nobody likes a smartasz

 

 

 

116 Comments

  1. oy!!!!

  2. that pig biting the model dealio just proves once again that playing with your food is not healthy

  3. Woof.

    Charlotte is in the lead because it is between mountains and ocean. I have 3 equal offers but I’m inclined to be selfish and take the one that is where I want to live. We will get an extra bedroom for MIL and she can stay as long as she wants.

  4. at the extended family Christmas party (in january) one of the kids that was there is autistic – he was pissing around with a couple of rubiks cubes – he could solve in about a minute.
    i got him to teach me how to solve them – i taught him how to swear… one of the relatives wasn’t happy with me for somw reason.

    i think the kid had a really good time; at least he was talking and laughing

  5. charlotte sounds good.

  6. http://tinyurl.com/yy6wzdsv

  7. “Your ass must be jealous…” meme card is my favorite.

    Now if there was only an effective mnemonic to remember that next time I needed it …

  8. Bernie Sanders is in? Bernie is in?

    Praise the Lord and pass me my inhaler Felicia…ima need a hit offa it

  9. wakey wakey. Bernie is running? lol. Good times. All those people who got those tattoos can bring them out again.

  10. First thing on my facebook feed – (just went) – was a liberal friend announcing that.

    Comments:

    Dean He looks like a gremlin mid-morph

    Like

    · Reply · 27m

    Pablo This is bad news

  11. Larouche quit running, so Bernie has a gap to fill.

    Amazon Basics now sells whey protein. I know because it was the first suggestion when I searched for it. W. T. F.

  12. Damn, it’s still early.

  13. why is that WTF leon?

  14. puppy update from Car in’s FB

  15. Because there is now essentially a Basics substitute for every real product they carry. Amazon = OCP. They’ll be building ED-209s any minute.

  16. Every naked person I see turns me on

  17. quit speaking oso, start using english

  18. OMNI CONSUMER PRODUCTS, JAY, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING!!!

  19. Best puppy update ever

  20. THEY WOULD BUILD ROBOCOP BUT LAW ENFORCEMENT NO LONGER HAPPENS IN THIS COUNTRY.

  21. What’s an ErectileDysfunction-209s?

    And how is it better than the regular 209?

  22. OCP must be a Detroit joke.

  23. I came back from making breakfast, and found pupper cuddled with Moose under my computer table. That’s “his spot”. She just climbed in there with him. It’s super adorable.

  24. No token wimmen of color on the corporate board, movie couldn’t get made today.

  25. Computer desk puppy update

  26. The adorbs are too much.

    Moose can’t really play with her inside, he’s too big. But for some reason he’s decided he CAN outside. When I take them all out, he gets so excited … but I really can’t let them play much, because she’s about 12 pounds and he’s 165. Yesterday, Moose and Oschi were outside, and moose “knocks” at the door. I open it, and just sticks his head in and STARES at pupper. LOL. he wanted her to come out.

  27. More dinner ideas for our single friends: http://awkward.com/food-blogger-documents-dimly-lit-sad-meals-for-one/

  28. OK, that one might be a bit over the top.

  29. I lived alone for a while between marriages. I was never sad about eating alone. I actually kind of resent having to share a kitchen now.

  30. By the time Sanders might be inaugurated, he’ll be 79 years old. He needs to disclose who his choice for a running mate will be.

  31. Sometimes I apologize when I make burgers, or brats. Mrs Jay says “Why? I like those too.” Not everything has to be fancy to be good.

  32. I’ve actually been having thoughts about single life and how it affect young women.

    Last night, sorta depressing talk with E about how she’s ambition-less. Sorta. I think because she doesn’t feel driven for some career, that she’s some how … flawed. So many girls – as young women – they hold onto this notion that they’re working toward some career. And some are, but some honestly – what they’re looking for is a way to support themselves, so they can get married and have a family.

  33. *loves Moose stories and pictures*

  34. Young women are sent messages that they should spend their twenties climbing the career ladder.

    And some are, but some honestly – what they’re looking for is a way to support themselves, so they can get married and have a family.

