Funny Words

Scientists have determined the 10 funniest words in the English language. “Upchuck, bubby, boff, wriggly, yaps, giggle, cooch, guffaw, puffball, and jiggly: the top 10 funniest words in the English language, according to a new study by University of Alberta psychology experts.” [https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/11/181127131537.htm]

http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fxge0000467

These eggheads obviously haven’t spent any time hanging around this place.

9781429956161_p0_v2_s550x406

Upchuck

umuc0mu

Bubby

the-odds-of-your-kids-nicknames-being-bubby-and-sissy-13122864

Boff

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Wriggly

mealworms

Yaps

tenor_large

Giggle

p5sng

Cooch

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Guffaw

giphy

Puffball

giphy1

Jiggly (Hoo boy, lots of NSFW on the jiggly search)

giphy2

See what I’m saying? They might provoke a little chuckle but they’re hardly pee-your-pants funny in isolation. A lot depends on the delivery. We all know people who have the gift of humor and they could tell you a story about going to get the mail and leave you in stitches.

marktwain1-2x

I am truly blessed to associate with you hosefuckers

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124 Comments

  1. leon shaved his puffballs for this

  2. pussyfoot

  3. http://tinyurl.com/y92zawkx

  4. http://tinyurl.com/yaoc7k3n

  5. http://tinyurl.com/7uonyyu

  6. http://tinyurl.com/yba95o3t

  7. http://tinyurl.com/y93r5nbl

  8. mare!!!!!!!!!
    http://tinyurl.com/o7xwp3j

  9. http://tinyurl.com/y97kmfek

  10. http://tinyurl.com/y87p398v

  11. http://tinyurl.com/cutul4f

  12. this one:
    http://tinyurl.com/69oxwol

  13. http://tinyurl.com/cgo6u7

  14. I’ll have one of what Jam’s having

  15. ive got to write a eulogy today.
    i’m kinda not into it

  16. time wasters:

    https://theuselessweb.com/

  17. and this:

    https://weirdorconfusing.com/

  18. ahhhite – i’ve off gassed in here long enough

  19. Those “scientists” are fucking maroons.
    I ‘ve e thinly hope no tax dollars were spent on that so called study – even if it was from those backwoods canucks.

  20. Plus the media lies about minimum wage as it applies to tipped employees. They always report that the minimum hourly wage for tipped employees is lower than the normal minimum wage.

    What they don’t report is that if the combination of wages and tips doesn’t bring the employee’s wage to the higher minimum, the employer has to increase the wages so that they do.

    Yea, well, restaurants have a way of working around that. Some of the shady things I’ve had employers do. Where I work now they are illegally making us supplement kitchen employees who are not legally entitled to tips – we have to tip them out. I’ve pointed out several times that this is NOT legal.

  21. Oschi loves the satin balls. She’s normally a very gentle hand-eater, but she jumped to get it a few times and actually bit my hand once. I was honestly shocked (she’s usually abnormally good about it). I had to calm her down a bit.

  22. I know better than to click on Jam’s links, but I do it anyway. The koala one was a good one, thanks.

  23. I put this up on facedouche, but it’s so good I’m sharing it here:

    “Women need iron. Not the vitamin. The barbell. We are trained by the world around us to have fucked up ideas about our bodies; iron unfucks them. We are taught that the only good direction for the scale to go is down, and to agonize ritualistically when it goes up. Iron teaches us the power of gaining weight for strength and gives us another weight to care about – the weight we are lifting.

    We are taught to think of our bodies as decorative, an object to be looked at; iron teaches us to think of our bodies as functional, our own active selves, not passive objects for another’s regard. Whole industries exist to profit by removing from us our confidence and selling it back as external objects. Iron gives us confidence from within through progressive training and measurable achievements.

    We are taught to be gentle and hide our strength or even to cultivate charming physical weakness until we start to believe our bodies are weak. Iron teaches us how strong we can be.” @steficohen

  24. Nice work Jimbro. If that whole doctor thing doesn’t work out, you might have a future as a professional gif poster.

  25. I think moist is a funny word. I mean, not so much the word, but the jokes you can make about it.

  26. day off and I made no plans

    Really happy about it too. I did way too much work on my last days off.

    Phew! wheeeeee!

