Just Pecking Away

So one might think that a “Pecking Away” post might be about the latest currency of exchange for a maudlin teen child being bartered to a man for chickens, but one would be wrong.

Alas another important study has shown a disturbing trend  in the course of events for the American male.

 

I probably should have titled the post “Pining for Pecker”

or

Pecker Paucity Pronounced

or

“Male Members Melting”

anyway –

Shocking Study Alert!!!!!™

****FDA approves smaller condoms for American men because regular ones are too big****

A positive spin on this might be that not all men are just big dicks

Anyway, I suppose it’s time for all y’all to drop your cocks and grab your sox

go get something done

IMPORTANT UPDATE FOR THE RACIST PECKERWOOD THAT FOWLED THE HEADER STUFF UP:

161 Comments

  1. wakey wakey

  2. Day 5 of hunger strike, Carin?

  3. Bah leargh. Up early this morning to try and beat the neighbor dogs to the yard, they’ve been leaving their dogs out all day since they got their carpets cleaned. Nessie won’t tolerate them at the fence line. I can walk her out on a leash and take care of number one, but she will not squat when on a leash, and if there are dogs around she will hold it until doomsday.

  4. If she makes it to 6 she’ll beat my record.

  5. Neighbors with dogs are the worst, amiright?

  6. Rowan is the same way Pups. Every summer when we move up to camp there’s a transition to On-Leash-Pooping. Star’s trick is to drop a steamer just far enough away from camp that you need to carry it in the poopbag for an embarrassingly long time.

  7. Erin ate half a lunch I made her yesterday. And she did actually shower and fix her hair (while I was at work) so perhaps she’s getting better by small steps.

    I had a dog that would NEVER poop on a leash. Ever.

  8. I dangled doing something today she really wants done (or has for a while). Hopefully she will leave the house for something other than work.

  9. Stepson and family visited over the weekend –
    No iPhone charging cables left in their normal spots. I may have to sic carin on them.

  10. Other random item – I’m sitting in a parking lot waiting to go in to a meeting and some young ish chick is in a truck next to me changing her shirt ….
    Or rather shirts

  11. Three shirts and counting.
    She takes a selfie after each quickchange.

  12. Not sure what that’s about

  13. Instagram.

  14. Quit just sitting there and go rape her.

  15. You should peck on her window

  16. Star’s trick is to drop a steamer just far enough away from camp that you need to carry it in the poopbag for an embarrassingly long time.

    Yesterday on our walk, I discovered a dead rabbit. So we went home, and Elliot got walk #2, to go collect said rabbit, since it’s trash day. Got the bags and a glove, put the rabbit in and headed home.

    I was struck by what a sight that must be, little 25# dog, owner carrying a grocery bag with gloves, and a big load inside. They must wonder what I’m feeding him.

  17. Sharepoint ain’t the only MS Office charlie foxtrot. Outlook 365 is a memory hog the likes of which I’ve not seen. Had to “upgrade” to 365 apps at work because security crap and now stuff I used to have open at once without skipping a step causes things to come grinding to a halt.

    God as my witness, Microsoft has the laziest fucking optimization EVER.

  18. “Neighbors with dogs are the worst, amiright?”

    No, oversharing the mundane is.

  19. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CLINT!!!?

  20. All of Office is shit anymore, Cavil. Even Excel has bugs they won’t admit to and has lost features over the years.

  21. Oversharing is all I’ve got.

    Did I tell you guys about this weird rash I have?

    [gives space for the jokes]

  22. I thought the oversharing is what makes this place interesting.

  23. Office is fantastic. You’re all turds in the punchbowl.

  24. If I thought I could get away with changing my personal apps at work to OpenOffice I’d do it yesterday.

  25. Calc >>>> Excel

  26. *Giggles.*

  27. So last night, I’m getting ready for bed and Pat wakes up and asks me what I’m doing.

    “Getting ready for bed”

    “Then why are you putting on your work clothes?”

    “Uhm … I’m taking them OFF. Because I just got home from WORK. ”

    “Oh … right” …

    Oh well, I though it was funny.

    $20.

  28. I’m stuck in training all day.

    Pray for Oso.

  29. I pray for all the Hostages regularly. Even Clint.

  30. Health Database new user training…

  31. Sounds purgatorial.

  32. Thanks for reminding me of the mandatory training I have to finish this week. Blah.

  33. “I pray for all the Hostages regularly. “
    Thanks

  34. The prayers of a righteous man availeth much.

    Unfortunately you’ve got me.