    That… doesn’t make sense to me. I expect to be the bread winner so that she can stay home and raise the kids. Career and family very often do not mix well. You have to sacrifice one for the other.

    I see a lot of dating profiles of women which read, “I have a house, a dog, travel, and I have my life put together!” Well, then why the hell do you need me?

  35. what they’re looking for is a way to support themselves, so they can get married and have a family.

    Agreed. I think if my daughter had a choice, she’d be married and starting a family. She’s not overly excited about career. Yeah, she likes her job okay but would prefer not being in the rat race.

    She also seems to be resigned to the fact that if she does marry her boyfriend, she’d still have to work because he doesn’t make as much as she does.

    When I told her there was nothing wrong and everything right about putting off career until after children, I got the gimlet eye of struggling with middle-aged mom tells her and what society tells her.

    Car in, did you tell E she should find herself a husband?

  36. Btw, I won the birth weight contest. Daughter’s BFF’s baby girl weighed in at 7# 10oz. I hope she inundates beasnette with lots and lots of baby pictures. When and if her clock goes off, that boyfriend will be made to piss or get off the pot.

    I’d go up and see them but we have guys at the house doing the floors, it’s shopping day for MIL, and Mr. B. has a shit ton of conference calls most of the day.

    *thinks about it anyway and wonders which purse can hold eight pounds of ‘stuff’*

  37. Leon, future science fair experiment for Possum

    https://tinyurl.com/y3zfx26l

  38. Jussie Smollett is being being victimized even further.

    His scenes in Empire are being cut.

  39. ‘scuse me, I gotta go down to Linden and tell some dude at a tiny paper to STFU…

  40. That… doesn’t make sense to me. I expect to be the bread winner so that she can stay home and raise the kids. Career and family very often do not mix well. You have to sacrifice one for the other.

    I see a lot of dating profiles of women which read, “I have a house, a dog, travel, and I have my life put together!” Well, then why the hell do you need me?

    I think it’s dangerous to not at least arm yourself with some employment history and a skill. I didn’t mean career. But most young women do need to be able to feed themselves, so they don’t have to marry the first guy who asks because they’re hungry and need some place to live.

  41. *legitimately looks down on j’ames with a big solid movement*

  42. When I told her there was nothing wrong and everything right about putting off career until after children, I got the gimlet eye of struggling with middle-aged mom tells her and what society tells her.

    Car in, did you tell E she should find herself a husband?

    I’m working my way up to that. First I am telling Pat. I was on the phone with him a bit ago, and I said (pretty much direct quote) – ‘this may be the most anti-feminist thing you’ve ever heard me say, but she needs to be in a relationship … all that ‘you don’t need a man stuff’ is bullshit.’

  43. She needs to stop spending time with time-sucks that aren’t encouraging her to be a better person. I’d like it if she moved in with Ian somehow.

  44. I know wimminz that have gotten into pretty dire straights because they didn’t have a skill set to fall back on after a husband left them after years of marriage. Mrs jam and I are stressing education and self reliance in lil jammettes indoctrination.

  45. It wouldn’t hurt to have a small thing you do on the side that you can ramp up in an emergency. That keeps the skills sharpened for when you absolutely need them (not to mention having a little extra spending money, and potentially something to involve the kids in!)

  46. maybe you could mention that to Ian?

  47. Well, someone set the motivation high bar, and boy, is it UP THERE!

    http://theindependent.sg/talk-about-being-accomplished-asian-american-only-34-years-old-yet-a-navy-seal-doctor-and-astronaut/

  48. fuck it, I’m getting chicken


  49. I think it’s dangerous to not at least arm yourself with some employment history and a skill. I didn’t mean career. But most young women do need to be able to feed themselves, so they don’t have to marry the first guy who asks because they’re hungry and need some place to live.

    I can agree to that.

  50. It’s a balancing act. The longer you work and develop your career, the more you’re going to have to give up in order to start a family.

  51. Right now, Ian is renting a room from his brother. The two are going skiing in two weeks out west. I’ll put a bug in his ear.