    *looks around and starts writing to-do list*

  27. Lady Thor is cultural appropriation from the Nordic peoples.

  28. I picked up a bartending day shift today. We’ll see how this goes.

  29. Woman is suing Southwest because the gate agent made fun of her daughter’s name. Daughter’s name is Abcde. When did we start naming kids bad passwords?

  30. Jam, I kept scrolling. heh.

    Went out to a local favorite, Ale House, the first time in 3 months at a restaurant. I’ve been wanting to control what I eat and my husband was carnivore so it didn’t make sense to go out.

    He’s eating different things now, but he’s lost a lot of weight 9-10 pounds. He wants more muscle, he’s definitely lean enough to see a six pack.

    I’m wondering if he should take more than one day a week off from lifting for recovery.

  31. Crevice is a funny word. Well, maybe not funny more like icky.

  32. Former co-worker named his daughter Smiley with no middle name. I tried hard to talk him out of it.

  33. I’m not wasting a precious moment of today on politics. It’s been a rough few days at work and my mind needs to rest on beautiful things.

  34. People are idiots.

    Smiley is a nickname.

  35. I do like that old joke about the Indians naming their kids the first thing they see when they walk out of the maternity tent.

    “Why, yes, Two Dogs Humping.”

  36. If Rosetta were here he’d yell Taco fest!!

  37. Wife to husband: “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”

    Husband: “No.”

    The wife gives him a sexy little smile, unbuttons the top three buttons of her blouse, and slowly reaches down into her beautiful cleavage framed by a soft and silky push-up bra, pulling out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

    The husband takes the crumpled bill from her and smiles approvingly.

    Wife: “Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?”

    Husband: “No, I haven’t,” he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

    The wife again gives a sexy smile and pulls up her skirt, revealing a sexy pair of black panties, from which she pulls a crumpled up fifty dollar bill and hands it to her husband, whose heart is now beating faster in anticipation.

    Wife: “Now, have you ever seen fifty thousand dollars all crumpled up?”

    Husband (with heart racing even faster): “No. I can’t say as I have.”

    Wife: “Go look in the garage.”

  38. Heck, even “Miley” is supposed to be a nickname for Emily.

  39. Being gone two weeks before and during Thanksgiving has put me on edge like I’m forgetting something. This short trip to Vero is poorly timed. If I don’t go I’ll fly a giant flag on my husband’s truck get a bullhorn and yell Hotspur’s name around the streets of Pass-a-Grill.
    (it’s small enough where that would actually work)

    My husband did a bunch of nice projects around the house while I was gone. Cleaned the carpets, added new shelves to the garage and organized everything, added lights on a timer to a couple of trees that look great at night. I thought he would have picked a Christmas tree and put it up. Now we need to get that done tout suite.

    Sorry, I’m being more boring than usual…TIS THE SEASON!!!

  40. Panties is an icky word.

  41. Pantywaist.

  42. I have to go outside and take care of the chickens.

    BUT IT’S COLD OUTSIDE.

    I’m going to put on 8 layers.

  43. Naming your kidd-o something stupid is straight up abusive.

  44. You should be punched in the face for it.

  45. I tell ya, this season always has two conflicting feelings for me. One, the old meanings, and just the idea of being together with family. Two, the hypercommercialized superconsumerist spectacle of a clusterfuck it’s mutated into. SO naturally my love of the original version and loathing of the shambling shell that it’s become do battle every year at this time, anniversaries of parental passings notwithstanding.

    Fortunately, this year the “love of season” seems to be ahead. I may actually get a small fake tree and put some decor on it this weekend!

  46. https://tinyurl.com/ybef3oss

  47. https://tinyurl.com/yd6ltmma

  48. Comment by jam2 on November 29, 2018 9:36 am
    You should be punched in the face for it.

    ———-

    Mare and Jam are simpatico.

  49. I’m not wasting a precious moment of today on politics. It’s been a rough few days at work and my mind needs to rest on beautiful things.

    Oh no, what’s going on at work?

  50. Two holidays happen on Dec 25, just as in Roman times. The pagans have “Giftmas” now just as they once had Sol Invictus. The Left and the Muslim hordes in Europe are trying to obliterate both, so I’m considerably more sanguine about the overlapping pagan holiday as I age.

  51. Yeah, I could see that, if I didn’t feel like Spendmas was created to help smother and kill Christmas and leave the Left/Islam a clearer path.