  35. You know what will make you feel old?

    The day your daughter turns fifty.

  36. important pecking update pecked out

  37. Poor Hotspur

  38. For those of you who do pray, and I consider you punchbowl floaters good prayers, I would like you to pray for my youngest daughter to meet her lifetime man. I pray and my husband prays but I’m hoping the, “where two or MORE….” kicks it up a notch.

    My youngest is not dating anyone right now and she is exceptional in about every area. But she does travel a lot so it’s hard hitting that lifetime partner target. I want her to find the guy now so they have time to get to know each other, get engaged, married and have babies before it’s too late.

    I like Ace’s prayer thread. Holy crap, so many people have so many heart breaking things to pray for. Mine is not life and death just something we want including my daughter.

  39. Unfortunately you’ve got me.

    ——-
    HA! You’ll do, Leon!

  40. Matter of fact, I’m counting on you!

  41. Mare, don’t be so eager.

    You can always get a puppy.

  42. a brisket grilled cheese is a good source of carbs

  43. mare seems more like a cat lady

  44. I can have cats, puppies and grandchildren!

  45. If college students are unable to cope with certain ideas and statements, how is it that we grant the vote at 18 years old. At 18 you’re basically a high school senior, and we consider that old enough to vote?

    I think we need to raise the voting age to 26.

  46. All kidding aside, this is not about grandchildren, my daughter would like to meet a great guy. She wants a family and I want her to have one. It was certainly fulfilling for me.

    So many young people today don’t care about having kids or getting married or any of that stuff.

  47. Agree, Hotspur. I don’t think you should vote unless you pay taxes.

  48. Anyone else think Soros overplayed his had with this caravan crap before the midterms?

    It’s fired up the “CLOSE THE BORDERS” base and I see it backfiring completely.

  49. Saw Lars the Barn Cat dead on the side of the road when I left for the gym. No barn cats left, and we have to explain another one to Possum in the same month. Ugh.

    Time to go dig another grave.

  50. Mare, introduce her to CoAlex….. 2 birds, etc.

  51. limit the number of voters to 1/3 of the eligiable pop and auction off voting rights annually.

  52. Oh, Leon, damn it, so sorry about the kitties.

  53. We fly out tomorrow to Prague, then we head to the Danube at Passau, then Linz, then Krems, Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest, then home on the 4th.

    Essited.

  54. Hotspur, have a wonderful trip and don’t let the gypsies steal your money.

  55. An aside, my aforementioned daughter is a practicing Catholic.

  56. Nearly every youtube video I’ve seen of major European capitals warns of pickpockets.

  57. My wife and I spent two days in Prague last fall. Definitely not enough time to see it all. She’s saving every 💰she can find so we can go back. It’s a magnificent city.

  58. Yeah, a lot of bump and grab. They’re pretty skilled.

  59. I’ve never been to Prague. Lots of other European cities. If I hadn’t lost my desire to travel outside the US that would be in my top five.

  60. They say the taxi drivers there will fuck you tears if you’re not careful. We had our hotel book it for us since they know who is reputable and who isn’t.

  61. I have a few kitties that should go visit their uncle Leon.

  62. An aside, my aforementioned daughter is a practicing Catholic.

    I will pray that she meets Alex.

    I have a few kitties that should go visit their uncle Leon.

    How old?

  63. We spend three days in Prague, but only one day each in all of the other cities. I’m thinking of blowing off Bratislava and Budapest as one day in Vienna is just not going to be enough.

    It’s a river cruise but the water levels in Europe are at historic lows, so there’s a possibility we’ll end up going by coach parts of the way, which is not what we were really wanting to do.

    Global warming.

  64. Spent a couple of days in Prague in ’91 on a European trip. We spent one night in an older couple’s house, 4 of us piled into their son’s room and another night at a hostel. It was so soon after the fall of communism that I’m sure it’s quite different now. One of my memories of that trip was the guitar players on the Charles Bridge who all seemed to know the same song, Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here.

  65. have a few kitties that should go visit their uncle Leon.

    How old

    I was just making a bad joke. I have too many cats.

  66. Okay. I’ve still got a mountain of hay and an undefended barn, but also an aching heart. Traps are almost never enough, so we might have to find another cat or two.

  67. I will pray that she meets Alex.

    ——–

    NOOOOOOOO! I know too much!!

  68. No, you know just enough. If Possum were in her 20s, I’d want her to meet him, if only just to figure out if there was any chemistry there. He’s a good man and I have no doubt he’d treat her as well as I could hope.

