MMM 355: movie monster

These images may look like harmless fruiting bodies, but they are related to (and possibly part of) the world’s largest living organism.  I give you the honey mushroom.  A saprophitic species that can kill or essentially underpin enormous swaths of forested land in a sometimes symbiotic, sometimes parasitic relationship.  In the US Pac NW and northern Michigan, it’s mostly a symbiote.  In the UK, it appears to be eating whole forests.

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These are edible and supposedly tasty, but have a number of not-altogether-safe lookalikes, like death cap.honey-fungus_2704755b.jpg

Pictured above is the featured image for a “honey mushrooms killing UK forests” article.

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You can see there’s something of a spectrum in cap color, but gills are consistently white with a white spore print, and there’s always an annulus on the mature stalk.

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Good luck mowing the lawn around that.

Happy Monday!

122 Comments

  1. This may be a repeat. Haven’t decided if I should move on to lichens and leaf molds.

  2. Decisions decisions.

    wakey wakey

  3. Itchy annulus

  4. When your caring shines through.

  5. *hoses blog down with A&D*

  6. How the heck did that woman ever win an election ever? Or get hired for a job? WTF?

  7. Minorities get a pass, leon.

  8. Just looked at the articles on an entertainment newsletter from the Boston Herald. Apparently a dead man (Chris Cornell) won a Grammy and a soon to be dead man (Jimmy Carter) won one too!

    Awards shows are the circle jerks of the media world.

    Now pass me the A&D ointment

  9. How’s your lawn, jimbro? *walks around on it

  10. Saw two miniature dachsunds poking their heads out some car’s window in traffic on the way to work. Made my morning, right there.

  11. My lawn is covered with snow and ice right now so you ought to be careful out there.

  12. I find these mushroom posts both interesting and terrifying. Can’t speak for anyone else but unless they are sold in a store I’m out as far as mushrooms go. The subtlety in differences between a “this is delicious!” And “Tell the kids I love them” is just to small.

  13. My brother and SIL have two blond dachshunds and the breeder describes them (this type of dachshund) as something like snuggle buddies. They really are just happy, sweet and love to cuddle. I get to hang with them next week!

  14. 1/10 would not smash the mushrooms

  15. Can’t have booze 12 hours before and 24 hours after eating this ‘shroom?

    Lame.

  16. That one looks like it should be tasty. I’d be pretty happy if pounds and pounds of them grew on my lawn like that and I knew exactly what they were.

  17. Urrgh, one of those fun New Mexico days. Blowing about 30 mph (the wind, not like your mom in a troop carrier) with gusts way over that. Temp is around 35 degrees. Yuck.

  18. Making Walmart shopping list. That’s a thing we’ll be doing today.

    Maybe. I haven’t been able to find my jean shorts from 7th grade, and I can’t go Walmart shopping without my jean shorts from 7th grade. All this nasty hunchback flub ain’t gonna worship itself, people.

  19. Do you have your tube top and yoga pants?

  20. Leon, the tube top and yoga pants are for Scott.

  21. Yeah, this job isn’t a good fit.

    Time to update my resume and start looking for something else.

  22. Thinking about a Valentines Gift for the Hubby? Walmart carries the (what I call) Wrist Rockets. They are the “sportsmans sling shot”. Have a arm brace and surgical tubing, normally comes with a couple of hundred ball bearings for “shot”. Good for the quiet address of critters and other nuisances..I heard if you took glass marbles and froze them in the freezer that would shatter on impact leaving very little trace……

    PS. And they are inexpensive too!

  23. What happened, Alex?

  24. “Yeah, this job isn’t a good fit.”

    What happened? Did you step on yer penis again?

  25. Lol, Scott has a wrist wrocket already. Used to be deadly with it, too. I haven’t seen him use it for years, though.

  26. Propositioned in the break room?

  27. Long story short: I’m not a good fit for the culture here, plus the requirements of the job are starting to chafe. Too politically sensitive with lots of drama.

    My current supervisor basically gives me contradictory guidance while I’m working on a project, no feedback/corrections (they just rewrite themselves what I wrote), there are few SOPs or any sort of attempt at knowledge management and continuity, etc.

    I was tasked with forecasting prescription drug spending, and when I asked for what documentation she had from the last time she’d done the forecasts (two years ago) she had non. Nothing about what models were used, what issues they had… she even admitted that she doesn’t really know how to use the software since she only uses it every two years!

    I’m not allowed to email anyone outside the office for information without running it through my supervisor first. I sent out an email on Friday asking a state agency that we work with regularly for specific data on historic capitation rates. This was to answer a request from a legislator. Apparently my supervisor had a meeting with him last Wednesday to discuss the request, and no one thought to note on the request form, “hey, he wants to keep this private.”

