Crappy Candy Cornucopia

October. Most normal kids are preoccupied with what “they will be” for Halloween. For other kids, it’s Halloween every day, so, no big deal. Boof. My teen step-son is delighted with volunteering at a local haunted house thing which is kind of a big deal around here. Fright At The Fort is held at Fort Knox (not that one).


This year it’s a Stephen King theme. Say what you want about his politics and desperate need for an editor but the guy has written some classic horror novels. Anyway, he’s in the Children Of The Corn part of the tour.


He’s pretty funny with his assessment of the crowd. As the evening wears on the attendees grow older, drunker and higher on marijuana. Some of the drunken idiots don’t take kindly to screaming like a schoolgirl in front of their dates. Every part of the exhibit has adult bouncers in it thankfully.

In olden days we used to walk the streets with our parents asking for candy and offering an impotent threat of a trick if said candy was not forthcoming. As we got older we’d go in packs with just our friends and roam a little further afield. Finally some chronologic or hormonal event happened that rendered the whole enterprise a farce and we’d stay home watching scary movies, hoping they’d show a horny girl’s hooters before she was slashed by the psycho killer. Then we got to the big leagues … actual sluts dressing up like sluts! Ah college, what a devil’s triangle of entertainment! On to the rogue’s list of bad candy:



This stuff, some kind of “taffy”


Never on Halloween, never from a stranger


I’m sure this was a popular choice around the time of the Great Depression


This house


And these fanatics


There are some basic rules to follow on what to avoid giving out and if you follow them everything will be fine.




  1. 34 degrees here. Colder with snow in Aroostook County. Time to take the AC out of our bedroom window.

  2. We haven’t bought any Halloween candy this year (so far). No kids come down our long dark driveway even though our neighborhood is relatively traffic free. So, if the candy isn’t given out, but it’s gone by All Souls Day, where does it go?

  3. Hello dickfers.

    This post made me laugh a little, which is a big accomplishment for a post at this POS dump.

    Well done Jimbro, whoever that is.

  4. jimbro did you set the mouse trap?

  5. ppl who put circus peanuts and candy corn on the bad list are obviously hillary voters

  6. I watched the baby full time for 4 days straight.

    GND doesn’t love his tattoos or affinity for muppet pron.

    You think she’d be more grateful.

  7. I like Bit O Honey and Neccos, I haven’t had candy in a very long time.

    You are an asshole if you give out toothbrushes for Halloween.

    A jerkoff, scold.

    Maybe with good intentions but good intentions are often crap.

  8. “You think she’d be more grateful.”
    did you guys have a boys night out in Tijuana too?

  9. I watched the baby full time for 4 days straight.

    Got me beat, I’ve only done 3 at a time.

  10. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten the tatt on his face?

    wakey wakey

  11. I think it’s cute when babies have that tear-drop tattoo. It’s a great mix of badass and precious.

  12. Jam, I’ve been steadily harvesting mice under my kitchen cabinet for the last few weeks. 6 so far. I just bought a 32 pack of snap traps off of Amazon. I treat them as single use executioners out of respect for my prey. Plus who wants to wrestle with the snap thing with a dead mouse that’s been sitting there for a day or two?

  13. Next time GND goes away, you should get jr a nose ring.

  14. Hmm, what happens to a baby’s tramp stamp as they grow?

  15. Jeez jimbro, don’t you have access to unlimited gloves? They don’t make that big of a mess.

  16. Hmm, what happens to a baby’s tramp stamp as they grow?

    I guess we’re going to find out.

  17. CNN News Team

    Accurate, scott? I still haven’t watched.

  18. The worst Halloween candy is the cheap assortment. After being in the bag for months, everything tastes like bubble gum.

  19. Morning, racist rapists.

  20. Trumps twitter correction

  21. Small child was singing on the plane between Chicago and HSV. Best version I found of it.

  22. Car in, how many times have your kids crashed the car since getting their licenses? Round to the nearest dozen.

  23. Roamy, those pictures on FB look really nice. I’m jealous.

  24. We had an Allen and a Steve in the group, so this was probably overdone but still funny. Especially since Allen volunteered to be tail-end Charlie a few times.