  69. Heck, I’ve told Carin to sell Erin to him a dozen times. It’d be to her benefit, I’m sure.

  70. Is Alex a practicing Catholic?

  71. What’s her occupation that requires frequent travel? I’m not sure how most other men feel but I’d prefer a woman who only traveled for work a couple/few times a year.

  72. Is Alex a practicing Catholic?

    Last I heard he was at least trying to be.

  73. I don’t know that I’m going to get Erin out of the house ever again.

    Tuesday Status – dismal.

  74. Tranq dart and a crate with holes?

  75. But where would I take her?

    I mean, would Alex take her in her current state? unshowered, and an old fluffy robe?

  76. I mean, would Alex take her in her current state? unshowered, and an old fluffy robe?

    You’re right, I’m sure he’d reject her as unfashionable and smelly.

  77. Yeah, a lot of bump and grab. They’re pretty skilled.

    =============

    Sounds like a date with your mom…….

  78. Unshowered and in an old robe is a no-go. I’m willing to make an exception for showered with a pair of flannel pj bottoms and a wife-beater t-shirt.

  79. Comment by mare on October 23, 2018 3:06 pm
    Is Alex a practicing Catholic?

    Hit and miss at times. The recent stupidity inside the church has been disheartening, and the general leftwing nuttiness of churches in California discouraged me from attending every Sunday, but I’m trying to get back into regular mass attendance here.

  80. I hope and pray that what we’re seeing right now is the death throes of the Lavender Mafia. The laity know the score this time, just as they did in the time of Arius, and I think a reckoning is coming. Future historians will speak about Vigano in the same breath as St. Athanasius.

  81. Several of the bishops and archbishops are about done with this deal, too. Fortunately my Archbishop is on board with the “clean up your act” movement. (Archbishop Rodi has backgrounds in canon and civil law, so he kind of knows the score here.)

  82. Alex, my husband and I have decided we are not going to let this Pope and his band of homosexual/pedophile priests/bishops/cardinals ruin our faith. We are trying to fight by only giving to the second collection kind of deals like church maintenance and such. Praying for Viagano and those that what to get rid of the scum.

    It’s actually strengthened my resolve to fight for the church.

    I’ve had some VERY trying times with corrupt priests and bishops (as in, pooling money with 3 other couples to sue the diocese kind of trying times). Long story. Good ending with a very corrupt priest being exposed and a Bishop went out in shame.

    I will not sit in a church wherein the priest or deacon says something even remotely goofy or leftist. I’m fortunate where I live there are a number of Catholic churches in the area. My current priest was in the Navy and looks like a classic picture of Jesus. Longish hair mustache and beard and very, very sincere. This church has a school which helps, I think, to keep the priests from being too crazy. That dog won’t hunt with parents looming.

    I’m not letting Satan win this fight.

  83. there’s a possibility we’ll end up going by coach parts of the way, which is not what we were really wanting to do.

    When I went to Boston, the train broke down, and we wound up taking buses to get out of the city. We wound up seeing things we normally wouldn’t have.

    A bus trip might be a hidden blessing. Imagine the little towns you will go through.

  84. The churches around here are a hotbed of leftist activity. I was lucky to find one that had an American flag. That’s a deal breaker for me.

  85. It depends on the pastors. I’ve seen solid ones and questionable ones. I shouldn’t need to tell you to steer clear of Jesuits, naturally.

  86. If they don’t pray for our Troops, I’m out. Oddly, even the more annoying ones around here pray for our Military. Lots of retired military and generational military here like Texas.

    I stopped going to the beautiful downtown (kind of hint it would be lefty) historical church when the pastor referred to Joseph and Mary as refugees. I actually gave a loud moan, looked at my husband and said, “done.” Of course I didn’t have to say anything, my husband knew what was coming.

    Census does not equal refugee.

  87. I stopped going to the beautiful downtown (kind of hint it would be lefty) historical church when the pastor referred to Joseph and Mary as refugees. I actually gave a loud moan, looked at my husband and said, “done.” Of course I didn’t have to say anything, my husband knew what was coming.

    Census does not equal refugee.

    I always thought that the “refugee” thing referred to the flight to Egypt to escape Herod’s men.

  88. Within the context of the sermon he was making accepting refugees something we should all do.

  89. The good book says to accept the alien among you, but exhorts the alien to adopt the culture into which they immigrate.

    Tit for a tat, and so forth.