  52. I’m naming my next baby BMW X6.

  53. I’m naming my next baby Oops.

  54. I see poorly considered names on kids on a regular basis. Has to be pretty bad for me to even blink an eye now.

  55. You can’t get a man pregnant even if they identify as a woman, HS.

  56. Ironically, Spendmas was allegedly originally created because the (ahem, mostly protestant) American population of the early 1900s was treating Christmas as a huge drinking holiday because they had the day off, and the stores that wanted to sell presents made a huge marketing push to turn it into a sober, family get-together occasion that also included gift-buying, like Thanksgiving++.

  57. I love buying gifts for my family and friends. My immediate family is so appreciative of everything, it’s a joy to give to them. We have a blast on Christmas morning.

    A truly life-changing deal was the year when my oldest was about 5 and not even looking at her gifts and just wanting to open another I said next year one gift and that’s what I did. I realized I was stealing the joy out of getting the one thing they really wanted. (And making them greedy little bastards.)

    Now they are adults and I enjoy getting them whatever strikes my fancy. When I ask if they want anything they always sincerely say no.

  58. I try to keep gifting to Possum limited. Grammy and Grampy like to spoil her.

  59. If I didn’t enjoy shopping for, spending for, wrapping etc., I would not do it. It’s a drudge then and not Christmasy at all.

  60. Work is fine, I just put in a few extra hours at a sleep-depriving time of day, plus we have a load of really acute patients all on the unit at the same time. I need some quietude.

  61. Finally made a big batch of duxelles with that crate of crimini mushrooms I bought around Thanksgiving. The food processor made it so much easier. House smells like toasted mushrooms and sherry.

    I absolutely have to make something with this before I freeze it all.

  62. House smells like toasted mushrooms and sherry.

    I’m sorry. *sends Frebreeze

  63. I have duxelles. I have brie. I have prosciutto. I have phyllo dough. This could be a thing that’s happening. Like little folded packets baked in the oven?

  64. Or maybe something with this butternut squash. Hmm.

  65. Or I could just sit here drinking coffee and resist productivity.

  66. Sounds like ravioli needs to happen.

  67. Yeah, I’m starting to get really annoyed with work.

    Right now, no requests coming in for Medicaid analysis. Great, I can get caught up on other projects, except that I can’t get any guidance on how these projects are normally done. No guidance on what needs to be done. When I try to take initiative and get analysis requests off my plate, I get told “oh, you shouldn’t work on that, it’s an old request.” When I submit analysis, I don’t get any feedback so I never know how much they’re going to change until I get the final product that my boss and her boss have both made massive revisions to, etc.

  68. I have duxelles. I have brie. I have prosciutto. I have phyllo dough. This could be a thing that’s happening. Like little folded packets baked in the oven?

    Sounds like someone needs to make Beef Wellington.

  69. I’ve never made Beef Wellington but it’s on the big list. Not today, too much work.

    Just tried the duxelles piled on a little piece of brie, and nope. The brie completely overpowers the earthy flavor of the shrooms, you can hardly taste them.

    Ravioli, Jay?

  70. I would think small portions of prosciutto, brie, and mushroom encased in dough (I use noodle dough, but phyllo should work) and either boiled, fried, or deep fried would be quite tasty.

  71. Cunt is a fun word. At least it is when Hotspur uses it on Hillary.

  72. Fried? Interesting…

  73. Fried cunts with brie

  74. Wonder what wine goes with that?

  75. Something moist

  76. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 29, 2018 10:56 am
    I try to keep gifting to Possum limited. Grammy and Grampy like to spoil her.

    ———-

    Very appropriate.

  77. I was decluttering (big word for going through my old shit) and ran across my old CD organizer. Fooking Ted Nugent ROCKED on Double Live Gonzo. If I gotta pick a werd my werd is “poontang”

  78. “Something moist”
    With a greasy finish.

  79. I also found my micro mp3 player I had overseas, needs a new battery but I think Im going to load it with some new stuff and use at the physical training facility.

  80. stranglehold, ttroy

  81. I have an iPod Shuffle somewhere. That was amazing tech at the time

  82. I bought double live gonzo when I was in college and living in the dorm. Everybody in my unit got to listen to it nightly.