  25. We took about 1,400 photos. I distilled it down to 54, CoAlex.

    It was a great trip, but I will never go to Jordan again. It’s supposed to be one of the better Muslim nations because they tolerate Christians, they aren’t trying to kill the Jews for the moment, and you can tell they want the tourist dollars. But it’s still a third world shithole where they warn you not to drink the water, don’t even use it to brush your teeth, and there’s piles of garbage everywhere. The tour guide pointed out an olive grove and that a nearby prison is tasked with picking the olives. I’m like, get the prisoners out the other eleven months of the year and pick up the trash. Oh, and any group of 10 or more gets a “tourist police” escort. I figured he’d run like a scalded dog if anything actually happened.

  26. Also, it was not unusual to see a concrete block hovel of a house in a yard filled with trash and a BMW parked in the driveway.

  27. I would like to go on record … anyone who badmouths Candy Corn is a flaming Commie!

  28. Also, it was not unusual to see a concrete block hovel of a house in a yard filled with trash and a BMW parked in the driveway.

    My understanding is that can have a lot to do with the way property rights are set up there. Ownership of land is limited, or uncertain, so people don’t spend money to upgrade houses and instead spend it on items which can be moved.

  29. This story is hilarious.

  30. Car in, how many times have your kids crashed the car since getting their licenses? Round to the nearest dozen.

    Crashed? Zero so far. But there is a new scratch on my lesbaru.

  31. The trash theme was visible in Israel, too. The Jews set up their cemeteries for city maintenance and pay accordingly. Their cemeteries are immaculate. The Muslims believe it is the duty of the family to maintain their cemeteries, to honor their ancestors. Their cemeteries are filled with trash and overgrown with weeds.

  32. long but good:

  33. But, that’s from that evil Christian college!

  34. Never trust an email. Always refer to the original request, not what someone else said it was about.

    Now I can’t get that 2 hours of my life back.

  35. I can’t help but get wiffs of racism from Roamy’s comment. ALL CULturES ARE EQUAL111 !!! !

  36. I understand a whole lot more about Israel politics now. David Ben Gurion invited the ultra-orthodox Jews to the new Israel in 1947/48 and offered them a stipend to move if they would study the Torah. He basically created a welfare class. The non-orthodox Jews and the non-Jewish *hate* the ultra-orthodox – they are exempt from military service, suck off the gov’t teat, and have six times as many children as everyone else. Some kind of a correction is coming soon, and we would do well to pay attention to it, because in the same way, the EBT class here can’t go on forever.

    We stayed in kosher hotels. Dairy was only served at breakfast, meat was only served at dinner on a different set of plates. One hotel had a Shabbat elevator. Apparently you are not supposed to push buttons on the Sabbath, so one of the three elevators was programmed to go between specific floors on a regular schedule. Mr. RFH and Mini-me didn’t see the sign and couldn’t figure out why the buttons didn’t work.

  37. Heh, my new stove has Sabbath mode. Basically it turns on, and stays on the whole day. Can’t work a stove temp, either.

    Amazing insight on orthodox Jews, thanks!

  38. Have you heard of the new shot, the Beto O’Rourke?

    This could be fun for bartending shifts, car in.

  39. Wikeapedia does yeoman’s work on “Beto’s” page. it’s like a freakin campaign commercial.

  40. wikipedia.

  41. I don’t understand why IT types are so liberal. Unless it’s control they are after.

  42. The food in both countries was really good. Israel had all kinds of cheese I’ve never heard of, cow’s milk, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk, soft, semi-soft, hard, etc. Labana cheese was awesome. I wish I had tried the chopped liver they had for Shabbat because I never saw it again. There was also a flattened meat ball thing (lamb?) that was cooked with beets so it looked like squashed whole tomatoes and was delicious. There was a super fine rice pudding dessert that the Israeli guide told me was a dessert for children, but I didn’t care, it was good.

    The Jordanian tour guide told us to try the “upside down”, which was, to me, the kind of dish you would make out of leftovers, a mix of meat, rice, and veggies cooked in cast iron. He raved about it, but I was meh.

    I had only one dish I really didn’t like, and that was a cold cooked zucchini salad that was gross.