    Today was a meeting and my supervisor and the group leader both suggested that I apply for a new unit that’s being stood up.

    $20.

  28. Just asked, he says he’ll stick with the pellet gun.

  29. I don’t think I’d want to work in that environment either, man. Sheesh. No communication? Guess you need to bring your crystal ball to work.

  30. Do everybody a favor and burn shithole down on yer way out Alex.

  31. The thing is, she’s been here for seventeen years. She’s used to doing things a certain way, and nothing is documented because she knows how to do it.

    For the forecast I was literally told, “look over this list of variables and figure out which ones you think might play a role.” Then, she didn’t like the ones I chose.

  32. I have a wrist rocket but with 2 dumb kids who would discover some aggressive woodchuck in need of “scaring off” I keep it locked up in the gun safe. It’s been in there so long the surgical tubing is probably ready to crack if used too much.

  33. How i cut carbs

  34. Hmm, I wonder if jimbro can get ahold of any surgical tubing. Can anyone help him out?

  35. Sorry to hear it is not going swimmingly, Alex. No offense, but it seems to me that some budget offices want the numbers to be what they want them to be, not necessarily accurate.

    I just had a second phone interview for the most promising lead on my job search, but I don’t think it went very well. He mostly just talked about himself and all the huge projects he’s done, and his questions to me were only about where I had gaps in experience compared to the job description, didn’t even touch the 80% I had covered, just the 20% I didn’t.

    *sigh*

  36. Pupster, let’s both move to Michigan and found H2 Solutions, Inc.

  37. https://theresurgent.com/2019/02/11/ill-be-voting-for-president-trump-and-vice-president-pence-in-2020/

    Erik Erikson changing his tune. I’m not going to give him crap about this. I think it was understandable for people to look at Trump in 2016 and say, “I don’t trust him and won’t vote for him.” But the continued insistence that he’s some sort of monster who is destroying the GOP and conservatism is bad joke. Good for Erikson for admitting that Trump hasn’t been as bad as the NeverTrump folks claimed to fear.

  38. Are democrats who are working to save Northam,’Fairfax,’et al making it easier to discredit the hysterical attacks on Trump’s next scotus nominee? I’d like to think so.

  39. Pupster, let’s both move to Michigan and found H2 Solutions, Inc.

    I’m in.

  40. I like the Michigan idea.

  41. So, we’ve done in-house teams for the Crossfit open this year. 30 of use who’s signed up got drafted. 3 teams. The people who didn’t sign up yet were open to being recruited, as is ANYONE.

    it has gotten rather ugly. lol. Stealing recruits with offers of money … sigh. We had two bad ass women stolen from us this morning.

  42. that virginia kerfuffle is awesome.
    it doesn’t get much clearer than this.

  43. So, we’ve done in-house teams for the Crossfit open this year. 30 of use who’s signed up got drafted. 3 teams. The people who didn’t sign up yet were open to being recruited, as is ANYONE.

    it has gotten rather ugly. lol. Stealing recruits with offers of money … sigh. We had two bad ass women stolen from us this morning.

    What were they offered? Money? Fame? Penis?

  44. I sure wish those Virginia republicans would quit being racists.

  45. “How i cut carbs”

    *nominates J’ames for Dietitian of Teh Year*

  46. https://247sports.com/nfl/cleveland-browns/Article/Cleveland-Browns-sign-Kareem-Hunt-128984539/

    So, the Chefs drop Hunt after attacking a woman, now he gets to play for a new team, the Browns. So, the Chefs are the only losers who had to pay a price?

  47. Didn’t mention it, but I’m sorry to hear it, Alex. Doesn’t sound like a team worth being on.

    Learned this morning that there might be some substantial changes coming for my little consulting firm, so I may hang on to see how it plays out.

  48. Virginia thing is just crazy. I have a half-dozen yearbooks of mine from the 80s and I’m fairly certain that nobody pictured within is wearing blackface at any time, for any reason. In Montgomery, Alabama. Because apparently we had a better grasp of Things You Shouldn’t Do tham our self-proclaimed moral and intellectual betters.

  49. too

    *corrects self before that asshole, Hotspur*

    *Hotspur, check Alex’s comments.*

  50. Also, if H2 Solutions needs someone with decent eye for composition, aptitude with basic image manipulation and desktop publishing, and a general wish to tell idiots to fuck off, talk to me…

  51. I can handle DevOps, network stuff, and cybersecurity.

    Also composting and incendiary devices.

