Weekend Memes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

180 Comments

  1. https://tinyurl.com/yau7wdne

  2. Good job, Pupster. I snort-laughed at that last one.

  3. Sweet Baby Jayzus … I damn near bust a gut laughing as I scrolled down.

    I nominate this for the year’s best meme collection.

  4. TCM is one of my channels to check when I’ve exhausted sporting contest options.

  5. Excellent poat, Pups!

  6. wakey wakey. It was funny.

  7. Roamy’s kids never found her bondage gear.

  8. I think Erin’s finally over the mexican. Last night, there are these regulars (every friday) who have a kid her age. He’s in college, sport scholarship. I always liked him, and he used to have a crush on her. I don’t know why she… whatever.

    Anyay, the couple asked for me (they usually don’t, they’re not that type – but I’ve seen them sitting there looking kind of unhappy having other people wait on them) when Erin sat them.

    Erin told me to tell them that she’s single. Lol. Ok, erin. They basically LOVE erin (they don’t know her like we do). I don’t know that he’s not dating, but I gotta do what i can to get her dating better people.

    I made bank last night. Great tips and nice people all night.

  9. Did you find $20? Kidding, hopeful story.

    Guard weekend. I helped Possum fall asleep but slept in my own bed most of the night. This morning she said “I slept really good all by myself!” So that’s my parenting story.

  10. I did get several $20 tips. That counts, right?

  11. I slept really good in my bed too. So I’ve got that going for me.

  12. It’s always nice to start the first Saturday of the year with a smile and a “Pupster is SO going to hell”.

  13. Yesterday, my wife asked me to hand her her lipstick. I gave her a gluestick instead. She’s still not talking to me.

    (Good morning)

  14. If we can keep this up somehow, I might get to sleep with my wife again. That will be really weird after all this time.

  15. I slept really good all by myself!

    This is such a huge deal, big milestone! Congratulations!

    https://tinyurl.com/ycu3mavl

  16. No football until 4PM

  17. What are we supposed to do all day?

  18. Chores. Read a book. Plan a garden.

  19. So if “The Bulwark” is being funded by Carlos Slim…

    Did Mexico build the wall?

  20. “What are we supposed to do all day?”

    Nurse our unplanned hangover?
    Actually, i intend to take my buddy to lunch, then hit up the fishmonger. See what’s really fresh today. First day in forever with no rain – and it’s actually kinda pretty out there. The grill is calling my name.

  21. Good morning.

    Taking MIL for her first smart phone today. This is a very exciting time for a young lady in her late 80s. She’s an apple girl so I think she’ll be getting an iphone.

  22. Office Christmas party last night. Too loud, drinks were overpriced, and it was too crowded. Meh.

    Today I have to go to the gym, read, and do laundry. I should also try to get some drawing in as well.

  23. The sun is shining. The RFH family is gonna put some holes in some targets today, I think.

    Laughed at the MSNBC talking head who said that all the border patrol guys standing behind Trump at some press conference “want to keep America white”. At least one is Hispanic.

  24. A future Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer will be named after Jeremiah Denton. I’m good with that, much better than the USS Gabby Giffords or Harvey Milk.

  25. What’s the Bulwark Leon?

  26. The responses to Tucker Carlson’s rant the other night have been interesting, and have mostly proven his point, IMHO.

  27. Bulwark, Bullshit, to-may-to, to-mah-to

  28. Bulwark is Bill Kristol’s future failed publication funded by leftist moneymen.

  29. Todays IB moment – https://tinyurl.com/jxln44k

  30. Oh yeah, I suppose I read something about that at AoS. Hopefully I’ll just see it in posts where it’s laughed at in the future.

  31. Do you think Pooter and Cooter look and sound so much alike because the ‘instruments” that produce them are so close together? Discuss.

  32. *tackles clintsp*

    *wraps him in 650 sq ft of cellophane*

    *duct tapes him up under the floor joists*

  33. Nice video, Scott.

  34. I’m going to do laundry and watch Cyrano, which I found on the youtubes (thanks roamy!), on our smart teevee while working on a blanket for my daughter’s BFF’s baby shower.

    After I sit on the deck for some Vit. D.

  35. I’ve never known a woman who needs so much D.

  36. Crossfit. Break. Now I have to clean this shit-hole dump up.

    Afterward, maybe Saturday mass. This family needs some praying, and apparently I’m the only one up to the job.

    Hannah totalled a car last night. She’s fine. The perfectly fine car 24 hours ago? Not to much.