    I had the best pita bread I’ve ever had in my life, and I ate a lot of cucumbers, tomatoes (they were in season), zucchini, and beets.

    It was a good thing I was walking 5 miles or more every day to burn off all that I ate.

  43. Nothing like good fresh pita bread.

  44. Oh, there’s another reason not to post all 1,400 photos, besides the fact that no one cares to look at that many. There’s always that one FB friend that hits “like” on every photo.

  45. You can do an album, right? Or is that just individual photos in a collection?

  46. Comment by Jay in Ames on October 18, 2018 12:19 pm
    I don’t understand why IT types are so liberal. Unless it’s control they are after.

    For a lot of them, their antisocial nature means that they don’t have a whole lot of love for people or institutions. They often despise other people, think the latter are stupid and that they know better how things should be run. Plus, they often hang out on left-wing websites where the far left ideology is amplified, driving them further leftward.

  47. I made it an album, but I didn’t post all of the pics at once.

  48. Oh, and like the photos if you want, but don’t feel obligated to like all 54. Some are definitely better or more meaningful than others.

  49. Roamy, you lightly touched on it but how is your “diet” going?

  50. Dang it, I knew that seller was full of shit. I bought a Byzantine icon in the Old City in Jerusalem because I was told it’s St. Jerome (one of my patron saints). The letters didn’t look right, but I don’t know Greek/Coptic/whatever this is. It’s St. Anthony the Great, a monk who lived in the 4th century. Ah well, maybe it was meant to be.

    The bazaar/flea market was interesting. There is a Roll Tide store where they sell Alabama gear in Hebrew and Arabic. I bought a tile that says “Sholom Y’all”. There was another store that made t-shirts with logos for most of the big colleges with the name in Hebrew and Arabic. I bought one with Virginia Tech on it.

    Also, you can mostly get by on American dollars in both countries and not bother exchanging much currency. Maybe $50 to $100 each. I exchanged $600 for shekels, paid for several lunches in shekels when I could have used dollars, bought souvenirs, and had about $150 worth left over.

  51. My daughter bought that “Shalom Y’all” sign too!

  52. I’d just want to say that I’d used “shekels” .

  53. Mare, I am the same weight I was when I left, which makes me happy. I am 21 lbs. down from my heaviest. It is still 4 lbs. more than my latest low point, and I think (hope) that’s water weight from eating all the carbs. I am fasting this morning, trying to get back into the groove.

    I did not do low carb on vacation, but I tried to keep it to one plateful of food, at least half of which was vegetables, and one small dessert. (Probably why I liked the kids’ desserts – they were a nice portion.) It was hard because breakfast and dinner were all-you-can-eat buffets every day. We had wine on a couple of occasions, too.

    I stuffed myself silly at Genesis Land, a cheesy yet cute place where you ride a camel to Abraham’s tent, and he and Eleazar serve you traditional food over several courses. That turned out to be a good thing, as we didn’t get supper that night until 9 PM.


    It was touristy but a lot of fun.

  55. I may have liked too many pictures. sorry. Enjoy the notifications.

  56. Good for you, Roamy!

    I find the “cheesy” touristy things are often the most fun, that’s why all the tourists want to do them.

  57. LOL, Carin, my FB notification bell sound is going off like a Vegas slot machine.

  58. LOL. sorry.

  59. It’s all good, no worries.

  60. My cousin has been living in Israel for … almost 2 years now. She had her first (only) baby over there. Her husband was put there by his company. I think they’re on their way back soon, because she’s selling EVERYTHING. She’s sort of liberal, so I don’t keep in super close touch with her. That, and oh her parents and the rest of the family got in a huge fight 35 or so years ago. My uncle basically drank his wife’s Kool-ade of crazy. Up until recently, when she threw him out. Sad. He is estranged from his family because of her, and now she throws him out. Ugly.

  61. The Israeli tour guide thought we were dumb for wanting to see the Western Wall. He said there’s walls everywhere, just as old, and you don’t need to go through security (metal detector, X-ray machine) to see them. I thought it was fascinating to see the Jews worship. Some would rock back and forth as they prayed. There was a phenomenal number of little paper prayer slips stuffed into all the cracks in the wall. I was told they are collected and buried. I didn’t add my own piece of paper, but I did pray. Men pray on the left, women pray on the right, and there is a partial wall in between. There are places to stand where you can look over into the men’s side. Men’s side has several Torah scrolls. Some of the women walked backwards from the wall so as not to turn their back on something holy. I giggled at the lady so reverently pacing backwards, but wearing pajama pants. I backed up two steps and turned, because I’m not that coordinated, especially in a big crowd. There was a bar mitzvah for at least 8 boys going on, so there was music and dancing. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

  62. I mostly want to sit on a beach and ogle Israeli girls.

  63. The Israeli tour guide thought we were dumb for wanting to see the Western Wall.


    Holy crap, was he kidding?

    That’s like saying the Great Wall is like any border crossing.

  64. Nope, he wasn’t kidding. He was an interesting guy. He didn’t like small talk, but he did tell me he is a Palestinian Christian, born in Bethlehem. He had “Carol of the Bells” as his ringtone, and he led us in singing a Christmas carol after we’d been through the Church of the Nativity. Because he is Palestinian, he is not allowed to drive in certain areas of Israel. He went home to Bethlehem while we were staying in Jerusalem. We had no problems going in and out of various security zones around the country, but he said he had to get up at 5 AM to make sure he got through the checkpoint and be at our hotel by 7:30 AM.

    I didn’t get to know our Jordanian tour guide as well because he had a perpetually annoyed air about him, and I hated him and his lecturing before we’d spent 24 hours in Jordan. He was knowledgeable but a jackass.

  65. Killed by a Jordanian jackass. This thread is now a Kennedy.

  66. This thread has killed fewer women than a Kennedy.

  67. I just bought a Thesaurus

  68. Jordanian guide is supposedly in the fine print credits of “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. He was assistant to one of the English actors but not Sean Connery. “The other guy”. (Color me skeptical.)

  69. Ok, so Leon … I’m going to try to cycle my OLY training – I’m sick time passing between when I work on a certain lift – and I feel like I have to spend time “relearning” the movement.

    Deadlifts, Jerks (or push press), snatches, cleans, and squats (back, front, overhead). So , aside from the 5×5 routine … I thinking I only want to go heavy on one – or two- of them per week, so when I’m going for a heavy clean, I may be doing higher reps/lower weight of backsquats.

    You know any programs I could use?

  70. I spent about 2 hours working on my clean yesterday.

  71. First month is going to be a lot of technique work, because I haven’t gone heavy in a while, and I’ll be on fat loss with my ETP stuff.

  72. And … when do I fit raping into the schedule?

  73. #1, duh.

    Where are your priorities? You have to make time.

  74. Sounds like Cube Method might be close to what you’re looking for.

    Or just set up some pattern where you do each lift every workout, but the CNS-taxing movement/heaviest intensity is alternated so that it’s no less than 7 days apart, probably in a 4 or 6 week pattern depending on the number of movements.

  75. “You have to make time.”

    make time???
    pisshaww- it should be as natural as taking a leak in the morning, otherwise you’re tryinh too hard

  76. Heh, McCaskill isn’t happy with Project Veritas. Asked Hawley to investigate.

  77. I feel kind of sick to my stomach. We’ve got a crazy governor race here. Gillium the (D) is a full on socialist, nut bag who actually went to a Soros trained school, The Rockwood Leadership Institute. His platform? Free education, free medicare for everyone in the state including illegas and a state income and higher corporate taxes to pay for it. FUUUUUUUUUUUUC********. He’s been receiving huge donations from Soros, the last one was $650,000. Holy shit, he’s way ahead in the polls and if the stupid people here vote for him, I may be outta here.

    I have to the believe the polls here are crazy incorrect.

    We need some prayers if you can spare some.

  78. Well, duh:

  79. Way to kill the blog, Mare.

  80. Yeah, Mare.

  81. Baseball playoffs are wearing me out. I finally clicked it off at 10:30 and in the morning learned the game went 9 innings and ended at freaking 1 AM! Not even extra innings! And they’re playing again tonight Sox could clinch tonight. Who knows. I’ll find out in the morning, no way am I staying up to watch it.

  82. Put me down for seven rapes this week. I hurt my back and I need to ease back into it.

  83. How many thus far?

  84. None, still nursing the heating pad. I can crank them all out over the weekend. Promise I’ll do better next week. I’m entered in the 5K rape-a-thon for charity. Got a lot of pledges, can’t disappoint them.

  85. Pffffftttt…5K? Mare can crank two of those out in a holiday week.

  86. We had to cancel a planned hike to Big Schloss via Wolf Gap.

    You can google that.

    Oh, and call your Mom.

  87. If you put the German version of the funniest joke in the world (Monty Python skit) into Google translate, it comes back with [FATAL ERROR].

  88. Scott, I love the Shenandoah.

  89. It is wonderful, and only 7-8 hours away.

  90. Hahahaha

  91. Did you make it as far south as Tennessee? Leaves changing?

  92. No. We never got out of VA.

    Next time,

  93. Leaves aren’t changing yet. Just a little, but not peaking. In most places we drove through it looks like they’re just browning and dropping.

    If there’s a good show this Fall, we’ll get it here at home anyway. I suspect not. Too wet and rainy.

  94. The fall colors in Michigagan are outstanding this year. Right now you have to go a bit north to see it, but it will be in full swing starting next week here in the southeast. I’ll be in Europe starting Wednesday, so I’ll miss it this year.

  95. Leaves aren’t changing yet. Just a little, but not peaking. In most places we drove through it looks like they’re just browning and dropping.

    How’s the sky? Is it grey?

  96. Leaves are changing here!

    Anyone know of a good site to track cars for sale. Track types, and prices?

  97. Sky is blue and clear and lovely! Crisp air. Perfect Autumn weather right now.

    I hate that song, btw

  98. Candy Corn is the number one selling candy in NM for Halloween. I ❤️ Baby Shark 🎶🎶🎶🎶 BRB gotta read the comments.

  99. Thanks for the ear worm, Co Al. And by thanks,I mean you need a Sammich. Ham and cheese. (I can’t remember the debunked Mama Cass sammich Story)

  100. I like the interface at Car Gurus . It’s almost all dealers though, not too many private sellers. They tell you if a car is over or under priced and tracks any changes in the posted price.

  101. Elizabeth Warren = Pretend-ian

  102. Looks great, thanks pups.

  103. Today is the 29th anniversary of my 29th birthday.

  104. Damn, Nikki Haley looks good in that gown.

  105. Mare, I’m feeling sick too if the commie is way ahead in the polls. My Bernie bro brother lives down there and would lurve him some commie. Last I heard he does work off and on…off the books so he can continue to suckle the gubmint teat. ‘Cause everybody has treated him so poorly (he keeps digging the hole he’s in), he thinks everyone owes him.
    The Free Shit Army don’t care. Guys like my brother aren’t happy until they make everyone around them as miserable as themselves.

    Oh, and Paul Ryan can eat a bag of dicks, along with every other republican pol who are rending their shirts over a muslim brotherhood turd who may or may not be dead. Rush is right…there was never this much to do when 4 Americans died in Benghazi.

  106. Oh, and my other brother isn’t working. He doesn’t want to pay taxes. He walks the streets picking up thrown out appliances, which he tries to fix, to sell.
    My sister says she worries that he doesn’t have a pension or anything for when he’s old. o_O
    She didn’t have anything to say when I suggested she let him move in with her.

  107. Happy birthday, TiFW!

  108. Happy 29th Birthday TiFW

  109. Last night, Mesa called me online on FB messenger. He doesn’t have an accent. I need to get to Bozeman

  110. Tomorrow is my last day off before Kauai. Packing bags. I already bought my books. Carry on. 5 books for 6 days. I’ll read 3 first day. WalMart in Lihue getting sales

  111. Hawaii is like Santa Fe. Locals can no longer live there. Locals are moving to PACNW, CA, NV, and now NM.

  112. G’night you guys. I’m claiming Family Bed

  113. Deviled egg recipes, please.

  114. Really? Ok. I like it with bacon bits, avacado and mayo, and jalapenos. yum.

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