  52. Winter Storm Warning, time to make french toast.

  53. Sure. ANd many young women seem to THINK they want that career … and then they have that first baby. So, imho, ERin is “upset” that she doesn’t have a drive toward something that she’s probably not going to want to do anyway. It’s a missing, useless piece. I think it’s society that is making her a tad depressed – society’s message. I’ve tried to raises my kids to think outside of that box, but I obviously have a hard time competing with popular culture.

  54. Dammit. Virginia has joined 15 other states in suing Trump of the emergency declaration. All to stop the Wall from being built. All 16 states have Dem AGs, and all but one have Dem Govs.
    Fucking America hating assholes! You’ll reap what you sow voting those carpetbaggers into office, Northern VA! I almost hope more MS13 nds up in Fairfax County…

  55. DC area is due for 6″ of snow overnight.

    Going to be above freezing here tomorrow and rain on Thursday.

  56. They need the brown people to do the voting that Americans wont.

  57. we’re running out of places to put snow

  58. I can see my grass in multiple places.

  59. MJ can see his grass, of course, but that’s because it’s growing in his closet in a little “herb garden”.

  60. She needs to stop spending time with time-sucks that aren’t encouraging her to be a better person.

    “Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

  61. She’d do well to read Wisdom, Proverbs, and Sirach, too.

  62. but I obviously have a hard time competing with popular culture.

    Same. Almost got into a knock down, drag out with the boy last time he was home, over ‘journalism’. Discussion over bias/activism/WWWWH and you may not be interested in politics but politics is sure interested in you…blah blah.

    He sneered – almost like that freak in the vape shop video – TO STAHP…that I didn’t know what I was talking about because last time he checked, I wasn’t a journalist. Excuse me? In high school, I was on the staff of the school newspaper. Two years of Journalism, one year of creative writing. We damn well had to learn what journalism was, what editorializing was, what propaganda was. These fuckers are engaging in propaganda and activism to manipulate you idiot millennials. He shut up but kept giving me dirty looks.

  63. By the way, oso supplied that pun, and many others. Yep, THAT oso.

  64. That sums them up in a nutshell.

    Rowan: happy go lucky optimist

    Star: chubby curmudgeon

  65. I ordered a few books … I don’t know that they’ll help, but they can’t hurt. I’m going to make a deal that we each read one, then switch. One is the pop-psych bs that all the young women are reading (Girl, wash your face). I’m hoping the easy tone and positive message grabs her. The other (more directed at me) is about habits. “Atomic Habits”. a lot of people from one of my fitness groups read it.

  66. “Atomic Habits”

    Is this home reactor management? Because if it isn’t it sucks.

  67. In a sense I guess you could say it has to do with that.

  68. I don’t believe you, and now I can never trust you again.

  69. It was going to be called Automatic Habits but that was already taken

  70. Ships Car in a copy of Atomic Hobbits.

  71. Atomic Habits is what you get when nuns eat mexican food.

  72. OMG IT’S A SELF HELP BOOK! NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT HOW TO MANAGE MY CONTROL ROD IN THE HOT ZONE!

  73. OMG IT’S A SELF HELP BOOK! NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT HOW TO MANAGE MY CONTROL ROD IN THE HOT ZONE!

    Step 1: Send Possum to her grandparents’ house for the day…

  74. Well … I mean, how you react to tasks at home and managing them …. etc … Habits.

  75. Step 2: Next, you cut a hole in the containment chamber…

  76. Car Salesman…

  77. HOW TO MANAGE MY CONTROL ROD IN THE HOT ZONE!

    Deep breaths…a few pauses…..

  78. Step 2: Next, you cut a hole in the containment chamber…

    Heh.

    *just walks away….*

  79. Just think about beisbol.

  80. https://www.dailywire.com/news/43644/feminist-pastor-gives-gloria-steinem-vagina-paul-bois

    wtf? A pastor melted down purity rings?

  81. yes

  82. I just looked at the pic of the nasty scrunt and red the headline. I’m not going to read that crap and lose my Wendy’s chilli plus a baked potato lunch.