  83. Waffle.

    Funny word.

  84. Me reviewing wine for mare and HS

  85. killed it with wine

  86. Sorry, another busy, shitty day here. Keeps my commenting slower than Hillary’s exoskeleton.

  87. Whoa, CNN actually fired Marc Lamont Hill.

  88. What is celibacy?

  89. What for?

  90. Hill openly called for armed violence

  91. I’m on my phone so can’t find a link for you.

  92. He’s such an incredible douche. Yet I am surprised they fired him. He checks most of the boxes.

  93. He repeated a boilerplate Palestinian slogan calling for Israel to be wiped out. Not to mention a history of other very, very questionable tweets and statements.

    Eh, he’ll be on MSNBC by Tuesday.

  94. Comment by Jay in Ames on November 29, 2018 2:45 pm
    Me reviewing wine for mare and HS

    ———

    Jay that was great! I liked how her hair evolved during the video. That’s pretty much me, except the maudlin part in the end, I’m a happy drunk.

  95. Called for Peace in Palestine, from the river to the sea.

    That is a saying for pushing all the jews into the ocean, starting at the Jordan river.

    He “says” he meant going back to pre 1967 borders. Uh huh.

  96. Pretty much like a white person using the N word in it’s intended usage.

  97. The wine spit take is me at the Four Seasons bar in Maui when I hear the wine by the glass price.

    *This year my sweet brother gave me a $200 gift certificate to the Four Seasons (great view, beautiful Hula during drinks and puu puus) so I could get drinks and puu puus on my birthday without sipping wine like it was from the Holy Grail.

  98. Besides my brother being so cool, during this same trip, a friend of my husband’s bought us a dinner show (an excellent singer/storyteller who does local Hawaiian favorites and other songs– she is regularly in Las Vegas). It included drinks, dinner, dessert tip…everything. Why? Just because he wanted us to go there and see this show. And he loves us.

    The generosity of people astounds me sometimes.

  99. Look at Pupster’s face:

    https://tinyurl.com/y76x6gwo

  100. Mare, that’s so wonderful! I love it when family are good to each other.

  101. For Leon and Car in, a quote I saw on FB:

    “Currently I think every woman/girl should be some kind of strength model, and should own a tractor. It builds good character and makes you feel capable of anything! Keep up the good work.”

  102. Mare, I need the pupper and the hedgehog. Needz. When are you going to Maui? St Therese in Kihei is amazing.

  103. If a woman has her own tractor, what’s she need me for?

  104. Spiders and jars.

  105. To keep the tractor running. Sometimes it’s a challenge.

  106. Comment by leoncaruthers on November 29, 2018 8:54 pm
    If a woman has her own tractor, what’s she need me for?

    Orgasms and a spotter.

  107. Yeah, the only reason we’re hooked up with you guys is for tractor maintenance, actually. Please shut up about this, you’ll spook the marks.

  108. Watching football, this is ridiculous. Dallas playing great in the first half. New Orleans can’t actually lose, so penalties on every play against Dallas and New Orleans doesn’t get called at all. As bad as the NBA.

  109. Test

  110. It was a day. I’ll tell you what.

  111. KENO!

    My salad has onions on it.

  112. I didn’t Christmas my pic. MaryAnn is my 15 year old princess. Look at her beauty. Mira

  113. I will not get involved in FB family drama. I will not get involved in FB family drama. I will not get involved… (repeat until it sticks)

  114. Three very brief rain showers here today.

  115. My mom just sent me a text about Seinfeld being tied to the garage. Tied in front. My mom didn’t apologize about tying me to the clothesline. Made joke about guy tied to the front

  116. Once I was diagnosed with Aspergers, I’ve learned to forgive my mom’s abuses. She didn’t know. She did everything she knew, to keep me alive. The Navy Drs that saw Munchausen by proxy were ahead of their time and probably saved me.

  117. We went to ABQ today. Sam’s club food sample people were mostly over 90. It was scary, they were not enthusiastic. I was afraid they were going to collapse.

  118. Renaissance Sam’s?

  119. cross Mark bought out the Demo peeps. Can’t even fill the contract. Taste of Sam’s ended up short at least 7 people.

  120. Yep, Oso.

  121. Oso. Indian count?

  122. Detectives entrapped Rebecca’s plumber.


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