaha, Hotspur guided by a client to look at her Pinterest.

    Can’t stop laughing.

  88. Does she have an Instagram with lots of yoga-pants and meal pics, too?

  89. We’re in Houston. Close to JSC obviously.

    If we were to buy land in the East Texas Piney Woods, we could probably get enough land on our budget to reach 1000 yards. Hill Country land is quite a bit more expensive, so we either have to win the lottery, or I have to settle for a shorter range.

  90. Public or private ranges probably have easier access out in the boonies (is East Texas rural?)

  91. That’s a whole world I have minimal insight about. Between TV, movies and fiction I’ve been led astray.

    When done properly it is very very boring, especially when you first start. Most operations run on a 12 on 12 off sched. This means the properly prepared agent is looking at a minimum of 17 hrs days just to stay fit, eat, and be ready for the next day and that’s if things go smooth. Most of the the time, the off duty crew is the response team and when there are “specials” there will be overlaps.

    One last story…. I was on a detail where it was a L shaped hotel. The VIP Floor was booked. We had one wing and Vice President Cheney had the other wing. I had the post where the hallway intersected with the other wing. The SS had a post at that point on thier “side.” So here we are, two guys standing in a hallway, 2 O’clock in the freaking morning. Both of us well dressed in suit and tie….. wires sticking out of our ears… just fucking standing there in silence…….all. night. long……finally I said to the guy “I dont care what the fuck they call this, standing in a hall is standing in a hall”….he snickered a bit. And that was the excitement for the night.

    I was always of the mind that if you are using any of your “special” skills…….you should consider the day a failure.

  92. The intricacies of long distance shooting have eluded me, but after this build Im pretty sure I want to do the precision rifle thing. What I’d really like to do is go to a school and get some real instruction instead of trying the self taught route. Again with the lotto dream….I would have a facility for the worthy and fly in the Instructors so we could all train together.

    Talking Heads are on …my fav…..this aint no party…..this aint no disco…..this aint no foolin arooooooooound.

  93. consider the day a failure.
    John Wick, Bob Lee Swagger and Jason Bourne disagree with you

  94. Casper Weinburger gave a speech at Virginia Tech when I was there, and the Secret Service guys were none too happy when they were on the roof of Burruss Hall and the chimes went off.

    One of the security guards here used to be with the Secret Service. He and I discussed how you really shouldn’t piss off the guy who is supposed to take a bullet for you, or he might not react in time. (Al Gore is a dick.)

  95. Troy, I’m on a couple of projects purely as a “subject matter expert”. Similar situation (admittedly less dangerous), if everything is boring, it went right. I’m there in case things don’t go right.

  96. Very glad Trump stopped over in Alaska and visited with the troops, but he sounded tired.

  97. Jet lag would do that to anyone. Plus, it’s Alaska, no one visits.


    I’m going to try and beat the snow by moving my trip up a bit earlier, any good weather/safe travel/thoughts and prayers would be appreciated over the next few days. Thank you kindly.

  99. Good luck with the move, Pupster.

  100. My Aunt Monica was born on 2/29. She used to fuck with us when we were kids. We didn’t quite understand “Leap Year”.

  101. The Clinton’s were despised, treated their guys like shit, one of those “common knowledge” situations within the industry. It wouldn’t surprise me if Trump had a hybrid protection detail comprised of SS and his own guys. He had a very high speed private detail before he was President.

  102. Good luck and safe travels, Pups.

  103. Just had to help #1 Son pull a calf. Reeeeaaaalllly glad he was here. Cow went batshit crazy and was trying to kill us when we tried to get her into the chute. Really dangerous. Calf is good, and we didn’t get hurt so it’s all good.

  104. Pupster, when do you have to be on the new job?

  105. Hope it’s a smooth move

  106. Hey MJ, do you prefer Viagra or Cialis?

  107. Minn – Charlotte is only 18 hours? I would have guessed a lot more.

    Safe travels, Pupster.

    Hopefully you get a truck with brakes.

  108. Wait, is Pupster actually moving their stuff or doing recon, or what?

    Either way, I’m in for praying for a safe trip just don’t know what this trip entails.

  109. Pupster, do you have the truck yet?

    I might be able to save you a boatload of money.

  110. Pepe, is it early for calves or was last week the final blast of Winter?

  111. What’s the difference between a boatload and a shitload?

  112. Boatload = Shitload and a mouth full of French sausages.

  113. As long as lapkid has a ticket, I’m ok. That isn’t my experience.

  114. Those kids get changed on the tray tables.

    * gags *

  115. Oso, for us calving starts around Feb 8th or so.

  116. Days like today, are a Blessing.

  117. This morning, I was standing in the man-door of the attached-garage having a smoke and a cuppa. I heard the sound of ‘Thundering Hooves”. It was 20 elk running from something across the highway. They were looking over their shoulders, as if something was pursuing
    them. They ran right past me, into the north pasture. I could not see what they were running from.
    They ended up in the east pasture grazing on the frozen grass. It was very weird.

  118. Honestly, I was half convinced he’d tell the Secret Service to take the next four years off and just have a crew of “contractors” handle that detail.

    I’m increasingly convinced he should have.

  119. I’ve often wondered at the difference between a metric assload and a cubic fuckton. There was a nerdy website devoted to tabletop gaming I found years ago that had a whole breakdown of the hierarchy. Haven’t had luck finding it again.

    The other thing I bought was a dirt cheap Remington 783 combo in .223. Ammo is plentiful and it will make a great first centerfire for the kids to learn on. No sense in taking them from a 10/22 to the 338 unless I want to scare them off rifles all together.

  120. Defiantly, Edwin rebuked Paul.

  121. Hopefully you get a truck with brakes.

    Thanks pal.

    15′ Uhaul for the first trip, to make space in our rental and get it ready to show, and move enough stuff to Charlotte to set up housekeeping for me to begin working on the 19th.

    Big trip will be later in the month with the rest of our stuff and the wonderdog.

  122. The fight over crab legs linked at the mothership ONT happened here. I have eaten there but not since the wake for one of my co-workers. I try to stay away from the Chinese buffets these days.

  123. I gotta wonder why our restaurants keep making the news. (IHOP shooting previously)

  124. When I saw your snow covered lawn picture yesterday I imagined a Bobcat knocking the banks down and then some kind of conveyor belt to load boxes downhill from the house to the truck.

  125. Entire month of February – no sunspots. Hopefully I get a chance to crunch some data today.

  126. i see we’ve turned into an HR hate site

  127. I’m praying for fair winds and following seas for you Sir Pupsalot….

  128. and of course;
    – long may your big jib draw!….

    but don’t brag about it, it’s unseemly

  129. Wheyda tits at?

  130. Coming, freak show

  131. Freak show tits? What, like extra nipples and shit?

  132. Gross. But yes.

  133. I’ll wait

  134. Who’s doing BBF today, anyway?

  135. Lauraw?

  136. Just had to help #1 Son pull a calf. Reeeeaaaalllly glad he was here. Cow went batshit crazy and was trying to kill us when we tried to get her into the chute. Really dangerous. Calf is good, and we didn’t get hurt so it’s all good.

    This is why I’m planning on sheep.

  137. If no one’s working on it, I can, uh, try.

  138. new post

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