  83. I guess I don’t understand church anymore, then.

  84. True story!

  85. Biopsy back…no cancer. I posted that pun because the dogs are cute. It had math and it was a pun…cute dogs. Heh

  86. She’s not a pastor, she’s an infernal priestess serving Satan, her lord and master.

  87. If you read the article, I don’t think I’m being even moderately hyperbolic.

  88. Is that the biopsy from the Huge Thousand Gallon Tumor?

  89. Yes. Her new Dr will be continuing to drain the tumor. My mom is adjusting to not having 70# of fluid and her mobility back.

  90. Wow!!! I hope she continues to be on the mend, Oso!

  91. So, pseudotumor?

  92. Great news, Oso.

  93. Good news. What are they calling it then? Technically speaking?

  94. Heh heh…..somewhere in India there is a blog with a story bout the woman in the US that had 30 lb tumour removed after 50 yrs…..I always see the reverse stories in our blogs….with a pic of some poor soul with a facial growth or some shit…You should sell the story to the Daily Mail….monetize that shit.

  95. Beasn, Mr. TiFW is in your neck of the woods on yet another business trip. He was not looking forward to the temperatures in ST Louis!

  96. She’s not a pastor, she’s an infernal priestess serving Satan, her lord and master

    It’s paganism resurgent. Of course, your could argue that much of Western History over the past 2000 years has been the struggle of Christianity against paganism.

  97. What liberal “theologians” label progress is invariably a devolution to pre-christian debauchery or decadence.

  98. TerribleTroy, I fully expected my mom to be a tabloid story with the size of her tumor

  99. I only know that no cancer. Draining will continue. Surgeon was right and both oncologists were wrong.

  100. oso that’s amazing.
    good news.

  101. 70#’s holy crap a cannoli that’s a lot of weight loss in a short period of time.
    a couple laps around the park and she’ll be ready for the summer olympics

  102. BroCav –
    this type of research has been around for a few years – correlations on microbiome genus/species mix and ratios is seemingly pointing towards some interesting conclusions. Corroborating studies seem to come out monthly now.

    https://www.rdmag.com/news/2019/02/newly-isolated-human-gut-bacterium-reveals-possible-connection-depression

  103. Random thought, it’s a smack-talk standard, but there must be at least a few people playing online games whose mothers do, in fact, put out for pay. I wonder how those people feel about hearing it…

  104. which one of you drunk bastidges stole the school bus:
    http://tinyurl.com/y5fu57x3

  105. With my dentures finally getting set right, I should be able to sort out my diet properly now, so that’s useful information.

    And the “tumor” sounds like the cyst from hell.

  106. https://tinyurl.com/y4jxmg4w

  107. Mmmmmm! Just like they make back home!

  108. So, Sam’s announced restructuring in the Fall. Each Club needs to meet a headcount based on sales. Each GM was supposed to submit a wish list. Our GM went on a hiring spree of young people. His wish list was old people and long term associates. I was on the list, due to my age. Dan was on the list, but he’s a Market Trainer. Apparently, lots of GMs had the same idea as our GM. Sam’s became concerned about class action lawsuits. I’m still in limbo. Dan is safe. I get called in to do special projects ALL THE TIME. Going in tomorrow for a liquor audit. Dan is more angry than I am. He gets angry that I continue to work beyond my pay grade. He hates that I still provide great service. My regulars love me. GM is trying to frustrate associates into quitting. He has me cashier on the weekends. I am the best cashier! Door greeter? Fuck yeah! I get paid by the hour. I really don’t care WTF happens on the Club floor when I’m greeting or cashiering.

  109. Good GMs love that. Bad GMs loathe it.

  110. Comment by Brother Cavil on February 19, 2019 11:23 am

    ‘scuse me, I gotta go down to Linden and tell some dude at a tiny paper to STFU…

    Please do, and thank ye kindly.

  111. Oso, do you reside in Hell? Or just the American version of it ?

  112. Dinosaur eggs? Really precious.


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