    Tell me that the ‘refugees’ raping women and children and establishing no-go zones are just being good aliens adopting the values of Christendom into which they’ve invaded, and I’ll punch you in the face. Tell me that the military-aged and MS-13 affiliated men marching to Texas are planning to seek asylum, learn English, and volunteer at soup kitchens, and I’ll ask you what you’re high on.

    Before I punch you in the face.

  90. Jay, that tree pic last night was an Eastern Redbud. The brown things were seedpods, not wilty leaves.

  91. Hurricane Willa’s projected path crosses that of the ‘caravan’.

    Providence?

  92. I hope so.

  93. Miss Mare = The Rock

    Zorn = Alex

    Kirk = H2

    https://is.gd/FhkycX

  94. HAhahahahaAAh, I was actually picturing Alex at our table on Thanksgiving and I’m snorting wine out of my nose thinking about some of Alex comments on H2. AWKWARD!

    Damn, my son-in-law would know way too much about my secret life.

  95. I’ll have you know that I can be a perfect gentleman when I need to be. I even have an act of Congress that says so.

  96. Also, I only know about your secret H2 life. I know nothing about the cocaine and bumfights.

  97. https://is.gd/VmvIWj

  98. Thanks laura!

  99. She was supposed to ask you if the leaves tasted like caterpillars.

  100. Mare, is your priest’s name Jay?

  101. I’m sure Erin would clean up fast. She’s actually not wearing the robe and more talkative tonight.

  102. SIGH.

    Jay…

    *buries head in hands*
    .
    .
    .
    Ok.

    Do the leaves taste like caterpillars?

  103. Apparently one of the ex’s friends professed his love for her.

    Of course.

    Lapeer creek …

  104. https://is.gd/n3xrCA

  105. Jeez, she’s got them lined up.

  106. I’m not eating the leaves to see what they taste like.

    Not after last time.

  107. I hoe the rash and the hallucinations went away quickly. Sorry about the permanent tremors. I didn’t know you’d eat more than one.

  108. Can we name him Rebound or is it too soon?

  109. youtu.be/sC5AWm9FAIw

    This kind of Japanese meal I imagine would be wonderful. Firm fish with lemon. Garlic chips lightly crispy and salted. A steak that is mostly fat, marbled with a little red meat. Gorgeous veg, simply prepared. Pleasant and calm presentation that heightens the appetite without a lot of drama.

    Basically anything but the Japanese fare that features crunchy spiders and slimy sea cucumbers and the like, being thrown through the air and hitting faces.

  110. Soft-shell crab tempura’d and rolled into sushi ( aka ‘spider roll’) is better than it sounds.

  111. Hotspur, Mr. RFH, Rocketboy, and Mini-me all say to try the Innstadt wheat beer at Passau. Mr. RFH says it’s the best beer he’s ever had.

  112. I like the uni … looks like baby poop, tastes like low tide smells. I know, strange. And the little fish eggs. They’re like eating fish-flavored pop rocks.

  113. Bets on how long before Heysus and his soon to be former friend are fighting on Car in’s lawn?

  114. Hotspur doesn’t like wheat beer, he badmouths it.

  115. Leon, sorry about Lars.

  116. The Japanese video – does he do a flaming onion volcano?

  117. Jay, I knew he was a chardonnay kind of guy, but I did have to pass along what Mr. RFH said.

  118. https://tinyurl.com/y89yqvc4

  119. Naw, she doesn’t have them lined up. She’s just oblivious to the ways of males. The behavior of ex is classic, yet she was blindsided. The male friends- it’s obvious to me, yet she was/is clueless.

    It’s almost as if … if only there was someone who could help guide her through these minefields … BUT WHO???

  120. Apparently heysus is fighting with his friends.

    In other news, erin wants to get away for a week. With me.

    I’m as shocked as you all are.

  121. Mother/daughter deer hunt?

  122. I don’t think that’s what she has in mind

  123. Mother/Daughter road trip to Tijuana?

  124. Heh, roamy, I’m more poking fun at Hotspur than you.

  125. Heysus sounds like he needs to go back into the pool.

  126. … BUT WHO?

    Obviously the waitresses as her work should be imparting their relationship advice.

  127. Pool needs more bleach.

    That sounded raaacist.

  128. Thank you, Leon, for the prayers.

    I’m going to pray a novena for the election, can’t decide if I should start it on Saturday or Sunday.

  129. Obviously the waitresses as her work should be imparting their relationship advice.

    Where’s the like button?