  52. What were they offered? Money? Fame? Penis?

    They’re not talking.

  53. We just replaced the two lost badd ass women with a married couple who are even more bad ass. There will be gnashing of teeth.

  54. They’re not talking.

    Penis it is.

  55. Is there an opportunity to cross train in the fire deployment arts? I have references (ask why I’m not allowed to handle fireworks).

  56. How big of a fucking loser does one have to be to “game” a crossfit competition? (Not you Car, I know you weren’t gaming). Seriously, if your life is so void of significant accomplishment that a crossfit comp is your claim to fame……sucks to be you……

  57. This one time at crossfit camp…

  58. We’re all friends -so it’s actually pretty hilarious. And the way the competition is set up, someone who isn’t one of our top athletes can score big points for the team by doing something they’ve never done before, etc. Spirit. SUpport. We’re just sorta having fun with it. The athletes who don’t usually work out at our gym often come to ours for the competitions just because we’re all friends.

  59. Someone has The Five People You Meet in Heaven on our swap page with $5 and “never read” on it.

    I’m really fighting the urge to reply ‘You’re going to have to pay me more than $5 to read it”.

  60. Heh, Car in, got blocked in the Argument Room. Guess she didn’t like my facts!

  61. Me to the IRS: Where my muhneh?

    IRS: Fuck You! You filed a return with a CTC! We gets to hold it foh a minute….

    Me: Ahhhight…….I see how it is…… but uh…..Where my muhneh?

    IRS: You’ll get it when we says you’ll get it! And we aint saying right now!

    ME: * wonder why these muthafuckas weren’t shot in the face a long time ago….

  62. I’m going to have to come up with a recipe for ‘Mushroom Poat.’ I think of a poat as a puffy casserole topped with cheese or toasty breadcrumbs.

  63. Maybe a poat is some kind of stew.

    Maybe a poat is something you do to a loved one.

    Maybe a poat is that little spot under your _____.

    Maybe a poat is a lot like a pylon.

    Maybe a poat is a lesser known rare flightless bird in Antarctica.

    Maybe a poat is an ancient standard of measurement.

  64. Carin, I’m supposed to tell you Paula is doing The Open this year. No word on teams or what was waved in her face to join.

  65. Tell her not to join if they do that thing where they alternate between burpees and poats for 50 reps.

  66. I think a poat is a kind of tincture.

  67. Right. MJ loves a few drops of a basil-lavender poat in his ultra modern cocktails.

  68. 25th High School Reunion August 16/17.

    So I’ve got 185 days to get six-pack abs and become an astronaut.

  69. Oso’s ancestors made a poat of yerba buena for sore, tired muscles.

  70. A poat is just shy of a shart.

  71. My goddaughter is getting married in September. I’ve got 210 days to melt 20 pounds of lard.

  72. Husband and I are sick of our shit and nonbendiness. We’re hiring someone to finish the wood floors and put in some flexitec vinyl flooring in the kitchen. Bing bam boom, done in five days. They took off .50 per sq ft due to the work we already did – sanding, removing of trim, etc.

  73. I went to a reunion once.

  74. Same here. 10 year HS reunion. That was enough to convince me to skip all the other ones.

  75. I missed the 15 year, and I live in my hometown again and have no friends. I figure it’s worth a shot.

  76. I never had a reunion because social engineering ‘deseg’.

    I did go to my husband’s 25th.

  77. Pupster: BBF Candidate Helga Lovekaty (aka Tits On A Stick)

    https://tinyurl.com/y2gp3mk9

  78. Hey goobers

  79. A poat sounds like a quick breakfast your grandma would fix. “Are you hungry? How ‘ bout I fix you a quick poat to eat on the way…..”

  80. i wasn’t a fan of the asswipes i went to school with back in the day-
    there is a less than zero percent chance of me wasting my time going back to see them now.

    i’d rather deal with a bad case of suppurating poat.

  81. There is a better chance of me going back to Taco Bell.

  82. I was a fat nerd in high school. I’m not fat anymore. I need this.

  83. I didn’t have a flamethrower back then either.

  84. My 20th was good. Hot chicks were still mostly hot. Went to 30th and things had definitely deteriorated. Skipped 40 and 50.

    I haven’t stayed in touch with a single classmate. Why would I want to go hang out with a bunch of old people strangers?

  85. Can’t imagine wanting to go to a high school reunion. I hated school. *shudders*

  86. to be clear, don’t bring the flamethrower, Fatty McNerd boy.

  87. I enjoyed school, but all of my friends were one, two, or three years older – some more than three. So I really didn’t hang out with anyone in my class.

    I mean, we hung out in school, but that was about it. I had a job and a car, so most of them just seemed like kids.

  88. I had friends then, and we’ve lost touch, if any of them are still nearby I wouldn’t mind reconnecting.

  89. If you had friends, you should go.

  90. But be prepared for hot chicks saying in front of your wife, “I had such a crush on Leon, but was too shy to tell him. Now I wish I would have.”

    That shit is useless information to you, and hostile information to your bride.

  91. No one had a crush on fatty mcnerdleon in high school, Hotspur.

    There will almost certainly be a few who meet me again and wish they had, though.

  92. Dude, some of those fat mcnerdly chicks that you were in the A/V club with, metamorphosed into smoking hot women. Trust me.

  93. I don’t keep in touch with one single person from HS.

    There were 1000 kids in my class and I don’t know one of them. LOL

    You should go Leon. You’re super weird, and you should remind people that super weird fatties can slim down too. Still weird. Not fat.

  94. Leon’s not weird, he’s deep.

  95. He’s weird. His wife told me so.

  96. I missed my 10 year reunion because I was deployed to Afghanistan. Funny enough, a classmate of mine was also in Afghanistan, deployed to a neighboring province, I think.

    My class was 62-63 people, so we all knew each other fairly well. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of them again. Of the friends I had back then, one I still keep in occasional contact with through facedouche, and the other went hard lib and cut off all contact because I voted for Trump.

  97. Thanks Jimbro. Helga was a semi-finalist in the 2016 Boob-Offs.

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/04/01/bbf-56/

  98. There were only 200 or so in my graduating class, and 4 of them are already dead. I’ll be surprised if we have 100 of us at the reunion.

  99. I am weird. It was a hindrance in high school, it’s an asset now. I’d be terribly boring otherwise.

  100. I know one classmate who died, although I haven’t been told the circumstances. The bit I do know is that she apparently had a serious drinking problem.

  101. He’s weird. His wife told me so.

    HAH. I remember that, and I was day-drunk on a deck in Lapeer.

  102. I was day-drunk on a deck in Lapeer.

    Sounds like the beginning of a country song…

  103. One?

    I lost two before graduation.

  104. Dude, some of those fat mcnerdly chicks that you were in the A/V club with, metamorphosed into smoking hot women. Trust me.

    The most wallflower girl in my class is now a smokeshow MILF with an incredible ass.

  105. I missed my 50th, back in 2016. There were only about 300 of us, all male. More than a third are dead. I ran into a couple in the army, on their way to NCO School, then ‘Nam…

  106. Being weird is better, in the long run. Life would be so boring otherwise.

  107. “Leon’s not weird, he’s deep.”

    he’s deeply weird –
    you know who told me

  108. http://mindfulwebworks.com/radical/biden-orourke-2020

  109. Carin, I’m supposed to tell you Paula is doing The Open this year. No word on teams or what was waved in her face to join.

    sweet.

  110. Heh, Car in, got blocked in the Argument Room. Guess she didn’t like my facts!

    who blocked you? that’s against the rules.

  111. might just be privacy settings. But Paul blocked mikey and dan, and nothing happened to him.

  112. Blocking dan is completely understandable. He’s an idiot. Mikey seems to go on and off the sauce regarding his behavior.

  113. oh, and it was Coreen

  114. Trump had a barnburner of a rally, and Mini-me and I busted out laughing at “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” playing at the end.

  115. How was it roamy? Last rally I went to was Palin. High energy.

  116. Jay, I didn’t go to the rally, I just watched it on Fox News. It was fun to watch, a lot of the highlights from the State of the Union speech, some chants of “Lock her up!” when talking about Hillary, and some protestors getting kicked out (the crowd chanted “Nananana hey hey hey goodbye”).

  117. Lauraw, Yerba Buena, curandera shit, and “The Cure”. I have stories. 🤣🤣🤣 My Mom is waiting for the results of the biopsy, before going forward. I don’t Math. Bro told me 30# drained. His GF said 30L from one side of tumor, 25L from other. She is able to eat small meals. Long Haired Dachshund won Hound Group at Westminster. Beto had more journalists than supporters or antiTrumpers.

  118. MLG is facing impeachment polling over withdrawing NG from border. My “Fuck you, you knew what the cunt was when you voted for her” isn’t being received well at work. Sam’s shut down all of our GM’s Wish List. Looks like I’m keeping my job for the time being. He’s letting me work in books, bringing me in for signing, and I’m being recognized for Safety and Sales.

  119. Defeating everyone, Robbie prevailed.

  120. Robbie always was a troubled lad: wholesale slaughter is what it sounds like to me


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