  37. Comment by Car in on January 5, 2019 1:03 pm
    Crossfit. Break. Now I have to clean this shit-hole dump up.

    How many times were you propositioned during crackfat? Round to the nearest dozen.

  38. Also, condolences about the perfectly fine car, but it’s good that Hannah is fine.

  39. Comment by Hotspur on January 5, 2019 12:56 pm
    I’ve never known a woman who needs so much D.

    I’m sure one day you’ll finally meet your mother.

  40. Crossfit is mostly women – lol. There’s a competition later this month at a nearby gym and it’s called “Chicks and DIcks” (male and female team). We don’t have enough “dicks”. I don’t really want to do it, so I didn’t take one of our precious males. One of the guys tried to get me team up with a friend at another gym, but I’m not interested. I’m more cardio, and these comps usually favor lifters.I don’t want to disappoint a stranger.

    They were most practicing for the competition, so I did deadlifts ( 245) and bench press (wussy amount).

  41. Glad Hannah is okay.

    Taking Possum to my sister’s house, then Confession, then horse feeding, then back to pick her up, then groceries most likely. We are out of some daughter essentials. Taking her to mass alone in the morning will be a bit of a chore, but I’ve chickened out on it too many times.

  42. Chicks and Dicks

    Paula’s does Hulks and Ninjas.

  43. Favorite grout cleaner … GO!

  44. Someone else?

  45. Glad Hannah is okay, too.

    I ended up talking to my dad for over an hour, so it was a hustle to get enough lunch ready in time for 10 people. I made a big pot of chicken and vegetable soup for everyone who came over for 2nd Amendment Day. Yay for Costco chicken tenderloins, frozen mixed vegetables, and a big bag of frozen biscuits. I added too much pepper, but it was still pretty good.

  46. Well yeah! I sent Paula a picture of Rowan eating a pig ear on the tile kitchen floor since it’s her weekend to work. Rather than the reply I expected she came back with “Can you pick up some grout cleaner? It’s really filthy!” Te things women notice, amirite?

  47. Now I got this going through my head.

  48. Got up this morning, had a coffee and drove 7 miles to the hardware store and discovered my debit card was still at home. So back and then up n back again. Then I attacked the debris filled yard, got back half cleaned up and burned and edged the sidewalk and drive cause I was having drainage issues. Now the front half awaits but I’ve had a nice sammich and think I’m going meditate for a hour or so….you know, visualize my steps through the project….that kinda thing….

  49. Colts v. Texans may need to be checked on occasionally rather than watched. The Longest Day is on AMC. Bastards!

  50. I played a little bit of Baldur’s Gate while my phone charged, went to the gym to do deadlifts, and grabbed dinner on the way home. Now more Baldur’s Gate and reading, plus some Russian practice.

  51. I need to meditate, too. I like that idea.

  52. TCM not AMC!

  53. Jerry Denton was a friend of my dad. I’ve seen entries in his logbooks where they flew together.

    PSAM’s P-51 is giving rides today, so I occasionally get to see and hear it go overhead.

  54. We used to regularly give our dogs pig ears but after saving Dorkus’ life for the fifth time we stopped. He would use his back teeth to saw through the ear as fast as he could, and then try to forcefully swallow half of it. He would keep sawing the ear up until he created a piece he could swallow. When he miscalculated his abilities, I’d hear him wheezing on it, literally walking around with a huge piece of hard pig ear stuck in his throat, turning him into a giant whistle, struggling to breathe. I had to force my hand down his throat and pull it out.

    Yet another reason we started calling him names other than his given name.

  55. It’s funny, Denton only died in ’14 but on hearing he was having a destroyer named after him, my reaction was “About damn time”.

    Jeremiah Denton was everything John McCain pretended to be. Except legit. Naturally he only got one term in the Senate, beat by that fucking opportunist Shelby (before Shelby switched parties). No justice in some things.

  56. So far they can handle the pig ears and bull pizzles except for the occasional gack. I can see a day when the pig ear party must stop though

  57. Has anyone told mj that walking around in skinny jeans with the cuffs rolled up doesn’t make him stand out in a good way?

  58. This nice person mr Clint makes a very astute observation. I will subscribe to his most informative news letter now.

  59. Our other cattle dog would just chew them, the way they’re supposed to. Didn’t try to saw them up into rough chunks and swallow them. He was such a dork.

  60. https://is.gd/mJGzfw

  61. https://tinyurl.com/y79977qw

  62. Worst game ever.

  63. This means the Patriots will face either the Chargers or Ravens next week.

    Patriots may be home underdogs.

  64. Good source of seeds in home garden size quantities for a lot less money: sampleseeds.com

    Kind of a hokey site, but they come pretty well recommended. Lots of variety, good mix-in of standard fare along with rare, foreign, and heirloom items.

  65. victoryseeds.com good too

  66. disclaimer: I personally have not ordered from them yet

  67. https://www.seedsavers.org/

  68. one of my favorites –
    these potatoes have a unique flavor
    https://www.seedsavers.org/all-blue-organic-potato

  69. Patriots will be lucky to make the AFC Championship game. Hopefully Colts find a way to beat the Chefs so it’ll be a home game for the Pats.

  70. That was a gruesome replay.

    *barfs*

  71. I missed that ankle injury. I heard Paula scream “OH!” from the other room but by the time I was looking it was on to commercial.

  72. Nice!

  73. uh, that was about seedsavers, not the gross ankle break that I just saw

  74. He was one the field face down.

    Left foot was pointed straight up.

  75. https://tinyurl.com/yczyad38

  76. You can see them both go in the replay.

    Think he can come back from this?

  77. The NFL turned into NASCAR so slowly I didn’t even notice.

  78. holy shit, that’s gonna leave a mark

  79. 27 years old, 5th year pro, maybe. Next year may not happen at all and, if it does, it’ll be late in the season. Gordon Hayward from the Celtics had something similar at the start of the 2017 season in the first game (there’s a ton of videos out there but it’s the same thing … foot pointing the wrong way). He’s playing this season and not at his previous level yet. As the season has progressed he’s improved his play.

  80. He’ll have it fixed tomorrow if it’s closed and tonight if it was open. They probably tried reducing it as they were putting the splint on if it was possible otherwise he’ll get some drugs for sedation and they’ll pop it back in place to take the tension off the skin and neurovascular bundle. Screws and plates for the fibula and medial malleolus if involved and a Tightrope like Tua had for his ankle. 3 months for the bone to heal If he has no complications he could begin rehab within 6-8 weeks for range of motion. Running and cutting on land within 4 to 5 months. Depends on his contract and the Cowboys other options if they decide to bring him back. I’m sure the NFLPA has rules about how they handle this stuff.

  81. His foot was pointing in the right direction when they carted him off the field.

  82. Roamy ♥ Jimbro. You make it sound better than it really is, so glad you do stuff like that. Not clicking on that video, the stillshot alone was gross.

  83. Great thing about sampleseeds is when 50 seeds are as good to you as 200, and you’d rather try several different varieties. Then you basically cut your budget in half.

  84. ugh, then they had to move it. Maybe it was causing the pain?

  85. Of course New Mexico has to beat Nevada by over 20, taking away our huge upset over Kansas today.

  86. Ouch. That replay was almost Theisman bad. Almost.

    In other news, cops found a meth lab in the woods today in Newport News. Not too far from Michael Vick’s old neighborhood. It hasn’t changed much. Right there in the city. A known homeless encampment.
    If you can’t afford a $250 apartment with running water & heat, how do you have $300 or more for the chemicals to make a batch of ice??

  87. Investors.

  88. If you can’t afford a $250 apartment with running water & heat, how do you have $300 or more for the chemicals to make a batch of ice??

    Harder to steal running water and heat than it is to steal chemicals.

  89. $250 apartments? Can’t even get one in the hood hereabouts…

  90. Did you know that those morons are injecting meth these days?
    I always thought that they just snorted or smoked the meth, but no – tweakers are booting that shit nowadays. It’s a crazy world out there!

  91. Oh yeah – in the hood around here, you can rent an 3 bedroom house for probably $600. Get section 8 involved, and a smart crackhead could actually make money.
    My buddy used to rent to section 8 folks. Once, when he started eviction proceedings, she came up with $100 worth of tampons to flush down the toilet overnight. Bitchh had more gold jewelry than my 80 yr old mother, but needed my tax dollars for rent.

  92. If you can’t afford a $250 apartment with running water & heat, how do you have $300 or more for the chemicals to make a batch of ice??

    They can afford a $250 apartment with running water and heat. They just choose not to rent one because they’d have to give up drugs.

  93. Oh, believe me Alex – I know..
    You might remember that i have personal experience with this. I tried renting a room to a the guy the got kicked out of next door when he was going to be on the streets.
    I knew he worked every day because his boss was my neighbor. What started as a $20 per day experiment became $100 per week I think. Still couldn’t afford it!
    That habot was too expensive & he would rather live in a tent than have a clean room with a bed and tv, a shower & toilet. Hell, i like to cook, so I even fed him for free most days!
    Nope. He’d rather chase that crystal dragon.

  94. LOL, Jay. But would he be proud of his country?

  95. I notice you said he. Are you referring to Michelle?

  96. Don’t expect romantic passion.

  97. Insomnia again. At least I can push through to tonight and go to bed early.

  98. Gave up trying. Up early in a quiet house. Making coffee. Hope not to wake anybody but I probably did. This place squeaks and creaks a lot.

  99. It’s good though, I can plan my day. Lot of odds and ends that need attention.

  100. Did I ever tell you guys that pilsner glasses make the best little flower vases? It’s true. It’s the shape. The flowers nearly arrange themselves.

    I bought a box of cheap pils glasses years ago and have always been happy with them. Sometimes people return them, sometimes not. I still have one or two hanging around here somewhere.

  101. I’d like to talk about Sean’s genius with the derp every day. How does he do it? Does he start with the d, or the erp? I’ve tried to work backwards through those things a couple of times and if your mind isn’t in the right creative place it can be a bear.

  102. I already did an hour on the treadmill. Next is a run to the store and then mass. If my knee is ok this afternoon I’ll go to tango class. Then maybe the range tonight and another hour on the treadmill and some heavy bag work before bed.

  103. low fruit detected

  104. Oh my God will these people wake up already? I need to get started with my day. Having respect for sleeping people just sucks. So inconvenient.

    *drops a book by accident*

    Oopsie-doodles. Whoops. Sorry.

  105. Also, You People. You People are awake too. But faking sleep. This kind of shit is why Carin hates you.

  106. I’m this close to donning the little grey wig and skort. And nobody wants that. Thiiiiiis cloooooossse.

  107. fuckit, I’m going back to bed

  108. wakey wakey

  109. Whew, finally! I thought she’d never leave.

  110. Our pilsner glasses live with the wine glasses on one of the top shelves in a kitchen cabinet. Glasses from that shelf are used maybe once or twice a year. We have some vase that came with flowers ages ago that gets used for any flowers that come through here.

  111. She slept a solid 9 hours alone in her own bed.

    If only I had too.

  112. She’s doing her part.

  113. Your mom starts with the D.

  114. She slept a solid 9 hours alone in her own bed.

    Yay!

  115. oy!!

  116. We’ve had light snow then light rain which is still falling. The road to the dump had a coating of ice and slush and the road crews just ran a sand truck down the center to hit both lanes. Hopefully rain stops soon.

  117. Lindsey Graham is killing it on Face the Nation.

  118. https://tinyurl.com/y87pdf4p

  119. LOL, I slept to 11. Dammit.

  120. Lazy Bones.

  121. Must have needed it, I had two cups of coffee in me and then crashed hard for three hours. I think I was asleep before I hit the pillow.

  122. Laura, I feel asleep as well and slept for about four hours.

    My lower abs hurt something fierce after yesterday’s workout. I don’t want to try to stand up or do anything.

  123. Scott, what’s he saying?

    Also, who is he and what has he done with the real Lindsey Graham?

  124. Pretty cool story, youtube video seen at knuckledraggin’

    https://tinyurl.com/ydfbt6nw

  125. Graham basically called Pelosi crazy, and said that he and Trump wouldn’t negotiate with crazy people.

  126. Saw Cajun Crab Dip and the grocery store and pounced on it.

  127. I’m feeling like a huge baby today about sharing my kitchen. This person is in my life to teach me something but I am steadfastly refusing to learn…whatever it is.

    *folds arms and pouts*

  128. I am not allowed in the kitchen when HotBride is in there.

  129. *invents Cajun Clam Dip*

    Jimbubba’s Clam Dip: “Savor the taste of low tide on the bayou”

  130. “Savor the taste of low tide on the bayou”

    No fair stealing your mom’s marketing pitch.

  131. Chargers-Patriots for next weekend. I’m sure they’re studying the Ravens near comeback for a game plan.

  132. Early line favors Patriots by 4.5 points.

    I find that really hard to believe.

  133. https://tinyurl.com/y7rnj5gx

  134. I’m not buying that. What’s that thing they always say with mutual funds? “Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results” … close enough. Like every Patriots team in the past, I won’t believe it until the clock counts down to 00:00.

  135. I expect it to drop a couple of points by gametime.

  136. We’ve had our first snowmobile fatality of 2019. Guy was a 57 yo local up in Long Pond who was sober. That’s usually reserved for a drunk yahoo from Massachusetts.

  137. Someone from the Eagles should have touched that ball.

    Slackers. It was a catch FFS.

  138. It’s either a catch, or not. Bears got hosed. NFL has some explaining to do.

  139. I am ok with it. The bears didn’t recover the fumble.

    Why do they deserve to get the ball there?

  140. Running on the generator, finally. Us, and 323,000 of our closest friends lost power at o’dark 30 when the winds hit 60mph and blew trees out of the totally saturated soil.
    Gonna have to get an electric start gen-set. My 70 year-old back is having trouble pull-starting that 10hp B&S.
    Looking at the outage-map, they are not even working in this part of the county. No estimated restoration time.
    No power (out here) means no water.
    I still prefer it to the city…

  141. Pulling for you, Chrispy! (SWIDT)

  142. I think the Bears got screwed by losing the down.

  143. Glad you have backup power, ChrisP. I’m sure you’re prepped for the whole situation.

  144. Scott, if either team picks it up, it’s a catch. If they don’t it isnt. How can subsequent actions determine the previous outcome?

    Still stupid not to pick up every loose ball.

  145. You can’t determine possession if nobody picks it up.

    Schrodinger’s catch.

  146. Goes to spot of the fumble, last team to have possession.

    The new tuck rule.

  147. That will probably be the solution.

  148. Bears are getting tired.

  149. The other option would be to rule it like they do on touchdowns. The receiver must control the ball going to the ground for it to be a catch.

    I find it amazing that they don’t have a rule for that situation.

    How has that not happened before?

  150. That wouldn’t work. Forget that I said it.

  151. Wow. It doesn’t get any closer than that.

  152. That tuck rule call was so pivotal. If it’s a fumble, Raiders go to the Super Bowl, Brady choked and lost the game, Vinatieri doesn’t get a chance to kick, etc. So many fortunes changed on that ridiculous rule/call.

  153. Waves at J’ames. The Lobos are bipolar this year. I’ll be wearing my Whalers jersey in PHX and LV. Bears kicker will live in infamy. 🤣🤬

  154. Dan is steaming the tamales. (Not a euphemism)

  155. One of the few times “icing the kicker” actually worked.

    https://mixpanel.com/blog/2016/11/22/nfl-data-icing-the-kicker/

  156. TL;DR. TOO MUCH MATH! 🤓

  157. “Dan is steaming the tamales”

    Did he take the plastic off?

  158. Comment by osoloco11 on January 6, 2019 8:30 pm
    Dan is steaming the tamales. (Not a euphemism)

    Narrator: It was, in fact, also a euphamism.

  159. Tough crowd! Tamales get unwrapped after they are steamed! No plastic. Dan had never heard the old joke that the reason Mexicans have tamales for Christmas is so they have something to unwrap. Every Mexican he told the joke to, knew the punchline.

  160. I never heard that one either, but we don’t have Mexican jokes here because there weren’t any Mexicans until pretty recently.

    Very droll. And also, ES RACISTA!!

  161. Si! Muy racista! Te bueno and funneh!

  162. Even the Natives at work recognize that mi familia had it worse than Rez life. I tell pretty funny cabrito and el Cordero stories.

  163. Bro code is weak. Oso speak is lit af

  164. Good night.

  165. Co worker didn’t know the Clenis was a D🐀. Kid didn’t know Clinton was President. Ever. I started giving him a brief history lesson. He apologized for his teachers. He told me Hillary wa# EVIL.

  166. Been a busy day, nice to unwind now. Wish I was going to work tomorrow but hopeful that Trump will hang tough on the wall.

    We blessed the house for Epiphany, then I promptly desecrated it by making chili. Rocketboy, Mr. RFH, and FDIL are nearly recreating the beans (not beasn) scene from Blazing Saddles.

  167. Daily expectations require persistence

  168. j’bro with the save!

  169. we/ve got an ice and snow warning for this evening.
    that;ll be fun.

  170. Tuesday-Wednesday for snow around here. As the weather people say “It’s going to be a plowable event” (much like your mom). School unlikely to be canceled.

  171. I’m just waiting for Bolshevik Barbie to say in an interview, “I know you are, but what am I?” or “Neener neener.”

  172. Insomnia then lethargy. Going to be a little later than usual.

  173. I’m amazed that everyone left on time this morning. End of Christmas vacation is usually more painful than this.

    First world problems – I like my new fridge, but, dang, is it loud. The compressor turning on sounds like a truck cranking up, and I can hear the icemaker upstairs.


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