  130. I’d assume Sunday to Sunday was the way to go. that’s how the Divine Mercy Novena is prayed, isn’t it?

  131. Well, Carin, when I was a 20-something looking for advice, I went to my grandmother. Maybe Erin should go talk to her wise grandmother, and,

    *dashes away in serpentine fashion, dodging live chicken-grenades*

  132. Grandma, Hannah, and Erin, voting together.

  133. Jay, sometimes we learn best from horror and tragedy.

    Thanks for the kitties sympathy, all. He was a great barn cat, friendly and a frequent hunter. Too curious and fearless, though. We always worried he’d have a short life, I just thought “short” meant 5 years, not 2.

  134. What’s up windowlickers?
    Did i miss any important news in the couple weeks I was away? I hope y’all are doing better than well.
    I am wishing Lapeer Creek was on hiatus as well, but I’m sure i missed a few good episodes.
    Let me go read the comments…

  135. Edit.

  136. “Soft-shell crab tempura’d and rolled into sushi ( aka ‘spider roll’) is better than it sounds”

    Preach!

  137. Divine Mercy novena begins on Good Friday.

  138. Chi, I missed out on most of the news about the Soyuz launch abort. Space station people are keeping quiet about the next mission – same astronauts? Waiting to hear the Roosky accident report.

    The good thing is that the launch abort system worked, and it seemed to be more gentle (only 7 g’s) than I thought (I’d heard 15 g’s). Any landing you walk away from is a good one.

  139. Packed for Kauai. Lilo & Stitch is our movie to HI. BRB. Reading comments.

  140. I find it interesting that the caravan is heading towards California and not Texas.

  141. Thanks, Roamy, but you couldnt pay me to care less about whats going on Nationally or even Internationally.
    I was speaking of more important news – like what is going on in y’alls lives.
    (I need to spend some time going backwardz through the posts, I think)

  142. We dropped MA off at Pet Paradise this AM. Everyone was all “MaryAnn!”

  143. Well, I have stuff on the space station, so it matters to me.

    There’s a launch coming up next month out of Wallops, so you might see that one.

  144. oso, or anyone else on FB who might know….how come when I type ‘Trump’, Kilgore’s name always pops up? Did he set that up? If so, why seeing as how much he hates the man?

  145. Roamy, they’re heading to CA because they know Moonbeam will let them. I have no doubt those 3M ‘winning’ votes for hillary, in CA, were mostly illegal.

  146. It was raining. No doggy daycamp. Counselor was petting MA. He told me he missed Ginger. He always liked having “Gilligan’s Girls” at daycamp. I might have cried a little bit. I miss her so much

  147. Beasn, I agree. I just looked at the number of miles difference. I have family in McAllen, Texas, and I worry about unvaccinated kids bringing all sorts of bugs in.

  148. Beasn, he constantly posts about Trump and the people he’s blocked. He’s on the Spectrum. His first son as well. It is an algorithm based on the number of comments/posts.

  149. Safe travels, Osita.

  150. Romacita, I am so proud of you and your big brain. I only post the nerd sticker, because you wouldn’t like it if I didn’t

  151. No offense meant, Foamy. I just can’t be bothered lately.
    But thanks for the the heads-up on the launch! Wallops is maybe 90 miles away. That will be something I’ll look for. No doubt.

  152. Thanks. I deliberately don’t clean the Condo before vacay because God would not betray me with a dirty house.

  153. I love getting the nerd glasses from you, Osita.

  154. I had the opportunity to be a guest at the Wallops launch, but when they polled who would like to attend, the window opened and closed while I was in Israel.

  155. Hubby suggested the Nerds Gif from Animal House. He is so thankful for your Prayers, Masses, and books. You are his favorite. After bearded Angel guy.

  156. (test)

  157. Howdy test guy

  158. We dropped MA off at Pet Paradise this AM. It was raining. She was hamming it up for attention. Old time counselor from back in the day was holding her. Tells us he really misses Ginger and the Gilligan Girls. Thousands of dogs go through this place and you make me cry about my dog? He was the same guy that wanted to meet the owners of Birdie, Bogey, and Chloe. Back in the day, we picked up my cousin, Celena’s boxers. The names didn’t make sense to me either

  159. Hola to you, Miss Oso.
    H o PE. Your e doing well and not getting run over by idiots on forklifts!
    (Catching up on H2 current events,myself – or trying to)

    Still trying to figure out how to type on this new phone …

  160. Safe travels, oso! I hope you have a great time.

    I need more info about this novena thing. How often? How do you pick one?

    *waves to Chi*

    *off to bed…gots to schedule a kitchen layout session tomorrow*

    Night hawtnesses.

  161. Denying everything, Reeves persisted.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS